Chapter Two

Penseroso

Oh I'm in trouble.

Juvia knew it even before she got Gray Fullbuster's name, though when she did get it, the amount of trouble she was in significantly increased.

Because at first sight, when she saw him come around that klunker he and Natsu Dragneel were working on, something lit up inside her chest, and her heart skipped a beat. She'd always heard about that, the "heart skipping a beat" thing, but of the many men who were her targets whom she'd lure into a false sense of security, even going so far as to bed them, none of them had never made her feel that way. Not that they were ungodly ugly—in fact quite a lot of them were very handsome, and worse still, very nice (though she'd killed them as ordered just the same)—but when she saw Gray Fullbuster, there was just…something.

It was his face, his eyes, his expression that caught her first, swiftly followed by the look of his body underneath that muscle shirt and those jeans when she automatically sized him up. Then she caught the glimmer of the cross hanging around his neck with the blue stone set into it, and…she felt very warm inside. Actually…she'd felt that kind of leap of delight she'd feel when she was younger, and she'd go swimming with her parents when they were alive, the way the water would make her feel.

It had been ages since she'd been able to go swimming, save for one or two times where she was able to grab a few minutes in a hotel pool if she was staying at said hotel while pursuing a target. And like the snatches of time she seized saying she needed to fix her makeup or whatnot, those moments she'd stolen swimming…she'd nearly cried for happiness, which was easily done without giving herself away since she'd already be dripping with water.

She liked the sound of Gray's voice too. It was slightly hoarse, yet it wasn't rough on the ears. And then she caught his rugged scent of leather and cigarettes, and something deep inside her was slowly awakened and aroused.

But then she got his and Natsu's names, and for a moment she faltered.

Just for a moment though.

After that moment, she mastered herself like she always did, and even made her smile warmer. The two of them were none the wiser that she was after the life of someone they knew, someone they would apparently be willing to either protect or avenge without hesitation.

Don't forget yourself, she told herself sternly.

Even so, if he ended up falling for her, maybe she could get away with killing Dreyar without either he or Dragneel even suspecting her for a moment. Then she'd disappear like she'd never come into their lives.

And she could protect them too.

She had no doubt of Porla's words that these two would kill her if they felt they needed to. She had to take those sorts of things seriously. Her life depended on that. And they both looked fit enough to do it besides. Still, she'd held her own against men who'd threatened her with more than justice. It was bad enough she was going to have to take out another ex-cop who had possession of too many of Jose Porla's secrets. She didn't want to have to take out any more innocent lives than she had to.

Gray was observant however, while she sat in the passenger seat of in his pickup truck and he drove her to the nearest motel where she could stay until the Lamborghini was fixed. Turned out it was indeed going to take another day or two to fix the engine.

He noted how quiet she was.

"Oh, sorry," Juvia said, without really thinking about it.

And then Gray said what she thought next: "What do you have to be sorry about? You don't have to apologize for being quiet." He shrugged and then added, a little more carefully, "I just…wanted to make sure there wasn't something wrong."

"Like I got something heavy on my mind?" Juvia asked, the corner of her mouth curving upward. Oh yes. He was very observant.

"Yeah, I guess," said Gray, sounding casual about it. But she still detected that he was a little concerned. And then, after he turned the steering wheel about so he could round the next corner onto a road lined with strip malls on the way closer to the city, he confessed: "Look, I am sorry we can't get the car fixed faster, but—"

"Don't worry about it," Juvia reassured him gently. "This wouldn't be my first time in a motel on the road."

Which made Gray raise his eyebrows at her, as though surprised.

Suddenly Juvia realized what her words implied and she actually laughed.

Phrasing, Juvia, jeez.

"Oh ho! No…not that," she clarified aloud. "I'm not like that."

"Oh…." Gray laughed too, and while it was the light, almost meek laugh of someone who didn't laugh all that often, there was a heart to it that Juvia couldn't help warming to.

"I uh…travel sometimes, in my work," she explained. Not a lie, not really. She just omitted what kind of work.

"What kinda work is that?" Gray asked, as if echoing her thoughts. He sounded keenly and genuinely interested however, which was nice, which made it all the more a shame that Juvia would have to lie to him about it.

She fished through her personal library of skills, and she decided to go with a story where she could utilize her capabilities as a jazz singer—she'd started learning some years back, since it'd be useful to learn the sorts of skills that could get her into convincible undercover roles working at places like bars and clubs aside from just your standard waitress.

Her thought was that it could work here, considering this Fairy Tail Bar was where Dreyar, Dragneel, and Fullbuster and all their buds seemed to hang out.

Actually, from a certain point of view, she was sort of telling the truth.

"I'm a jazz singer," she said, words delivered with flawless an convincing execution.

Gray appeared further intrigued by this. "Jazz singer, huh?" Then he seemed to think on that for a moment and asked, "Well, there's this bar that me and Natsu hang out at with the rest of our friends and…I dunno…maybe you could come by and sing a set or two? We could use another singing talent. I mean, there's Mirajane, but she owns the bar so it's kind of a given that she's on the um…bill. And uh…there're her little brother and sister, they uh…do some stand up…or try to…he, he…." Then he cleared his throat in a rather apologetic way. "Um…and I mean, you'd get paid, of course. I mean…it'd be a professional gig. Totally legit. And all that…. Least I could see about it…."

Juvia's mouth spread into a demure grin, unable to help being amused with the way the guy was suddenly fumbling with his words. So, she let herself feel a fleeting moment of pity for him and said, "Sure. Thank you. Yes. I'd like that."

Then Gray blinked at her, as if surprised that she'd actually said yes, or maybe it just hit him what he'd asked her. Then he laughed, this time more quietly.

"All right then," he said. "Feel free to come by any time. What's your number? I'll text you the address."

In not the brightest of moves, Gray entered in the number Juvia gave him into his phone with his thumb at the next red light. He was quick though, and shot off the text with the address to Fairy Tail Bar in it before the light changed to green.

Of course, Juvia didn't need the address. But Gray didn't know that.

She took a moment after she thanked him for the address to breathe in and empty herself of feelings that were starting to get tangled up inside her.

"Here we are." Gray pulled into the lot of a small motel at the end of the strip, and it looked to be a decent one.

Not that Juvia had been expecting a dilapidated heap, but still, she appreciated how Gray and Natsu were doing their best as far as treating her as their customer went.

"Thank you again," she said, being sweet as could be. She opened up her door, grabbed her handbag and stepped out.

"It's not all that nice." Gray was massaging the back of his neck.

Juvia paused in shutting the door. "Hey, I'm not expecting the Ritz, you know. This looks perfectly lovely."

"I know but…um…anyway, um…hey, Juvia?"

"Yes, Gray?"

Gray quit massaging the back of his neck and looked up at her.

Juvia's heart skipped a beat again when their eyes met.

"Are you…?" Gray's voice tailed away and then he shook his head and restarted the ignition. "Never mind."

It was Juvia's turn to be taken aback, mostly at the sudden cold brusqueness of his tone, but she said she'd see him around, and he replied with the same, and then she shut the door. After she grabbed her travel bag from the back of the truck, taking note of the Remington slide-action shotgun in the back, she stood there and watched him turn around and drive away down the road.

Juvia stared at the case of weapons she'd taken out of her travel bag and placed on the bed in her hotel room. She had the TV turned on to a news channel, just for background noise.

The original plan had been to just find the Fairy Tail Bar, scope out for a good sniping perch, nest there, and then lie in wait until she had her target in sight on the street outside the bar and—

Take the shot.

Done.

Now she was rethinking things, what with the car breaking down on her unexpectedly. Steering toward insinuating herself as a traveling jazz singer had been about her best moment of thinking on her feet that she'd had in a long time.

Not that she'd been displaying a decline in her abilities, far from it, if anything Porla was more pleased with her work and her results now more than ever. And meanwhile with every kill she knew she was losing a little bit more of her own soul.

Bora had been her first hit.

She had played her part well. So well, that after she'd made her kill and executed her exit, she'd felt rather proud of herself, in a small way. Not of the fact that she'd had to take a person's life, the weight of that crushed her soon after…but at the time, in the moment, when she'd had him eating out of the palm of her hand on the disco dancefloor of the club she'd brought them to, she'd felt so free, so self-assured. Pouring him drink after drink after drink, and managing to have a few for herself and still keep her head clear. Turned out she could hold her liquor too.

And then out to the back alley on the pretense of letting him have his way with her, and right when he had her up against the brick wall, and he pressed close to her body so he could neck her, she'd lifted one leg and wrapped it around him, playing it as a gesture of sexual invitation when in fact she was reaching underneath her dress where the skirt was slit to slide her new Sapphire (a "gift" from Porla, as he called it) out of its thigh holster, and just when he realized she had a gun to his chest, pulled the trigger.

Bang.

Dead.

It was after such a well-played performance then that Porla had decided she should pick up some performance skills of varying sorts. And learning to sing jazz had been one of those sorts.

Okay, that's enough. Time to work.

She reached down and moved her fingers delicately over the edges of the case until they found the clasps. She undid them and popped the case open, revealing her small arsenal set in the foam lining.

The VSS Vintorez sniper rifle with its tripod next to it, a couple of different scopes, and a Steyr AUG assault rifle she sometimes used for a sidearm in the event of a no-holds-barred shootout (and she'd been in rather a few of those, real firefights those). Cases, cartridges, clips. Ammunition for days.

While the TV went blithering on and on, Juvia got started checking her weapons. She took out the sniper first and checked the mechanics, made sure there wasn't any possibility of the thing jamming on her, and then she checked the scopes, made sure the sight wasn't off. Then she looked over the assault rifle, and then looked over the ammo. She checked the clip in her Sapphire and reloaded it, snapped it back in, made sure the slide on it still drew back and sprang forward quick and easy. She drilled herself on reloading and aiming, always trying to reach for a faster time.

On a call she reported in to Porla about her current status, since she had, for the moment, set up a base of operations. She let him know about what happened to the car and how that led her to come in contact with Gray Fullbuster and Natsu Dragneel.

"Fullbuster invited me to come sing jazz at the Fairy Tail Bar, actually." Juvia set the phone to hands-free as she went about unzipping her dress at the back. "So, I accepted, though of course I didn't come off as too eager. I'm in. Smooth as silk."

"Well, done, sweetheart." Porla's voice had that pleasured growl to it that told her he was helping himself to his cut of the product after a long day of trafficking the stuff. Usually he'd have Sol, Totomaru, Aria, and Juvia, as well as Gajeel too (when he'd been there). Or whoever was there if anyone else was out on a hit. And they'd share a snifter of port or brandy or whiskey and pass around the very exquisite snuff box and take turns snorting lines of coke.

At least, that's how it used to be.

Then Gajeel had been like the first one at the party to sober up and see the state of everyone else who was still high in the sky. Honestly he wasn't all that fond of Totomaru, Sol, or Aria, but Juvia he'd always had a soft spot for—they'd both been dragged into Porla's operation on the same day. Porla had even introduced them like one would adopted siblings. And since then, Gajeel had developed a habit of looking out for Juvia when he could, and one night, when Juvia was suffering a really bad comedown, at which point Gajeel had taken her to his room in the mansion and taken care of her.

And when she'd come back to herself more, he'd told her, "No more, Rain Woman," using the nickname he'd given her on the first day they met—it had been raining that day, and the first time he had seen her she appeared out of a veil of that rain with Porla behind her, and something about her had given the young Gajeel the chilling sense that it was she who had brought the rain. So the sobriquet stuck.

From then on, Juvia and Gajeel sat out the snort sessions. When questioned about it, Juvia made it seem like it was doing horrors to her complexion (which it was aside from everything else, but that was the only thing that Porla was going to care about), and Gajeel had just muttered something about being sick of getting nosebleeds so easy.

Anyway, it wasn't long after that that he'd turned full on Porla and had to make a run for it, after which Juvia had been sent to kill him. And after everything he had done for her, Juvia couldn't. Instead, she let him go.

But she told herself, Never again. Never again would she let her heart get so much ahead of her that she'd be ordered to do something like take the life of someone she'd managed to care about.

In the background, Juvia could hear Sol and Totomaru, guessing Aria was out on a hit of his own. But they were definitely at it, passing the snuff box and snorting that shit up their noses. In Porla's case in particular, at times it had made him so wired that it awakened a layer of mania that daylight managed to help him keep hidden. It was on one of those occasions that he'd gotten into one of his violent episodes and beat Juvia so bad that they'd actually had to call in the on-site doctor—a spineless but brilliant physician kept comfortable with money and quiet with fear.

Sometimes Juvia still felt a throb, a whisper of the pain of her dislocated right shoulder from that day. It was a wonder she could still aim a gun and shoot as well as she ever did.

Then there was another night like that, but that time…Gajeel had been there to step in.

Juvia rubbed that spot on her shoulder now as she let her dress slide off of her curvaceous body, while Porla went on about what a wonderful woman she was.

"I know, I am oh-so wonderful," she said, but Porla didn't hear the sarcasm.

"Even when things get tough, you know how to turn a situation in your favor," Porla told her, a purr underneath his voice. "You are something else, my dear Siren."

On an impulse, Juvia clutched at her throat. That was the reason Porla called her the Siren, after all. When she'd started incorporating her skills with a singing voice into her work, he'd likened her to one of those she-demons of Greek myth, the ones who led sailors to their deaths with their angelic voices.

Then she put that aside and thanked her boss, told him he was too kind, while she hooked her thumbs in her underwear and slid that off next. As she did, she paused at the scar on the outside of her left-hand thigh—another job where she'd tried to pull the same thing that she'd done with Porla, but that one had been a little more prepared, and realized that something was up while he could still do something about it: as she'd lifted her leg he'd whipped out a knife and stabbed her with the blade…she got him in the end though after a little extra fight and struggle.

Juvia Lockser always got her target.

Gray had been with women before. Women who were fun, women who showed him a good—sometimes even a great—time in bed.

What was that last gal's name, who'd drifted in from down south? Daphne, that was her name. She'd had this cowgirl kink that had been kinda fun, though she couldn't get Gray to do anything like role play. Even so, they'd had fun. Like most women too, she'd been rather impressed at his silver Desert Eagle, as like most women he took to bed, they were strangers to the kind of world Gray had come come from.

And then she was gone and that was that, just like all the others.

He'd always made it a point to the women who wanted to sleep with him that that was all he was in for—just one night, and then one of them gone by morning depending on where they ended up, either his place or somewhere else. And he'd done a good job of making sure that women he either took home or he went home with were willing participants in such an arrangement.

Whenever he came across a woman who was signaling to him that they were hoping for something more, he'd stop it before it got too far, before he let it get to a point where he'd have to just break her heart later. Though he'd usually try to then steer her in the direction of a man who looked more willing to get with a woman who wanted a real relationship. And then he'd move on, and of course eventually he'd find a woman who was no more interested in anything more than a one-night-stand than he.

But those were empty nights, outmatched in emptiness only by the nights he spent alone, where he hungered for more.

Juvia made him remember that hunger. There had been something about her that had just spoken to some deep part inside of him. Like sunlight hitting ice.

At the same time though, he couldn't let himself take that step into something more. He had to treat this the same as any other woman who wanted something more—well, except this time, it was he who was finding himself wanting more.

Everyone close to you just ends up dead.

And there he was, as she was getting out of his truck, about to ask her if she might be interested in…he didn't even know. But he'd been letting his feelings think for him rather than his head in that moment, clouded as they were.

He resolved then, next time, to be a little colder to her if she started to warm to him or something like that, as he slid on his shoulder holster supplied with mags, and then a shirt patterned in palm trees, but left it unbuttoned (as was his style).

"Yo, Gray, you comin'?" Natsu called as he locked up the one computer they had for running all the financial side of things for the shop.

"Yeah, yeah." Gray came into the office from the break room and went over to the desk and collected the folders full of different customers' paperwork. He was about to shove them all in the file drawer when he caught sight of the name printed on the tab of the top folder.

Lockser, Juvia.

And he smiled a little. She certainly was something. Even if there was no way they could ever be close like he had a feeling he might want to try, he still liked the idea that she could be friends with his friends. That she could come work at the Fairy Tail Bar as a jazz singer and fall in with the rest of the little family they'd formed there.

He just hoped he could hold himself together if his heart started getting ahead of him.

Then again, there was also a very tiny and devilish part of him deep down that wanted to point out that maybe she'd turn out to be just like all the other women who'd only want him for a night and that was it.

Problem was, if that happened, he wasn't sure how they could stay friends. None of the other one-night stands had been anyone who was someone he already knew, who was supposed to be a friend, whoever stuck around as a regular. They were always just drifting through town, on their way to bigger and better things.

With a sigh he snapped out of his thoughts before they turned morose (as they were wont to do when let himself grow too pensive) and shoved the folders in the file.

Natsu got up from the chair in front of the now-locked computer and stretched. "All right, let's get this party started!" He swiped his own shirt from the back of the chair and threw it on. He'd already strapped on his shoulder holster.

Gray pulled open the drawer with his and Natsu's respective pistols and took out his own. He checked the clip inside the silver Desert Eagle to make sure it was still full before he stuck it in his own shoulder holster underneath his open shirt. Natsu did the same with his gun.

"Been awful quiet, y'know," Natsu mused aloud.

"Eh?" Gray grabbed his pack of cigarettes and his lighter and stuffed them in the front pocket of his unbuttoned shirt.

"Just thinkin'," said Natsu, swiping his own smokes from the desk. "I mean…it's a good thing right? That there's been six months now without a shootout around here? No trouble?"

Gray raised his eyebrows at him. "You sayin' you want a shootout? Cuz I'm happy to go, man."

"Shut up," said Natsu, aware that Gray was joking.

The two of them might've butt heads occasionally, but they'd never had cause to turn their guns on each other.

Gray hoped it would stay that way.

There had been another person in his life who he'd thought he'd never have to turn his gun on, and he'd been sorely wrong in the end.

"Natsu, it's fine," he said as the two of them headed out of the office, he reaching around Natsu's back to flip the light switch off. Then as Natsu went and shut and locked the door behind them, he added, "We got guns if things do get bad again, but I'd rather things got to a point where we didn't have to use 'em at all anymore. 'Cept maybe for stress relief at the shooting range."

"Ha!" Natsu gave the locked door a good tug before the turned and clapped Gray on the shoulder. "Well, I guess as long as you and I are here, things'll be fine no matter what. We did a pretty good job, picking up Scarlet's slack. 'Specially those punks from Lullaby. Jeez, what the hell kinda gang name's Lullaby, anyway?"

"Oh come on now," said Gray, a little teasingly. "Don't call it slack. She was taking advantage of the fact that our hands aren't tied by fuckin' protocol like hers are. And don't get me wrong, she's the woman for the job, and she bends the rules where she can—"

"Right, but without us, she'd never get a moment's peace from work."

"Nah, I won't argue with that."

Out front Gray pulled down the garage door and locked it. That was the last thing on their close list. Well, actually, the last thing was that after that, there was their ritual of having a smoke in front of the shop before heading down to Fairy Tail.

"So…." Natsu raised his eyebrows in that way of his.

"Don't even ask, Pink Head," said Gray, though Natsu actually managed to wear his pink hair with no small amount of manliness. Not that pink couldn't be a man's color.

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? It wasn't like I was gonna say, 'So, you ask that Juvia chick out, or what?' Oh, guess I just did."

"Okay, so I did ask if she wanted to come to Fairy Tail and try for singing jazz during a couple slots, but that's it."

"Yeah, and you totally didn't have any hidden motives behind that…you sly S.O.B.." Natsu raised his eyebrows again, taking a drag on his cigarette.

Gray pointed at him with his cigarette between his fingers. "You…are an ass. Now let's get this straight: I'm not interested in any woman that way. Never have been, never will be."

Natsu huffed and flicked ash onto the gravelly ground. "Look, man, I know how you roll. You run into a girl who's passing through at the bar, she's only there for one night, she's interested in only one night with you, and you give her that, feed her Poptarts in the morning or drink the coffee she makes you and then she goes on her merry fucking way and you act like nothing happened."

"Yeah, and I'd like to keep it that way." Gray took a really deep drag on his cigarette and then snorted out a thick stream of smoke. "Got that?"

"Yeah, I get it." Natsu finished his cigarette and then dropped it to the ground and crushed it underfoot. "I don't think it makes you happy though. I mean…if you were just a man-whore, I'd leave it alone, but…you work hard to make sure that the ladies you screw around with really and truly don't want anything more than one night with you. Like you are so damn careful that you're not breaking any hearts while you get off."

Gray laughed, but he knew it was hollow. "Why shouldn't I be happy though? I get to fuck without all the complicatedness of an actual relationship."

Natsu frowned at him, like he didn't buy it. Like he knew that there were times that Gray would glance at him and Lucy and how happy they were together and feel just an icy flash of envy.

Thankfully though, he knew how stubborn Gray could be and he backed off.

"Whatever man. We'd better jet."

"Yeah. Fine."

Gray finished his cigarette too then and ground it into the gravel with his boot.

Then they hopped into Gray's truck and headed down the road to Fairy Tail.

The bar was quiet when they got there. But then, they were the first to arrive for the night that was to come, and Mirajane Strauss was just opening shop now that twilight was imminent, the dying rays of the sun filtering through the red, green, blue, and clear class in the intricately patterned mullioned windows.

"Heya!" Mirajane called, waving from behind the bar.

This was a new bar, actually, high quality polished wood imported from Britain. She was very proud of it, and she made anyone who nicked it apologize to it. Now, in the orange glow of early evening, it blazed bright maple, the shelves full of colorful glass bottles of beer, wine, liquor, and spirits of all shapes and sizes winking, glistering.

Towards the back on the little stage, Mirajane's little sister Lisanna was checking the mike, while her little brother Elfman made short work of taking the chairs and stools off the tables. The pool table still hadn't had its plastic sheet taken off yet. But the lights were bathing the place in their warm, sleepy glow, their softness inviting people to relax, have a drink, and forget how harsh and cruel the world outside could be.

And over the bar, there was a little sign that said, "Fairy Tail," with a painted wood cutout of a green-haired fairy in a coquettish green dress.

"Her name's Absinthe," said Mirajane, grinning.

"Absinthe? What the hell kinda name is that?" Gray laughed without thinking.

He realized his mistake too late as Mirajane took it personally and sniffled like she were crying.

"I thought it'd be cute," she whimpered. "Because a nickname for absinthe's 'green fairy'…it was a Bohemian thing…or something like that…!"

"Mira, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that!" Gray apologized hastily, holding up his hands with sincere contrition.

Of course Mirajane knew he didn't mean anything by it and she easily forgave him.

Gray found himself smiling as he remembered that.

"So, what's on tap tonight, Mira?" asked Natsu, taking a seat at the bar.

Mirajane snapped the dishcloth that was in her hand and put that hand on her hip, leaning against the bar. "I've got something new in…it's this new brand that's infusing fruit with beer. This one's Strawberry Amber."

Gray slid in next to Natsu and the two of them looked at each other.

"Strawberry Amber?" they both asked.

"I'll take some of that!"

Everyone looked round at the door to see who'd just come in and caught that last bit of their conversation.

"ERZA!" everyone cheered—all five of them so far, anyway.

"Hey guys!" Chief Erza Scarlet of the seventh precinct came up between Gray and Natsu and clapped them on the shoulders. "First round's on me tonight!" She was beaming, blushing like she was already three sheets to the wind. Then she went around and set her purse on the bar, took out the ties that were holding her red hair up in a bun out so that those gorgeous locks fell and caught the sun like fire (her boyfriend, Sargent Jellal Fernandes, discharged with honors, like to tell her it made him think of marmalade at sunrise), and then she slid off her suit jacket and laid it over a barstool.

"Oh? What's the occasion?" Natsu asked.

"Jellal! He's being released from the hospital tomorrow!"

"Seriously? Erza, that's fantastic!" And it was a sign of how close they all were really were that Gray was able to just throw an arm around Erza's shoulders in a one-armed hug. And then after he let go, Natsu gave her a full-on bear hug. From the first day they'd met, Erza had basically unofficially adopted the two of them as her little brothers, as well as her secret weapons when the rules needed breaking to get a job done.

"It's like we said, Erza, guy's gonna pull through," said Natsu when he pulled back, grinning.

But Gray could tell that Erza was putting so much effort in being cheerful about this because she needed to protect herself from her doubts. This wasn't the first time Jellal had gone in for intensive treatment for the PTSD he'd suffered after he came home from his tour of service with the marines. So this wasn't the first time he'd been released with the hope that he and Erza would both be able to make it work.

At the same time though, he admired Erza's tenacity. No matter what, even if in the end he was going to have go through this revolving door dance for the rest of his life, she would always be there on the other side, waiting for him. Her voice had cracked when she once admitted that Jellal had told her with moving sincerity that it was her visits to him when he was in the hospital that encouraged him to work hard on getting better. He was trying so hard for her, and in the end, that would be more than enough for the both of them, knowing that the other was still going to be there.

He felt that pang in his chest again, that desire for something more. Something like what Erza and Jellal had, and—

And then Lucy Heartfilia showed up, along with Levy McGarden, both of them wearing cute tank tops and mini-skirts and platform shoes. Levy had a new headscarf on in her periwinkle hair, and Lucy had her hair up in one of her high ponytails with a scrunchie and, dangling from her ears, glittering, hot-pink, heart-shaped earrings.

"Natsu!" she squealed, dashing over to the bar, Levy laughing after her.

Natsu caught Lucy to him and swung her around, both of them beaming. When they pulled back, Lucy leaned up on her tip-toes towards Natsu's waiting lips.

Gray averted his eyes, but he still caught sight of Lucy's feet, snug in those platforms, and the way one of them lifted into the air behind her.

"PDA Alert!" Levy teased.

And when Gray looked up, Natsu and Lucy were just breaking apart.

"Very funny, Levy," Natsu groused while Erza laughed out loud.

But then Natsu slid his arm around Lucy's waist and the two of them very casually enjoyed their closeness to each other as they chatted with Gray and Erza and Levy and all their other friends as they all trailed in one after another, ready for another night at the Fairy Tail Bar.

By six the place was packed.

Makarov Dreyar, ex-chief of police at the seventh precinct and Erza's mentor, was there of course, wearing a Hawaiian shirt and happily getting drunk on behalf of Erza and her good news about Jellal. And then naturally he meandered into old stories—some already told thousands of times and some not yet told until now—about the old days from when he'd started a young rookie beat cop.

His grandson Laxus was there too, a little more reined in, as he was more or less his grandfather's designated driver, then again that was basically based on two things, that he was blood, and that he'd be the less drunk of the two by the end of the night. Able to still see straight anyway while he half-carried a drunkily singing Makarov out to the car.

Levy's two buds from college, Jet and Droy, were putting on a sort of trivia match just to show off how smart they all were, and as usual, Levy showed them both up. Then again, she was the best defense attorney that had come around, and she was starting to turn the legal system around to curb the disadvantages the less fortunate had when it came to dealing with the law, and Gray and Natsu along with the rest of Fairy Tail couldn't be prouder of her for it.

Meanwhile, Macao and Enno, both buddies since they served in Vietnam, were smoking cigars and trying hard not to be creepy while they tried to flirt with a group of women who were their way to D.C. for a protest of some sort. Unfortunately neither of them were anything close to a Hugh Heffner.

Max and his crew were playing pool, Alzack and Bisca were gushing over their six-year old daughter Asuka's stellar grades in school, Evergreen was there with her friends Bickslow and Freed laughing it up before they'd crawl over to the local gay club later (at Freed's request of course), and then Lisanna and Elfman tried to do their standup, and somehow even though their jokes weren't conventionally funny, everyone laughed out of genuine amusement born of genuine affection.

Then Mirajane sang a set while Lisanna and Elfman took over pouring the drinks and ringing people out, opening and closing tabs. By now, things had mellowed out from the rowdiness of before, and all the while, Gray and Natsu had been at the bar, sharing laughs and stories with Erza and Lucy (both of whom at one point had gotten up on the bar and table-danced when "Shots" came on over the speakers), and then, now that it was quiet, and everyone was listening to Mirjane doing a beautiful cover of a Nora Jones' "Turn Me On", Gray, who had two beers, two scotches, that Strawberry Amber (which had been really good actually), and a few vodka shots in his system, was now nursing a glass of cheap brandy, and as he did, his mind fell back into thoughts of Juvia Lockser the way he might fall back into the world's most comfortable bed.

He sighed and tried to push them back, swirling his glass.

He noticed Natsu watching him, as if he could sense the melancholy that had fallen over him. And suddenly he felt smothered. He loved all the people in this room. Everyone here considered themselves a part of one large family, after all. But there were times when he considered breaking away and going back to going it alone, like he had for a while before stumbling into this town.

If someone who was gunning for him found him here, someone he knew here might get hurt because of it, and he had enough blood on his hands of all sorts to last him a thousand lifetimes.

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of a dark-hair girl with a white ribbon in her hair wink at him flirtatiously, and Gray felt sick in his stomach instead of turned on.

Not tonight.

Decisively, he knocked back the rest of his drink and then got up from the bar. He caught Natsu's eye again and shook his head, knowing he was asking without words if he wanted company, well aware that the guy was heading out back for a smoke.

The night air was warm, but not too warm. It was perfect, and freeing for a guy who needed a quiet minute to himself. He lit up a cigarette and sipped on it, thinking about things he regretted, things that even alcohol couldn't make him forget. Dark things.

And then they turned back to Juvia, and he had to shake himself out of it. She was the kind of girl who didn't deserve to be dragged into his world of demonic shadows. She wasn't the first woman he'd been struck by like this, and she wouldn't be the last. But there would never be a woman he could love the way she deserved. The hearts he let in either ended up broken or they stopped beating altogether. He would see couples like Natsu and Lucy, and Erza and Jellal, and even Evergreen and Elfman, and knew he had to seal himself off from the kind of hope that having something like that brought.

You can't have that, Gray chided himself as he finished his cigarette and flung it to the pavement. You just can't.

And he got a good reminder, as if the universe were trying to make for damn sure that he was going to listen to that advice to himself, right when he was finishing off his cigarette and twisting the smoldering end of it into the pavement underneath the toe of his boot, and immediately heard the click of the hammer on a gun as it was cocked behind him, followed by the nose of it pressed into the middle of his back.

Gray froze.

"There you are, you piece of shit."

The voice was one Gray hadn't heard in years, but he'd heard it floating around in his recollections since the last time he had and could hardly forget it.

The corner of his mouth curved upward.

"Hey there…Lyon."