Chapter 6: Forgiveness

Luke Danes sprinted into St. Joseph's hospital, his wife hot on his heels. Even though it was the middle of the night, he would fight through sheer exhaustion and a thousand other things to be where he needed to be right now.

The police call had come in as dinner was being finished, just as the adults were wondering if their daughters would be back soon, with April hopefully calmed down. Upon hearing the news, Lorelai had let out a blood-curdling wail and collapsed to the ground, her husband barely catching her. It was her worst nightmare come to life, and she knew it, too, appearing shaken and silently subdued all the way to the hospital. At one point, she had conked out against the window, allowing Luke to do most of the worrying. He gladly did so, hating to see his love in any distress.

Luke now threw himself at the receptionist desk. "Lorelai Leigh Gilmore and April Elizabeth Nardini! Where are they?"

"Sir, I need your name, please -"

"Luke Danes; I'm their father, dammit!"

"OK, sir, I know you're upset, but we have to get you processed and checked in..."

"No, no, you don't understand - those are my daughters in there!" Luke roared. "You're going to go in there and tell those doctors to stick their hospital policies firmly up their asses, and you're gonna let me go back there and hold my little girls' hands!" He broke down sobbing against the desk. "Please... I need to know they're OK... it can't end like this..."

Despite all previous professional experience, Luke's vehemence left the nurse on call scrambling to obey. It was not even five minutes later when a doctor started to call Luke's name, only to be almost shoved aside as Luke and Lorelai charged into the ward, scarcely hearing the room number shouted after them.

It was a spacious room, with two beds. Rory and April were lined up side-by-side, hooked up to monitors and IVs. Rory appeared awake and alert; upon seeing her, Lorelai broke into relieved sobs and launched herself at her daughter.

"Mom!"

"Oh my baby... oh..." Lorelai covered Rory's face with kisses. "What happened?"

"We almost hit a deer, I tried to avoid it and the car flipped. April gave me just enough warning, otherwise it could have been worse."

Luke rushed to embrace his stepdaughter, before turning to April, who appeared unresponsive. "Is she...?"

"She had a pulse when I checked her," Rory murmured quietly.

Luke rushed around the other side of the far bed and clutched April's tiny hand in his own. To have only just found her, only to possibly lose her again, forever. "Sweetheart... please come back. Please open your eyes..."

It was as though Luke's voice was magic. The beeping of the monitors rapidly shifted in pace, as April stirred and emerged from the netherworld. She coughed once.

"Dad?"

"Oh, thank goodness!" Luke sighed out.

April tilted her head to one side, with what must have been great effort, to observe Rory. "Rory?"

Rory smirked. "Hey, kid."

"How... how did we get here?"

"You were knocked out by the crash, honey," Rory soothed gently. I had to get your seat belt unfastened and pull you out my end. Your door was pinned against the tree; it wouldn't budge."

April stared, vaguely remembering the flames. The smoke... she could still smell it. "Great. Just what I needed: my own version of Double Jeopardy."

Rory frowned. "The show or the movie?"

"Which do you think?" The two girls shared a brief chuckle. A pause, and then: "You pulled me out? You sacrificed yourself for me?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't I? I... I love you."

"I was so horrible to you... and our parents..." Tears shimmered and leaked from the little girl's eyes. She broke down, her body heaving with sobs. Ever conscientiousness, Luke placed a tender hand on his daughter's arm.

"Easy... the monitors..."

"I'm sorry!" April wept. "I've been so horrible... and ungrateful... and... and..."

Luke fiercely kissed her forehead. "Let's not talk about it anymore for right now," he murmured. "Your stepmother and I are just happy you're OK..." An idea occurred to him. "Do you want anything? Anything at all?"

April smiled gently. "I want a Luke's burger, please."

Luke burst into laughter. "I'll call Caesar right now!"

"Luke!" his wife admonished. "It's the middle of the night!"

"Then he better hurry! My daughter wants a burger!"

April giggled, but then her eyes met Lorelai's and she faltered. Wilted, almost. Lorelai sent her an expression full of overflowing love.

"I forgive you, sweetie."

Rory's hand brushed her stepsister's. Their eyes locked. "I forgive you, too. Sisters?"

April beamed, gulping down another sob. "Sisters."

Rory was released from the hospital the very next day. Due to her injuries being more extensive, not the least of which was a broken rib, April was finally discharged about a week later.

From then on, there was a palpable, permanent shift in the interactions of the Danes-Gilmore-Nardini household. April was much more amicable and sweet, willing to open up. Once again, she began to talk with enthusiasm about her scientific endeavors, which left her parents feeling greatly relieved. And for their part, Luke, Lorelai and Rory all made a better effort to ask April about her thoughts and feelings. What she wanted. It seemed to everyone in the family that their April was back.

Except in one way. Whenever April would politely ask for something, she would do so meekly. Usually prefaced with phrases such as... "If it's not too much trouble...: or "I would so appreciate it if...", she was suddenly very humbling and careful. When she asked Lorelai politely for a glass of juice one evening, when the two of them were alone, her stepmother felt the need to broach the subject that had been weighing on her.

"April? Can I ask you something?"

"Ask away, Lorelai."

"Why do you feel the need to be so careful when asking for things? You know your daddy and sister and I would do anything for you."

Silence for a moment, as April squirmed, trying and failing to look her stepmother in the eye from where they were seated on the couch. The little girl wrung her hands in her lap, looking down at her fingers. "I just feel like I don't always deserve it. After..."

Lorelai's eyes widened in understanding, as her features softened with care. "We've been over this, April. Rory and Dad and I forgive you. That's in the past. And in some ways, it wasn't you. I know that's not my April." She now tilted her head to one side, studying the preteen. "We've forgiven you, April. But I wonder... if you have forgiven yourself?"

April's gaze suddenly locked onto hers, her lip quivering. There. Lorelai knew she had hit the nail right on the head, for in the next moment, April came apart, bawling her eyes out.

"Aw..." Lorelai pulled her shaking body into her lap and rocked her stepdaughter gently. April felt awkward, over sized. Not worthy.

"Forgive yourself... let it out... forgive yourself..." Lorelai soothed.

"I miss my mom..."

"I know, baby... I know..."

"Lorelai?"

"Hmmm?"

"... I love you."

"Oh, and I you, every day and every hour..."

After a few minutes, with a deep, shuddering breath, April relaxed in the warm embrace. Finally, for perhaps the first time since her mother's death, she was at peace.