Hey guys! I'm sorry it took forever to update! It too me so long to write this chapter! so sorry. I don't own anything!

Austin's POV
Three weeks later

"Ar, what letter is this?" I ask her, holding up a little card with the letter m on it. I'm in the hospital and Ally just went to shower, she'll be back soon. I'm doing one of the things they told me to help Ari with her dyslexia. "M..." She says and then tilts her head. "No no! It's w." She changes her mind, then sighs. "I don't know..." She tells me and I sigh too. I feel bad because I know exactly how it feels. Her speech has improved a little though. She pronounces all the letters correctly and she can sing the alphabet song but she has a hard time figuring the letters out on paper.

"It was m.." I say and she groans quietly. "I'll be right back daddy..." She says, tears filling her eyes and then jogging into the bathroom that's in my room. I see Ally walk in but I shush her quickly so I can hear Ariana. I hear her small cries of frustration. "What happened?" Ally whispers and I lift up the card. She quickly understands, nodding an we both listen to her again. "I'm so stupid..." She tells herself and I lean back, squeezing my eyes shut. I felt the same exact way she does not. I still feel that way especially when I'm with Ally.

Ally gets up and knocks on the door. "Ar, sweety... We have to talk to you..." She says and I hear her sniffle and then open the door with red puffy eyes. "Yes?" She asks, trying to cover up that she was crying. "Ari, I have the same thing as you..." I say and her head tilts to the side. "We both have something called dyslexia..." I say and she looks at me. "Dys...lex...ia?" She asks and I nod. "That means that reading is much harder for us. It's not because you're not smart baby... You are, your brain just mixes up things. It's not your fault." I tell her and she takes a deep breath, thinking for a minute. "So, I am smart?" She asks and I nod. "Very smart..." I say and she smiles, then sighs. "Let's try again daddy..." She says sitting on the bed and I nod, lifting up another card...

Line break

It's been a week since we told Ari about her dyslexia and she seems to be taking things slower now and trying to go as fast as the others. I get out today! I have a cast on one leg and my other leg is wrapped from the shot. I have bandages on my neck, face, chest and pretty much everywhere. Even around my head. I have a sling on my right arm because I overextended my elbow. I refuse to sit in a wheelchair so I'll be on one crutch, hopping with the leg the cast is on. "Daddy?" She asks and I look down at her standing form. "Will you carry me?" She asks and I smile, then raise my eyebrows at her. "Please?" She adds on and I nod. I lean my crutch against the wall and lift her up with my good arm and then place her on my shoulders. I then grab my crutch and walk out the door, ready to go home.

Line break

"Where's mommy?" She asks when I walk into the apartment and I shrug. "Alls?" I call out and I hear noises from the bathroom. I hear her sniffling and then a minute later, she comes out with her long sleeve shirt on, smiling widely at me. "Oh my gosh..." She says and I laugh, pulling her in for a hug. I pull back, looking into her eyes, noticing that they're bloodshot. "Were you crying?" I ask and she shakes her head quickly, refusing to look into my eyes. "We'll talk later..." I say and she sighs, sitting down on the couch. "You know I love you, right?" She asks and I laugh. "Hmm... I've never heard you say that before..." I say sarcastically and she laughs a little with me.

"Can we play a game?" Ari asks and I look over at Ally, shrugging and nodding. "Let's play jeopardy..." Ally says, grabbing the flashcards we made for Ari. They have simple words, like cat or dog, numbers one through twenty and all the letters. Ally begins to explain the game to Ari and she seems very excited. She's pointing at the cards one by one and eventually, Ari stops for a minute, looking at Ally with a confused look. "What's wrong?" Ally asks her and she tilts her head. "What's on your arm mommy?" She asks and Ally grabs her sleeves, pulling them over her wrists quickly. She looks up at me guiltily but I don't get it. What was on her wrist?

"Austin..." She says and I look up into her eyes. "What's on your wrists?" I ask her and she sighs. She lifts up her sleeves and shows me the cuts and scars. I feel my eyes widen and I jump out of my chair. "Ally!" I scream and she gets up too. "You can't... Y-you..." I stutter and start breathing faster. "No... You l-lied to me. You told me you stopped!" I scream and she tries to calm me down. "Stop. Stop! Stop Ally!" I yell at her and grab my head with my hands. I yank my hair and sat down, trying to control my breathing. "Austin. Calm down. Breath..." She says and I realize that I'm hyperventilating. I put my head in between my knees and start to cry. Ally sits beside me and lifts my head up. "Austin, breath..." She says and I take a deep breath, her kissing my lips.

"Why...?" I ask and she sighs, turning from my stare. "I..." She trails off, biting her lip. "Daddy? What's going on?" Ari cuts in and I snap my head toward her. "Are you guys okay?" She asks and I nod. "Everything's fine baby." I tell her and she nods, going into her room. "Ally... You s-said you'd stop. Y-you told me you've d-done it one time..." I sob out and I see tears fall from her eyes. "I know Austin, I know but..." She trails off and I sigh, standing up, grabbing my crutch and walking into the bathroom.

I pull the cabinets open in anger and search for a blade of some sort. Eventually I find it and rip the razor from the cabinet. I stare at it for a long minute before I drag it hard against my skin. I hear Ally banging on the door but I ignore her. I do it again and again until I can breath correctly. I sit on the ground, thinking. About everything. How I was attacked, Ari's dyslexia, Ally cutting herself, me cutting myself again...

I hear the door open, followed by a gasp but it's not who I thought it was going to be. "Daddy?" She asks, her head tilted in confusion. "What are you doing?" She asks and I sigh, standing up to grab my crutch. "What's on your arm daddy?" She keeps bombarding me with questions. "You're bleeding daddy..." She tells me and I nod, looking down at her. She continues to stare at my cuts. I go out into the living room where Ally is sitting on the couch. "Austin..." She gets up and walks toward me. I shake my head. "Talk to me..." She pleads and I stare her. "Please Austin..." She says and I turn away from her. "Then I'll talk..." She says and I nod.

"When's the last time you were happy? Was that all some kind of joke when you were happy? Just trying to make it easier for the both of us?" She asks and she started getting louder. "When's the last time we wrote a song together? When's the last time you sang? It's been a while Austin." She says and I look down at her, tears spilling from her eyes.

"Look. If it weren't for me, you wouldn't be cutting. You wouldn't be hurt. And... You're not talking... Maybe it'd be best if we really did take a break..." She says and my eyes widen. "Ally..." I say and she shakes her head. "We could be friends and partners... I just... We're both hurting when we shouldn't be." She says and I swallow the lump in my throat. "Maybe if we forgot about each other completely..." She says and I squeeze my eyes shut then open them. "If that's r-really what you want... Then I'll go..." I say and she nods. I head into our room and grab a bunch of my stuff. I stuff it all in a bag, not really caring what I threw in. The last thing I take is a picture of me, Ally and Ari together. We're sitting in the living room, laughing and smiling together. It's been a while... I stuff that in my bag and take a deep breath, walking out of the room. I walk into Ari's room and she's sleeping. I have no idea when I'm gonna see her next so I wake her up.

"Ari..." I whisper and she groans, turning around to face me. "I've gotta go sweety..." I say and her eyes pop open. "You're leaving?" She questions and I nod. "I'm sorry baby but I have to leave..." She sits up straight and starts yelling. "Daddy, no! You promised daddy! You promised you'd stay with me!" I sigh, tears coming down my face and hers. "Ari, I don't have a choice... I promise I'll try to see you again." I say and she nods, kissing my cheek. I can feel her tears. "I love you..." She sobs out and I pull her in for a hug. "To the moon and back..." I say and she cries a little harder. "Don't forget about me..." She whines and I squeeze her a little tighter. "Never." I whisper and she nods, pulling from the hug. "Bye Ar..." I say, walking out the door with my crutch.

"Here..." She says and hands me her phone. "Delete anything that has to do with yourself..." She says and I look at her, puzzled. "Really?" I whisper and she lets out a cry but nods anyway. I hand her my phone. "Don't delete pictures please. It's the last memories I'm gonna have of Ari." I say and she nods.

I go through her phone, deleting everything about me. My contact, blocking my twitter, Instagram, Facebook. Anything. She told me to delete the pictures too but I send them to my phone before deleting them. "If you're going to throw out pictures, I'll take them..." I say and she nods. "I'll let you know by tomorrow." She says and I nod. I delete all of my songs from her phone and then hand it back to her. "I'll talk to Jimmy on my way..." She nods, takin her ring off and placing it in my hand.

"I'm sorry Austin..." She says and I shake my head, letting her know that it's fine. I take a deep breath, closing the door to the apartment behind me.

D*** it! I knew that it would end this way when she mentioned it in the hospital. I knock on Dez and Trish's door before I leave completely. Trish answers, smiling at me and then instantly frowning as she sees the blood up and down my arm and the dry tears on my face. "Austin, what happened?" She asks, trying not push for information. "Ally and I..." I trail off and she nods, looking at me with sad eyes. "I just... Wanted to say goodbye because she told me it'd be best if we just... Forgot about each other completely..." I say and a tear falls from her eye. "So I won't see you for awhile then..." She says and I sigh, trying to give her a hug without hurting myself but at this point I don't really care.

"Can I speak to Dez?" She nods, letting out a sob. He walks up to me and looks at me with confusion. "She wants to forget me completely..." I whisper and a tear falls from my eye again as I wipe it away angrily. "So I'm leaving." I tell him sternly and he lets out a frustrated sigh, putting a hand through his hair. He screams at me. "You can leave! I need to know if you're okay! I need you Austin! You-you-" I cut him off. "I'm staying in Miami. I'll call you everyday but I can't stay here..." He nods and we do our handshake. "Ally's cutting herself." I blurt out and his eyes widen. "Get her to stop. Please." He nods, wiping a tear of his own. "I don't know when I'll see you next but... See you around." I say and I nod. "Bye.." I walk away, closing my eyes, trying not to cry. Again.

I groan in frustration and call a hotel. They have a few open rooms that I can have for a while. I get in my car, pulling out and going to Jimmy's house. I knock on the door and he smiles when he sees me. "Hello, Austin. How are you?" He asks, obviously not noticing my tears and cuts in the dark. "Horrible. I have to talk to you about Ally." I say and he looks at me, puzzled but nods for me to continue. "Well... She told me it'd be best if... If we completely erased each other from out memories..." I say, crying harder and he shakes his head. "But the contract is for the both of you. You have to perform together." He says and I shake my head. "It's against the contract. Unless one of you quits, I'm sorry. Neither of you can perform alone." He says and I take a deep breath. As long as I've lost almost everything, let's loose the last thing I need. "Then I quit." I say and he sighs in frustration. "Would you let Ally know when to come by the studio?" I ask and he nods. "Feel better Austin." He says and I sigh. "Thank you. Goodbye Jimmy." I say, walking off of his porch.

I speed off to the hotel and have to stop by the gas station. I go inside and get greeted by a girl, around her twenties. "Can I have forty regular?" She nods, taking the money. I look around her, biting my lip. "Can I have a pack of cigarettes?" I ask and she turns around, grabbing a pack and placing them on the counter. "ID please." She says and I hand her my license. "Oh my gosh! You're Austin Moon!" She screeches, finally looking up at me. "Yes. Can I buy a lighter too?" I ask and she pulls one from behind the cash register. I hand her the money and she smiles at me. "Thank you." I tell her shocked form before walking outside to put the gas in my car. I sigh, getting in and drive off.

Once I get there, I sit in the parking lot to grab a cigarette and the lighter. I light the cigarette and put it my mouth, inhaling deeply. I cough violently for a minute before looking at the cigarette. I shrug my shoulders, putting it in my mouth again. This one wasn't as bad. It was actually kinda nice. I do it again, not coughing at all this time. I sigh, feeling a little relieved. When I'm done, I go inside of the hotel and pay for my room, which I got with a balcony so I can smoke.

When I get upstairs, I grab a knife, the cigarettes and the lighter before walking outside. I light a cigarette, putting it into my mouth and then grabbing the knife and cutting my arm violently a few times. I stare at the lighter and then shrug. I grab it and click it on, putting it up to my neck. I leave it there for a minute, flinching after a minute but leave it there anyway. I close my eyes, biting my lip in pain. This hurts way more than cutting. I pull the lighter away and grab my phone, looking at the burn. It's a dark red hole, right on my neck. I put the cigarette out and walk inside, sitting on the couch.

I start thinking for a minute, not knowing what to do anymore. The pain, thinking about... Ally... Is too much to... Stop Austin. Stop. I groan. I look through my contacts on my phone, stopping at one name in particular. He was my 'friend' in high school. He sold drugs to anyone who could pay. I tried it once. It was horrible. Maybe... Maybe he still sells them. I ponder it for a minute before clicking his contact. "Hello?" A man asks into the phone and I take a deep breath. "Do you still sell those drugs?" I ask and I hear him laugh. "Of course." He says and I bite my lip. "Can I... Buy some?" I ask and he rummages through some things. "What do you want?" He asks and I think about Ally. What she would think of me. Stop Austin. She's not with me. I don't care. "Anything to take the pain away but won't like, kill me." I say and he laughs. "Okay, I've got a few things. Stop by this address tomorrow with a hundred bucks and I'll give it to you." He says and I write down the address. "Great."

Line Break

"Austin Moon, I'm surprised." The man tells me as he stares at me. "Don't be." I say and he shrugs. "Well, here. This won't kill you, it makes the pain go away. You just smoke it like a regular cigarette. This is just a sample so you'll need more in about a week if you're still doing it by then." He tells me and I nod. "Okay, great to see you again Matt." I say, handing him the money. "No problem. I'll see you next week..." He trails off and I nod, getting in my car.

As soon as I get in my room, I grab one of the cigarette like things and light it, putting it in my mouth. I breath it in, coughing a little and then stumbling back. "Woah..." I say looking around the room and then I smirk to myself. Finally. Something that makes me oblivious to the world! I breathe in again and again until it's almost completely gone. I grab the lighter once it's gone and put in to me neck. I groan in pain pulling it away. That stupid thing Matt gave me wasn't enough. Maybe it made me a little oblivious of things but not enough.

I grab a regular cigarette and the lighter and put it in my pocket. I jog down the stairs, almost tripping at the bottom. "S***..." I say. Maybe I'm not 'well' enough to drive yet. What the h*** was* that c*** that Matt gave me? I shrug and walk out the door, walking to the liquor store. "Austin Moon?" The man instantly asks and I shrug, nodding. "Can I get... Um..." I stutter, having trouble with coherency. "The strongest t-thing you h-have..." I say, tripping over my feet a little. "Vodka?" He asks and I shrug. I've never drank before. Ally always told me not to. Ally... "Yeah... Can I have t-two of those and like... A six p-pack? Oh and um, patron." I ask and he nods, grabbing two vodkas and a six pack of beers. I hand him my ID and then the money, walking out. Well, stumbling out.

I drop my crutch, not really caring whether it heals or not and run back to the hotel quickly because it's across the street. I open the bottle of vodka. I drink some of it, and shiver in disgust. I run to the bathroom and throw up. I groan. "F***! That was disgusting..." I shiver again and stay in the bathroom for a minute before walking back out. Not trying that again until I have no other choice. I grab one of the beers and open it. I guzzle that down in a matter of five minutes. I turn around to grab another but fall backwards. Ouch. That hurt. I stand back up, grabbing another can. I guzzle that one down in about ten minutes. Woah... I can't think straight and the walls are spinning around me. I grab a third can and fall to the ground before I can even open it. I'm not drunk, just a little tipsy... How do you open a can again? I fiddle with the top of the can for a minute before I finally open it. I start drinking it and lean my head back against the cabinets in the kitchen.

Ding. I look around, confused as to where it's coming from. Ding. It comes again. What is it? Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding. "What the f***?" I ask out loud, hearing the slur in my voice. I stumble to the couch and find that it's my phone. It's not Ally so I don't care. Ally... I miss her smile already... And her hair... And lips... D*** it Austin! Stop thinking about her! I scold myself and start chugging my third beer. "Ahh..." I sigh and I grab the cigarettes Matt gave me and go outside. I light the cigarette and put it in my mouth.

Austin, stop it. I hear a small voice say and I look around. That sounded a lot like Ally's voice. I love you Austin, please stop. I put the cigarette in my mouth and start to cry. "No you don't! I wouldn't be doing this if it weren't for you!" I scream to no one, getting out of my seat, stumbling a bit. The voice doesn't respond and I collapse back into my seat, breathing in the smoke again. When I finish, I put it out and finally black out.

Line break

I haven't even open my eyes yet but I can tell I'm hung over. I remember grabbing the first beer but that's about it. My head is pounding... That's all I can focus on right now. I slowly get up, careful not to fall and walk back inside from the balcony, where I fell asleep. "Where's my phone?" I groan out loud because it won't stop going off. I find it on the couch and I grab it. I look at all the comments. Some of them are about Ally and I's new relationship status. 'Is it splitsville for Austin Moon and Ally Dawson?' This makes me groan. Why is everything in my life about her. Because you love her! A voice screams, which makes me growl in anger.

I scroll through more of my feed. 'Austin Moon smoking?' Is the headline and there are pictures if me buying the cigarettes and smoking them in my car. I kick the wall in anger and then cripple to the ground in pain because that's the leg I got shot in. D***.

I keep scrolling. 'Austin Moon doing weed.' I bang my head against the wall as hard as I could without putting another hole in it. Can't I just be left alone? You know what? F*** it. I don't really care anymore. 'Austin Moon: Alcoholic?' I stand up and grab the knife. Dragging it across my neck this time. Not my arms. I let the blood drip down into my hand and sigh. It doesn't really do anything anymore. Well, it does but it doesn't fill all of the pain. I remember grabbing the lighter and putting it to my skin, burning yet another hole through my neck. I do this to my face quite a few times, my cheeks, forehead, ears and I do it on my eyelid. I look at my phone one more time. 'Whats wrong with Austin Moon? Is it Ally?' It asks and I squeeze my my phone. I go to my message and roll my eyes. I completely ignore him, Trish and my cousins. I didn't get any texts from Ally, of course. I'm dead to her. Just as I'm thinking about it, I get a call from her number. Should I answer it? I grab the patron bottle and chug a little down before I answer.

"Hello?" I ask into the phone and I hear Dez's voice come through the speakers. "Austin! Stop your s***!" He screams and I sigh, chugging a little more patron. "I thought i-it was Ally..." I say, slurring my words a little bit. "I gotta go..." I sip some more. "Bye Dez..." I say and hang up the phone before he can even speak. I grab the cigarettes-or weed-and smoke it for a little before getting another call. I answer it quickly and Ally's voice comes through.

"Ally?!" I yell and she sighs. "Austin, please don't do this." She says and
I sigh. I grab the patron again, chugging some down. "It's over and done." I say and I hear her cry. "Are you really smoking?" She asks in her small voice. I glance into the tiny kitchen and grab the vodka again. I sip a little and make a face. "Yeah..." I say and she sighs. "The alcohol?" She asks and I groan. "Ally, please stop..." I say but I'm slurring a little. Whatever. I drink the vodka again. "Are you seriously doing weed Austin?" She asks and I shrug. "Yep, I've got nothing more to loose Ally. I need something to keep me occupied." I slur to her, leaning on the counter and she lets out a sob. "Tell me what you've done... Please..." She begs and I nod. "I've cut myself, burnt myself, smoked tobacco and weed and drank beer, vodka and patron. That's it. It's not a big deal, really..." I say unconvincingly because of my slurring. "That's it?! Austin! Are you crazy?!" She screeches and I sip again. "I'm not crazy. I'm in love." I say and I hang up.

I groan and call Matt. "Hey Austin." He says and I sigh. "Do you have more it can buy? Not weed. Something else?" I ask and I hear papers shuffling. "Well, I've got a few things. I've got a bunch of tobacco, more weed, marijuana..." He lists off a bunch of things. "I'll take the three, how much is it?" I ask and he does the calculations. "142.52." He says and I nod. "I'll come now." I tell him and he says okay. I sip more of the vodka, it's not as bad anymore, and walk outside, tripping over nothing. I get into my car to drive to Matts. I may be a little drunk, but I'll be fine...

I make it there and back fine. I think I scraped the car against a pole or two but it's okay. It's only a BMW... I grab all the drugs and I pretty much do all the ones he gave me. I broke my phone ran over my phone so... That's gone. These d*** drugs aren't doing anything! It's so annoying! Did I bring my pills? They're antidepressants. I run to the bathroom and check if they're there. They are. I grab a piece of paper and begin to write.

Hey, it's Austin. If you guys are reading this, I'm hoping I'm dead.

Well, I'm just gonna come out and say it. Alls, I miss you. I love you. This is why I'm doing it. Drugs aren't helping. I've smoked tobacco, chewed tobacco and I have that powder stuff that you put in your lip or whatever. I've drank patron, regular beer and vodka. I also did weed and marijuana. I've cut myself and burnt myself with a lighter. I've got nothing to live for anymore. I quit singing. I haven't sang in years. I want all of my stuff to go to Ally and Ari. No one mourn on my death. I want this. I need this. I don't want anything else. Dez and Trish, I love you guys too, and Aust. You guys were the best friends anyone could ask for and I'm glad I'll die thinking of you guys. My mom and dad, I love you guys. I know you're not proud that your son is killing himself by overdose but I guess I won't care when I'm dead, will I? Rydel, Rocky, Riker and Ratliff, you guys are awesome. If Ally lets you... I'd like for Ratliff to be Ari's godfather. I don't have much else to say. Only that I love you all. And don't feel guilty because I want this. Don't be sad. I'm not. I'm only sad because I'm still here but I'll be happy again once I'm gone. I'll look over you guys with everything I have. I love you. This is my dying wish. For you guys to be happy without me. I love you all. I love you Ally. I have a separate note for Ari.

~Austin

Ari, I'm sorry. I know I said I'd never you leave you but I've gotta go. I love you to the moon and back. Forever and always. Don't you forget that. Keep this in reminder of me unless you want to forget me. Mommy will explain this to you when you get older. Why I'm leaving. I've always loved you and I always will but it's my time to go. I'll always be watching over you Ar and I'll always be with you. Goodbye Ari.

~Daddy

I put the notes in an envelope, putting Ally's address on it. I'm not drunk anymore, I'm sobered up now. I drive there, drop of the mail in front of the door and drive back. I grab my pills and look into the mirror. I take about ten of the pills and swallow them at once. I bend down and start throwing up blood immediately. "S***." I say, throwing up again. I lean my head against the shower and sigh in relief as I black out for the last time.

Ally's POV

I hear a knock on the door. I wipe my eyes free of tears and get the door. "You okay?" Trish asks me and I nod. "This was outside of your door." She says and I take it in confusion. I open it up and begin to read it. "It's from Austin..." I say, and I start to cry. Once I read the whole thing, I'm sobbing, holding my sides. "I have to go!" I scream at Trish and she grabs the note from my hand. "Please watch her." I say and I run to my car. I call the cops. "9-1-1 what's your emergency?" A lady asks into the phone and I speed off. "I just got a suicide letter from my fiancé. He's tried to kill himself before so I don't know what to do. He's at the hotel right in Miami." I say all in one breath. "Help is on the way." She says and I hang up, driving faster to the hotel. I sprint to the seat and explain quickly, grabbing the key from the man. I run inside and walk around. I see the drugs and alcohol. I walk into the bathroom and drop to my knees. "Austin!" I scream but he doesn't respond. "Please Austin!" I cry, holding him closer to me. I squeeze him as tight as possible, tears spewing from my eyes. The ambulance burst in with a gurney and take him away. Once again.

Sorry if I got things wrong... I don't even know if those are actual things... Don't do drugs! Do not drink and drive! Hope you enjoyed!