28. What Do You Cry Over?

Tomoe stared blankly up at his roof; his eyes showing no emotion or even blinking. He sighed heavily as his body started to sweat in the hot atmosphere. He was wearing a long sleeved shirt and it was in the eighty's.

The fox ground his teeth; it had been five days since he last cut himself. He was giving his wrists a little break. They were healing and now they were just scabs. They were still sore but at least he felt something.

He wasn't numb anymore...

Tomoe breathed out as he pulled himself out of bed and stretched; His father was going to be back in the morning and for some reason he wasn't excited. It wasn't like his father would be staying long anyway. It was probably a , 'How are you doing?' Visit.

The fox winced and looked in the mirror. He got a rag and wiped some sweat off his neck and sighed loudly as he turned off the water faucet. It was hot; but he couldn't show everyone his wrists.

Everytime he did it; He would feel guilty and sick with himself. Then when the pain wore off he did it again. Each time he had to be careful; making sure he didn't cut himself to deeply.

He was trying to hurt himself; not kill himself. This felt like the only way to actually feel something. He swallowed and yawned. It was going to be another long day. He knew it already because Mizuki was coming over.

He was about to pull his hair out as the door bell went off downstairs. Tomoe opened his medicine cabnet and wrapped his wrists up before pulling his sleevs down. If peple saw what he was doing.. They would hate him and walk away.

The foxes ears pinned as he finished and walked down stairs to open the door. He was surprised Nanami had gotten to it before him. Mizuki was hugging the life out of her and then he looked at Tomoe.

He arched his brow when he saw the long sleeves but he shoved it off and smirked.

"Someone is walking straighter."

Tomoe shook his head, " Yeah; My ankle is fine." He grinted teeth as Mizuki started to jab about school. Tomoe hadn't been in a while because of his little discovery; that and his wounds from his fight had to heal.

The kitsune sighed and looked at Nanami. She was giggling and talking to Mizuki.. His eyes trailed to Nanami's choker and he paused. He stared at it before looking away and breathing out slowly.

His stupid hormones... Tomoe looked at Mizuki and noticed he was staring ta him and smirking. The fox rolled his eyes and Nanami ran to get tea.

"Oh, Oh, Oh." Mizuki giggled and ran over to Tomoe. He grabbed Tomoe's wrists and the fox almost hissed out. It didn't hurt like it usualy would but it was still sore and tender from his claw marks.

He hid his pain as Mizuki continued, " Someone was checking Nanami-chan out!" He laughed and poked the foxes arm, The fox gritted his teeth and rolled his eyes.

"Your an idiot. She's my Best Friend; Its not happening!" He swore out; for some reason anger built up in him a little to quickly and Mizui looked at him surprised. He blinked and backed up a bit as Tomoe's hands caught fire and his hands glowed blue with his yokai flames.

"Dude, Whats with you?" The snake asked in confusion.

The fox breathed out and slowly clamed himself down. He shook his head and smirked, " Can't take it? Don't dish it out."

Mikzuki started to laugh at Tomoe's come back and then he sighed out, " To bad Kurama isn't here. He comes up with the good stuff.." He pouted and looked at Tomoe, " Your gonna roast in that shirt.'

Tomoe shrugged his shoulders camly, " I'm cold today." He lied quickly, the words rolled off his tongue in a ribbon of words.

Mizuki gave him a , You got to be kiding me right?' Face. The fox waved him off and turned his back on him.

"Tea?" Tomoe muttered.

Mizuki nodded with a cheery smile, " Hey! Can I see you fan-collect-"

"No." Tomoe glared at him and both boys started to scream at each other. Nanami walked in and shook her head. These two were the ones that fought the most; She sighed. This was going to be a long day.

Nanami slumped back on the door and slid down as Mizuki said his goodbyes; He smiled and waved. The girl sighed and tried to relax but thats when Tomoe started to walk by.

She didn't know why but she grabbed his shirt and stopped him from walking to his room. For some reason he was spending long periods of time in there or the bathroom lately. Plus he wasn't jesting as much as he used to.

It scared her; all these years they had been friends she was always afraid of him becoming distant. Tomoe was the only one who she could talk too.

The fox paused and looked at Nanami in confusion. His eyes showed a small playful jest and her heart seemed to smile. For the last few days he hadn't looked like that. He had been quiet and hadn't even talked once.

She didn't know why; maybe she was bothering him because she was always in the way? She had thought this so she went out with Kei and Ami. Sadly all they could talk about was boys...

Nanami had thought about her Best friend the whole time and it scared her for some reason. She had an uneasy feeling in her gut when it came to him latley. he had been different in the last few days and it made her fearful.

Her Best friend was day-dreaming or blanking out. He didn't say much and a few days ago he spent a lot of time in the bathroom. She had heard water running but it didn't add up in her head.

He looked at her and his ears twitched. His eyes seemed feral until he blinked and she saw the Tomoe she knew. Tomoe sighed and then smiled lightly. He patted her hand as her fingers slipped from his shirt.

Then he grabbed her hand and she found herslef being pulling into the kitchen. Tomoe sat her down as he untied her choker; then he grabbed some medicine and pressed it to her necks tender skin. When he finished he put everything up and turned to leave again.

Nanami caught him by the wrists and her hand sqeezed down. She was surprised when Tomoe yanked his hand away again like a few days ago. He looked like he winced but she wasn't sure.

"Dad will be here tomorrow." Tomoe muttered suddenly. He ran a hand through his hair and then looked at Nanami, " I heard you were going out again."

Nanami looked at him. It wasn't her choice. In fact her mother was dragging her to a medical convention. It was one of those free classes to the public that she didn't understand. She heard it was about self hard and to be truthful the subject made her uncomfortable.

The thought of it scared her and yet she knew it was out there. They were going to be giving out tips for people to use so they could help people who were cutting. She knew that the people did it for a reason; She had met people that said they were crazy but Nanami didn't agree.

People who were hurting and didn't know how to express themselves or they hated themselves.. They hurt themselves so they didn't have to feel the pain of the world. They focused on the pain in their bodies instead of their emotional pain.

Nanami nodded and smiled, " YEP! Medical convention. I don't want to go but mom is forcing me. She says it could do me some good." The girl paused, " You want to come?"

Tomoe's ears twitched and he shook his head quickly; He looked away and breathed out slowly, " No."

The girl froze up. His voice was cruel towards her...

She forced a smile and then stood up; He blinked when she approched him. Her fingers brushed against his ear and his eyes widened. He jerked his head away as his teeth tried to bare.

"You should go." Tomoe ground out, His face tinged pink from embarrassment. This girl didn't know what she was doing; but then again. He didnt have time to deal with this right now. To be truthful..

He didn't want to see his father. Not now..Not after he left. The fox tugged on his sleeves because he had a feeling his father wouldn't see his scars. He blinked and paused.. He wondered if he gave himself fresh cuts..

Would his father see them? He hoped not.. To be truthful he rather this be a secret. He wanted to keep this away from everyone.

Nanami jerked her hand back but nodded slowly. Something was wrong with Tomoe; And Nanami wasn't quiet sure what..

' Self Harm is very common."

Nanami sighed and looked at the talker in front of the medical class. They had arrived late but apparently they didn't miss anything.

The man sighed and looked at the crowd, explaining cutters and why they did what they did. Nanami sat there and day-dreamed. She didn't like listening to things like this and yet; for some reason she found herself listening anyway.

The girl sat still and looked at the speaker, her mind only slowly taking in what he said.

"Clothing can hide injuries inflicted to the body, and inner pain can be covered up by a seemingly calm atittude, self-injury can be hard to detect." The man sighed, " However, there are red flags you can look for." He looked around as People raised there hands. He answered a few questions but Nanami was still. The man already had her intrests.

Why was it that Tomoe long sleeves popped into her mind? She swallowed and her mother nodded as she took notes for her medical research.

The man continued, " People who cut do not want to die. Thats a myth, They're not trying to kill themselves, They're trying to cope with their pain. They usually wear long sleeved shirts and long pants even in hot weather. They usually want to be alone also.." He looked at them and sighed, " They stay in the bathroom and bedroom for long periods of time."

Nanami paused and slowly raised her hand, The man pointed at her hand and the girl swallowed, " What should you look for?" She mouthed out.

The man smiled lightly and nodded towards her for her to come up. Nanami stood and walked forward.

"Okay Miss." He grabbed her hands and held up her wrists, " There could be slits here in these places, " He pointed at her wrists, Arms, Thigh and chest

"These are the places that they target. They can hide it better and it hurts more in those areas. No was for to find out? You could be suspisious of it and not know for a long time; but there is signs. Like Blood soaked tissues or rags. Plus the person could be more irritable."

He shooed her back to her seat and Nanami sat down. She hadn't seen any of those things... Which she hoped was a good thing. She had to think straight; she couldn even think that Tomoe would do something liek that to himself.

She had known him for years and he was the strongest out of all of them; plus he didn't seem to be in pain. The girl swallowed and continued to listen to the presentation.

She just had to think straight...

That was all..

Nanami moaned as she stomped into her house. Her knees hurt and her body was screaming at her to lie down and relax.

But she couldn't.

All the things that the man said was ringing through her mind and telling her to relax. The girl took off her shoes, She was going to the bathroom and then she was going to lay down.

Maybe she could sleep away all the pictures that the man showed or the words. The pictures urned her stomach with pain and her uneasy feeling grew. Long sleeves, Anger..

Nanami breathed out as fear shook her body. She felt anxious, As if something was off. The girl sighed as her mother patted her head and headed to the kitchen to cook something.

The teenage girl smiled slightly at her mothers gesture but her heart was still feeling heavy for some reason. Her stomach was twisting and it scared her. Nanami looked around and noticed that Tomoe wasn't in the living room. Strange..

He was usualy out and about reading.

The girl walked up the stairs and turned down the hallway; she stopped when she noticed that Tomoe's room was light up. She furrowed her brow and started to walk into the foxes bedroom.

He wasn't near his bed but he was in the bathroom. Nanami paused, not sure if it was safe to venture forward; but her stomach told her too..

Especially when she saw bloody tissues on the bed.

The girls heart sped up and her feet started to carry her faster towards the bathroom. She thrust the door open more and stood there just to see a horrifing scene that made her choke up and whimper..

Oh god no..

Tomoe winced as he slit he held some tissue to his arm. The bleeding had finally had stopped but he had to clean up his mess before Nanami and Gwen got home; if they saw this they would leave the house for good.

The fox threw the tissues on his bed and walked into the bathroom. He ran water on his wrists and paused. It burned and yet it felt relieving. It hurt so bad that all his real pain wasn't there. He had to admit he felt a bit dizzy..

Tomoe winced and walked over to the wall where he slid down and relaxed on the cold tile floor. His tail rested on the tile and his skin connected with the cold. It tingled and he sighed loudly.

It felt nice not to have long sleeves on; too bad he had to dress like this when they were gone. If they saw his cuts they would know why... Gwen wasn't stupid.

But she wasn't the one that mattered right at the moment.

The kitsune hugged his knees and whimpered loudly. Tears welled up in his eyes as he tried to comfort himself. Why was it he was still thinking about this? The cutting was supposed to take this away..

He bit his lip as he raised his non-cut arm. The fox looked at his clean skin and he lifted his aching wrist. He slowly slit his other, good wirst; making the blood flow out. It hurt more since he had never cut there before.. Tomoe ground his teeth and started to make another slit when his bathroom door was yanked open.

His claw froze halfway as he looked up; his eyes wide with shock. Tomoe ears flattened at the sight of his Best Friend. Nanami stared at him and their eyes seemed to speak only for a few seconds. The fox looked down at his bloody wirsts and his body froze up.

"What are you doing!?" Nanami whimpered out in shock.

The fox looked at her and suddenly ground his teeth, " Don't look at me! Trun aroudn you idiot!" He swore and clenched his fists. Blood dripped onto the floor and the gilr looked at it. She seemed to go pale and the fox was surprised when Nanami walked in, Slammed the door and stormed over to him.

Tomoe narrowed his eyes as she sat down in front of him; She gently grabbed his wrists and then to his shock she pinned his arms to the wall behind him. Her hot grip brued against his fresh cuts and his eyes grew wide.

He hissed as he noticed his blood smearing all over Nanami's hand. Then his best friend looked at him with tear fille deyes and screamed.

"MOM! GET IN HERE!"

Tomoe hissed and yanked one of his arms away; his eyes turned feral as he turned to pull his other wrist. Nanami was still in shock with him. His cuts were bleeding onto her hand and it soon dripped from her palm. She gripped tighter and the fox literally yelped out in servre pain.

"MOM!" Nanami screamed as she lunged to grab Tomoe's other hand. He looked at her, his eyes hurt and then angry.

"STOP IT! STOP CALLING HER!"

The girl shook her head and looked him in the eyes. His heart froze and his eyes widened as she looked at him,

"I will not leave you. You did leave me so I will not leave you, TOMOE MIKAGE!" She screamed the last part and tightened her grip.

Se wasn't letting go; She had followed her instincts and now she had found Tomoe cutting himself with his own claws. His claws had blood in them and the smell of iron was strong. The water in the sink was running and Nanami saw drips of blood on the floor.

Tomoe had been her friend since she was little. Yes, She was going through her fathers abusive ways but there was somthing that he was going through to. She didn't know how she coudl be so stupid and not see it happening..

Tomoe heard foot steps and he braced himself for another woman to walk into the room. Gwen stepped in and paused, " Yes Nanami? You seemed panicked." Her eyes swept across the room and the phone in her hand slipped to the ground.

"TOMOE!" The woman lunged forward and sat in front of the teen. Nanami let go and he looked at Gwen with uncertainity. She looked at his wrists and she knew right away..

His claws more covered and tissues were on the floor. The faucet was running. This wasn't an accident.. This was something that was planned out.

Tomoe cut himself..

"Can I see?" She whisperd.

Tomeo looked at her and let his wrists fo to her hand. She gently touched it and sighed, " ts not that deep; good." She stood and got a clean wet rag. She wet it and then turned back to the fox, she kneeled down to his sitting position and slwoly rubbed his wrist. she wrung water out on his arm and the fox whimpered loudly.

She cleaned the blood off and then applied pressure. She opened a drawer and found some ace bandage; Gwen kneeled back down and wrapped his wrists gently...

"There.." The mother looked at him and brushed some hair out of his eyes. He stared at her blankly, his eyes void of emotion. Nanami was whimpered behind her; tears pouring down her face.

Her Best friend was hurting himself and he didn't let her know. He didn't come to her before he did this. She looked at Tomoe and Gwen clucked her tongue.

"Lets get something in your system." She smiled and then patted his hand, " Tomoe.. Mikage has to know about this."

The room grew silent and then Nanami saw something she had never seen before. Tomoe cringed and lifted his hands to run through his hair. A loud whimper escaped his mouth and then she heard a wail. It rattled off the walls and her heart.. Tomoe cried harder, his body shaking and screaming in pain. His blood stained shirt said many things.

But it didn't tell Nanami why Tomoe was doing what he was doing. It scared her to see this.. Bu tright now? He was screaming and crying his eyes out. His ears flattened in a pained manner and the girl foudn herself whimpered to.

She had never seen him cry before...

'She didn't know much about Tomoe, and he was her Best friend'

'What else was he crying over?'

A/N : Yes, This was emotional. I cried too because of Tomoe's pain and how Nanami finally sees it leaking through. It will get funny again soon; and romanic! ;) Tomoe has to get past this first and then I will spice the chapters up again.

I wanted you guys to know how bad his pain was, and I have a feeling Mikage might be shocked.

( Because, Lets face it. I'm mad at him too... And I write his personality.. He's not a bad guy. He's just stupid.. I love his character though so don't hate him. )