Disclaimer: All stories are individuals of themselves and are unrelated to each other.
He always forgets that she has nightmares too.
Gale Hawthorne has been through a war. He's created weapons that have killed innocent people. He's lost his best friend due to the death of her little sister, something that he played a hand in. He watched his district go up in flames. Before that life was no walk in the park either, he was slowly going mad in the mines where his father was crushed to death years before.
Madge, she knows that he still thinks about his past often. Gale's working on getting better, going to a therapist and spending his time cherishing how things are changing, and Madge is by his side. She holds his hand through every step of the way, reassures him when he gets too panicky and anxious. Madge Undersee is patient and soft.
But she has nightmares too.
She's strong for him 24/7. Gale has never once had to coddle her or remind her that things are okay. She never acts as though there are demons battling inside her head. It's easy to forget.
He doesn't remember everything she's been through until one night when she wakes up screaming. Madge sits up in bed, clutching at the sheets as her cries die in her throat. Her eyes are filled with tears and she's sweating and shaking. Gale has his hands on her shoulders, calming her down the best he can, but she barely hears him.
"Madge," he shakes her slightly. "Madge, look at me!"
She blinks a few times before her eyes focus on him. "I'm sorry," she croaks. Tears drip down her cheeks as she shimmies out of his grasp. "I'm sorry. I don't know what happened, I…" Madge trails off. "I'm sorry."
"Stop apologizing," he murmurs. Gale tilts her head up and she continues to blink. "Want to talk about it?"
Her head tilts to the side. "No." Gale slides his hands down her shoulders until he reaches her hands. "I don't. I'm fine. It was nothing. Let's go back to bed." Gale follows her back down onto the mattress and she curls into him. "I'm fine," she says again, more or less for herself. Gale pulls her close.
It hits him so suddenly when he remembers everything that she's been through. Gale's been too focused on himself to realize that Madge has been barely holding herself together all this time.
Gale might've fought in a war but at least he was never tortured.
"I always forget," he whispers. "You've been through so much." She buries her face into his chest. "You never talk about it. You're so good at pretending like it didn't happen."
"Let's just keep pretending then," she squeaks. Gale sighs loudly and lifts his hand to curl through her hair. Her voice is shaking now, "Go back to sleep."
"You know that I'll listen," he murmurs. "If you ever want to talk about it I'll listen, Madge." She sniffles and shakes her head again. "You've been there for me. Just know I'll be there for you."
She's quiet for a very long time. Her breathing evens out. Gale stares at the ceiling and continues to curl his fingers through her hair, thinking that she's fallen asleep. He remembers how big a deal it was when Madge Undersee was discovered in the prisons in the Capitol, especially after she had been declared dead for months. She mentally couldn't return home and neither could Gale and it was from that in which they bonded. Somehow after all this time has passed she's made his way to his room.
They're not a couple. They don't kiss or have sex. The farthest they've done is holding hands, and it's more friendly than not. He's patient and will wait as long as she needs to, and he has a feeling her thoughts are on a similar wavelength.
"It was awful," Madge suddenly says. Gale leaps, startled by her voice. "The prisons, they were awful." She doesn't sit up to face him, instead she buries into him. "It always gets bad at night and I don't know what to do to make it stop."
"You should wake me," Gale murmurs. There are plenty of times in which he woke up Madge, needing her instantly.
"I don't want you to worry about me," Madge says. Gale continues to curl his fingers through her hair. "You have so much going on you shouldn't have to worry about me, too."
"Then it should be the same for you," Gale hums. "You have a lot going on, too. You shouldn't worry about me either."
He can feel her smile against his chest. "It gives me something to do." Again she falls quiet. "They did things to me, Gale," Madge whispers eventually. "Things that make me… things that…"
"Madge," he leans toward her and lets his fingers dance over her cheek. "Hey. If you're not ready to talk about it you don't have to." She looks up at him before nodding slightly. "But when you are—"
"I am," she affirms. Madge sits up more. The only way she can get stronger is if she confronts what she's spent so long trying to block out. "They used me," she says. "Physically. Drugged me sometimes but most times I was conscious." Gale swallows thickly. He read her report but never imagined how much it would hurt hearing her actually say it. "I was taken because they thought I knew things about the rebellion. I didn't. They found other uses for me."
Madge traces her fingers over Gale's bare chest. "Sometimes I can still feel their hands on me," she continues, "and the only thing that makes it go away is thinking about you." Gale's eyes dart down to where she's drawing pictures on his stomach. "I was always so scared that I was going to turn into a junkie or an alcohol to fight the feeling, to make it all numb, but you… you have a warmth Gale and it's the only thing that has saved me."
"Madge," he exhales deeply and sits up more. He doesn't know what to say to make her feel better, he doesn't know how to lighten her burden. Her hand falls from his chest and to her side. "You're no less of a person because of what happened to you."
"I feel like I am," she whispers.
"You aren't." Madge blinks and nods slowly. "You are so strong." Tears fill her eyes again. "It's okay to need someone." He needs her, it doesn't bother him that she needs him too. "It's okay to be scared."
"I'm dirty," she croaks. Madge squeezes her eyes shut and curls into a ball away from him. "I'll never be good enough again, I'll never—"
"No," Gale edges toward her. "No, no, quit that." She lets silent tears leak down her cheeks. "That's not true."
"I want help," she cries. "I want to feel better I don't want to feel like this anymore." Madge is tired of pretending she doesn't hurt. It's all spilling over the edge now, she can't take it anymore.
"Okay. Okay, we'll make an appointment tomorrow, okay?"
"And you'll come with me?" she asks.
"Yes. Of course I will. I'll do whatever you need me to." Madge slowly peeks up. "I promise. I swear." He gestures back toward the bed. "I'll be there with you through it all. Okay?" She nods timidly. "Let's get some sleep. I'll call first thing in the morning." She nods again, sinking back to the mattress with him. "I think nothing less of you," he whispers into her ear. "I wish… I wish I could've been there for you sooner." He pulls her close and she melts into him. "I'm so sorry, Madge. You're so strong."
She sniffles and grips him as tight as she can. It takes her a bit, but she falls asleep cuddled against him, blocking out the darkness.
It takes a few sessions but within the month Madge opens up. Gale sits by her side and holds her hand and hands her tissues when she needs them. Gale notices a change in her almost immediately. She had been so careful and soothing before, always a soft presence in his life, but eventually she smiles all her own and laughs too. She gets the help she needs.
One night she shakes Gale awake. He sits up immediately and rubs the gunk from his eyes. "What is it? What's wrong?"
"I had a dream," she whispers.
"Want to talk about it? It's okay, it—"
"No," Madge cuts him off, smiling brightly. "It was a dream. Not a nightmare." Gale blinks a few times before his mouth curves into a smile. "It was… it was wonderful, Gale." Madge looks down at her hands and spreads out her fingers, trying to remember it. "I… I was teaching you to play the piano." Gale chuckles and leans toward her, lowering his forehead to hers. "We were in some sort of… some sort of outdoor place. There were flowers everywhere."
"A meadow?"
"Maybe," she says. "There was a waterfall and you just, you knew how to play the music before I taught you." Her eyes light up brilliantly. "You ended up teaching me how to play."
"Mm," Gale laughs again. "Unfortunately I am not musically inclined and cannot—" he's cut off when she arches forward, pressing her lips to his quickly. The kiss is short but infinitely sweet.
Gale blinks a few times and considers dipping down to kiss her again when she smiles the most breathtaking smile he's ever seen. It's a smile that reminds him of a time before the war and the prisons. It is filled with sincerity and hope.
"Thank you," she whispers. "For helping me dream again."
A/N: Gadge month - dreams. Sort of dark and jumbled.