Dinner that night was almost festive: a celebration of Victoria Barkley and her family. Emily felt lighter having shared her burden.
Wine was poured for all but the three youngest and glasses were raised in a toast to mother and grandmother and to the importance of family.
Emily kept a discreet eye on Audra who was having an animated discussion with Grace in the chair next to hers. Tom was also chatting with them. Emily assumed they were talking about horses since that was an interest all three had in common. To look at Audra tonight, Emily thought, one would never know.
Jane sat to Emily's right and they talked about the girls. Jane thought it would be fun for Leah and Carrie to spend some time in San Francisco. She wanted to expose them to the culture of the big city, and maybe to the notion of college. Both Carrie and Leah had been to the city before of course but it was always with their families. This would be their first time traveling alone. Emily wasn't completely sold on that idea, though. She thought 14 was too young to ride the train alone.
Vicky and Ellie were planning to go to college. The idea of Carrie going to college had never been discussed and likely not for Leah, either. Carrie, Emily thought, may not be interested. Not yet, anyway. Her inclinations were not academic. Leah, however, was always studying something. The previous summer, she'd found a book in the library of the big house all about botany and the different classifications of plants. Before the summer was over, the girl knew the Latin names for every tree, shrub, and flower that grew wild on the ranch.
Emily turned to her left and, catching Heath's attention, asked what he thought about Leah going to college.
Heath was going to say he didn't see the need for it but checked himself, especially in the presence of Jane and her interest in women's suffrage, and reconsidered.
"If Leah wants to go to college," he said, "then I'm all for it." Suddenly, he thought about his mother after whom he had named his first daughter. And he knew, without a doubt, how very proud she would be of her namesake.
"I don't have to send her now, do I?" he asked teasingly. Jane and Emily laughed.
Vicky and Carrie managed to keep the peace at the children's table despite James and Daniel's best efforts to annoy Julia. Julia did a good job of ignoring them, with Vicky's encouragement, and when she finished her dinner to Vicky's satisfaction, she climbed off her chair and stood close to her father and played with her doll.
Nick looked over at her plate to make sure she'd eaten enough and wrapped his left arm around her while he finished his dinner with his right and continued talking with everyone at the table about plans for the next day. When he was done eating, he pulled her up onto his lap and together they ate a very large piece of German chocolate cake.
There were farm chores to be done in the morning but Nick also wanted to check on the herd. Jarrod said he wanted to ride out to the herd with his brothers but he needed to go to town in the morning to send off some telegrams. He was hoping to delay his return to San Francisco for a few more days. Riding out to the herd was delayed till the afternoon. Audra, too, wanted to go; she hadn't gone riding for months and she wanted to see the ranch again. Grace had gotten a pony, Starbeam, for her twelfth birthday a few weeks before and she wanted to go. And since it was turning into a family outing, James and Daniel were invited, as well. They needed no encouragement.
Sarah suggested she and Jane and the four girls might ride into town for a change of scenery while the others were out with the herd. She needed to pick up a few things and then she thought they could have tea at a hotel. Both of these motives were true but Sarah also wanted to give Emily the gift of a quiet house for an afternoon and maybe the chance for a nap.
After dinner, the children drifted off to their various activities. Tom and Will had originally planned to go to a dance in town but that plan was cancelled in the wake of Victoria's death. Instead, they challenged their father and uncles to a game of pool.
Julia alternated between riding her rocking horse in the billiards room and playing with the doll in the dining room she'd brought to dinner.
The women, Audra included, cleared the table of dishes and platters and wine glasses and brought them into the kitchen. Bertie and Florence had been given the night off after doing so much for the funeral and cooking dinner for so many.
The mood was light and jovial until Jane asked Audra when Charles was expecting her home. They all wanted to know how much time they had to convince Audra not to return to Seattle.
"He's not," said Audra.
Questioning glances were exchanged around the kitchen and Emily said, "He does know you're here, doesn't he?"
"Of course he knows I'm here," Audra answered.
"Did you tell him when you might be back?" asked Sarah.
"No, I just left." Audra was being secretive; she knew it and she knew it wasn't kind or fair. "He didn't want me to come but I left anyway. So, you see, I can manage just fine." Her tone was soft and did not match her defensiveness.
Emily took the chafing dish Audra was holding and asked, "He knows your mother died, doesn't he?"
"Yes, of course he does. He read the telegram," Audra explained, annoyed at the questions.
Sarah sat down at the kitchen table and looked at Audra, trying to understand, "Charles knew your mother had just died and he did not want you to go to the funeral? To be with your family?"
"That's not it at all! You make him out to be a monster and he isn't!" Audra's panic was rising and she wasn't sure why. She made herself calm down a bit and explained, "He's just so – he has a business to run and he didn't feel he could spare me. He needs me to keep house and to be at his side at important social functions."
By now, Jane had also sat down at the table with Sarah. Emily remained standing.
"Audra, honey," Emily said, "My husband also has a business to run." She looked at Audra and could see she was listening. "Eight years ago, I received a telegram informing me that my father was ill and likely dying. The first thing my husband did was make arrangements for the ranch and the children, " she looked at Sarah, who had been so helpful during that time, "so he could accompany me to Ohio."
Audra stood silent, motionless, considering what Emily just said.
"What we're trying to tell you, Audra," Jane said, "Is that marriage is more than doing for your husband, it's a partnership."
"With your best friend," Sarah continued, "who takes care of you as much as you take care of him."
Audra had always considered her brothers' wives to be her friends and it began to dawn on her that indeed these were the only friends she had. She knew she trusted them. As she stood there, she remembered every horrible thing Charles ever said about the friends she tried to make and she wondered if that was because he didn't want her to hear the things she was hearing now.
Soon, all four women were sitting at the table and making good work of emptying the wine bottles brought in from the dining room. There, they played a subtle game of Truth or Dare only without the dares and with Audra the primary player. Audra checked and re-checked her understanding of her marriage as her truths spilled out and her brothers' wives responded:
No, it is not normal to cringe with fear or dread when you hear your husband coming home. No, it is not acceptable for your husband to choose your friends or everything you wear in public. And it is certainly not acceptable for your husband to physically harm you in any way.
Each of the women shared cherished moments and habits of her own husband and marriage. Jarrod, Jane explained, often took care of the house and children when Jane attended suffrage meetings or volunteered with the local aid society. It was his way of showing his support for her pursuit of her own interests. Emily pointed out how she and Nick talked almost every night and that he asked her opinion on certain aspects of the ranch and took her opinions seriously. Sarah, everyone knew, was fully in charge of the household and managed the finances for her family.
Audra knew what her sisters-in-law were trying to do and she argued against them in her head but the arguments grew weaker and weaker. She had the sensation that the foundation on which she had built her life was starting to crumble and it scared her. She also sensed she would never be able to put it back together the way it was.
After noting the absence of wives and sister from the gathering in the billiards room, the brothers enlisted Jarrod to see what they were doing. As he got near the kitchen, Jarrod overheard enough words to know the nature of their discussion. Only Jane saw him approach and shook her head just enough for him to know this was not a good time to interrupt. He backed away unseen by the rest of the group.
Jarrod walked quietly back past the dining room where he caught a glimpse of a small heap under the table. It was Julia, curled up and fast asleep. He got down on his hands and knees, pulled her out, and scooped her up without waking her and carried her to her father.
"They're in the kitchen talking wife talk," he said as he handed the sleeping child to Nick.
"Uh-oh," said Heath, smiling.
Both Nick and Heath had a pretty good guess at the seriousness of the topic being discussed in the kitchen. In the interest of the others present, however, they kept it light-hearted and brief.
Nick carried Julia to her little room but realized she was both fully dressed and asleep, sleeping the deep sleep of small children that grown ups often envy. He made a half-hearted effort to wake her enough to get her out of her dress and into her nightgown but he quickly gave up. This was a detail of childcare he'd never encountered before and he didn't think he needed to start learning it tonight. Or ever. The child slept that night in the dress she'd worn to her grandmother's funeral.
Noises drifting down the hallway from the parlor let the women know their families were retiring to their homes for the night. As they stood to leave Emily said, "Audra, you always have a home here with us."
"And with us," Sarah said.
"And with us," Jane added.
Audra immediately recognized the women's words as the kindest gesture anyone had made to her in a very long time. She wasn't entirely convinced she could or should leave Charles but she was getting there and it showed in her eyes.
As goodnights were being exchanged in the foyer, Heath kissed Audra on the cheek and stopped a moment to say softly, "Think about what Mother would want you to do."
Audra went to sleep that night emotionally exhausted but hopeful in a way she hadn't felt for years.