"Riles!" Maya shrieked as she ran towards Riley.
Riley held out her arms for Maya to run in to, "Hi peaches." Riley smiled.
Maya hugged Riley with all her might until she realized how slight Riley was and she backed away not to hurt her. Riley's parents weren't far behind, of course they were the first people there.
Riley saw her mother first, her eyes like rockets set on Riley. Topanga wasn't as fierce as she usually was, maybe it was missing Riley or this place in general but Topanga had been off since she found out about Riley. Riley held out her arms for her mother who immediately noticed Riley's weight.
"Oh my gosh Riley, good thing I snuck in brownies." Topanga started but then smothered Riley in a hug.
"Hi mom, give me those brownies right now."
Riley really wasn't starving herself the food just sucked.
Then Riley turned to Cory, she hadn't said a word to him since before he saw her crying in Maya's arms. Riley didn't want to do it but she had to, so before they could say anything she pulled him into a hug, the longest out of the three. It was meant to show that there were no hard feelings even though there were, she was furious with him still and wanted nothing to do with him.
They all sat down at a table Topanga and Riley on side and Cory and Maya on the other side. Topanga grabbed Riley's hand and slipped the brownie in. Slyly Riley ate every bit of it.
Riley started "I'm sorry for what I put you guys through. I've had a lot of time to think in here and I know I hurt you but I didn't mean to and I will do whatever it takes to mend my relationships with all of you because you're the most important people in my life." Just like she had practiced with Max in the utility closet. Her stomach churned after that, almost like that lie physically hurt her but in that moment Max walked into the room leading his family. She looked up to him as an encouragement to keep going; Maya and Topanga noticed their moment, Cory did not. It became easier knowing that she can go to Max after this all and tell him the truth.
Topanga was the first to answer her "Riley you are the most important person to us, we want you to feel safe enough to talk to us. We want to understand and help you, but the doctor said we would get into it more so when we had a therapy session. How are you in here?"
Riley explained her daily routine "We have group and individual sessions, we just started music therapy the other day. I don't understand how it's supposed to help but it calms me. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, each worse than the next. I want real food again, I think Dr. Gallagher thinks I'm starving myself in some last attempt to harm myself. That brownie was heaven sent. They give us time in the common room too."
Maya asked, "Have you made any friends?" she nodded her head back towards Max and his family. They were a group of very beautiful people, Max looked like his dad, and the twins looked more like their mother. Max sat at the table so he was facing Riley, he smiled. An innocent smile but it made her heart race. Everyone around them noticed their second moment.
But Riley wouldn't tell her family she lost her virginity to that boy over there in a utility closet. "I talk to a few people but no one could even come close to replacing my Maya."
"Hi Dr. Gallagher, this is my mom Topanga, my cousin Maya and my dad Cory."
"Hello, I'm Dr. Gallagher, Riley's individual psychiatrist. Nice to meet you all." He shook hands with them all and everyone sat down. "I want to help you all be comfortable and most importantly we want to help Riley, she is making great progress. As I've said on the phone, we diagnosed her with major depression. She has been on a mix of anti depressants and an anti anxiety medication. She has calmed down and feelings aren't as severe anymore. Now logically we won't keep her here until they all stop because that takes too long but if everything goes good today and the rest of the week, Riley should be home sometime next week."
That hit Riley. She wanted to be able to cut again, but was there more than that for her outside of these walls? Was she ready for her parents constant watch on her or Maya always asking her if she was ok, was she in all that much of a rush anymore? Her lack of pain was making her antsy, she wanted her blade or Max right now but now she had to get through this session.
"Riley, are you alright? You're shaking." Topanga grabbed her hand and took her out of her thoughts, Riley flinched on accident but then grabbed her mother's hand as an apology.
"Sorry, just a bit nervous. But that's awesome I want to be in my own bed again." Then her thoughts ran away again, imaging herself in her bed except this time, Max was there. The thought freaked her out. He was her delight in this hospital but what about when she left?
Dr. Gallagher started, "That's okay Riley, we predict this sort of thing. In a very basic explanation, Riley has a chemical imbalance in her brain that causes her to feel sad. It was not anything anyone said or did that caused her depression. That being said, we have her on those medications to balance her neurotransmitters. I want to go over what happened that afternoon you all found out about Riley hurting herself. I've heard Riley explain it but how about you Maya, from what I hear you were the first to find out."
Maya was visibly nervous to talk about it but she did because she thought she was helping Riley. Riley didn't want to relive it. "Well, Riley was standoffish in school and not talking to us as much. I didn't spend as much time with her and I guess I didn't notice how she was dropping weight, smiling less, sleeping less. But then I asked Lucas if he thought anything was wrong with her once I started to notice."
Dr. Gallagher intruded "Now who is Lucas?"
Maya looked over to Riley, Maya was shocked she never mentioned Lucas, "Lucas is Maya's boyfriend." Riley glared back after informing Dr. Gallagher. She was mad Maya didn't fully notice Riley's problem on her own.
Maya started back up "Lucas said he didn't really notice but that I should check up on her to be safe, so I did. After school that day I went over to the Matthews and climbed through Riley's window like I always do. She was sitting in her bay window. She wasn't the Riley I knew, she looked like someone took away her sunshine."
Maya started to cry and Cory put his hand on her shoulder. Riley was furious at this point where if she doesn't scream at Maya, she will start crying. She takes Lucas and now her father won't talk to her but is helping Maya talk about her mental break. She didn't even notice that Riley was dead inside but Lucas did? Riley looked down at the ground until her anger took over and tears started to fall. She was sure the doctor was loving this.
"I asked her what was wrong and she was avoiding me so I grabbed her wrist before she walked away and she flinched and I put it together that she was cutting herself. She didn't deny it."
Maya was sobbing at this point. Riley hadn't seen her like this before that afternoon, not even when she talked about her father. Riley was now mad at Maya and felt bad for her at the same time, Max wasn't kidding when he said that there would be emotions she didn't even know about.
"There were so many cuts, I didn't know what could hurt her so much that cutting herself would make it better, it broke my heart, it still does. I'm scared she will fool you like she fooled us."
Riley had to interject before Maya blew her cover, "Peaches, he told you it was all science and as long as I'm taking my medication, I'll be okay. I won't feel that way, I don't feel that way!"
"Riles, I'm not convinced how can science explain how someone feels like that." There goes Maya thinking like an artist, science wouldn't cover it.
Dr. Gallagher budged in, "There is more than science, you're right Maya but that's something we will cover once you're done telling us the story."
Maya started back up again, "Riley didn't want me to tell anyone, and then she told me why she did it, because she was broken." Topanga eyes were clearly watering; she squeezed Riley's hand. "I asked her how long she was doing it and she said that she didn't want to be alive anymore."
Dr. Gallagher looked at the bunch of them, Riley looking at the ground crying, Maya sobbing into her hands while Cory rubbed her back and Topanga looked at Riley with tears burning into her eyes. "Riley how long have you been having suicidal thoughts?"
Riley defended herself, "I was never to the point where I would kill myself but it's like if a car were about to hit me… I don't know if I'd jump away."
"Mrs. Matthews, could you please tell us what happened from there on out?"
"We ran into Riley's room after we heard, what we presume was Riley falling to the floor in Maya's arms, we watched them and Riley said she didn't want to be alive anymore. I said her name and she saw that we were there, she ran for her window. Not to jump out, there's a balcony and a fire escape but Maya grabbed her before she could leave. Cory ran out and broke something and I ran after him to get him to calm down for Riley's sake."
Dr. Gallagher interjected, "Cory, why did you break something?"
Cory finally said something, "I was mad."
"Well, why were you mad?"
"Because she is selfish." Riley kept her head down, crying harder but staying quiet. She knew her mother was furious and she didn't want to be the reason her parents divorced. She didn't want to cause a fight.
"Do you realize, Mr. Matthews, that she has a disorder? She clearly has no intent to hurt anyone else but herself. Riley, how do you feel about this accusation from your father?"
"I think he has merit in saying that but it wasn't intentional, I just don't want to fight." That felt like the first fully truthful thing Riley had said in weeks.
"Even now, Mr. Matthews, she doesn't want to fight, don't you see any progress in her?" Dr. Gallagher said.
"She isn't the same girl who I raised." Riley finally looked over to her father who was in a dead stare aimed at Dr. Gallagher and Maya was looking to Riley, both girls were defeated at this point but Maya tried to reason with him.
"Cory, please. She will be if you give her time, help her." She was careful to keep her cover that he was her uncle. But then it started to dawn on Maya, she was almost replacing Riley in Cory's mind. She went over the Matthews even though Riley wasn't there, ate breakfast with them and asked about if they heard anything. Cory was always a father figure in her life but she was never once his daughter, until he thought he didn't have one anymore. "Riley, please show your dad you're still in there."
"I think I am, somewhere. You have to give me time, it took me a long time to lose myself and it will take me a long time to find myself but I will I promise!"
Dr. Gallagher said, "Riley, you have to do this for you, not your father, you realize that?"
"Of course, Dr. Gallagher, but these are the most important people to me. They shaped who I am and if they aren't happy neither am I. I love them but I want them to understand it will take time, I'm getting better, I'm not there yet."
"Mr. Matthews if you are not going to help Riley, I think it's best if you wait outside."
"I was thinking the same thing," he said. And with that Cory left. Riley faced Dr. Gallagher and Maya faced the door, and Topanga was mad, mad like Riley had never ever seen her mother.
Riley squeezed her mother's hand and smiled at her. "Give him time mom, I messed up a lot of things with my disorder but they will sort themselves out. I don't want you guys to fight, Auggie is still at home. Does he know where I am…" Riley had barely thought about Auggie, she didn't want him to know she was crazy, he was still so little.
"He thinks you're in Philadelphia with grandma and grandpa." Topanga ignored whatever else Riley had said.
"Mrs. Matthews, do you feel as if home is a safe place for Riley right now?" Dr. Gallagher asked.
"It will be, doctor, once Cory leaves."
So Topanga is gonna kick out Cory, let me know what you think will happen or what you think in general. Hope you guys like it!