The show! Will! Go! On!
Keldeo reared up on his hind legs, his expression serious and his Secret Sword raised and glowing brightly.
Keldeo the Critic
Season 4 Episode 13: Zuma's Fear by HavocHound
Keldeo stood with his Soothe Bell at the ready by his forehooves. With a frown, Keldeo said, "Okay, this second half is where things get really bad. So you might wanna run out and buy a Soothe Bell for your own sanity's sake. Trust me when I say that after this, you too will want to shove a sword up Stone's. . . um. . ." Keldeo shifted uncomfortably and sighed, "Let's just go."
Molly Wallsberry had always wanted to go camping with her family ever since she was little. The problem as her parents were always busy working due to their high ranking jobs. It got even busier when her little brother was born. Finally, however, after so many years of planning, the four of them were able to rent a cabin on Jake's Mountain Resort for a full week-
"Yeah, we all know what's coming," Keldeo said miserably with an angry growl in the back of his throat.
Molly couldn't help but smile. So far the trip was everything she had dreamed it to be. Realizing she had run out of ketchup for her burger when she heard something loud like a big bang go off in her ear. She then felt something red hit her as her hearing went out followed by a loud ringing. At first she thought the red was ketchup and the bottle exploded, but then she slowly turned to her little brother.
"Why does everyone keep mistaking ketchup for blood?! Who does that!? And when I asked if this was Rocket Power, it was supposed to be a joke!" Keldeo said, sounding frustrated, "And if I sound a little extra frustrated, it's so that I don't think too much about how horribly overly violent this all is."
A man suddenly walked up to the picnic table they were using, pushed her mother to the side and sat down, looking at her with a smile that made her wet herself. Like he didn't care that the gun in his hand had just shot and killed all three members of her family.
"You know, this is the part where you run away screaming and finding somebody that poor old Damian Stone killed your family? Am I right? So run along now," he said shooing her as if she was a bug. She didn't move. All she could do was stare at him.
It was only when he back slapped her and shouted "Move!" that her legs finally went to work. She ran. Ran like the devil himself was behind her. She started to scream. She started to cry. She ran covered in her family's blood. All while hearing him scream.
"Run! Run Forrest! Run!"
"A quick reminder, this is all Ryder and Greg's fault!" Keldeo shouted.
"So, Stone has finally arrived in Adventure Bay, and the whole world come to help catch him."
Neither of the pups, minus Chase, had ever seen so many police officers in one sitting. There were even a few police dogs who came by, all veterans of the field whom Chase had spent as much time as he could asking questions. There were other people at the lookout as well such as FBI, medical teams, and US Marshall's. Stone was a high ranking criminal, and everybody wanted to see him jailed.
"Gosh! Leaders of terrorist organisations don't have this many people looking for them!" Keldeo exclaimed.
"I mean, come on! I'm not letting go of this. Why is this guy so hard to catch? It's not like he's a ninja or a changeling or a super-villain or something. What, can he just sink into the ground at will. Where in Adventure Bay is he hiding at? The motel? Wouldn't that be the first place the police would look. But then again, the police are incompetent enough to not guard the prisoner transport, so yeah, maybe the deck is stacked in Stone's favor."
"We got him! We have a spotting of Stone at the mountain resort!"
Paw Patrol wasted no time heading down the elevator as everyone crowded around a responder with a haeadset connected to his computer desktop. Zuma was also nearby, which made Rocky quickly walk over and comfort him as they waited to hear the news.
"What happened?" asked Detective Shaw, rushing through. "Who called it in?!"
"The owner, Jake, he said he found a teenage girl covered in blood who was crying and screaming. She said something about a guy with a gun killing her family. She was hysterical, but she said his name which he told her for some reason."
"Alright, this is our chance, I want all units locked and loaded. Those mountains have plenty of caves, woods, and other hiding places for Stone and his gang to hide in! Take no chances, and shoot to kill granted," shouted Detective Shaw as he started ordering his people around while others from the FBI and Marshalls went to work with their teams. The FBI would help evacuate other campers in various cabins and provide aerial support while the Marshalls, Police, and SWAT searched the mountain."
"What can we do, Detective?" asked Marshall, barking for attention.
"Sorry, pups, but you're gonna stay out of this. We don't know what Stone has planned and I'd rather have you and you're pups waiting her as back up in case things get hairy," said Shaw as he started putting on a bullet proof police vest. "Don't do anything without my say so."
"Understood," answered Ryder as he nodded.
"Okay, but Carmen Stonediego clearly wanted you to know he was there, so what's his real plan? I mean, I'm pretty sure everyone in Advneture Bay has locked themselves up inside their homes, so it's not like Stone can take hostages-"
When Alex learned there was a wanted criminal hiding out in Adventure Bay, he wanted to go out on patrol as Police Officer Alex on his super trike. However, Grandpa had forbidden him doing so, even telling him that he wasn't supposed to be going out alone until otherwise. Of course, Alex saw this as unfair. Ryder and the Paw Patrol were dealing with the criminal and he was an honorary Paw Patrol member. That mean he had every right to help out.
That is why he snuck out of his room when his grandpa went to take a nap.
Sweetie Belle: "OH, COME ON!"
"Worst. Caregiver. EVER!" Keldeo shouted, "A dangerous killer is on the loose, your infamously mischievous grandson wants to 'help catch him,' and you take a nap!? Do you want him to be horribly murdered! This is like Breeze the Linoone all over again!"
"So, of course, Alex gets kidnapped."
He saw an adult who looked to be a bit older than some of the students near Adventure Bay Community College that often visited the store. He had a black hoodie on and was wearing shades while his baggie jeans were covered in dirt.
Alex, being the helper that he was, walked over to the stranger and asked, "Hey, I heard you calling for help! What's wrong?"
"It's my dog, Sparky," said the man with worry in his tone. "He got away from me and I don't know where he is!"
"Don't worry! I'll help you out! No job is too big and no Alex is too small!" said Alex, pointing up in the air.
"Thank you so much," said the man before pointing towards a bush. "I think he went that way."
"Well, let's go!" said Alex as he prepare to lead the charge. Before he could however, he feld the man grab him by the waist and shove a cloth into his mouth. It smelled so bad that Alex though he was going to faint. He struggled against the man who suddenly grabbed him when he felt himself getting sleepy…
*Yawh*… why am I … so tired… I had… my… nap…
Before he knew it, he was out like a light. Ten seconds later, he was gone from the park.
Keldeo made a face, "Ugh. That was pretty dark. Can we get some comedy relief over here?"
Chase, meanwhile, was teaching some of the other pups how to defend themselves with a few combat moves designed for pups. He felt it was best since Stone was a dangerous criminal, and being prepare for a fight could save their lives
"Okay, now come at me like you want to kill me, Marshall," said Chase, standing still out in the yard.
"But I don't want to kill you," said Marshall, whimpering. The other pups looked also unsure at the idea of hurting Chase.
"Trust me, I won't be hurt. I'm just going to show you a quick disabling move," said Chase, getting ready.
"Well, okay," said Marshall, scratching his ears. "But I think you'll need to motivate me."
"Okay, I plan on selling Mr. Snuggles on Ebay for a sixth season DVD of Walter Texas Ranger.
"What?" Keldeo said with a laugh, "A German Shepherd pup is a fan of Walker Texas Ranger? A you serious?"
"Never!" shouted a frantic Marshall before growling and rushing right towards Chase. Both Skye and Rubble held their breath as Marshall leap at Chase with his fangs showing bright in the sunlight.
"Ehhhhh. I did a Zuul joke in part one. That should tide you over. . ."
Chase quickly dodged the blow with a spin, following it up by grabbing Marshall's side with his teeth and forcing the dalmatian down on his side. Holding him down with a paw on his throat, Chase growled and Marshall quickly stopped as he felt himself unable to move.
"Woah," said Skye and Rubble in amazement.
"Yup, the trick is to use your own opponent's strength again them," said Chase, helping Marshall get up. "Try to turn the defense into an offense against your opponent. It can work in multiple ways, but you have to think fast and react fast."
"Or you could just bite them in the balls," said Rubble, cheerfully.
Keldeo stifled a laugh with his left forehoof, but then put his hoof down and leaned in to say seriously, "I guarantee that anyone who reads this story all the way through will want to see Stone get bitten down there by Rubble."
"Ewww, Rubble!" scolded Skye, sticking her tongue out. "That's gross! I didn't need to think of that image in my mind."
"What? I once saw a Doberman do that to a crazy hobo once," said Rubble, shrugging his shoulder. "It works."
"And, I gotta be honest here, this manages to be funny because of how innocent and childlike the character of Rubble is. There's no way he's trying to be perverted or dirty here. He basically just innocently stating a fact that, to be quite honest, might become a reality when they come face to face with crazy psycho guys with guns!"
"Marshall, if a gun was pointed to my head, and the only way to stop that bad guy from killing me was to kill him first, would you do it?" asked Chase, narrowing his eyes at the squirming dalmatian. "Would you rather seem me alive? Or laid out in a casket before putting me in a grave?"
Marshall bit his lip, but slowly nodded his head in understanding. "Okay… I get it… doesn't mean I have to like it."
"I'm not asking you to," replied Chase as he put a paw on his best friend's shoulder. "I just want you to be prepared to do what's necessary." He then turned to the others. "Okay, now let's continue…"
Keldeo nodded slowly, "Now, that's a very impressive scene. It's emotional, it's serious, and it gets a very strong moral point across. I'm impressed."
Keldeo smiled, then shrugged and said, "Now, how does the fanfic ruin it for me again?"
Meanwhile, Ryder had been up in the control room, reading reports on Stone in order to understand him better. He was going to take a break when his puppad rang. Answering it, he saw a worried Mr. Porter on the screen. "Hey Mr. Porter, what's up?"
"Ryder! Have you seen Alex?! I left the house to make a few deliveries and when I came back I found him missing! I told him to stay inside because of that maniac on the loose, but now… oh dear…" Mr. Porter then started to bit his nails as his worries echoed on his face.
Keldeo was dumbfounded, "Okay, first of all, I thought it said he was taking a nap. Second of all, WHAT!? YOU LEFT HIM ALONE IN THE HOUSE? Why didn't you take him with you or something? How stupid are you? You're as dumb as Ryder and Greg were! Great, so now we've got three stupid humans to blame for all this!"
"So, big shock, Stone uses Alex's phone to finally kick off his evil plan."
Ryder's eyes widened when the screen finally came up. Alex was on there, as he hoped, but it was seeing his condition that had him nearly have a heart attack. The five year old was gagged and tied to a tree, struggling to escape with tears in his eyes. He tried to mumble something, but the gag prevented him. There were black and blue marks on his cheeks, obviously from a blunt object, and Ryder saw a wet stain between Alex's legs on his pants meaning he had wet himself in fear.
"Alex!" shouted Ryder. "What happened!? Wha-" Ryder's voice died out as a new face appeared on the screen, slowly inching in with a smirk on his face. "D-Damian Stone…"
Damian, chuckling, gave a two fingered salute as he inched towards Alex. Alex was struggling even harder to get free, shaking with fear as Damian rested his elbow on his head like he was a stool. "Hello, Ryder. I think this is the first time we are meeting face to face, but I have heard of you. No doubt you have heard of me."
*Ding!*
Rip-Off Side Pot: 14. Villain taunts protagonists with a video of their hostage. (Mr. Tinkles from Cats and Dogs)
"Release him, Stone! If you do anything to him I will make you regret it!" shouted Ryder, his voice so harsh that it was not a threat, it was a promise.
"Oh, what are going to do? Sick your little Power Ranger rip-off squad on me?" joked Stone.
Keldeo threw his forehooves up and shouted, "Alright! Play the clip!"
Stone walked out of the back of the police van.
Stone: "Ahh! After two years, I'm free! It's time to kill Zuma!"
Ryder activated his Pup-Pad and turned to Robo-Dog.
Ryder: "Robo-Dog! Stone has escaped! Recruit a team of talking dogs with attitude!"
Robo-Dog nodded, and his pup tag blinked.
The PAW Patrol all ran to the Lookout and got into their vehicles, which all quickly combined to form a giant dog shaped Mega Zord.
"GO-GO PAW PATROLERS! YOU MIGHTY MORPHING PAW PATROLERS"
"Good. Now as you no doubt know, Detective Shaw and his Mystery Gang are looking for me near Jake's Mountain, but I'm far from there. Oh I did kill that girl's parents, but it was only to draw all of them out so I could kidnap poor Alex here. We're actually in the forests that are a few miles from here on the way to Foggy Bottom," said Stone, tapping his fingers on Alex's head like a drum, the latter of the two glaring at him in return.
"Why are you telling me this?" asked Ryder.
"Well, I want to see how good you rescue team is so we're going to play a game. See, I have a few fire bombs that are about to explode… right about now….
A series of loud booms nearly made Ryder drop his puppad. He rushed over to the periscope and looked in the direction from where Stone mentioned. Sure enough, a series of fires were now spreading across the forest. Looking back at his puppad, Stone was smiling like he had just called "check" at chess and was ready to soon call "mate". "Well, Ryder. It seems like four or so fires are starting to spread across the woods. Alex is located somewhere in these woods. Will you rescue him in time before the fires burn the poor kid alive? I guess we'll have to see and find out."
"I don't understand how Stone got around so quickly, or why the authorities didn't comb the forest just in case. Isn't the forest the first place the police usually look when a criminal has escaped?"
"Pups! We have a serious emergency! Alex has been kidnapped by Damian Stone!"
"What!"
"Oh no!"
"Poor Alex!"
Zuma nearly fell off his paws and cried out, "It's all my fault. He's doing what he said he would do! Endanger all of you because of me!"
"Zuma, don't go there," ordered Ryder, shaking his head.
"Right. We all know it's Greg's, Ryder's, and Mr. Porter's fault," Keldeo said without the slightest hint of sarcasm.
"So, while Rocky and Zuma work to create a device that will clear away the smoke, the rest of the heroes go out to put out the fires and save Alex."
Barking with excitement, Chase drove as fast as he could towards the location. His vehicle crushed burning wood as it sped down the forest as fast as possible. When he finally reached the big tree, he got up and went up to Alex. "Alex! I'm here to save yo-"
Chase's sniffer went into overdrive as he smelled something that made his eyes widen when he got closer to the body. He had only smelled this type of smell once, and that was during his training days. It was a smell all dogs had to be trained to know just in case.
Bomb! Screamed Chase in his mind, as he tried grinding to a halt. A snap of wire that his paw broke made him even more alerted as he quickly jumped, turned around and shouted, "Zipline!"
His zipline launcher fired and landed on a non-burning tree. He quickly started to pull himself towards it just as the fake Alex exploded and knocked him off in mid-air. Yipping he landed roughly on the ground, his ears ringing from the explosion.
Shaking his head, he nearly lost his lunch when he saw what looked to be Alex's head, but sighed in relief when he found it to be a straw dummy. Hitting his pup tag, he shouted, "Ryder, sir! I just got into a nasty explosion with some fake Alex dummy! There must be more of them, and they're rigged to explode! Be careful!"
"How did they have time to make all these traps?!" Keldeo exclaimed.
*Ding!*
Rip-Off Side Pot: 15. Villain sets up bombs all over the place (The Riddler and the Joker from Batman)
"Well, next we get an action scene where Marshall and Ryder are being chased by Stone's motorcycle gang."
Abridged!Dartz: "DO HIM!"
*Ding!*
Rip-Off Side Pot: 16. Villain's underlings ride motorcycles (Dartz from Yu-Gi-Oh: Waking the Dragons)
BANG!
Ryder could feel the bullet zip right past his helmet as he ducked for cover. A few more shots rang out and started hitting the fire truck's end. "Marshall! Floor it!"
Marshall wasted no time and slammed his paw against the gas petal, sending the fire truck screaming into the fire covered woods themselves. Behind them, two guys wielding uzi's and riding dirt bikes were following them. The two gun men continued to fire at the fire truck as Marshall swerved it around through the burning trees.
"Ryder! A-a-a-are they sh-sho-o-oting at us?! With r-r-real guns?!"
"NO SHIP, SHERLOCK! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" the Intoxiquer shouted being flying away as fast as he could.
"Yes, Marshall! Now focus on driving!" shouted Ryder as he kept his head down. He saw the two bikers coming closer out of the corner of his eyes and wished he had a weapon with him. He looked at his hands where the hose was and nearly smacked himself for forgetting. Once the shooting had stopped, he got up and fired the hose at the bikers who scattered to avoid the high powered water blast.
One of them managed to zoom straight up to Marshall in the driver's seat and aimed his Uzi. Reacting on instincts, Marshall screamed, "Arf! Water Cannons!"
His twin water cannons came out and shot water at the rider, knocking him off his bike where he landed face first into a tree with a sickening crunch. Marshall, did his best not to hurl at the thought of possibly killing somebody enter his mind.
*DING!*
PAW Patrol: 1
Stone's gang: 0
"What!?" Keldeo shouted in disbelief, almost laughing at the absurdity of what just happened, "Did the PAW Patrol just take out a motorcycle gang member with a machine gun using a water cannon? Are you serious?"
"Unfortunately, this victory doesn't last long, because they end up running right into a trap."
"Marshall! Look out!"
"Huh? Woah!" shouted Marshall as they started heading towards a tree which a straw dummy of Alex on it. Marshall pressed the breaks and cried to skid his truck away from the tree, but the sound of a wire snapping echoed in the dalmatians' sensitive ears.
An explosion soon echoed across the forest.
"They aren't dead yet, so I'm not adding any points to Stone's gang."
Meanwhile, a pile of dirt had been formed by Rubble right outside the forest. "One dirt pile just as delivered! Take it away, Skye!"
"Ruff! Ruff! This puppy is gonna fly!" shouted Sky as she used her helicopter to control a giant bucket that scooped up some of the dirt. She took off as Rubble watched her do her job that Ryder had given.
"Man, what do I do now? How come I have to wait here while everyone is having some action?" asked Rubble, pouting in disappointment.
Keldeo smiled in embarrassment and said, "Yeah, I kind meant to use the next joke for when Greg said he wasn't gonna call the police, but I forget to put it in. So, I'm just gonna use it here instead."
Principal form Billy Madison: "What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."
"Sure enough, Rubble does realize what a stupid thing to say that was as Stone's gang shows up to shoot him full of holes."
Without even thinking about it, Rubble high tailed it out of there and cursed that his digger was the slowest of all the vehicles of Paw Patrol. He kept his head low as he heard the gunman getting closer on their bikes and gulped. Pressing his pup tag, he called for backup. "Ryder! Help! I'm being chased by three guys with guns! What do I do?!"
There was nothing but static as a result. "Hello?" asked Rubble, but when he got no answer he turned it off and was about to call again when the bullets started flying.
He yipped as he could hear them sailing over him and began to whimper. "Oh no, no, no, no, no, no!" He wished he could just fly away or block the bullets like his hero Apollo the Super Pup, but he wasn't a super hero. Just a pup!
"… but if there is one thing I can do like Apollo, it's be brave like Apollo!" shouted Rubble, with a growl. He curved his digger around and charged forward, howling. Two of the bikers raced off to avoid the digger, but the third one panicked as Rubble headed straight for him. "Here comes Rubble! Bringing you trouble!"
The biker screamed as he slammed into the digger's blade, sending him sailing into the air and landing hard on the ground. The bike was totaled as it was thrown away and landed in a heap.
*DING!*
PAW Patrol: 2
Stone's gang: 0
"WHOA!" Keldeo shouted, putting his forehooves up into the air, "Let's get an instant replay!"
"I'M AN ANGRY MOTHER ZOROARK!"
"Here comes Rubble! Bringing you trouble!"
The biker screamed as he slammed into the digger's blade, sending him sailing into the air and landing hard on the ground. The bike was totaled as it was thrown away and landed in a heap.
"I'M AN ANGRY MOTHER ZOROARK!"
"I think Rubble's the most entertaining character in this story!" Keldeo remarked with a broad grin.
"I'M AN ANGRY MOTHER ZOROARK!"
"Here comes Rubble! Bringing you trouble!"
The biker screamed as he slammed into the digger's blade, sending him sailing into the air and landing hard on the ground. The bike was totaled as it was thrown away and landed in a heap.
"The other two bikers open fire, but then Rubble simply switches into Defense Mode."
Just as soon as he heard the first shots, Rubble quickly brought up his rigger's blade by pressing his paw on the up arrow button. The bulldozer's blade quickly blocked the bullets heading for Rubble's head, reflecting them off in different directions which caused the gunmen to duck for cover.
Rubble: "I know activate the Magic Card, 'Emergency Backup!' This allows me to summon another PAW Patrol monster to the field in Attack Mode when you have more monsters than I do! And I choose 'PAW Patrol- Skye'!"
"I heard the gunshots and came straight back here!" radioed Skye as she made for the gunmen, the heavy bucket still attached to her cable. "Bombs away!"
She detached the bucket from her cable, sending it downwards towards the gunmen, who scrambled away on their motorcycles to avoid getting crushed. The bucket smashed onto the ground, making a large crater. The two gunman turned around and aimed their guns at the stunned pups, but the sound of empty clicks echoed in the air.
"****! Out of ammo!" said one of them as he turned to the other. "Bail?"
"Bail!"
The two cyclists kicked up their gas and headed out, retreating until they were a speck in the distance. Rubble released the breath he was holding and started to howl in triumph. "Yeah! We did it!"
"Wow, Stone's gang. . . kinda stinks. . ."
"We sure showed them!" shouted Skye with a smile on her face. Suddenly, both her and Rubble's puptags lit up.
"P-pups…" said Ryder's raspy voice on the other end. "I… I need help…"
"Ryder?! What's wrong?!" asked Skye with worry in her voice.
"Explosion… triggered… fire truck is totaled… my leg is hurt… fire everywhere…"
"So Rocky uses the fans in Zuma's hover vehicle to blow away the smoke, allowing Chase to find Alex."
Chase bit his lip upon thinking of that. It was something he never wanted to use until he was older, or even at al period. But with the seriousness of this case, it seemed like there was no other choice but to ask Ryder for permission to use… that.
"Again, a nice moral stance on how a police officer needs to be sure that they have no choice when they pull out their gun. . ." Keldeo frowned and said, "But, these guys are clearly psychotic monsters, so OF COURSE YOU SHOULD SHOOT THEM!"
Chase hit the gas petal as hard as he could as he made his way towards his spy drone's location. It didn't take him long to arrive there, and thankfully he didn't smell any explosives despite the overwhelming scent of ash and fire that was only a few feet away.
Chase got out of his car and made his way to the ropes, biting on them as hard as he could. It took some tires, but he managed to free Alex as he cut through the ropes with his sharp teeth. Alex, with his arms free, took out the gag in his mouth and quickly hugged Chase. "Oh, thank you, Chase! Thank you! I knew the Paw Patrol wouldn't let me down! I wanna get out of here! I wanna go home!"
"While that's going on, Zuma and Rocky go and rescue Ryder."
"Ryder!" shouted Rocky as he and Zuma jumped off and rushed over to their human. The two of them winced at the sight of Ryder's left leg which was covered in blood and had a few pieces of wood in it. "How bad is it?"
"I don't think I'll be moving any time soon," chuckled Ryder as he shook his head, wincing at the pain. He turned to the recycling truck and asked, "Is there any chance of moving me on your truck?"
"No, I have the entire back holding the battery for the fans," whimpered Rocky.
"B-blood…" whimpered Zuma, who started burring his paws over his eyes. "No… not blood… please no more… make it stop…"
"Zuma!" shouted Rocky as he lifted his friend up and had him stare at him straight in the eye. "Look at me! Look at me!"
Zuma opened his eyes and did.
"I know you don't like blood. I know you're getting images of your family right now, but if we don't' do something to help Ryder, he's going to die! We need to save Ryder, Zuma. And I can't do that without you little bro." Rocky gave him a small smile. "So let's do this together, okay?"
Zuma whimpered a bit, but nodded. "Okay."
Keldeo cleared his throat and said, "Okay, I've kinda been skipping over the growing relationship between Zuma and Rocky. Yeah, I'll get to that later, after I've tackled the gruesome finale that's coming."
"So they get Ryder to safety, but it turns out they're not out of the woods yet."
There was suddenly a loud barrage of booing.
"Hey! Stop! Stop! I didn't make that pun on purpose!" Keldeo shouted, and the booing stopped.
Chase couldn't help but feel that something was wrong the moment he started looking for Marshall. Why would Marshall be out here in a field of all places without telling the others and how did he get past them anyway.
These questions continued to haunt his mind until he smelled Marshall's scent in the air. Realizing this was the place, he stop his car and looked around, unable to find anything. Getting off his truck he started sniffing around until he came across something in the dirt that made him froze.
It was Marshall's puptag… covered in blood.
And a little note attached to it.
Yo!
I kidnapped the princess while you were running around.
She's here in my castle, if you dare try to rescue her.
Ha ha ha. . .
King of the Koopa
*Ding!*
Rip-Off Side Pot: 17. Villain kidnaps someone close to the protagonists and taunts them with it (Bowser from Super Mario Bros. )
"Okay, here's the real note," Keldeo relented.
Dear Ryder and Paw Patrol,
Nice rescue! But you seem to me missing a pup.
Don't worry, Marshall and I are going to have some fun before the real game starts.
Call you soon.
Damian Stone
"So we then move to Stone's hideout where Marshall is held captive Princess Peach style."
I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid.
Marshall repeated this as many times as he could in his mind. There wasn't much else to do as the kidnappers had him tied down to a chair. He had already looked for a way to escape, but from what he could tell he was in some abandoned warehouse. He didn't care bark or howl for help. He knew what had happened. He knew nobody would hear him. And he knew who it was that was going to come through that door.
All Marshall could do was pray as hard as he could that Ryder and his friends would come and save him. He didn't know what was going to happen to him, but he would not show fear. He would not give this... monster the satisfaction.
The sound of footsteps echoing in the hall nearby made the dalmatian hold his breath. I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid.
The door soon opened and Marshall saw, for the first time face to face, the killer of Zuma's family. Damian Stone, with a small smile that made Marshall's spine tingle, closed the door behind him as he walked over to the left side of the large room. Marshall's eyes never once left the human as he went to an old table and placed something down.
It was a boombox.
"Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no, no. Stone does not have a Villain Song. HavocHound did not give Stone a Villain Song," Keldeo said sternly in denial.
"I can't seem to face up to the facts
I'm tense and nervous and I
Can't relax
I can't sleep 'cause my bed's on fire
Don't touch me I'm a real live wire."
Damian tapped his foot to the song as he began to take tools out. Pipes. Wrenches. Crowbars. Nails. Screws. Pilers. Each of them bringing images into Marshall's mind that only made him repeat his mantra more and more. I'm not afraid! I'm not afraid! I'm not afraid! I'm not afraid!
"Psycho Killer
Qu'est-ce que c'est
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away"
"OH MY GOSH!" Keldeo shouted. He looked around with eyes wide and said, "You- you, this- this is beyond desperate!"
*Ding!*
Rip-Off Side Pot: 18. VILLAIN SONG! (Nearly every Disney Villain)
"You just. . . took every Villain Trope there is and stuffed them in. I mean, this is ridiculous! This can't be real, whatever it is."
Rubbing his chin a bit, Damian snapped his fingers and then grabbed a small hammer. He began to walk over to Marshall, twirling it a few times as he whistled to the song.
"Psycho Killer
Qu'est-ce que c'est
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away"
Keldeo frowned and said, "The song isn't even that good. Villain Songs are supposed to be catchy and exhilarating. Why couldn't you have picked something cool, like, I don't know, maybe. . ."
Break, break, break my mind,
Break it till the tale unwinds,
Force my thoughts through hell and back,
Or leave me alone tonight!
Break, break, break my heart,
Break me till I fall apart,
This can't be real, this can't be right,
Now die inside the flames of your friiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!
"And why is Stone even doing this?" Keldeo asked incredulously, "Why gets out a boombox and plays music while they're committing a crime except for Season One Team Rocket?"
*Ding!*
Rip-Off Side Pot: 19. Evil is hammy.
"I mean, what's next? The Psyche Hitler!?"
Marshall whimpered as every part of his body began to tremble in fear upon seeing Damian Stone raise the hammer right above his head. I'mnotafraidI'mnotafraidI'mnotafraidIamafraidIamafraidIamafraidIamafraid.
The hammer came down as Marshall closed his eyes and waited for the blow. Before it could hit his head, it stopped just a few inches. The music was the only thing playing as all other noise seemed to stop. Marshall slowly opened his eyes and saw that the hammer hadn't him yet.
"Huh?" asked Marshall.
"Psyche," whispered Damian. A split second later he pulled out his knife and stabbed it into Marshall's left leg.
His scream echoed across the empty warehouse.
Keldeo's jaw dropped.
"Oh my gosh, HE DID THE PSYCHE HITLER! Do you know what this means? This means that Damian Stone is the most over the top, one dimensional, cliched villains OF ALL TIME! HAVOCHOUND! YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS! You just literally confirmed what I've been thinking and saying! You created a physical manifestation of every single major villain trope on the TV Tropes Wiki! You FOOL! You've just created and unleashed something far beyond comprehension! I - I - I. . ."
Keldeo's legs buckled, and he fainted.
Keldeo the Critic
We'll be right back, unfortunately. . .