Pairing: Eren/Mikasa

Setting: In canon; Before they leave for Shiganshina

Rating: K+

Words: 2062

Notes: Okay, guys, here it is. The very last entry for this set! When I started this two years ago I never in a million years it would end in 101 chapters, and 600 reviews. Like it blows my mind. Thank all of you so much for giving me such encouragement to keep going all the way to the end! I never had a fandom that was so sweet and so supportive before. I cannot be more appreciative for the way you've made me smile, challenged me, and made me feel like all the weeks and months of writing I do are all worth it. It's bittersweet that I let my very first piece go, the stepping stones I took to get where I am now.

That being said it's still not goodbye! I have zombie AU I'm still working on, and the massive amount of stories I post on tumblr (that will be added into collections here whenever I decide my time in the fandom is complete ^^) . I have the AU challenge set to complete too plus a few other projects to help on.

I saved this one for the very last one and it's very much inspired by the whole collection here and of course the song I named for the title, "Feels Like Home" by Chantal Kreviazuk. It's a song I knew was theirs from day one of my loving this ship, and it will forever be a song close to my heart after everything I put into this set.

Thank you guys so much. I'd never have grown like I did if it wasn't for your support!

It Feels Like Home to Me

Eren wasn't sure what time it even was anymore; past midnight probably, before dawn definitely. Yet even as he stared at the moon outside the window knowing it would turn to a sun far too soon he couldn't fall asleep. They'd be leaving for Shiganshina soon, and who knows if they'd ever come back. Months and months of training and planning and Eren had no idea what would even come of it. They had to try of course and he wanted to try but he knew deep down it very well may end where it all began.

Was he okay with that? Guess that was the question of the hour. It wasn't his first time going into something and wondering if he was gonna come out alive, but this seemed so much heavier. He knew the type of mission this was, he very well knew who he'd be meeting in his ruined village. This is what everything led up to.

Eren reached up to rub his hands over his eyes. Even though he tried not to move too much, the action must've been just enough to make Mikasa stir next to him. He looked over to see her still sleeping face nestled into the pillow, the rest of her body bundled under his blankets to keep warm. It didn't look like he woke her up at all thankfully. Without even thinking he reached over to brush some of her bangs from her face so they didn't tickle her and really wake her up.

Mikasa, who almost constantly had her forehead wrinkled in worry, always looked so peaceful when she slept. When the nightmares didn't strike, when the body aches weren't so strong, when the worry of the next day didn't stress her too much, she could just rest. She pushed herself for him, for so many people, that Eren loved these moments the best. The times she could just breathe and take a break from the hell that surrounded them every day.

He didn't just let her stay in his room because she still had nightmares or because it was habit at this point. He did it so he could make sure she was safe, that she was peacefully sleeping. Eren knew he couldn't do a lot of things right, but watching over her, that was something he would do for as long as he could.

"I remember when you used to sleep in my bed every night," he murmured softly. "When we were kids, do you remember that?"

There was no answer of course; she was sound asleep. He leaned his head back against the headboard of the bed eyes still looking down at her.

"I do. Even if you thought I was asleep when you did, I never was. I always woke up when you cried and waited for you in case going to you would embarrass you. You always did have a strong sense of pride, never wanted anyone to see you cry, see you upset. You wanted to show the world your brave face and be strong for me and Armin."

More light breaths came from her lips, eyes still closed.

"I'm okay with dying, Mikasa," he spoke, his voice no higher than a whisper; mainly because he knew she'd probably hit him if she heard him talking like that. "Really, if that is what it takes to save you, Armin, everyone, then I'd do it in a heartbeat. If I knew you'd be safe, then it'd be worth it."

With the amount of times Eren nearly was killed, he was very well aware of his own mortality, that even with his enhanced body, his quick healing, it couldn't save everything. Shifters could still be killed just as Titans could. He was young, barely even sixteen; it seemed like such a short life when it was put like that. It was, sixteen years out of a possible of eighty seemed like nothing , just a scratch in the sand. Yet, they had been through so much that it seemed like these past years were triple what they actually were.

His mom always said they'd go when it was their time to go. Sometimes that time felt so unfair and so robbed. How was it her time to go when Eren still needed her? When Mikasa still needed a mom? How was that right? He spent so long being angry and bitter over lives taken to early but now that he faced his own future going back to his hometown at his own young age, he understood what his mom meant. Her time was when Eren and Mikasa needed to get to safety; his mom made her time but gave them life. Eren knew if that same time came for him, he'd give it too.

"What do you think comes after this?" he murmured. "Some of those religions, they believe in a heaven and a hell, one for good and one for bad. I guess I'm not very sure where we stand. I'm not sure if there even is a God let alone what he'd think of what we turned this world into. Titans, killing Titans who were actually once presumably innocent people."

Mikasa still didn't answer which was fine, he was more or less just voicing the thoughts in his head with no expectation for her to hear them or even return a conversation. Just having her there was comforting enough.

He couldn't imagine his life without her there with him every step of the way. They met by sheer miracle. If Eren and his dad hadn't gone the exact time that they did, Mikasa would've been gone and Eren would've never gotten the chance to have her in his life. God, what a horrible life that would've been. He had Armin, he had his friends, the Scouting Legion but Mikasa, she was different. She was a ray of sunlight in this whole shitty place. He'd be dead ten times over without her.

"Do you think there're other lives?" he mused. "Like different worlds completely where we grow up with no Titans, no fighting. Where our parents are still alive, our friends we lost still there. Where there's no dread every morning, no living in fear."

It really did seem like a dream. Maybe his parents would've had a bigger house and maybe his dad would've been a doctor at a fancy hospital. Maybe his parents would've even had more kids; maybe Eren would've had a little sister to take care of. Maybe Armin would've lived next to Eren, Mikasa too. She would've grown up with her parents, who got to see her become the amazing woman she was. Or maybe it was never meant to be and she still lost her parents but his mom and dad would still be there ready to take her in and love her like she was their own. Or maybe Levi would be there, and he would take her in, giving her a warm home where Eren could visit whenever he wanted to.

There in those worlds he could've told her exactly how he felt about her, how much he always loved her no matter how poorly he treated her in the past, how badly he misread her. They could grow up together but not in the military, not fighting. They could play, go to school, do whatever they wanted to do and never have to worry about their bodies being broken by strong hands and large teeth. They could grow up and they could get married and have a family of their own, just like Mikasa always wanted.

Or they may have never met in childhood. Maybe they meet by happenstance; on the street, in a restaurant, at school, at work, at a party. They wouldn't have all the same relationship they have now but Eren was pretty sure no matter where he saw those beautiful eyes of hers that kind and loving spirit, he'd still be drawn to her. He'd still find her even then.

Here in this world it seemed like such a farfetched dream, something that was never meant to be but maybe in another world, another life it was normal. It was simply the way it was.

"I like that."

Eren nearly jumped at Mikasa's sudden voice cutting through his thoughts. He looked down at her so see her still all bundled up but her eyes wide awake and watching him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

She shook her head. "You didn't, I was already half awake."

He extended his arm to her and Mikasa easily moved into him, resting her head on his shoulder. Eren sighed as her warm presence next to him started to east the knots in his stomach. He supposed it was too good to think Mikasa would be able to sleep through the night with so much going on around them.

"Do you really think there're other worlds? Other lifetimes?" Mikasa asked though when Eren looked down at her she was staring out the window next to them.

Eren shrugged. "I have no idea. It's a nice thought though, huh."

"Do you think everyone would be there again?"

"Probably, or out there somewhere."

She paused for a moment. "Would we remember this life?"

"I'd guess not. I mean we don't remember if we've had any other life but this one so I'd assume it would be kinda the same thing."

She was quiet as she laid against him, one hand on his chest and the other tucked underneath her somewhere. In fact she was so quiet Eren thought she might've fallen asleep again but when he looked at her she was still watching the moon out the window.

"What if we wake up in a different life and you aren't there?" Her voice was so quiet Eren almost didn't hear her.

"Then I'll just have to find you again."

Mikasa chuckled lightly and it brought a small smile to his lips. He loved hearing her laugh, no matter how soft it was. "How would you know? If you don't remember how would you know to find me?"

"Mikasa," he said, his fingers trailing against her shoulder, tracing small circles against the fabric of her shirt. "Some things can transcend even lifetimes."

"You heard that from Armin."

"Yeah, I did, but I think he's right." He let his eyes close as he leaned his head gently against hers. "I think I'd know that something was missing, that something was wrong. I might not know who or what, but I'd know you were missing."

"How?" she breathed.

"Easy," he murmured back. "Everything feels right in place when I'm with you, it just feels like its where I'm supposed to be, you know?"

She nodded against him. "It feels like home."

"It does," he said, a smile on his lips again. "Wherever you are, that's home." That's the way it had always been. As much as he remembered the time before Mikasa came to stay with them, at the same time it felt like he never lived his life without her and God, he would never want to.

She was quiet, probably falling back asleep again and Eren understood. His eyes were already closed, his limbs heavy as the late night finally hit him, or it was her comforting touch that lulled his anxieties away. He had no idea what he'd ever do without her. A lifetime without her seemed so insane. How could he ever live without the one person who never gave up on him, who believed in him when he didn't even believe in himself? Who gave him strength when he didn't even think he could move on and who always reminded him that this world, as shitty as it was, it could never be all bad because she was here.

"Mikasa?" His voice was barely a whisper.

"Yeah?"

"I'll always find you, you know that right? In this lifetime and in any other." He could hear her breath hitch in her throat but if she was looking at him he didn't know.

"Promise?"

"I promise." He left it at that, letting her fall back asleep against but the words rang out in his head, searing them into his mind so he'd never forget.

I love you in this lifetime and I'd love you in a million more.