Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy or anything surrounding it (but I do own this plot :D)
DPOV
"Thank you so much for coming, have a lovely evening." Avery was bidding the clients and other important business people goodbye as the sun went down, casting a long shadow in the glass office. Christmas was approaching very soon and the temperature had fallen so that the wind was like an icy blade scarring your bare skin in each breeze.
Tasha sat at the head of the table with myself beside her. In all honesty, it was a miracle that I hadn't snapped at her yet – she was finding more unnecessary ways to touch me like, for example, stretching her legs out so that her foot ran along my calves, which is something that had happened a lot in this particular meeting. Whilst I was somewhat grateful she had chosen my pitch over Nathan's, I was really beginning to doubt if she would ever just focus on the actual work. As much as I hated what I did for a living, I hated her consistent flirting more; especially when my heart was somewhere else entirely.
Roza.
Even thinking about her made me smile. Irritably, I could not see her as much as I wanted to – which was essentially all the time. With Stan's consistent demands to keep Rose from fleeing the pub at any given moment – though she claims that each time was entirely justifiable – and my increasing working hours, we had not been able to spend a lot of time together which was killing me.
Her entire being excited me and filled me with an indescribable joy. This added to the fact that I could not stop thinking about kissing her (and, well, other things that had occupied most of my dreams, but we shall not go there), I was in a bit of a state.
If the desperate longing to see my Roza wasn't bad enough, I also had to condole with another heart-shattering emotion: anguish. As it turns out, the doctor said that Ivan was getting better: his vitals were good, blood pressure steady; everything was pretty much on its way to recovery. This gave me some relief but it was still not enough: my best friend was still unconscious in a hospital bed and I could do nothing about it.
Seven days – I was seriously contemplating taking Rose up on her offer for a shoulder to cry on.
Added to all this was Tasha. After successfully feeling some relief over Ivan, I warily turned my phone back on to unleash a torrent of missed calls and messages that should have been answered days ago.
Most of which were from Tasha.
She had left a string of 'where are you' messages and I reluctantly called her. After yelling at me for a while, she said she 'forgave' me but told her that I really should have spoken to her when Ivan was taken in to hospital. Whilst I may have nodded, inwardly I was pissed. She had no right to demand that I talk to her when my best friend – whom she had never met might I just point out – was hospitalised. We were barely friends, let alone someone I could confide in.
Even still, I went back to work after Alberta rung me up to check if I was okay. It was on a lowly Tuesday morning – after I had of course visited Ivan – when I eventually slumped my way back to the office. I had informed Alberta on the situation and she seemed to have passed the information onto Victor who gave me a respectful but sympathetic nod when I wandered in.
So I made it my mission that morning to get Alberta that pay rise.
Tasha, on the other hand, was not so understanding. She was delighted to see me, don't get me wrong, but she was in no way considerate of what I was going through and was simple unimpressed when I asked to give Alberta a pay rise. As it turned out, Alberta – who I have never known to hate anyone – was not Tasha's biggest fan and, whilst she never said anything, it did not escape my notice how she glowered every time Tasha was in the room or how her jaw locked whenever Tasha said something vaguely flirty.
Like about now.
"So, Dimka…" she said almost seductively. I ignored her and continued to flip through folders with Alberta. "I was thinking that you and I could go over the planning permissions tonight. Your place?" she flashed me a smile that was supposed to be enticing but it scored zero on the scale of effect. Tasha had been constantly arranging these 'meetings' which I had been so naively agreeing to. They were not in any way productive and were the main reason that inhibited me from going back to the Shadow Kiss Inn.
"Actually, I was going to visit Ivan later." I said smoothly, not diverting my gaze from the graphs in front of me. I had actually had an idea for what Rose and I could do, but I was not about to share this information with Tasha. I could see Alberta bite back a laugh opposite me and I did not dare to think what vulgar facial expression Tasha was wearing. Thankfully, Avery came in to break the tension.
"Ms. Ozera, your nephew." She said holding the phone out to Tasha.
"Excuse me." She said to both of us and got up a left the room. I heard Alberta give out a sigh of relief and I bowed my head to conceal my laugh.
"It is not funny, Dimitri." She said with a light-hearted glare. "I honestly think I am going to hit her if she keeps hitting on you." She shook her head and pushed a folder towards me.
I glanced over it, nodded and she took it back. "I think I need to tell her that I am not interested." I said bluntly and Alberta raised a brow.
"You think?"
I chuckled. "I have tried, on a number of occasions, but she doesn't seem to get the message." I said glancing at the door where Tasha stood talking on the phone.
"Maybe you should tell her you have a girlfriend…" Alberta suggested and I looked back at her.
"But I don't..." I fumbled a bit, not even convincing myself let alone Alberta. Was she my…girlfriend? Alberta just gave me a look as if to say 'really' and it became painfully apparent why I had not taken drama in school.
"I beg to differ." She said signing off another piece of paper. My frowned deepened. "You have been a lot friendlier recently and you have always come in with a smile on your face before what happened with Ivan, but even now, you keep drifting away into some content bliss and it has all started when you went to that pub." She said pointedly. "Not to mention the earlier texting session. Yeah, I saw you." She hummed self-righteously. "All smiling and eyes dancing like a kid's at Christmas." She grinned.
"I don't think I can call her my girlfriend." I said weakly. I really, really liked Rose, and we were trying, but we had not yet 'defined' the relationship as such. I would've loved nothing more than to call Roza my girlfriend, in fact, I would have loved nothing more than to scream it from the top of St Basils, but I really wasn't sure how she would feel about it. Alberta looked at me with her mother-like eyes and smiled.
"Then ask her to be." She said as Tasha walked back into the room.
"Sorry about that. Nephew was telling me about the doctor appointment for his fiancée." Tasha explained settling back at the head of the table.
"Oh, is she sick?" Alberta asked a little concerned.
"Pregnant." Tasha replied bluntly and Alberta nodded awkwardly. "It probably isn't even his; she is such an annoying bitch it wouldn't surprise me that she cheated on him with another man. She gets it from her best friend who is possibly the biggest slut I have ever met." She pulled out some mascara and reapplied it to her lashes. I bit the inside of my cheek at the hypocrisy of what she just said as well as calming my anger toward her for completely insulting her nephew's fiancée.
Alberta had no such reservations. "Surely you would be happy for your nephew?" she asked a little sourly.
"I would," she finished reapplying make-up, "if I liked her and their friends." I clenched my jaw and went back to using numbers as distraction. Alberta appeared to do the same thing and we both shared a look of disgust. "You know, I think you should meet them and decided for yourself." Tasha said happily.
"I'd rather not." Alberta responded coldly, expressing my views exactly.
"Well I wasn't talking to you." Tasha sneered and turned to smile at me. "I'll pick you up at 8 and we can go together." She stated, not giving me any time to argue.
But I tried anyway. "I was actually going to see Iv-"
"Great, so I'll see you then." She grinned standing up and waltzing out.
"Tasha!" I called after her but to no avail.
"Get off your ass and go." Alberta commanded and I suddenly felt tiny in my seat under her glare. I scurried up and was quick to catch up with Tasha, who was, irksomely, pretending not to notice my calling.
"Tasha!" I had broken into a little jog so when she stopped suddenly, it caused me to crash into her and for it to pull us both onto the ground.
"Dimka!" she faked surprise as her small body lay on top of mine. I squirmed indicating that I wanted her to move but that wasn't happening. "Well, this is cosy." She winked and I clenched my jaw.
"Tasha would you please just stop." I said looking directly into her ice blue eyes, feeling my heart grow cold under their watch.
Her beaming smile faltered a little, but she continued to play innocent. "Stop what, Dimka?"
"This." I growled, getting very annoyed.
"Oh, am I hurting you?" she said gesturing to her lying on top of me. I had a feeling she knew full well what I was talking about but elected to infuriate me further. She got up and ignored the point, but it was nice to be able to stand up again. Once up I straightened out my suit and tried once again to tell her to back the hell off.
"Natasha, I-"
Her phone buzzed and she held up a bony finger. "Hold on a minute." I closed my eyes and breathed out slowly, preventing myself from getting angry and slapping her. When the thought of hitting a woman seeped into my head, it all but terrified me: no, no, no! I am not my father! I am not my father!
Luckily, I was saved by a heavy sigh. "I am so sorry, Dimka, but I am going to have to cancel." I had a hard time stopping the joy from radiating from my face. "Yeah, I have to go to some stupid meeting that starts in two minutes, but I'll miss you." she all but whined. She smiled sickly and skipped off into the elevator, texting as she went. I leaned my body against the white wall and let out a deep sigh before walking back to the office and Alberta. I was greeted with the perking of her head but when she saw my face, her face contorted into a scowl.
"Please tell me you aren't meeting her 'friends' tonight." She said as I slumped into the seat.
"I am not, but thank you for the vote of confidence." I replied defeated and sarcastic. Alberta, clearly choosing to ignore my snarky comment, frowned before pulling out her clipboard from under the table. Shaking her head as if confirming something, she put it back and continued with numbers. I raised an eyebrow but did not comment.
Having concluded the filing, I started to pack up, noticing the time. Alberta slowly raised her head and tried to contain her smile as my hands rapidly ordered the papers in front of me.
"Packing up so early, it is only 5:30…" she hummed. I shot her a scowl, but she just chuckled. "You know, I think this girl is having a bad influence on you."
In complete honesty, I think that Rose was having a fantastic influence on me – my life before her consisted solely of distractions, things that would keep me from ending it all, but now…everything was different. Sure, I still drank once in a while and I could feel the muted lust of withdrawal due to my irregular substance abuse, but the appeal was no longer there and I was definitely getting better. Even Ivan seemed to be slowly climbing out of the pit that we had elected to throw ourselves in.
Well, maybe not completely…
"Would you please run over these for me?" I asked Alberta, tapping some of the papers on the table as I picked up the pen I had dropped midway through the meeting.
Alberta's face softened and she smiled. "Of course, I'll cover too – tell Mr. Dashkov that you are…I'll make something up." She assured and I laughed, rising to my full height.
"Thanks Alberta." I said, waling towards the door and taking my duster from the coat-stand.
"It is no bother, have fun and remember to use protection!" she called after and I snapped my head round to face her, causing me to inadvertently walk into the doorframe. She chuckled and raised her arms. "Just kidding, are you alright?" She asked as the palm of my right hand nursed the back of my head.
"I'm fine."
I was quick to flee the building and hop into my Jag. Starting up the engine, I slid it into gear and crept my way out of the car park into the road. Remembering the duffle bag I had so graciously shoved on the passenger's seat, I leaned over and chucked it in the bag, still keeping the surprise very much alive.
Comrade, if there is one thing I hate, it is surprises.
I smiled at the memory. I loved to tease Rose and she loved to tease me. It was as though we were life-long friends making jokes and winding each other up. I had never been with someone like I was with Rose: my last relationship, well, if you could call it that, was almost the complete opposite and I wish I could just wipe it from my memory entirely.
But I couldn't.
It wasn't the fact that I was six, maybe seven years older than Rose that had made me initially nervous. It wasn't the fact that I was supposed to be her friend or the divide in both culture and wealth.
It was my past.
The thing that loomed over me like a metaphoric grey cloud, raining down everything I want to forget. I wanted to tell her – to see if it would bring me some relief on the matter – but I did not know how she would react or, worse still, if she would run away disgusted.
How do you tell the one you are unconditionally and irretrievably falling in love with that you pushed away your family, took drugs, treated women like pieces of meat and drowned all of this down with alcohol? How do you tell her that the reason that your best friend is in a coma is due to a drug related shooting? How do you tell her that you hated everything you were, stood for and did that made you delve into a bitter self-loathing and laced your heart in a frozen layer of pure ice?
And the big one: how do you convince her that you have moved on?
Telling her about it all was, whilst awkward and incredibly displeasing, was the easy part. Convincing her that I regretted all of it and would rather shoot myself than go back was the tricky part. I used to believe that people did not change and, for everything that is good in this world, I hoped to God that I was wrong.
I slowly pulled the handbrake up as I parked outside the inn. I stepped out of the car and allowed the fresh air to fill my mind and body as I gently leant against the now closed door of my jag. Maybe it would be okay if I told her: she would nod, feel a little uneasy but get over it. But there was the chance that she would not – that she would turn in disgust. I did not deserve someone like her: someone so kind, passionate and loyal.
I did not deserve her and yet, I could not loose her.
My selfish heart could not bear the thought of watching her go and telling her was too great a chance. The risk was too much. Ivan was right – I was whipped. Bad. I was so badly whipped that there would be no chance of admitting to myself, or to her, that my affection was false; that my love could fade. I couldn't loose her. I couldn't tell her.
"…you chose Dimitri-" my head snapped up at the sound of my name "-which can only mean that you are serious about him." I looked and saw a slender blonde girl conversing with Rose, my beautiful, beautiful Roza. "Is this the Prince Charming you were waiting for?" The blonde, who I was assuming was Lissa – Rose's best friend – said teasingly but Rose's hesitation made my heart soar so high it ran out of oxygen. Apparently this hesitation also did not go unnoticed by Lissa. "Oh my God, Rose!" she gasped, stopping suddenly.
Rose turned around and muttered something I could not make out. Nevertheless, it caused Lissa to squeal again, "Oh my God, are you guys dating?"
"Lissa." Rose hissed loudly and I could not help the smirk drifting its way onto my face.
"No, no, no, no. You cannot say something like that and walk away." Lissa said pointedly, latching to Rose's arm and keeping her from turning and walking away.
"I didn't say anything." Oh, there was my Roza: never ceasing with a witty comeback. The smile on my face on grew.
Lissa just rolled her eyes and proceeded to explain herself, "That is the point! You hesitated, which means you like him a lot. Rose, this is so good. He could be the one and-" she cut herself off as her eyes made contact with mine. Rose, seemingly very concerned with her friend's wellbeing, began an immediate survey of Lissa before reaching her eyes and slowly turning her head to face me.
"Roza." I smiled, arms folded against my chest whilst wearily preventing myself from chuckling at the situation.
"Heya, comrade."