See Right Through You

Miranda woke up the next morning feeling refreshed. She rolled over, grabbed her phone from the nightstand and checked her messages. One of them was from Tucker reminding her about their son's basketball game that afternoon. She nodded and responded: Of course I'll be there. There were also two emails from Richard. She checked the subject lines, nothing looked too pressing; she'd look at them later. There was also a missed call from her mother. That was fifteen minutes ago. Miranda clicked her phone off and started to toss it to the empty side of her bed when it vibrated in her hand. Good morning beautiful. Miranda started to tap out a response when it vibrated again. What are you doing today? Good morning, handsome. Tuck has a basketball game later on.While she waited for him to answer, she said a quick prayer thanking God for blessing her with an awesome child, a great job and a good man. Her phone buzzed again. Want some company? Before she could stop her fingers, she was already texting him back: Yes.

Miranda got out of bed and stretched. Finishing up, her phone rang. Ben's face flashed across the screen of her smart phone. She cleared her throat and accepted it. "Hello?"

"Yes, hello. Is this Miranda Bailey? Dr. Miranda Bailey." Ben asked in a regal voice.

Miranda smiled widely. "This is she," she answered.

"Good morning, Dr. Bailey. This is Dr. Warren."

"That name doesn't sound familiar."

"The guy you almost had—"

She was glad that he couldn't see her face. "I remember! I remember!"

Ben laughed. "I'm just kidding." Miranda giggled. "So, what time is the game?"

She took the phone from her ear and looked at the time. "In a few hours. At 11:30."

"Cool. I will be there," Ben said.

"Good."

"Hey! How about I come and pick you up in an hour and we stop and get some breakfast before the game?"

"I'd really like that," she said honestly.

"Alright. Be ready in an hour."

"Okay, Ben Warren."

"One hour, Miranda."

"What? If I'm not ready, are you gonna leave me?"

"Maybe," he said laughing. "Sixty minutes."

"I got it! I got it!" She said rushing him off of the phone. The call ended and Miranda hopped into the shower. She usually took a shower after coming from the hospital, but she'd been too tired to take one last night. But now she needed to get rid of the germs that she'd probably picked up and she liked the feeling of the hot water running down her back. It loosened her muscles and soothed her. She grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her body. As she opened the door, steam escaped from her bathroom into her bedroom. She sat down on the edge of her bed and applied some lotion. Glancing at the clock on her nightstand, Miranda saw that she had more than enough time to kill. As she smoothed the lotion up her arms, she imagined that her hand was Ben's, his fingertips on her body. It sent chills up her spine. She would love for him to touch her like that. He would have last night, but they'd been interrupted. She had to admit, she was relieved. The nervousness that she'd felt when they got close, put knots in her stomach; and she couldn't relax. But, thinking about it now, she couldn't wait until he did. And when that time came, it would be… well, it would be epic. Rifling through her dresser, Miranda pulled out a pair of dark blue jeans and a t-shirt that she'd gotten from Tuck's basketball coach, Frankie Randall. Back when Tuck had first started playing for the team, he'd called himself trying to flirt with her. She promptly and politely turned him down. Although she was no longer happily married, she wasn't ready to begin dating anyone. She didn't want to. It was finally a time to concentrate on her son and her career. She'd definitely needed to take advantage of it. After she slipped into a pair of low-top, white Converses, Miranda stood in front of the mirror. She looked cute. Smiling at herself, she heard her phone going off at the same time her doorbell was ringing. Ben. She grabbed her jacket, phone and purse and walked down the stairs. Meeting him at the door, she didn't even bother to welcome him in.

"Good morning."

"It is."

Sensing that he wasn't getting an invite inside of the house, he kissed her on the cheek before asking: "Shall we?" She nodded and they were off.

At breakfast, they talked freely. She never had a problem expressing herself with anyone, but sometimes, with Ben, she found that the words struggled to come out. She would stutter and go off on tangents, losing her point and probably losing him in the process. But he never complained; he just smiled and continued the conversation. He didn't care that she gestured wildly and got excited when talking about her patients; he understood. And she loved to hear him talk. There was something about his voice that made her want to listen to every word and learn everything about him. After they finished eating, Ben paid for breakfast and took her hand as they made their way through the crowded diner. "We still have a little bit of time left before we have to get to the game," Miranda said while they sat in the car.

Ben nodded. "You could kiss me?" He offered.

"Or we can talk."

"That, too." Ben puffed his cheeks out, comically. Miranda reached out and popped them. "Oh! I know what we can do," he said starting the car. He pulled out of the parking lot. Usually Miranda would ask questions. Lots of them. She was one of those people who had to know everything; where she was going, what she was going to do when she got there, who was going to be there, etc. Her parents found it adorable and relieving. They loved how she would give them all of the details before they even asked, saving them from being overbearing parents. However, her incessant questioning drove Tucker crazy. He was a secretive person and hated telling her everything. Once their marriage reached the point of no return, she stopped asking. But she also knew that once she quit questioning him about his days at work and his whereabouts whenever he left the house, they didn't talk anymore. Miranda didn't ask and Tucker didn't offer any answers. And then, she stopped caring. She remembered telling Elizabeth that, too. The lawyer told her that detachment was a reason for the failure of many marriages. Miranda shuddered. Failure. She hated that word. She'd never failed at anything in her life. She wasn't perfect, but she didn't fail. Whenever she started a project, she usually succeeded. But her marriage to Tucker was the first time she'd put her all into something and came up short. It was supposed to be forever. Maybe she should have tried a little harder. She guessed she was a failure. Nope. No, Miranda, she thought. None of that negative self-talk. Why did she have to put in 110% when he was only giving 50%; half-assing everything? Thinking about it made her want to roll her eyes at the whole situation. She focused on the man in front of her. Ben didn't make her feel that way. He liked that she was inquisitive; never minded answering her questions. And because of that, she was learning to pull back—even if it was just a little. Learning to trust the journey that she was on, especially with Ben and make it the best one possible. Because he deserved it and so did she. Deep inside of her thoughts, Miranda didn't feel the car stop, didn't feel Ben looking at her. "What's on your mind?" He asked, pulling her back to reality. She shook her head and looked around. They were in the parking lot of the community center where Tuck played his games. "Wanna go for a walk?" She nodded. It was a nice day outside, the sun was shining on Miranda wherever she stood and it felt great. Ben held out a hand for Miranda to hold as they found a clear path in the park. "So what were you thinking about?" Ben asked slowly. "In the car."

She stopped walking and looked up at him. A young woman dressed in short-shorts and a sports bra moved past them on the trail. Miranda waited for Ben's eyes to follow the woman. That's what she was used to. But he didn't. Ben's eyes were locked on hers. "Just wondering how you would feel about coming over after the game." Miranda spoke confidently.

"To your house?" He asked with a grin on his face.

"Yes, to my house." She smiled. Ben put her hand to his lips, sending a chill down her spine. She put her hand on the back of his neck, pulling him down for a kiss. Feeling his tongue in her mouth nearly sent her over the edge. Miranda pushed her tongue into his mouth and heard him groan deeply. She laughed into his mouth.

He reached down and slapped her butt playfully. "Since you're kissing me like that, I have no choice but to say yes."

Miranda laughed again and checked her watch. "We gotta go!" She exclaimed and pulled him up the hill and towards the entrance for the gym. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Tucker getting out of his truck. For some reason, when she invited Ben to the game, it hadn't crossed her mind that Ben and Tucker would be meeting for only the second time.

Miranda and Tucker had been apart for a while the first time Tucker and Ben met. Tuck had been upstairs gathering toys for a weekend with his father. She and Ben had been watching the news in the living room; his arm lay across her shoulders. Eventually Miranda felt comfortable enough to put her head into his chest. He'd smelled so good that night. Tucker had pressed the doorbell, making Miranda jump out of her skin. She'd accidently hit Ben's stomach making him groan and then laugh. Miranda got up and answered the door. "Hey, Tucker," Miranda said.

"Can I come in?" He'd asked. Miranda moved to the side as Tucker stepped into the house. They were quiet. "How's my boy?"

"He's on his way down. He went to grab a bunch of toys."

"That boy and his toys, I swear," Tucker said shaking her head. Miranda smiled. Tucker had noticed immediately. "I haven't seen that lately."

"What?"

"Your smile." Miranda had scoffed. Sometimes, Tucker was alright.

"Well, besides my son and my career, I didn't have a reason to." Tucker had hung his head. "William George!" She yelled. "Your father's here."

"What's your other reason?" He'd asked as their son came bounding down the stairs. Instead of running straight for his father, he'd made a turn into the living room. "What's in there?"

For some reason, Miranda's heart had sped up. She knew Tucker would find out about Ben. In fact, she knew that Tuck had probably spilled the beans about Ben anyway. "Just ask the question you want to ask, Tucker."

Before Tucker could open his mouth, Ben had walked out of the living room holding Tuck's hand. Miranda had looked over at Tucker. She could tell by the look on his face that he was hurt. "Ben Warren, this is my…," her voice had trailed off. Technically, he was her husband, but they hadn't lived together in a long time. But he wasn't her ex-husband either, although she was no longer in love with him. "This is Tucker Jones. Tucker, Ben." Both men had looked at her. What did they want her to do or say? She'd said enough. Too much if anyone asked her.

"You have to shake Ben's hand, daddy," Tuck said with a smile. Miranda had let go of a breath and smiled as well. Her child had more sense than both of the men in her presence. Tuck came and stood by Miranda as Ben held out his hand and Tucker, reluctantly, accepted it.

"Tuck, go and put your bag in the car, baby," Miranda said to her son. She kissed the top of his head as he moved out of the door.

Ben looked over at her and she'd jerked her head towards the door. She'd hoped that Ben would understand. She wasn't choosing Tucker over Ben, but anything Tucker was going to say, she didn't want him to hear. Before the door could close, Tucker turned to her: "I wondered whose car was in the driveway. Who the hell is this guy, Miranda!?"

"Don't talk to me like that!"

Tucker nodded. "I'm sorry. But who is this clown?"

"He's not a clown. He's my friend—a good friend. Not that it's any of your business."

"It is," Tucker spat back. "Especially since you have him around my child."

"Believe it or not, he's my child, too," she said putting her hands on her hips. "And please don't act like you're the patron saint of doing the right thing."

Tucker's phone buzzed. He ignored it and ran a hand across his face. "So it's really over." She didn't speak, nod or move an inch. She wasn't going to answer him. "And this is who you choose over me?" Miranda licked her lips. "He's who you move on to?"

"You moved on while we were still married, Tucker!" She shouted, losing her cool in the process. "While I was trying to build a home and—and make sure you were okay and that you had everything you needed! And that Tuck was happy!" Tucker opened his mouth. "And working shift after shift at the hospital, you were out, you were cheating. I was there! All alone! By myself!" Miranda tried to swallow, but the lump in her throat was making it difficult. Her voice was raspy. "So don't try to pretend like you're so concerned now."

"Baby, I'm sorry," Tucker had said taking a step towards her. "I'm sorry. For everything. Just… give me one more chance." Tucker picked up her hands. "Please." Miranda shook her hands from his grasp. "Is he the one making you smile?"

"What do you think?"

Tucker had given her an icy stare. "You know what I think?" There used to be a time when his look would make her weak in the knees. She used to crave the feeling she felt when he smiled at her, looked at her or touched her. He'd straightened his six-foot and a half frame, towering over her. If Tucker were a stupid man, she would need a reason to be afraid, but he wasn't; so she wasn't. He may have been an ass, emotionally draining and mentally offensive, but he would never lay a hand on her. Tucker had lowered his eyes. "I think that you'll drive him away—just like you did to me," Tucker answered. The door opened suddenly. Miranda stared at Tucker. She tried to take deep breaths to calm herself down. "Come on, Tuck. Let's go."

Ben had come and stood behind her, not touching her. "You're okay?" He'd asked in her ear. She nodded.

"Bye, Ben. Bye, Mommy!" Tuck had said excitedly, hugging her tightly.

Even with the lump in her throat, she'd managed to get out: "See you later, baby. C-call me if you need me." Miranda kissed his head and took a step away from the door, backing into Ben who slipped an arm around her waist. His touch eased the tension in her body. The door had opened and Tuck walked out with Tucker right behind him. He looked back for a second before leaving.

Ben had turned Miranda around in his arms. "Miranda, what's wrong?" She'd shaken her head again. It was easier to dismiss the question than talking about it at all. "I like to think that I know you." Miranda had looked up him. What was his deal? Why did he always seem to say the right thing at the right moment? "So, let's save some time and tell me what's wrong." They'd moved to the living room. She'd sat down first and Ben sat close to her, their bodies pushed against each other. And with a deep breath, she'd told him everything, tearing up a bit. He hugged her and rubbed her back, soothing it. That was when she knew that she could trust him and tell him anything. Had she pushed Tucker away? Was she going to push Ben away, too? She'd buried her face into her hands, tears hitting her palms. Ben calmed her and told her that he wasn't going anywhere. She'd looked at him. Happiness was right around the corner and she didn't want to screw it up. Before that, she'd been keeping Ben at a distance. It wasn't just to protect her child; she'd also been protecting her heart. She didn't need it torn anymore, but after both conversations, she decided to let go of the past and let Ben in.

"Aye, Mandy!" Tucker asked coming up behind them, his voice booming.

Miranda stopped walking and was suddenly aware of Ben's arm around her waist. "Hello, Tucker," she said trying to sound pleasant. She motioned to Ben. "You remember Ben, right?"

"Right. The Sleep Doctor," Tucker said holding out his hand to Ben.

Ben looked at Miranda before taking it. "Anesthesiologist," Ben responded.

"I'm only kidding, man. Hey, I'm kidding." Tucker flashed a cheesy smile. Ben gave a fake smile of his own. "Miranda, can I talk to you for a second?" Tucker looked at Miranda and then at Ben. "Hey, man—Can you go on in and save us some seats?"

Miranda looked at Ben and saw his eyes narrow. She turned in his direction. "Yeah, you should go in and surprise Tuck. He's going to be so happy you're here," she said. Ben smiled at her at her and glowered at Tucker. He kissed her cheek and walked away. "What do you want, Tucker?" Miranda asked turning back to her soon to be ex-husband.

"This cat is still around?" Miranda rolled her eyes. God, he was so infuriating. Tucker crossed his arms. "Is he your new man?"

"We are dating, yes!" She hissed.

"I thought we agreed—no random people, i.e. no flings around Tuck and that includes his games."

Miranda's breaths quickened. "I thought we vowed to forsake all others," she told him. She could feel her eyes get hot. The last thing she wanted to do was start crying. It was embarrassing, especially about something so trivial. And especially about something she'd already shed more than enough tears about. "Ben is not a fling!" She whisper-shouted. "He's my boyfriend!"

Neither one of them spoke for a long time. She guessed that he was taking it all in. And Miranda took deep breaths. "Do you love him?"

"W-what kind of question is that?"

"A simple one," he scoffed. "I mean, if you don't love him, what are you doing bringing him around my son?"

"Tuck needs to see that I'm happy!" She exclaimed, bringing her hands to her chest. "He needs to see that someone cares about me and appreciates me! And to see that I can be loved!" Miranda's eyes widened, but she didn't dare continue. She'd said too much already.

Tucker clinched his teeth and glared at her. She knew that look. He was furious. But with what? Her being happy? Or someone else loving her? She heard the horn sound for the start of the game and Tucker walked past her and came face to face with Ben. Tucker turned around quickly. "You know what?" Miranda waited. She could take whatever nonsense he was about to spew. "Just…Whatever, Miranda," he said dismissively.

"Miranda? Are you okay?" Ben asked.

"Yes, of course," Miranda sputtered.

"You're sure?" She nodded. "Your face is red and you look upset," he said biting his bottom lip.

She smiled, just for him. "I am fine. I'm-I'm alright." She tried slowing her breaths and fanned her cheeks. She didn't want to look flustered going into the game. "Don't even worry about it."

"If you're worried about it, I'm worried about it," he said softly. Ben put his hand on her hip, calming her down. "I can say something if you want. I don't mind saying something. He shouldn't be talking to you like that. You know what? I'm going to say something." Ben spoke quickly and angrily, making Miranda smile harder.

"Don't say anything. I can handle it." Her answer was firm. She was glad that he backed off. He kissed her forehead. "Let's go ahead in."

Ben changed the subject. "You should have seen Tuck's face when he saw me in the doorway."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Awww."

"Yeah, he like ran over to me and nearly toppled me over. I was like 'woah,' but he was happy."

"He really likes you," Miranda said dreamily. "I really like you, too."

"And I really like you both," Ben said. He held the door open for Miranda who walked through it with a new layer of confidence. She finally got some stuff off her chest to Tucker, saying the things she needed to say. But, she also added more questions to her conscience. Did Ben love her? Did she love him? Thinking about it made her heart pound. She put on a smile, pushing those thoughts to the back of her head, as she watched her son run up and down the court.