Hey guys! I'm so so so so sorry! Ugh this took me so long and I know it's kinda short but I tried. Idk the chapters okay I guess. Not my best. I hope you guys enjoy it a little or something. I'm trying to update as fast as I can! I don't own anything!
I wake up with a start, Dez screaming my name and tears rushing down my face. I lean back and start to cry. Again. "Is Ally okay?" He nods. "For now..." I lean my head back and sigh. "Oh my god Dez... I-I can't do this without Ally...I-I've never had to a-and I don't know. I can't do this Dez. How do you expect me to do this?! I'm blind in one eyes and can't sing! How am I supposed to do this?!" I yell and I start hyperventilating but everything stops. I can't feel or hear anything and all I can see it black even though my eyes are open. I don't know how long that was going on but it was long enough where there were doctors surrounding me and Ari was taken from me. "He had a seizure." Someone said and I grab my head, its pounding. "Ow..." I whisper to myself and the doctors tell me that they have to do some tests to see what happened. They make Ari and Dez leave the room room as they test.
"Mr. Moon-" I cut him off. "Austin." They nod. "Austin, it seems as if you hit a few nerves as the glass went through your temple. I know that doesn't seem horrible but the nerve you hit is what was keeping the brain cells transporting messages to the rest of your body. Now, it will only happen when you either get hit in the head or your body feels the need to shut down. This is usually when you're very stressed, upset or if you're shaking around a lot a seizure might occur. I talked to your friend Dez and he said you're prone to doing those things." I nod my head. I'm doing one of those things pretty much all the time. "And I'm aware of your suicidal condition." Of course he is, that's why I'm one here. I roll my eyes but let him continue. "When you start thinking things that stress you out or make you upset or make you shake, close your eyes. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths until you're calm again. I know that's really not ideal to do every time you're upset but eventually you won't have to do that and the seizures will become easier to control." I nod, sighing. I can't believe I did what I did. It's not going to go away. "You're free to leave but you will have to come back next week and if you have any issues or concerns, feel free to stop by." I nod and thank him, getting up and walking out the door.
"Woah." It's... A lot different, only being able to see out of one eye. "Daddy!" I hear Ari scream and I turn my head all the way around to be able to see her. "Ari..." I breathe out and I lift her up spinning her around. "Sh*t ow..." My hand flies to my head and I groan. "You okay Daddy?" I nod. "Yeah sweetie I just have to be careful..." She nods. "We took home your car because... well you can't drive right now. The doctors said you can drive again in a few weeks." I nod and smile a thanks to him and he seems to understand, smiling back at me. "Where's Aust?" Ari asks him and he looks at Ari. "He's down in the cafeteria with Auntie Trish. We'll head down now and get some lunch. You hungry?" She nods and pulls my shirt. "Will you put me down?" I nod and place her on the ground. She grips my hand tighter than she ever has before and turns her head away from me. "Ar?" I bend down and the three of us stop in the hallway. "Hmm?" She responds and I turn her head towards me. I wait. "Mommy..." She sobs out and tears flow freely down her cheeks. "I know Ar, I know." She pulls me in for a hug and I squeeze her tightly. "I bite the inside of my cheek so I don't start crying. "Ari, I love you." I whisper. "To the moon and back." She pulls away from me, looking at my face with a slight smile. "Forever and always." We both whisper at the same time and I kiss her forehead. "Lets go." We all nod to each other and head to the cafeteria.
-—-—•
It's been a month. It's been okayish. Besides the fact that the doctors keep calling my cell phone to tell me that they want to put her down and that she's not going to wake up. I tell them no, obviously. She's going to wake up and she's going to be okay. That's what I tell myself anyway. Can you imagine if I told them yes put her down? There's that slight chance that she could've woken up and I'd be responsible for killing her. So I don't allow it. "Ari?" I call out and she skips out, twirling in her dress. "Do you like it?" She asks and I laugh. "I love it." She giggles, thanking me. "Are you ready?" She nods and I grab her hand and walk to car. We drive to Ally's favorite restaurant in memory of her. It being exactly a month since the accident. I didn't tell Ari, she knew that it had been a month and suggested that we go in memory of her. I told her that we could if she would like so she got dressed all nice.
As we walk into the restaurant, the man smiles at us. "Where's Ally? Isn't this her* favorite place?" Ari frowns and I feel her pull her hand from mine to wipe her tears. I frown at him as I lift her up and kiss her cheek. "She got into a car accident and is in a coma. Can we... Get a table?" He frowns and puts his hand out to shake mine. "I'm sorry... Um... Yeah follow me." I nod and he walks us to the table we always sit at and we leave Ally's usual chair open. I should be handling this better. I'm making it too obvious for Ari that she's not here and that it's an empty spot in our lives without her. And I'm not preparing her for when she's actually gone. "Ar, why don't you sit there?" She shakes her head. "No that's Mommy's seat Daddy. You know that silly." She says with a slight smile and I frown. "Mommy's not here Ar, why don't you take a seat closer to me?" I ask her and she tilts her head. "What're you doing Daddy? I- I thought you said you'd never replace her. But you're already trying to change how we sit at the table!" She yells and I grab her hand. "I'm not replacing her Ariana but we can't pretend like she's here when she's not... Do you understand why I'm doing this?" She shakes her head no. "Why can't we pretend that she's here?" She whispers and I his her palm. "Because that's not how you are supposed to do things Ar. We can't pretend she's here when she isn't. Aunt Trish, uncle Dez and Aust are coming in a little bit and any of them are free to sit in Mommy's seat. We can't tell them that they're not allowed." She stands up and stops her foot, a tear falling from her eye. "And why not?!" I sigh. "Ari sit down." The people sitting next to us are looking at me with an angry look.
"Will you please control your child sir?" The man asks me and I see Dez walking through the door with Trish and Aust. "Ar, go tell auntie Trish to stay over there a minute, I need to talk to someone." She nods and stomps away angrily. "That is no way for a child to behave. What? Is she five? That's ridiculous. Take control, you're her father." I stand up and so does he. "Okay, one. You have no right to tell me that I need to control my child. Two. She's not even four yet and three. Her mother is in a coma and she's most likely going to die. That's what she was yelling about. Would you like to explain to her that her mother is going to die and will be gone forever? And that she can't keep pretending that she's physically with us when she's not? Would you like to explain that to a dyslexic three year?!" I yell at the man and he steps back. Everything stops again. I can't hear or see anything and I stay put in the middle of the isle. After about five minutes I lift my head. Ow... Stupid seizure. "Sorry... I- I had a seizure... Um. Did you say something?" He sighs. "I said I was sorry for being in your business and that I'm sorry for your loss." I stare at him. "She's not dead." I whisper and he puts his hand in my shoulder. "Don't pretend that everything's okay when it's not..." He whispers back to me and sits in his seat again. There's no other way to make it through.
I nod at Dez to tell him it's okay to get them. "You okay?" He asks and I nod my head. "Yeah I'm fine." I whisper and he sits down across from me. "I know you're not. We're going to talk later." I sigh but nod anyway. "No one sit in Mommy's seat please..." Ar says as she sits in her usual spot. "Ari, we just talked about this. Guys, feel free to sit wherever." She stares at me in aw. "You told me you wouldn't replace Mommy! You're a liar!" She yells and I sigh. "Ari, I'm not replacing her. But she's not here right now and she cant sit there so let someone else sit there." I say and Trish cuts in. "He would never replace your mom Ari. Don't worry, we won't sit there but even if we did, when she wakes up she'd get her spot back." Ari glares at Trish. "We all know that she's not waking up so stop acting like she is!" She yells and I clench my jaw, tears falling from my face. "Ariana, what do you want me to do? I can't make her wake up. I can't act like she's here because we all know she's not." I say and she has tears falling down her face. "You know what I want? I want you to kill yourself! Just like you said you would! Because I hate you! I never want to see you again! I wish you got into that accident instead of Mommy!" All of us freeze, including the people next to us. "You've tried to...?" I nod. "Five times actually." I tell him and I stand up from the table, leaving the table. "Take her home?" I ask Trish and she nods.
Trish's POV
"Dez go find him before he kills himself. Now." He nods, getting up and walking quickly out of the restaurant. "Ari. That was very inappropriate for you to say to your dad." I tell her and she glares at me. "I don't care. I wish he would." I sigh and grab her hands. "Can I tell you a secret?" I ask her and she shrugs. I shouldn't be telling her this. But I'm going to anyway. "He's tried to before." She tilts her head. "Your dad. He's tried to kill himself before." She stops breathing and doesn't say anything. She just stares at the table. "Five times. Maybe more. You..." I pause, trying to find the correct words. "You can't say things like that to your father. Especially because you think that he doesn't love your mom. He tried killing himself five times because he was afraid he was going to lose her. That he wouldn't be with you and your mom anymore. And I know you're mad at him right now. You'll stay with us for awhile I guess. But your father loves your mom to pieces. More than I've ever seen anyone love another person. Don't think he's trying to replace her either because he's doing the exact opposite. He's just trying to make it easier on you and himself because he wants to kill himself Ariana. But he's not because you need him. And now that you said that, don't be surprised if you don't have your father anymore when you get home and have to stay with us..." She shrugs. "I wasn't lying. I want him gone." She says, staring down at the table. I let out a sob. "Then he will be gone. He probably is gone." She doesn't even frown. She actually smiles. And I guess we'll be adopting Ari.
Austin's POV
I just talked to Dez and Trish. Trish told me what happened with Ari and... Yeah. I'm most likely going to just kill myself when Ally dies and they will adopt Ari. And until then, she's staying with them. While I pack all of her stuff up and ship it to their house on Long Island. They're moving in three months. I guess I'm most likely going to just... Tell them to put Ally down. They said there's pretty much no chance of her living. Am I supposed to sit here and wait for her to wake up when we all know she's not going to? I don't know. I really don't want to. Ari's packing the things she wants for Dez and Trish's and I call out to her. "Ar?" She pokes her head out the door. "My name isn't Ar, it's Ariana." I sigh, gripping the razor almost tight enough to reach my bone. Ari frowns at the blood dripping to the ground but looks up to my face. "What do you want Austin?" I raise my eyebrows. "Austin?" She nods and I sigh, clenching the razor even tighter. "If you need help... I'm here." She rolls her eyes at me. "I don't need anything from you except for you to get away from me." I drop the razor onto the kitchen floor and I start having a seizure. It's really scary actually. It feels like someone turned your body off. When I get back to reality, I leave the apartment and go to Dez and Trish's. She comes out with tears dried on her face. "Austin!" She pulls me into a tight hug and I sigh. "I thought you'd be gone... by now..." I squeeze her tighter. "That's why I came. I'm..." She shakes her head. "No no no please. Please Austin please. I can't let you do this!" She sobs into my shoulder and I look her in the eye. "When's the last time you looked into my eyes and saw happiness?" I ask her and she sighs like it did a few minutes ago. "I can't even remember..." She sobs again and I give her a small smile. "I'll be happier if I leave. Please realize that I'm not happy but once I'm gone... I'll-" I sob suddenly and pull away from Trish. "I'll probably be with Ally again..." She shakes her head. "You can be happy here! I can't lose you and Ally." I shake my head. "I deserve this okay? I'll be okay and
I'll always be with you no matter what. Alright? I'm not leaving completely." She calls out for Dez and see him with tears in his eyes as well. "D-don't try to stop me or save me this time... It's... Better." He pulls me in for a hug, shaking with sadness. "It'll be okay." I whisper but he doesn't acknowledge that I said anything. "I won't forget about you guys I pr-" Dez cracks.
"I can't f*cking do this. I- I need you to stay Austin. Please. Trish... Can we talk alone for a minute? We'll go into his apartment." She nods, completely understanding. "Dez, you're gonna be f-" he glares at me, lifting up his sleeve. Cuts. That's all I see. "What the f*ck?! What the h*ll are you doing?! Do you not see that it becomes a f*cking addiction and you can't stop?! Do you realize that Dez?! That's how this started! I cut myself and after I tried f*cking tried to kill myself five d*mn times! And it forced Ally to cut herself! What if Trish cuts herself be-" he cuts me off in anger. "That's why I'm f*cking cutting myself! Because Trish cut herself Austin! She cut herself because of losing Ally and she cut herself more when you were going to kill yourself again*!" I run to their apartment and run to Trish. I grab her arms and see the scars on her arm as well. I grab my hair and pull, falling to the ground, sobbing. "You guys need to stop this sh*t because do you see where I am?! Look at me! I'm a walking disaster and I'm not even worth your f*cking time let alone worth cutting yourself for! I'm not f*cking worth it!" Dez looks down at me. "You f*cking think that but look at us! Me, Trish and Ally cut ourselves because we care about you so d*mn much and you were in so much pain! If that doesn't make you realize that you are* worth our time then I have no clue who you are anymore!" I stand up and run into my apartment. "You don't f*cking realize," I grab a knife and slice my arm. "That I don't" I do it harder, deeper in the same spot. "Even want to be here!" I do it again and this time, I feel my bone. I take the knife and slide my back down the cabinet, putting the knife back in the cut hitting the bone again, gasping. I've never felt that... Good... Before. Not since I started cutting. I became immune to the pain and I put it in again and tap the bone with the point. I turn the knife in a circle, making the cut bigger but also scraping part of the bone off. I groan in pain but also the pleasure of feeling the pain again. "W-wow..." I look down into the cut and see the bone and it makes me shiver. I make another cut just as deep as that one. "F*ck." I say as I must've hit a major artery, blood squirting from my arm. I look up at them from my one eye, realizing they've been yelling but I was too intrigued to care. "Get Ariana and leave. This... This is it guys... I grab a towel and put it around my arm, getting up to hug them, not hearing their cries. I sit back down and pull the towel away. I'm already dizzy and cut another deep cut. Probably hitting another major artery. I can barley open my eyes as I sit in my kitchen.
"Dad?" I hear and I don't have enough energy to respond. "Dad!" I feel someone sit next to me and I turn my head toward them. I open my eyes as wide as I could and Ari's next to me crying. "Don't leave..." She whispers and I shake my head. "It's over... I- I love you Ar..." She sobs on my shoulders. "To the moon and back." She says, obviously still crying. "Forever" she says and I look at her, putting my arm around her and kissing her forehead. "And always..." I whisper and that's where everything ends.
Dez's POV
The ambulance is already up the stairs by the time he passed out. He passed out around Ari as she clutches her body around his, sobbing into his shoulder. "Dad!" She sobs out and I feel frozen to my spot. Trish rushes to her, pulling her out of the doctors way. She fights for a moment before collapsing in her arms to cry. "He's back but just went into shock." Someone says and my head snaps toward them. "Too much blood loss." Another says and I stare at them. "Will he be okay?" I ask and they nod. "Jesus Austin..." I mumble and Ari cries a little more. "Ar, he's gonna be okay..." She covers her mouth. "He will?" She asks in a tiny voice. "Yes." I say and she smiles a little and squeezes Trish but starts to cry again. "I didn't know you were serious auntie Tish! I- I can't believe daddy tried to kill himself!" She pulls Ari in for an even tighter hug as she sobs again but she pulls away minutes later. "So... He really tried to kill himself five times?" Trish sighs. "Six now..." She bites her lip, trying to hold her tears in as she takes a deep breath. "And they were really all 'cause he thought he was gonna lose me and mommy?" She nods. "Gosh. I'm so dumb." She outs her hand over her eyes as she starts to cry. "Is that where he would always disappear to? When he was gone for the holidays and my birthday?" She nods. "So he didn't actually fall on scissors did he?" She shakes her head no. "And he didn't actually fall of the bike did he?" She sighs and says no. "And when we went to Washington he wasn't really staying in apartments was he?" Trish shakes her head once again. "Will you guys help me with something?" She asks and we both look at each other and nod. "Can I write him a book?" She asks and we shrug. "Yeah of course. Why not?" She smiles a little. "I just need you to spell check when I'm done." We nod. "Of course..." I say and she smiles.
Trish and Ari go to our apartment and the ambulance takes Austin to the hospital. We're not allowed to see him until later today. He should be awake by then. I stay and clean up the lots of blood from the kitchen floor and sigh. "God, I wish he was happy again." I whisper to no one in particular but hoping someone was listening.
No ones POV
"I'm gonna start writing my book okay?" Trish nods at her and hands her college ruled paper. "Or would you rather type it?" Dez asks her and she shakes her head. "No thanks."
Once upon a time she begins to write a little girl named Ariana Melody Moon (thats me) was born on August 25 2013, which was her parents anniversary. I don't remember a lot from before she was two years old but I was always the happiest girl since I can remember. And later I learned that the happiness didn't last forever.
My parents got me everything she wanted and they spent so much time laughing and having lots of fun together. That's why I was always so happy. I learned later that it wasn't always like that.
Then my daddy started leaving for months at a time and I never knew why. I never told my mom how I felt about it and tried to not ask her why he was always leaving. I thought that she wouldn't answer her anyway. So I moved on, holding onto her teddy bear that always reminded her of him. But he would come back. The first time, he didn't even say goodbye to me, I remember being very sad that daddy had left without saying goodbye and never really understood why he left. When he came back, it was months later. I was mad at him and told him that he missed my birthday. He said he was sick and that he couldn't move. I learn later that's not what happened.
A few months later, daddy's family came home and over heard my daddy say that he had tried to kill himself. I very upset, refusing to leave his side. I thought it was my fault that he wanted to die and didn't want him leaving me again. But this time it would be forever. And the next day he left. I locked myself in my room thinking that he had killed himself but he sent us a video. It was a video of daddy being beaten and shot. I had never cried so hard in my life and thought it wasn't even possible to ever cry harder. I later learned that wasn't true.
I was in the hospital with her daddy using flash cards for school. I kept getting them wrong. So I cried and called myself stupid. That's when I learned I had dyslexia. I learned that daddy had it too. And that they would work on it with me even when I wasn't in school. I still felt stupid though. All the kids in her school made fun of me and called me bad names except for my boyfriend Aust. He tried to protect me but it didn't help so I told him to stop trying. I never told her parents. I knew they had enough going on. I learned later that 'enough' was an understatement.
I found out mommy cut herself and I couldn't figure out why. I thought it was silly. I witnessed my dad hurt himself as I watched blood come from his arms that one day in the bathroom. I thought it was scarier than anything I had ever seen. That I couldn't see worse. Nothing could be worse. I learned later that wasn't true either.
That day, daddy left again. I was more upset about him leaving more than ever because he had come to say goodbye to me and told me he would try to see me again. When he said try, I thought it was the end. I would really never see daddy again. I didn't know why he kept leaving. Or why he left but always ended up in the hospital and then come home. I always thought once he came back, he would stay with me forever. But I learned later that what I thought wasn't true.
Once again daddy was in the hospital. I never knew why, just hoped he would come home. On our way to see his for the first time in awhile, but we got into a car accident. I hurt my head and had a cast in my arm and didnt remember who mommy was but remembered who daddy was. But he left then too. I thought he'd be with me, when I needed him most. But I learned when he left that it wasn't true. It seemed like nothing was true.
But once again, we visited daddy in the hospital. I always wondered why he was in the hospital but it didn't really matter. What mattered was that he was with me and I had to make the best of it before he left again. But he left sooner than ever before. He stayed in an apartment for three weeks and then went to the hospital again. He was sick again. It wasn't true.
I was at daycare. A man barged in and we all began to scream. He hit the teachers and tied them in the corner. Then tying us up after. He called someone on his phone and a few minutes later, daddy was there coming to the rescue. But that man still hit me and daddy let it happen. So I was afraid and upset that he would let that happen. He brought me to the hospital and didn't even stay to see if I was okay. He left without even seeing if I was okay. I thought he'd stay. But that wasn't true.
Mom got into a car accident. So I had no one. I felt like I hated my daddy because he hated me. I cried and yelled at me. He never had before. It's just proved my theory that he hated me. So I cried even more. Which made him yell even more which made me more upset than mad. I knew I didn't hate him. But I knew he hated me. He punished me and I horrible. We finally made up. He told me he loved me. He told me he'd never leave and that he'd be with me the whole time. But that too wasn't true.
This is when I realize that everything was a lie. Daddy was never actually sick. He was hurt. Not from scissors, not from falling, not from whatever they told me. He would leave and end up in the hospital. He wouldn't leave mp because of me. He left because he was hurt. I remember the conversations they had before he left almost every time. He was in the hospital for trying to kill himself. I realized the lies.
The first time, mommy and daddy were fighting. I didn't quite understand it all in the moment but I understand it more than before. They were fighting about them getting married and fighting about other things. Like raising me. He went into the bathroom and came out covered it what I now know is blood. And daddy stayed as me and mommy went to aunt Trish's and uncle Dez's. he came in and told us he was moving. And that he was sorry. Then I realized, he moved because of me. I realized I was mad at him for not being there with me in my birthday but now realize that he tried to call but mom wouldn't let him. I'm not mad at him but I'm not mad at her either. She wouldn't try to hurt me and neither would mommy. But I realize he tried to kill himself that day. Because mommy said he would never be my father. And now I realize, he left because of me.
I took my first steps in the hospital. I remember that daddy couldn't speak very good and that he looked like he was hurt. I remember when he came home, I was mad so he showed me his cut. I was right through his ribs. They told me he was running with scissors and he fell. But now I realize he actually stabbed himself. He tried to kill himself because of me.
Daddy's family came over one day. They were fine. But then I came home. That's when the yelling started I'm sure. He brought me into my room and asked him to draw a picture. But as I drew, I listened as well. He tried to kill himself. Twice. I didn't think of it at first but now. I realized what the second time was but what was the first? He explained the story to his family and I listened. He tried to kill himself the day I was born. Once again, he tried to kill himself because of me.
He left one day. I was crying. Harder than ever before. I thought he was going to kill himself. But here wasn't really yelling but I knew what had happened. Daddy was talking about me. About my dyslexia and how much time he hadn't spent with me. But then we got the video. It said to show me first so mommy did. And someone was trying to kill my daddy. I realized that it was my fault. That I made him leave and that led him to get taken. He was taken because of me.
We were fine for a little while and we worked on my dyslexia. I understood it was hard for me but I didn't want to take it slower. The kids in school were mean to me. So we played a game called jeopardy. We played for a little while and I saw marks on Mommy's wrist. So I asked her what it was. My mommy and daddy shared a look and everything went down from there. They were yelling and crying. This is when I saw daddy cut himself. It was more terrifying then anything I've ever seen. It couldn't get worse could it? It could. He left again. But I realized that he left again because of the cuts. I brought that up. He left because of me.
He left again. Mommy and daddy were fighting. Over picking up each others pieces. I didn't understand. What pieces needed to be picked up? But now I realize that those pieces that needed to be picked up were me. He couldn't pick up Mommy's pieces because I forgot who she was. They fought because of me and daddy left again. He left because of me.
He was gone for about a month. He was with his mom. Far away. They hadn't spoken for a month but when they got on the phone, they were talking about me. That someone needed custody. That I needed daddy. Later that day we went to see him because he ended up in the hospital again. Why? They to,d me that he tripped and hurt himself but I realized the lies. He hadn't tripped. That would have to be a pretty hard fall. He had jumped. From the forth floor. He again tried to kill himself. Because of me.
He went to an apartment after he got out of the hospital but I wasn't allowed to come see him. I wondered why. But as the days went by, I began realizing that he was at a different kind of hospital. Not one to fix you physically but to fix your brain. He had tried to kill himself too many times. He tried to kill himself because of me. He was in this place because of me.
He was in the hospital again, I'm really not sure why though. Well, I don't really understand it. He hadn't tried to kill himself. Daddy hadn't been very good to all of us. Uncle Dez thought so anyway. He thought daddy didn't care so they fought. It was scary to hear. Even scarier then when I saw daddy hurt himself. That's when I realized the lies. And that's when I realized this was all because of me.
I also realized daddy tried to save me that day. But he was tied up too. He couldn't help me but he had come to save me. I wish I'd realize that sooner. Daddy took me to the hospital but I kicked him and punched him because I thought in as his fault. I ran to mommy. She thought that he hurt me. I thought so too at the time. So he had to leave. But now I realize he was as hurt as I was. Because he was trying to save me. He was hurt. He left. Because of me.
I yelled at daddy. Mommy had just got into an accident and they were on their way to see him. But I realize now that the only reason why heft in the first place was because of me. So mommy actually got into that accident because of me. I was mad at daddy and he was mad at me. But I realized I was hurting us both. He didn't want to be mad at me and I needed him to comfort me. So I talked to him and apologized. I apologized so many times because this is when I began realizing everything was because of me. He promised he be with me as mommy was asleep but that was a lie. He tried to kill himself again. Because of me.
I wanted mommy. I was upset and cried and cried until my eyes were dry. I stared yelling at daddy. I thought he was replacing her and I told him to kill himself. I don't know what came over me. I didn't realize that he had actually tried to kill himself before because I was sucked into the lies. I figured he would leave and be free of me. He deserved better than me because I was the problem for everything. But little did I know that he had tried to kill himself five times before but another time. Because of me.
He's gone again and it's because of me. I realized this all today. When he tried to kill himself. When I sat down beside him and told him that I loved him. We recited out 'I love you's and realized that I couldn't do this without him. I needed my daddy but there he was, lying on our kitchen floor. Blood pouring from his arms as I helplessly cringed onto his body as if my life and his depended on it. Which, they seemed to. He's going to be okay though. They told me so. But that doesn't change anything. He still tried to kill himself. All because of me.
"Auntie Tish?" Ariana calls out and she smiles at her. "You've worked for two hours straight. You ready for a break?" Ari gives a slight smile back. "Will you read it?" She laughs and nods. "I- I hope you like it..." Ari hands her to booklet and Trish kisses Ari's forehead. "Of course." She says.
Trish's POV
I grab the book from Ari. I wonder what it's about. It's probably about a princess in a castle and finding her true love. I laugh, opening to the first page. As I read, my eyebrows scrunch in confusion. It takes me awhile to read. It was really long. I look at her in shock, tears running down my face as she doodles a picture on another piece of paper. "Sweetie..." She looks up at me and sighs, looking back down. It says 'realizing the lies and that it's because of me'. There are two adults standing far apart from each other, a man and woman, and a little girl. In between the two, sitting on the ground with an x through her. "Ari it's not because of you. Your parents-" she cuts me off. "Stop lying to me. I realized the lies and you can't cover it up anymore..." I grab her hand as she starts to cry. "Dez!" I call out and he comes toward me from the bedroom where Aust is. "Read this." I say and he nods, taking it from my hands.
About ten minutes later he looks up at me. "She wrote this?" I nod. "God... Lets to talk to Austin about it. He'll read it and help her through this." I nod. "I feel so bad." He kisses my forehead. "Me too..." He whispers.
Let me know what you think?