Endless Love

In the car she asked: "Why didn't you tell me about Evelyn before?"

"Ahhh," he said rubbing his head. "Because I wanted you to meet her." Miranda nodded. "She means a lot to me, as do you." Ben looked over at her and then quickly turned his attention back to the road. "And Evelyn always gives her opinion on the women I date. I know how Johnny must have felt growing up. She tells me which women to hold on to. She estimates how long each relationship will last. And she's accurate. It's kind of creepy. Which is why I was single." The two of them roared with laughter. Ben pulled into her driveway next to her white Mercedes SUV.

"So how long is this lasting?" Miranda asked as he turned the engine off.

"You know, she didn't say," he told.

"I don't believe you," she said baiting him with a smile.

"You're trying to get me in trouble, aren't you?" She shrugged. She just really wanted to know what the woman had said about her. She and Evelyn seemed to hit it off, but it could have all been a charade. What if Evelyn really didn't like Miranda and "suggested" to Ben that they should part company? Suddenly, Miranda felt setup. She was enticed into going over to Ben's apartment to be interviewed by some random woman all so the woman could say that she wasn't good enough. Miranda was done for the day. She touched the handle of the car. Ben stopped her. He reached across her body, moving at Panther-like speed, and took her hand. "She loves you, alright?" Miranda exhaled. "I told her about you the very first time we worked together." Ben ran a hand over her head, running his fingers down her locks to her cheek. "She knows how I feel about you and wouldn't dare guide me any other way but into your arms."

"What about—what about the other ones?"

"If and when they ever met Evelyn it was in the hallway for five seconds. And it was more like: 'Right! Evelyn, yeah, um, meet this girl that I've been seeing for a few weeks, but haven't mentioned one time in all of our conversations. And she has never told any of them to call her Evelyn." Miranda smiled. "That."

"That what?" She asked confused.

"That smile," he said lowering his eyes, giving a small smile of his own.

"What about it?" She asked putting a hand up to her smile.

"It's so beautiful. Don't cover it."

"Then…"

"It's just that—I would do almost anything to make you smile."

Miranda felt her heart jump and put a hand on her chest. "I'm cold," she lied. She wasn't cold at all. Not even chilly, but being with Ben inside of his car was turning her on more than she could have ever imagined. Every time he touched her, her skin sparked and her heart leapt. She needed a bigger area, more space to move and breathe. She couldn't breathe with him touching her and looking like he wanted to kiss her every second. Or was it her that wanted to kiss him every time she looked at him? His lips were parted and his tongue was slightly visible between his teeth.

"Then we should go inside," Ben said simply, knowing that she wasn't telling the truth.

Moving inside of her house, Miranda hung her jacket up and kicked off her shoes. She ran a hand through her hair, took Ben's hand with her free hand and led him to the living room. She sat down first and he sat as close as he could, their bodies touching in several places. "Ben, it doesn't bother you that I'm still technically married?" Miranda asked taking the rubber band from around her wrist and pulling her hair back into a ponytail. Some of the hairs fell in her face. She could see Ben's hand twitch as he restrained himself from pushing the hairs back. Miranda did it for him, moving slowly and licking her bottom lip at the same time.

His grasp on her hand got a little tighter. "Uhh, at first… at first it did, but like I said, I know where you want to be." Ben closed the gap between them a little more when he put one of Miranda's legs behind him and the other on his lap. "Your ex is a fucking jerk. And, Miranda, I swear if he disrespects you one more time—I'm going to kick his ass." Miranda pulled her lips in trying to hold back a smile. She reached up and touched his face, laughter escaping her lips. He was so steamed and so passionate. All for her. She kissed him as she settled back on the sofa. Ben readjusted his body and landed gently on top of her, his hands on either side of her face. Just a few hours ago they'd been in this exact same position. She'd wanted him then and she wanted him now. The only difference between the two situations was that the only company she was expecting was lying on top of her. Ben's lips on her neck made her moan loudly. He chuckled and continued to kiss her, his free hand rubbing the side of her body, warming her up.

Miranda touched his stomach underneath his t-shirt, rock-hard abs. She bit her bottom lip as Ben moved down to her chest, leaving no place on her body untouched by hand or mouth. He got to the bottom of her shirt and pushed it up, Miranda let out a soft moan. Ben kissed her stomach and the elephants in her stomach stomped around. He made a line up to the bottom of her breasts. "That feels good," she said quietly.

Ben ignored her praise. He took her hands and sat her up a little. He slipped his hands behind her back and underneath her shirt. Then, he unhooked her bra, making Miranda gasp. "Just… tell me if I'm going too fast."

Miranda's mind wasn't working fast enough to know what was too fast or slow, up or down. She could barely relax. Ben laid her down and pushed her loose bra and t-shirt up, revealing her breasts. He looked down at them, his eyes closing momentarily, like he was praying before a feast. Ben leaned down and circled her nipples with his tongue. "OhGod!" Miranda yelled. She grabbed his head as he sucked and brought him up for kiss. When his hands found her waist, her initial reaction was to move them. She used her hands to push them away. Ben quickly put them back and continued to kiss her deeply. His tongue in her mouth made her forget where his hands were. He unbuckled her jeans and slipped a hand in her pants, touching a part of her that was no longer familiar to anyone but her. Miranda held her breath as he swiftly helped her out of her jeans. She helped him out of his shirt and tossed it on the floor. Ben kissed her once more before moving slowly down her body. She held onto his head and stopped him. "W-w-what are you doing?" She asked looking into his brown eyes.

"Trust me," he said winking.

"No."

"You don't trust me?"

"Of course, I trust you, Ben Warren, but—" Ben stopped her excuse by kissing her. Then he looked up at her patiently. Here it was, she could stop him now and she knew he wouldn't mind. He would be a gentleman and he would talk with her as long as she wanted, never bringing up sex. Or she could give herself to him and let him see the side of her that she knew that he wanted to see, her vulnerable and sensual side. Miranda licked her lips. Her heart was pounding so loud, she hoped that he wouldn't think she was having a heart attack. Miranda pulled down her shirt and looked him dead in his eyes: "I am Miranda Bailey. Dr. Miranda Bailey. And I have spent years not only perfecting my craft, but my reputation." Ben nodded and tried to kiss her. She put a hand to his mouth. He twisted his face as she continued: "I want this—Us. What we have and we're… about to do. I want it." She watched a smile spread across his face. "But I also want it to stay between us. People can guess, but they don't have to know."

"Okay," he said seriously.

"Promise me, Miranda demanded.

"I promise," he said looking deep into her eyes.

"There is no going back," she told him quietly, running a finger over his beard.

He nodded again and moved back up until they were face to face. "I don't want to go back," he said with a short laugh. "Being your friend will only suffice if I can be your lover as well." He stroked her hair. They were quiet for a long time. She kissed him occasionally. "Now—and listen to me very closely."

Miranda swallowed. "Okay."

"I'm going to make love to you, Miranda Bailey." Her body popped slightly. "I'm going to give you 100% of who I am and I expect you to do the same. I don't want you to hold back on anything. Not a tear or a kiss. A scratch or a curse." Miranda bit her bottom lip and nodded as her body melted, longing to be touched by her man. "And definitely not a scream or a moan," he whispered into her ear. He kissed her once more and wasted no time moving between her legs. He pulled her panties to the side and with one lick, he made her legs shake and her heart burst.

"Ahhhh! Baby!" Miranda screamed. She put a hand to her mouth to quiet herself down. Ben looked up quickly and removed her hand. "Ben!" She heard him laugh as he continued to suck her body. She stroked his head as he kissed the inside of her thighs. Miranda contorted her body with pleasure, trying to escape his mouth. Ben had a strong hold on her legs and kept licking and playing with her until a wave of relief flowed through her body. "OhmyGod! OhmyGod! OhmyGod!" Miranda called out, hoping that God would forgive her for being so blasphemous. Even after her orgasm, Ben stayed below and planted kisses between her legs. Miranda grabbed his head and pulled him back up. She could taste herself on him. What she thought would be a nasty feeling, was actually erotic and was turning her on so much. She needed him. Briefly her thoughts went back to Tucker. He was not the kind of man who worried about pleasing her unless he was getting something in return. Ben didn't expect anything, but the sound of her gratefully yelling in his ear.

Miranda had waited for him to make his move. And what a move it was. It definitely got her attention. She'd give him that. She wasn't ashamed of the tear falling from her left eye onto her sofa cushion. Ben didn't speak as he wiped it away. She kissed his hand as it moved across her face. Miranda stood up and fixed her panties. Ben laughed and smacked her butt, pulling her down onto his lap. She squealed. "You taste so f—"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence, Ben Warren!" She said in a raspy voice. He laughed again. Miranda got off of his lap and grabbed his hand. She pulled him towards the stairs.

"Wait. I… gotta…," his voice trailed off and he jerked his head towards the front door.

"I have some," she responded as they made their way up to her bedroom.

Neither one of them bothered to turn on the light. Miranda sat on the edge of her bed and slid back. This would be the first time that she'd be having sex on this bed. She'd bought a new one after she sent Tucker the divorce papers. Miranda looked up at Ben who was pulling off his jeans, his muscles rippling with every movement. He took off his boxers, kicking them away. There was an aching pain in Miranda's stomach that had nothing to do with hunger. Wordlessly, he crawled across the bed. "Hey," he said smoothing her hair back. She knew it must look so crazy, but he didn't care and neither did she.

"Hey yourself."

Ben leaned in to kiss her, their lips moving faster than either one could process. He was so fine and he tasted so good. She rubbed his head and deepened the kiss, sticking her tongue further down his throat. She could feel him touch the hem of her shirt, pushing it up. Miranda pushed him away and sat up, pulling off her bra and tossing it on the floor. Ben helped with her t-shirt, taking it off, her breasts spilling out of it. His mouth was gaping open looking at her. Embarrassed, Miranda wrapped her arms around the top of her body. "No, please—don't," he begged touching her arms. His pure honesty shocked her. He was really attracted to her. He made his way to the top of her panties, sliding them down and, soon enough, they, too, were on the floor. Finally, they were both naked, their bodies pressed against each other. Ben kissed her softly. "Are you okay?" He asked in her ear his deep voice running through her body. She managed to nod. "Good. I want you to feel comfortable."

"I'm comfortable." She ran her hands all over his body, she just couldn't hold back anymore; she had to touch him. "And they're in my nightstand." Ben nodded and reached over to get one, putting it on, cupping her butt and sliding into her. His fingers traced over her skin, making her body tingle. He kissed and nibbled on her nipples and neck. "AHHH," she whimpered into his ear. Miranda kissed behind his ear and heard him groan. She'd found a spot and giggled. Ben went deeper, being very deliberate about making love to her. With every stroke, Miranda called out, throwing her head back. She held onto him tightly, her nails scratching the surface of his skin.

"Yes!" He yelled.

"OhmyGod!" She told him. He nodded and flipped them over so that she was on top. "Ben Warren!"

"Just a different perspective," he said with a laugh. His hand ran across her head, pulling the rubber band out of her hair. "I love everything about you." Miranda blushed and kissed his chest, she was finally in control and able to have her way. And that was just the way she liked. She dropped her hands on his chest and ground her body into his, sinking onto him. "Shit! Damn!" Ben yelled.

Feeling his hands on her butt and running up her back made her speed up. "My God!" She called out as she came fast. She dropped onto Ben's body, still moving as he came, too, sending another shock through her body. "Feels so good, baby!" Miranda tried to catch her breath in between kisses. She grabbed the sides of his face and kissed him once more before falling onto the bed next to him. His breaths were quick as well. She didn't speak. Neither did he. For a second, she was reminded of countless times that she and Tucker had been in this situation. Sex with Tucker had always been about the physical relief, never the emotional. She didn't know what to do or say. That soon to be ex-husband of hers never paid any special attention to her body. And since he was the only man she'd ever been with, she didn't know any other way. She thought that's how sex was supposed to be, a chore that could bring a little pleasure. Breathing heavily, she thought about the man lying next to her and what she'd just shared with him. Ben. That connection wasn't just about the sex. It was every time they hugged or kissed. It was proof that there was supposed to be more to a sexual relationship. Desire. Passion. Miranda took a deep breath and felt her eyes swell up. She pulled the covers up to her neck and pushed some sweat into her hair. She tried not to blink as the tears blurred her vision. As long as no one said anything, she would be fine.

"Miranda," Ben said softly. She closed her eyes and the tears fell slowly. "Please don't tell me I was that bad. If you tell me that, my ego will be torn to shreds." A smile escaped her lips. He was so crazy. She felt the bed move as Ben turned on his side to face her. He wiped some of the tears away. "Baby, what's wrong?"

Miranda took another deep breath. "Nothing."

"But you're crying."

"You noticed."

"You're sassy, too. I like that," he said kissing her cheek, letting his lips linger on her face.

"Stop kissing me," Miranda told him with another smile, this one wider.

"Tell me what's wrong." His lips were still attached to her face.

"Nothing's wrong."

"Then tell me—"

"I have…n-never felt like this," she admitted. Miranda turned to Ben. She could barely see him out of the mass of hair covering her face. "I feel so good."

His hands touched her sweaty hair. They stared at each other. Ben moved closer to her, putting a hand under the cover and touching her bare waist. Miranda reached out and touched him, too; feeling for his body in the darkness. "I heard you talking to Tucker," he said suddenly.

"What? When?" She asked running her hand up the side of his body.

"Before Tuck's game. When he asked you if you loved me." Miranda's heart stopped. She felt like she could hear the blood flowing inside of their bodies. That's how quiet it was. She ground her teeth. Even when Tucker wasn't around, he was ruining everything. "I don't know how you feel about me, but—"

She cut him off. "You know how I feel about you, Ben." The General surgeon touched the Anesthesiologist's face.

"But I love you," he continued. "I never said it before because I didn't want to freak you out. I didn't want you to pull away." Miranda licked her lips. "But now I have you in my arms. And even if you pull away, I'll be right here ready to pull you back. I love you, Miranda Bailey." The smile on his face confirmed it all. He loved her. The tears were coming back. She took deep breaths. "It's okay. You don't have to say it back or anything. I told you I was giving 100% and there it is. I love you." Ben leaned in and kissed her. She accepted the kiss before pushing him away.

"Ben Warren…," she started hitting his chest. He winced. Miranda remembered Tucker's words and shook them away quickly. "I don't want to push you away."

"Then don't."

"I've been hurt," Miranda told him, one hand on her chest. "My heart and head are all over the place."

"I want to help you," he spoke quickly.

"When I tell you I love you, I want you to know how much it took for me to say it." Ben nodded moving closer. Miranda reached up and touched his Adam's apple. Any part of him that she got to touch was such a sweet feeling. "And how much of myself I'm giving up if I give you my heart."

"Okay."

The words were on the tip of her tongue. Miranda closed her eyes. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she'd been thinking about it. Loving Ben and making love to him. A commitment like the one they were considering could be disastrous; her failed marriage had already proven it to be true. But it could also be powerful; she could have a love like her parents'. Elena and William had a marriage made up of compromise and sacrifice and strength and pure love. When she opened her eyes, Ben was still looking at her. "I love you, too, Ben Warren."

She thought she saw a tear in his eye. "I knew it," Ben said hugging her, smiling widely.

"You absolutely did not!" She laughed. She tried to push him away, but he held her tightly.

"Yes, I did."

"When?" She challenged.

He rubbed his beard and pulled her closer. Miranda laid her head on his chest. "It was a bunch of stuff. But the first time we kissed. I knew it then. And when you let me talk you into turning your phone off when we went to see The Illusionists. I thought to myself, she trusts me this much, she's gotta love me." Ben lifted her chin and kissed her again.

Miranda sucked her teeth. "Since you know me so well—"

"I do," he interrupted.

"What do I want right now?"

Ben surprised her by pushing her back and climbing on top of her. He leaned down and kissed her lips again, biting her bottom lip. Miranda moaned softly. "Am I right?" He asked kissing the tops of her breasts, making her nipples erect. "Am. I. Right?"

"Nope," she said with a giggle.

"No?" She shook her head. "Then what?"

"Cake." Miranda pushed him off of her. She scrambled off of the bed, taking the sheets with her, leaving a naked and shocked Ben on the bed. She walked out of her bedroom and down the stairs to the kitchen. She heard Ben running behind her. She turned around to see him wearing her favorite silky blue robe. When she wore it, it stopped at her knees. On him, it barely reached his thighs. Miranda laughed loudly. Ben walked up behind her and removed one piece of the sheet from her shoulder. He kissed her shoulder, goose bumps appeared over her entire body. "I am so happy," she said softly and earnestly. And she really was. She'd forgotten the airy and joyous feeling after having great sex. Ben cut a huge slice of cake and grabbed two forks as they settled down at the table. Miranda and Ben clinked their forks together before diving into the dessert.

"How does it feel getting it all out… your feelings about me?"

"Well, when Tucker asked," Miranda licked her fork. "I thought by saying that I did love you, I'd be spiting him. Then, I didn't want to waste that energy trying to make him feel bad."

"You're a good woman. A good person."

"So are you," she responded picking up a forkful of cake and offering it to him.

Ben squinted his eyes at her and ate it, running a tongue over his lips. Back in her bedroom, Miranda and Ben twirled passionately in the bed again. She loved how her body caved with his every touch. Making love to Ben put tears of joy in her eyes. He made her feel safe and his kiss melted her. After their last round, breathing heavily, with her head on his chest, Ben stroked Miranda's head. "Do I make you happy?" He asked. His voice sounded like he thought there was a possibility that she'd say no.

"Yes," she said turning on her side. She felt Ben move behind her.

"I guess that's why you love me."

"I do," she told him, grabbing his arm and putting it close to her heart. "I really do."