Say Goodbye to Yesterday
Dragonlots aka Dana Bell
Chapter 4
Snow fell heavily on the day before Thanksgiving. Benton watched from his office window as the lighthouse vanished in a blue of white. The structure would be off limits to everyone for the duration of the storm. Meant no lab work for him and no assistance from Hadji on Questworld development. Jonny and Jessie couldn't wait for it to be finished and to test it.
He returned to his desk and the email sent from Dr. Daniel Jackson. Some new language had been discovered and parts seemed familiar while others didn't. The linguist had declined to say where it had been found and again he wondered what type of top secret work the man did.
"Looks familiar doesn't it?"
Benton turned to see Marari staring over his shoulder. "You shouldn't read other people's email," he admonished her.
"Daniel sent that to me too." She shook her head. "He wanted me to see if I found any patterns or sequences that seemed to repeat.
"You have any language training?" He found it odd Dr. Jackson would send the same message to Marari.
"No really. I analyze things and can see around the corners I guess you'd say." She stepped forward, a frown on her face. "Does look familiar though."
"I was thinking the same thing."
"Sort of like ancient Egyptian but with a twist. See," her finger followed the line without touching the screen. "Something about the Ring of the Lords and arriving somewhere before whatever happened?"
Marari seemed to understand more than he did. Benton wasn't sure he felt comfortable with her quick if incomplete translation. Normally, that is why other scientists and specialists contacted him for assistance.
"Lunch is ready," she said. "The kids helped so be nice."
"That bad?"
"Simple actually. We played with a variation of tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches."
"Are you going to teach them to cook every day?" He sat back in his chair.
"As long as they want to learn. Granted it may be a few years, but each of them will need to learn that skill if they intend to leave the nest and be on their own."
Shifting in his chair, Benton didn't want to think about the children leaving with only him and Race left in the house. He wondered if they'd be able to survive the quiet or if they'd opt to travel to see what trouble they could get into.
"You hadn't thought about it." She crossed her arms over her chest. He had to admit she looked comfortable in orange sweats and a light colored sweater.
"Honestly no."
"I don't think my mother had either. It was really hard for her to let go."
He waited to see if she'd share more, disappointed when she opted to change the subject.
"The kids are waiting to show off their skills. What Daniel wants can wait."
"You're right." He saved his notes and followed her to the kitchen. The combined scents of tomato soup, cheese and bacon? drifted out reminding him breakfast had been hours ago. He entered the room and the kids all grinned him.
"See what we made Dad!" Jonny beamed.
"So I see." He sat down not remembering the last time they'd shared the midday meal together. Probably meant it had been too long. He helped himself and joined in the conversation.
He lifted his eyes to meet Marari's realizing, with a feeling like a sharp jab in his stomach, that she belonged there and he needed to everything he could to make certain she became a member of his family.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Race sat in an easy chair near the window, watching the Jonny, Jessie and Hadji play a board game. They seemed to be having fun and cheers would periodically erupt from whoever was winning at the moment.
He noticed when Marari came in with a tray loaded with some snacks and if his nose was correct, hot chocolate. It smelled really good.
"Thought you would enjoy this." She set the tray down, removing one cup.
"Thanks, Marari!" Jonny's face beamed as he grabbed a mug brimming with whipped cream and marshmallows.
"Thank you." Hadji tended to be a bit more formal.
His daughter took a sip. "This is really good."
"Old family recipe." Marari brought a cup over to him. "You're never too old for hot chocolate."
"I appreciate it." He took a sip and wondered what she had done to make it so good.
"You're welcome." She left, returning a few minutes late with her laptop. Settling on the couch, she opened it up and went to work.
Bandit, lying down under the coffee table, lifted his head and growled. Race wondered why until he noticed the tan body slowly edging into the room, tail high.
"Easy boy," Race soothed. "Marari, I think you cat is out."
"What?" She glanced down as the feline bumped her leg. "Now how did you manage that?" She picked up the cat, who laid down partially on Marari's lap and promptly began to use its tongue to clean its fur.
The bulldog growled again, edging closer.
"You had better leave my cat alone, Bandit," Marari warned. "I'll take Prim back upstairs here momentarily."
"Here Bandit," Jonny called, luring the dog with a treat. "Here boy."
Reluctantly Bandit went for the treat while keeping a close eye on the feline intruder. Jonny managed to get his dog to lie down next to him. Didn't stop the growling, but at least no chase had started. Yet.
Race enjoyed his hot drink, becoming very concerned about the storm raging outside. Last report had indicated at least two feet, if not more. Storm of the century they were calling it.
Good thing they didn't plan on going anywhere.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Marari stared at the message Daniel wanted assistance translating. Prim butting her head against her arm didn't help and disrupted her concentration. So did Bandit's constant growling. Jonny did have the bulldog under control, but she knew it would take very little provocation for a fight to break out.
"Any luck," Benton asked, sitting down beside her, his own laptop open.
"Not really. It just looks so familiar it is driving me nuts. Like I've seen it before, but can't remember where."
"Interesting."
"Maybe."
She noticed his glance between Prim and Bandit, his eyes asking a question. "No idea how she got out," Marari explained.
"Bandit hasn't tried to chase Prim?"
"Not yet. Plenty of growling." Her hand gently scratched behind her cat's ear. "She's so comfortable and happy I hate to take her back upstairs. Besides," she lowered her voice, "depending on how things go between us, they may have to learn to live together."
The look on his face was priceless and it was all Marari could do not to laugh.
He cleared his throat. "Maybe we should call Dr. Jackson."
She knew Benton had no idea what was going on at the SGC or Atlantis and she couldn't tell him. General O'Neill continued to deny access and it was beginning to make her angry. Whatever had happened between the two men needed to be sorted out.
"Daniel flew to DC this morning to the spend Thanksgiving with General O'Neill and won't be back until next Monday." That much she could share.
"O'Neill actually has friends?" Benton sounded surprised.
"Yes, he does." Daniel and Jack went back years. Marari knew the entire story about the mission to Abydos and Daniels deciding to stay. Then the Gou'ald had opened the gate and started a whole off world war where until they had finally been defeated. Then the Ori came and in between all that Atlantis had been found. The threat of the Wraith followed and the city being returned to Earth, now hidden in cove near Collinsport. Many of the scientists who had been on the original mission had returned, plus more, like Dr. Jackson had joined them.
"Hmmm. I had no idea." Benton frowned at the screen.
"General O'Neill is unconventional. Makes him an unpredictable leader and hasn't made him many friends in DC."
"Typical politics," Benton muttered.
"Unfortunately." Her cousin hated them too and had many speeches about what the founding fathers had wanted for the country. Most thought he had just studied history. They had no idea he'd actually known the men personally.
"Is your cousin going to run for president?"
"Might. Polls indicate he'd have a good chance of winning even if he runs on a third party ticket."
"That would be unusual."
"Wouldn't it." She saved the program and shut her laptop down. "What do you say we put work aside until next Monday and enjoy a long weekend."
He looked startled.
"When was the last time you did that?" she asked him.
"I have no idea."
"Shut down your computer and relax."
Hesitantly he followed her example, putting his laptop next to him. She smiled slightly as his next move was to drape his arm over her shoulders. Prim reached out with her front paws wanted attention. Marari ran her hand over the cat's head and down her body. "Attention monger."
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Thanksgiving morning dawned with subzero temperatures and heavy snow. Benton frowned as he entered the kitchen. Marari was already up and had made coffee for him and Race along with tea for herself. The kids were sitting at the island eating hot oatmeal and drinking hot chocolate. Race poured himself a cup and silently asked if Benton wanted one too. He nodded.
"What time did you get up, Marari?" Benton asked, accepting the mug from Race.
"Early." She sat down, placing her cup on the marble top. "I'm used to sleeping odd hours."
Race glanced knowingly at Benton. His long-time friend knew he tended to stay up for hours, forget to eat and sleep, when a new idea inspired him. How often over the years had he fallen asleep in his office or lab out of pure exhaustion?
"Most of those I work with," Marari continued. "Tend to work some strange schedules."
"Sounds about right," Race agreed, his blue eyes reflecting his amusement. Benton glared at him.
"So what time is dinner today?" she asked.
"Whenever we want to eat," Benton replied, sipping the hot brew.
"Let's plan for mid-afternoon." She got up and took the turkey out. "Luckily I made sure it was unthawed."
Jonny's head popped up. "Need help?"
"Not with this part. Later, yes."
"Okay."
"What are your plans for today, Jonny?" He squeezed his son's shoulder.
"Comics."
They'd come back from Bangor with a huge bag filled with comic books. At least they'd be reading and Benton figured it was better than making them do more homework.
"Sounds like a good idea."
Jonny grinned and started to leave.
"Bowls and cups in the dishwasher before you leave." Marari hadn't even turned around.
The three looked at each other and complied before dashing out, Bandit following close behind.
"Eyes in the back of your head?" Benton teased as he made himself an English muffin. He heard Race chuckled.
"Grew up with siblings. We were on our own a lot."
He hadn't known she'd probably had brothers or sisters. It almost annoyed him and he wished she'd share more.
"Think I'm going to sweep the front porch," Race said, putting his cup the same place the kids had put their dishes.
"Be careful out there, Race," he warned his long-time friend.
"Just want to make sure we can get out both main entrances if we need to."
"Expecting an attack are we?" Marari's tone was bantering.
"With this family, who knows."
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
In between cooking, Marari enjoyed being with the Quest family. Jonny, Jessie and Hadji, sprawled on the living room floor, stacks of comics waiting to be read. Race stayed out part of the morning clearing the main entrances and Benton, surprising enough, helped her in the kitchen with the turkey and later preparing the mashed potatoes, salad, a green bean recipe she'd never heard of and with the baking of a couple of pies. Lucky for them she knew how to cook, although, from what she'd gathered, Race normally prepared meals when Mrs. Evan, the housekeeper, wasn't there.
They sat down around two to eat. They held hands as a quick prayer was said. She would have never guessed Benton Quest believed in God. Or maybe it shouldn't. She hoped to discuss that later with him.
"As is our tradition," Benton began, "we always name one thing we are thankful for." He lifted his glass of white wine. "I am thankful for my family."
Race lifted his. "I'm thankful we're all safe during this storm."
Everyone laughed.
Jonny, trying to look serious and very grown up lifted his glass of water. "I'm thankful for this good meal."
Hadji followed. "I am thankful for my family and the opportunities I've had."
"I'm thankful for my dad," Jessie added.
All eyes turned to her. She lifted her glass of water. "I'm thankful for new friends."
They all sipped their various beverages and she made a mental note to bring a bottle of Julian's wine for next year. Next year? She couldn't believe her mind would even think that far ahead.
After dinner they settled back into the living room. The kids returned to their comics and instead of the normal custom of football games, Race and Benton played chess. Left to her own devices, Marari went upstairs and fed her cat, before grabbing her coat and stepping outside for a breath of air.
Standing under the porch she watched the snow fall, feeling the damp chill penetrating through her heavy coat. She shivered, refusing to give in to the desire to return to the warmth of the house. A moment to herself was badly needed.
She heard the door open and close. Benton came to stand beside her, bundled into his heavy winter jacket. They shared a comfortable silence before he spoke. "Are you all right?"
"Fine," she answered. "Just needed some fresh air to clear my head."
He laughed. "My family can be a bit overwhelming."
"A bit?" She turned to face him. He had a hat on which accented his reddish brown beard and mustache. His dark brown eyes looked at her with tenderness and she knew in that instant she'd already lost her heart to the man.
"A bit," he confirmed, moving slightly closer. "You should come inside. It's very cold out here."
"I'm familiar with Maine winters," she snapped and wished she hadn't by the hurt look on his face. "Sorry. I get so tired of men trying to protect me."
"It's what we men do." He stepped away from her and stared out at the storm. Wind whirled under the porch bringing wet snow and frigid cold.
She gasped, moving toward the door. Benton already had his hand on the knob, turning it to let them both back inside. Marari reached out to touch his arm. "I had to learn to take care of myself after my husband died and overreacted. I know you meant well."
"I would do anything to protect you." He pushed the door open.
She hesitated knowing that whatever might have happened, her reaction had caused the moment pass. Stepping inside she took off her coat, hanging it up. Benton did the same before returning to the living room.
Upset with herself for being over defensive, she took the stairs back to her room, changed into her flannel gown and cuddled with her cat. Prim's purr lulled her to sleep, before she woke in the middle of the night. The wind rattled against the house, making it hard to rest.
With a sigh, she rose, pulling on her housecoat and making her way down to the kitchen. Trying to be quiet, she made a cup of tea and sat at the island, sipping the hot beverage. Granted it wasn't lightning and thunder, but the howling wind jarred her nerves.
"Can't sleep?"
She jumped, almost falling on the floor. Laying a hand on her heart, she replied, "You scared me half to death."
"I heard you get up." Benton went to the stove and made himself some tea as well. "I rarely sleep through the night anymore. Not since," he stopped, his hand shaking slightly. "Not since Rachelle died."
Marari knew how it had happened. Dr. Zin had kidnapped his wife and she'd been killed in a massive explosion. "I'm sorry." He nodded his thanks.
"If I may ask," he sat down across from her. "How did you lose your husband? I know you told me it was in the line of duty."
"His mission was classified. That's all I really know other than they couldn't retrieve his body."
"It must have been difficult for you."
"It was." She took a deep breath. "Sometimes I miss him. Sometimes our life together feels like a dream or like it belonged to someone else."
"I understand." He sipped his tea.
She wanted so badly to tell him how she felt, yet sensed the timing was wrong. He might pull away and any chance they had of being together would be lost. She reached across and took his hand. "I know you do."
He squeezed her hand. "I've had to keep on for Jonny's and Hadji's sake. Be strong for them."
"You have to allow yourself time to mourn, Benton. The only way to get to the other side is to go through it. Not try to avoid it, like we tend to do because we hate hurting."
He smiled sadly. "So my shrink told me."
"They're right."
"I know." He hung his head and briefly looked like a lost frightened child. "Will you wait?"
"I'm not going anywhere."