A huge demonic looking dragon climbed out of a huge volcanic crater. He was surrounded by a bunch of fairies of various colors.
On May 19th, 2011, Red Dragon Archfiend was asked to leave his place of residence.
A witch dressed in purple with long bat-like ears appeared behind the dragon, knocking him on the head with her staff and pointing him onward defiantly.
That request came from Fortune Lady Dark. Deep down, he didn't want to do this, but also knew that he felt compelled to help the Fortune monsters.
Red Dragon Archfiend eventually came to a land with grassy fields, with a lake, a town, and a forest off in the distance.
With nowhere else to go, Red Dragon Archfiend appeared in the domain of Ancient Fairy Dragon. If this who scenario wasn't already completely stupid, I'd complain that a dragon as scary looking as him should have been barred from this cutesy and happy section of the Duel Spirit World and told to never return.
Red Dragon Archfiend arrived at the lake where Ancient Fairy Dragon was playing with Kuribon and other tiny Duel Spirits.
Can two normally awesome and cool looking dragons act out of character and silly in this unfunny sitcom without driving Keldeo the Critic crazy?
. . .
Nah, Keldeo's doomed.
BOOOOOM!
A black wall was blown apart by Keldeo's Focus Blast.
No matter what we say or do,
Keldeo activated his Secret Sword and swung it, causing the screen to burst.
It's never up to me and you,
Victini rose into the air, his ears glowing with the power of V-Create.
We smile now and sing a cheer!
Keldeo and Santa Paws screamed in horror as huge burst of dark purple energy erupted in front of them.
Ghost Pony Rider roared.
Kyurem and Cryogonal the Critics both screamed as a zombie Lucario with a chainsaw appeared on their TV.
Keldeo screamed in horror, but sprayed himself with water to snap out of it.
Imperator Justinian was seated behind a desk in his study, with Keldeo standing on the other side.
The show must go on!
"FORESHADOWING!" Munna exclaimed.
"NO SHIP, SHERLOCK!" the Intoxiquer shouted.
"SPOILERS!" Zorua exclaimed.
The show must go on!
Jack Storm sprung awake in shock.
Matthais Unidostres and BrickBrony1894 bro-hoofed.
Meloetta sat down with Madoka the Fennekin and Damian the Meloetta on either side of her.
A Greninja stood ominously next to a Lucario with red Aura.
Keldeo and Ryan the Lucario fought on a cliff top, Secret Sword and Bone Rush clashing over and over.
Never fear . . .
Button Mash and Sweetie Belle bonked heads as they tried playing Wonderbolt Free Fliers.
Keldeo burst out of the ice encasing him in an explosion of light.
The show! Will! Go! On!
Keldeo reared up on his hind legs, his expression serious and his Secret Sword raised and glowing brightly.
Keldeo the Critic
Season 4 Episode 9: The Dragons by Who dunit why I dunit
tinyurl: nlcy3vm
"It's me! Keldeo the Critic! I review it so you don't have to!" Keldeo said. He smiled and said, "Let's talk about Yu-Gi-Oh 5Ds."
The theme-song Hyperdrive played as Keldeo discussed the show.
"Of all the Yu-Gi-Oh series, 5Ds has to be the most serious,the most thought provoking, and the deepest of them all. Of course, all the Yu-Gi-Oh series are amazing and have complex characters, great humor, awesome monsters, and rich story lines that weave together into pure epicness."
Keldeo tilted his head thoughtfully and grinned, "However; the characters, backstories, plots, and even the duels and monsters themselves in 5Ds have a certain something special that sticks out. The main cast of 5Ds is more diverse in terms of personality, age, and even gender. In addition, instead of it just being Yugi who does everything, 5Ds often has all six main characters having an active role in the story, making it easier to loose yourself in their world. Yusei is a really good primary character that connects all the other characters well, and the part dark-dystopian-cyberpunk part bright-futuristic setting is so imaginative and drawing."
"So, as you can imagine, 5Ds has tons of amazing fanfiction focusing on the interactions between these amazing characters."
Keldeo tapped his snout with his left forehoof and said, "But do you know what kind of draws some fanfiction authors and readers? The mane character's dragons. Maybe it was the story arc focusing on Luna's Ancient Fairy Dragon complete with an adventure in the Duel Spirit World. The world of Duel Monsters has been explored before, but never to the extent of the story arc in 5D's. After seeing Ancient Fairy get an actual character along with actual voice acting, that sent a whole bunch of fanfic writers creating stories not about Yusei and the other Signer duelists, but about the dragons interacting in the Duel Spirit World."
Keldeo smiled and said, "Personally, I believe that this is because of the tight knit friendship, character interactions, and clashes of personality between the Singers; and how that might diffuse over to their dragons, given that the cannon has already given one of them a unique personality, so giving personalities to the other five wouldn't be that hard."
Keldeo shrugged and said, "I mean, hey! Matthais has already written a couple of stories about these dragons."
Keldeo waved his hooves quickly and said, "No, no, no. This isn't a shameless plug for Matthais' old fanfiction. Lots of other authors have written dragon focused fanfiction. Like Fate of the Fifth Dragon by Phoenix Ride, The Roar of the Dragon by dude overdrived, Quiet's Call by I am Lu . . . or this one right here:"
The Dragons
By: Who dunit why I dunit
Red Dragon Archfiend has babysitting duty. So he goes to the wise Ancient Fairy Dragon for help. Can he survive his small crush on the female dragon or will he just crash and burn?
Keldeo nodded thoughtfully, a curious expression on his face. "This sounds interesting. Kind of like Matthais would have written a while ago. So, is it any good?"
Keldeo stood still there for a moment with a hopeful smile on his face, then he frowned and said, "No. It isn't good. This fanfic is bad. Oh yeah, it stinks real bad. I mean, like, I mean, really bad. It just..."
Keldeo clenched his teeth as he began ranting angrily, "It's so stupid! I could hardly stand reading it! It's so horrible! Why did Matthais make me do this?! I-."
30 Minutes Later. . .
Keldeo lay on the ground, his fore hooves covering his face. He gave a loud sigh, and uncovered his somber looking face.
"It's a sitcom," Keldeo muttered, "Just an unfunny sitcom. Remember how frustrated I got with hte Lucas and Maylene Show during my review of Breaking the Chains by Aura Wielder? Well, that's The Dragons in a nutshell. The jokes either fall flat or make no sense, and the quote unquote 'characters' have very bland characterization. They're more like stereotypes of their human owners than their own actual characters. It almost punishes you for liking Yu-Gi-Oh 5Ds in the first place by soiling it with all the lame sitcom stereotypes you'd expect to find on ICarly or The Thundermans."
Keldeo got back up on his hooves and said, "But hey! You don't have to take my word for it! I'll just show you right now! This is The Dragons!"
A/N: Please do not read if you haven't seen the end of the Ark Cradle Arc, I am not responsible for you reading spoilers and hating me for it. Thank you.
Keldeo groaned, "Oh great. Reading."
*Ding!*
Sin Counter: 1
Just a large one-shot that I wrote when I thought about what the Signer Dragons went through after all being separated at the end of the series. Then it sort of twisted into me picking on Red Dragon Archfiend. Then it turned into a romantic thing between six of the Dragons. Then more picking on Red Dragon Archfiend.
Also Red Dragon Archfiend makes a comment about 'two moons ago' a moon is a month, so he's saying 'two months ago'.
The Dragon's personality's, with the exception of Ancient Fairy Dragon and Life Stream Dragon I based on their Signer.
"And when I say, 'based on,' I mean I just boiled their characters down into their most basic levels and slapped them on the dragons like a random Equip Spell."
Ergo, Black Winged Dragon has a rivalry with Red Dragon Archfiend. Black Rose Dragon cares for Stardust, who tends to take care of her and want to protect her. Life Stream Dragon on the other hand takes more of a motherly character who loves to protect and watch over Leo, which is shown in the Anime whenever Leo is harmed.
Keldeo stood with a straight face at this.
"Wow," he finally said, "You're really proud of Rule 63ing Life Stream, aren't you? I mean, you didn't even wait for the story to begin to let us know that he's a girl in this story."
Keldeo sighed, "And before I get a bunch of people telling me that Life Stream's gender is never specified, you have to realize that with the other five signers, their gender and each of their dragon's gender is the same. So why should it be any different with Leo and Life Stream?"
Ancient Fairy Dragon is also very motherly towards her, as Red Dragon calls them 'brood', small group of Duel Monsters that she watches. Red Dragon Archfiend seems to be more brutal then the other Dragon's but is loyal and you do see this.
Also even though this is a one-shot I am more then willing to continue writing if you want to know more. So write back with anything you want me to write.
Keldeo smiled, his tail actually swinging back and forth with excitement. "Oh really! Anything I want you to write!? Okay then! Write about this: *ahem!* What in the heck were you possibly thinking when you made this terrible lame sitcom fanfic?!"
Keldeo suddenly jumped off the rock platform he was standing on and dunked his face in the cool shallow water. Keldeo came back up for air and said, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. This story is just so . . . bleck. . ."
Count Bleck: "Bleh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh! Bleck!"
"Shut up!" Keldeo shouted.
Disclaimer: Yugioh 5D's does not belong to me. Otherwise The Series would not have ended the way it did. *Grumbles about Yusei and Aki's last meeting. (Should have kissed her, what are you Yusei? Gay! ?)*
Keldeo shrugged, "I liked the way the series ended, but I'm not gonna talk about it here. Speaking of endings though, why don't we hurry up so we can get to the ending of this fanfic!"
"You will do it if you don't want to be horribly murdered." Scowled a purpled haired Fortune Lady, glaring up at the dragon who refused to budge.
"And why should I?" growled the red dragon who looked down and huffed into Darky's hair.
"Because if you don't, I will have my sisters horribly murder you." Darky said with a smug smirk.
Red Dragon Archfiend scowled down at the Fortune Lady, surrounded by Fortune Fairies. This happened every few weeks in the Spirit World. The Fortune Ladies would rope Darky into telling Red Dragon to babysit while they go off and do, well whatever it is that they do.
"Stop! Stop! Stop!" Keldeo shouted, waving his fore hooves wildly, "This fanfic starts out in the most stupid way possible for a number of reasons."
"First of all, death threats, at Duel Monsters at least, really don't mean anything in the Yu-Gi-Oh universe. Monsters get sent to the Graveyard all the time. They get brought back to life all the time, either by some kind of card effect or by simply being shuffled back into the deck after one duel ends and another duel begins. What is the context of this threat? Is it a joke because they know they can't die? Is it more of a threat to send him to the Graveyard for a while through a painful attack? Or do the Evil!Twilight Sparkle and friends know some special way of killing Duel Monsters permanently? If they do, that would be pretty stupid, seeing as if it wasn't for Red, the world would have been destroyed!"
"Second of all, how could these Equestria Girl rejects kill Red Dragon Archfiend?"
"And third, why the hay are they asking a giant, demonic looking dragon with the word fiend in his name to babysit fairies? I guess I understand the author's thought process. Jack Atlas cares a lot about Carly, and Carly is the owner of the Fortune monsters, so it makes sense that Red Dragon and the Fortune monsters would be friendly. . . but still. .. babysit fairies? You have a dragon called Ancient Fairy Dragon, and you walk right past her and talk to the Archfiend?"
Button Mash: "WHAT WERE THEY THINKING!?"
His domain wasn't exactly the river valley the Ladies called home, in fact it was much more mountainous and ominous looking. He lived at the top of the mountains and could watch all of the other Signer Dragons.
From Stardust and Black Rose who cuddled in the Rose Domain on the other side of the Ancient Forest.
To Life Stream and Black Winged Dragon who played with Savior Dragon on the edge of his domain and the forest.
He could even stalk, 'I watch to make sure her brood is safe!' he growls to Savior Dragon, Ancient Fairy Dragon in the middle of her forest, watching over her little brood.
"Well that's a creepy image," Keldeo said, looking a little creepy out himself, "A huge demonic looking dragon stalking the smaller, gentler dragoness. And wait a minute, Savior Dragon? That's the Japaneses name for Majestic Dragon! Sure, I know a lot of fanifc writers use the Japanese names in their fanfics, like Aki for Akiza, Rua for Leo, and Ruka for Luna. But at least their consistent and use all Japanese names. In this story, all the names are the English version except for Majestic Dragon's name. Why?! Did you get confused or something? It's called a Wikia. Use it!"
"There is nothing you can say that will make me watch the brats." Red Dragon said and moved his wings as if to take off.
"Let me guess, the Fairies are going to give him puppy dog eyes," Keldeo said in deadpan.
"Mr. Archfiend isn't going to watch us?" said a young voice, and he growled out and looked down.
Fortune Fairy Hikari sat looking up at him with her yellow eyes as she sniffed.
Red Dragon scowled, pissed off that he had such a weak side for the young ones. The other Fairies stared up at him with sad eyes.
Abridged!Freiza: "Well, I sure hope somebody-"
"Not worth it," Keldeo muttered as she knocked the scene away with his forehoof. "Also, if we guess the jokes before they happen, can we make the fanfic go faster?" Keldeo asked hopefully.
"Well actually, two of the fairies don't resort to such tactics."
All but Ann and Chee.
Chee he didn't know what she looked like behind her glasses. Ann just scowled up at him with her mother's face.
"And in case you're wondering, no, this never comes into play again. You'd think Chee would wander off or Ann would cause trouble, maybe make Red look bad in front of Ancient Fairy, but no, it's a completely pointless detail," Keldeo explained.
Red Dragons face changed from a scowl to a frown, knowing he had lost. He looked up at Darky who grinned.
"Well, I see their just fine. I'll find you tomorrow then!" She said smugly as she took off for her valley.
"Where are you even going?!" Keldeo asked desperately, "Why do you need a babysitter in the first place? Are you gonna go fight someone or get your hair done? I mean, sure, I don't really care about you as a character, but at the very least you need to be an actual character and not just a soulless plot device."
"Get on; I refuse to watch you alone." He growled out as was custom to when they came.
They all grinned up at him, knowing they were going to go see the 'nice dragon with the fun playmates' as they liked to describe Ancient Fairy and her brood.
And before you go and think Red Dragon is infatuated with Ancient Fairy, know he's not.
Yes he may stalk her, which he does deny.
Yes he may care for her brood, which he says he only does because she's not physically strong enough to protect them.
Yes he may chase off the stronger of spirits that Regulus can't defeat, he says its good practice.
"And yes, this joke isn't funny at all and is so bad that the Narrator from Rocky and Bullwinkle is punching himself in the face, repeatedly."
"So he finally goes to where Ancient Fairy lives where we partake in a bland sitcom conversation that actually makes me miss the Lucas and Maylene Show," Keldeo said in a bored tone.
"Hello Archy, it has been a while since I saw you last." Ancient Fairy said looking up as he touched down on the ground near her.
"Don't call me that." He growled out as the Fairies raced off his back and under Ancient Fairy. "Besides you saw me not two moons ago."
He then moved to sit down and closed his eyes. Ancient Fairy shook her head at one of her old friends. Then smiling down at the small duel monsters she watched over, she nudged them towards Regulus.
After watching them run off she took to sitting in front of Red Dragon. "Stardust and Black Rose are together."
"Yes they are." Red Dragon said opening his eyes to glare at her.
"Did you know that they-" Red Dragon cut her off.
"That their expecting? Yes I do, three little hatchlings they'll no doubt wish for me to watch." He growled out.
Somewhere in the Rose Domain.
Black Rose lifted her head from underneath Stardust's and growled.
"Yes love?" Stardust asked rubbing the side of her neck with his forehead.
"For some reason I feel like murdering Red Dragon." She hissed out.
Keldeo blinked in confusion, "What the heck? How'd we get here?"
Stardust laughed and licked her cheek. "Since when haven't you felt like murdering him?"
Black Rose just sighed. "Don't worry love, just get some sleep." He told her, and she lowered her head and tucked it underneath his again.
"When I wake up, I'm finding him." She vowed as she closed her eyes.
Stardust hummed in content. "I wouldn't expect any less from you." He told her.
Back in the Ancient Forest
"Well, why wouldn't they? You are technically the hatchlings uncle." Ancient Fairy told him, and he scoffed.
"Those over there practically view me as their uncle. It's annoying." He grumbled glaring at the little Fairies.
"O-kay, now we're back in the Forest," Keldeo said awkwardly, "That scene was kind of pointless. I mean, come on, how short was that?"
"You should feel glad." Ancient Fairy said softly as she laid down next to him. "But besides that how is…" she trailed off when she realized she didn't know where his card was at the moment.
"Nazca, Peru." Red Dragon mentioned. "Master went there to search for some answers."
"His mother?" Ancient Fairy asked.
"Yes. Or at least clues to her life." He answered. "Next he's going to Sydney, Australia and the outback. To search for clues about his father and where he lived." Then he looked at her "How is London?"
"It is fine. Luna and Leo seem to love it. Though they do miss everyone else." She answered. "Life Stream also likes London; she prefers to stay close to Leo though."
"She always had a soft spot for him didn't she?" Red Dragon muttered.
"I'm not sure when he became a girl all of a sudden, or why you need to be female to have a soft spot for someone, but I don't suppose it matters now."
"Of course. We all have a soft spot for our Masters and Mistress's." Ancient Fairy said to him.
"You and Stardust have special bonds with your Masters do you not?" She asked looking over at the brood of children with a smile on her face.
Red Dragon refused to analogize that she looked beautiful, and looked away. "That we may. But it's not like you can't bond with Savior if you didn't want to."
Ancient Fairy looked at him. "Did you just compliment me Archy?" she asked him with a small grin.
"Don't call me that Faye!" Red Dragon said using her dreaded nickname, "And you were chosen by the Crimson Dragon for a reason. That reason was not to be a weakling like Black Wing."
Somewhere on the edge of the Ancient Forest and Mountain Domain.
"Grr." Black Wing growled he glared down at the kill he and Life Stream were sharing.
"Yes?" Life Stream asked as she looked at him, not at all concerned as this was a normal occurrence.
"I have the urge to suddenly battle Red Dragon." Black Wing growled out.
Keldeo's eyebrows rose,"Wha-? Now we're thousands of miles away again? What is going on? Why are we going to the other characters whenever their name is mentioned? Maybe if they had something to do with the main plot I could excuse it, but no, it's all totally pointless. This is more like something Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged would do!"
Abridged!Red Dragon Archfiend: "Did I mention how much better my voice is compared to Black Wing?"
Menawhile, thousands of miles away. . .
Abridged!Black Wing: "Speaking of awesome singing voices."
Abridged!Life Stream: "Who's speaking of awesome singing voices."
Abridged!Black Wing: "Nobody, but now that you mention it: SPONGE PANTS SQUARE BOB! HE'S A FRIENDLY LITTLE GUY!"
"Save? Savior?" Savior Dragon asked him, looking up from her dinner of berries.
"Don't worry Savior, he does this often." Life Stream said and glared at Black Wing as if to say 'How dare you worry her!'
"Wait, what?!" Keldeo said in shock.
"Save? Savior?" Savior Dragon asked him, looking up from her dinner of berries.
"Why is Savior, er, Majestic, er, WHATEVER her name is! Why is she saying her name over and over again like a Pokemon? She's not a Pokemon! What's the point of making her talk like a Pokemon? Was it supposed to be funny? It doesn't look like it was supposed to be a joke, so what's the point?"
"Sorry Savior, go back to your dinner." Black Wing told the young dragon, and she complied.
"Now why do you want to battle him?" Life Stream asked of him, going back to her dinner.
"I suddenly got the feeling he thinks I'm weaker than him." Black Wing muttered darkly.
Life Stream blinked at him. "You are weaker than him. Go back to dinner, and get rid of any ideas of your going to duel him. I refuse to let you."
Black Wing pouted at her. "You always ruin my fun!" he complained.
"You always ruin my relaxing dinners." She retorted. "Now get back to it."
"BANG! ZOOM! To the moon, Life Stream! . . . Not sure why you're female all of a sudden, but still, POW! RIGHT IN THE KISSER!"
"Meanwhile back in Smaug and Maleficent's rendition of The Odd Couple, they continue to talk about everything and nothing at the same time, if that makes any sense."
"But as you know. Heart and Soul cannot be separated easily. While Wings and Soul can."
Red Dragon huffed. "I know the legend just as well as you do Faye. The Crimson Dragon made sure all of us knew of the legends. Back when we were hatchlings ourselves remember?"
"Oh yes, I remember. I also remember you and Black Wing fighting and I could barely hear anything." She teased of him.
"Stardust and Black Rose were flirting right next to you. How you could hear anything shocked everyone." Red Dragon muttered back.
"Remember Life Stream and Savior?" Ancient Fairy asked.
"Yes annoying, kept trying to play pranks on you and I." He answered her.
Keldeo shifted on his hooves and said seriously, "Okay, now, this is interesting. The early lives of the six dragons is interesting. I'm sure we'd all love to see these dragons interact as children. Unfortunately, the story doesn't go into any detail. I mean, can't we at least get a flash back to them all in a nest playing around and making jokes. Maybe a romance joke between Stardust and Black Rose? Maybe Red's reaction when Life Stream and Savior/Majestic play a prank on them? Now that would have been funny, and would have provided some good character development."
Keldeo frowned and said, "But nope! Instead we get this vague reminiscing. Why?! Why can't we actually see them as hatchlings? If this is supposed to be a comedic story, then why did the author skip over an easy opportunity for some genuinely funny comedy? Why couldn't you just put in a flashback? Why didn't you just replace one of these pointless cutaway gags with it?"
In the Rose Domain.
Black Rose growled yet again as Stardust rose to go hunting. "I'm killing Red Dragon later after we eat." She muttered aloud.
"I wouldn't expect anything less of you." Stardust said and licked the top of her head.
"Don't laugh at me, I will murder him." She muttered darkly pouting at her mate.
"Why?" he asked with a small laugh.
"I don't know why I just am." She said tucking her head into her nest as to avoid Stardust.
"And there's the whole fanfic in a nutshell!" Keldeo said in an almost comedic manner, holding his left fore-hoof out as if presenting something, "That shows how empty and pointless these characters are- no, they're not characters. They don't count as characters. They're just those cardboard cutouts with speakers inside of them, and the prerecorded lines that comes out of those speakers are loosely based on what the human Signers might say. I'm actually amazed that the author admitted it like this. Why does Black Rose want to kill Red? Not even she knows! Why did Fortune Lady Dark make Red watch the fairies? No one knows! Why is Majestic Dragon called Savior Dragon and talks like a Pokemon? No one knows!"
Keldeo stomps his hooves and said, "Nobody knows why anyone is doing anything in this story. And that is why this story FAILS!"
Back in the Ancient Forest.
Ancient Fairy looked at him before smiling softly. "Could it be, that you're jealous Archy?" she asked him.
"What?" He nearly screeched. "Of course I'm not, who needs love like those fools!"
Ancient Fairy smiled at his poorly hidden attempt to throw her off. "If you wish to see it that way, then I'm fine with that." She smiled then licked his head. "And I'm willing to wait for you to admit it to yourself."
She then moved up to help Regulus getting the small duel monsters to take a nap.
Red Dragon just huffed embarrassed that she had once again seen straight through him. Sighing he shook his head and laid it on the ground and watched her, before closing his eyes.
After a few minutes he wrenched his head back up and roared "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'LL WAIT!"
WAH-WAH-WAH-WAAAAAHHHHHHH!
Keldeo smiled and shrugged.
Then he sighed and said in a voice filled with relief, "And with that. . . Big 'WHAT?!' joke, the fanfic finally ends. Good. I didn't think I could take any-."
In the Rose Domain
Black Rose blinked as she heard the roar faintly. "Do you think Ancient Fairy told him yet?" she asked Stardust who landed besides her with their meal in his jaw.
Setting down their dinner he grinned. "Probably, but knowing his thick head he didn't get it."
Black Rose grinned. "You can be evil. I like it."
Stardust just licked her cheek. "If it makes you happy." He told her and nuzzled her again.
Keldeo blinked, then nodded slowly and said, "Okay. Now it's the end of the fan-."
Near the edge of the Ancient Forest and Mountain Domain.
"She told him." Black Wing sighed as he stretched out next to Life Stream.
"And he's being an idiot again." Life Stream commented as she laid her head over Black Wings and closed her eyes. "Sleep now, I'll gossip with her later to see what happened."
Black Wing sighed "Of course love." He said closing his eyes as well.
Keldeo's left eye twitched, and he said, "I still can't get over Life Stream being female, but whatever! Fine! At least now it's finally ov-"
In the Mountain Domain.
Savior lay on Red Dragon's throne, giggling to herself about Red Dragons distress.
She couldn't wait to tell her Mistress of this new predicament.
"OH! MY! GOSH!" Keldeo exclaimed, "This is just sad! This is pathetic! You are really trying to get at least one laugh. Anything, any measly little chuckle you can think of. I mean, really; you're trying everything! You're trying every single last-minute gag you can think off just to get a chuckle out of us. You are that desperate for us to like something in this fanfic!"
Keldeo reared up on his hind legs and shouted, "Well you know what?! Desperate is the perfect word to describe this fanfic! It throws every sarcastic comment, every over-used ironic narrator routine, every tired cutaway gag, and every stupid bickering couple Trope in the sad hopes of getting a laugh... and I can honestly say that I never laughed once during this fanfic! Not even a single grin! It's structured horribly, the characters are constructed horribly, and not only does it have little to do with the Anime, but it's also an insult to the Anime. Imagine how Yusei and his friends would react if they saw this mockery!?"
Leo: "WHY IS LIFE STREAM DRAGON A GIRL!?"
Luna: "Forget that, Leo! Why does Ancient Fairy Dragon have a crush on Red Dragon Archfiend! Eww! That's gross."
Crow: "Heh. When you think about it, that's actually kind of creepy for you. Isn't it, Jack! Heh-heh!"
Jack: "What!? Are you insinuating-? HOW DARE YOU! Well at least he's not a Subserveint Chicken like Black Winged!"
Crow: "Watch you big mouth, Jack!"
Leo: "WHY IS LIFE STREAM DRAGON A GIRL!?"
Yusei: "I wonder why everyone wants Red Dragon Archfiend dead?"
Akiza: "How does a plant even lay eggs?"
Leo: "WHY IS LIFE STREAM DRAGON A GIRL!?"
Crow: "Heh-heh. Hey Yusei? I was kinda wondering. Did your dragons wait for you and Akiza or did you all-?"
Yusei and Akiza: "CROW!"
Leo: "WHY IS LIFE STREAM DRAGON A GIRL!?"
Keldeo landed hard as he fell back on all four hooves.
"The six dragons of Yu-Gi-Oh 5Ds are awesome monsters. They're like the Dark Magician, or Blue Eyes White Dragon, or Elemental Hero Neos, or Yubel. They're awesome and have their own unique styles and characters, even if only one of them ever talked. This fanfic does not represent who or what they are at all. Now, it's not just because its comedic, there's nothing wrong with putting a humorous spin on things. Even the actual Anime liked to go the silly route ever once in a while, like in Episode 114- Operation: Capture Yeager II! But what this Fanfic failed at was characterization. The Fortune monsters were just plot devices that served no other purpose but to get Red to move, Red himself is just your standard stalker-obsessive-tough guy in denial cliche, Ancient Fairy is as bland as vanilla yogurt, and all the other dragons are a combination of grumbling grouches and lovesick mush balls."
Keldeo tossed up his hooves and said, "And the author didn't even have to really work that hard to give these dragons character! If he wanted to be lazy, all he had to do was copy and paste the Signers personalities onto the dragons and that's it. That would have been better than this blandness. These dragons aren't funny, smart, or even quirky. And not even the romances are touching. I've read PAW Patrol fanfics with more touching romance stories that have fewer words than this story. I will still always love these dragons, but only when some element of care and effort is put in to giving them character. I don't see any effort in this fanfic, so I don't see the Six Servants of the Crimson Dragon."
"So, I suggest you check out the other three fanfics I mentioned earlier, and pass this story up," Keldeo said with certainty, and he turned and left saying, "I'm Keldeo the Critic, and I review it so you don't have to."
The End
Credits
The Odd Couple
Super Paper Mario
The Honeymooners
Nostalgia Critic: Inspector Gadget
Nostalgia Critic: Garfield
Yu-Gi-Oh! Abridged by LittleKuriboh/CardGamesFTW
Dragon Ball Z Abridged
Specail Thanks
Yu-Gi-Oh! Wikia
Aura Weilder