Based off of Jigsaw vs GLaDOS by Epic Rap Battle Parodies
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF POKEMON!
Bittercold
vs.
Dark Matter!
BEGIN!
Dark Matter:
StOOop, SNow MisER, afTer aLL, you'Re gOOd at frEEzIng,
And thE Winds that yoUR bReaKIng are mORe fOul thAn a WEEzing
YoU'rE the sEttINg of thE livE actIOn veRsIOn of The Grinch
Your HP in thIS bATtle wOn't be restOREd in thIs pINch
LIkE a BAsILIsk, I stONE evEryOne whO defIEs mE
BUt I thINK I'll banISh yOU bAck to yOUr Gates to Infinity
CrAck your Glacier Palace like Scrat, do it fASter than the huMAn
ThEN I'll sNAp Off yOUr arMs in frONt of YOur bOYfrIEnd Kyurem
It's surVIVal of thE fittEST whEn thERE's just oNe coMMon fOOd sOUrce
You cOUldn't beat Tim Curry siNGiNg aboUT Toxic Intercourse
YOU're jUSt a killer snOWflAke that cAMe dOwn frOM OUter spACe
And yOU cAn't EVen tAlk bACk, so IN yoUR non-EXistEnt fAce.
Bittercold:
It's quite true, I have no lines in my game
But the fact that I need no words only bolsters my fame
You're motivation is lamer than Pancham's bullying
You're ugly face is the only thing here that is worrying
You mind control pawns, you're an Orichalcos rip off
I've seen more dignified defeat in a Team Rocket blast off
I've created a cult with only sheer force of will
Loyal servants beat mind slaves by 93 million miles
A desire to loose lay within your very being
To my core, my desire for this planet was deleting
You call yourself Dark Matter, let you're attracted to sunlight
And when shattered you fall down upon the word as snow-like light
You never thought things through, you always thought inside the ball
I had the simpler plan, it took me way longer to fall
The Tree of Life's hardly as kill-able as the Great Deku Tree
Subtle toxic winds are smarter than your stoning sprees.
Dark Matter:
YoU ArE so wEAk, so RUn Rudolph, hIde yOUr glOWing cORe in sHAme
Your so cALLed "loyal" cUlt was wEAk, and you wERe to blAMe
My SHell pAcks more HP than yOUr Glacial Body EvEr coULd
WhY dOn't you flY to tHE Sun aNd dO everyone sOmE gOOd
It's Time I EXErTed my Force, I'lL Surround yOU With Injustice
Cast mY Shadow, Mow yOu Down, vaPOriZe yoUR vEry sUbsTANce
My Animosity wIll Shoot yoUr lights OUt aNd Blow Away yoUR Surrounding paLAce
I lIVe on in thE hEArts of PoKEmoN, kEEping unIVersal bALanCe
Bittercold:
I'll Super Smash this Master Core clone, send it flying off the screen
And if you're in outer space, then that means no one will hear you scream
Your fancy moves don't scare me, the Winds of Despair are all I need
At least my lair self-destructed, yours came back rainbowed and freed
This Yami Marik sound-alike just doesn't like the cold
Or maybe he doesn't want to loose to a game he thinks is old
And you shouldn't have brought up Kyurem, for that you're going to pay
I'll bring up how you and Yveltal played Fifty Shades of Grey
WHO WON?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC! RAP!
SMASH! CRASH!
BATTLES OF POKEMON!
KELDEO THE CRITIC- SEASON 4 FINALE!
POKEMON SUPER MYSTERY DUNGEON REVIEW!
TUNE IN NEXT WEEK!
References
The Year Without a Santa Claus
The Grinch (2000)
Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Gates to Infinity
Ice Age
Fern Gully
Yu-Gi-Oh: Waking the Dragons
Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
Super Smash Bros. 3DS/WiiU
Alien
Yu-Gi-Oh: Battle City
Fifty Shades of Grey