Chapter 19
The scenery was beginning to look familiar which meant we were getting close. My heartbeat sped up, my chest constricting with the excitement and uneasiness of what the rest of the day would hold; it could either get worse or better. I was hoping for the latter and crossed my fingers as the truck turned within sight of Alexandria's gate.
"Daryl," I whispered as I sat up on the edge of my seat, my hands gripping the back of Freddy's.
"I see," he said as he straightened up slightly.
Negan threw me a sideways smile, eyeing me, but I barely paid him any mind as we stopped in front of the open gate. Without thought, I threw open the door and bounded out, bypassing a group of muttering Saviors to see Rick waiting just beyond them. I heard the others exiting the truck when he saw me and he stopped dead in his tracks with wide blue eyes, his hands falling from his waist.
"Everly?" He seemed dumbfounded for a moment but then smiled.
I ran to him, tears nearly blinding me, and he held his arms out. I crashed into him, wrapping tight arms around his waist. He held me close in a warm embrace and breathed out a long sigh that could only be described as one of relief. I was relieved to see him, too. Rosita, Carl and Spencer were close by and I gave them a teary-eyed smile over Rick's shoulder, happy to see them and wanting to wrap them up in a tight hug as well. Their returning smiles died quickly as I heard footsteps behind me.
"Oh, my," Negan expressed as he sauntered over, "I didn't take your girl from you, did I, Rick?"
Rick loosened his arms from around me, casting sharp eyes at Negan over my shoulder. I turned, wiping tears from my cheeks, to see him slowly advancing on us, an agitated but cheeky look on his face.
"I thought for sure she might've been Daryl's, but I didn't know I was stepping into your territory," Negan cracked a smile at him, spinning Lucille lazily on his left shoulder.
"Negan," Rick greeted him as he took a step away from me.
I looked to the ground, my stomach twisting into knots. I had blatantly disobeyed the rules and we had barely been here for a minute. An instant pang of guilt went through me for giving Daryl shit earlier, and I looked at him to see that he was standing at the ready for anything to happen, his hands twitching at his sides.
Negan stopped within a few feet in front of us, his Saviors gathering round, and glanced at me. If it wasn't so clear before, a quick look in his disapproving brown eyes told me what I needed to know; I had messed up. He bent his head down, a smile still on his face, and crooked a finger at me, beckoning me to him. I obeyed.
He gripped my arm as I stepped up next to him, his gloved fingers digging in sharply through my jacket.
"Out of the two of you, I thought I could trust you better," his features were a show of disappointment as he whispered to me. I swallowed and looked up at him through my lashes, hoping I looked sorry enough to prevent anything violent from happening. Rosita and Carl walked up next to Rick, Spencer not too far behind. Negan gave me a long look, his eyes turning soft in amusement, and then turned to give them each a grand smile.
"Good morning, friends! I tell you, I sure am glad to see your bright ass faces this fine morning," Negan greeted them. Rosita curled her upper lip at him, her arms crossed stubbornly across her chest and the others remained passive. I vainly tried to brush off the affront, knowing Negan was mocking me. "You won't talk to them, you won't hug them, you won't look at them." My face contorted to resemble Rosita's as I tried my best to look away from them. I wasn't doing the greatest of jobs at it, though.
Rick looked at me with a stoic expression, squinting his eyes against the morning sun, and I could tell by the way his jaw moved subtly back and forth that he didn't like the way Negan was holding me - how I had followed his orders.
From a distance, I heard the rumble of the rest of the caravan and the roaring grumble of a motorcycle's engine growing louder. Negan's head turned in relation to the noise, his hand still a strong anchor on my arm, as Dwight came riding through the gates and wheeled to a stop near us. He propped the motorcycle up and stepped off to join the growing tension of our mismatched group, but it looked as if he had his sights set on a specific someone.
"Rosita!" Dwight sang out loudly, giving her a hearty, scarred smile. "How's my favorite Alexandrian?"
"What the hell is it to you, dickless?" Rosita sassed at him with fiery eyes.
"Oooh, lo siento!" Dwight apologized buoyantly, strolling up to stop a few feet away from her. "Is that any way to treat a guest?"
"Vete a la mierda, chico blanco flaco!" Rosita spat out and Dwight returned her devilish glared with a cavalier smile. This was a side I hadn't seen from him yet and I narrowed searching eyes at him.
"Wwwwow!" Negan butted in. He dipped back an inch, tugging on me as he did so, and I fought the compulsion to yank my arm from his hand. "I don't know what the hell that meant, but it was pretty fucking hot regardless. Dwight, I don't know what the situation is with your dick and all, but if you don't take some hot Latina ass for yourself, I might have to jump in on that."
"In your fucking dreams, gilipollas," Rosita snarled at Negan, taking a threatening step toward him. Spencer shot his hand out to keep her from advancing further, pulling her back behind him and giving Negan an apologetic smile.
"Women, right?" Spencer laughed nervously at him and I saw Rick imperceptibly roll his eyes. He took a step forward.
"How about we just get started with-" Rick began, trying to diffuse the fray. Negan held up a finger at him.
"Not yet, Prick. This is still interesting," Negan smirked widely at him and leaned back again to regard Rosita with praiseful eyes. He focused them on me next, his pearly white smile growing as I shot him a spiteful look. I knew today would be hard, that I would have to endure his profane shenanigans and shit-eating grins as always, but it was harder to deal with now that I was in the moment. I pushed the anger down.
"Well, look at you two!" Negan set an appreciative gaze between Rosita and me. He let go of my arm and took a step back to look back and forth between us. "You two could almost be goddamn sisters. Am I seeing double?! Sheee-it! I might have taken your sexy ass back," he pointed a stiff finger at Rosita, "if you didn't flash those crazy Latina eyes at me all the damn time. I mean, Everly's got the crazy bitch syndrome, no doubt, but honey," he took a couple steps toward her, "you are patient fucking zero with that shit!"
Negan turned to his left to look at Dwight, dropping Lucille down to tap against his leg. He looked back to Rosita, "But even I ain't that fucking horny to get mixed up in that motherfucking disaster. You and Dwight seem to have hit it off pretty well, though."
He turned back to Dwight, strolling over to stand by him with a sardonic grin. He clapped a hand against his back and a large smirk gleamed on Dwight's face, his eyes locked onto Rosita. My stomach flipped with a sick twist and my palms started to get sweaty. They wouldn't take Rosita back, would they? They might as well move the whole damn town into the Sanctuary if they planned on doing that.
"What say you, Dwighty boy? You want a new wife?" Negan asked him.
"Now, I don't think-" Rick started to reason with him, but Rosita stepped in.
"You're damn fucking straight I'm a crazy bitch," she snapped at him and then looked at me. "Better watch out for that one, though. I taught her all she knows and the two of us together," she let out a bitter laugh, "would be your fucking end."
Every Savior around us began to laugh and Rosita set them up with an awful glare. Dwight showed teeth in response to her threat, the corner of his scarred lip tugging up in an effortless sideways smile. Negan bit his bottom lip in a smile of his own, regarding her like he would an obstinate child.
"Oh, I'm sure, darlin'. I bet you two are a feministic force to be reckoned with!" Negan swung out Lucille in Rosita's direction. She didn't move an inch. "I think I speak on behalf of every man here when I say I'd chop off my left nut to see the both of you together. My imagination is just running buck wild trying to picture it."
Rosita scoffed at him, her upper lip rising into a snarl once again. Negan smiled sweetly back at her before turning to his men to give out orders.
"Okay, we've dicked around long enough," Negan yelled at them. "Let's get this shit started and shut it down quickly. We've got a long drive ahead of us and I want plenty of alone time with my wives when I get back."
As the Saviors started to move, Rosita looked over at me and waved a hand, signaling me over. I wanted to go to her, but a sensation of doubt kept my feet tethered to the ground. I glanced behind my shoulder to see Daryl looking at me, a defiant look in his eye as he gave a curt nod of his head before beginning to walk toward Rick. I grabbed his vest as he passed by me, an expression of remorse forming on my features as I looked at Rosita and the others. I was using every ounce of my willpower to not walk over to them with Daryl, but I had to think of their wellbeing. And so did he.
"Remember what you said. Try to comply until we have a solid plan. Don't make the same mistake I did," I whispered up to him and cut a glance over at the four of them standing there with expectant faces. My cheeks grew hot with longing and misery.
He let out a sigh, throwing his arms out in defeat and grudgingly stayed by my side. I hated being this person, holding him back and denying him what he should be free to do. I hated it even more that I was acting on Negan's commands. I was turning out to be a mighty fine subordinate and the anger it dredged up in me was a red hot probe of rage that pierced through my temples. The pain began to pulsate at each side of my head.
Regardless of the circumstances, a rush of satisfaction surged through me at Daryl's insolence. I had been worried when he told me that he said Negan's name, alleging his loyalty to him, and fretted even more after his round of twenty questions in the truck earlier, but I saw now that my concern had been excessive. I gave him an empathetic smile, tugging on his vest in a playful way, and the corner of his lips began to travel up softly.
Suddenly, a heavy arm wrapped itself around me from behind, pulling me back against a hard chest, and Daryl's lips dropped down in a heartbeat. I smelled him, felt the soft, cool leather of his sleeve against the base of my throat and heard the deep tremor of his voice before I even had to look at who it was.
"Don't think I didn't see that. I thought I said no acknowledging anyone or have you forgotten our discussion already?" Negan's bristly cheek was against my temple, but he was talking to Daryl. "It's already strike one after this one's earlier stunt. Do you really wanna go for strike two?"
"No," he whispered after a long moment and brief look at my nervous face.
"Good boy," Negan answered. "Go help my men load up some trucks. You know the drill, dipshit, don't make me spell it out for you."
Daryl gave Negan one last hard look before breaking eye contact and stalking away. Negan watched him go and he lifted his head up slightly, his beard wiry against the side of my forehead. He leaned back a bit to look down at me and I raised my head up to match his gaze. He smiled.
"You know, I haven't gotten a very good tour of this place," he said, his arm still around my chest. "Rick did give me a quick circle around the first time I was here, but I got caught up dealing with other stupid bullshit that I didn't really get the chance to enjoy it. Wanna make it up to me?"
I nodded my head, knowing I couldn't say no and not trusting myself to speak.
"Splendid!" He gleamed as he squeezed his arm around me in thanks, the leather of his jacket squeaking with the strain. He turned me around to face Rick and the others who were still silently standing there and watching our interaction. Rick and Carl held the same stubborn, blue-eyed glare while Rosita quietly fumed at the ground, her chest falling up and down with her angry breathing. Spencer was nowhere to be found.
"If y'all don't mind, Everly here is gonna give me the grand Alexandrian tour. She's gonna show me all around her old home," he looked down at me with a slight smile. "Or at least the parts she remembers. Don't wait up."
He gave them all a wink as he led me past them, his shoulder roughly thumping Rick's as we walked by. They didn't look at me at all even though I risked the chance of looking at them. They choose instead to find an acute interest in the asphalt beneath their feet or something in the distance, resentment forming hard creases on their faces.
A low cloud of shame hovered over me, obstructing my senses. I could tell they were disappointed in me, possibly even angry, and I couldn't blame them. I was sure that I looked like an outright traitor, the way I had prevented Daryl from going over to them and then ignoring them after. If that hadn't been enough to get them second-guessing my loyalty, I was sure following Negan's orders and having him hang off of me was enough to convince them that I was no longer a part of them. I wasn't their family anymore and it broke my already fragmented heart.
Negan kept his arm protectively draped around me as we ventured farther into the neighborhood. I didn't say anything to him, keeping my eyes to the ground in front of me. I was too afraid to look up and see anyone else's shocked face of disapproval. I felt disgusted enough in myself to not have to see it mirrored in anyone else's gaze. I let him lead the way, his body a heavy weight on my shoulders.
"Where did you stay when you lived here?" He asked. We strolled at a leisurely pace like lovers on an early morning walk, a few guarding Saviors trailing behind us, and I screamed internally at what a sight we must be. He waved Lucille in a friendly gesture and greeted a good morning to someone I didn't dare to look up at.
"I stayed in the same house as Rosita, Abraham, and a few others. Abraham being one of the men you killed," I replied evenly. I could feel him fix me with a stare and he sighed.
"I lost people, too, a shit ton of them. Or has that escaped your memory? You speak as if you guys didn't start the whole damn thing," Negan spoke down to me and I rolled my eyes away from him, angry.
"We didn't start anything. You're men cornered four of us, demanded our supplies and then threatened to kill us. We were just defending ourselves," I lied, averting the blame onto him. Truth was that we had planned on taking all of them out. That initial confrontation with his men just happened to start the ball rolling and Hilltop provided the final kick.
"And yet, you guys decided it would be a good fucking idea to come back for more," Negan retorted in a discrediting tone. "You know, I could have looked past the fact that you all blew my mens' asses to chunks. I understand you acted defensively and maybe we could have worked something out, but the utter disregard for my peoples' lives thereafter…"
He stopped walking and pulled me to a stop. He took his arm from around me to grab my shoulder, making me face him. I looked up into his face with steely eyes and he regarded me with a hard expression. He took a threaten step forward, his hand firmly holding me in place as I involuntarily tried to move backward. He leaned down so his eyes were level with mine.
"You're fucking lucky I only killed two of you. Hell, I was planning on only killin' one of ya, but pretty boy Daryl went and fucked that shit up real quick," Negan paused, his eyes dancing back and forth with mine. "Don't stand there and look at me like I'm the bad guy here. Your people, your family, are just as much a gang of killers as we are. You lost the privilege to claim otherwise when you all snuck into that satellite outpost and murdered my men in their fucking sleep."
"I didn't do that," I lamely mumbled.
"It doesn't fucking matter who did it, it was your goddamn group. The only difference between us is that I work to make lives better for everyone else in this gaping wound of a world, and sure, I take a whole hell of a lot back seeing as it's my God-given right, but you selfish fucks only look to make life better for yourselves. Fuck anyone else who happens to be victim to it as well!"
"Bullshit! You're a fucking hypocrite!" I yelled at him, my enraged voice resonating down the street. In an instant, his hand formed a crushing grip around my bicep as he began to drag me back down the street at a much faster pace than we had walked before.
"Show me your house," he demanded, his eyes surveying the area furiously. I tried to yank my arm from his grasp as he marched me down the road, but he kept a fast grip, pushing me forward to lead. I almost told him no, and the vivid thought of throwing back my right hand to smack him across the face nearly became a reality before I remembered who he was and where I was at. I guided him to the driveway of my old house instead.
He pushed me up the stairs, stomping across the small porch and flinging open the front door to usher me inside. He slammed it shut behind us and stopped in the foyer to push me against the wall, Lucille puncturing the plaster next to me as he smacked her near my head. I shrunk back, working to catch my breath as I averted my eyes down to his waist, the metallic teeth of his unzipped jacket sharp and gleaming. I was tremoring as he leaned forward, his face slowly inching toward mine.
"I don't know who the hell you think you are, speaking to me the way you just did out in the spread eagle open for anyone to hear, but I'm letting you know now that shit will not fly," his voice was soft, but I heard the danger behind it. It covered me in goose bumps. "It was cute at first, but now it's gotten old. Do not attempt to make me look weak in front of these people, you don't control a goddamned thing. You had your fun. Now get…your shit…together…before I do something I know I'm gonna regret."
I tried to swallow, but my tongue was dry and my throat was thick with fear. I nodded once and whispered, "Okay… Okay."
Deliberately, he leaned back to stand erect and wrenched Lucille out of the wall, plaster fling out all over me. I let out a gasp, breathing in deeply to help myself calm down. He didn't move away from me, enjoying the process of me getting my shit together. At last, I swallowed down my pride and stood resolute, reluctantly meeting his scornful eyes. He fleetingly lifted his eyebrows up at me, Lucille safely propped up in her proper place on his shoulder, and reached a hand out to flick a piece of drywall off of my chest. I took a step back away from him toward the front door and began to dusty myself off.
He smirked as I ran my hands over my shirt and through my hair, only turning away when I was done. He walked into the open living room, examining everything around him. I decided to stay where I was at and crossed my arms over my chest to cover myself, and I looked around, too, taking in everything with dilated eyes. I had remembered it perfectly, not an object was out of place. It was bittersweet seeing it again and knowing I wouldn't be able to stay. Out of everything that he had put me through this seemed the most unfair.
Negan disappeared behind a far corner as he walked around, his heels echoing hollowly on the wooden floors as he went from room to room. I thought about bolting out the front door, but knowing his guarding Saviors, especially Arat, waited outside helped me make a better decision. I wouldn't even make it past the first step if I tried to run, and it would be pointless, anyway. No one here could help me. No one…
When he came back into the living room, he looked over it once more, tinkering with almost any little thing he could find. Finally, he spun around to look at me with a sigh, his eyes hooded with reproach. I studied him with a cautious stare, not sure what he would do next after batting a hole into a wall inches from my head. He held his arms out wide, gesturing for me to look around.
"You had a beautiful home," he said with a smile. "It's much more refined than your cot at the Sanctuary, that's for motherfucking sure."
When I stayed silent, he calmly walked over to me, stopping by my side with a purposeful squeak of his boots. He cocked his head as he looked down at me, furrowing his eyebrows as I peered up at him.
"I wanna see the rest of it. More specifically, I wanna see where you used to rest your weary, little head. I'm mighty curious… Why don't you lead the way?" Negan asked me and held out his gloved hand to the staircase.
I thought about refusing, Daryl's words the night I snuck into the infirmary to see him reverberating in my head. "Just because he didn't try anything with you then don't mean he won't later," he had reasoned with me and I realized all too suddenly that I was completely alone with one of the most dangerous and unpredictable men I had ever met.
His eyebrows furrowed again as I stood there, staring at him. His mouth started to move, forming a word as he tilted his head in askance.
"Wwweeeeeeell?" He drawled out.
Before I could get my synapses firing to even make an attempt to move my feet forward, I heard a series of heavy footsteps climbing up the stairs outside and treading across the porch to the front door. I turned just as Negan did and he let out a sound of exasperation as the door opened.
Rick walked in with Eugene and Carl who was carrying a smiling Judith on his hip. Dwight stepped in behind them with Daryl in tow, separating him from the others. They immediately noticed the hole in the wall, and I cast my eyes away from them as Judith babbled happily at me, showing me a toothy grin and completely oblivious to the world around her. I blinked rapidly to keep the forming tears at bay.
"Uh, excuse us, we don't mean to interlope on this…proceeding," Eugene voice was nervous as he looked from the wall to Negan, "but I thought I could give my welcome to my dear friend, Everly, if that would be permissible with you, Mr. Negan."
Negan let out a long, soft chuckle at Eugene's request, giving him a once over before totally disregarding him and looking over at Rick.
"How in the hell did you get past my guards?" He asked him lightly, a smile warming his tone. "Dwight?"
"I was told there were supplies in here. Brought Daryl along for company when the others followed. Apparently, they're in a top secret location," Dwight smirked at Eugene.
"It was of high priority that the items I have fashioned be in a position of upmost secrecy," Eugene spoke directly to Dwight. "I did not bust my rump for the better half of the month to have an unfortunate event ruin my work. Plus, I thought Mr. Negan would be appropriately pleased with my offerings."
Negan waved a hand at Eugene, clearly uninterested in him or his offerings at the moment. He then pierced Daryl with a look that clearly displayed his displeasure at seeing him with Rick and the others despite the coltish grin that adorned his face. "Do you dumbfucks not understand the meaning of 'don't wait up' or was it completely lost on you? This shit couldn't wait until later?"
"Well, actually, one can typically adduce the idiom 'don't wait up' is to express-" Eugene started emphatically.
"I know what the hell it means, Rain Man. I'm the one who said it!" Negan snapped at him. Eugene shut his mouth in response, looking back and forth between Negan and the hole in the wall. He shuffled nervously on his feet.
"As Dwight said, we have supplies here. Eugene is aware of where they're at, seeing as he's the one who secured them for you, so we tagged along," Rick responded, his eyes darting over to me momentarily. "We also just wanted to check up on you guys. Make sure you were getting a proper look around."
"Well, I was until you assholes barged in," Negan said, sliding his arm over my shoulders again. My face grew hot in embarrassment.
"Carl, why don't you take Judith on into the kitchen and get her a snack," Rick suggested and Carl obliged after a fleeting glare at Negan.
"Oooh! You're shooting daggers with that eye, son!" Negan smiled at him as he left the room.
"Negan," Rick began, his mouth open as he thought of what words to use, "would it be okay if I spoke with Daryl and Everly for a moment?"
Negan regarded him suspiciously, clicking his tongue as he did so. He looked at Daryl and then at me, his eyes lingering on my face. When he looked back to Rick, he threw his hands up in a shrug, "Alright, Prick. Say what you gotta say."
"I was thinking more along the lines of a private discussion," Rick said carefully.
"Well, that sure is asking for a lot," Negan refused with a distrustful smile. "My boy Daryl here's got a shit ton of work to do and Everly was doing just fine showing me around until you guys so rudely inter-fucking-rupted. I wanna be back at home by dinnertime if that's okay with you."
"I understand," Rick nodded, his voice humble, "but it'll only take a minute. I just wanna catch up with them to see that ev-"
"Catch up?" Negan cut him off. "The world ain't your condiment bar, Rick. You don't get to pick and choose when and how you get to talk to them, they aren't yours anymore. Christ, you barely get to choose what you do with your own shit stain of a life right now. Maybe, depending on how the rest of this day goes and if Daryl can do as he promised, I'll let you give them a farewell wave as we drive off, but for now, I don't want you around either of them. You or any other punk ass bitch in this town."
Rick swallowed hard, sniffing as he looked at the ground. His hands were on his hips and he bobbed a foot up and down in nervous anger. Finally, he nodded, making eye contact with Negan and slowly relenting. Eugene remained a statue with his eyes being the only thing about him to move, and Daryl appeared uncomfortable as well with Dwight still hovering at his side. Negan took a step forward.
"Actually, why don't you all make yourselves useful here," he intoned with a smile. "Make sure no other asshole comes in here while Everly and I go upstairs. You," he pointed at Daryl, "can go wait outside and keep your mouth shut and your eyes to the ground. Don't forget that I will be watching you. Or my men will, but really, what's the difference?"
Negan flashed a dazzling smile and put his hand on my waist, indicating for me to follow after him. I gave Rick a wide eyed stare, shaking my head and pleading with him silently to not think less of me. I walked clumsily to the stairs, Negan's fingers wrapped around my hip. He stopped once we reached the bottom step, turning to give the sullen men one last look before going up.
"What's that one idiom I'm thinking of, Mullet?" Negan asked Eugene. "How does it go…? Oh! Is it, if the bed's a rockin', don't come a knockin'? Is that the one I mean?"
He gave them all a wink as he pulled me up the stairs.
Hey! Sorry this was a day late, but life got in the way. I have to say that the previous episode was by far my favorite. I loved everything about it!
Many thanks to all my reviewers and a big welcome to any new readers! I'm glad you're here. :)
Edited by lolasskicker.