OOO

"So she just ran off?"

Jasper was waiting for me at home and proceeded to follow me around the house until I agreed to talk to him. I got halfway through the story and then Alice came in to my room so I had to go back and give her a short recap.

I confirm that this is exactly what happened with a short nod. Jasper puffs out his cheeks like a squirrel. "That is so weird!" he says.

Thanks Jas, that's not very helpful. I shrug my shoulders. "Happens to James Bond all the time". I get a mild punch for my remark and Alice screws up her face and says "Oh please".

I'm actually feeling a lot better about all this since I spoke to Bella. "I admit I was a little freaked out when you first told me about Jessica but I talked to Bella about it in Biology and I've come up with a plan."

"You spoke to Bella?" asks Alice immediately.

"Yes" I admit, a little defensively although I'm not sure why I have this response. "I was still weirded out in Biology and I had to explain a bit. She was great. She's a very nice girl".

Alice says nothing, merely plays with one of the large number of chains she is wearing around her neck. I wonder what her issue is with Bella?

"What's the plan?" asks Jasper.

"I'm going to work out who it was" I tell him, still watching Alice. Twin continues to twirl her chains around, her face impassive. "It's probably someone from our year. I'll go through a process of elimination and the person who can't account for their movements must be her."

"And then what are you going to do?" wonders Alice.

I'm slightly taken aback. I hadn't actually got beyond trying to work out who it was. "I'm not sure" I say with a frown.

"Do it again with the lights on?" asks Jas with a laugh, earning himself a return shoulder punch from me although the thought of kissing whoever this turns out to be again is definitely a motivating factor.

"How are you going to start?" asks Alice.

I hadn't even thought about this. "Well, I can exclude all the guys in the year for a start. Definitely a girl" I comment with a side grin at Jas who has heard more details than Alice.

"Did she have long or short hair?" asks Jasper. My sister makes a sickening admiring 'ooooh' noise. "That's a good one!" she says.

Actually it is a good thought. "Definitely long hair" I conclude, recalling brushing it off her shoulders to kiss her neck.

"Was it curly or straight?" asks Alice.

Nope, that's not going to help me. "It was dark, Alice" I shrug. "I wouldn't know". She rolls her eyes and then opens them wide half way through as if she's been stung. "Oooooooooh!" she exclaims about 50 decibels louder than before. "I can solve this for you! What was she wearing?"

Oh God. Twin notices clothes in the same exacting and clever way that I … don't.

I hedge a bit, citing the darkness again but she is relentless. "Well was she wearing a skirt or pants?"

Ummm… I'm genuinely trying to work this out. "Pants, I think" I say slowly, "No wait there was definitely a skirt bit. Maybe both? Is there some type of pants that has a skirt involved as well?"

I earn myself another huge eye roll.

"What about the colour?" she persists "Yes, I've got the message that it was dark but did you see anything?"

"Actually there was a moment. When she asked me to close my eyes just before she left I didn't really do it. When she opened the door and ran out, I was looking the wrong way because the chair was facing into the cupboard but I turned around and just saw her for a second."

"And?" prompts Alice.

I shake my head disgustedly. "I really didn't see much. She was most of the way out the door. I think she was wearing something red."

Alice regards me disgustedly. "Red" she says.

"Yup"

She sighs in exaggerated fashion. "No-one was wearing red yesterday, Hopeless. Unusual but true. Red is not in this season for some reason. Navy blue is everywhere and graphic prints are big as well as stripes continuing from last season but red is definitely out."

She ignores the fact that my eyes have glazed over at this diatribe. A glance at Jas shows that he is in a similar fog.

"What, are you saying it wasn't a girl from our year?" I ask. I'm actually a bit worried about this. Bella made a big assumption here really. If Alice rules it out immediately then my whole plan is sunk.

"No-ooo" she says considering. "She might have been wearing something red as an underneath layer so I didn't see it. You both took some clothes off, right?" When I confirm this she asks me "Did it feel like cotton, wool, tencel, elastane, rayon, knitted, woven…"

I have to cut this short. "Alice. She definitely wasn't wearing cottonwool, and that's the best I can do. I wasn't really analyzing her clothes…"

"Pity" she snaps back "Or you would have realized it wasn't Jessica right away".

"What was Jessica wearing?" I ask as a challenge "Can you tell me?"

"Assymetrical neckline top in blush pink from Old Navy" she replies promptly "With her best A&F jeggings and a heritage belt from last year. Wedge heel boots and those drop earrings that she loves from Kleins. Overall effect was a bit tarty. You know the chic but available/desperate look?"

I don't admit it but I'm sort of impressed. Then again, she could be making it all up. I look for some male support to help me out. "Is she right Jas?"

As I expected, Jasper shakes his head and shrugs his shoulders helplessly. "Probably" he says, the useless heap.

There's the truth, the only people who really notice clothes are girls. When the girls at school get all dressed up, it's really for each other's benefit I think. No self-respecting guy notices any of it except for the amount of cleavage on view.

I manage to clear them out of my room once Alice starts criticizing my fashion sense for the millionth time. I've got things to do.