Author's Note: I think this chapter is one of the silliest things I've ever written, haha.
Everybody Loves Vegeta, Too!
Part Two
When Vegeta awoke the next morning, he knew something was wrong. The birds were screaming their heads off outside the window, so the storm must have cleared up in the early dawn. He reached forward to pull Goku's body closer to him, but the other side of the mattress was vacant.
He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and glanced to his left. Goku stood at the entrance of the bedroom, face white as a ghost.
"What's your deal?" he growled. He stretched like a cat under the bed sheets and pulled himself up. I'm not going look like a slouch in front of Kakarot.
For some reason he felt really cold.
"Uh-oh," Goku said.
"Uh-oh what?" Vegeta ran his fingers through his hair and—
Huh?…What…
He tried to do it again.
"What the…what the fuck?" He felt faint. "What the fuck?" he said again, as if his profanity would ease his confusion. "What the fucking fuck?"
"Listen, Vegeta." Goku held up his hands, looking like someone surrendering to the police and free of any drug possession. "I need you to calm down. Okay?" He was also sweating profusely.
Vegeta ran to the chest of drawers in corner of the room and stared in the mirror.
All of his hair was gone.
"Kaka—kaka—"
"I don't know what happened last night, but I swear it wasn't my fault!" Goku cried. "Your hair, it was all over the pillow, and—"
Vegeta looked over at the bed. All of his beautiful Saiyan locks were on the bed sheets, pillows, and floor just chilling as if they had business being there. Every single…last hair follicle…
"WHAT THE FUCK!" Vegeta clawed at his scalp. His velvety, spiky locks, his pride, his manhood, his beauty, every single inch of it was gone! His head was more hairless than a starlet's crotch on the night of a red carpet event.
How the FUCK did this happen?! "Kakarot, a Saiyan dies with the same amount of hair on his head at the day he was born! This is an impossibility!"
Goku ran toward the bed and rummaged through his nightstand drawer. "Vegeta it's okay, I know how to fix this!" He pulled out a Sharpie and stood in front of Vegeta to save his eyes from the further onslaught of viewing his bald-egg head. He drew something on the Prince's forehead.
"Okay, look at it now!" Goku said with an innocent smile. Vegeta pushed him aside to get another glimpse of himself in the mirror.
"YOU FUCKING MORON!" Vegeta's face glowed red as a bright tomato. Goku had drawn two rows of six dots right where his widow's peak used to be.
"See, now you look like Krillen. Problem solved!"
"WHY WOULD I WANT TO LOOK LIKE YOUR WEAK, IDIOTIC, SHORT, BALD FRIEND?" Vegeta spat on his hand and tried to rub the six marks off his head.
Goku put his hand behind his head. "I'm sorry Vegeta, but I don't know what else I can do!"
Vegeta started to hyperventilate. He clutched both hands on the side of the chest of drawers until the oak finish split beneath his white knuckles. "I think I'm going faint."
"Don't be silly, Vegeta. It really isn't that serious—oh!" Vegeta collapsed onto the floor in a pathetic puddle of Saiyan.
"Oooh, what do I do now?" Goku flailed his arms around helplessly. He rummaged inside his gi pants until he found his phone. He dialed a number, and screamed into the headset the moment someone picked up on the opposite end.
"Good morning Goku! What's up?"
"Vegeta just fainted!" Goku picked the Prince up from the floor and flung him over the shoulder.
"Whoa. Did you guys train each other to death or something?" Bulma was aware of their relationship, and wanted to offer Goku any sort of emotional support when dealing with her ex. Half the time he was a pompous jerk, which was his tolerable side. During the other half he was usually freaking out about something most other people didn't care about too much.
"He lost all of his hair. It just fell out while we were sleeping." Goku carried Vegeta through the living room, and saw Goten and Trunks sleeping on top of each other on the couch…Which was strange, since they had a huge guest loft setup downstairs. Goku shrugged it off for now, and walked outside onto the crisp lawn. It really was beautiful outside, a perfect day to train and maybe rummage around the beach for a few hours. Maybe Vegeta would be up for it later.
"What do you mean 'lost it'? Like, it just fell out?"
"Yeah. Do you think you can do anything to make it grow back?"
Bulma snorted. "For centuries men have searched for the cure for hair loss. Surprisingly in this day and age of personal space ships and time travel, I don't have too much that can help him beyond surgery." She sighed over the line. "And there's no way I could give Vegeta hair like he had before."
Goku was crestfallen. All his life Bulma was the brains behind the Z-fighters, building technical contraptions that set her in the same vein of scientific giants like Einstein and Hawking. But now she was just giving up!
"Come on, Bulma," Goku whined. He began to pout and use his puppy-dog eyes despite the fact she was miles away at Capsule Corp.
She tsked. "Okay, give me some time and I'll see what I can do. I can run some tests if you send him on over here later today."
"Thanks so much, Bulma!" Goku hung up and looked at his pathetic partner, who was still passed out. He walked back into the living room with him still slung over his shoulder, and shook Goten's limp body on the couch.
"Mmm?" Goten arose off Trunks slowly. "Oh, weird, I don't remember coming up here. Hey, Trunks." He shook his friend under him until he roused from his own slumber.
Trunks looked up into Goten's face, smiled…then looked further up at Goku's curious expression. "Ah, Goku!" He pushed Goten off his lap and straightened his clothes.
Goku would have to question his son and "friend" later. "Do either of you have a hat? Vegeta lost all of his hair in the middle of the night and fainted in shock."
"Oh, shit, Dad!" Trunks said, staring at his father's shiny bald head. His hand hesitated for a quick second, but he found the bravery to rub his father's head like a magic lamp. "Hehe."
"I have a hat!" Goten said cheerfully. He scrambled away from the couch and ran to his room on the opposite side of the house.
GuuurRRP. Goku's stomach rumbled loudly. He clenched his abs with his Vegeta-free hand. "I'm starving! I'm going to go grocery shopping with Vegeta and see if that will make him feel any better."
Goten bounced back into the living room holding a knit hat. "I think he'd look pretty cool in this one."
"Thanks." Goku shoved the cap down onto Vegeta's head. He already looked a lot less offensive…Cute, even! "Alright, see you two later?" Goku gave Trunks a sideway glance. Trunks just shyly looked off into another corner. I guess I can leave these two alone without them getting into trouble.
Goten and Trunks waved goodbye as Goku blasted off from the front lawn into the clear skies.
Vegeta woke up as they landed in the parking lot of a supermarket miles west from the Son home. Right in the middle of the city. Which Goku only tolerated because the city had lots and lots of food. Goku slowly set the tiny-framed Vegeta down on the lot asphalt. "You doing okay, buddy?"
Instinctively, Vegeta reached for his head. "What did you put on me? Are these cat ears?"
"Nyaan, I think it looks cute, Vegeta!" Vegeta was wearing Goten's black cat cap with pointy kitty ears. The hat even had giant green kitty eyes knitted on the front.
Goku reached out and pulled on one of the ears affectionately. Vegeta slapped his hand away. "I'm not your fucking kitten!"
"Don't worry Vegeta, this is just temporary. I called Bulma and she said I can take you over to Capsule Corp to see if we can fix this later." Goku pulled on Vegeta's arm and walked toward the grocery basket stall next to the supermarket's entrance. "Just chill out. We can distract ourselves with food!"
"You would make us do something you liked to make me feel better," Vegeta growled under his breath. He felt like a child as he followed Goku through the sliding entrance doors.
ALERT! ALERT! STOLEN MERCHANDISE HAS BEEN TAKEN FROM THE PREMISES! Alarm bells screamed as Vegeta cross the threshold into the store. Everyone within a 50 foot radius took their attention away from their shopping carts and screaming kids to stare at Vegeta.
"Oh, gods." Vegeta pulled his cat hat down low enough to cover his eyes. This is so shameful, he thought. I look like I just walked out of a godsdammed anime convention!
"Hold it right thurr, buddy!" A security cop strolled over to the confused couple. He was rotund and held his hand cocked at his side as if he had a loaded gun. All he was packing was a silver whistle and a pair of keys on his pant hip. The sirens continued to scream in the background as he poked Vegeta in the side. "Can I see the receipt for your goods?"
Vegeta pulled away from the probing finger. "We just walked into the damn store!"
"Yeah, mister, we just walked in," Goku said.
"Then why is the alarm going off, huh? Can you explain yourself out of that pickle, partner?" The cop poked Vegeta's ribs again.
Vegeta blushed. "I don't know why your shitty security system has failed, but if you touch me one more time I will bite your finger clean off and shove it so far up your ass you'll be using it as a tongue!" Fuming, Vegeta stalked away.
Goku laughed nervously. "Sorry, sir. We really did just walk in." He raced after Vegeta down a food aisle.
Vegeta silently loaded up their basket with various goods without saying a word. This isn't working out as well as I planned, Goku thought. He pulled down a huge box of Frosted Flakes, turned around, and saw a young woman staring at his backside.
"Oh my!" She said, blushing.
Goku blinked. "Hi?"
The woman continued to stare, this time up and down Goku's body. Her mouth was gaping open. Speechless.
"Can I help you with something?" Goku hated this part about going into the city! People would always look at him funny, usually women, like he was some kind of freak of nature. He could never figure out what was so interesting about him, and some days felt rude enough to just tell them to go away. That wouldn't be very nice, though.
"What are you looking at, woman?" Vegeta screeched from a few feet away. He saw the lady leering at his man, and looked as if he was ready to twist her arm off.
She ignored Vegeta. "I was just admiring your, um, pants." The woman took the opportunity to gaze at Goku's nether regions. "Yeah, I'd totally hit that. Mm-hmm."
"Excuse me?" Goku said.
"Did I say that out loud?" The woman covered her mouth. "Sorry! I just really, really…like your pants."
Goku's face brightened. "Oh, um, thanks! They're not that special, though."
"They're quite spectacular." She looked as if she could jump Goku right in front of the stack of Froot Loops to their side.
"Beat it, tramp." Vegeta hooked his arm with Goku's and stuck his tongue out at her. "He's not interested." Before the woman could retort with anything, Vegeta dragged Goku around the corner to the next aisle.
To his chagrin, a whole flock of peeping women were just around the corner, nearly climbing over themselves to catch a glimpse of Goku.
Goku blushed and waved. "Hello."
"Hi!" All of the women said in unison. The age group ranged from high-school girls to the elderly. A pudgy grandmother tried to peer between the legs of the women in front of her, her old lady purse jingling with the sound of loose change as her hand shook in excitement.
"I can't believe this!" Vegeta said. This literally happens everywhere we go. Women slobbering all over Kakarot. Not today. Vegeta walked up to the leader of the pack, a hot 20-something whose blouse buttons had miraculously opened to reveal her lacy bra. "He's taken, harpies!"
"By whom?" asked a hipster girl who was twirling her long hair around her finger, basking in the hotness that was Son Goku.
"By me."
All of the women pried their eyes away from Goku long enough to give Vegeta a once-over. "Are you his kid cousin or something?" a woman asked.
"I'M NOT A CHILD!" Vegeta screamed, baring his fangs.
"It's okay, Vegeta." Goku rubbed the Saiyan Prince's shoulders. "They usually go away when I go through checkout."
"No. I'm tired of this shit!" He pulled Goku toward his chest and kissed him deeply. Goku blushed at seeing all of the women gape at them.
He gently pushed Vegeta away. "Not in front of them, 'geta!"
He ignored him, and pulled Goku's head down to smash his lips into his face. He pushed his tongue down the taller man's throat, who moaned in response. Vegeta ripped his face away from Goku, and stared in defiance at the women. "Do you all get it yet?"
One woman pulled a church fan out of her purse and waved it under her neck. "That's actually kinda hot, sir."
"Yea, we like it," said the hipster girl. All of the women murmured and nodded in agreement.
You've got to be fucking kidding me! "Am I going to have to fuck him right in front of you before you catch a hint and go away?"
"Yeah, do it!" yelled a faceless woman from the back.
Goku was as red as a beet now. "Vegeta, what are you doing, we're in public!"
"Shut-up, Kakarot." His wounded pride was, metaphorically, throbbing and bleeding in his mind. How did he lose so much control in his life and over those around him? He bent Goku over the shopping basket, and rubbed his ass through his orange gi.
"Vegeta!" Goku bit his lip at the sensation, and felt at least a dozen eyes burning into his rear end.
He heard the familiar sound of Vegeta unzipping his jeans. He pulled his hard member out from the barriers of underwear and denim, and stroked it slowly so that his slick coated him from root to tip.
Goku looked over his shoulder. "We can't do this here, Vegeta!"
"Hush." He pulled Goku's pants down just beneath his smooth buttocks and pushed a knee between his legs. He spread Goku gently open and probed at his entrance to get it moist.
Goku could only blush and groan helplessly at the women gaping at them in the aisle. None of them were running to tattle on them to security, and they formed a protective enough circle around the grocery cart to keep any innocent bystanders from glancing down the aisle to see him about to get pounded.
Finally, Vegeta pushed himself in slowly. He bent Goku further over and admired his ass. "Fuck, Kakarot," he breathed while rubbing the strong muscles of his backside. Soon he was pumping into Goku, and he grunted softly after each time their skin made contact.
"Hnn," Goku moaned as the Prince angled himself so that he hit that sensitive bundle of nerves inside of him. He panted and clenched his eyes shut. Vegeta started to pull himself out slowly, as if to stop, but just thrust deep into the same spot over and over again. Stars flittered in front of Goku's eyes, and he felt his own hardness press against the basket. All of the eyes on him made him feel a twist of shame and excitement in his chest.
"Are you all taking a hint yet?" Vegeta grunted, staring at his audience. It actually turned him on a bit to see all of the women get hot under the collar in such a public space, especially with Goku making all of those noises…
He reached down and tended to Goku's own aching hardness, stroking in time with his own thrusts. The taller Saiyan felt like the world was spinning, with Vegeta inside and around him, and his Prince was tenderly rubbing his hips in that way that always surprised him. He felt a sudden burst of affection in his heady state, and wanted to tell the Prince he loved him deeply.
As if he heard his thoughts, Vegeta pumped Goku's cock harder until he gasped and spurt between his fingers. "Vegetaaaa," Goku moaned. Vegeta kept pulling on him until he was dry and wobbly on his feet.
"You're beautiful, Kakarot," Vegeta murmured before coming hard. He pressed himself deep inside of Goku's clenching tightness until he saw a white substance dribble down his lover's leg.
"Hot damn," one woman said. Her glasses were fogged up from the performance.
Vegeta pulled out and faced the women before even bothered to put himself back into his pants. He placed his hands on his hips. "Do you all get the picture now?"
"Yes, I think we got the picture quite clearly." A tall man wearing a manager's uniform broke through the crowd of women. Behind him stood the real police.
Vegeta stared up at them, pants still unbuttoned. "Well, shit."
The two were sent to the county jail for indecent exposure. When they got arrested in the store, Vegeta was about to bail but Goku told him the police would just follow them home.
Goku clung to the jail cell bars, tears streaming down his face. "I want to go home!"
"Shut-up, Kakarot." Vegeta was laid out on the cot flush against the cell wall. "And stop crying. You're embarrassing me. If you really wanted to leave you could just blow this place up."
"I'm trying to be good. You were the one who wanted to—you know—" Goku gesticulated wildly. "Right in the middle of the store!"
"You liked it." Vegeta groomed his hands with a nail file, looking smug. "They'll give us our phone call soon enough."
"Son Goku?" A uniformed man walked into the holding cell area.
"Can I please use my phone call?!" Goku blubbered. The man pulled a large ring of keys from his belt buckle and opened the cell door. Vegeta sneered at him as if he was something gross on the bottom of his shoe. Goku ran to the phone in the corner of the room and dialed the keypad in a flurry.
"Bulma? Bulma!" Goku screeched. "You gotta help us!"
"You sure are getting into a lot of trouble today. What can little old me do for you now? And why are you calling from this weird number?"
"Um, well. We're in jail right now."
Vegeta could hear his ex scream over the phone from all the way across the room.
"What the hell did you do!"
"It's kind of a long story, but basically we did something…naughty in the store," he whispered. "I'm really scared. They haven't given us any food all day and I don't think I can last much longer!"
"You moron, we've been in the holding cell for thirty minutes!"
"Anyway," Goku said, dismissing Vegeta with a wave of his hand, "Can you help us get out?"
"Goku, I'm not above the law. I can do a lot, but I can't just get you out of jail."
"Could you bail us out? It's a bit high…"
"God." Goku could already imagine Bulma rubbing her temples over the phone. "I knew I would have to bail someone out of jail in my lifetime. I thought it would be Trunks, though."
"So you'll do it!"
"Yeah, yeah. I'll come on down there now. You two really are something." She hung up the phone.
Goku hummed and started to dial a new number on the phone. The cop standing at his side pressed down on the phone's hook and switch. "What on earth are you doing?"
Goku gave the man his best set of puppy-dog eyes. "I was calling a pizza place."
"No. Just…no." He ushered the Saiyan back into the jail cell.