Matthais Unidostres presents. . .
A League of Fannon Critics Production. . .
From the clifftop Keldeo stood upon, he felt as if he could gaze upon all of Unova. The land seemed to spread endlessly around him as he stood there, on that clifftop, his mind focused on what he was about to do; the journey he was about to embark upon; the wrong he would soon set out to right.
"Did you think it'd be cool if you stole away quietly in the early morning hours?" Terrakion said from behind.
Keldeo nodded as he turned around. "Something like that," he remarked.
Terrakion "hmmed" in response, and he walked over to Keldeo's side and looked out at the scenery before them. He admired the view for a long moment, then he said, "So, where are you off to?"
"Johto," Keldeo replied.
Terrakion turned his head to Keldeo in shock. "Johto?" he echoed in a surprised tone of voice.
Keldeo nodded, "I need to go see someone about something. Something really important. You see, the whole thing is kinda my fault anyway."
Terrakion stared at Keldeo, thinking long and hard about the situation. Then, he gave a sigh and said, "You know, Keldeo. If this had been before your battle with Kyurem, I'd stop you right there and bring you back immediately. But now, all things considered . . . well. . ." Terrakion looked back out at the scenery, and with a smile he said, "Good luck."
Keldeo's straight serious face gave well to an appreciative smile. Then, without another word, equipped with his bag, off Keldeo went.
Keldeo the Critic
Season 4 FINALE
Keldeo made good time as he crossed over various landscapes, jumping over rocks and fences, and using Hydro Pump to fly over chasms. He only had to get help once via a ship heading across the open water to get to the Johto region.
It was only after such a long journey that Keldeo finally stood outside the remains of the burned Brass Tower in Johto. He took a deep breath, and resolutely walked forth into the structure. Focused on his goal, Keldeo quickly went down to the basement level, and saw the three Legendary Beasts gathered together in the center of the room, all looking at something on their laptop screen.
"Alright! This plan will totally make a slave out of Keldeo!" Entei said confidently.
"I don't know, Entei. I mean, we are dealing with the guy who took down Zalton, Reaper, and Santa Christ," Raikou said nervously.
"That'll just make us look better when we beat him," Suicune said smoothly.
"Aha! I like the way you think, brother!" Entei said with a hearty laugh in his voice, "Real Thoughts On: The Legendary Beasts my tail! Alright, so Operation Cyborg begins right-!"
"*Ahem!*" Keldeo said loudly.
The Legendary Beasts turned around fast and stared at Keldeo with wide eyes.
"What!? What are you-?" Entei stammered in shock. Then he snarled and shouted, "GET HIM!"
Raikou and Suicune pounced at Keldeo. The Sword of Justice fell down flat, and the two Legendary Beasts soared over Keldeo and slammed right into the wall behind him.
Entei facepawed and growled.
Keldeo stood back up and said, "Before someone ends up needed another 1-Up from Ho-Oh, would you all mind letting me say one thing?"
Entei put his paw down and snarled at Keldeo, saying, "What is it!?"
Keldeo bowed his head in shame and said, "You guys. . . I'm sorry. . . I'm so sorry."
Entei's eyes bulged, "WHAT!?"
"WHAT!?" Raikou and Suicune shouted as they jumped back and quickly to Entei's side.
"He's crazy! Crazy I tell you!" Raikou said as he got close to Entei.
"I'll distract him. You guys casually walk towards the exit," Suicune said quietly.
Keldeo lifted his head and said, "Trust me, guys, I'm not crazy. In fact, I'd say I've just recently become a lot wiser."
The Legendary Beasts stared at Keldeo in fascination as the Sword of Justice gathered his thoughts and began his monologue.
"You see, guys. When Matthais and I did our Real Thoughts On: The Legendary Beasts chapter, we both thought we had you guys figured out, especially when we witnessed your actions in Super Mystery Dungeon. Matthais and I felt that disliking you, even outright hating you, was not only okay, but deserved. We mocked you, and laughed at you, and we justified all of it."
Keldeo took a trembling breath, his voice cracking as he continued, "But as the story of Super Mystery Dungeon unfolded, not only did we see another side to you all, but we also saw how. . . terrible we were acting. All our negative feelings. . . the hate, the disgust, the bile we were sending out. . . it was all just more fuel for Dark Matter."
As the Legendary Beasts stared at Keldeo in amazement, he indicated the three of the one by one.
"A true Legendary would only let a worthy trainer battle such a majestic and mighty Pokemon as himself," Keldeo said to Entei.
Entei blinked solemnly at Keldeo.
"Many a Legendary have fallen under the combined weight of a villainous team," Keldeo said to Raikou.
Raikou's lips twitched into the tiniest of smiles.
"And the immense, concentrated power of the Time Travel Pokemon, corrupted for the purpose of destruction, is a worthy match for the Aurora Pokemon," Keldeo said to Suicune.
Suicune stood in silence.
"Legendary Beasts of Johto," Keldeo said officially, bowing low before them, "As a fellow Legendary, and a member of the Swords of Justice, I humbly ask for your forgiveness."
"Stand up, Sword of Justice," Entei said immediately.
Keldeo stood back up as the Legendary Beasts approached him.
"You truly are a very honorable Pokemon. Not many Legendaries are able to admit that they were wrong," Entei said.
"It's not really all your fault," Raikou said as he stared at his paws, "We have been bested quite a few times."
"And I ran away from my battle with Kyurem after the other Swords got frozen by him," Keldeo said with a wry smile.
"Everyone really does make mistakes," Suicune said.
Keldeo looked hopefully at the Legendary Beasts and asked, "So, do you all forgive me?"
"Yes."
"Sure!"
"Indubitably."
"YEAH!" Keldeo cheered as he performed a back flip, "Woo-hoo! Alright! This all means so much to me. In fact, I had an idea I was hoping you'd agree to. . ." Keldeo took a second to gather himself together and brace himself, then he asked, "Would you all like to be a part of my Season 4 Finale by helping me count down top 11 best and worst moments in Pokemon Super Mystery Dungeon?"
"That's sounds great!" Raikou shouted, "I'm in!"
Entei appeared amused and said, "Oh, so for once you're going to elaborate on the good parts of a Mystery Dungeon game? I'd be a fool to miss this!"
"Bring it on," Suicune said.
"Don't forget me! The guy you cut out of your revenge plan, forcing me to go it alone so I could be made to fool when my plan crashed and burned!" Victini shouted as he flew in and landed next to Suicune.
"The past is past," Suicune said quickly.
Victini just sighed in response.
"Yes, yes, as long as we learn from it, "Keldeo remarked, "Well then, how about we get started!"
Keldeo quickly set up his laptop, and Victini and the Legendary Beasts gathered around him.
Keldeo the Critic
Season 4 Episode 23: The Top 11 Worst and Best Pokemon Super Mystery Dungeon Moments
Title Card TinyURL: guql55e
"It's me! Keldeo the Critic! I review it so you don't have to!" Keldeo said, "So, as many of you probably have figured, I've played through the newest Mystery Dungeon game, Pokemon Super Mystery Dungeon. I've actually learned a lot of things from that game. One thing being that. . . well. . . I haven't really been very fair to the Legendary Beasts. . ."
Keldeo looked to Suicune to his left, and Raikou and Entei to his right.
"Don't worry about it any longer, Keldeo," Entei said.
"Yeah, it's not all your fault. The Anime never was any good at showing our finest moments," Raikou remarked.
"Thanks, you guys, but Matthais and I had no right to tear into you like I did. I'm just glad we're cool now," Keldeo said in a relaxed manner, "Anyway, another thing I learned from the game is that letting negativity run rampant and spreading around bad feelings can only bring destruction to the world around you. However, trying to deny those negative aspects of the world, or trying to brush it away or keep it bottled up inside you will also lead to disaster as well. So, with that in mind, for my Season 4 Finale, instead of making a 'Top 11 Dumbest' list, I've decided to make two lists! A Top 11 Best list and a Top 11 Worst list."
"OH YEAH!" Victini cheered.
"Who better to help me out with this than the illustrious stars of the game! The Legendary Beasts!" Keldeo cheered.
"Wow. Keldeo's good side is the best side you can be on!" Raikou remarked.
"I'd say doing the worst list first makes sense, so that we can end on a positive note. Everyone good with that?" Keldeo asked. Everyone else nodded, so Keldeo smiled and said, "Good! So if everyone out there is ready for some SPOILERS, let's start off with the Top 11 Dumbest Pokemon Super Mystery Dungeon Moments!" Keldeo said.
Number 11
"The name," Keldeo said.
Entei frowned and said, "What a waste of potential."
"Yeah, the name really doesn't seem to mean anything," Raikou remarked.
"What's wrong with the name?" Victini asked innocently.
"Well, the other games had names that told you something about the game," Keldeo said, "Red Rescue Team, Explorers of Time and Darkness, Gates to Infinity. The titles were connected to plot elements. But this time we just get. . . Super? Huh? It sounds like it's a Super Mario Bros. crossover!"
Keldeo thought for a moment, then smiled and said, "Hey, that actually sounds kinda cool! Like, Bowser comes into the Pokemon world, and some parts are a side-scroller where you play as a Pokemon using attacks like in Pokemon Rumble, then there are parts that are mystery dungeons, then maybe you fight bosses like in a Mario & Luigi RPG-"
"Keldeo, you're on a Buneary trail," Suicune said gently.
Keldeo blinked, and nodded, "Oh yeah, sorry. So, anyway, like I was saying, it's such a lazy title. They could of called it, oh, I don't know. . . Scarves of Harmony."
"Connections of Life," Suicune offered.
"Map of Expeditions," Entei suggested.
"Nexus of Light," Raikou said.
"Expedition of Life!" Victini said cheerfully.
"The Fourth One!" Keldeo exclaimed, "Even that would have been better than just Super. There's a picture of the Tree of Life in the background of the box art, begging for an easy title like Tree of Life at least. But nope. Just Super. It's such a generic and overused term that just doesn't work unless you're naming a Mario game."
Number 10
"No money rewards," Keldeo said, "In fact, the rewards themselves are often few and far between. But the fact that you never get money is kinda disheartening. You have to resort to searching for P in dungeons; making the painful choice of selling items you wish you could just stockpile in the magical, Doctor Who, somehow present in different dimensions Deposit Box; or exchanging Gold Bars for P."
"The way you're reacting, I'm surprised this isn't this higher on the list," Entei said.
Keldeo shrugged and smiled sheepishly, "Well, it's actually a love-hate kinda thing for me. It makes the game a bit harder, because now you can't just buy a load of stuff to get through the dungeons and boss fights. It makes you think about what to do and plan accordingly. So, yeah, I guess I can live with having less money."
Number 9
"No more move training," Keldeo said in disappointment, "It's kinda weird, because moves still 'level up' from use like in Gate to Infinity, but now there aren't any more dojos to train moves faster."
"But Keldeo, doesn't that keep the game from being too easy?" Entei said.
"Not really," Keldeo said, "You could only use a dojo once a day anyway, and the dojos did cost money, so it seemed like a fair trade. Plus, I felt the experience you get from the dojos is small enough so that it doesn't make you too strong too quickly, but big enough so that it feels worth the money and good enough boost to help you take on tougher dungeons."
"What about Hawlucha's Slam School?" Victini asked curiously.
Keldeo smiled and laughed slyly, and he said, "Thanks for bringing that up, Victini!"
Number 8
"Hawlucha's Slam School," Keldeo said with a grin.
"Huh? What's wrong with it?" Victini asked, caught completely off guard.
"It's kinda pointless," Keldeo said, "Sure, you can forget and remember moves there, and you can swap your abilities there too, but those services don't really seem all that important or significant. Now, if you could train a move there once a day like a dojo or something like that, then it would be kinda cool. But nope."
Entei shook his head and said, "I'm sorry, Keldeo, but I'm with Victini. That doesn't really make it bad enough to be on this list."
"You'd be right," Keldeo said, "But what does make it bad is later on in the game when Hawlucha starts teaching moves. Now that sounds pretty good. It's a quick way to learn powerful moves. The only trouble is that the moves are so ridiculously expensive! Why should I have to pay thousands of P just to learn one move. I get that it needs to be set up so that you have to work hard to be able to get the moves so you don't end up breezing through the game one-hit KOing everyone, but I still think the prices are set waaay too high, especially when you realize how long it takes to save up money in this game! Those crazy prices only help to turn a mediocre store into Number 9 on our Top 11 Dumbest List."
Victini shrugged, "Okay, you win. But I kinda think Pokemon using money at all is kinda dumb in itself."
"Hear, hear!" Suicune added.
Number 7
"No V-Waves," Keldeo said.
"And no V-WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!" Victini cried out tearfully.
"I feel your pain, Victini," Keldeo remarked with semi-sarcasm, "V-Waves were pretty cool in Gate to Infinity. It really helped you to plan what dungeon to go to and with which Pokemon, and it's much better than that random 'motivated Pokemon' mechanic. Different V-Waves would strengthen and weaken different Pokemon. It gave a whole new level of strategy to the game, and of course we had the V-Wheel minigame where you can risk your money to try and change the V-Wave to benefit the team you want to use. Taking this feature out really seems like a missed opportunity."
"WAAAAAH! V-WHEEEEEEEEEL!" Victini sobbed.
"ENOUGH!" Suicune roared, scaring Victini straight in an instant.
"I'm good! I'm happy! I'm smiley! See!" Victini said nervously as he put on the biggest smile he could.
Number 6
"Jirachi the what Pokemon?" Keldeo asked aloud.
"Jirachi's the Wish Pokemon, Keldeo," Entei corrected.
"Exactly! So why doesn't the Expedition Society just wish that all the Pokemon turned to stone would be freed? Or that Dark Matter would cease to exist? Why is Jirachi just an astronomer who sleeps a lot?" Keldeo asked in confusion.
Entei thought on this for a moment, then nodded slowly and said, "Yes. . . you have a point there, Keldeo."
"It's the Anthropic Principle," Suicune said.
"Huh?" both Victini and Raikou said.
Keldeo smiled and nodded. "He means that if Jirachi could fix everything just like that, then there would be no conflict, no plot, and no story," Keldeo explained, "But there still needs to be an in-universe reason why Jirachi couldn't just wish everything back to normal. Aside from just using any other Pokemon other than Jirachi, they could have just made up a reason like, 'Dark Matter has been blocking his powers,' or 'It'll be X many years before the time comes where he can grant wishes again.' Come to think of it, Ryu Taylor the Ferret handled Jirachi better in his fanfic Pokemon Mystery Dungeon- The World Rebuilder. And his PMD stories are awesome by the way."
"Too awesome to review?" Victini said with a mischievous look on his face.
"Yes, and too long to review," Keldeo replied seriously.
Number 5
"Celebi the what Pokemon?" Keldeo asked aloud.
"Let me guess. You want to know why Celebi didn't just kill Dark Matter's grandfather or something," Entei said dryly.
Keldeo shrugged, "Again, we see the Anthropic Principle in action. But this actually isn't a big a problem as Jirachi. The reason it's higher on the list is that unlike Jirachi, Celebi is actually key to the plot! It has to be Celebi here because she went back in time to gather information on Dark Matter, and then-"
"SPOILERS!" Zorua shouted as he ran by.
"-she arrives in the nick of time to teleport the heroes out of an inescapable trap. What frustrates me even more is how easy this would have been to fix. Just have someone say that Celebi can only watch the past and not change it because that would make a time paradox that would, oh, I don't know, destroy Temporal Tower, drive Dialga insane, and paralyze the planet! There, not only did I fix Celebi's problems, I also made a cool Explorers of Time/Darkness/Sky reference! How did the writers not think to do this?"
Number 4
"SPOILERS!" Zorua shouted as he ran by again.
"The heroes not jumping into the spring when the villains show up," Keldeo said with a confused expression on his face.
"Keldeo is correct," Suicune said.
Raikou nodded and said, "Yeah. Suicune and I were in that scene, and the more I think about it, the more I realize how stupid it all was."
"What are you all talking about?" Entei asked.
"Okay, so there's a scene where our heroes have arrived at a magical spring with water that can free Pokemon who've been turned to stone," Keldeo explained, "Just then, the villains who have been turning Pokemon to stone turn up. Wouldn't the most logical decision be to jump into the spring? I mean, we get to see a Pokemon get turned to stone, and it appears to be a kind of dark blast attack, like a Shadow Ball. You'd think that would make the protagonists jump into the spring so that if the villains try to blast them, it won't work because they'd be in the spring. You could even satisfy the Anthropic Principle by having an unwinnable boss battle where the villains defeat the protagonists, drag them back out of the spring, and then turn them to stone like that. And if that's too complicated or graphic, then you could just have the villains suck up or vaporize the water during the cutscene right then and there. That's what they end up doing later on anyway, and you'd think we'd be able to see exactly what they did with all that spring water anyway. Did they drink it all? Did they evaporate it? I don't believe it! What did they do with all that water?"
"I gotta admit, Keldeo has a point," Raikou said, "It begs the question, how did they manage to dry up that entire spring?"
Victini grinned cheekily and said, "He must have been a really thirsty Pokemon, that-"
"Don't say the bad guy's name!" Keldeo shouted, "I want to keep the spoilers to a minimum!"
"Aww, you're no fun," Victini pouted.
Number 3
"There are no villains," Keldeo said.
"What are you talking about, Keldeo?" Entei asked in bewilderment.
"All the quote unquote 'antagonists' you fight are being controlled by Dark Matter," Keldeo explained, looking disappointed, "That's no fun. At least in Gates to Infinity Munna and her gang were doing things of their own free will, and Kyurem was driven insane by his visions of the bad future. Just having them be mind controlled is weak story telling. We never even find out exactly why these five Pokemon were mind controlled by Dark Matter in the first place. What were their lives like before? What did they do to get controlled by Dark Matter? Why didn't Dark Matter take control of anyone else? Were they good or bad Pokemon before they got taken over? Did they deserve to get controlled? There's so many questions, and no answers!"
"Don't worry, Keldeo! That's what FanFiction is for!" Victini cheered.
"That's no excuse!" Suicune shouted suddenly.
"Suicune's right, the writers are supposed to actually write characters!" Raikou said.
"But wait, didn't Munna and her gang lack backstory too?" Entei remarked.
Keldeo nodded gravely, "Yeah, they really did. We have no idea exactly how they suffered. But even they had more backstory than the Super Mystery Dungeon villains. And that's really pathetic."
Number 2
"The Pokémon Nexus getting destroyed," Keldeo said.
"But isn't one the plot points of the game completing the Pokémon Nexus?" Victini asked.
"Yes, but that doesn't mean that they had to destroy it, or reference the fact that it's been destroyed several times!" Keldeo exclaimed, "They could have just had it only have one continent on the map, and then you're given the task of completing the rest of it."
"But wouldn't it seem strange that the Expedition Society hadn't already completed the Nexus themselves?" Entei asked.
"Well, they could have set up the Society as something that's only just been started up a few weeks ago or something. Maybe also throw in that Lapras has been out of commission during that time or something," Keldeo suggested, "That would be long enough for the partner to aspire to be a part of it, and short enough for them not to have gotten very far in the Nexus."
"Hmm. That's very clever, Keldeo," Entei said with approval.
"And more importantly, mentioning that it's been destroyed several times already kinda makes the whole thing pointless if it keeps getting destroyed!" Keldeo said in frustration, "Why bother trying to complete it if it keeps getting ruined, forcing us to start over. Sure, it obviously wouldn't happen in the game, but within the world of the game, there's no reason why all that hard work can't just get flushed down the drain."
Keldeo stomped his hooves and said, "And you know what kind of problems get me the maddest? The kind that are easy to fix! All they had to do was omit the part about it being destroyed many times before, and then when Jirachi fixes it, throw in a line that says something like, 'Now the Nexus has a special shield on it that will prevent it from getting broken again.' It's that simple! I can't believe it!"
"Maybe the Nexus being destroyed was supposed to be played for laughs?" Raikou suggested.
"I didn't laugh during that scene! My jaw dropped!" Keldeo said, "I was actually kinda horrified. The Nexus was built up big time by the partner as something he dreamed to helping to complete, so seeing it get blown up was absolutely gut wrenching!"
"I must admit, Keldeo has a point," Suicune remarked.
"Thank you," Keldeo said with a satisfied smile.
And The Number 1 Dumbest Pokemon Super Mystery Dungeon Moment is. . .
"The Expedition Society!" Keldeo declared with a bit of venom in his tone.
"WHAT!?" everyone else exclaimed.
"How can that be the dumbest moment?" Victini exclaimed.
"Because the Expedition Society is a total let down!" Keldeo exclaimed back.
"I must admit, I find them rather annoying," Entei remarked, "But they are honorable and loyal, at the very least. I don't see how they deserve such a title as The Dumbest Moment."
Keldeo frowned and said, "Well, brace yourself, guys, because I'm going to explain why they left a bad taste in my mouth at first. First of all, the partner built the Expedition Society up big. About how cool they are, how strong they are, how much they do in the world, how they help so many Pokemon, how they're on a mission to map the whole world on the Nexus, and load more stuff. They were like the Swords of Justice of this world. Then we get Ampharos, the Dashing Wanderer. Sure, it was weird how he had zero sense of direction, but when we got that twist of him being contacted by his gadget and got called Chief, I actually got goosebumps!"
"You did? Why?" Raikou asked.
Grinning excitedly, Keldeo said, "To me, it became clear that the Dashing Wanderer thing was a clever codename/cover kind of deal! Sure, maybe he did have poor direction, but he was still strong and knows when to be kind. He's the one who helped the heroes' dreams come true. And the way he got contacted made him kinda look like a spy, or an FBI agent, or someone from the International Police. I actually started to get a Looker vibe from him. And all of this just made me anticipate the Expedition Society even more. I imagined it to be like this huge organization with all these Pokemon researching and training in this huge complex. I could see specialists in every Pokemon-type and training halls and libraries and all this cool stuff worthy of a super exclusive Pokemon organization. Kind of like a good version of Giovanni's Team Rocket or something."
The Legendary Beasts all growled loudly and fiercely, looking ready to kill.
"Do not mention Team Rocket or . . . that man's name in front of us. . ." Entei growled dangerously.
Keldeo looked nervously at the snarling Legendary Beasts and nodded, "Oh. . . uh, okay, um. . . sorry. . ."
The Legendary Beasts calmed down, and Suicune nodded and said, "Okay then, you were saying?"
Keldeo nodded, "Right. Okay, so I had high expectations for the Expedition Society, and they only go bigger when I saw what the building looked like. But what do I get when I go in? The worst first impression of anything or anybody I've ever seen in my entire life! Everyone is chasing Swirlix all over the place for eating all the food, Dedenene destroys the Nexus, and everyone falls down flat from hunger and pleads for food like a bunch of-."
Keldeo trembled with frustration as he searched for a word to say.
"BISCUITS, THEY'RE PATHETIC!" Keldeo finally shouted in rage, then he took a few deep breaths to calm himself, "Then everyone pretends to quit. . . What? . . .Then we get attacked by Jirachi, then we learn that these guys break the Nexus every other week. Like, 'oh, the Nexus got broken again. It must be Thursday.'"
"So. . . you hate them?" Victini asked, cocking his head as he stared at Keldeo.
Keldeo shook his head vigorously, "Oh, no way! I actually think they're a good bunch of characters. Buizel is really awesome and strong and brave, Mawille has a good heart, Archen is practical and loyal and pretty funny, Swirlix isn't that bad, Dedenene is a good support character, Bunnelby. . . okay, he's actually kinda bland, and I have to admire Jirachi's knowledge, wisdom, and innocence. And I've already told you how much I like Ampharos."
"I think I see the issue you have with them," Entei said sagely, "They made a really bad first impression."
"The worst," Keldeo said sadly, "And that's a shame, because they are cool bunch of Pokemon who know how to get things done. But the combination of all the build up for them and their bumbling, foolish, stupid antics makes their first impression, by far, the Dumbest Pokemon Super Mystery Dungeon Moment."
"Well," Victini said, "Maybe it was just a way to show how friendly and warm they all were? You know, like a family."
"I guess that's one explanation, but that's not how it seemed to me," Keldeo said.
Entei nodded, "Alright, so those were the dumbest moments. Which means now we'll be counting down-."
"The Top 11 Most AWESOME Super Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Moments!" Keldeo exclaimed with renewed enthusiasm.
Number 11
Keldeo grinned and said, "Okay, let me be honest. This just might be a personal preference, but I still found this scene funny."
"What scene, Keldeo?" Entei asked.
"It's right after the final boss," Keldeo explained, smiling sheepishly, "Maybe I'm the only one who laughed at it. . ."
"What is it? Tell us!" Raikou asked.
Keldeo nodded, "Alright, so the partner and player are thrown back to earth after winning the final battle, and the partner wakes up before the player does. So the partner goes to the player and says:"
Partner: "Wait. . . It can't be! Don't go! Don't go into the light!"
Everyone present either laughed, chuckled, or snorted.
"Aha! So I'm not the only one!" Keldeo laughed.
"Did they just reference A Bugs Life or Ice Age 2?" Victini asked, still chuckling a bit.
"Heh, that's the first time I've chuckled in quite a while," Suicune remarked.
"I suppose it helps that we knew that the player character wasn't gonna die," Keldeo said, "If the player was gonna leave, it wouldn't be here, not before everything is resolved a bit more clearly, and not via death."
Partner: "Don't go into the light!"
Keldeo chuckled again.
Number 10
"Arceus finally does something!" Keldeo exclaimed, "He barely did anything to help himself in his own movie. He waited for others to do all the hard work. Same thing in Explorers of Time/Darkness/Sky, seriously, was he seriously okay with Dialga going crazy and the planet being paralyzed? He did the same thing in Hoopa's movie too. I'm guessing that Arceus has some kind of knowledge of how things will play out, or waits to see how his other Legendaries will handle things before intervening, but it's still is kind of annoying."
Keldeo smiled broadly and said, "That's why I'm so glad that Arceus took an active role in fighting Dark Matter earlier on. He called out to every single Legendary Pokemon on the planet to come and stop Dark Matter from escaping into outer space. He even got Mewtwo to help channel everyone's thoughts and emotions. Then he teleports our heroes right into tree too. Boy is Arcues making up for lost time!"
"And in addition," Entei interjected, "They gave a reason why Arceus couldn't just fight Dark Matter directly. Nothing could stand to be in Dark Matter's presence unless they wore the Harmony Scarves, which were made from the Tree of Life."
"Good point, Entei!" Keldeo said with a smile, "I have to say that this is Arceus' best appearance in any story yet!"
Number 9
"Cameos from characters from previous Mystery Dungeon games," Keldeo said.
"Like MEEE!" Victini cheered.
"Make no mistake, they really are from previous games!" Keldeo said, "They talk about their old jobs and what they used to do. Victini mentions the V-Wheel. Rampardos mentions his Box Buster job, and we even get a mission where we deliver a love letter to Cinccino for him. Then there's Duskull the banker, Chimecho form Wigglytuff's Guild, Emolga and Dunsparce, Team AWD, Marowark, Team Skull-."
Keldeo froze and blinked, "Huh. . . so they didn't die after all. . ."
Keldeo shrugged it off and said, "You know, it really is cool to see that all the games really do take place in the same world. It makes the setting seem more expanded and in depth. You can just imagine Wigglytuff's Guild or Pokemon Paradise being located on one of the continents, either surrounded by mystery dungeons or located of the beaten path. There's no particular reason for you to go there in this game, but those places are still there all right."
"Doesn't it kind of seem weird that the world keeps falling into jeopardy?" Suicune remarked.
"Yes. . ." Entei said slowly, "And the Bittercold and Dark Matter are so similar. . . It's almost as if someone. . . some other entity. . .some greater evil. . . is sending these thing to try and destroy the world."
"But hey, that's just a theory!" Keldeo said with a clever smile, "A Game Theory! Thanks for watching!"
Number 8
"The Legendary Beasts," Keldeo said solemnly.
"Take it away, Keldeo!" Raikou cheered.
Suicune and Entei glared him, and Raikou shrugged and looked back as if to say "What?"
Keldeo continued, "As you know from that Real Thoughts On: The Legendary Beasts sketch, Entei comes off as kind of jerk when you first meet him. Then when the other Beasts show up when everyone gets sent to the Voidlands, they kinda act even more deplorable. But then. . ."
"SPOILERS!" Zorua shouted as he jumped in the shot, then jumped back out.
". . . We discover that it was all an act!" Keldeo exclaimed, "The whole time, the Legendary Beasts were planning to get the player and partner out. They were just waiting for the right moment to send them to the exit, knowing that they would have to stay behind. They kept their true feelings secret because they didn't want the player and partner to feel bad and try to save everyone. So with a bit of help from Mawile, the Legendary Beasts send our heroes to the door as they stay back to be swallowed up by the void they had been cast into. It was a noble sacrifice for the good of the whole world, thus showing me that their honor does match that of the Swords of Justice."
"Thank you, Keldeo," Entei said with nobility in his voice.
Number 7
"The continents and towns," Keldeo said.
"The world is so BIG!" Victini exclaimed.
"Yeah, it sure is. Five whole continents full of dungeons, each with their own town full of Pokemon!" Keldeo exclaimed, "This game certainly does have the widest scale of all the Mystery Dungeon Games. This helps make you feel a lot more accomplished when you save the world at the end."
"I believe it also makes Number 6 all the more appealing," Suicune said.
"Oh yeah, you're right!" Keldeo said happily.
Number 6
"The Connection Orb," Keldeo said, "It's so cool. And it's such a fun way to get missions and recruit Pokemon. Before, in order to get Pokemon to join you, you had to go through dungeons, carry Gifts with you, and hope you were luck enough to have a Pokemon want to join you. Sometimes you end up recruiting the same species over and over and over again! It was just so random and annoying. And you don't want to say no to anyone, especially when you'd literally be rejecting them from Paradise!"
Suicune nodded gravely, "Indeed. The Connection Orb system makes things easier while also making you work a little to complete it. Using the Orb, you take requests for help from Pokemon all over the world, similar to Social Media on the Internet. It also functions as a type of Pokedex. Whenever you help a Pokemon, or beat them in a battle they've arranged for you, you form a connection with them. This connection then branches out, allowing you to take requests for other Pokemon, and so on and so on. Also, when you connect to a Pokemon, you can have them join your party if they're available. This makes things much easier, because now you only have one species of each Pokemon instead of, oh, let's say, 10 Crobats."
Entei and Raikou stared at Suicune in shock.
"What?" Suicune asked simply.
"That's the most you've ever said at one time. Ever!" Entei said in amazement.
Suicune shrugged and said, "It's the first time I've ever had that much of anything to say.
Keldeo grinned, and continued on, "Well, in addition to all that, you're also able to connect with Pokemon just by talking with them in the towns. And each Pokemon has their own unique little topic to talk about, so it's really fun and entertaining. This also encourages exploration of the towns instead of just blindly going into dungeons over and over. And there are a whole bunch of towns to explore, and lots of Pokemon to talk to. And since the Pokemon present in town always change, it encourages you to keep talking and to keep exploring and to keep going through the towns. It really brings the game to life and adds a whole new layer of depth. The Connection Orb is a million times better than any old billboard!"
Number 5
"Doing multiple missions in one dungeon!" Keldeo shouted, "Finally! We're back to normal! Being forced to do only one per trip nearly drove me crazy in Gates to Infinity!"
"Wait, they only let you do one at a time in the previous game?" Entei asked incredulously.
"Uh-huh! Crazy, right?" Victini chimed in.
"That's absurd! Where's the logic in that?" Entei said.
"Maybe it was to keep you from getting too many building materials for Pokemon Paradise too quickly," Keldeo suggested.
Entei breathed out and said, "Well, I'm glad they saw how foolish that decision was and fixed things for this game. One mission at time. . . You could have a mission for every floor, but the missing Pokemon you need to find is somehow invisible unless you select their mission. Preposterous!"
Number 4
"Looplets, Emeras, and Wands," Keldeo said with a smile, "They are so awesome! A Looplet is like a scarf. Equipping one can raise stats, increase exp, protect you from status conditions, etc. But what makes Looplets so awesome is that they have notches in them for special gems called Emeras, and Emeras are the best thing since Gummis! Emeras are only found in mystery dungeons, and putting them into a Looplet grants you special ability. You can paralyze enemies, put them to sleep, reveal things on the map, survive an attack that would've made you faint, attack twice in a row, even Mega Evolve!"
Raikou blinked at Keldeo and said, "Wow, you really get passionate about these items, Keldeo."
"They're just so cool!" Keldeo said, "Sure, they disappear when you complete the dungeon, but that just means you can look for new ones the next time! And you can pick up fragments to make new ones automatically. And if your Looplet is full, or if you don't like the Emera, you can use it as an item to increase one of your stats for the remainder of the dungeon! It's a win-win! They're obviously a replacement for the IQ Skills from Time/Darkness/Sky and the Team Skills from Gates to Infinity, but I honestly think that Emera's are better because they offer free stat boosts and give you the option to mix and match the one you like, and even double them up! Personally, I like to double up on Barrage Emeras. It's so awesome when an attack hits twice! I don't know if they'll ever make another Mystery Dungeon game, but I dare them to try and top Emeras and Looplets! They are just too awesome!"
"Didn't you say something about Wands?" Victini asked.
"Oh yeah! Thanks for reminding me! Wands are cool too! They're basically a weapon that throws an effect at an enemy Pokemon. They can slow them, paralyze them, warp them away, even cut down their HP to one quarter of their maximum!" Keldeo said excitedly, "And the best part is that one wand can carry multiple charges! That means one wand that takes up only one space in your bag can be used 30 or more times! Genius! It's perfect for a tough boss, or for when you're about to run out of HP and there's a tough Pokemon between you and the stairs. Just wave your wand, warp it away, and you're in the clear! There's also a wand that shows you where the stairs are, and that's a big help when you're trying get through the tougher story based dungeons where you know they'll be a boss at the end. Wandering around will only increase your chances of using up Oran Berries and Reviver Seeds."
Victini grinned and said, "Sounds like this game has the best items out of all the Mystery Dungeon Games!"
Keldeo nodded and said, "You got that right!"
Number 3
"The beginning chapters in Serene Village," Keldeo said gleefully, "That whole sections is just so beautiful! It was just so. . . warm and fun and exciting! The idea of having you start off as a child Pokemon who gets saved by a Nuzlef who takes you in, and then you're the new kid in a Pokemon school making friends and having misadventures- it's just so enjoyable! Like a fun Saturday morning cartoon!"
"What about those bullies?" Victini asked gently with a nervous smile, "Didn't they drive you craaaaazy?"
"I actually didn't mind them!" Keldeo said, much to everyone's surprise, "Pancham and Shelmet weren't sociopaths like Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. They were just ordinary kids with self esteem issues who feel that they had to smack others down because of their own feelings of inadequacy. And their bullying never got to the point that it hurt or was intolerable. And at certain times, you had to admit that they had a point. Why should they believe that the player was once a human? Plus, it's good to see them get scared straight during the Haunted School story arc. Speaking of which, that story arc was awesome! The kids go into a barrow! As in a Dragur infested, Skyrim barrow! Only instead of undead Dragur, there was Pokemon, of course."
Keldeo chuckled a bit and said, "And you gotta admit, the teachers at the school are really entertaining. Watchog totally reminds me of Crowler from Yu-Gi-Oh GX. Seriously, they should expand this game into a full Anime! You could get two full seasons worth of episodes out of the Serene Village storyarc alone!"
Entei nodded and said, "And I also imagine that you found the budding relationship between the player and partner touching, did you not?"
Keldeo nodded and said, "Words cannot express how good the writing is. . ." Keldeo grinned and said, "Speaking of which. . ."
Number 2
"The ending and the moral," Keldeo said with great reverence.
Suddenly, Zoroark jumped down and roared, "SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!" She then left with a mighty leap.
"Alright, so Dark Matter has absorbed all of the energy from the Tree of Life, is in it's final form, and tells our heroes that they can't win," Keldeo said, "So how do the heroes respond?"
"SHUT UP, HANNIBAL!" everyone shouted as one.
"It's so incredible!" Keldeo said, tears of joy welling up in his eyes, "They aren't gonna quit! They aren't gonna listen to this monster! They'll use nothing but 'a' attacks if they have to! I'm so sick of heroes letting bad guys get in their heads. You don't have to listen to slime like them! To quote Handsome Jack:"
Handsome Jack: "...I AM THE ******* HERO!"
"Okay, Jack was kinda insane, but you know what I mean!" Keldeo said quickly, "They're not gonna stop trying to take this Eldritch Abomination down, and they totally wreck that pathetic ball of filth!"
"OH, YEAH!" Victini cheered as the Legendary Beasts roared.
"But then," Keldeo said suddenly, "We learn that smashing Dark Matter will only spread it's negative emotions across the world, and that it will simply come back again. . ." Keldeo grinned and said, "Which turns out to only be half true. Dark Matter can only come back if the one who destroys it refuses to accept it. So, the partner gives a Patrick Stewart Speech explaining that he/she understands that everyone has goodness and badness in their hearts. No one is perfect, everyone is going to feel bad sometimes, but as long as they try to express their goodness whenever they can, it'll be alright."
Keldeo nodded resolutely and said, "And here was have the ultimate moral of this story. If you refuse to accept your own flaws, pretend they aren't there, justify them . . . like Matthais and I did. . . , or try to bottle them up; eventually all those negative feelings will come together and hurt you and the people around you. That's what Dark Matter is a symbol of. Heh, kinda reminds me of the Tantabus from Friendship is Magic, come to think of it. . . Anyway, when the partner accepts Dark Matter as a part of life and shatters it, all those emotions can finally rest and peace. And with one last 'Thank You,' it breaks up into light that can go back into it's balance in the hearts of all living things."
Victini sniffed and wiped his eyes, "That. . . that was beautiful!" Victini started weeping openly and he tried covered his face with his hands and forearms, "I love this game so much!"
"It's amazing, "Entei said, sounding very, truly amazed, "How this game led to an end to the animosity between us, Keldeo."
Keldeo looked turned to look at each of the Legendary Beasts, and he smiled and said, "Yes, it truly is amazing. . ."
And The Number 1 Most Awesome Pokemon Super Mystery Dungeon Moment is. . .
"I don't think we should say it here," Keldeo said, looking conflicted.
"Aw, come on! Why not!" Victini said, "If we just put up a Spoiler Warning-."
"It still wouldn't feel right to reveal something this big," Keldeo said, "I wanted to only use minimum spoilers, and this spoiler is just SO HUGE! I just. . ." Keldeo hung his head and said sadly, "I don't think I have the heart to reveal it. . ."
"I believe I have an idea, Keldeo," Entei said calmly.
Keldeo raised his head just as Entei got in close and whispered something into Keldeo's ear. After about a minute of whispered explanation, Keldeo smiled and said, "Alright, that could work! Good idea, Entei!"
Keldeo nodded and said, "Alright. . ."
The Number 1 Most Awesome Pokemon Super Mystery Dungeon Moment is. . .
"The many plot twists!" Keldeo declared, "Specifically the one at the ending. . . before the Epilogue, that is."
"Ooh! I have a Game Theory! M. Night Shyamalan helped write the story for this game!" Victini said excitedly.
M. Night Shyamalan: "What a twist!"
"Well, I did hear that Unbreakable had a really good story," Keldeo said, but then he shook that thought out of his head and said, "Anyway, the Mystery Dungeon Games have always had plot twists in them. Like Grovyle and Hydreigon being good guys, and Dusknoir and Munna being villains. But Super Mystery Dungeon is loaded with plot twists, both big and small. It's like, every other cutscene there's a plot twist! It really keeps you on the edge and makes you think both forwards and backwards. You never know who to trust or what to believe. And after you've beaten the final boss and are waiting to see how the story ends, the game hits you hard with the king of all plot twists! Now, like I said, I don't have the heart to reveal it to you, but this plot twist takes one of the key aspects of the Mystery Dungeon Series and completely turns it on it's head! It also comes after a mind boggling character based plot twist for a double plot twist punch!"
Keldeo then smiled softly and said, "But still, even after the incredible shock you're put through, when you think it over, it all makes perfect sense. . . That final character plot twist actually takes everything you've learned and seen throughout the story and connects all of it. It's the final piece of the puzzle that makes the story complete, and fixes any possibly plot holes that you might have found. It's a master stroke of storytelling that brings something brand new and unexpected to the Mystery Dungeon Series."
Keldeo then became serious and said, "So, please, any of you who have gotten to the end of the game, please, don't reveal the twist ending. Just don't. Please. This twist, this ultimate, final, amazing twist needs to be experienced blind, because it is, by far, the Most Awesome Pokemon Super Mystery Dungeon Moment."
Keldeo smiled again and said, "Well, that's the Season 4 Finale! I hope all of you liked Season 4, and I hope you all come back for Season 5. I'm Keldeo the Critic. . ."
"We're the Legendary Beasts!" Entei said as he and the other two posed.
"And I'm Victini!" Victini cheered as he flew around in circles, spinning and twirling over the other Pokemon.
". . . and we reviewed it so you don't have to!" Keldeo said, but then he grinned sheepishly and said, "But you still can review it. . . if you want to. . ."
With his laptop packed away in his bag, Keldeo stood outside of the burned remains of Brass Tower. Victini floated next to him, and the Legendary Beasts stood outside to see him off.
"May good fortune favor you, Keldeo!" Entei called out.
"Keep on reviewing!" Raikou called out.
"May we meet again, either in Pokken Tournament or in person!" Suicune called out.
Keldeo nodded to the Legendary Beasts and called back, "May Ho-Oh guide your path!"
"Bye guys!" Victini shouted as he waved enthusiastically.
Keldeo and Victini then turned, and began to long journey home, back to Unova.
". . . Hey Victini? Why didn't you travel here with me?"
"I did, Keldeo! I was just invisible! Ha-ha-ha!"
"Oh, ha-ha, very funny. . . and a little bit creepy."
"Huh? What do you mean. . . ?"
The End
Credits
"Bats!" Review by Drowning in Horseshoes
Borderlands 2
"Do Princesses Dream of Magic Sheep?"- My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Zoroark: Master of Illusions
Hoopa and the Clash of Ages
A Bugs Life by Pixar
Ice Age 2: The Meltdown by Blue Sky
Nostalgia Critic: Is There Another Good Shyamalan Movie?
Pokken Tournament
Special Thanks
TVTropes
Wikipedia
Aura Wielder
The Legendary Beasts descended back down into the tower, and Entei said, "We should probably delete that whole revenge plan. We won't be needing it now."
The Legendary Beasts reached the basement, and Entei and Raikou both gasped.
"What?" Suicune asked.
"Our laptop is gone!" Raikou shouted in a panic as he pointed to where the laptop once was.
"Uh-oh," Suicune said with wide eyes.
"Okay, do not panic," Entei said sternly.
"'Don't panic'? What do you mean, 'don't panic'!? Now someone has our revenge plan!" Raikou exclaimed.
"A plan that only we can implement," Entei said calmly, giving Raikou a disparaging glare, "It's no use to anyone else. Only the Legendary Beasts can carry that plan out. We're the Legendary Beasts, and no one else is. So don't go thinking that Keldeo's in any kind of trouble. That plan is useless to anyone else but the Legendary Beasts, which are us."
Raikou blinked a few times, then sighed, "Yeah, I guess you're right. But still-."
"Yes, yes, we need to get it back. It is ours, after all," Entei said nonchalantly. He then turned to go up to the exit of the tower, saying, "Come on, let's track whoever it was down. I swear, if it turns out to be that annoying Team Rocket Trio-."
"Forget those three!" Raikou shouted angrily as he followed close behind Entei, "I kinda hope it's Attila and Hun! That'll give me an excuse to finally put the hurt on them!"
Suicune didn't follow right away. Instead, he just stood still, thinking long and hard about a few things. He thoughts about the Legendary Beasts, about Zoroark's movie, and about the fanfic that they were planning to use to implement their plan. He thought of all of these elements through. Then, when nothing seemed to click in the few seconds he had stopped to think, he let his thoughts go, and was about to follow Entei and Raikou. However, he suddenly noticed something out of the corner of his eye. He turned fast, and saw nothing. Suicune stared silently for a moment, certain that he had seen something shiny.
Suicune breathed out a sigh, shook his head, and went to follow after the other two Legendary Beasts.
And that was Season 4! I want to give a big thank you for everyone who read this season and gave me their support, whether they agreed with my reviews or not. I appreciate every single one of you, and thank you from the bottom of my heart. I also want to thank my collaborators and hardcore continuous reviews. You know who you are, and how awesome you are too!
I have a number of reviews planned for season 5. Of course I'll be reviewing more of HavocHound's fanfics, as well as Toadettedgirl2012's, and even some stuff from FimFiction. But of course, as many of you have deduced, a certain fanfic by AuraWielder is high on my list. So, thank you all for everything, and I'll see you . . . maybe. . .sometime in . . . late summer? Maybe early fall? We'll just have to wait and see!
God bless you all.