26. What Am I starting?
'So Your Leaving Again..."
Mikage winced and Tomoe knew the answer. He though his dad said he had done all the prayers for now? Why.. Was he going again? The fox chewed his lip and then looked up at give his father a death glare.
He didn't care if his mask pulled away for at least once. He wanted to know the answer! WHY WAS HE LEAVING!? Tomoe took a deep breath and then ground his sharp kanines.
"Where?" He spat out rather quickly. It had a lot of force behind it and Mikage flinched. He wasn't used to Tomoe acting this way; maybe thats because Tomoe had learned to hold in his pain; but lately..
He had been having problems with that. His father was supposed to be there! The fox bit his lip and stood up slowly. His hair shaded his eyes. What was he supposed to do? Tell his father to not let the door hit him on the way out?
To scream at him for not being there? The fox could already feel the house get cold. His fists continued to dig into his palms and blood dripped on the floor. He winced and Mikage's eyes widened.
"Tomoe be careful!" Mikage screeched and started to clean up the blood off the floor. Then he grabbed Tomoe's hands and shook his head, " Stop that. It will make you scar.."
Tomoe glared at him and yanked his hands away; It wasn't like his father understood anyway. Even if he gave himself scars he wouldn't notice. He would never know...
"Where are you going this time?" Tomoe asked again, his voice shaking heavily.
His father looked at him and he sighed, " I have a meeting in Izumo." He looked at Tomoe and frowned, " Its only for three days. You can take that."
Tomoe's eyes widened at his father's heartless comment. How dare he! He never aske dhim how he felt about his job or how often he left! Tomoe always had to stay home alone with no one around. Even when Nanami was there he felt abandoned.
And No one saw it..
The fox swallowed his sandy breath and looked at his Father. His eyes started to glass over so he turned his back on the man and breathed out slowly. Mikage looked at him confused, his brow furrowed as the fox looked down and swore, " I can take it." He muttered.
Mikage smiled and hugged the fox from behind, " Thanks for understanding!" He giggled as Tomoe just stood there, his hair quarding his eyes so no one saw the strong emotion in his eyes. The emotion he would not let out.. Never again.
His mom would have never done this. He would never be alone if she was still here. Mikage said he would be there; sadly Tomoe had to learn that his own father was a liar. It had been like this for so long that Tomoe didn't even know he could call Mikage his father.
He was always alone; one time he got hurt and Mikage didn't know until a week later when Tomoe was showing Nanami the scar. The fox ground his teeth and tried not to whimper.
If he hurt himself?
Mikage would never notice.
"I have to leave now! If I dont I'll miss the plane!" Mikage screamed in panic. He picked up his breif case and hugged Tomoe tightly, " Don't work your ankle!"
The god rushed out of the kitchen as Tomoe stood there in shock. His eyes glasses over and he tried to breath. Tears welled up and he cursed out. His ears flattened to his head as he screamed. His chest hurt and his tail went limp.
The fox calmed himself down and then limped to the living room. He picked up his cell phone and dialed the school. Mizuki's mom answered and the fox bit his lip. He had to get out this house, at least for tomorrow. He knew it was a stupi dmove because of his foot; but.
"Can I come to school tomorrow?" Tomoe spat out rather quickly.
The line grew quiet and the woman sighed, " I had a call that you were hurt; if you come I want you to sit. No walking. You'll just be observing."
Tomoe nodded, That meant no tests. He smiled lightly. His was kind of happy that Mizuki's mom was the principal. He sighed lightly and then gripped the phone in his hands, " Thats okay with me."
The woman chuckled, She understood that Tomoe didn't like being away from people for to long. He had requested this before, " See You at school."
The fox said goodbye and hung the phone up. He sighed in relief as he slowly stood up. Nanami walked in and looked at him with wide eyes. He wondered if she heard his conversation..
"Your going to school?"
Welp, That answered his question. Tomoe nodded and was usddenly hugged by his over cheerful friend. He moaned in annoyance and shoved her away. She started to giggle, " See you tomorrow!"
He arched his brow as she picked up her moms keys and walked out the door. He wondered where she was off too.. Tomoe swallowed.
It was like no one saw how he felt and maybe that was his fault; but then again. He didn't want anyone t see how he felt. They would pity him and make him feel like a stupid adolescent child. He bit his lip as the house grew cold and chilled him to the bone.
He shivered and limped over to the stairs..
He had to climb like rocky path of life.
Alone..
Tomoe slowly mad ehis way down the hallway of the highschool. He was following the earlier classes today so he didn't really know any of the other students around him. He knew Mizuki took one of the classes sohe knew he could run into him at some point or another.
The fox winced lightly as he stepped on his injured foot in the wrong way. He ground his teeth and then sighed shakily. He needed to think straight. For some reason even the school full of people made him hate himself..
He swallowed and kept walking until the hallway ranout. When it did he turned around and started to walk back. Yep, he was working his ankle when he wasn't supposed to . He sighed out as he looked out the window..
He had to go home to an empty house with no one around. To a cold building with no one there to help him or understand him. He chewed his lip and cursed. For some reason; he felt like no one saw him as he walked down the hall.
He was kitsune, usualy people stopped and stared. Some pointed or made fun of him; but now.. His mother wasn't there to take up for him and his father wasn't there to smile at him and keep him going.
The fox suddenly choked up and swallowed harshly as his throat went dry. He swiped at his eyes and paused. Tomoe blinked and picked up his phone, It was his father. He tried not to feel a little anxious. He answered it.
"Hello?"
"HEY!" Mikage smiled on the other end and then sighed, " The meeting is a week long. Not four days." The line grew quiet until Tomoe heard someone scream for his father on the other end,
"OH! I have to go! Bye Tomoe!" Mikage laughed and hung up before Tomoe could even say anything.
Tomoe clenched the phone harshly and then swore. He shoved it in his pocket and swiped at his eyes again. Crap, He probably looked aweful right now..
The fox turned and went into the school's bathroom. He looked in the mirror and splashed water on his face; trying to recollect himself and not make a fool out of himself. He swallowed and tried to breath.. He noticed that one of the mirror's was broken and he wondered what happened.
He looked down into the running water and then looked back at his reflection. He rolled his violet eyes when he saw his father. He looked liek his mother and father and it was something he was ashamed of for the first time in his life. He hit the mirror and cussed loudly.
His shoulders shook as pain shot through his body. His father didn't care! HE NEVER WOULD!
Tomoe breathed and winced in pain. He started to button up his cuflings on his shirt when he paused. His eyes drifted to the soft skin of his wrists and his eyes widened at the smooth suface. His ears floppe dover and he closed his eyes in confusion.
What was he thinking?
Tomoe shook his head and began to button up his shirt ends with shaky hands, But his eyes trailed back to his wrists.
If he hurt himself..
His dad wouldn't even notice..
The fox looked at the skin and then at his own claws. The same claws that made a demon bleed the other day. He swallowed as his ears flattened in confusion. He lifted his wrists up to his mouth and licked slowly, his heart shaking. Then he held it above the sink and breathed out.
He titled his smooth wirts up towards the light and then lifted his other hand. He angled his claw to the side, like a blade.. Then he quickly closed his eyes as he slit his skin, Cutting himself deeply and letting the red liguid flow from him into the running water.
Words flooding through him but all he could think was, Oh god...
What am I doing? And what.. Am..
I starting?