Chapter Seven

Fuocoso

Perhaps it was better this way. Given her reason for being here, she had no right to love , it was just a matter of whether or not she wanted to come clean before leaving.

At least with Gray.

She was so exhausted the night before when she got home (Gray had offered her his shirt to keep her dry in the downpour but she'd gently pushed it away), that after the two of them had shared one last look at each other on the front stoop of the duplex, making her all the more aware of how complicated things had suddenly grown between them, she'd almost immediately crashed on her air mattress the moment she locked her door behind her.

In the morning, she was awoken by the klaxon of her cell. This interrupted not only her peaceful slumber, but the morning left peaceful in the aftermath of the storm in the night.

And there, on the caller ID screen, was Jose's name.

Groaning, she awkwardly rolled onto the floor and gained her feet, whereupon she stamped out of the house in her negligee, shoelessly pounding the grass and dirt damp from last night's rainfall, all the way down to the nearby creek, she wound up her arm and then hurled the jittering, clanging phone into the water. Watching the thing sink, its ring garbled beneath bubbles, she felt the vise around her heart loosen somewhat.

"Enough."

Then she turned on her heel and trudged back to the duplex, paying more heed to where she walked considering she was barefoot. Inside, she stripped and stepped into the shower, and when she stepped back out with her feet as well as the rest of her now fresh and clean, and this only further improved her mood.

The only thing that made her thoughts sink back into the depths of sadness was Gray.

On the one hand, Gray appeared to return her feelings. On the other, he was still averse to an actual relationship. She could see that he was the sort of guy who didn't do relationships, at least not close romantic ones, but even so.

There was that small piece of her that beyond her guilt, beyond her circumstances, she desperately wanted to be with him, if only so she could at least know what it was like to be happy for a little while.

She was allowed to at least want that, wasn't she?

Logically, seeing as how she'd just chucked her phone into the creek, and at this very moment she was more than sure that alarms were going off in Jose's head at the fact that this time she hadn't answered his call. Then again, maybe he was giving her the benefit of the doubt. The again, she doubted that her phone had lasted long enough for him to be able to leave a voicemail message before the water ruined the hardware.

So, again, he was probably at that very moment trying to work out why he couldn't get through to her.

After she pulled on a clean bra and underwear, and then her music note t-shirt and her yoga pants, she hugged herself as panic started bubbling painfully in her stomach. She started to feel slightly sick in fact, even though a moment ago she was ravenous for breakfast.

Oh Gray…if I could just stay with you…how I wish I could….

Her heart ached for it as though someone were slowly wrenching it out of her chest.

Juvia very forlornly and unenthusiastically pulled a box of her granola bars toward her in her little kitchen, but right then, she heard a knock at her front door.

Frowning, she stepped over to see who it was by peeking through the peephole first, an irrational part of her mind born of her fear jumping to the possibility that Aria or Sol or Totomaru, or even Jose himself, was on the other side.

But no.

It was Gray.

Her aching heart leapt, willing itself to live just a little longer.

She opened the door to find him standing there with two mugs of what looked like coffee, a smoldering cigarette tucked in the corner of his mouth.

"Morning." He nodded at her.

Juvia nodded back. "Good morning."

Gray held one of the coffees out to her. She noticed that there was an earnestness just underneath his otherwise standoffish and reserved demeanor.

"Can we talk?" he asked, the cigarette bobbing as he spoke.

Juvia took the coffee he offered her. It warmed her hands that she just realized were rather cold.

"Yeah," she said, "of course we can talk."

The two of them sat together on the front stoop of the duplex. Gray took a drag on his cigarette, now holding it between his two forefingers as he used both hands to clutch his hot mug of coffee.

Juvia cradled her own mug in much the same way, sans a cigarette. Though something about her gave him the sense that she might be craving one.

So, he asked, "Uh…you wanna smoke?"

"No. Thank you though." Juvia blew timidly on her coffee. "Um…how's your um…injury? Does it hurt?"

"Nah. Painkillers help."

"Good. Good."

Something was definitely off. Gray had a good guess as to what was the cause.

"Listen…" he sighed, with an effort.

She deserved an explanation. It would mean reopening old wounds, but, he had come to a decision about this last night, when he'd lain awake thinking about how sad she'd looked as he told her goodnight and left her alone: that not giving her an explanation of why he was so reluctant for a relationship with her that he otherwise very much craved actually hurt him more than those old wounds—wounds he'd believed could never be outdone in how painful they were.

And she looked up at him when he spoke now, with such open expectation that for a moment his throat closed and he couldn't go on. But he swallowed, took another deep breath, and pressed forward. Though he took another puff on his cigarette for good measure.

"When I was little…" he began, tapping off ash, "I…well, I was living with my parents. You know. Just a normal kid with a normal family. Actually, I was born in a house further upstate, in the mountains. I remember the winters there. So white, and so pretty. My father and I got into so many snowball fights, and Mom always made this special hot cocoa that for the life of me I haven't been able to make myself, not with the same taste as hers. It was the best.

"But…then when I was about eight, we had to move…I guess money got hard cuz…when we came down here…Mom and Dad sometimes seemed a bit sad…especially Dad when he'd get home…. And then…there was this time where I found a gun…in Dad's dresser drawer…."

"Your Silver Desert Eagle?"

"Yeah. That one. Anyway, he got pretty pissed at me…and I mean…I was no angel as a kid, but I'd never gotten him that mad before…. 'Course I realize now he'd been scared I'd hurt myself or worse. That and…well…wasn't long before it became clear that things had gotten so bad that he'd felt he needed a gun as a last resort to protect his family…but…he'd hated that he'd needed it. Just the same, he was willing to risk that…if he could keep me and Mom safe.

"Only he couldn't…."

There it was, the painful lump in his throat as it closed again. He swallowed and soldiered on. Still, it was hard as the memories started flickering in his mind's eye, nearly as fresh as when he'd first lived them.

"This one night…we were all in the kitchen…Mom was making dinner…and Dad was tryin' to help with my homework but…I guess we all just had the giggles or something cuz we were laughing more than anything else…I don't remember what about…I just remember we were laughing…."

Gray's voice cracked and broke and he swallowed again.

"Gray…."

But Gray shook his head. She needed to hear this. Even if he was going to take refuge in his coffee cup while he finished his story.

"And then…there was the pounding at the door…and a voice shouting through the door about 'the money'…Dad shoved me into the kitchen with Mom and told us to hide. And he grabbed the Desert Eagle. Mom said she thought that 'they were gonna give us more time', pleading with my father, but he shouted at her, begged her to take me and hide in the kitchen. The kitchen door swung shut just as Dad lifted his gun.

"Mom crouched with me by the stove. There was a bang, and then the shouts of more men coming inside our house. I remember Mom squeezing me so tight, and me hiding in her shirt, praying those men would go away and stop scaring me and my parents.

"We heard some arguing through the woodwork, before Dad shouted for my mother to take me and run for it. My father's truck—that one there—" Gray nodded to his truck parked in front of the duplex "—was out back. Mom could take me and grab the keys and dash out the backdoor if she were fast enough.

"Mom hugged him even closer as she scrambled to her feet, but froze at the sound of another gunshot, followed by a thud as a body hit the floor. Right after that, the kitchen door banged open, and these three guys, one of 'em with the word 'Deliora' tattooed on his shoulder, busted in and aimed their guns at us.

"They didn't shoot at first though. They demanded to know if Mom could tell them about 'the money'. Obviously now I understand that they were talking about money that Dad had owed them…probably he'd borrowed trying to keep us all afloat, but got into some other kind of trouble trying to keep us alive and safe.

"Anyway…Mom had put me down and shoved me behind her as they tried to question her, and she started crying and demanding to know where my father was, if they'd killed him…and when she wouldn't give them answers they wanted, the one with the Deliora tattoo was like 'Screw it', lifted his gun, and fired. He got Mom in the chest and she fell back against the stove, dead before she even slumped to the floor.

"I screamed and ran to her…she was covered in so much blood…I shook her as hard as I could…there were still tears in her blank, open eyes…but she was gone. I shouted a stream of obscenities my parents would've soundly punished me for at those bastards, but the one with the Deliora tattoo just grinned and aimed his gun again…at me.

"Then three shots fired through the open kitchen door and those guys all fell…and there was my dad, holding his bleeding stomach…so…Mom was dead…and Dad was dying…but…he still picked me up, sobbing mess that I was, and got me out through the back door, like he'd wanted Mom to do with me. He put me in the cab of his truck…I begged him not to leave me, but he told me to be strong…he said, 'I know you'll be a strong man, Gray….'

"But then one of the guys tryin' to kill us staggered out and shot my father in the back and he fell…and he was just…dead. I screamed again. I kept thinking…this couldn't be happening…my mother and father couldn't be dead….

"Then I heard the click of the other guy's gun. I was next. Without even thinking about it, I picked up Dad's gun and managed to get a few shots off…one of 'em hit he guy in the chest and down he went…I was still crying though. I didn't think I could ever stop…I promised Mom and Dad both that I'd find a way to avenge them…and I actually managed to drive my dad's truck away from the house, Dad's gun in the shotgun seat, and…this—" Gray grasped the cross around his neck and shook it a second before he let it go again "—around my neck…covered in blood.

"I crashed the truck though. Right into a ditch on Route 7. That's when Ur found me. Ur Milkovich and…Lyon."

He heard Juvia's intake of breath.

Gray finally looked at her, at her shocked expression, and he actually managed a smile, if a humorless one.

"Yeah. That Lyon. My foster brother, more or less. And Ur Milkovich…the woman who raised him and me both…like we were her own…."

And then he told Juvia about how Ur had taken him and Lyon under her wing as bounty-hunters-in-training, and how she'd been hunting the Deliora family herself for years…and how once Gray had identified them specifically as the people who had been responsible for the murder of his family, he'd been obsessed with taking them down…and how that obsession had led to Ur's death…and then the years of blame for her death that he'd carried with him…how Lyon blamed him nearly just as fiercely…how they'd parted ways after Gray dragged himself home and told Lyon what had happened…the two of them punching each other until Gray managed to get away and drive off in his father's truck—which Ur had actually decided to keep for when Gray got older, since Ur's house was near a junk shop.

"I think Lyon always resented that I had a car at the age of nine." Gray actually got out a genuine laugh on that one. "But Ur could tell it was more than a vehicle for me. It was part of my father's legacy…along with the gun and the cross…. They were all I had left.

"So…yeah…people I get close to…too close to, I mean…they don't tend to live all that long…."

He took one last drag on his cigarette, looking Juvia right in the eye this time. And then he blew the smoke out and ground the burning tip out on the wood of the porch.

"I see," said Juvia, and Gray had a feeling she genuinely understood.

Which did something to lessen the pain gripping his heart.

He cleared his throat.

"See…me and Natsu…we do our bit to keep the streets around here safe…do the things Erza can't with her hands tied by the system…but it's because she works for the system that the bad guys we get are brought to justice. Still…there are times when some gotta die…and there's always a chance that it could me…or Natsu…or Erza…or anyone at Fairy Tail…because we all hang out there…because we're all a family there. You're more than aware of that by now."

"Yes. I am."

Gray raised his eyebrows at her. God, she sounded so fucking sad.

"Juvia…?"

And Juvia turned back to him, a desperation in her eyes, though he could see she was doing her best to hold it back.

"Gray I…I understand…that you're scared…why you're scared…and I…." Then Juvia withdrew again, and again looked away. "See...I was…orphaned…when I was five. I don't remember how my parents died…I just know that they did. I was on the streets…I had no other family that could take me in…. So…this…man…came out of nowhere and…he…took me in. He's…not very nice but…he kept me from starving to death…and…it's because of him…that I'm here today…."

Gray considered her hunched shoulders, and found he could no longer keep his theories to himself. "And this guy…is he someone you're tryin' to get away from? Is he this guy who gave you the Lamborghini?"

Juvia nodded wordlessly. But it seemed to cost her some effort. Gray even thought he detected a tremor to her, in her shoulders, in the ripples in her undrunk coffee.

"And…you say he's not very nice so…does he…hurt you…?" he dared to ask further.

"Sometimes." Juvia curled further into herself, like a hedgehog hiding within itself.

Without giving it much rational thought, he followed his impulse and reached out, and laid his free hand over hers. He couldn't help it. Not in the face of her vulnerability.

She glanced up at him with a sharp gasp, nearly dropping the mug in her hands. Her eyes filled as she looked at him again, and he imagined it was because his own eyes were saying what words could not.

If he tries to hurt you again, I'll hurt him first.

She tried to pull away, though it seemed she didn't want to at the same time.

"You're gonna tell me you have to go, aren't you?" he guessed aloud.

Juvia shook her head, more fiercely this time, but her actions gave a different answer. She whimpered like she was on the edge of tears, like a kicked dog.

Which only made Gray hold on tighter. He set aside his coffee cup, and held fast to her hand now with both of his. It had been so long since he'd grabbed a hold of something that he didn't want to let go of.

"Please…please don't leave. I don't…want you to go. Please stay."

What was wrong with him? This was going against everything he'd built for himself, and yet, he couldn't ignore the cries of the ache in his chest. Of course, sacrificing his own happiness was nothing new, but he felt such a strong pull to her that he knew that he could never look at another woman again. Which logically was the best thing for him, but there was something else stirring inside him, spurring him on, arguing that he could fight fate, fight against the ill luck that tended to follow his loved ones.

And the fact that Juvia seemed to be fighting against her own feelings too, even more than against him, gave him the idea that perhaps…when she'd said "I love you", well…maybe she'd been drunk, but that had just meant that was being more honest and open at the time.

"I…I can't," she told him softly, brokenly.

Gray sighed, relaxed his hold on her, but he didn't let go. She seemed for a moment to pull away, but then stopped and let him hold on.

"I understand," he admitted to her. "I…."

Juvia considered him once more, now looking at him as if for the first time. And now her eyes were so much tear-filled as full of a need…her need to hear him out.

Gray swallowed, and then looked down at his hands still clutching hers. "I've…been fighting this…I mean…how I feel…I mean, what I want…because…I just…."

"Oh…Gray…" Juvia croaked.

And when Gray next met her eyes, Juvia was crying. He tried to say something, but could think of nothing. As usual. He was saved the trouble of struggling with this though, as she leaned in and took his lips in hers, her own mug of coffee abandoned.

She lit a fire in Gray's chest, one that coursed through his blood, and any shred of rational thought he'd still managed to retain was scattered and lost to the wind, as he closed his eyes, letting himself sink, relishing in the rush of joy that came from her being close like this. Excitement stirred in his heart and his gut, his breath and pulse quickening as he accepted her invitation by sliding his arms around her waist and pulling her against him.

God he needed her. Needed her.

He only half-pulled away, murmuring against her lips, "Inside."

"Yes," Juvia gasped in agreement, and she pulled away the other half.

Their hands were still linked as they smiled at each other. And then Gray lifted Juvia to her feet, and drew her back into his half of the duplex, their coffees abandoned on the stoop.

Barely a moment after Gray shut the door behind them, he welcomed her into his arms and she wrapped hers around his neck, her hands sliding up his shoulders. Their lips met for a second time that morning, the both of them moving as if of one mind, if also as shakily as a newborn lamb, stepping together further into the sitting room, until Juvia signaled she'd found the sofa when she felt the arm of it bump against the back of her legs.

Gray laughed as did she, and they pulled away again and simply drank in the sight of each other. Juvia's heart leapt as he reached up and brushed his fingers against her cheeks, running them through her blue hair. She felt herself glow from within, the light and heat coming off of her skin, same as with him. She could feel it, how warm he had become. His eyes glittered with desire, and Juvia reveled in feeling for the first time what it was like to touch someone and be touched by someone for whom she had feelings, even they were feelings that weren't entirely formed yet.

Then he leaned in again, and this time he was slower about it, but even more sensual at the same time when he took her mouth in his and crushed her against his chest, his hands at the small of her back. Juvia rose on her tiptoes, the feel of him literally raising her from within. Feeling her do this, Gray chuckled as though amused, right before he let his hands travel down to her behind whereupon he lifted her up off the floor. She gave a squeal of delight as he held her almost like she was a child, right before she did the very adult and sexual thing of wrapping her legs around his waist, which gave her a good feel for his erection pressing against her. To which her insides responded with a swell of pleasurable, aching heat between her own legs.

She moved from kissing his lips to trailing kisses down his neck as he lifted her even higher, until she was a little above him, and had to hunch over a bit to bury her face into the hollow of his neck, where he smelled not only of cigarettes but of motor oil, and, very pleasantly, of woodsmoke and the merest whisper of sweat that had yet to break the skin. Her heart pounded in her chest, feeling his lips traveling down her neck, and then he pinched the front of her t-shirt between his teeth and tugged at it playfully.

"This needs to come off," he growled, panting.

"Are you going to tear it off with your jaws?" Juvia teased.

"I just might," Gray teased back, and Juvia shivered at the half-serious lust in his voice.

"Jeez, no need for that…just…gimme a minute…."

Juvia broke off her kisses to his hot skin and pulled back long enough to reach down and pull up the hem of her shirt, rolling it up and off of herself and then tossing it away without giving a thought to where it landed.

Gray took a look at her and for a moment seemed stunned at the look of her topless with nothing but a bra. Then he got a feral grin on his face and spun her around, dropping her on the couch. She laughed, barely given time to breathe as he bent over her, caging her between his arms, the cross around his neck dangling from its chain, his chest heaving.

He tried to lean in for another kiss, but she reached up and laid her fingers over his lips, staying him with her hand. He frowned in disappointment until she let her hand trail down to his shirt, whereupon she started to undo the buttons.

When doing this ultimately revealed his bare chest and toned stomach, the free tails of his shirt fallen on either side of her, closing her in like curtains, she caught sight of the bandage for the knife wound from the night before. She carefully reached up and brushed her fingers against it, aware of him watching her do this. Without breaking his gaze from hers, he went and laid his hand over the one she had on his wound, and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"It's all right," he whispered. "I told you, it doesn't hurt."

Juvia felt her eyes prickle hotly. She licked her lips and then swallowed, seeing the way his eyes flickered down to her breasts snug in her bra, the soft and desperate lust in those eyes. The kind that wanted to both give as well as receive pleasure.

Something he initiated by leaning down and recapturing her lips in his.

Oh God, kissing him was so wonderful. He was so damn good at it. Of course, that had to come from years of "practice", but on the other hand, she had a feeling that she was the first woman he ever made feel like this. The way he kissed her, it was a slow burn, but at the same time no less desperate and hungry.

No, more than that. It was a need, and not just any need, but one that came from a life constantly lived on the edge of death. The need to reaffirm one's being alive by engaging in the act of making love. To forget the pain and the fear and the sorrow and the blood by wrapping oneself up in another's warm body.

Juvia more than understood that. This time, she knew, she would actually be able to feel that kind of relief sincerely, and not just a shadow of it through those times she'd had to fuck as part of her job.

She arched her back inward, feeling him lift her from within again just with the way he touched her, and while he let go of her hand on his stomach to let it wander up the column of her rib cage, and she shivered at the sensation of his fingers on her flesh, she let her own hands reach up and splay across his chest, where she felt his pounding heart against her palms for a moment before sliding them up over his shoulders, hooking underneath his shirt. Slowly, she prized the fabric off of him as she let her hands wander further down his back.

She pulled him closer as she enfolded him in her arms like this, her breath and shivers quickening as his hand stroking her ribs travelled down to her belly, and then to the hem of her yoga pants—which he proceeded to tug down, simultaneously nudging at her inner thigh with his knee to get her to spread her legs apart.

And spread them apart she did, wrapping them around his hips as before and pulling him into her. Then they broke for air and pulled back to regard each other again, both of them panting, eyes bright and eager and feverish.

"Fuck," Gray breathed, and didn't tear his eyes away even as he helped her finish the job of shrugging off his shirt. He flung that aside with quite as much abandon as she'd done with her own. Bare-chested, the pale morning light shining off the pale white scars that hatched his skin, she traced each and every one she could see with her delicate fingers, taking pleasure in the way he shivered, the way his muscles tightened, the way his breath shortened with how she touched him down to the flat of his belly.

At which point the heat gathering between her legs intensified, and Juvia dizzily found herself already teetering on the edge.

"Please, Gray," she whined, breathless. "Please."

"Oh Juvia…." His eyes became wild then, and he came down on her, this time starting with her breasts, trailing kisses softly along the curve of them, languorously, lightly nipping here and there as he made her way up to her neck and then back up to her lips. After all, he too was close to the edge: she confirmed this as she fervently traced her fingers down the button and zipper on his jeans,and felt nearby the hard bulge of his erection that was still there, just underneath the denim.

In her eagerness, her fingers trembled as she pulled that zipper down and undid the button.

Gray groaned into her mouth, a groan that was almost a whimper. "Faster," he begged her against her lips. "Juvia…I need you…." His breath hitched, his voice strained by his barely contained, growing desire.

"Yes…yes…faster…you too…" Juvia panted, helping him finally pull down her yoga pants the same way he'd helped her with taking off his shirt. "Oh God…."

Once she managed to get him unzipped, he pressed further into her so she could in turn pull his jeans and boxers down past his hips, and she let out a gasp like the cry of a shot rabbit when she felt the naked length of him against her inner thigh.

Then Juvia threw her head back against the arm of the couch, reaching back up to twine her arms around Gray's neck and bring him down fully atop her, her breasts against his chest. He buried his face in the hollow of her neck, started to trail kisses along her bare shoulder all the way up to her ear, the lobe of which he took gently in his teeth and affectionately tugged.

It distracted her just long enough so that she gave a squeal of surprise when she suddenly felt him sliding into her, locking into place. Then she cried out as he started in, slow at first, one gentle thrust after another, reaching for that sweet spot that was so, so close.

She was a wave on the sea, moving with him, the rhythm of their lazy yet lustful undulations matching as they came together. She clutched him harder, tighter, as he pushed her closer and closer to the edge, each cry she gasped out louder than the one before it. Tears sprung to her eyes, and she dug her nails in the flesh of his back as she held onto him.

For she would fall and die if she let go.

But then…she died anyway.

Her mind went blank with pure joy as she burst from within, seawater crashing on the rocky shore, droplets glittering in the sun, aware of only that and the scream she gave, caught up in the agony that only absolute pleasure could bring.

And not long after, he gave another desperate thrust and then arched his back, his forehead touched to her collarbone, as he gave a hoarse, broken cry that was almost indistinguishable from a howl of pain. They shuddered within each other, clutching each other, moaning as they both came down from that very high place they had just reached.

The cold metal of Gray's cross that hung around his neck and the chain that went with it pressed against Juvia's skin, but she hadn't even noticed it there as he'd taken her.

Slowly, catching his breath, Gray propped himself up onto this elbows and looked her over, like he was checking to see if he'd hurt her. But she was beaming at him, and the smile her returned to her was charmingly sheepish given the performance he had just given.

"Aw fuck…that was…a little more rushed than I wanted," he panted, even reddening and let his gaze drop to her breasts.

She let him idly trace the curve of one breast again before she said, "We can always do it again. I'm game. That was wonderful. For a first time with someone new."

Gray's head snapped back to her face, his eyebrows jumping into his hair, and then he snorted a laugh, shook his head and sat up, rocking back on his heels. But even after he slid out of her, he stayed straddling her thighs, running both hands along the cool flesh of her legs like he were luxuriating in the smooth feel of ivory.

"I guess we could go again, if you wanted." He gave her a rather mischievous grin. "That was a pretty damn good fuck."

But then he frowned.

Which made Juvia frown too. "What's wrong?"

"Ach…I was pretty careless though. I mean…I didn't even try to find a condom first."

"Oh, well…I'm not worried about that." As she said this, she turned her face aside, staring at the TV set without really seeing it, feeling her eyes glaze over. Then she felt Gray trace the dimpled scars along the swell of her lower stomach with one gentle thumb, and she looked back up at him.

"I didn't think you'd have scars too," he murmured.

Juvia sighed. "Yeah well…they're from a surgery, not some badass knife fight."

The corner of Gray's mouth tugged upward as he gave her a sympathetic little chuckle, patiently waiting for her to elaborate further.

"Anyway," she went on, throwing her hands up above her head and stretching her arms a bit until she felt the joints pop, "it was a long time ago. See I…had my tubes tied. So…if you're worried about something like…getting me pregnant, you don't have to fret about that."

She tried to keep the melancholy out of her voice, but Gray seemed to catch it, judging by the mist settling in his eyes.

He seemed disturbed by it actually, as if he somehow sensed that the decision to get a tubal ligation wasn't one she was happy with.

Which it wasn't. It was something Jose had forced upon her.

An insurance policy of a sort.

Then Gray said, "Well…still bothers me cuz I mean…what if I had an STD?"

Juvia raised her eyebrows at him. "Do you have an STD?"

"No."

"Good. And neither do I."

Miraculously enough.

When Gray still looked troubled, Juvia gave him a more pinched expression, slightly nettled, admittedly.

"What? You don't believe me?"

"No, I do," he told her sincerely.

"'Cause I believe you."

"I know."

Of course, she had every reason not to, just as he had ever reason not to believe her. They were both pretty much aware of the other having had sex with multiple partners before the two of them had ever met. And yet, one advantage of Jose's handling of her sexuality (namely claiming her body as "his" as a reason for everything he did) was that he made damn sure she stayed clean and untouched by venereal diseases.

And well, given the level of Gray's concern here for having forgotten a condom in his haste to have her, it was pretty clear that he'd managed to be successfully responsible for his own sexual health.

His face relaxed a little then, and Juvia abandoned her bout of annoyance in lieu of offering an apology.

"I just…." Gray glanced away a moment as he tried to find the words, and then met her eyes again. "I don't wanna ruin your life, y'know?"

Juvia couldn't argue with that. She returned his tentative smile. "Yeah, I understand that. I don't wanna ruin yours either."

Gray heaved a sigh—God his chest was beautiful…Juvia felt she could get off just watching him breathe with a chest like that. And then he bent to her righthand knee and kissed it, and then inhaled her scent.

"I wanna be with you. I mean…be with you. Like…."

He sighed again.

Clearly it was hard for him to come right out and ask if he could be hers in more than just someone to have sex with, and conversely if she could be the same for him.

Juvia didn't exactly blame him. She wasn't sure there was a word for what they were—what they had just become—yet. It was too soon for "lovers", and "boyfriend/girlfriend" felt too…conventional.

And anyway…her own personal guilt over why she was here in the first place and everything was starting to set in again.

In her weakness however, before she could stop herself, instead of trying to run away to at least confront it by herself (if she wasn't going to be braver than that and confront it with him), she sat up and collided with his warm chest so fast and hard it knocked the wind out of him, throwing her arms around him and holding him tight.

"Again…please," she begged him. "I need to forget…things. I need to pretend that this is all my life is for just a little while longer…."

For a moment he was taut in her arms, but he soon relaxed and slid his arms around her, returning her embrace, cradling her close. He was so utterly tender about it that Juvia's breath caught painfully in her throat and once again she came close to tears as she clung to him.

"Sure thing, baby," he whispered, pressing a kiss into the blue hair at her temple. "Cuz I need to forget and pretend all that too."