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Written for Auction Prompt - James Sirius Potter
Word Count - 228
He Told Himself
He told himself it was platonic, that he just admired Teddy because he'd grown up looking up to the older boy.
He told himself it was normal, at fifteen, to be having wet dreams about someone who might as well be family, because he was hormonal and it wasn't like he could control his dreams.
He told himself to date the way his friends did, indiscriminately and never exclusive, because he was young and this was the time he was supposed to be having fun and finding himself.
He told himself that it didn't hurt when he caught Teddy with Victoire, snogging in a barely hidden alcove. He told himself it didn't hurt when Teddy caught his eye and winked.
He told himself that Emily was the one made for him, and then later, Ben, because what he really wanted wasn't available to him, and that was the way it was.
He told himself it wasn't like an arrow through his heart when Teddy asked him to be his best man; and ruffled his hair like James wasn't twenty two and deeply in love.
He told himself he was crying with happiness when he hid during Teddy's wedding. He told himself that he was happy that Teddy was happy, because that was all he wanted.
He lied to himself because lies were easier than the pain in truth.