Max roamed the halls, he would have guessed it was midnight by the looks out of the one window at the end of the desolate hall. But his new friend, the janitor told him that if he was interested, the night nurses and the night janitor's loyalty could also be bought, so that's what he did. He bought them out. Peaking in each room, he knew which hall Riley was in but he needed to make sure she was ok. He knew what Riley thought about their relationship, but Max was starting to think something else of it.
Finally he peaked into Riley's room. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, shaking, vomit all over the floor. Max rushed in as soon as he saw that.
"Riley, what happened?"
Riley began to sob, and Max climbed onto her bed, avoiding the vomit. Max held her as she cried and then looked at the floor, there were pills in her vomit.
He pulled her face to look at him, "What did you take?"
"Max, I'm sorry I kept a pill each time I gave the two to you. I took them all right now."
"I'm not mad that you kept them from me! Matthews, I don't want you to die!"
Max hopped off the bed and draped Riley's arm around his neck and put his arm around her waist as he took her into the boy's bathroom. It was late and no one would be in here.
"Riley, I'm sorry," with that he stuck his fingers down her throat to make her vomit up the rest of the pills into the toilet.
While she threw up, Max got up quickly. "Wait here for just a second."
Max ran to the night janitor, "Hey, I'm Max."
The nighttime janitor said "Oh you're Max, I'm Greg, what can I do for you?"
"You see that open door down there? There's kind of a mess in there if you would be so kind as to clean it up. I'd really appreciate it."
"Of course boss," Greg answered. Max could get used to that.
Max sprinted back to Riley who was still sitting on the floor, he held her hair back with one hand and rubbed her back with the other. "I know you're already so small to begin with but you are not going to overdose while I'm here." He stuck his fingers down her throat again. She threw up all she possibly could.
"Riley, can you hear me? You're all sweaty, do you want to shower?"
"I don't think I can even stand on my own right now."
"I can help you, completely platonically of course."
"Can you… please?"
"You got it, Matthews."
Max picked her up, draped her arm over his shoulder again and started the water. He took off her shirt and then her pajama pants, and went to put her under the water.
"Max, I don't want to be in a wet bra and underwear. It's not like you haven't seen it before."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I don't care. But you better take off your shirt, you might get wet." Riley sounded tipsy when she talked because she still had pills in her system, she didn't even know what they were.
Max took off his shirt and threw it off to the side. Riley had never seen him shirtless; she hoped she would remember it. Max then took off Riley's bra and then grabbed her hips to take off her underwear. She was shaking, he didn't know if she was cold or the pills.
When he got her underwear to the ground and she was to step put, she started to fall on top of Max but he caught her, she wasn't doing very good. She was so tiny and barely eating, Max doubted Riley had ever taken pills before but he didn't know. He was her friend and didn't want to get her in trouble so he did his best to get her better.
"Riley, do you want to get your hair wet?"
"No, I have a hairband in my pants pocket I think."
Max leaned her against the wall, got the hair band and put her hair in a bun on top of her head.
"Ok, let's do this Matthews." She was still having trouble standing on her own but Max was doing his best to help her. Luckily they had one of those detachable shower heads so that made it easier but she was frequently grabbing him for support and got him soaked. He didn't care.
"Riley, I forgot a towel, can you sit down and I'll run and grab one." She obeyed and sat down on the cold tiles with his help lowering her.
Max showed back up with a towel and wrapped her up in it. He was rubbing the towel over her attempting to warm her up. He looked at her and gave a smile.
"I'd kiss you but I was throwing up like 15 minutes ago."
Max took her face in his hands and kissed her forehead. "Speaking of that lets do what we can about that"
He stood up and held out his hands for her grab, he pulled her up, dressed her and brought her to the sink.
"Finger out" Max commanded. Riley stuck out her finger and Max put toothpaste on it, "Brush."
Max stood behind her and held her hips and they looked at each other through the mirror. "You probably won't remember this Riley, but I want you to live, I wish you'd know that."
"But what if I don't want to live, Max…"
"Well then we will have to find you a reason to live, if I am not enough of a reason, what about Auggie is it?" Max smiled. He had to literally hold Riley up as her knees went weak.
"Can we pick up this conversation tomorrow, I can't even stand on my own."
"Yeah let's get you into bed."
Max picked up his shirt and brought Riley into her clean room and put her into her bed, tucked her and kissed her on the forehead.
"Max, can you stay …"
"Of course, Matthews." He hopped up on her desk
"Are you kidding me? You thought that was what I meant?"
"I didn't want to be presumptuous, are you sure?"
"Yes." Riley patted behind her so that Max would be the big spoon. He climbed over her and cuddled her shaking body. She turned and burrowed her head into his chest and immediately fell asleep. He didn't. The sound of her breathing was something Max worshipped at this point, he had been through people getting too drunk, overdosing but none had worried him as much as Riley.
He didn't even know Riley, how old was she, where does she live, what was she into, did she have a boyfriend? He looked down at her. They were in a psych ward, could there even be anything between them? Max knew he was conflicted, he wanted Riley to do what she wants because happy seems out of the question but he also wants her around in his arms like she was right now. His thoughts finally drifted off and he was asleep.
"Kid, are you Max? Wake up," it was the nighttime nurse. "I'm about to be off shift and if you haven't paid those nurses I suggest you get back to your room."
"Thank you so much, mam." Max climbed back over Riley carefully not to wake her, he looked down to make sure she was breathing. She was.
Max slithered back into his room and into his bed.
The day shift janitor saw Max as he got out of his individual session. "Hey," he called for Max and signaled that he come over. "Your brother pulled through for us, I gave the other janitor and night nurses their share and I got what you wanted, don't be stupid." The janitor looked out for other people and handed Max a very sharp blade.
"Thanks man, I really appreciate what you guys are doing for me, I won't forget it." Max slipped the blade into his pocket.
Would he still give Riley the blade after last night, he knew she did what she did as a release but what if she used it to kill herself, Max would never be able to live with himself.
At dinner that night "Can you come to my room tonight, please?" Riley grabbed Max's hand and put three pills in this time, purposely holding his hand until he answered her.
"Yes, don't skip dinner, please eat something"
"I'll take this but I am gonna nap until then, wake me up whenever you can come, I'll do my best to explain myself and thank you." Riley picked up her apple and went back to her room.
Max crept his head in her room, a much better sight this time. An apple core on her desk and there she was was. Riley was so peaceful cuddled up in her bed. He wanted her to stay like that, warm, unbothered her own thoughts, and peaceful. He knelt by her bed and gently woke her up. "Riley, it's Max."
She slowly opened her eyes and smiled at him. "I'm so sorry about yesterday, I never wanted to put you in that position and I'm really happy you were there, from what I can remember at least."
"Why did you do that Riley? You might be able to fool me like you fool them but I hope you know that I'm here for you, and it wouldn't help anything if you lied to me." Max's eyes were soft and iridescent even in the dark.
Riley couldn't lie to him, he saw Riley at her most vulnerable point in her life. She was stripped, falling over, crying, and throwing up and yet here Max was, at her side and wants to help her. She sat up and patted her bed for him to sit, she turned to him and sat Indian style. "If I tell you, you won't go running, will you?"
"Never"
Riley started telling Max, "I can try to explain how I feel or why I feel that way. I can tell you that I feel like I'm drowning, or that I feel dead inside. I can tell you I hate myself and expect others to do the same. And that my thoughts kill me more than my blade does. My mind is screaming at me, you aren't good enough, no one will care if you die so just do it. I didn't listen until yesterday, that's when I wanted to take the matter into my own hands. I wanted to kill myself, I tried to kill myself."
"Riley, I know I'm just some kid in a psych ward you met but I know you're worth keeping alive. I may not know your favorite color, or what your best memory ever was but I want to know. I want you to be here to tell me, everything about you. I want to help you. I'm not asking you to change, I just want you, alive."
"I don't know if that's what I want anymore, to be alive…"
"I'm going to be selfish, I want that. I want you alive and I will keep saying it until you get it. Fuck all the people who ever made you feel this way –"
Riley interrupted "I made myself feel this way."
"Well then fuck you Riley's mind, you're being a dick." Riley finally laughed she was never crying but she looked devastated. "I don't know much, I won't tell you everything will be okay because I don't know that it will be. Just don't leave."
Riley grabbed Max's face in her hands and looked into his eyes, truly looking. Not just the stunning blue in his eyes but seeing the hurt in them, how they were bloodshot from lack of sleep and how they were glossy because there were tears in them. He was really beautiful, his face, his soul, all of it. She kissed him, slow and innocent, pulling back she looked again, a glimpse of happiness went over his face and into his eyes.
Max turned his body so that his legs weren't hanging off the side and he sat Indian style facing her. He placed his hands on her thighs and she climbed into his lap and put her arms around his neck, he held her hips as she kissed him. Not quick and rushed like they had been before, they had time but Max wanted Riley to know she was more than a quickie in a janitor's closet and this was the best he could do.
He took the hem of her shirt and lifted it over her head. She took off his shirt and leaned into him further until he was about to lie down on the bed. He moved his legs and he was laying on bottom while she had her hands on the bed, holding herself over him, her legs on each side of him. Max leaned up towards her mouth, loving the way she kissed, how soft her lips were, it was romantic unlike the fast pace rough sex they were used to. He moved his arm behind her back and flipped her so that she was underneath him.
As he hovered his body over her he kissed her neck remembering how crazy it made her. He lifted himself one hand on the bed holding himself up, the other hand ran through his hair to push it out of his face. "You're really beautiful Riley, in case you didn't know." Before she could be coy and say stop or no I'm not, Max's mouth was on hers. He carefully trailed his hands and took off her clothes. She followed his lead and was gentler than usual.
The two of them were now totally stripped, emotionally, physically, naked. "You sure?"
"Wait a second," Riley positioned herself back on top "you always do the work, now I am."
Riley grinded on Max for a few seconds before the real part. She was slow because she had never done the work, Max always fucked her against a wall. There was a comfortable silence between them until muffled groans filled the room and they reached their height.
Riley lifted herself off of Max and he moved over and held out his arms out for her to burrow herself into. There was a newfound connection between them, their mouths, their bodies, their hearts?
"Max, don't leave."
"Never, Matthews."
Had Riley fallen for the boy in the psych ward?
So that's all for now, let me know what you think! Suggestions welcome :)