The sun was setting on another long day at the golf range. Happy Gilmore was already the best golfer in the world, but he wanted to be more than the best, a living legend the likes of which had never seen. He spent every day out there, trying to hit the ball further and further. He had no where else to be, his love Julie left him for a sexy anchor man in a burgundy suit.
"It's not good enough!" Happy yelled, "When aliens come to earth to challenge me in golf, I'm just gonna embarrass myself with this lousy swing."
Happy was ready to turn in for the day, when he decided to give it one more swing. He set the ball down on the tee, took a couple steps back, and ran at the ball as hard as he could.
"AHHHHH." He hit this ball further than any ball he had ever hit before.
The ball traveled so quickly that it burst into flames, and punctured a hole in reality.
"…That's probably fine." As Happy said that, a supple gentleman fell through the wormhole, and landed on the range about 50 yards out.
"Oh I wonder if that guy's okay," Happy said. The man wasn't moving, so Happy decided to hit a few balls at him.
Eventually, a golf ball hit the man on the head, he awoke.
"Hey what the hell?!" He yelled.
"Hey what do you mean what the hell? What the hell to you pal? You can't just go falling out of other people's skies like that."
The mystery man approached Happy, he bore a familiar face, his face.
"…Who are you?" Happy asked.
"I'm Billy Madison, soon to be college graduate, and son of Brian Madison, the guy who owns all Fortune 500 hotels in the world. Who are you?"
"I'm Happy, I'm a golfer."
"Why do we have faces that are the same?"
"I don't care man I'm ready to kick your ass for stealing my looks."
"How do you know you didn't steal my looks," Billy said.
"Take a gander at your surroundings my friend," Happy said, "you're in my world, which means you stole my looks!"
"How'd I even get here?"
"Easy, I hit a golf ball faster than the speed of reality… And this is the reward I get, a less handsome, less successful version of myself."
"Why you!" Billy leapt onto Happy, the two wrestled it out on the range. They slapped each other around until Billy exhausted himself. "Look, this isn't helping either of us."
"It will when I kick you're ass with my ass!" Happy yelled.
"Stop!" Billy yelled. "I don't want to be here, send me back with your magic balls."
"…Fine, if it'll get you outa here." Happy set up another ball on the tee, the sun finally disappeared behind the thick layer of trees on the horizon. "Stand over there," Happy pointed in front of the tee.
"…Sure!" Billy said, eager to get back to his dimension, or time, or, whatever who gives a shit.
Happy took a running start as always, and pounded the ball. He missed Billy by a solid two feet.
"Shit, one second." Happy lined up more golf balls and continued to try and hit Billy. He missed every shot, until one finally made contact. Billy fell to the floor in pain, but he was still here.
"…Well on the bright side, now you've got three down there." Happy said, he looked out onto the course. Every single ball he just hit had opened another wormhole. Several men were walking towards them, all resembling a face similar to Happy and Billy.
"Okay what the actual hell." Billy said, still on the ground, "Who are these guys?" One at a time, they answered.
"I'm Jack, and this is my twin sister Jill." Jill waved flirtatiously.
"I'm Sam Brenner, video game enthusiast and savior from a retro alien attack."
"I'm Leonard Feder, but my friends call me Lenny. I'm a grown up."
"I'm Danny Maccabee, and I've got to get back to my beautiful girl who's way out of my league."
"Hey you're also with someone way to beautiful for you? So am I," Billy said.
"So am I," Sam said.
"So was I," Happy said. "I'm so confused, why do we all look the same?"
Just then, a flash of light appeared, and from it emerged a man with the same face as the group on the golf range, in a white robe and socks with sandals.
"Don't fear my children," The man in white said.
"Who are you?!" Happy yelled, "What's happening?"
"I am your creator, Adam Sandler. I brought you all here for a very specific reason…"
"Wait, what did you mean when you said our creator?" Sam asked.
"I'm a very famous actor for some reason, as I have been for some time, you are some of my most successful characters. I brought you all here to meet each other. And to…"
"Wait," Billy said, "So we are all you? And you are all of us?"
"We are one and the same," Adam Sandler said.
"This is insane," Adam Sandler said.
"You can say that again," Adam Sandler said.
"So what do we do now?" Adam Sandler asked.
"I brought us all here for one reason and one reason only, Adam Sandler Orgy."
*Careless Whisper starts playing*
And thus, like many actors made famous in the 90s trying to make themselves relevant today, Adam Sandler fucked himself.
The End