Realize
"The Inventor was kind of corny—," Ben started.
"Aww, I liked him," Miranda said with a smile. The show was over. They were walking out of the Paramount Theatre after nearly three and a half hours of illusion and wonderment. Miranda grabbed Ben's hand as he opened the umbrella and they stepped out into the rain. She leaned into him, feeling the warmth of his body. She'd had a really good time. They melded into the crowd as they made their way back to the car. They reached Ben's Mercedes and Ben opened the door. Miranda stepped inside. "Thank you." She immediately turned on her phone. Thankfully, she had no missed calls or important messages. "Yeah, the Inventor was good, but the comedy was the best part."
"Yes! I totally agree. That was my favorite part."
"I know! You laughed the entire time," Miranda said smiling at him with her eyes.
"I wasn't the only one," Ben responded. He leaned over and kissed her cheek. Miranda's smiled widened. "Plus, I have so many new jokes now."
Miranda covered her mouth. "Oh no! Please don't." She laughed behind her hand.
"But I like making you laugh," Ben said sincerely. Miranda didn't respond. She just twisted her mouth into a smile. Ben started to pull out of the park and stopped: "Where to, m'lady?" He looked at her, his left eyebrow slightly raised. Miranda wanted to melt. He was so sexy and all she wanted was to kiss him and feel his fingertips on her body. She wondered if he wanted the same things. "Miranda?"
"Huh?"
"Where to?" He asked again. "Do you want to get something to eat?"
"I definitely want to eat, but I don't want to go out to eat."
"We could order," Ben offered as he pulled out of the parking spot.
"Sounds like a plan!" She said way more eagerly than she meant to. She toned it down some and spoke quietly. "Your place?"
Ben shrugged. "Or yours." His voice was just as quiet.
"That rain is just not letting up," Miranda said as they walked into her house. Ben helped her pull off her jacket. His fingers briefly touched the back of her neck sending chills up her spine. She kicked off her boots and watched him take off his leather jacket and put it on the coat rack.
"No, it's not." Ben milled around near the door. Miranda rolled her eyes and pulled him towards the nearest sofa. She sat down and patted the space next to her. "What, uh... what do you want to order?"
They tossed around a few ideas and decided on pizza. Miranda called her favorite spot and placed their order. She got off of the phone and offered Ben some wine. "Or—or beer. There may be a beer in my refrigerator somewhere."
"Wine is fine," he assured her. Miranda stood up and Ben stood up as well, placing a hand on her back.
"Good. I will just go and get us some." Miranda headed towards her kitchen. She moved around the kitchen with nothing on her mind except the fact that it was their 12th date. She didn't know if she wanted to make a move or wait for Ben to make his or if she should just bring up their previous conversation about sex and get his thoughts on it. And why was it so damn hot in this kitchen? Miranda stuck her head inside of the cool refrigerator and took deep breaths. The cold air on her face calmed her down. The thoughts in her head mixed with the soft humming of the refrigerator; she didn't hear Ben come into the kitchen. All she felt were hands on her waist. She jumped and yelled, spinning around and coming face to face with Ben. The refrigerator door closed behind her. "You scared the absolute shit out of me!" She told him hitting his chest.
He chuckled. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." Miranda tried moving from his arms, but he didn't let go. They were quiet. The fridge continued to hum. "It, uh…it finally dawned on me what you said about this being our 12th date." She blinked slowly and looked at him. "I didn't say that to put pressure on you."
"There's no pressure," she told him quickly. Miranda settled her arms around his neck.
"Have you been thinking about it?"
She shook her head. "No."
"Miranda."
"Yes. It has been on my mind all night." She exhaled, finally getting the truth out. They laughed together.
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"I didn't want to seem too fast or too eager."
"I wouldn't think you're fast." She nodded. "We could have talked about it."
Miranda dropped her arms and opened the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of wine. She gestured towards the cabinet for him to get the glasses. They took their wine back to the living room. "So what would we say about it?"
Ben turned towards her. "Sex?" Miranda nodded and took a sip of her wine. She ran a hand through her loose hair and pulled her legs underneath her; their legs touched. She watched him drink the wine. "Well," he said leaning towards her. "It's no secret that I want you."
She swallowed hard. Her phone rang and she thanked God that it did. She put her glass on the table and went to get her phone from her purse. "Food's here." Miranda opened the door and greeted the pizza delivery woman. From behind her, Ben held out three ten dollar bills.
"Keep the change," he said.
"Thanks," the woman responded and Ben closed the door as Miranda took the pizza and their bag of garlic knots to the kitchen. Ben went back to get their glasses and waited for her to sit down before he did. They said a quick grace and started on the food. They didn't speak for a long time, each wrapped in their own thoughts. Miranda worried that she'd made the night awkward mentioning that it was their 12th date and, in theory, bringing up sex. But she was also turned by Ben's admission that he wanted her.
"How's the pizza?" She asked pushing sex from her mind. "Tuck and I love ordering from Fratello's. They have the best Italian food in town."
"It's good. Really good."
"Great." The silence was eating at her. They weren't usually quiet around one another. They could talk for long periods of time and not run out of things to say. She played with the crusts on her plate. "And the wine? Do you… need some ice?"
Ben shook his head and grinned. "I'm not Greek."
Miranda pushed her plate to the middle to the table. "Do you need more?"
"Trying to get me drunk, so you can take advantage of me, Miranda Bailey," he said looking at her. She blushed and opened her mouth to answer. "I'm kidding." He held out his hand. She looked at it and rolled her eyes. "C'mere." Miranda took his hand and walked towards him. Ben pulled her into his lap and closed his arms around her. Miranda turned her body and touched his face. She kissed him deeply, their tongues dancing. Her body was heating up. And she could feel Ben get aroused beneath her. Ben touched her back and her nipples perked up. She pulled away for a second, catching her breath. "You can take advantage of me anytime." Ben laughed, making Miranda break out into a fit of laughter.
She stood up and took his hand leading him back into the living room. She leaned over to kiss him again, still smiling. "I like you," she said suddenly. He nodded. "No, I really, really like you, Ben Warren."
"Trust me; I like you a lot, too. Like a whole lot."
Miranda smiled. "Good." They kissed again. Ben's hand found her ribcage and he moved his hand up and down the side of her body. Her hand dropped into his lap as she accepted another kiss from him. Feeling his body respond to her hand, she moved it away quickly and stared at him. He made an apologetic face and she shook her head. Miranda grabbed her head and groaned.
"What? What?" Ben asked with a smirk. He waited patiently for her to speak again.
"I don't do this! I don't do this! I just—I… I haven't had sex in—what? Two years? Two years." Ben shrugged. "So I kind of feel like a resident when it comes to all of this," she told him pointing between the two of them. She saw him trying to cover a smile. "It's not funny." Miranda shoved him. He grabbed her hand and, in a quick moment, pulled her on top of him. Miranda inhaled sharply. She'd never been on top of him fully. There were only a few pieces of fabric between them. A few pieces of fabric that stopped them from having complete skin to skin contact. Ben's strong arms held her tightly, lifting her shirt a little. His hands on her bare skin soothed her. Goosebumps appeared on her body as he touched her face and gently kissed her. Miranda sat back on the sofa.
Ben sat up as well. He grinned at her. "You may feel like a resident, but, trust me, baby, your body is screaming Attending," he told her continuing her metaphor. Miranda stood up and put out her hand for Ben to take. With a raised eyebrow, Ben took it. Heart pounding, she led him up the stairs to the second floor of her house, where her bedroom was located. "I think this is the first time I've been up here."
"Well, let me give you a quick tour," she said stopping at the first door on the right. "This is Tuck's room." They walked inside and Miranda switched the light on.
"There's so much green!" Ben exclaimed stepping inside of her son's room.
"Yeah, it's kind of his favorite color," Miranda gushed.
"I can see that," Ben said.
"Yeah," Miranda said absentmindedly. She thought back to the first time Tuck and Ben had met. For Miranda, it had been a delicate situation. Ben was the first guy she'd dated since Tucker. And one thing she didn't want to do was parade some random guy in front of her son, one who wasn't going to stick around. Her ongoing divorce with Tucker was also a problem for her son and she didn't want to add on to it by introducing Ben into the equation. So she'd waited. For two months. Her mother thought she should wait for six months, but she knew that Ben wasn't just a guy or someone temporary. And she wasn't naïve. She knew there was a possibility that they wouldn't be together forever, but she didn't like keeping her son in the dark. It had made her feel like her relationship with Ben was wrong. And it wasn't. It was… perfect. He made her happy and while she knew that Tuck would like Ben (and vice versa), she was also anxious about them meeting. She didn't want to rush it. So, one Friday, Miranda had sat Tuck down and told him that she was 'seeing' someone else. Tuck had looked around. "Seeing him where?" He'd asked.
She'd inhaled softly and smiled. "Uh, no. I have a special friend who I want you to meet him."
She didn't know what she'd been expecting, but Tuck just shrugged and said: "Okay."
"That's it?" She'd asked a little confused. Her son was very inquisitive. "You don't have any questions?"
Tuck had thought for a second. "What's his name?"
"Ben. Warren."
"Is he a doctor like you, Mommy?" She'd nodded.
"Is he nice?" Tuck had asked kicking off his shoes.
"Yes, he's very nice. And smart. And funny," she'd told him. She couldn't help but smile.
"Okay," he'd said again and he'd turned his attention back to his video game.
They'd woken up late the next morning and had to hurry to Tuck's basketball game, where she'd told Ben to meet her. By the time she and Tuck had gotten there, Ben was already in the stands holding a drink carrier from Dunkin Donuts with three cups. She'd sat next to him and he'd given her a kiss on the cheek before handing her a cup. "Coffee for you. Light and sweet, just like you," he announced handing her the steaming cup of coffee. It had been just what she needed. Something to wake her up so she could focus on the game.
"Thanks," she'd said. "Who's the third cup for?"
"I bought for Tuck."
"You bought my three-year old a cup of coffee!?"
Ben had looked confused. "No, of course not. Uh, it's a cup of hot chocolate. Kids like hot chocolate." Miranda had sighed deeply and apologized. "You seem nervous."
"You think?"
"You don't think he'll like me?"
"I think he will," she'd said simply.
"Good." Ben had put an arm around Miranda's waist and from their seats, they'd cheered Tuck on. After the game, Ben had touched Miranda lightly before leaving. He was going to meet them at a restaurant that wasn't Tuck's favorite, but one that he liked going to. In the car, Miranda racked her brain for a way to casually bring up Ben.
"Who was sitting to you?" Tuck had asked from the backseat. Bingo!
"That was Ben. Remember I was telling you about Ben? My special friend?"
"Is he your boyfriend?"
Miranda didn't quite know how to play it. She didn't think in a million years that she'd have to introduce her son a boyfriend. She and Tucker were supposed to last—'til death do us part. And they were very much alive when Miranda had found emails from Tucker to a coworker about matters unrelated for accounting. But the moment had arrived. "Yes. How do you know what a boyfriend is?" She'd asked her son.
"Mrs. Rodriguez and her boyfriend read us a story last week." Miranda had nodded. "He drives a motorcycle."
"Is that right?"
"Mmm. Does Ben drive a motorcycle?"
"I don't think so, but you can ask him." They'd pulled up to "Sun Tavern". Tuck had screamed with excitement as Miranda got out of the car and held the car door open for him as he crawled out of the backseat. Over her son's head, she could see Ben pulling into one of the last spaces of a full parking lot. It was almost lunchtime and "Sun Tavern" was a popular place in town. Miranda had put up her hand, signaling to Ben to wait five minutes before coming in. Tuck had bounced into the restaurant with Miranda right on his heels. They sat down. "So, Ben is going to join us for lunch. And you're going to get a chance to meet him and he's really cool. Is that okay?" Miranda held her breath. Tuck was very loyal to his father. And she'd feared that Tuck wouldn't accept Ben because Ben was a new man in her life.
"Yes," Tuck had said simply as the waiter came by with two glasses of water. "We need…," he'd stopped to count. "One more water." He grinned as he held up one finger.
His mother had beamed and the waiter smiled and went to get another glass. Miranda saw Ben come into the restaurant and she'd waved him over. Coming to the table, Ben leaned in for a kiss before Miranda could stop him. She'd blushed and watched Tuck's reaction. Nothing. He still had a smile on his face. "Tuck, I want you to meet Ben. Ben, this is Tuck, my favorite son." Tuck had giggled loudly. He loved when she called him her favorite son.
Ben had reached over and shook Tuck's hand. "Hello, Tuck."
"Hello, Ben. Warren."
Ben looked from Miranda to Tuck. "Hey! You played a great game, sir."
"Thank you," Tuck had said with a wide smile. "I had four points!"
"I know. You are really talented. How old are you?" Miranda had given Ben a quizzical look. He knew how old her son was.
"Three. I am going to be four," Tuck had answered holding up four fingers.
"Wow!" Ben had exclaimed. He felt for Miranda's hand under the table and held on to it.
After a while, Miranda had finally let go of the breath she'd been holding. She was honestly pleased. She sat back and let their conversation continue. Only getting involved in their talk when they needed to ask her questions or wanted to verify something. "Could Tuck go to Ben's house to play with his PlayStation?" "Could Ben come to more games?" "Could Ben come over when they had a Christmas in the fall movie marathon?" "Could Tuck have more ice cream?" Yes, to everything. As they walked out of the restaurant and to the cars, Tuck turned to Ben. "Do you have a motorcycle?"
"I did. Back in Chicago."
"Where is it now?"
"Uhh, it's still in Chicago. My brother uses it."
"Can I ride it?" Tuck had looked from his mother to Ben, pressing his hands together with pleading eyes.
Ben had sucked in air and held up his hand to stop the interjecting Miranda. "Maybe when you get a little older."
"Cool!" Tuck said. He'd given Ben a high-five and then he'd climbed into the car.
"You are amazing!" Miranda had gushed to Ben.
He'd smiled widely at her. "I'm glad we did this," he told her.
"Me, too."
"You turned so red when I kissed your cheek. Like laser red." Ben had laughed loudly using a hand to touch Miranda's waist. "Are we on for tomorrow night?" She'd nodded. Ben looked over her shoulder into the car and had kissed Miranda quickly and softly on the lips and on the cheek. "This is good, right? He likes me. I like him. We're good." Miranda had nodded again.
"Miranda?" Ben's voice said bringing her back to the present and snapping her out of her trance.
"Yeah?"
"Where'd you go?"
"To the first time you and Tuck met."
"That was fun. He's a cool, little dude. And boy can he talk," Ben laughed. "And now..." He stepped behind her and ushered her out of the room and back into the hallway. "I'm wondering what color your room is." She bit her bottom lip as he kissed her neck.
"I can show you." They walked into her room. She didn't bother turning on the light and neither did Ben.
"Beautiful."
"It's dark. You can't see anything," she laughed.
"I'm not talking about the décor." Ben and Miranda sat on the edge of her queen-sized bed. His hand touched her waist. "I'm going to kiss you." Miranda nodded as he put his lips to hers. She moved backwards on the bed and he followed suit. This is happening, she thought. She touched the hem of his black shirt and lifted it up a little. Her hand ran along the muscles of his stomach. He sat up and pulled off his shirt. Miranda sat up, too. She was in awe. It was dark, but the moon provided light through the window. His body was damn near flawless. She wanted to touch every inch of him. He smiled at her. She reached and pulled him in for another kiss. Ben's hands slipped under her shirt and grazed her breasts through her bra. "I want to take this off," he said as he lifting her shirt up and taking it off. He laughed when he saw her tank top. She smiled. "And this one." He took her second shirt off revealing her bra. She thought she would be embarrassed. She thought she would she would be mortified when Ben finally caught of glimpse of her without a shirt on. She thought he would cringe when he saw her, but with the moonlight shining on them, she saw nothing but amazement in his eyes. "That's a sexy bra." He licked his lips and lay down next to her. He kissed her again. "You're gorgeous."
"You're just saying that."
"Don't do that, Miranda."
"Don't do what?"
He gave her a look. "You know what." She didn't answer. "You know you're gorgeous, alright? And I will always think that." He hooked a finger onto one of her belt loops and pulled her closer. He was hard again and Miranda breathed deeply. He climbed on top of her and kissed her chest, slowly working his way down her body. He kissed the tops of her breasts, her nipples through her blue and white striped bra, down the middle of her stomach. In the distance, Miranda could hear the Apollo 440 belting out "Time is Running Out". Her customized ringtone for when the hospital called. Her phone was going off. Ben heard it, too, and dropped his head into her chest and laughed.
"I need to get that," she said with a grin. "That's the hospital." Ben rolled off of her and onto his back. "I'll be back."
"I'll be waiting."
Miranda hopped off of the bed and grabbed her tank top, tugging it on as she raced down the stairs. This call had better be important. She picked up her phone. "Hello?"
"Dr. Bailey?"
"You called my phone didn't you? I'm off this weekend, Yang. And I'm really quite busy, what do you need?"
"It's Meg. Shelley."
"She tested positive for the cancer gene."
"Shoot!" Miranda said taking the phone from her ear to her forehead. "She'll need surgery right away." She thought for a second. "Is The Chief there?"
"No. He left about two hours ago."
"Alright. Um, get her prepped. I'll be there in thirty minutes." Miranda dismissed the call and took a deep breath before trudging up the stairs. She flicked on the light in her room.
"You have to go."
"One of the Shelley kids needs surgery."
"I'm happy that you'll be able to help her, but this is also ruining our night." Ben picked up his shirt and put it on.
She walked towards him and kissed his cheek. "I know, I know." Miranda went to her dresser which was large and covered half of her wall. It also covered a huge, indelible mark that was made when she'd first moved into the house. She pulled out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. "Can you just turn around while I get changed?"
"Sure." Miranda changed her socks quickly. "I like the blue and gray color scheme."
"Thanks. It's soothing." She put the t-shirt on top of the tank top and took off her black jeans. She gasped when she felt him behind her. She blushed. "I don't have on any pants."
"Just the way I like it," he said kissing her back. Miranda turned around to face him and he pushed her against her dresser, lifting her up a little so that she was sitting on top of it. He opened her legs and stood between them. He took her face in his hands and kissed her passionately. Her hands dropped to the pants pulling him closer. His crotch touched hers briefly, sending a shock through her entire body. She pushed him away and got off of the dresser. She turned around and put on her jeans. "I'm… sorry?" He said.
She could see him scratch his head in the mirror. "No, it's not you."
"Then what is it?"
Miranda locked eyes with Ben in the mirror. "I'm afraid for how much I want you."
"Oh, is that all?"
She scoffed. "Yeah."
He hugged her from behind. "You know I want you, too." She nodded. "Good. Now let's go."
"'Let's'?"
"Yes, ma'am. I'll be your anesthesiologist—if that's alright."
"That would be great. Thanks. I could use the company."
They walked down the stairs. "I'll drive."
"Fine. I don't feel like arguing," she told him feigning annoyance.
She locked up the house and they got into Ben's car. He started the car and they left.