We were at the initiation party when Jesse, the guy who works at the radio station with me and the one who sang to me on my first day, came up to me. After he left to get me a drink, Chloe came over and talked to me. She was saying how we were going to be best friends for the rest of our lives, and she asked me who I had my eye on. As I would say to anyone who asked me that question, I replied nobody, but she didn't buy it.
"What about that guy that was just talking to you? He's pretty cute."
"You mean Jesse? No. He doesn't like me like that." I replied.
"And what if he does?" She asked.
"Trust me. He doesn't."
"Come on Becca. You can't just hide from everyone that cares about you. Especially if it's a boy."
"Why not? That would make life so much easier." Chloe shot me a look that said "you've got to be kidding me", and walked away. At that moment, Jesse walked back up with my drink, which I admit was pretty cool of him to do, but that doesn't mean I'm going to marry him someday. Then, Jesse shouted, at the top of his lungs, "WE ARE THE KINGS OF CAMPUS!" I swear that boy is the most drunk he will ever get right now. And the whole crowd broke into song. During the singing Jesse got close to me, like really close, as if we were together, but I doubt it means anything. I mean, who could like me like that? Especially someone who could get anyone he wanted, someone with such a great voice, and a nice personality. It just doesn't add up. Any signs he shows me are probably just a prank he and the other trebles are pulling to get me unfocused. And, anyway, Aubrey would kill me if she found out I had some kind of social life upside of the Bella's.
A few days later I was messing around with some songs on the quad when Jesse came up to me. He tossed me a juice pouch and told me what he wanted to do. Unfortunately, it involved watching movies, which bore me, and the endings are so predictable. Jesse ended up giving me a speech about how inhuman it was to not enjoy movies. And throughout that time period I did give him some hints like "oh your girlfriend is really lucky" while secretly hoping he didn't have one, which he didn't.
One day while I was explaining to him what I'm always doing on my laptop, he told me we were going to watch the ending of The Breakfast Club. He has a habit of making himself at home. I hope he knows that. Anyway, we both crawled into my bed and sat real close. At the end of the movie Jesse leaned in for a kiss, and I would have kissed him, but then I thought what it might lead to, and worried that I might get kicked out of the Bella's, and believe it or not, I was actually having a great time with the Bella's. It was a nice change from my usual lone wolf strategy to socializing. I pulled away and paused the movie. I hope that didn't hurt his feelings. Then my roommate, Kimmiejin walked in. And at that point the mood was officially ruined. Jesse got up and left and thanked Kimmiejin, but he didn't say anything to me. It hurt his feelings. Why can't anything work out the way I want it to?
Later, after we performed at the semifinals, I got into a fight with Aubrey for singing bulletproof during our set. Jesse butted in and I was so angry with Aubrey I yelled at him, and said I didn't need his help and told him to back off. I just wish he could know why I couldn't be with him right now, and why I needed to do this by myself. So Jesse ended up not being the thing that got me kicked out of the Bella's. It was me changing the set. I never imagined it would be like this.
During spring break, I was allowed to run the radio station. While I was working there I found The Breakfast Club. I knew what I had to do. I watched the whole movie, and when you actually see the whole thing, it's amazing. I cried at the end, it was so beautiful and I finally knew what Jesse had been trying to tell me. But thinking about Jesse just made me cry more because I knew he was mad at me.
So when he got back from break, I went to his dorm and apologized for yelling. But he wasn't mad about the yelling. He was mad at me because I push away anyone that could care about me. I don't know why I do that, I just do. I ended up watching all of Jesse's favorite movies, and I figured out why I push everyone away. It's because of my parents' divorce. My mom cared so much about me and I cared about her, too. And when they separated, I was devastated. I never wanted to feel like that again, so I figured if I made sure nobody cared about me then I wouldn't care about them, and I wouldn't feel like that ever again. Sure that worked, but it was also really lonely. The only way I can be happy is if I get Jesse back, and that is going to require getting back into the Bella's. I have a plan.
I went to the Bella's rehearsal to apologize and everyone was fighting. Was this all because of me? I apologized and they let me back in the group. Then some people started sharing stuff about themselves that no one else knew. This was good. If we all share our most personal secrets then we can really get to know each other and bond. We will be a real sisterhood, rather than a group of people that just sing together. Once we all could trust each other then we could get to the work that will make the group a truly special one. I created a mash up that we would practice for the national championships. My plan was all falling into place. All that was left to do was perform at the ICCA's.
The trebles were on before us and I said good luck to Jesse, and he said thanks and good luck back. Their set was AMAZING and somehow Benji got in the group, but it was still great. We were on next, and I was getting nervous. Then I remembered what the big payoff was and I calmed down. I had a big solo toward the beginning, and I was singing the song from The Breakfast Club, the one sing I knew Jesse would have a weakness to. The solo was great, and Jesse did exactly what I was hoping he would do. He put his arm up after the part where I repeat "when I walk on by, will you call my name?". It was perfect. When we were done performing I knew. I knew he had forgiven me, and I knew I had to go get what I wanted before it was too late again. As I walked to my seat behind Jesse, he called out, "I told you, the endings are the best part." He's such a weirdo. I pulled him close and we shared the most amazing moment of my life. As we kissed I could tell he was the one. He was he one I needed the rest of my life. I couldn't live without him. I didn't care what I had to do to be with him. If that means not being a part of the Bella's, then that's a compromise I'm willing to make. Fortunately, I didn't have to make that compromise, and Jesse and I were free to be together and do what we wanted, whatever that may be.