Split Screen Sadness

Miranda had met the love of her life. Once. In a dream. Even now she remembered it so clearly. The man had no face and no distinguishing physical features. But she'd always remember his voice. It was so soothing. It drew her in and made her want to ask questions just to hear him answer. In the dream, he'd simply said: "I am the love of your life, Miranda Bailey." Miranda had scoffed at him and asked him what his name was. He hadn't answered. She had started to walk away, but he'd grabbed her hand. She'd turned around to face him. "You're with someone now, but I will be there when it's over." Her eyes had popped open and she'd turned over in her bed to tell Tucker about her dream. She was caught off guard by the sight of him putting on his clothes. "W-where are you going?"

"Work, uh, they're—Jenson called us all in."

"On a Sunday Morning?" Miranda had asked sitting up in the bed.

"Yes," he'd replied scratching his head, making Miranda shake her head. He was lying. That was his tell. Whenever he lied, he scratched his head.

"Okay," she'd said calmly. She wasn't going to waste time being angry or upset. Miranda had turned her back to her husband and closed her eyes again. She wanted to fall asleep and dream of the guy who was (apparently) the love of her life.

"Miranda?" She turned in the direction of the voice and licked her lips. She'd fallen back to sleep and found him again. That never happened. The guy with the soothing voice.

"Yeah," she answered, smiling widely, but did not open her eyes.

"I'm going to go home and change my clothes," he said again. She felt a hand on her shoulder.

"You just put on your clothes," she told the voice. "You got called in."

"What?"

She inhaled. She rubbed her eyes and opened them. She was in her bedroom. Not the one she used to share with Tucker, but the one she'd decorated after he'd moved out. So that meant that the voice was—"Ben?"

"Yes, baby?" She turned around and hugged him suddenly, throwing him off balance. "Woah!"

"Uh, sorry about that."

"That is okay. I love morning hugs." Miranda smirked. "Good morning, Miranda."

"Good morning," she answered. "So what were you saying?"

"I'm going home to change clothes. I'll be back later." Miranda pulled the covers up to her neck. She nodded. "Hey." He touched her chin, making her look at him. "I will be back. And I want breakfast on that table when I get back." Miranda sat up and furrowed her brow at him. "I'm kidding," he said quickly. He kissed her cheek. "I'm kidding." She nodded and moved off of the bed and walked with him down the stairs.

He opened the door. "You know I was only kidding about breakfast," he offered touching his chest. He embraced her and kissed her lips.

"Mmmhmm."

"And to make it up to you, I will make breakfast."

"Good." The two of them were quiet. "I, uh, had a great time last night," she said suddenly.

"Are you blowing me off?" He asked, cocking his head to the side.

"No! Of course not!" She exclaimed. "I just wanted you to know that I enjoyed us last night."

"I know. I was there," he responded with a laugh. Miranda gasped dramatically and pushed him out of the door.

"What time is the game?" He called out before he got into his car.

"At noon, I think."

"Same place?"

She shook her head. "This is his traveling team. It's in Bellevue. It's like two games." Ben said that he'd be back as soon as he could and left.

Miranda locked her front door and went back upstairs to her bedroom. It looked almost the same as it did the morning before. The bed was unmade, there were clothes scattered around the room, but the energy in the room was different. She looked at her messy bed; the sheets were hanging off of the side, the comforter was untucked and the pillows were sprawled over the mattress. Usually, she was a stickler for organization, neatness at work and at home. Instead, Miranda just crawled back into the bed. It now had different memories. It was no longer the place where she'd cried because her marriage was over or where she'd gotten drunk the first weekend that Tuck spent away from her with his father. Those were bad. These newer ones were happy and they made her feel good. They involved getting touched by someone she loved and getting kissed in places that she'd forgotten existed. She smiled to herself as her eyes closed. Her phone rang. She leaned over and picked it up. "Hello?"

"Hey," Tucker's voice said.

"Yes?"

"Hey."

"You said that," she reminded him.

"Yeah, are you going to Tuck's basketball game?"

"I was planning on it," she said fluffing her pillow.

"I have a meeting, so I have to miss—"

"Don't…"

"Miranda, this is important," he said sternly. "All…all right?"

"Fine. Bring him home."

"The meeting should be finished right after the first game. I'll try to make it to the second game and pick him up and then drop him off at school on Monday."

"Fine," Miranda repeated. "Anything else?"

"Naw," he responded.

"I guess I'll see you soon."

"Yeah. Bye." Miranda disconnected the call without signing off. She got out of bed and pulled the covers and sheets from her bed. They needed to be washed. She balled them up and took them to her laundry room. Back upstairs, she put on the radio and hopped in the shower. The warm water on her body enhanced her mood. She toweled off as her doorbell rang. Miranda put on her robe and headed down the stairs.

"Mommy!" A small voice called behind the locked door.

"Who is it?" She asked with a laugh.

"It's me, mommy!" Tuck shouted. She heard him giggling like a maniac and her heart melted.

"Who's me?" She asked opening the door. Tuck rushed into her arms. She picked him up and kissed his cheek. "Good morning, sir. Did you have breakfast? How are you?" She put him back on the floor. He shook his head. "Well, if you can wait a while, breakfast will be ready." Tuck nodded. "Go put your stuff away." Tuck hugged his father and scurried up the stairs, dragging his bag behind him.

"I'll be back later, son!" Tucker called out.

"Okay, daddy!" Their son yelled from the top of the stairs.

"Robe's open," Tucker said under his breath. There was a small smirk on his face.

Miranda followed his gaze. A small part of her breasts were showing. Miranda rolled her eyes and tightened her robe. "Thanks," Miranda said. She walked into her living room with Tucker following her. "So, uh, this meeting… what's it about?"

"Just some work stuff. I wouldn't cut into your weekend if it wasn't important. You know that, right?"

"No, I don't," she told him honestly.

Tucker sat down on a sofa and gestured for Miranda to do the same. He turned his body towards her. This was the most time they'd spent alone since she'd started dating Ben. "I might be getting promoted."

"Tha-that's great!" Miranda exclaimed. Even thought she wanted a divorce, Miranda realized that she could still be happy for him.

He blushed. "Yeah, it is. They're voting sometime during the week and—I'm meeting up with one of the executive folks to really get a feel of which way everyone is leaning."

"Tucker, good for you."

"Thanks, Mandy." He moved closer to her. He picked up her hands. Miranda took a deep breath and looked away. "I miss you so much, Miranda."

"I—" Miranda's heart was beating so swiftly. She didn't know what to say. Was there some piece of her that was missing him, too? They'd been together so long, where did all those feelings go? They couldn't have just disappeared. He'd been such a big part of her life, of her growth and development. He was the father of her child. She once thought that he was the love of her life, the guy from her dream. "I think about you every night." Miranda pulled her hands from his grasp and backed away from him. "I want you. And only you. I want you back. I know I fucked up. I know I did and… and… and I'm sorry."

"Tucker…," she started quietly. "You—It's… it's fine."

"I love you."

She disregarded him. "Now. It's fine now. But it wasn't before. You hurt me and while I've forgiven you, I don't trust you," she admitted.

"But I said I was sorry. It was a mistake," he pleaded. Miranda stayed quiet, but instead took a good look at him. His eyes were wild. She noticed that he hadn't shaved in days; hair covered most of his face. All of a sudden, Miranda felt really bad for him. In fact, she pitied him. Her heartbeat returned to its normal rhythm. She could still care about him and maybe even love him again, but she didn't want to be with him. It was that simple. Miranda asked more about the promotion, trying to change the subject. "Do you think about me?" He asked without answering her question. She started to answer. She wanted to tell him that he was no longer the man she thought about. That she'd checked out of their relationship for good. "I know you think about me." She shook her head.

"Excuse me?" His bizarre statement had pulled her out of her thoughts.

"Look around, you're by yourself. Just the way you wanted."

Miranda's blood was boiling. "Wha—where do you get off saying those kinds of things?"

"When you're here all alone, cold and lonely." Miranda tried to take deep breaths. She didn't know if it was Tucker's intention, but he was angering her. He moved closer, their knees touching. "Wondering, wanting my hands on you. Feeling my lips…" Her throat was tightening. She tried closing her eyes. Maybe this wasn't really happening. When she did, she felt Tucker's lips press against hers. During the length of their second-long kiss, Miranda felt nothing. No sparks. No butterflies, nothing. There used to be a time when his look alone could turn her into a pool of adoration. She pushed him away, her hands hitting his hard chest. She stood up and crossed her arms. He moved behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist.

Miranda didn't move. She felt like she was rooted to the spot. "Tucker, you need to go," her voice was strong and her request was valid. Tucker had crossed too many lines and she'd feel more comfortable if he left.

"Why? Because I know you're still in love with me, baby," Tucker whispered into her ear.

"Uh, no, she's not," a voice said cutting through the hard silence. Miranda and Tucker turned around to see Ben with his hands on his hips. Miranda was so happy to see him, her heart was swelling. Ben's face was screwed up and, in addition to looking sexy, he looked mad as hell. His focus was on Tucker. He didn't even look at Miranda. "See, at night, Tucker, Miranda doesn't have to worry about your touch, because my hands do all of the work. She's thinking about me, bruh." Tucker started to speak. Ben cut him off. "You blew it. It's over. Miranda's my woman now."

"Look, man, you don't know what we've been through—"

"You need to go," Ben told him. He took a step into the room, his eyes locked on Tucker. Tucker didn't budge. Ben moved closer to the taller man and lowered his voice so that Miranda had to strain to hear him: "And if you make her feel uncomfortable again, I will promptly kick the shit out of you."

Tucker looked back at Miranda whose eyes were fixated on Ben. He was glaring at Tucker with crazy eyes. She'd never seen this side of Ben. She didn't even know he had an intimidating side. To be honest, she was kind of turned on. Ben winked at her. Tucker shook his head and walked towards the door. "I'll, uh, be back for Tuck later."

Miranda nodded. Her boyfriend walked her soon to be ex-husband to the front door. Miranda sat down on the sofa and ran a hand over her face. She felt a burning feeling behind her eyes. No tears, she thought, putting her face into her hands. She heard the door close. Ben walked into the living room and sat down next to her. He put his arm around her, pulling her into his chest. Miranda sobbed onto his black t-shirt. He rubbed her back, trying to calm her down. "I am s-so sorry."

"Miranda, why are you apologizing?" Ben asked, his voice soft. Miranda sniffled. "He's an asshole, baby." He pushed some hairs behind her ear. "He's jealous and mad at himself because he knows what he lost when he let you go. He lost an amazing and beautiful, talented and sexy woman and he's kicking himself in the ass for it. And while I can't blame him, I also don't feel bad for him." She chuckled into his chest and looked up at him. He was smiling. She pushed Ben's chest. He grabbed her hands and brought her in for a kiss. Her hands went to his face as her tongue begged for entrance into his mouth. She moaned softly and pulled away. Miranda's body melted instantly. She felt that kiss! "How can I? When you obviously got the best end of the deal." Miranda laughed loudly. "And so did I."

She blushed. He said the sweetest things. "Thank you, Ben Warren."

He stood up and pulled her off of the sofa, too. "Now, I'm going into the kitchen to make breakfast, as per our plan." She nodded. "You go upstairs and try to look even more beautiful than you do now, Tuck, you and I will eat and then, we'll head off to game. Sound good?"

"Yes!" Tuck said as he walked up to them. "Hi, Ben!"

"Good morning, buddy." Ben held out his hand and Miranda watched as they shook hands. She walked out of the room and went upstairs.