"So Riley, family day is on Sunday. If you have lost track of the days, that's in two days"
"Is my family coming?" Riley tried to show a hopeful smile, but she didn't want to see them. She didn't want their pity or to talk about all of her bullshit feelings but she had to stick to her guns. Get in, get out.
"If you'd like them to, I can get in touch with them. But I have to warn you it will probably be an emotional experience, they will want to know why you did these things. They will ask questions you might not want to answer or don't have answers to. If you aren't ready, it can wait." Dr. Gallagher said.
Her and Max would definitely have to work on what she would say, how she would cry like they'd expect. Riley remembered Max's advice that family time is a good thing. "I'd love that, I miss them."
Riley was getting better at lying.
"Max, I have no idea how, I'll do this. I can fool the doctors because they don't know me as well as they think but my family knew me pretty well before all of this. They'll expect me to be that person again"
"Matthews, I think you're overreacting, they don't expect you to be back to normal. Eat your lunch, you look even thinner since you've gotten here, that isn't good."
"Sinclair, this food still tastes like shit, that isn't my fault."
Max threw Riley his infamous smile. "I think you need to de-stress."
Riley smiled back.
The two of them made their way out of lunch and had time to themselves. They had their own rooms but nurses could walk in at any time so they opted for the closet again. Max didn't care if they get caught he was in no rush to leave the hospital but he didn't want to jeopardize Riley's chances of getting out fast. This is where they'd usually go to the common room and hang out but this was of more interest to both of them.
They looked to make sure no one was in the hall before Max opened the closet door for Riley and walked in behind her. Max wasted no time grabbing her face in his hands and kissing her powerfully. His hands went up her shirt and he went to take if off.
"Wait," Riley pulled face away and Max pulled his hands from out under her shirt. "Before you do that you should be reminded that I still have a lot of cuts on my arms."
Max looked at her with a sense of sincerity "I'm not squeamish but I don't want to do anything that would make you uncomfortable."
"I'm not uncomfortable I just wanted to warn you." Riley then took initiative and took her own shirt off. Max studied her. She was even smaller than he imagined. He could see the small outline of her ribs, the cuts on her arms, most healing, some scarring. He noticed her hipbones slightly sticking out. She started to realize he was gazing at her.
Max wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close to him. Riley slid her hands around Max's waist and under his elastic band and pushed his pants down. Max did the same to her, it was so much easier considering they wore sweatpants all the time.
He picked her up again. It was better that way, neither of them wanted to lay on a closet floor and she was under 100 lbs. by now.
He started right away because they wouldn't be alone for long, the hospital was pretty bad when it came down to it but they would eventually notice if two teenagers were missing.
He was trying not to hurt her.
"Harder" Riley demanded.
And that's when it dawned upon Max that she wanted this pain. He complied but he had almost felt bad about doing it.
Riley was being all but slammed against that closet wall while Max buried his head into her neck. Just when the two of them were about to reach their threshold, the janitor walked in.
"What the hell!" The janitor boomed.
Max was using his body to shield a butt naked Riley.
Max pleaded with the man. "Please, sir. Can we talk this out? I can help you but I need to make sure she isn't caught in the crossfire."
The janitor looked over to Riley who was scrambling to get her clothes back on. "Go."
Before she walked out she mouthed thank you to Max who just gave her a sincere smile in return.
She ran back to the common room and waited anxiously for Max. He was nowhere to be found and she couldn't keep Dr. Gallagher waiting any longer so she went to her appointment.
"Hello Riley, I have good news for you!"
"What is it, Dr. Gallagher?"
"Your family is coming on Sunday, we have your mom dad and your cousin Maya registered to come visit you."
Riley feigned a smile; it didn't shock her that they would sneak Maya in like that. She was family after all; Riley wondered what Maya was doing without her. She then wondered about Lucas, Farkle and even Zay. Did they make up an excuse for her?
"That's great, I'm excited to see them."
"Well what happens is you guys meet in the common room and you have an hour with them there and if you are up to it, I'd like to have a therapy session with them."
Riley started to get nervous and asked Dr. Gallagher, "What would happen in that therapy session?"
"We would talk to your family, explain what's happening scientifically. We would discuss what happened that afternoon when your family found out about your disorder, and about your future and how they should … treat the situation."
"What does that mean?" There was a hint of annoyance in Riley's voice but she wouldn't let him get her mad, she had her life to get back to.
Dr. Gallagher watched his words carefully "There are things that trigger depressed patients, it's best to avoid them, if possible. Like no joking about suicide or anything insensitive like that."
"Ohhh, I get it." Riley tried to act like that answer sufficed, but it made her even more mad.
Between what just happened with Dr. Gallagher and what happened with the janitor, Riley really needed a release.
At dinner that night Riley sat waiting for Max to come. Obviously she didn't want to get him into trouble but then he walked in. An award winning smile on his face and a bounce in his step, Riley let out a breathe that had been caught in her throat since that janitor caught them. He slid onto the bench next to her
"Oh hey Matthews, fancy seeing you here."
"MAX, what happened?" Riley took his hand and put the pills in, but he noticed how long her hand lingered.
"I found myself a new best friend, he isn't going to tell on either of us." Max popped the pills into his mouth.
"What did you have to do?" Riley questioned
"Oh, relax, I handled it. When my family comes on Sunday, we will have worked this out. You will be involved in nothing."
"Your family is coming?" Max hasn't said much about them but he peaked Riley's curiosity.
Max said, "Yeah, the doctor basically ordered that I see them again it's been 3 weeks. We have my mom, dad, Ben and Pen."
"Pen?" Riley asked confusedly.
"Sorry, I forgot you didn't know about them. I have 2 younger siblings, they're twins. They are 14 and their names are Benjamin and Penelope. Ben is an amazing athlete; he has college offers already for lacrosse. My parents forget about Penelope but my god, she is the best artist I've ever seen. We go galleries and I sit there and think Penelope's work should be in here not this garbage."
Sometime in talking about his sister, Max had the largest grin Riley's seen yet.
"That's so cute." Riley said.
Max blushed, noticing how he was being a doting older brother.
"I'm sorry, I get carried away. She's like my best friend."
"I wish I had a sister." Riley thought of Maya and that stung.
"Do you have any brothers or are you the only one?"
"I have a little brother, he's only 7 but he's fun too. I also have an uncle who is like an older brother to me, he's only 18 though, the surprise baby. Now that I think about it, I might have also been a surprise baby. My parents were 21 when they had me."
"Tell me about them, your family." Max expressed real interest in what Riley had to say.
"Auggie, my younger brother is a cute little thing. I wonder what they told him, he's still so innocent so I'm sure they made something up. Josh, my uncle, has always been around. He looks up to my dad, there's also a little thing between him and my best friend Maya. Maya is like family. Oddly enough, she's also an amazing artist too, My Maya Penelope Hart. She used to basically live at my house until she got a boyfriend. She spent less time around and began to stop coming, they are sneaking her in on Sunday saying she's my cousin. My mom and dad are best friends and really good parents. I have a good family."
It hurt to think about how good her life was and yet she wanted no part of it. She loved them even if she hated herself. Sometimes thinking about them would stop her thoughts because of how much it would hurt them but it didn't work anymore. Nothing made her stop feeling the way she did, even Max's attention.
"This Maya, do you think anything about her not being around set you off?"
Riley had thought about it a lot. "It could have been a factor or other things she did, but I wouldn't blame her. There's something wrong with me."
"Isn't there something wrong with us all?
Hey guys, I probably should have said this earlier but I don't think anyone should be hurting themselves or god forbid anything else, talk to someone, please. I will probably write about the family visit next. Let me know what you're thinking, any suggestions would be cool too, thanks guys!