The fanfic starts off like this.
In this same cliched manner.
Just as all these kinds of fanfics do.
Just a couple of short sentences.
They include thought provoking questions, don't they?
Do they make sense?
Are they worth asking?
We then move on to see our main characters going through something that is normally commonplace, like watching Clemont build an invention.
Clemont was wearing a welding mask, working hard as spark flew from his blowtorch. He soon finished, turned off his blow torch, and lifted up his welding mask and smiled. "My Automatic Pokemon Grooming Device is complete," he said softly.
As Clemont says his usual catchphrase which has become a prominent feature of the show due to its constant repetition, we purposely break it up with shots of other characters being extra forlorn or thoughtful for some unexplained reason to create some dramatic tension.
"The future is now. . ."
From where she sat, Bonnie looked up at her brother with vague disinterest as she petted Dedenne.
". . . thanks to science. . ."
Ash and Pikachu looked on with adoration in their eyes, enchanted by the utter indescribable amazingness of science.
". . . Clemontic Gear. . ."
Serena gave Clemont a quick look, but then quickly turned back to stare at Ash. She sighed as she was once again completely overcome with unconditional love for the boy from Pallet Town, as she usually was.
". . .ON!" Clemont shouted as he stood proudly before his newest invention.
After we focus on the over dramatized scene which we built around this catchphrase, we create an emotional punch by utilizing a shocking, heart-wrenching twist as the climax to this scene. That moment is set off by a routine that is normally harmless in the show, but for some reason suddenly becomes a matter of life and death in the confines of this fanfic.
BOOOOOM!
Clemont's invention exploded, sending shrapnel everywhere. When the smoke cleared, Serena was the first to get up. She shrieked in horror when she saw Clemont lying on the ground with huge shards of shrapnel in his chest.
We now focus on a single character, only barely acknowledging the existence of the others, so that we may take a look into the inner psyche of that one character.
Serena's mind was sent reeling as her eyes widened in horror. This can't be happening, Clemont was supposed to become a great gym leader and make things up to Luxray for abandoning him!
"What- what can we do?!" Serena stammered out.
"Nothing."
Serena turned around fast to see Braixen walking towards her with her wand drawn.
"Wha-?" Serena gasped.
In explanation of the scene occurring, we see some vague quotes from the anime in italics.
Once a Pokemon evolves, it is never again the same.
Braixen smiled deviously.
Not only does their body change, but their personalities tend to as well. Sometimes, they lose who they were and become something totally new.
"You sabotaged Clemont's invention?!" Serena gasped.
"Yes," Braixen said with a smirk.
"But why!? You'd never do something like that!" Serena exclaimed.
Braixen closed her eyes and shook her head, chuckling darkly. "Yes. Fennekin would never do that." Braixen opened her eyes and bared her teeth at Serena. "But I'm not Fennekin anymore, aren't I? Sure, I spent my entire early life building memories and connections with you and your friends, but due to a change in the size and shape of my body, I've decided to completely ignore ALL of that and pretend it just doesn't apply to me! I'm completely, totally, one hundred percent different now."
Braixen raised her wand as her entire body burned with intense fire.
"And the opposite of what Fennekin would do right now, would be to kill you!" Braixen snarled.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Serena screamed.
"CUT!"
All the actors stopped and turned to Keldeo, who had shouted through a megaphone and was wearing a director's beret.
"Okay, everybody. Lunch!" Keldeo announced.
Ash, Serena, and Bonnie took off their costumes, revealing themselves to be Jessie, James, and Meowth. Meowth was using his Dedenne puppet again. Clemont turned into Luke's Zorua, Pikachu turned into Zorua, and Braixen turned into Zoroark.
Keldeo smiled, and turned to speak to a man dressed in an outfit similar to Red's.
"Mr. Wunner, I just-," Keldeo began.
"Please, just call me Gen," the man said with a grumpy expression.
"Oh, okay then. Gen, I am so honored that you asked me to direct your movie."
"You're welcome," Gen Wunner said, "I'm glad I have help in making something that shows how inferior Generation VI is to Generation I."
Keldeo nodded, "Yeah, yeah, sure. Well, I'm gonna just go enjoy my break, and I'll be back soon enough. Heh-heh. So. . . um. . . later!"
Keldeo quickly dashed away.
Gen Wunner narrowed his eyes at Keldeo, but was distracted when Meowth suddenly called out, "Hey, when do we get paid!"
The man tossed up a Pokeball, and Meowth suddenly found himself under a Snorlax.
BOOOOOM!
A black wall was blown apart by Keldeo's Focus Blast.
No matter what we say or do,
Keldeo activated his Secret Sword and swung it, causing the screen to burst.
It's never up to me and you,
Victini rose into the air, his ears glowing with the power of V-Create.
We smile now and sing a cheer!
Keldeo and Santa Paws screamed in horror as huge burst of dark purple energy erupted in front of them.
Ghost Pony Rider roared.
Kyurem and Cryogonal the Critics both screamed as a zombie Lucario with a chainsaw appeared on their TV.
Keldeo screamed in horror, but sprayed himself with water to snap out of it.
Imperator Justinian was seated behind a desk in his study, with Keldeo standing on the other side.
The show must go on!
"FORESHADOWING!" Munna exclaimed.
"NO SHIP, SHERLOCK!" the Intoxiquer shouted.
"SPOILERS!" Zorua exclaimed.
The show must go on!
Jack Storm sprung awake in shock.
Matthais Unidostres and BrickBrony1894 bro-hoofed.
Meloetta sat down with Madoka the Fennekin and Damian the Meloetta on either side of her.
A Greninja stood ominously next to a Lucario with red Aura.
Keldeo and Ryan the Lucario fought on a cliff top, Secret Sword and Bone Rush clashing over and over.
Never fear . . .
Button Mash and Sweetie Belle bonked heads as they tried playing Wonderbolt Free Fliers.
Keldeo burst out of the ice encasing him in an explosion of light.
The show! Will! Go! On!
Keldeo reared up on his hind legs, his expression serious and his Secret Sword raised and glowing brightly.
Keldeo the Critic
Season 4 Episode 11: Sacrifice by The Great NeoDragon
tinyurl: ndssb5t
"It's me! Keldeo the Critic! I review it so you don't have to!" Keldeo said.
He smiled and said, "This fanfic was suggested to me because it was good. And after the first reading, yes, it was good."
Keldeo's smiled slipped just a little and said, "Emphasis on after the first reading."
Sacrifice
By: The Great NeoDragon
What will a pokemon sacrifice for the life of its trainer? There are some fates worse than death.
"This does sound like a good fanfic. A heart-wrenching tale of a Pokemon giving his all for his Trainer out of love and devotion. Sounds just run of the mill for emotional fanfics."
Keldeo tapped his chin and said, "However, there's a certain. . . issue with this fanfic that needs to be addressed. So, let's get right down to it. This is Sacrifice!"
It had been just a normal day, another adventure.
But within a flash, his world shrank to dust.
What would a pokemon give so his trainer could survive?
Would he give his life?
Would he give up something more important than his life?
"And what is more important than Pikachu's life?" Keldeo asked rhetorically.
He frowned, "That's the issue, but we'll get to that."
"So, the story takes place back in Pokemon infancy, and Ash is journeying with Misty and Brock on a quest to deliver a bunch of Evolutionary Stones."
"FORESHADOWING!" Munna cheered.
Keldeo pushed her out of the way.
"So our heroes are climbing a mountain during a really bad rainstorm-"
Suddenly, a loud siren went off and an electronic voice said, "NONSENSE ALERT! NONSENSE ALERT!"
"Okay, that's enough!" Keldeo shouted. The siren turned off, and Keldeo said, "I'm sorry, but unless Ash is also carrying some extremely vital serum that will save hundred of lives, I fail to see why our heroes are doing something so dangerous during conditions that make it even more dangerous! Isn't there a cave for them to wait in or something?"
"Well, after . . . that happens, guess who shows up?"
Suddenly, out of apparently nowhere, a claw came from the skies and snatched Pikachu off of Ash's head.
"Prepare for trouble..."
The pokemon trainer swiftly turned to see Team Rocket, in their infamous floating balloon. Pikachu was in a small cage in James' hands. Jesse was operating the claw-like machine.
"Make it double..."
"Don't you guys ever give up?" Ash roared into the skies
"Twerp, we're practically surgically grafted to you. It'll be Generation X and we'll still be following you around."
"Wow. It's like you guys are being punished."
"WE ARE! WAAAAAAAA-HAA-HAA-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"What follows is. . ." Keldeo gave a genuine smile, "A really well woven scene where in between the lines of Team Rocket's motto, Bulbasaur and Bayleaf spring into action and save Pikachu."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
As Bulbasaur's vines stretched out to wrap around the cage, Jesse turned a small knob on her device and the crane literally slapped the pokemon aside. Fortunately, the small plant-like creature managed to regain its footing upon landing and avoid a nasty fall.
Pikachu cried out and turned on its electric attack. Unfortunately, the bars holding the little mouse in place were reinforced with rubber and prevented the electricity from getting through even with the rainy skies.
Ash gritted his teeth, turning his hat backwards.
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"
The young pokemon master hurled yet another poke ball into the air, calling forth Bayleef. Its large weight planted it firmly on the rocky soil. Meowth turned the heat on as high as he could in an attempts to get the balloon as far away from their opponents as possible. Just like many times before, Team Rocket could taste the sweet nectar of victory, but by now they knew, at least to some level, that if they didn't act fast than their success would be fleeting.
"So of course, they manage to free Pikachu, but. . ."
James slipped and collided into the small machine that held the crane latched onto their basket.
The impact jarred the device, and the arm and claw part of the crane detached and began to plummet. Jesse dropped the remote and dove to grab it, but she skidded to a stop and held on to the edge of the basket lest she fall with it. Meowth had fallen back onto his posterior at the bottom of the basket. James had been too disorientated to catch it, and could only watch as the object of their most recent paychecks plunged.
It took a moment for either of them to realize that it was falling right towards Ash.
Misty had realized it quickly...but she was shocked to paralysis. She couldn't even cry out for him to look, everything seemed like it was going in slow motion...yet too fast for her to react.
"Ash!" Brock's yell broke the silence. "Look out!"
"Ash is my friend, so I'm not gonna make the obvious That's All Folks joke here," Keldeo said plainly.
"So the machine lands right on top of Ash, and it somehow doesn't kill him instantly. Yeah, I don't want Ash to die, of course, but the way the author describes it, it sounds un-survivable."
With a loud thud and clank, the large chunk of machine collided with Ash's small body, and the impact compelled him to release the tree trunk he had been holding onto. Soundlessly, the young boy slid off the side of the cliff and fell, his body hidden beneath the large machine.
"That sounds pretty bad. . ." Keldeo shrugged, "But then again of Ash could FLY in Like a Meowth to a Flame, then I suppose surviving a crane landing on top of him isn't too implausible."
"So everyone is shocked by this event."
James covered his mouth with his hands, staring at the place Ash had just been laying in wide-eyed horror. Even Jesse and Meowth were stunned silent. Team Rocket was not the most honorable lot, but they were not murderers.
Until now.
Ignoring the simultaneously cries of Bulbasaur and Pikachu, Brock swiftly but carefully made his way to the edge of the cliff. On the bottom, he could only see the broken pieces of machinery. Ash had to be somewhere in that rubble.
Misty remained where she was, her breaths caught in her throat. No, no this was not supposed to happen! Not to Ash! He was supposed to return her bike! He was supposed to complete this journey!
"No, Toadettegril2012, Misty isn't being selfish here. She's in a state of trauma, so her mind is wandering to things like Ash replacing her destroyed bike," Keldeo said flatly.
"So everyone pitches in to get Ash from out of the wreckage and to the nearest hospital."
"I-is he alright?!" Jesse suddenly called from the balloon as it slowly descended down the cliff and hovered mere feet above Brock, Pikachu and the fallen Ash.
"What do you think?!" Brock cried, the circumstances having left the normally docile trainer angry and frightful.
"W-we can take him to the hospital!" James stammered his offer. The thought of ever killing someone was terrifying to the young Rocket member. Petty thievery was one thing, but if their actions caused Ash's death...he didn't know if he'd ever be able to live with himself.
Brock glared up at them. How were they supposed to trust the very people who caused all of this?! But...looking at the terrain around him, he knew he didn't have a choice. With the balloon, Team Rocket could get Ash to the hospital far more quickly than they could...
...and those moments could be the ones who separated life from death.
Keldeo shrugged, "Nothing really special or out of the ordinary here. Of course Team Rocket aren't all bad. Of course our heroes need their help to save Ash. The writing is really good emotional and the scene are set up well. I really do like this story so far. So, what is the issue I have with it?"
Keldeo nodded and said, "Soon . . ."
"So Ash is taken to the hospital, and then the storm causes the power to flicker."
"We can't afford to lose electricity again.." the nurse shook her head as another thunderclap resounded. "The weather's been terrible lately and we've lost electricity six times in the last two days. Our battery reserves just can't handle it anymore."
"And what does that supposed to mean?!" Misty cried, glaring at the other woman as if she was the cause of all their troubles.
Pikachu's ears twitched and it lifted its head to look at the humans.
"That means if the electricity goes out again, we won't have enough in the reserves even to maintain his life support systems," the nurse stated, rubbing her eyes with the back of one hand exhaustedly.
Pikachu gently licked Ash's cheek, the nudged him. Its ears remained pressed against its skull and a small squeak escaped. What if he died, in this cold white bed, amidst the machines? The little mouse shook its head as a shiver ran down its spine. That can't happen. Ash was just a boy, despite all of the adventures he had already gone on, it couldn't end this way.
It could remember the first day it met Ash. At first, it hated the boy, and the captivity he represented. But Ash Ketchum was not the stereotypical trainer. Never had Pikachu seen a boy so willing to sacrifice himself or his happiness for the sake of his pokemon. He had burdened the ridicule of his peers for 'letting his Pikachu run loose,' for letting his pokemon do whatever they wished. Initially, Pikachu had figured that Ash was weak, but it didn't take long to figure out that the boy was so immensely strong...
He didn't need discipline and force to get his pokemon to obey. Ash saw them not as beasts for him to control, but as friends.
And for that, Pikachu appreciated him.
Keldeo smiled, "Yes, this is a very sweet and touching scene. The writing is really good, as is the language. So even though we've probably seen this a hundred times, it's still nice to see. So far so good. Everything is par for the course."
"Well, soon enough, the power does go out, and Pikachu tries to restore the power with his electricity."
"Hurry!" Misty cried as she literally dragged the nurse out the door. "Take us to the power room!"
The nurse nodded and quickly led the group to the generator. Pikachu swiftly followed at their heels and as soon as they arrived, it placed its paws on the engine. Letting out a cry, its cheeks puffed up slightly as electricity coursed through its tiny body into the machine. The lights flickered slightly, but there was no other response. The little pokemon let out a whine, then narrowed its eyes in conviction as it unleashed another electrical attack, this time using all of the strength its small body could muster.
Brock and Misty looked up to see the lights flicker some more. The two crossed their fingers, wishing so intensely that there was something, anything, else they could do to help their companion. Pikachu growled as weakness began to seep into its muscles, but it continued to send as much electricity into the generator as possible. Until finally, spent, the little pokemon collapsed onto its stomach, panting.
The lights flickered for several seconds, before the room went dark once more.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand here we go!" Keldeo shouted as he tossed his fore hooves up in frustration, "Here begins the problem with this story. The one thing that mars what could have been a really sweet and touching oneshot about Pikachu making a sacrifice to save Ash. Pikachu decides to use the Thunder Stone that Ash was supposed to deliver with all the other ones to evolve into a Raichu, which would give him enough power to turn on the life support systems."
Keldeo's brow furrowed and his said indignantly, "However, there is just. . . small . . . problem. . ."
Pikachu pawed the bag until it opened, then gripped the edge and peered inside. There it was, amongst the water and fire and moon stones...was the thunder stone.
Once a pokemon evolves, it is never again the same.
Brock gritted his teeth tearfully as another clap of thunder resounded.
Not only does their body change, but their personalities tend to as well. Sometimes, they lose who they were and become something totally new.
The thought of losing itself that way made the small pokemon hesitate. Once evolved, there was no going back.
Small breaths erratically filled the air, accompanied by the quiet sobs of the normally angry Misty. It was strange to hear her cry so openly.
The little mouse looked over its shoulder to see the humans hovering around his trainer's still body. Professor Oak's words to Ash echoed through the pokemon's mind like a mantra. It never wanted to evolve, to lose the personality and life it had grown so fond of. There was nothing to say as to what the future holds, especially once evolved. What if it...suddenly grew to disdain Ash, just like Charmeleon had? What would it become? Would its new personality be a mirror image of its former self, or something else?! Was it worth the risk?
Suddenly, the breaths stopped again and Brock's voice was tinged with anguish. "Ash, no!"
That was it.
Pikachu did not want to lose itself, but a life without Ash was not a life at all.
With that in mind, it firmly pressed its paw against the thunder stone.
With a small, weak groan, his eyes slowly began to open to find a blurry white mass before him.
"A-Ash..?" Misty... Her voice never sounded so frail as it did in that quiet moment.
He slowly turned his head as his eyes began to focus on her soft frame. Standing beside her was the familiar, taller figure of Brock. "H...Hey..."
"Thank goodness..." Brock murmured, appearing visibly worn out. "You've had us really worried, Ash."
"Worried?!" Misty cried, raising her fist as if to punch Ash. "You've had us more than worried, you jerk! How dare you almost die on us! Don't you know you still owe me a bike?!"
Ash coughed and she immediately lowered her arm to her side. "Heh...eheh... Sorry...about that... I never meant...to make you worry..."
"Well... We're just happy you're back," Misty said softly, a smile touching her lips. "We...really didn't think you were going to make it for awhile, there."
"If it wasn't for Pikachu, you never would have," Brock said honestly.
"Really?" Ash smiled weakly, then lifted his head ever so slightly. "Where...where is Pikachu, anyway?"
"Ash.." Misty said softly. "Pikachu's...not quite the same anymore."
The boy blinked, looking up at her in confusion. "What...do you mean?"
"He's not Pikachu anymore, Ash," Brock answered softly, looking down at his friend in worry. He wasn't sure how the boy was going to take this.
"What? That...doesn't make sense. How could he not be Pikachu anymore?" Ash's eyes suddenly widened as the words resonated in his weary mind.
Seeing the response on his companion's face, Brock sighed and stepped aside so that he no longer blocked the doorway. Standing there, was a Raichu.
Professor Oak's words had not been false that fateful day when he had explained the nature of evolution to the aspiring trainer. Although Ash adored Raichu just as much as he had during the pokemon's previous form...that emotion was not returned with the same vigor Pikachu had shown.
Yes, Raichu had all of the memories of its former form, but it no longer felt the same connection. It was as if those flashbacks belonged to a different pokemon. Although it remembered why it had transformed into its current state, it no longer remembered why it had been compelled so completely to throw itself into the tides of Fate most pokemon are compelled to.
Despite the pain often reflected of knowledge reflected in the boy's eyes, a smile always remained on his face. Even from the first moment of gazing into the Raichu's eyes, he knew that this was no longer the Pikachu he knew. Although he knew he lost his best friend that day, he would not allow the pokemon's sacrifice to be in vain. He moved aside everything he had ever known about his companion and strived to acquaint himself with this new form. Ash vowed to make new memories, new moments, a new relationship with Raichu. He would never give up. Pikachu never gave up on him.
". . . . . . . . . . . NO! Noooooooooooooooo!" Keldeo shouted angrily, "That's not how Pokemon Evolution works! I see this fanfic was written in 2004, so I can only awesome that the author hasn't watched that many episodes, and must have read too deeply in the Charmander/Charmeleon/Charizard Story Arc, and that deep reading was done VERY POORLY!"
"Yes, Charizard went through some personality changes every time he evolved, but he didn't just reset every time! All that changed was his personality. Sure, he was rebellious, but he still knew who Ash. He still knew Ash cared for him, and he still cared for Ash. And since this fanfic is old I'm not gonna hold the evolutions in later episodes against the author, but even back in the early 2000s you could see that Professor Oak wasn't saying 'Evolution causes a Pokemon to throw away everything they know and care about and become somebody completely different.' What Professor Okay meant was, 'When a Pokemon evolves, their personality changes and they often test their limits with their Trainer.' I'm pretty sure if you suddenly got three times bigger your attitude and way of interacting with others would change!"
"What the author did here was twist a quote from the Anime and take it too literally and carry it to far just to get an overly bittersweet ending that doesn't hold up at all once you give it any amount of thought. Pikachu might be a bit more brash, cocky, and overconfident as a Raichu; but to suggest that he would somehow stop loving Ash is just so stupid that I can't even put it into words."
Keldeo held his left forehoof up and said, "But the story is still good. It's well written with good characterization, and it makes you feel some genuine emotions. Sure, its predictable, but that doesn't automatically make it bad. The main issue is, of course, Pikachu's evolution. Now, here's how I see it: Pikachu will always be a good character. He's like Bugs Bunny or Mickey Mouse. Quite frankly, he's timeless. That's probably why this fanfic makes me feel betrayed. Even if Pikachu were to evolve in the actual show, his character probably wouldn't change much at all. The problem is that this fanfic is stuck in the past known as Gen 1, and carries aspects of that Generation too far. I will not say that this was a bad fanfic, because it was good. But I will only admire this fanfic as the relic of the past that it is. A nice looking relic, but an aged relic nonetheless."
Keldeo nodded resolutely and said, "And one thing I know for sure is that the past should be learned from, and then left behind so we can all move on towards the future. I'm Keldeo the Critic, and I- oh shoot! I gotta get back to work!"
Keldeo quickly ran off.
With his director's beret back on, Keldeo shouted into his megaphone, "ACTION!"
"And the opposite of what Fennekin would do right now, would be to kill you!" Braixen snarled.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Serena screamed.
BOOOOOOOOM!
Everyone turned to see that one of the nearby thick trunked trees had been blown up, revealing an angry looking Victini.
"IT'S PAYBACK TIME, PONY-MON!" Victini shouted.
The Victory Pokemon fired a Searing Shot. Braixen, Pikachu, and Clemont turned back into Zoroark, Zorua, and Luke's Zorua and jumped out of the way. Keldeo jumped out of the way as well.
The huge fireball enveloped Team Rocket and Gen Wunner and exploded, blasting them into the air.
"WE'RE BLASTING OFF AGAIN!" Team Rocket shouted.
"NO! It's 'looks like Team Rocket is blasting off again!' Say it right!" Gen Wunner shouted as he flew off and disappeared into the sky with a twinkle of light.
Victini looked straight at Keldeo, and took a step forward.
CRASH!
The heavy trunk from the tree Victini had blown up fell straight back down and landed right on top of him, driving him a few feet deep into the ground.
Keldeo blinked and said, "What the hay was that?"
"Beats me!" Zorua said, suddenly in the form of Victini.
Keldeo, Zoroark, Zorua, and Luke's Zorua all shared a big hearty laugh.
Meanwhile, thousands of miles away. . . .
Entei smirked as he looked at the screen, "Ha! Of course that little fool was gonna fail. And now that he's out of the way, we can go on with the real plan without any distractions."
Raikou frowned, "Are you sure we should've challenged Victini to go it alone to get him to fail? I mean, a Victory Pokemon sounds like something handing to have in your corner."
"We don't need Victini," Suicune said coolly.
"I agree!" Entei shouted, then he laughed mischievously and said, "Oooh, this is gonna be soooo good. Make my words, you guys, we're gonna make a slave out of that soldier! Everything is going according to plan!"
Entei grinned. Then he smiled. Then, holding his jaws open, he laughed a stiff, unnerving, slightly high pitched laugh as his eyes were wide open and crazy looking.
Suicune mouth twitched a little, while Raikou started to chuckle along nervously.
"Silence," Etnei said to Raikou, "Only I'm allowed to do the Agent Smith laugh."
Raikou blinked and nodded, "Okay. . . "
Entei nodded, and then began looking around stiffly, continuing his creepy maniacal laugh.
The End
Credits
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Yu-Gi-Oh! Abridged by LittleKuriboh/CardGamesFTW
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