Tell Your Heart I Love You

Miranda went upstairs to take a shower. It was in the shower that she remembered that Ben had called. Stepping out of bathroom, with the steam following her, she picked up her phone and called him back. "Hello, Miranda," he said smoothly.

She blushed. How in the world was he able to make her blush just by speaking her name? "Hello, Ben Warren."

"I was waiting for you to call."

"I'm calling."

Ben cleared his throat. "Maybe I wasn't clear before, but I'm being clear now. I want you to come over."

"Okay. I will be there in like 30 minutes."

"So… an hour?" He said laughing.

"Goodbye, Ben Warren," she sang rolling her eyes and ending the call. She dried off and quickly applied lotion to her body. She stood in front of her closet, donning a black and purple, chevron-patterned underwear set, and debated what to wear. She could go extra casual with a pair of leggings or sweatpants and a t-shirt or causal with jeans and a blouse or semi-formal with a dress. She would go semi-casual. She pulled out a pair of brown jeans, a white tank top and a forest green-colored sweatshirt that Tuck her given to her as a Christmas present last year. She checked the clock and put on pair of boots. Callie had dogged her into buying them when they'd gone shopping one day. They were white, gold-dusted boots and they were so comfortable. She admired herself in the mirror. She looked good; her clothes accentuated every curve of her body and after pulling her hair into a ponytail made her look and feel younger than what she was. She was ready. She reached into her drawer and pulled out two condoms. Miranda tossed them into her purse. She wasn't expecting anything, but she would not be caught off-guard or unprepared. She headed to her bedroom door, but doubled back and hurried into her bathroom and grabbed the extra toothbrush that she kept in there. Walking down the stairs, her phone rang again. Miranda answered it without looking at the caller.

Ben forwent a greeting. "I was thinking maybe I should just come to you."

"What?"

"I'm a gentleman," he said. "You shouldn't have to come to me, I'll come to you."

"Ben Warren, I have showered, lotioned, dressed and done my hair." He chuckled. "Now my hand is on the knob of my front door and I am ready to go."

"Well, when you put it like that…"

"Good. I'll be there shortly," Miranda said locking up her house. "And I'm hungry."

"I already got you covered."

"So, what's the plan for tonight?" She asked stopping at the stop sign before continuing to Ben's apartment.

"I thought we could eat a little dinner, maybe a movie or a little dancing and cuddle up—you know, the basics."

"That's it?" She asked in a snarky tone.

"Well, I, uh, plan to put my own spin on those great date classics," he answered laughing. Ben stayed on the phone with Miranda until she knocked on his door. "Is that you knocking on my door?"

"Yes," she said hanging up on him. He threw open the door.

Ben stood in the threshold. He was wearing a pair of black jeans and a long-sleeved, denim, button-up shirt. He also had a pair of all-white sneakers. She swallowed; he looked good enough to devour. "Aren't you going to invite me in?" She asked raising an eyebrow.

"Where are my manners?" Ben said holding out a hand to her.

She took it and stepped inside of his apartment. "You look fantastic," he told her spinning her around.

"I'm dressed like I'm going to a rave or something."

"You look great, Miranda."

"You look good, too," she told him.

"What? This old thing?" He said holding out his arms.

She giggled and set her purse on the table near the door. They stood near his door for a while. "So, am I going to get a hug or… or a kiss?" Ben's eyes widened. "Because it was this side of your apartment a couple of hours ago, you had your tongue in my mouth." Her heart leapt as she said it. She hoped that she wasn't coming off too aggressively.

He squinted at her. "Are you saying that you want me to kiss you?" She rolled her eyes and turned to close door. She could feel Ben right behind her. He moved around to face her, putting his arms around her waist. He leaned in and kissed her lips softly. Miranda put her arms around his neck, locking both of her hands together. The kiss was so sweet and sensual; she didn't ever want it to end. They kissed for a long time, not coming up for air. Ben's fingers touched the hem of her sweatshirt and his hands wandered up her back. She felt herself melting into his arms and was only stopped by the loud growling noise coming from her stomach. Her hands went down to her stomach. "I take it you're hungry."

"How'd you know?" She asked. They laughed as Ben ushered her towards the kitchen. "I'm going to wash my hands."

"Don't take too long," Ben said under his breath.

Sitting down at the table, Ben placed a plate in front of her. It was piping hot. She closed her eyes and inhaled. It smelled like—"Steak?" He nodded. "This plate looks great, Ben Warren."

"I remember you telling me that you love steak."

"Uh, that was you," Miranda commented with a smirk on her face. "But, for the record, I do like steak."

"And that you like mashed potatoes and green beans with your steak. So, I, uh, I added some garlic butter to the beans and the potatoes—I made them from scratch. Hope you like it." He winked and sat down across from her. "Grace?" She nodded as Ben took her hands in his and said a short prayer.

The general surgeon practically shoveled the food into her mouth. She'd known that she was hungry, but she didn't know that she had been starving. After a few minutes, she looked up to see Ben staring at her. Now, she was embarrassed and she stopped eating so quickly and slowed down. "It's good, right?" He asked. Miranda shrugged nonchalantly and she put another spoonful of potatoes and beans into her mouth. "I know it's good."

Miranda nearly choked on the food that she was chewing as she giggled. She coughed loudly. "Are you trying to make me choke?!" She said with a laugh.

"Only so I can perform the Heimlich," he said standing up. She waved him off. "More wine?"

"Yes, please." She watched as the anesthesiologist poured more wine into her glass. He set the bottle down next in front of her plate. She looked up at him and smiled. "Thank you."

"Of course," he told her, his voice making her spine shiver. Ben sat back down across from her.

She cleared her throat. "What are we doing after dinner?" Miranda asked putting her fork down and folding her hands under her chin.

"We can watch a movie?" He offered.

Miranda didn't really feel like watching a movie, but there was something that she'd like to do. "What, uh, what was that other thing that you mentioned earlier?"

"Cuddling?" He said raising an eyebrow. Miranda twisted her lips to the side and picked up her glass. She walked towards the doors leading to his balcony. She fidgeted with the lock for a second before she could finally get the doors open. From behind her, she heard soft music playing. From the first few notes, she knew exactly what song it was. She'd heard it so many times. It was one of the most sensual songs ever.

Let me hold you tight if only for one night/ Let me keep you near to ease away your fear

Miranda closed her eyes and allowed the warm night air and the music to envelop her.

I won't tell a soul no one has to know/ if you want to be totally discreet I'll be at your side

She swayed in the ambiance. Suddenly, her wine glass was no longer in her hand and her body was pressed against Ben's. She wondered if he could feel her heart beating through her sweatshirt. Their interlocked hands were between their bodies. Her other hand was just above his elbow and his other hand was on her waist. He pulled her closer. There was virtually no space between them. And that was just the way she wanted it.

Your eyes say things I never hear from you and my knees are shakin too

They moved together effortlessly. She inhaled, breathing him into her. In addition to looking sexy, he smelled great, too. She smiled and looked up at him and then put her head on his chest.

I must be crazy—

"I'm assuming…" Ben's voice said cutting into Luther Vandross' melodic bridge. The man could just flat-out sing. "That this is what you had in mind." Miranda didn't respond.

It would be so nice if only for tonight

"Yes." She looked up again and locked eyes with her boyfriend. He placed both hands on her chin, lifting it gently. "I just came over here for dinner," she told him.

"I know," he said kissing her lips. Miranda let out a moan and touched his waist. She was so tempted to slide her hands under his shirt and touch his bare skin. She was feeling overwhelmed with emotions. She wanted to go slow and savor every moment, but she also wanted to take advantage of the time that they had together. Miranda pulled away. "Everything okay?" She walked to the sofa with Ben on her heels. She sat down and pulled him down as well, telling him what she'd been thinking about. He chuckled. "I am your man, Miranda." Blood rushed to her cheeks, making her face hot. He moved closer to her, touching her waist. "If you want to hold me or touch me or be mad at me, do it." Ben moved in to kiss her cheek, then her chin. "I'm yours. Alright?"

Miranda nodded as the room went silent for a second as the next song came on. "I love this song," she said taking off her boots. "Are we on a Luther kick?"

"No one more romantic," Ben said pulling her onto his lap, her legs straddled him. She gasped. She could feel him getting harder underneath her. Miranda breathed slowly. They were face to face. Ben lifted his hands to touch her hair. He stopped and grinned: "Can I?"

"Only if you promise that you won't do too much damage. It took a minute to do and it looks really nice," she said pulling her sweatshirt up a little.

"You're beautiful. And it looks great, but, uh, I can't promise that," he responded with a straight face. "Do me a favor, just shift your body a little—OhmyGod!" He exclaimed, rolling his head back.

She moved from his lap quickly. "Are you all right, did I hurt you?" She asked going into doctor mode.

"No, actually, it felt really good."

She blushed again as Ben pulled her back onto his lap and she moved her body to the exact place it'd been before. "How's that?" She asked into his ear. He groaned lowly and took a deep breath. Miranda kissed him, her chest hitting his. Ben ran his hands through her hair and she could feel her ponytail loosen.

"I am about to explode," he confessed sheepishly. She started to get up again. "But… don't move!" His command was fierce, so she waited. "Let's change the subject."

"Fine. Great," she said kissing him again.

"How, um, er, how was dinner?"

"Fine. Great," she repeated putting her hands on his chest.

"And your meeting?"

"Fine, Great." She reached up his shirt and touched his back.

"Miranda…"

"Benjamin."

"What do you want?" He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in for a wet kiss.

"That. Among other things." Miranda lifted herself from his lap and moved her hands to the button of her jeans. She watched Ben lick his lips, arousing her more than ever. "Your bedroom is that way, isn't it?" She asked, pointing.

"Y-yeah," he sputtered. "That's where I keep it."

Miranda's expression didn't change. She took a step away from the sofa and started to unbutton her pants. Ben put his arms around her, touching her stomach, fingering her stretch marks. He pulled at her sweatshirt, tugging it over her head, dropping it in the hallway. In his bedroom, he didn't bother flicking on the light. He didn't close the door either. And even though there was no one else in the apartment, the feeling that someone could possibly walk in on them turned her on. Miranda sat on the edge of the bed. Ben stood between her legs. Her hands went to his belt buckle. She looked up to see him looking down at her in amazement. He stroked her head again. She pushed his black jeans down to his knees. She exhaled deeply. "Fair warning…I'm not a pro at this."

Ben pulled up his jeans without buckling them and sat down next to her. "Baby, I'm just following your lead," he said with a little laugh. "Whatever you want to do is fine with me."

"I've only… a few times before, with Tucker, and I was never sure if he liked it or not because he never said anything, so I stopped doing it unless I was on my—but right now, I'm just yammering on because I'm so nervous—I…" Miranda stopped talking and turned to Ben.

He touched her shoulder. "Miranda. It's fine. I'd be content with your head on my chest while we watch a movie. Oo! 'Runaway Bride'.

She smiled. "Wait! So, you'd rather watch a movie than make love to me?" Her stomach fluttered.

"Eh, I feel like if I cop to either, you'd think I was lying." Her smiled turned into a laugh. "Ohh! Am I learning the language of Miranda?"

"Sounds like it. It's such a difficult language. Beautiful, but difficult. Keep trying," she told him moving backwards on the bed.

"I plan to," he answered following her. Both doctors lie on their backs. "So 'Runaway Bride'?"

Miranda laughed and turned to face him. He looked at her and pulled her into his chest, moving in to kiss her. The kiss fueled her again, making her want him. With one more kiss, she made a trail with her mouth, kissing his body through his shirt. Ben mumbled something and she put a finger to his lips, quieting him. If he said anything else, she'd lose her nerve. She moved down his body, pushing his jeans down for the second time that night. He helped her move his boxers out of the way. Miranda looked up at him and bit the corner of her lip as she concentrated on satisfying Ben. She slid her hands over his throbbing organ. Her mouth followed her hands adding to the pleasure. He ran fingers through her hair, playing with it. Miranda sped up. "Mmmhm…Okay, okay!" He groaned. "Now! I need you right now!" She looked up to see him gesturing wildly. With one teasing lick below his waist, she crawled back up his body.

She tried to avoid eye contact. He saw what she was doing and called her out on it. "So, you're just not going to look at me anymore?" He asked wrapping his arms around her body. She didn't answer. "Miranda, it was amazing, okay?" He pushed some hair behind her ear. "You felt so amazing. Please believe me." She nodded. "Alright?"

"Yeah."

"Good." Ben grabbed her face and kissed her passionately. He pulled up Miranda's tank top revealing her bra. "Damn, girl! That's sexy as hell."

Miranda giggled. "I just threw this on."

"And I'm just gonna throw it over there," Ben said unhooking her bra and tossing it to the floor. He switched their positions, his body pressing against hers. She lifted his shirt. He sat up and took it off showing her his body. Miranda reached up and touched his stomach. She found herself unable to control the urge to touch him. He removed his boxers and jeans, making him completely naked. She bit her bottom lip and stared at him. There was nothing she wanted more at the moment than to make love to him. He slipped his hands into her jeans making her shiver. Ben kissed her stomach, nibbling around her bellybutton. He licked a trail up to her chest. Miranda rubbed his head as he sucked her breasts, his hand wandering below her waist. "You're ready?" He whispered in her ear.

He kissed her neck, she whined: "Y-yes!"

"Nice. Take off your pants." She climbed under the covers and pulled off her jeans and panties. Her naked body felt a little awkward on his bed. Ben pulled a condom from the desk near his bed. He put it on the pillow near her head as he settled next to her. He turned to Miranda and put a hand on her waist. He stroked a line up and down the side of her body.

"What are you waiting for?" Miranda asked. Her body was throbbing. This is what she'd been waiting for since the last time they'd rolled out of the bed together. And she wanted it. Badly.

Ben picked up the condom and put it on. He moved on top of her and caressed her face, giving her another kiss as he eased himself into her. Miranda closed her eyes as her body jumped. That was a feeling she'd never get used to. The sensation of the first penetration during a sex session. "Ahhh," she whimpered softly. She grabbed his back and held onto him as he went deeper. Miranda wrapped her legs around his body, crossing her ankles. She never wanted to let him go, never wanted to disconnect their bodies. Ben groaned in her ear. She kissed his chest. He pulled out of her completely and reinserted himself. The pleasure was too much to bear; Miranda scratched a line down Ben's back.

"Fuck!" He yelled.

"Sorry, baby," she said hastily.

"Don't be," he responded. Ben ground his body into hers, licking circles around her nipples, sucking on them, bringing Miranda to her climax.

"Jesus! Oh my God! Please!" She begged. Her toes curled and her body tightened. She was breathing so hard.

"Mmhmm."

"Yes, baby!" She said taking her hands off of him for the first time in a long time. "Yes, Ben!" Miranda grabbed her hair and pushed it back.

"Look at me, Miranda!" Hearing him say her name made her hips leave the bed.

Her eyes found his. He smiled as Miranda felt his hand between her legs. "BEN!" Miranda orgasmed, pulling on her boyfriend and kissing him all over, tasting the sweat that covered his body.

Ben gave her a long and hard kiss as he came. "Shit, baby," he said into her mouth as he shook a little. She ran a hand through her damp hair as he moved in and out of her slowly, kissing her softly. He fell onto his back. She stared at his ceiling. Miranda was starting to breathe normally.

Miranda felt the bed move. He picked up her hand and pulled her on top of him, her legs on either side of him. "Woah!" She squealed. She hit his chest, leaning down and putting her lips on his chest. Ben held up another condom and wiggled his eyebrows. She nodded with a wide grin. He slipped it on, running a hand over her butt. Miranda shuddered. He lifted her a little and she slid onto him, gritting her teeth. She found him so attractive that it didn't take long for her to get turned on again. The general surgeon rocked her body on top of the anesthesiologist's. He sat up and put both arms around her, squeezing her, making her melt into his sbody. She kissed the spaces between his head and his shoulders, climbing his body to reach her climax once again. Ben bit her skin gently making her moan. She threw her head back and he kissed her neck. Miranda rubbed his head, shifting her body, moving her hips as they both came at the same time, wordlessly. Silently. Her heart was beating swiftly and she took deep breaths to calm it down. Ben continued to hold her as they sat still. Her toes finally uncurled, his grip on her unloosened, she took her nails out of his back, Miranda kissed him softly; she was on such a high. Ecstasy. That's what she felt in this moment. Miranda was never one to do drugs, she didn't even start drinking until she got to college, but she'd been high before. There had been times in the OR when she'd felt such a rush that her heart skipped even after surgery was over. Or when she saw happiness on her child's face. That was a feeling that gave her joy like nothing else. And now. Being so physically and emotionally connected to another person in a way that could only be comparable to someone being elevated on illegal substances. Ben caressed her face, bringing her back to reality, she shivered.

"Cold?" He asked looking deep into her eyes. She nodded and fell back onto the bed.

They were both quiet, lost in their own musings. Miranda's thoughts were so loud. She could hear her own voice in her head reading her thoughts aloud. Could Ben hear them, too? There were so many things she wanted to say. Did she start with how great the sex was? Or about loving him? Tell him that she was glad that she was glad that they were together? And while she didn't want to rush into anything, she was committed to him and hoped he felt the same way. She opened her mouth to tell him everything: "Ben, I—" She stopped talking. He turned to her with a raised eyebrow and smiled. She watched his chest rise and fall. It still didn't feel real yet. She looked into his smiling face again. "I always have a great time with you, Ben Warren," she said, her voice nearly hoarse from all her screaming. She blushed.

Ben chuckled. "I do, too, Miranda." She blushed again. "One of my greatest pleasures is when we're connecting on this level."

She turned on her side, signaling that she wanted him to hug her. He understood her silent request and rolled behind her, wrapping an arm around her. He kissed the back of her neck. "Baby?"

"Yes, handsome," she said, smiling.

"You know I'm in love with you, right?" Her heart moved quickly as she thought of a response. He continued. "You're gorgeous and I'm a lucky man. I'm honestly thankful for every day that I get to spend with you." He placed soft kisses behind her ear while he waited for her to speak.

"I might... be… inlovewithyoutoo," she said rushing the words out. Miranda didn't have to turn around to hear the smile on Ben's face. She knew it was there, she could feel it.

"I'm sorry, I don't think I heard that."

She bit the bullet and turned to face him. "I'm in love with you, Ben Warren." He kissed her lips softly. "And about the other night."

"Yeah? What about it?"

"When I said I was 'just thinking'. And you said 'about what'. Then, I said that I would tell you later."

"I remember." He said taking her hand in his, locking them, their palms kissing. "Ready to tell me?" He inched closer to her.

She closed her eyes. "I don't… I didn't feel like I would ever be happy with another man again. I took the pain and the hurt from my marriage with Tucker and used it to build this barrier around my heart. I didn't know…" Miranda took a deep breath and opened her eyes. Ben was looking back at her, his face warm and inviting, listening to every word she was saying. "I didn't know that it was slowly eating me inside." He called her name. She put her hand to his mouth. "I'm not saying that you changed all of that," she said with a small laugh. "But I don't feel any self-doubt when I'm around you. Or any fear. I've found in our time together that I can love someone and be loved in the same way without being afraid or—or without any insecurities." Now she was finished. Revealing something so deep and personal about herself wasn't Miranda's usual style, but having Ben be on the other end of her confession was something different. It had been a difficult road with Tucker, but having a newfound love on the other end of the journey was a great reward. And she wouldn't repeat the mistakes of her past and she would forgive herself and continue to be happy. Honestly, Miranda didn't know how long her relationship with Ben would last, they were just beginning. But he accepted her flaws and adored every part of her. And she was glad to have found a love like his.