Its been days...It's such a big change. Being here, at the resistance base. This change is hard for me. All I've ever known is the Dark Side, so settling in is hard. Ben is settling in quite well, but he was once a Jedi Padawan, so he's naturally going to settle in better. He felt the light, he let it in. I feel the light, Yes, but not like he did. I've not really let it in yet, I don't know how, I haven't told Ben this. I'm afraid. What will he think of me? I feel like I will never be able to choose a side. Even if I do let this light in, What then? What if the darkness tries to twist me again? I mean, I've never fully let the darkness in, but it's there. It's like I'm stuck in the middle. Feeling the pull to the light, but also to the dark. I called myself a Sith all this time without even realising I'm not a Sith. I'm just a girl with no name who's stuck in he fence.
"Hey, I haven't seen you around for a few hours..." Ben approaches me "are you okay?"
I'm scared. What do I tell him? I can't lie either...
"No, not really." I sigh heavily "Talk to me" Ben comes to sit next to me, he grabs my hand and looks at me. "To help you, I need to know how you're feeling." "I-I feel...so lost." I lower my head and sigh. "I'm literally stuck on the fence, it's like as if I can't actually pick the light side or the dark. They pull equally as hard as the other." "Hmmm" Ben hums "Maybe you were never supposed to pick a side."
"What do you mean?" "Maybe you were never meant to be on the light side or the dark, in terms of the force. But you can still fight by my side."
"But what if something goes wrong?" "Why would it go wrong? I'm here..."
"I just don't want to hurt you.." "You won't. You'll be okay."
"But I planned it all to go so differently."
"We must let go of the life we planned, so as to accept the one waiting for us." Ben turns my head to look at him.
"I'm just so lost..." I say "Life isn't about finding yourself. It's about creating yourself."
"I want to do the right thing but I feel like I can't."
"Stop doubting yourself!" Ben looks deep into my eyes. "Whenever you find yourself doubting how far you can go, remember how far you've come. Everything you have faced, the battles you have won and all the fears you have overcome."
"I guess so"
"I said, stop doubting yourself!" Ben looks at me desperately "difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations. Please believe me on that. There was nothing beautiful about what I've done, but the beautiful part is that I'm sitting here, redeeming myself. This is MY beautiful destination. This can be yours too, if you try."
"Yeah? You think so?" "Yes. I believe this is where your story can be amazing." "If I was to choose the light, how would I do it?" "Focus only on it. Don't let it go. Block out the darkness, and let the light take over. Let it in, accept it, but never let the darkness so that to you. You know what it's done to me. I killed my own father because of the darkness. All because I wanted to block out the light, and I went about it oh so wrong." "I guess I can try...can't be worse than my life.."
"I promise you, that you'll be okay, I won't let the darkness hurt you." I hug Ben without saying another word. How to let the light in sounds easy. But everyone knows that nothing is as easy as it sounds. I'm scared, maybe I will just try and get more comfortable being here first. I feel like I can't make the right choice if I'm not really settled. Suddenly, I become tense, I move away from Ben and stand up, it feels like there's a presence in the room, a dark one. I hear a voice in my head. "Reyna..." the voice whispered. "Don't leave the dark side behind...come and join us" I become disturbed, I'm begin frantically searching the room, trying to find the voice. Who was here?! "Reyna?!" Ben asks sounding worried. Without a reply I keep searching. "Reyna!"
Still, I don't reply. "REYNA!" Ben runs to me, he grabs me and turns me to face him. "What the hell are you doing?!"
"I heard someone..."
"I didn't hear anyone...I was right next to you!" "So I'm hearing things?..."
"What did you hear?" I told Ben about the bad feeling and what the voice said to me. He suddenly looked worried. Very worried. "Why do you look so worried?" I say beginning to become concerned.
"Never. I mean NEVER listen to that voice. Ignore it. Leave it alone." "W-what do you mean?!"
"That voice is someone from the dark side. They want you to turn...they obviously need someone to lead the army."
"But I thought the dark side had no leader..." "I WAS the supreme leader...I'm not anymore. That means anyone could have taken over..."
"Shit."
"This is how I turned to the dark side. Please don't give in to it. What did the voice sound like?" "Dark, And very husky..."
"It can't be..." Ben looks like he's seen a ghost. "He's dead...isn't he?...Fuck."
"Care to explain?!" I question "It could be Snoke...but I killed him...he was the supreme leader, and then I killed him and took over..."
"What if he never died in the first place?"
"Shit." Ben mutters. "It would make sense. He's doing this to get revenge on me..."
"For what?" "Attacking him and turning from the dark side." "Makes sense.."
"We must go an warm everyone else. We are all in danger." Ben runs out of the room, confused, I run after him, he is frantically shouting everyone's names, making them run to him. "What is it?!" Rey shouts "Snoke...I think he's alive.."
"WHAT?!" Rey stares at Ben in disbelief "if that's the case, we are all in trouble!" "How do you know this Ben?" Asks Leia "he's trying to turn Reyna to the dark side...she heard him."
Leia looks at me. "Is this true?" "Yes." "Don't listen to him Reyna."
"I'm not, don't worry." Ben puts an arm around me and pulls me in for a hug. "You'll be fine, I will kill him for real if I have to." He kisses my forehead, I say nothing and don't move. I need to bury the power of the Dark Side. If I don't, I will forever have Snoke in my head, manipulating me. No one can spend their whole lives like that.
Some hours go by and I get myself alone. Let in the light...how do I do that? I close my eyes, take a deep breath,and I feel myself standing on the boarder of light and dark. I look at both sides, and begin walking to the light. I'm not sure if this will actually work, but all I can do is try. At least then I can say I did. I went to step over the boarder when the voice of Snoke comes back. "Don't go there...you don't want to"
"Maybe I do" I whisper "and you can't stop me."
"You're right. I can't stop you, but I will have you killed.."
"Try me." With those words I step over the boarder, I hear Snoke call my name but his voice fades away. I open my eyes. I'm still a bit confused as to what happened. What will happen now? Am I officially on the light side? What is Snoke going to do now that I challenged him?! So many problems, not enough time! Ben soon finds me, curious as to where I've been. "Hey, where you been?" "I think he's out of my head, for now."
"Really? How?" "I think I chose the light, but I don't know. I do not feel any different. He called to me, but his voice went away as I tried to join the light." "So you're officially on the light side now?"
"I think so. I don't feel any different so I guess we will find out."
"He's going to be so pissed now."
"I know. We got to be ready for anything." "So many problems, so little time!" I sigh "We will be alright. One step at a time." Ben smiles "I sure hope so, or I'm in big trouble!"