Ch. 3

APOV

Songs: Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots Pt. 1 - The Flaming Lips

It had almost been a week since the attack. Classes hadn't started back up yet, but campus was slowly getting back to normal; well, as normal as it could considering. It was becoming easier for me to get around without a constant need to jump out of my own skin or drown myself in a bottle of Russia's finest. The cafeteria was starting to clear out, so I took the opportunity to quickly run in and grab some essentials.

As I made my way back to the Novice dorms I could see a dim light casting through the stain glass window at the top of the church. I shook my head knowing he was probably still up there, pouring over books and parchment. I considered stopping to check in on Christian but seeing how last time he threatened to burn me where I stood, despite being in a church, I decided against it.

When I finally approached Rose's door one of the regular Guardians on rotation was standing watch. I tossed him an apple and he threw me a curt nod in return before biting into it.

Several days had passed since I first entered her room, and I was still the only one permitted to see Rose. I stepped in without any objections and shut the door behind me, switching the tray I was carrying into the other hand. She was sitting at the top of her bed with a contemplative look on her face, tearing through the same book she'd been looking at for the past three days. I plopped down on the bed beside her and set the tray of food above her book.

"I told you I'm not hungry," her usual response.

"That's funny, I didn't make you out to be the anorexic type Little Dhampir. Your bear-like eating habits were actually quite charming." She rolled her eyes and continued her pensive musing. I snagged a grape off the tray and plopped it into my mouth. "Find anything new?"

She let out a frustrated sigh and slammed the book shut. "Ugh no! I've read through this damn book a dozen times and there's nothing." I could see the defeated look on her face masked by anger.

"Well you know you could always go talk to-"

"No." She interrupted my fleeting argument as if it was becoming second nature. "I can't face Christian yet. I need more time to figure out what happened." She grabbed her damp hair and started twisting it into a lazy braid. "I think we should start now," she said as she subtly grabbed a piece of toast from the tray and began nibbling at it. I let out a satisfied smile before repositioning myself in front of her.

After everything that happened that day Rose had, what some would call, a mental breakdown and was experiencing difficulty remembering all the details of the events that occurred. At first, she was happy to be rid of the memories, but I could see in her aura that something inside her was telling her she needed to remember. I had been working with her to try and bring them back, which was proving to be more difficult than reversing compulsion. It was closer to healing than any other aspect, an element of Spirit I hadn't quite mastered yet.

"Alright, Little Dhampir," I put her small, yet strong hands in mine and stared directly into her exotic eyes. "Let's begin."

DPOV

Songs: Livin on the Edge - Aerosmith

Fury coursed through my veins as each hit landed on the bag. The gym was my only refuge from the outside scrutiny and pestering questions that raced through my mind, and I had started to see more of that place than my own quarters. The other Guardians had stopped offering to spar with me after I almost broke someone's arm in the heat of a fight, so I was reduced to punching holes in the ratted excuses for punching bags.

Sweat was dripping down my face, the loose strands from my ponytail sticking to my cheeks. I'd lost track of how long I had been in this corner inflicting my torture onto the stationary villain in front of me. It had been six excruciating days and she was still refusing to see me. I didn't just want to see her. I needed to see her. To hold her in my arms and tell her how sorry I was for not protecting her best friend and begging for her forgiveness. But I knew she needed time.

After I lost Ivan, I was lost. I wanted to forget the world, forget him so the pain would go away. But now I cherished every memory I had with him. I hated that Rose was going through that, if not worse. Lissa wasn't just her friend, they were bonded. She was Rose's only true family. I had hoped that when the time came, she would finally be ready to open up to me and let some shred of light back into her life. But no. She chose him. She opened up to him. Ivashkov.

I slammed my right fist into the center of the bag with a resounding crack. "Блядь!" My knuckles were bare and bleeding, the bag split down the middle with padding oozing out. "Worthless piece of—"

"Woah Belikov!" Emil approached me from behind and slapped me on the back. "That's what, your third this week? Maybe you should give it a rest until our inventory can keep up."

When I heard that Rose had allowed someone to finally enter her room I raced over to the dormitory. There was already a Guardian posted outside of her door in the same position I had left just a few hours prior. Before I could even get my hand on the brass knob, the Guardian informed me that she wasn't allowing anyone else in; only Ivashkov. I could have easily taken him down for trying to stand between me and my Roza, but my anger was quickly replaced by hurt at the realization that she would rather see him than me. I went to the gym to hit out my frustrations and hadn't stopped since.

I bent down to my gym bag and began wrapping up my hand to hide the blood from Emil. I didn't need to give those gossiping pigs more fuel to burn. "I see you're still not in the talkative mood," he pressed.

"Well, you better change that pretty quickly because Petrov wants to see you." I turned to look at him slightly rattled. I knew this was coming. After my reaction to Rose's episode, she pulled me aside and told me we would be having a discussion. I hadn't exactly been low-profile at the time, but it was the last thing on my mind when I saw Rose in that state.

I assumed Alberta had been too wrapped up in everything else going on that she had forgotten about it, but unfortunately that wasn't the case. I knew there was much to discuss but wasn't sure if I was ready to face the consequences yet. If they decided to fire me and force me off campus, I didn't know how I would ever be able to get to Rose. I couldn't avoid it any longer though. I had to face my transgressions and come clean to her. I respected Guardian Petrov too much to lie anymore, and I owed it to Roza.

I gave Emil a nod, grabbed my things, and headed out the gym towards Alberta's office to receive my judgement. One thing was for sure, no matter what the outcome was I wouldn't give up on my Roza.

RPOV

Songs: Limbs – Widowspeak, Take It All - Ruelle

Adrian was breathing heavily and looked worse for the wear. His efforts were admirable, but I could tell we weren't going to make any more progress.

"Alright, that's enough for now." He looked slightly disappointed, but I could tell he was relieved. We had been at this for days and I still wasn't any closer to accessing my memories. I had bits and pieces of what happened, mostly flashes of excruciating pain, but I needed to know the rest. As much as I wanted to keep everything about that day locked away in the deepest parts of my memory, something was telling me I had to pull them out. Besides the fact that eventually the pitying looks would turn into investigative questions, not only from the Guardian Council but from Christian as well, I owed it to Lissa to honor her last moments.

I unconsciously swiped a piece of bacon off the tray on my bed and shoved it into my mouth. When I looked up Adrian was wearing that cocky grin of his. "Don't look so pleased with yourself Ivashkov, you're still failing at this."

He chuckled and ran his hand through his perfectly messy hair. "Well, I see you haven't completely lost your charm." His sarcasm wasn't lost on me and I attempted a tight smile in return, failing miserably.

"I'm sorry, I know you're trying. I just know there's something there. Something important that I need to remember."

He sat there for a moment looking at me like a dog that was about to get in trouble for chewing up my favorite pair of shoes. "What Adrian? If you have something to say, just let it out."

He rubbed his face preparing himself for whatever wrath he thought he'd receive for his next words. "It's not just me Rose. I can access the memories, but you're not letting me in." I opened my mouth ready to put him in his place for accusing me of not trying as hard as he was, but he held up his hand interrupting my outburst. "Hold on, hold on. I'm not saying you're doing it on purpose or anything, but there's still a part of you that's scared to relive that day." I thought about what he said for a minute before responding.

"I'm not afraid of anything anymore Adrian."

He shook his head thoughtfully, "You are the single bravest person I know Little Dhampir." He brushed his thumb across my jaw. His touch was so light I almost didn't feel it until I saw his hand return to his lap. "And admitting to being afraid doesn't make you any less." He had that nonsensical look about him that Spirit sometimes brought on, but somehow his words still settled me.

"I want to try something else. Do you trust me?" I nodded my head apprehensively and he slowly brought his hands up to either side of my face. I was skeptical of his intentions at first, but he had been completely sober since we started working on getting my memories back, despite his constant desire to drown out my blackened aura. I could see how hard it was to be around me and it only proved his seriousness towards achieving our goal.

"Close your eyes." I eyed him one last time before shutting them and took a deep breath. "I want you to think about that day, right after you left me and Eddie. Hold that moment in your mind." I could see Eddie sitting in front of me, his hands fisted in the grass. He had tears in his eyes, but I felt no sympathy for him. I felt nothing. The courtyard was in chaos, but we were perfectly still in that moment staring each other down. I turned on my heel to run away, but something was stopping me. I was stuck in that courtyard, in that memory. I looked around the courtyard to see what was keeping me there, and furrowed my brow as things started to get a little hazy. Adrian began to speak again, but his voice sounded far away like it was playing in a dream.

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration," He spoke slowly and purposely.

"I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path." I looked down in my memory and touched the blue eye pendant my mother had given me. Adrian's voice echoed in my mind as his magic wrapped around me. "Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."

Suddenly a river of memories began cascading through my mind. It was only sounds at first, but quickly warped into faces and images rushing by in a frenzied rhythm. They flowed through me fluidly as I relived those moments all over again. The warmth of Spirit surrounded me as they passed by.

Then came the pain.

Not just the emotional torment I had been living with the past week; real, physical pain. A bite, a snap, a tear, burning...so much burning. But I held on, I couldn't stop now. I had to know what happened.

When they finally finished pouring out, I opened my eyes to find that Adrian and I were both crying, tears streaming down our faces. He had felt everything I just had, and it was almost too much for him to bear. I wouldn't blame him for drowning himself in a bottle tonight.

I could see it all so clearly now, there was nothing keeping me in that courtyard. I sprinted to the Guardian Building where I knew they would be meeting to discuss the aftermath. A few startled faces turned to me as I burst through the doors. I made a beeline straight to a table where Alberta and Dimitri were huddled with a group of other Guardians in a heated discussion. I could hear pieces of their conversation as I approached. "Where could they have come from?" "How did they possibly get in?" Alberta looked up to see me striding towards her, "Rose not now, this is-"

"They have Lissa!" Those three words. I felt like collapsing right there as I said them. How could I have let this happen? I had to get to her. I had to bring her back safe. The Guardians stared at me in disbelief until one I didn't recognize spoke up. "Princess Vasilisa Dragomir?"

"Yes! One of the Strigoi from the Elementary campus got her. We have to hurry. We have to save her!" I was speaking so frantically I was practically shaking. The group looked around at each other as if they were hoping someone else had an answer. I was on the verge of ripping their heads off before his calm, velvet voice broke my rage.

"We can set up a perimeter around here," Dimitri was pointing to a map of the school grounds and surrounding area laying on the table in front of him. "This is where the majority retreated. That will be our best bet." My breathing slightly calmed as he formulated a plan, but I knew our chances were slim without an exact location.

That's it!

With all the commotion going on I had forgotten to try the bond again. "Hold on." I stepped back from the table and pushed myself into her mind. I was right. She wasn't blocking me out anymore. In fact, she was searching for me. She was terrified, surrounded by impenetrable blackness. I could hear echoing voices around her, but any shadow was dissolved into the surrounding darkness.

"It's cold and almost pitch black," I voiced my observations to my silent audience. Lissa started moving her hands to try to identify her surroundings and she could feel cool wetness on smooth rocks in both directions. "I think I can hear dripping water. It smells dank and she's surrounded by rocks. A cave maybe?"

I slipped out her mind for a moment to move to the map. "Are there caves in the area?" Alberta quickly surveyed the map. She started at the point Dimitri had pointed out earlier and brushed the area with her fingers until she stopped at the base of what looked like a mountain nearby. "Yes, here," she pointed. "The longest chambers were about half a mile long, but we believed that landslides had blocked both entrances a while back." The Guardian from the fight earlier, Emil, spoke up. "Clearing those wouldn't be too difficult with Strigoi strength." Another Guardian looked at me like I was nuts, "How would she know that?"

"Look there's no time to explain we have to get there now. We have to hel—AAHH!" I was yanked into Lissa's head as a searing pain shot into her neck. She was being bitten and I fell to one knee as the sharp fangs sank deeper into her. "LISSA!" My throat felt hoarse from my pleading screams. "He's biting her!" I could feel her fear coursing through me as it mirrored my own.

At that moment I no longer felt like I was in her head observing. I was her. I could feel warm blood oozing down my neck, pale hair resting on my cheek as my attacker continued his assault. "No! Get off of her!"

"Rose? Is that you?" Her sweet voice called out to me, but her lips hadn't moved. Was I imagining it?

"Liss. Liss, can you hear me?"

"Rose! Rose, I'm so sorry. I should've stayed put I'm so sorry." I don't know if it was our combined fear, the blood loss, or something else induced by the frantic use of Spirit magic but the bond had finally opened up to her.

"Liss don't worry. I'm coming to get you. I won't leave you!"

Our attacker pulled back his fangs for an instant to look us straight in the eyes. It was the same Strigoi I had fought in the battle. Rage coursed through me, and Lissa whimpered as my images from earlier passed through her mind. "He wants to kill me Rose. He said he would be revered for claiming the last Dragomir."

"I won't let that happen Liss. I know where you are. I'll get to you." I tried to put as much gusto in my voice as I could muster, but she could feel my panic.

"Don't worry my sweet princess," the Strigoi moved to brush a stray hair from our face. "This will all be over soon." He smiled at us. His horrifying lips curled almost to his ears revealing a mouthful of crimson soaked teeth, excess blood dripping down the sides of his jaw as he spoke. I felt a jolt of fear from Lissa shoot through us just as he lunged forward to sink his teeth into the open wound on our neck again. We simultaneously cried out at the familiar pain; then, just as suddenly as the venomous bite stung, overwhelming pleasure wrapped around us. I had felt the endorphin high many times from Lissa's bite, but this was multiplied ten folds. Lissa's body went limp as paralyzing bliss flowed through it, her mind racing between terror and ecstasy.

Her body clung to that wondrous shock, but I could feel her emotions start to recognize the inevitable truth. "Rose. Tell Christian I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Tears were filling our eyes and they were starting to become heavy.

"No Liss don't talk like that. Just hold on. Hold on," I pleaded.

Our lips parted as the rapturous euphoria enveloped Lissa, a breathy reply that was softer than a whisper finally escaping her, "I love you Rose." Blackness filled our vision and I was pulled back into my body.

I looked ahead to see the Guardians crowded around me with stares of astonishment and fear. "We have to go now," I jolted up. "She's still alive." Alberta placed her hand on my shoulder with a mournful look on her face "Rose..."

"Don't! She's still out there. I have to get to her." I shoved passed the circle and headed towards the door. I heard someone call out my name with heavy footsteps behind me, but I refused to look back. There was no way in hell they would stop me from getting to her. I ran as fast as my legs could carry me. All those early morning runs had prepared me for this day. The cold wind was whipping past my face as I raced across the school grounds. I had to get to her. I had to save her. It wasn't too late. I bounded towards the back of the school where the Strigoi had entered from, the tree line was in my sight. But just as I crossed the wards I was hit by a brick wall. No, not brick...fire.

I was paralyzed by it as the burning sensation coursed through my veins. My blood was boiling in my skin and I collapsed on the ground writhing in pain. I could hear voices above me, strong hands grabbing hold of me, but I couldn't stop thrashing as the fire tore at every part of my being. Just when I thought the pain of the burning would finish me off, I felt my body tearing in two. I screamed out for it to stop, begging for reprieve from my torture. The tearing continued as claws pulled at my insides and split me down the middle. I heard an earsplitting snap as the final pull subsided and I grew still as the dead. The pain had finally ceased, and I felt empty and cold all over. A chill ran through every piece of me from my legs and fingertips to my skull.

I could faintly hear someone calling out to me. That voice. His voice. I looked up to see Dimitri hovering over me with desperation and panic on his face. "Rose. Roza." His voice was shaky and unsure. I could feel my shoulders starting to warm under his touch. No.

"No!" I looked him in the eyes and manifested my thoughts as loud as my cracked voice would allow.

"We should've been there! We were supposed to protect her! It was our duty!" He seemed shocked by my enraged reaction and tried to calm me down. "No, no, no! You should've been there! You should've been there!" At this point, I didn't know if I was talking to him anymore or myself. All I knew was my best friend was gone, and I had failed her. Another pair of hands grabbed my thrashing limbs and began picking me up off the ground. Hot tears of rage coated my face. I screamed and screamed as they pulled me back from him, leaving Dimitri kneeling on the ground with heart-wrenching hurt in his eyes.

Author's Note: Hey everyone! Phew, that was a monster of a chapter. I plan on updating around once a week but with the holidays coming up this weekend I couldn't leave y'all hanging, so I decided to get this one out there a little early. As you can tell, this chapter jumped around from several POVs but that won't always be the case. Eventually, it will narrow down to one or two in each chapter but there are a lot of interesting perspectives in the beginning of this story that need a voice.

I have had some people reach out asking if this will be a Romitri story and I feel like I should clarify here that yes it will be. I love them so much and it kills me to tear them apart like this, but Romitri is definitely the endgame. That doesn't mean Rose won't get some help along the way though ;).

Thanks to everyone out there who is reading!

**After publishing this a reviewer was kind enough to point out a giant mistake I made. The poem Adrian recites comes from a great author, Frank Herbert, that I completely forgot to credit here. Thank you, reviewer, for pointing this out! Adrian can be quite poetic at times, but I can't give his mind (or mine) credit for those beautiful words.**