Ben takes my hand and leads me off somewhere. It's a field, beautiful, flowers blooming everywhere. We sit, watching the glow of the sun fade. Watching the darkness of nighttime take over. We watch the stars twinkle in the sky. It's beautiful. It just shows how in all darkness, there's always a little bit of light. I begin to feel better. I feel my face pull a smile. A real smile. Something I've not done in a while. For this moment I feel free. I don't feel conflict. I don't feel light or dark, for this moment, I'm blissfully lost in the stars of the universe. I lay my head on Ben's shoulders, he puts an arm around me. It's perfect. I'm so lost in this moment, and it's the only time lost has ever felt so good. "Thank you, Ben." I whisper. "For what?" Ben looks at me. "For helping me feel so much better." I sigh blissfully. "This, tonight has made me feel so much better. I don't want to leave this moment." "I don't either, but sadly we have to...it's time we get back. It's getting late."
I pout a little, kind of upset that we have to go back. Ben laughs at me, hugging me he says "don't worry, I will do this with you forever if I need to."
Giggling I hug him back, and we begin to walk back to the base. As we arrive, I have a bad feeling. Something is wrong. Very wrong. "Is it just me who's got a bad feelings?"
"Nope." Ben looks at me. "Something is definitely wrong."
We rush back, to find stormtroopers attacking the base. Gunfire everywhere. "Shit." I mutter. "Come on, we need to do something!" Ben and I grab our lightsabers. We activate them, and a bunch of troopers turn to face us. They all fire at us, but Ben uses the force to stop the bullets in mid air. We then attack the troopers, cutting them down, each and every one we come across. A voice calls over the war..."you shut me out...I will get my revenge."
Snoke. Shit. I knew it. He's angry, I left him, I felt a bit guilty. I've been left, it's not nice. Why did I do it to him? Ah, to do the right thing...but it doesn't seem 100% right. I abandoned someone...knowing full well what it did to me.
"I'm sorry..." I whisper under my breath. "If you are sorry, come to me." His voice boomed over the war-zone. "I can't...I shouldn't." "Don't listen to him Reyna. Please!" Ben pleads. He's got panic in his eyes. Pain. "Don't leave me."
I'm struck. I can't abandon Ben...not after all he's done to help me. I just can't. "Ignore him, join me, lead my army." Snoke taunts. I stand there, shocked, afraid, but I know what I have to do.
"No!" I say confidently. "I will not come back to you. You have lost me. I walk my own path. No one tells me how to live my life." "And that's a decision you will come to regret."
"Never. Never will I regret the good things I will do."
"Kill her." Smokes voice called out. It seems like all of a sudden troopers popped up everywhere, I stopped back, and bump into Ben. He grabbed me. "I won't let you die. Don't worry." Ben activated his lightsaber, with one arm around me, he positioned his lightsaber in front of me, as if to defend me. "Kylo..." smokes voice shouted "you are very stupid to leave me." "Kylo Ren is no longer here. Only Ben Solo."
"Well then, Ben Solo. Prepare to die." With that, the troopers started shooting us. Ben used the force to stop the bullets once more. It was time we fight. We attacked the troopers, taking them out, one by one. Leaving Snoke's army, smaller and smaller. We didn't care. We had to get rid of them, and him. Ben's concern is what Snoke will do to him. Will Snoke end up in his head? Will he twist him to give into the addiction, that is the dark side once more? Snoke decides he's got to retreat. He knows his entire army will die if he continues. He needs to become stronger.
As the troops leave, Ben sighs heavily. He's glad they're gone. "It won't be long until they're back..."
"I know..." I sigh "I really fucked up..."
"Don't ever say that!" Ben grabbed me to face him. "You didn't fuck up. You made the right choice. Don't ever try to go back to that. I'm fighting like hell to keep the darkness out. You can do the same."
I suddenly feel guilty. Almost like I made it about me, when I seem to forget that Ben is struggling too. I only thought about me. I've not even been there for Ben. I begin to feel worse. Useless, pathetic. I sigh heavily and walk away. "Hey! Where are you going?!" "Just need some space.."
"You seem to need a lot of space lately..."
"I'm sure you can understand..." "I need you right now Reyna!" Ben sounds desperate. "I really do, I'm feeling quite alone right now..."
I stare at him, silent, but scared to walk away. I've basically abandoned him. I'm going off for hours on end and Ben is left on his own to deal with the problems I promised to help with. I walk up to Ben, feeling awful, I just grab his face and kiss him. He kisses back, and as I pull away, I say "I'm sorry.." with a whisper "I should have been there..."
"It's okay, just be here now...please." Ben puts a hand on my cheek. "I need you now more than ever. I don't want to be alone.." "Then I will stay with you."
Ben leads me back inside the base. It's frantic from the attack. We meet with the others, they're worried. "I thought he died Ben." Rey challenges. "As did I." Ben replies. "How are we to defend ourselves! He wants you both!" Rey stresses. "Now we are all a target." "It's not like I fucking asked Snoke to come back from the dead and stalk me!" Ben rolls his eyes. "Ben!" Leia says sternly "language!" " well I'm not being blamed for something I didn't chose. I think the way I speak is the least of our problems right now!" Ben crosses his arms in defiance. "Enough.." I sigh. "Let's just focus on getting rid of Snoke, alright?!"
"Sheeeeesh...who pissed in her cornflakes this morning?!" Finn jokes. I look at him, with a face like thunder. He looked back, quite stunned but quickly became silent. I walk out of the room, nothing more said.
"Um is she okay?" Rey asks Ben "I'm guessing not." Ben says concerned. "I better go find her." Ben leaves the room, he finds me outside, just sitting there, thinking. My mind is racing. I realise I need to get rid of my red lightsaber. It's not helping me move passed the dark side. I take it off my hilt and dump it on the ground. I feel like I need a whole new revamp. That's exactly what I'm planning. "Are you alright?" Ben sits next to me.
"I'm going to change." I say confidently. "Whole new look, new lightsaber, the lot." "Will it help you?" "I think so"
Ben stays silent, unspoken. He's trying to support me, I know, but he isn't sure I'm doing it right. I can tell. I can see it in his eyes. It's written all over his face. Doubt takes over him. I know what he's thinking. Snoke wants me back, he knows Snoke will fight for it.