"Mommy, why is Daddy yelling at the television?"
"Daddy is just lamenting the fact that the Blackhawks are beating the Flyers at hockey. Daddy takes hockey quite seriously, even though it's just two groups of grown men using Newton's 3 Laws of Motion to move a piece of rubber across some ice while wearing skates."
"What's la men ting?" Christine was obviously puzzled by the word.
"A lament means a group of sad words about something that is upsetting someone. Daddy is a little upset about the hockey game."
Christine thought a minute. "I don't think Daddy is lamenting, because the word he uses starts with a D. He's saying dammit, not lament. He's using lots of different words. Some start with B's and some start with F's and some start with S's. But none of the words start with an L sound like lament. Sometimes he uses a lot of different words together. He's also talking a lot about somebody named Jesus, but I don't think it's the same Jesus we talk about at church, because Daddy sounds mad when he says this man's name.
"Christine, do you remember that you and I talked about the idea that there are some words that children shouldn't say because they aren't nice? Daddy may be saying some words that aren't very nice."
"Okay, Mommy, I won't say those words. But what do dumbasses do? There are 3 men wearing black and white shirts skating around the other men on the ice and they are making Daddy mad. He says they are dumbasses. What does that mean? "
"It means your Daddy may have to sit in the penalty box for a few minutes. Booth, I need to talk to you at intermission…"