Author's Note: So...I just now realized this chapter should have been in Dutch's POV...and rather than re-writing this chapter and adjusting the POV...we're just going to go with it since I've already started the next chapter with Dutch's POV and I think it that honestly it'll work out better because the look you get in the next chapter.
"No."
"Hey," Johnny said as he pulled her into a hug. She clung to him, not wanting to let him go. "It's going to be okay," he whispered as his hand smoothed her hair as he held her. It was always hard for them to separate and go their own ways...they'd been each other's anchor. The last time he'd gone away was after Pawter...he'd not wanted to bring down trouble on Dutch and D'avin because he'd 'killed' Delle Seyah...but he'd also needed the space. Things were different, he needed to push her into going because she needed to stay safe. "It's only going to be for a little bit."
"Maybe you should come with, Blue Eyes," came the suggestion.
Johnny had certainly thought about it. Dutch was the last one who needed to be fussed over and as much as she was all about the mission...their family always came first. He couldn't leave D'avin. He felt like he was choosing as he thought about that...and he would normally always choose Dutch. Not this time. He couldn't.
"No," she whispered as she pulled back from him. He held tight to her arms, staring at her even though she was looking downward.
"Dutch-"
"It's going to be fine, you're right," she said as she looked up at him, tears in her eyes. Feelings were not something that frequently came out between the three of them...and there was always this acknowledgement that they could just pretend that it never happened. "You need to be here with D'av and Zeph."
"You say the word-"
"I know," she said and she was clearly pressing a smile forward in that moment. "I just...I just got back to you guys."
And he felt the same way.
They'd just all been reunited and now they were tearing the team apart again.
"Where will you go?" Johnny asked Bellus, whom they'd picked up from Leith. Probably if it had been any other Killjoy, Bellus wouldn't think to do what she was doing for Dutch...but it was Dutch. There was some comfort in knowing that Dutch would be in good hands...and familiar ones at that.
"Better that you don't know...just in case," Bellus told him.
"There's a ship waiting for you on Westerley," D'avin said.
"Can I say goodbye to Pree while we're there?" Dutch asked.
"No need," Bellus said. "He'll be joining us. There's no way I'm going to be able to tolerate your hormonal shit on my own...someone's going to have to help me on that front."
He felt even better in that moment, but he'd rather that he or D'avin were also going with her. He looked back at his brother and realized that it had to be just as difficult for him...maybe moreso. The list of people they knew that they could trust was a lot smaller than any of them would like. "So, that's the plan? Dutch goes into hiding with Bellus and Pree? You, me, and Zeph go out after the Hullen on Lucy?"
"Fancy's going to be meeting up with us, too," D'avin said. "And then we'll figure out the rest."
"Time to go, Dutch," Bellus prompted.
It was clear that this was too much for Dutch, it was something unexpected and it was just as hard on them. She'd packed a small bag and hadn't known what was going to happen...and now they were splitting up and it felt like the worst thing in the world. He watched as she turned to D'avin, trying to wear a brave face. Johnny could see right through it.
"Promise me that you'll look out for each other," Dutch asked of D'avin.
"I promise," D'avin replied, obviously trying just as hard.
She hugged him tight and John noticed that it took his brother a moment to wrap his arms around her. Was he just so in shock? Was he trying to distance himself? Johnny knew that D'avin had been shouldering too much, just like Dutch always did. They both always felt the need to protect him even when he could take care of himself...and could help them shoulder things as well.
"Try not to be such a pain in the ass for Bellus and Pree...and I promise that we'll be back together as soon as it's safe," D'avin told her.
"Be quick," Dutch whispered as she pulled back to stare at D'av before kissing him. "Be good."
"Tap my heart."
When Dutch moved away from D'av, Johnny found himself pulled into another hug. He held her and tried not to get any more worked up than he already felt. She needed to go...she didn't need to worry about them. They'd be okay. "Be safe."
She pulled back and cupped his cheek with one hand. "I love you, Johnny Jaqobis. I don't know what I'm going to do without you."
"You're going to have to put up with my bright personality," Bellus quipped.
There was a small rumble of laughter. "I love you, Yalena Yardeen," Johnny said. It wasn't often that any of them used Dutch's name...the name that she'd given up. It felt right. "And we'll be right back to get you once it's safe."
"And we've got the protocols in place, right?" D'av asked and it was clear that this was to Bellus.
"Believe me, they'll be there and I hope that I don't have to wait a long ass time to hear from you," Bellus stated.
"Go," Johnny said as he guided Dutch towards Bellus. It was going to be hard for her to leave no matter what. D'av was definitely right, this plan sucked...none of them liked it...but it was the right one and it was necessary.
"Lucy, keep an eye on our boys for me," Dutch said.
"Always," Lucy replied.
They watched Dutch and Bellus get into the smaller ship before the airlock closed. Johnny didn't know how much time would pass until he saw them again, but he already missed Dutch. He snuffed and pushed the tears that were falling away. He hated being strong, especially when it came to Dutch. This was one of the few times where they needed to protect her and it felt so wrong that their way of protecting her had to be to basically give her up to someone else and not be able to do anything to actively protect her.
"Johnny?" D'av spoke up after a few minutes.
"I'm fine," he lied.
"I'm sorry."
He turned to his brother, trying to be calm and to bottle his emotion. "Why are you sorry? Your plan sucked, but it was what needed to happen…"
"You should have gone with her."
"No," Johnny said firmly. "I couldn't leave you. As much as I wanted to go with Dutch, I'll make the biggest difference helping you win the war. That means my place is right here." He paused and stared at D'avin. "I know it couldn't have been easy for you to let her go either."
"Are we really going to share our feelings?"
"Why do you have to be such a dick?" Johnny asked, thankful that D'av had lightened the mood. He shook his head, but he wasn't sincere in his words or his tone.
"Consistency."
"Well, I guess I'll give you that then."
"Hokk?"
"I thought we were going to go over our next move?"
"Our next move is to get drunk while we let Zeph figure things out."
Johnny decided he really wasn't going to argue with that. "Okay."
TBC…
