I'm proud of this chapter, I really like it... I don't own anything!
"Sonic Boom..." I say as I pass it in the mall. I sigh and look down at the ground. I haven't been here since Ally turned eighteen, right before we moved out to New York. I don't know why I came here really... I don't really have anything with me either, just my credit card and phone, which is dead. I've been walking around the mall for about an hour now and I don't know what to do. I'm gonna get room at a motel and I'll probably stop to get a phone charger before I leave the mall. I look around the mall, looking at all the places Trish had jobs or Ally and I went on secret dates and the Melody Diner...
Sighing, I stand up, walking toward radio shack (don't own) and buy a charger. By now it's like, nine o'clock and I walk to the motel, which is like, 3 miles away. It takes me about an hour but when I get there, I get a room and jog up the stairs and to my room. I'm am so done. I just can't do this anymore. It'll be over eventually.
I grab one of the knives from the kitchen and cut my arm a few times. I scream in frustration and throw the knife into the wall. I collapse to the floor and sit there, pulling my hair out for God knows how long before I get up. I look at my phone and see multiple messages from Dez and Ally.
'You need to get your stuff out of here' ~Ally
'Where are you?' ~Dez
'Idc if you don't want it, I don't want it either. Get it out." ~Ally
'Im serious Austin.' ~Ally
'Where are you?' ~Ally
'You okay?' ~Dez
'Please answer. I'm worried about you.' ~Dez
I don't bother to read the rest, I just text him back. 'Im fine.' I say and he immediately texts back. 'Where are you?' He asks and I roll my eyes. 'A motel.' I say and he responds two minutes later. 'Why? You can stay here' it says and I sigh. 'I'm not in New York.' I tell him because I don't want them to know where I am. 'What?! Where? Come home. This is ridiculous!' He says and I roll my eyes again, ignoring the text.
I think about you eve-
My ring tone blasts through the speakers, smashing my hand down immediately, not wanting to hear Ally sing 'I think about you'. I answer the phone and Dez's voice rings through the speakers immediately. "Where are you Austin? This isn't even funny." He says and I can hear Ally and Trish's voices in the background. "I'm at a motel, I told you already." I say and he groans. "Wh- Aus- just please, c-come home." He stutters as he tries to speak. I think about it for a minute but Trish's voice that comes through the back brings me to reality. "Why would you want him to come back Dez? He hurt Ally really badly." I close my eyes and stand up, pacing throughout the small room. "And she hurt him right back! Austin's our best friend and none of us would be where we are without him!" He yells and I groan. "Please Dez don't-" he cuts me off. "Don't do it Austin. Do not* defend them because they're wrong. You need to come back." He says and I shake my head. "Dez, he can't be that far. He'll come back eventually." I hear Ally's voice cut in. "No he won't! He's in a motel in some other f****** state and you guys are sitting here crying while he's alone! He's alone with no one to help him and while you sit here crying, he's probably f****** cutting himself!" He screams, breathing heavily. "Dez, I'll be fine. I'll talk to you later." I say and hang up before he can say anything else.
Dez's POV
"Austin-" I get cut off when he hangs up. I groan in frustration and throw my phone at the wall, cracking it in the process. "Really? Neither of you care that Austin moved and we don't know where he could be or what he could be doing?!" I scream. Ally shrugs and Trish shakes her head. "Well I do and I'm gonna go find him whether you guys like it or not." I say and Trish stands. "If you walk out that door..." She says and I raise my eyebrows. "Don't bother coming back." She finished and I freeze. "Trish..." I say and she shakes her head. "That's ridiculous..." I say and she walks toward me. "No it's not Dez. You walk out that door and we're done." She says, tears falling freely down her face. "I'm sorry. I love you and Aust so much but I need to find him... Someone needs to be with him or he will* kill himself. No matter how much you hate him, he doesn't deserve to die." I say, clenching my now broken phone in my hand. "You of all people would understand how I feel about my family and friends Trish. He's like a brother to me." I say grabbing my jacket. She walks over to me, placing her ring in my hand. I groan in frustration. "D*** it!" I say kicking the wall. I swing the door open and slam it shut, going into the hall. I just lost my wife and child. Now I know how Austin felt. Like s***. I grab my phone and call him again.
"Yeah Dez?" He asks into the phone. He sounds so weak and fragile. "Where are you? I'm not kidding. I just walked out on Trish to find you so don't f****** tell me that you're fine!" I say. "You what?!" He screams and I squeeze my eyes shut. "You heard me. Where. Are. You?" I ask through clenched teeth. "I'm in Miami." He says and I nod even though he can't see me. "I'm on my way." I say and he groans. "No, I'll come back. Don't fly all the way to Florida." He tells me and I let out a humorless chuckle. "I just lost my wife and kid. I don't need to be here anymore." I tell him and hang up. Let's go to Miami.
Line break
"Austin, I'm at the motel, which room are you?" I ask and I can practically hear Austin roll his eyes. "Are you crazy? You actuall- oh my God, you are insane." He says and I shake my head. "Room 325" he says and I hang up, heading toward the elevator.
I knock on the door and Austin comes out, blood up and down his arms, his face, everywhere. "Austin it's gotta stop." I tell him and he shrugs. "I'm fine..." He says and I sigh. "Austin, this is gonna kill you. You have to stop..." I say and he shakes his head. "You guys have to realize that, that's what I want..." He trails off. "Please Austi-" I get cut off by my phone ringing. It's Trish. "Answer it." He says and I nod. "Hello?" I ask and Trish yells at me. "Where the h*** are you?" She screams and I scrunch my eyebrows in confusion. "With Austin." I say and his eyes go wide and he shakes his head. "I hope going to find him was worth it Dez." She says and I sigh. "It was worth saving someone's life, especially my best friends." I tell her and I hear her cry before she hangs up. I sigh and go toward Austin. "Now what?" I ask him and he shrugs again.
He lets out a small laugh, kind of like a puff of air. "If you told me, five years ago that I was going to be in depression and I wanted to kill myself, I would've thought you were insane. I used to think that the thought of suicide was ridiculous, repulsive, especially over a girl but now... It seems like the norm for me. My daily life." He says and I nod. "It was supposed to be mine and Ally's eleventh anniversary tomorrow... And it's Ariana's second birthday." He says and I put my hand on his knee. "I know it's hard but you can't go hurt yourself. Please." I say and he nods. "I'll try." I nod a small thanks at him.
Austin's POV
The next day
It's Ariana's birthday today and whether I'm with them or not, I have to tell her happy birthday. I grab my phone and call Ally. "What do you want Austin?" She asks as soon as she answers. "I want to say happy birthday to Ari." I tell her and she laughs. "No." She tells me, still laughing. "Why are you laughing?" I ask in my week voice. "You think you could just call and talk to her." She says and I look at Dez with confusion and he shrugs because he can't hear her. "She's my daughter... Of course I can talk to her." I say and she laughs a humorless chuckle. "She's not your daughter." She states. "What?" I ask, genuinely confused. "You will never be her father." She says and hangs up on me.
I groan in frustration and throw my phone to the ground. "See? This is the s*** that I can't f****** handle!" I say, grabbing a knife. "Austin, stop!" Dez screams running up to me. I slice my neck, two or three inches. Everything gets blurry and I stumble backward, smashing against the cabinet. I collapse to the ground and groan. I push the knife through my side, right through my ribs and Dez takes the knife out of my side and throws it in the sink. He grabs his phone and dials 911 before I black out, once again...
Dez's POV
The doctor comes out from the room and sighs. "How is he? Can I see him?" I ask hurriedly and he shakes his head. "Not yet..." He says and my shoulders slump. "Is he okay?" I ask and he shakes his head again, breaking the last piece of hope I had left. "I'm afraid he won't make it but we'll keep him until..." He says and I stare at him. "I'm sorry..." He finishes walking away. I stand in the hall, slowly breaking down. "No!" I scream and kick the wall, putting a hole through it in the process. "D*** it Austin! I don't know what I'm gonna do!" I scream and smash into the wall. "Please..." I whisper, my back sliding down the wall.
I grab Austin's phone and dial Ally's number because mines dead. "What did I tell you Au-" she starts and I cut her off. "What did you say to him?" I ask, tears in my voice and she doesn't answer. "What the h*** did you say to him?! You know he's f****** suicidal!" I scream and she sighs into the phone. "Tell me what you said Ally!" I scream and she ponders for a moment. "I told him he would never be Ariana's father..." She whispers and I groan. "You-you... I don't even know how to describe you anymore. You are a sick human being! To do something so horrible to someone who loves you as much as he does!" I scream again and everyone in the waiting room stares at me, tears streaming down my face. "Dez, don't take his side! You didn't see what happened!" She yells at me and I let out a puff. "It doesn't matter what happened! It matters what's happening now!" I tell her and she laughs. "I'm pretty sure I'm feeling c******* than you right now Dez so leave me alone!" She starts yelling and now I laugh at her. "Are you kidding?! I lost my wife, child and my best friend thanks to you!" I scream and she's silent. "W-what?" She asks and I shake my head, wiping the tears. "He tried to kill himself again Ally... But this time..." I squeeze my eyes shut, clenching my phone tighter. "They don't think he'll make it..."