Hey guys! Sorry I didn't update yesterday! Don't own anything!
Bye Ari, love you..." Ally says, tears falling from her eyes. "Bye Mommy!" She says smiling and hugging her legs. "Bye Ar, I'll see you later, love you." I tell her and I hear a sob come from Ally. "Love you daddy!" She Ari says and I bend down to pull her in for a hug. We walk from the school, hand in hand, Ally hysterically crying. "Alls, it's fine... I promise." I tell her, rubbing soothing circles on her back.
We walk into the studio, for the first time since before the tour. "Mr. and Mrs. Moon, Jimmy's waiting for you upstairs." The woman at the desk said and I laugh when Ally blushes. I roll my eyes at her and bring her toward the elevator. I pull her in for a kiss and sigh against her lips. She licks my bottom lip which makes me moan. "D*** Mrs. Moon..." I say with a laugh. Someone clears their throat behind us and we jump apart. "Sorry..." I say and I grab Ally's hand, pulling her out of the elevator and to Jimmy's office.
"Ah, hello Austin and Ally. How are you guys feeling?" He asks and I smile. "Can I talk to Jimmy alone for a few minutes Alls?" I ask and she tilts her head in confusion. "Why?" She asks and I sigh. "Please?" I ask and she nods, walking outside. "Please, sit." Jimmy says and I nod, sitting in the empty seat. "So what did you need to talk about?" He asks and I sigh. "You heard about the recent um... Incident... Correct?" I ask, looking up at his face as he nods. "The doctor told me that it's going to be a lot harder for me to breath while singing so I had to get an inhaler." I tell him and he nods. "He said that I have to go back every Thursday, but since we started work again... Can we try to work around that doctors appointment?" I ask and he nods. "Of course." He says and I nod.
I walk out of the room and tell Ally she can come back in. "Ah, Ally. Do you have any new songs?" He asks her and she nods. "They're kind of sad though... I wrote them when Austin w-" She gets cut off with a sob. I grab her had and look at Jimmy apologetically. He shakes his head, signaling that he understands. "Alls, I'm fine. It's o-" she cuts me off. "It's over. I know but that doesn't change the fact that I hurt you and made you try to kill yourself!" She gets louder with every word, screaming by the end. "Alls, we've been over this. It's not your fault..." I tell her and she gets up, running from the room. "I'm sorry Jimmy... I think it's a little too soon still... Can we start next week?" I ask him and he nods. "Yes, please take all the time you need. We'll start Saturday." He tells me and I nod a thanks before running out the door to find Ally.
"Alls..." I say as I knock on the locked door of the car. She looks up at me, tears in her eye and opens the door. I sit down in the drivers seat and sigh. "Ally, please... Let this go. Its not your fault." I tell her and she lets out another sob. "I'm trying... I j-just... I feel so bad..." She cries, one of her tears dripping into my hand. "Don't feel bad. I'm fine now. Ally you have to realize that!" I say and she takes a deep breath. "I just need you to know that I'm sorry and that I love you." She says and I nod, kissing her lips. "I love you too..." I say and she smiles.
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"So you guys can't come Friday?" I ask over the phone and Rydel sighs. "Sorry Austin... Why can't we do this weekend?" She asks me and I groan. "We have to work!" I say and she calls something out to someone else. "What about Thursday?" She asks and I scratch the back of my neck awkwardly. "I have to go to the doctor Thursday..." I say and she sighs. "What about Wednesday?" I ask, changing the subject quickly. "Hold on, let me check..." She said and I wait two minutes. "Nope, Rocky can't. What about to tomorrow?" She asks and I nod. "That's perfect." I say and she laughs. "Finally. Well I gotta go, I'll see you tomorrow..." She says and hangs up. "Alls, my family's coming tomorrow..." I say and she smiles. "Good, you'll finally tell them and we can get married." She says, reaching up on her toes to kiss me. "Finally..." I say against her lips and I smile. "Are you nervous?" She asks me and I sit down. "Very." She laughs at me. "Don't, everything will be fine." She says with a laugh and I smile. "Fine."
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My family is coming today and we dropped Ari at daycare. Dez and Trish are gonna pick her up for us and then drop her off here. "Allyyyyy..." I whine, making her laugh. "C'mon, you're telling your family! They all love you and you love them." She says and I sigh. "My dad certainly does not love me. He doesn't support anything I do or say even when I was a kid. I don't even know why he agreed to come." I say and she grabs my hand. "He loves you Austin. He's your father.." She says and I start to protest but get cut off.
"Knock knock!" I hear a familiar voice say and I freeze. No. Please no. Ally walks up to the door and pulls it open, smiling at my family. "Hi, I'm Ally. Nice to meet you all." She says, stepping aside to let them in. They all give her confused looks, not walking in and I groan, standing up and walking toward them. I put an arm around her waist and I look down at her, giving her a weak smile. "Hey guys, come on in..." I say an they all walk inside slowly. "I'm not trying to be rude or anything but... I thought this was a family meeting..." Rocky says and I nod. "Ally and I are um... Well we... You know..." I stutter uncontrollably and Ally grabs my hand. "I'm just gonna come out and say it..." She says and my fathers eyes widen. "You're pregnant! Aren't you?!" He screams and we both look at each other. "We're engaged." I say and everyone gasps, then coming up to each of us and congratulating us. Except my dad. Of course.
"Dad. If you're going to sit there like that the whole time, not bothering to even say hello to us, then go." I say and he turns around and walks out the door. "Just like that. He doesn't even care." I whisper and Ally walks up from behind me and hugs me. "Don't worry Austin. He'll come around." She says and I turn her around pulling her in for a hug. "He shouldn't have* to come around. He should be here now. He's my father." I tell her and she nods as we rock back and forth.
"Yo Austin!" Rocky calls out and I sigh. "Yeah man?" I call back and he comes over to me, Ally leaving in the process. "I have a question..." He says and I nod, signaling him to continue. "Have you ever... Ya know...?" He asks and I turn my head away from him in embarrassment. "Yeah..." I say, scratching the back of my neck. "Awesome man!" He says, putting his hand up for a high five but I shake my head no. "When was your first time?" He asks and I smile. "Almost three years ago. The same night I asked Ally to marry me." I say and he pats me on the shoulder. "Was she your first?" He asks and I nod. "Were you her first?" He asks, me nodding again. "How do you know?" He continues to bombard me with questions. "We've been dating since we were fourteen. And trust me. You could tell*." I tell him and he nods, laughing. "Little bro finally got laid!" He says and I stand up, shaking my head at him. "You're an a***-" I get cut off by the door bell.
I feel an ounce of hope run through me, hoping it'll be my dad. For him to be proud of me. Of one thing I've done. When I open the door, I find my dad with an angry expression on his face. I clear my throat and he pushes past me, into the living room. I shrug my shoulders and go to turn around to I back to talking to Rocky again but the doorbell rings again.
I go over to the door and open it to find Ari with Dez, Trish and Aust. My eyes widen and I freeze in my place. "Hi daddy..." I could almost feel* everyone's eyes on me. "Hey Ar, how was daycare?" I ask and she smiles. "Good! I wearn (learn) lots!" She says as I laugh. "C'mere." I say, bending down and lifting her up, which makes her laugh.
I turn around and look at my family's shocked faces. "Um... This is my daughter. Her name is Ariana and she's turning three in August." I say and everyone just stares at me. "Ar... This is Aunt Rydel, Uncle Rocky, Uncle Riker and Uncle Ratliff..." I say, walking up to the three of them, each the same expression on their faces. "Hi..." Ari says and she stuffs her face back in my chest. "Don't be shy..." I tell her and she turns back to my cousins. "I'm Awiana..." She says and everyone 'aw's but my dad. I sigh, walking over to Ari's room, mouthing 'sorry' to my family before walking in.
"Princess, can you draw me a picture?" I ask and she nods. "Of what?" She asks me, grabbing her markers and paper. "Anything you want..." I tell her and she frowns. "No daddy, you tell me or I can't dwaw it!" She says and I think for a minute. "Can you draw a picture of you, me and mommy? All together?" I ask and she smiles, nodding. She stands up and pushes me out the door. "Out! I'll tell you when I done." She says and closes the door which makes me laugh.
"You have a daughter?!" My dad yells and I smile. "Yep!" I say and he scowls at me. "You are too young to have a daughter and you are certainly way too irresponsible to have a daughter!" He yells at my and I feel my face heat up. I go to say something but he continues, cutting me off. "Ally is a horrible influence on you too!" He screams and I start walking toward him. This is not gonna end well. I feel a hand tug on my arm but I shake it off, ready to throw a punch at my dad. "Austin please..." Ally's voice cuts in and I swallow hard. "Please..." She repeats herself and I sigh, standing back. I turn around to walk away but my dad starts. Again.
"You need to get your act together Austin." He says and I squeeze my eyes shut before turning back to him to yell. "I'm almost twenty five! You have absolutely no control over me anymore! Maybe, if you opened your eyes a little and stopped hating me, for a minute! You'd realize that I'm happy! You have no right to waltz in here to tell me any of that. You haven't checked up on me in years*!" I scream and everyone's silent. You can hear a pin drop. "You're fine! Aren't you?!" He asks and I can feel Ally's eyes on me. I know the question her eyes and asking. I pull off my shirt slowly and sigh. "I wasn't... I went into f****** depression." I say and I see my dads eyes widen. "W-what are those scars from...?" He asks and I step back. "Cutting myself! If you cared enough about me, you would've known that I went on tour, I passed out on stage, I cut myself, had a daughter... Or I don't know... That I was just in the hospital for six d*** months because I tried to kill myself! For the second f****** time!" I scream and everyone is still. No one knew any of that. I wasn't expecting them to. I swallow hard and turn around, grabbing my shirt and going into Ari's room.
"Hey Ar..." I say and she looks up at me, tears in her eyes. "What's the matter Princess...?" I ask and she looks at me intently. "Why you want kill yoursef daddy?" She asks and I freeze in shock. "What baby?" I ask and a tear slips from her eye. "Don't weave me daddy..." She says, pulling me in for a hug. "Don't worry... I'm not going anywhere..." I say and she nods. She cries herself to sleep and I put her in her bed.
I sigh and walk outside, everyone's eyes on me. "Alls..." I say and she raises her eyebrows, letting me know to continue. "She just asked me why I want to kill myself..." I say, my eyebrows scrunching down as I sat at the kitchen table. "What'd you say?" She asks and I sigh. "She said don't leave me and I promised her I wouldn't. Then she cried herself to sleep." I say and she sits down, grabbing my hand.
I look at my family and wait for someone to say something. "She's adorable..." Rydel says and I smile, nodding. "I'm proud of you Austin... Really. Congrats on the engagement too." Rocky says and I give him a small smile. We all begin to talk, acting normally except my dad. "Man, dads not happy..." Rocky tells me and I nod. "Are you okay... Now?" He asks and I nod. "Yeah..." I say and he looks at me. "When did it start?" He asks and I sigh. "About three years ago..." I say and he nods. "What happened?" I sigh and think back to way long ago. "Someone was after Ally. They were blackmailing her. It was stressing me out and I don't know. I started cutting myself. I stopped eating a lot and I couldn't ever sleep... The guy blackmailed me so I quit singing but she did too. She made me go to the police and sort everything out." I start and my heart starts to race at the memory. "I..." I take a deep breath. "I went on tour but Ally and Trish didn't come because they were pregnant and I made Dez stay. They needed someone." I say and he nods. "I didn't want to go on tour but Ally said it was a once in a lifetime chance. That I had to go." I say and he waits patiently for me to continue. "I was on the tour bus alone so it was easier for me to not eat and easier to cut myself. Some annoying paparazzi took a picture of me cutting myself though and everyone found out. It was... It was horrible..." I say and he nods. "I passed out in stage during my concert and Ally, Trish and Dez flew out because I was in the hospital. They knew everything and they made me stop. Well... Try to stop. I ate more and I cut less but when Ally was in the hospital..." I clench my jaw, holding my breath. "Something happened. It made a switch or something go off in my brain. I tried to kill myself that night. I missed Ariana's birth..." I say, swallowing the lump in my throat. This is when I realize that Rocky wasn't the only one listening. "I woke up a week later. We saw Ari later that day. She was premature." I say and I take a deep breath. "It was almost two years later. Ally and I kept fighting. I told her that I still cut myself. She never knew. She thought I was fine but really... I felt worse than ever before. When she left, I was going to jump of the terrace... But Dez stopped me. I moved to Miami because she was going to move and I told her she didn't have to..." I trail off and look at Ally, sobbing next to me. I put my arm around her and pull her in for a hug. "That next day was out eleven year anniversary a-" I get cut off by gasps and then sorry's after. "And... It was Ari's second birthday. Dez came to Miami. He was there when it happened and he tried to stop me. I stabbed myself then too. I was in the hospital for three months before I woke up but I was in the hospital for three months after that... That was about a week ago, maybe two?" I say and I shrug. "Is that why you have to go to the doctor on Thursday?" Rydel asks me and Ally looks at me with a confused expression on her face. I nod and I sigh. "I have to go back every Thursday for at lease two months..." I say and I hear Ally's sob. "It's fine Alls..." I say and she nods. I look at everyone's sorrowful faces and sigh. This is why I don't tell anyone about this. Nothing's the same after.
Ari's cries save me and I run to her room. "What's the matter baby?" I ask me but she's crying too hard to speak. "Ari..." I say and she shakes her head at me. "Bad dream?" I ask and she nods. I sigh, picking her up from her bed and she clings to me tightly. I walk out of her room and go to the fridge to get her some apple juice. I put her on my left hip as I grab the juice and a cup for her. I pour the juice for her and she takes it from me, drinking it quickly, smiling at me when she's done.
I go to set her down but she squeezes me tighter, making me sigh. "Alls, can you come her for a second?" I ask and she nods walking over to me. "I need to go talk to my dad for a minute... Will you hold her?" I ask and she nods. I walk over to my dad who is outside on the terrace. "I'm sorry." He states and I nod. "Really. And I'm proud of you." He says and I smile. That's the first time he's ever said that to me. "Thanks dad..." He nods at me. "The way you just were with Ariana there... You really are mature and responsible now. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you." He says and I nod. "Thanks." I say. We stay there in quiet before I hear Ari's small screams. "I better go..." I tell him and he nods.
"Daddy!" Ari screams and I look at her in confusion. "Honey, daddy's outside. He'll be right back." Ally tells her but she continues to cry. "I want daddy!" She screams and Ally looks up at me in confusion and I shrug. "Ar?" I ask and she gasps, hopping off the couch slowly and running toward me. "Daddy!" She screams, sobbing and hugging my legs. "Pumpkin... What's the matter?" I ask and she shakes her head. "Don't leave me." She says and I pull her close to me. "I'm not leaving you Princess." I say and she squeezes me tighter. "This is..." I say, walking to my mom and dad. "Grandma and Grandpa." I say and everyone laughs. "Hi gwama and gwampa." She says and I chuckle, kissing her cheek. "This is Aunt Rydel..." I tell her and she tilts her head. "Auntie Wydel..." She says and Rydel nods. "Yep that's me." She says with a laugh. "Do you want Aunt Rydel to hold you?" I ask her and she screeches, clinging to me. "She's usually not like this..." I tell her an she nods. "Why not?" Ally asks her and Ari screams. "I want daddy!" I sigh when she starts to cry. "What's the matter?" I ask her and she shakes her head. "Is it about me?" I ask and she nods. "I'll be right back Alls." I tell her, walking to Ari's bedroom.
She starts crying even harder when I go to set her on the bed so I pull her tight against my chest. "Please tell me what's wrong..." I say and she goes to speak but she's sobbing so hard that she can't. "Ari, deep breaths..." I say and she nods, her breathing becoming slower. "I don't want you to weave me daddy." She says and I look at her intently. "Is that why you're crying?" I ask and she nods, a choked sob coming through her throat. I try to set her on the bed but she clings to me. "I'm not leaving Ar." I say and she nods, letting go of me. "What's the matter Ar? Please tell me." I say as she starts to cry again. "I'm not leaving you Ar, I promise. Please tell me why you feel like I am." I tell her and she nods, breathing slowly. "You say you want to kill yoursef. You kill yoursef, you weave forever. Pwease daddy... Don't weave me. I'm twying to be good. I'm twying my hawdest daddy..." She says and I start crying. "Ari..." I say as I pull her in for a hug. It's not you..." I say and she sobs into my shoulder. "I pwomise I twying to be good! I pwomise daddy! Pwease. Pwease. I do anyting. Pwease daddy." She pleads and I cry a little harder. "It's not because of you Ar. I promise I'm staying with you, okay?" I say, my voice quivering because I'm crying. She nods, tears falling from her eyes and mine. I wipe both of our tears and walk out of the room. "What happened?" Ally asks and I sigh. "I'll tell you later..." I say and she nods.