Chapter 7 – Secrets and Lies
AN: Wow, thank you for the reviews, comments and for those who have alerted and favored Destiny. I'm pleased that some of you caught the details to the storyline [Gale's claim to Katniss, the Seam and Merchant divide, Peeta calling out to his Dad for comfort, his Dad realizing how much he failed Peeta as a father, his mother's one act of kindness and Katniss' choice to save Peeta which ultimately shatters her friendship with Gale] I hope not to disappoint. Since the last few chapters have been intense, I thought to slow it down a bit before it escalates again. This chapter will have Prim and Katniss' POV and it is rated M for language and swearing.
Prim POV ––
I looked out the window once, twice growing restless and impatient as I waited for Mom, Dad and Katniss to arrive with Peeta.
"Prim, they'll be here. You know that it'll take a while for them to get here," Rory said. He stood waiting with me inside my home. I laid a fresh cloth on the dining room table, a bowl of warm water, fresh wash towels, scissors, numbing herbs and needle and thread.
"It's just Peeta…he looked so horrible and all that blood he's losing." I looked at the supplies and wondered if I prepared everything that he needed. I loved healing and working alongside with Mom, but the horror of what I witnessed today sickened me. A broken arm or leg from an accident was occurrence I could easily work with. Bones break and heal. But a whipping such as the one that Peeta received was…hard to swallow. It was horrific. Someone directly caused bodily harm to a human being. It was to inflict pain. Pain and injury to someone…kind and sweet like Peeta who would never hurt anyone. I felt paralyzed as the event unfolded in front of my eyes.
"Your mom will do her best to help him," he added. "And I know you'll do you best too. I just can't believe that Peeta…I know he's a Merchant, but what he did for Katniss. I just don't understand why he stuck up for her." I smirked back at Rye. I guess he's a boy and not aware that Peeta has a crush on my sister. Even I could see that. He's so oblivious. Well, so was Katniss. "Did you see Gale? He was so mad."
"I know." I have always thought him as an older brother I never had. He was strong and very protective of Katniss and myself. Posy was lucky to have a brother like Gale, but today I saw a side of him that I never knew existed. He was angry, so angry that I was afraid of him.
"You should have seen his face when Katniss told everyone that she was with Peeta that night. I mean, we know what really happened, but he was so angry. I've never seen him like that before."
"Peeta was only trying to protect her. He's a good guy, Rye. I just wished that Gale could see that." I really liked Peeta; he was sweet and kind to everyone around whether they were Merchant or Seam.
"I guess…Peeta, for a Merchant is not so bad," he admitted. "Prim, there's something I need to tell you…"
"Here they come," I cried out as I yanked the door open. Mr. Mellark, Rye, Mom, Dad and Katniss bustled into the house. Mr. Cartwright and a Seam neighbor brought Peeta's prone body inside balancing the stretcher with their hands. Gale walked in behind them.
"Place him the dining table," mom instructed them.
"Gale, go home," Dad spoke to him as he guided him towards the door preventing him from getting near Katniss.
"I just…I want to talk to Katniss," he said. Katniss was in the dining room watching as Peeta was placed on the table face down.
"Go home, Gale," Dad repeated.
"But––"
"Whatever you need to say to Katniss will have to wait." Dad stood his ground. "This is not the time or place." Though Gale towered over Dad, he nodded his head and left the room like a little boy sulking because he didn't get what he wanted. And what he wanted was Katniss' attention. He knew not to push by pissing off the dad of the girl you're attracted to.
"Rory, let's go," he barked at him as he transferred his anger to his little brother. Rory sighed knowing that his brother had a bone to pick with him. He was in trouble and he knew it.
"See you tomorrow, Prim," he said as he walked out. I could hear Gales' voice as he shouted at Rory. I sighed knowing that Gale wasn't happy with Katniss. He needed to confront her. There was a conversation that needed to be settled between them. I had completely forgotten that Rory wanted to say something to me but…well. Peeta was my first priority.
For a few minutes mom and I washed Peeta's back with a washcloth careful not to aggravate the deep slashes. His cuts were deep crisscrossing on top of each other. I had never seen anything like it before. Muscles were torn and ripped away.
"Katniss, you look queasy. Why don't you go to the other room and let me and Mom take care of Peeta," I said to her. She hadn't left his side not for a second. I was surprised and shocked as I watched her hold onto his hand, never letting go. Mr. Mellark was in the next room with his elbows on this knees and hands cradling his head. I could see his exhausted and hunched form biting back the anger and frustration. He sent Rye home telling him that there wasn't anything he could do for his brother.
"I want to be here," Rye insisted. Delly arrived moments later with a small bag filled with Peeta's clothes, a shirt, pant, undershirt and socks. Under her other arm was sketchpad and a small pouch for pencils or drawing implements.
"I know that he won't be able…to draw for a while but maybe he'll find comfort with his stuff around him," she explained. It would probably a week or so that Peeta would be confined to a bed in our home. So it was smart of Delly to think ahead.
"Where did you find his––" Rye asked his fiancée. She blushed.
"He keeps it under his mattress," she responded. How odd that his fiancée knew where Peeta hid his sketchpad.
"Go home, Rye," his dad told her second oldest. "Go to school, Graham will open up the bakery. I need you both to keep the shop open. Don't let your mother back in the shop and turn away any customers. I'll be staying here with Peeta."
"But Dad, I don't want––"
"Rye, please do as I say," Mr. Mellark pleaded his eyes towards his youngest son. "Please." Peeta moaned in pain letting us know he was awake and in agony. Rye's eyes drifted to his baby brother.
"Can I at least come by tomorrow?"
"Yes, but only for a while. I know you love your brother and are concern but…, Rye. I need to able to know that both you and Graham can handle the shop while I'm here. I'm depending on you both." Rye nodded his head. He walked over to his younger brother and leaned down to his ear.
"Hey, I expect you to get better so I can kick your ass for scaring me," he teased him in playful manner. Delly leaned down and kissed his forehead as she lightly ruffled his sweaty hair from his eyes. I hid back a smirk as a scowl appeared on my sister's face.
"Get better Peeta," she said, soft and low. "Rye and I can't get married. I want you to make our cake for our wedding and bake the bread for the toasting ceremony." She sighed. They left the house after receiving a quick hug from Mr. Mellark.
"Jimmy," Dad addressed hm. "Your boy will be okay. He's strong and resilient." Mr. Mellark closed his eyes and shook his head.
"I should have done something, Garrett," he sobbed as sat back down. I have never seen a man like Mr. Mellark who was big and strong break down before. It was heart wrenching to see him hold back his tears.
"There was nothing you could have done," Dad assured him. "If you had interfered, Cray would have strung you up alongside Peeta."
"I should have done something. I'm his father. It should have been me up there, not Peeta. It should have been me," he repeated the last sentence over and over.
"Prim, pay attention," Mom scolded me. I was so caught up with Mr. Mellark and Dad's conversation that I ignored Peeta's moans of pain. "You need to finish cleaning the blood so I can see my stitches." Katniss closed her eyes as she cupped a hand over her mouth. "Katniss, you should leave if you're feeling sick. I know this kind of thing makes you…uncomfortable."
She shook her head in defiance as her throat bobbed up and down. Her normally tanned skin was lighter. She took a deep breath. "I need to be here in case...in case he needs me."
"Jimmy, have a drink to settle your nerves. Lily will be working on Peeta for a while," Dad advised him.
"I'm not going to be able to forgive myself for this," Mr. Mellark stated as he looked at his battered son draped over the table. Mom cut away Peeta's pants and boxer shorts with a pair of scissor. We couldn't afford to jostle his body to prevent the cuts to open wider. Katniss blushed a deep crimson red as she looked away when Mom cut his boxers revealing his naked form while I removed his shoes. He had big feet and it made me wonder. Big feet big…?
'Wow,' I giggled mentally staring at his strong muscular legs and taut butt cheeks. He was…fit. There lay a naked boy at our dining table. Usually mom attended to men, women and children providing herbs for whatever injury they sustained; a broken arm, sprained ankles, cold, flu, fever. A teenage boy, a naked teenage boy was rare and a few. 'It's no wonder Katniss is attracted to him,' I thought. 'Even though she denied it.'
I placed a clean sheet on his lower body for decency sake. "You can look now." Katniss stared at his muscular covered backside then her eyes travelled to his feet. She smiled as I left his socks on in case he felt cold. Not that it mattered since he was more likely feeling pain than anything else. His socks were orange, an odd color considering how bright they were. There was a tiny hole on his left pinky toe. I wondered if she noticed how her finger made small circular motions on the top of his hand like a soft caress.
After Mom and I first wiped the blood that oozed out of his cuts, we applied a green salve. It was topical treatment that didn't numb the inner deep tissue and nerves. So when Peeta moaned in such agony. My heart ached listening him yell out in pain.
"Prim, get me a cup of warm water," mom barked out her order.
She dropped two teaspoon of sleep syrup in the cup. She raised it to his lips. Peeta resisted since he was in so much pain.
"Peeta, please drink this," Mom said as she tried to get him to drink the liquid. His lips quivered and shook as he struggled to breath. "Peeta, just try." He closed his eyes, teeth clenched together.
"Hurts…"
"Peeta, son." Mr. Mellark walked over and placed a comforting hand on his head. "Listen to her." Peeta shook his head.
"Lily, give the cup to Katniss." Lily was stunned for a moment but Katniss was already up and in front of Peeta.
"Peeta, drink it. It'll help you feel better," she comforted him. He blinked a few times like he was focusing his eyes.
Lilly handed the cup to my sister. "Please," Katniss said soft and gentle. Tipping the cup to his lips, he took two sips. Because of the angle, the warm liquid dribbled down his chin. I was about to wipe the residue when Katniss snatched the cloth from my hand and wiped his mouth dry patting his lips gently as she was careful not to aggravate the cut on his upper lip. His dad rubbed the back of his head in a comforting manner. His breathe evened out and a minute later he was out.
"Thank God," Mom sighed. "I have to work fast. I don't know how long he'll be out." The procedure was delicate and time consuming as she weaved the thread and needle into his wounds. An hour passed and everyone held their breath hoping that Peeta wouldn't awaken while she worked on him. Katniss' complexion continued to pale.
"Here, Katniss," I addressed her. "Drink this, you'll be less queasy." She took the mug filled with a cup of water, ginger, lemon and honey.
"Thank, Prim." She scrunched her nose in disgust. "Drink all of it. You don't want it to go to waste."
After two grueling hours, mom made a patchwork on Peeta's back. She worked non-stop until all the cuts were mended with a thin line of thread interweaving his skin back together. His back would have long jagged scars that would forever remind of this fateful day. After she was done, the stitches were done with such precision and care. I hope to be at least just as good as her. I watched my sister hold back tears that threatened to fall from her eyes. She winced every time her eyes trailed down the long length of stitches that Mom completed. I gingerly applied a numbing agent to each seam.
"He's going to in so much pain when he wakes up," mom blurted. "I wish we had some morphling." Suddenly, Peeta screamed. He had awakened abruptly, his eyes frantic as he continued to scream yelling in anguish.
"Mom, do something," Katniss yelled. Peeta thrashed on top of the table.
"James, Garrett hold him down," mom bellowed. "He'll open up his stitches. Prim, give me the sleep syrup." Dad and Mr. Mellark held Peeta's arms and leg. He was strong as he nearly fell off the table taking them with him. "Keep him still." Katniss was beside herself, holding a hand to cover her mouth. "Prim, grab his head."
I reached over and placed both hands on his head. "Peeta, I know you're in pain."
"Prim?" he cried, tears ran down his eyes. "I want…make it stop."
"Keep still and drink this," Mom instructed him as she placed the vial on his clenched lips. "Peeta, stop moving or you'll open your stitches." He continued to thrash and cry in pain. "Katniss, come here and talk to him."
She walked over and knelt on the floor so she was eye to eye with Peeta. "Talk to him, calm him down."
"How?" she asked, helpless and frustrated.
"Oh, God, I'm burning...my back…it…it…"
"Just talk to him," mom encouraged her.
"Peeta, look at me," she said. "Peeta, it's me Katniss." He stopped for second as he focused his eyes. "Don't move, okay. You're only hurting yourself. Stop moving or you'll open you stitches."
"Sti…stitches? It hurts––"
"I know that it hurts. But listen, I want you to stay still. Can you stay still for me? Can you do that?" He closed his eyes and nodded. "Hey, open your eyes for me."
He opened them again. Mom handed a small vial to her. "Take a sip of this, okay? This will make you feel better, I promise." He opened his mouth and took a sip. "Just don't move any more." He sighed for second. She then, placed a hand on his head and rubbed the back of his neck. "You'll feel better soon." A few seconds later, he fell asleep.
"Thank you, Katniss," Mr. Mellark sighed in relief.
"He should sleep for he rest of the night," Mom said. She looked tired and drawn. I noticed that she rubbed her hands, massaging each digit.
"Katniss, Prim it's time for dinner," Garrett suggested. "No, Lily." He spoke to mom as she headed towards the kitchen. "Please rest. The girls can handle dinner. And, they still have homework to do."
"I'm not going to school tomorrow," Katniss announced.
"Me too," I agreed with her.
"No, you both are going to school tomorrow,"
"But––" Katniss interjected.
"Your mom will take care of Peeta and Mr. Mellark will be here when he wakes up" Dad finished. Once dad gave an order it was useless to argue with him.
Mrs. Hawthorne knocked on the door. We were surprised by her presence as she held a pot in her hand. Gale stood behind her holding a paper bag. "I made dinner…I know that Lily was busy so I hoped you don't mind."
"Thank you, Hazelle," mom returned. "It's very kind of you." She took the pot and bag from them.
"If you need anything else, Lily, please let me know," Mrs. Hawthorne added. She walked back home but Gale lingered at the doorway.
"Gale?" Dad addressed him. Gale hovered like a spectre his eyes at Katniss. There was tension in his shoulders, mouth and face. His anger towards my sister was very obvious.
"Can I talk to Katniss?" he asked, his face hard as his lips formed a thin line.
"Gale, it's late and now it not a good time," he explained. "It's been a long day I don't want you upsetting my daughter."
"But––"
"No Gale, go home," Dad returned. It usually took a lot to make Dad angry but Gale was pretty much testing his patience. Gale nodded his head but took one last look at Katniss. Her eyes didn't waiver as she kept them on the boy lying on the table. After closing the door behind him, Dad sat on the couch and rubbed his left upper leg. Mom served food Mrs. Hawthorne dropped over. It was vegetable soup with carrots, onion, peas and corn. As I bit into loaf, I moaned in pleasure. It was so good that I wanted more. I wondered where…
"This is delicious," I said. Mr. Mellark smiled as his eyes drifted towards his son.
"Peeta made a batch this morning," he sighed. I guess that answered my question. "I don't know how he does it but his always come out perfect. Light and soft in the inside while the outside is baked to the right texture and color. Perfection. He only have ever burned it once in his life." Katniss stiffened beside me. She barely touched the stew in front of her but ate the bread.
"Eat your soup Katniss," I scolded her. If she had her way, she would give me her portion as well. I noticed that she was in her own world her attention elsewhere.
"I could never be the baker that he has become," Peeta's dad admitted. "Even at a young age was he was extraordinary. Memorizing recipes much quicker than his older brothers."
He took a bite and savored it. "He grew up so fast that I didn't notice it. I don't remember when it happened…when he stop wanting comfort or support…the moment I stopped being what he needed…when he stopped confiding in me. Depending on me."
"It happens, Jimmy," Dad assured him. "Our kids grow up right before our eyes and sometimes, we miss the moment it happens."
I could never imagine not relying on my parents for comfort or support. "I lost him…I lost the little boy who needed me. Not until today."
"No matter how old they are or when they grow up and live of their own lives. They'll fall in love and have their own families. They're still your children. The one you loved and protected. They will still be a child in our eyes as we will always be their mom and dad," Mom added.
"Peeta. He's always tried to be strong, standing on his own two feet, never asking for comfort or help. I missed the little boy he once was. But there were times when he grew up, I wished that I hadn't kept my distance from him. The times he needed me the most when he was hurt or…felt like he wasn't enough.
I love him, he's my baby boy. I should have told him that everyday of his life. Peeta loves with his whole heart, something that takes courage to do. To put himself out there, knowing that he could be rejected or turned aside. He hid that part of himself for a long time away from me and away from everyone who was supposed to love him unconditionally. Yet, he still loves with the same passion and strength." I wondered if I could find a boy like that...a boy who would love me that way. It was obvious who Peeta was in love with.
That night, Mr. Mellark bunked on the couch to stay near Peeta. He asked if he could crack open the window since he slept with it open in his room. Dad couldn't refuse him. I twisted in turn in bed, restless as my mind recounted today's events. The extra blanket kept us warm as I snuggled next to Katniss. I always wanted my own room but after today, I didn't mind the comfort of having my sister with me. If it wasn't for Peeta, she could have been up there being punished with him. She was always there for me, protecting from things and people who could hurt me.
"Katniss?"
"Yeah."
"I'm really glad you're my sister," I confessed.
"I'm glad that you're my sister too," she returned.
"Peeta is going to be okay," I assured her. She looked sad and unconvinced.
"Cray will still need to find who killed his nephew," she reminded me. Oh, yeah. "He was willing to punish Peeta without any real evidence. I'm afraid what will happen when he finds the real killer. At least he doesn't know what Ivan tried to do to me."
It was time I confessed to her. Something that had been in my mind for a while. I didn't like keeping secrets from her, especially this one.
"Katniss," I started as I sat up and faced her. It was dark but a beam of light lit the room so I could see the outline of her body. "I need to tell you something."
"Okay."
"I…um…I told Dad and Mom everything," I admitted. She sat up so quickly that the mattress bounced and I almost fell of the bed. "Please don't get mad at me. I just couldn't…I couldn't keep it a secret."
"Prim…how could you," she muttered as she placed both hands on her face.
"I'm sorry but…I…they needed to know, Katniss. I love you, you're my sister and…something like that. We shouldn't be keeping secrets from Mom and Dad. Especially something so…horrible." Tears brimmed my eyes. I could tell Katniss was holding back her pain and anger. "Please don't be mad at me." She shook her head. I grabbed her and wrapped my arm around her shoulder. "I'll never know how to…if it wasn't for Peeta."
"He saved me…and all I did was stand there and let Cray––"
"He did it to protect you. And everyone involved." I bit my lower lip hoping she didn't catch my admission.
"Everyone involved? Who else knows besides Mom and Dad?" She looked horrified.
"Mr. Abernathy and Peeta's dad." The admission broke her resolve as curled into a fetal position.
"Oh, God, no…no," she cried out. "They knew?" I nodded my head.
"It's okay now."
"No, it isn't. Mr. Mellark must hate me," she said. "I let Cray…almost kill his son."
"Katniss." I lay next to her. "He doesn't, no one does. Peeta saved you."
"And he got punished for it…I was so stupid. I should have stayed at the party. Ivan wouldn't have––"
"You can't do the 'should or could haves', Katniss," I told her. "You'll drive yourself crazy thinking like that."
"This is all my fault. Peeta almost died because––"
"But he didn't and he's going to be okay," I assured her. I let her cry for a while. I was worried since she didn't after that night. She was quiet and kept to herself worrying about Peeta and how he was doing. Now, he's here. He was naked and suffering from unimaginable injuries, but alive.
"Do you believe in fate?" I asked her. She shook her head. "Because I believe that certain things happen to people for a specific reason."
"What are you saying?"
I couldn't explain to her why he…Peeta Mellark, the baker's son kept emerging in our lives. A merchant boy, someone not Seam was bound to us, to her for some reason. I could feel it. "I'm just saying that things happen for a reason, that's all." I had to let her figure it out on her own. She likes him. She just didn't want to admit it.
Just as I was about to doze off, she crept out of bed and snuck out the room. She picked up another blanket and wrapped it around her shoulders. I knew where she was headed.
Katniss POV ––
The floor was piercing cold as I crept across the living room. The cold floor stung my feet feeling the icy chill shot up to my knees. Mr. Mellark was fast asleep as his light snore reverberated in the air. He refused to leave afraid that if Peeta woke up and he wasn't there, he would be confused not knowing where he was. I was tired but not sleepy as my thoughts wandered to the boy laying on our dinner table. So much has happened in the last two weeks. My mind spun trying to make sense of it all.
Somehow, Peeta Mellark had managed to insinuate himself into my life again. And for some reason, my fate was led to the Boy with the Bread. I thought about what Prim said about fate. That fate had brought him to me. That some things or people are bound to us by some inexplicable force.
I didn't ask for it. Yet here he was naked and covered with a thick blanket sleeping in my house. He was here hurt and it was all my fault. If I could go back to that night, I would turn to Peeta and talk to him. I would have been dancing in his arms instead of fighting off Ivan as he tried to rape me. So many things I could have done differently had I not been stubborn and angry with Peeta for making me feel...I shrugged off that train of thought.
With years of hunting experience, I tiptoed towards the dining area not making a sound. I took after my father in that aspect. Mr. Mellark was exhausted mentally and physically. I could see it in his face and how he carried himself. I could never imagine how he felt watching his son almost die right before his eyes. This incident more than ever convinced me that having children was something I never wanted. Experiencing that kind of pain was too heart breaking.
I sat down next to Peet laying an arm on the table as I rested my head on top of it. My face was mere inches from his. His breath was soft and even. I was tempted to run my fingers though his hair feeling the strands between my fingertips. His hair looked silky and soft unlike mine, which was coarse and dry. I envied the thickness and texture.
The thick blanket draped over his form covered his back from the cool air that drifted through the open window. I smothered a giggle as I noticed his feet sticking out of the blanket and suspended over the table. Mom gave him enough sleep syrup to knock him out until morning. Moonbeams lit the room that I could see his long dark blonde eyelashes and furrowed eyebrows. He was…gorgeous. I could admit that, but thinking about it was waste of time. I didn't have time for thoughts of boys and love.
But with Peeta, there something about him…he was sweet and kind. The type of boy that girls swoon over because of his wavy blond tresses, his crystal blue eyes and a smile that made you weak in the knees. I wasn't that kind of girl, was I?
The next thing I knew, Mom was shaking my shoulder. "Katniss, wake up," she said. "Have you been here all night?" I shook my head from images of a little boy with curly blond hair and grey eyes holding my hand. The dream unnerved me.
"What time is it?" I asked as I stretched my aching body. There was a pinch on my neck and my feet were frozen. However, I still managed to keep Peeta's hand in mine. I was surprised that he was still asleep. "What is that?" Mom was applying a white viscous salve on Peeta's stitches.
"Mr. Abernathy stopped by early this morning," she explained. "It's to help him not get his stitches infected." On the table was a small brown bottle. "Mr. Undersee gave this for him to drop off as well. It's a bottle of morphling. He wanted Peeta to have it." Shocked but pleased, now Peeta was able to recover without experiencing too much pain. I'd have to thank him through Madge when I see her in school.
I wanted to stay and help mom with Peeta, but there wasn't much that I could do. If anyone should stay it would be Prim.
"Get ready for school," she said. "Go see if Prim is up." I turned to see that a blanket was folded on the sofa, the one that Mr. Mellark used when he stayed over. 'Where was he?'
"Where's Mr. Mellark?" I asked.
"He's outside with your dad getting firewood," she explained. Before going to bed both Dad and Mr. Mellark disappeared in the woodshed. 'What were they doing in there?' Probably dipping into Dad's liquor, the bottle he stashed in one of the cabinets. I wasn't clueless to what he hid in there. It was mostly his old mining gear and equipment but never any of his bow and arrows. He never wanted to a take the chance that the Peacekeepers would find them in there. That's why I hid mine in the woods.
It was early, a little after sunrise. I missed going out into the woods but Dad made it perfectly clear that I couldn't go out. "Too many Peacekeepers," he reminded me. Anyway, I looked down at Peeta who was still asleep while mom swiped the salve onto the stitches. I winced and turned away.
I walked into my room to find Prim not in bed. I knocked on the bathroom door. "Prim, are you in there?" I knocked again. I opened the door to find the room was empty. As I walked back into the living room, Prim walked into the house. She was already dressed with her winter jacket on and boots muddy.
"Where did you go?" I cried out in panic. Startled, she looked up with a blank look on her face.
"Just next door, Katniss," she replied calm and collect. She took off her jacket and boots and walked over to Mom.
"What did I tell you about going out without telling anyone where you were going?" Mom reprimanded her.
"I told Dad where I was going, Mom," she replied as she removed a medium size satchel from her coat. "You were running out of stuff so I went to see Oma." Before I could say another word, there was a knock on the door. I scrunched my brows in curiosity. It was too early for anyone to be up and about. I opened the door.
"Hi," Rye greeted me. He had dark circles under his eyes, his hair tousled and he was dressed as if he slept in his clothes. He also carried a big paper bag. "Can I come in?" Shocked, I nodded and opened the door wide. He went straight to his brother. Mom was just covering his back as he walked in. I was glad that Dad had already started a fire since I felt the cold chilly air passed me before I closed the door.
"How is he?" He asked as he walked over to his brother.
"Hello, Rye. Your brother slept through the night," mom answered.
"Sorry, this is for you and your family." He handed the bag to her. Mom reached in and pulled out one delicious fragrant smelling loaf of white bread just as Dad and Mr. Mellark walked in carry a load of wood. "Good morning Dad," he greeted him.
"Rye, what are you––"
"I…couldn't sleep so I made a batch of bread and brought some over," he explained as he hugged his father. "Graham is already at the shop…I wanted to know how Peeta was doing."
"He's fine, Rye," Dad assured him. Then, Peeta groaned. Everyone rushed to his side. "Peeta, son?"
"Dad," he said. He blinked his eyes a few times and then winced. "What…where are we?" He looked at everyone then…his eyes found mine. His eyelids fluttered open and closed as tears appeared brimming his eyes.
"Hey, Peeta," Rye said, greeting his brother with a brush of his hand on his head.
"Peeta?" Mom spoke as she leaned down to him. "How are you feeling?"
"My back…it's on fire," he whispered as he tried to rise from the table placing his hands on the surface. His arms trembled as he rose to his knees. The blanket that covered his body slipped revealing his naked state. It hung dangerously low on his lower back that I noticed a small birth mark on his left hip near his…I blushed and turned my head when my eyes trailed up his torso and saw a patch of hair on his muscular chest. The hair was darker than his hair on his head, a lot like his eye lashes. I wondered if his hair down….
"Peeta, don't move," she said. She handed him a white pill, which I assumed was the morphling and cup of water. He took the medication without any question or argument trusting my mom. A few seconds later his body relaxed as the morphling entered his system.
"I…need…need," he continued. His face turned bright pink. "I got…to go…I got to…"
"You're not going anywhere, young man," his dad admonished him. Peeta wanted to leave. How could he? He was still injured and not in any condition to be anywhere but here with my Mom and sister to help him.
"Dad, I got to go…" he winced. "I need to use the bathroom." Mom retrieved a bowl from the bathroom while Rye and I moved to the living room.
Peeta shook his head when he saw the bowl. "Bathroom," he winced in pain.
"Peeta, you can't move. I'll place a bowl beneath you so you can––"," she instructed him. He shook his head in embarrassment. "Peeta, you're in no condition to move. Now, you will lift you hip–"
"I can't," he cried.
"Peeta, you can't––" his dad started.
"I can't move my hips," he finished. So his dad lifted his hip while mom slipped the bowl beneath him. Prim stood beside her watching Peeta. I gestured my head and hand for her to leave and let Peeta do his business in private.
"What?" She walked over to stand beside Rye and me. His brother had a hand over his mouth to hide a smile on his face.
"Give him some privacy, I don't think he'd appreciate you watching him take a pee," I explained. I wouldn't. There were too many people in the room as it was.
"Katniss, he's isn't the first person I've seen…naked or use the bowl to relieve himself, you know," she huffed in annoyance and amusement. That was true, but this naked person was Peeta. Peeta Mellark, a sixteen-year old boy with luscious blond hair, blue eyes and a body of healthy virile young man. Ugh, I have got to keep my mind focused.
A few seconds later, he lay back down relieved and embarrassed.
"Are you hungry, Peeta?" Prim asked as if nothing happened. "Rye brought some bread over. You got to be hungry." She went to the kitchen and appeared a few minutes later with a few slices of bread lathered with butter that Rye brought with the bread. Mom followed her with two mugs filled coffee and tea.
"Peeta, your dad said that you like tea. I hope you that you…Peeta?" Mom looked down. Alarmed, Mr. Mellark stood up to find Peeta was asleep. "Poor thing," Mom said as she reached down and rubbed the back of his head. She ruffled his hair the way I had been tempted to. "Among all your boys, James, he's the one that looks a lot like you."
Mr. Mellark smiled, a smile that held pride on his face.
"He's a looker, that one he is," Dad added. "I bet you had a hard time having all those girls chasing after your boys."
"Yeah, at least I have two down and one more to go," Mr. Mellark commented. "Rye insisted that he wanted to get married after Peeta's 18th birthday, but Peeta convinced him to get married before the next reaping ceremony."
Rye smiled back. "He said that he didn't want me to waste anymore time waiting. Delly and I will have our toasting a week before the reaping."
It was odd having the Mellarks in the house as if they have been guests in our home for years. Dad and Mr. Mellark talked with ease while Rye sat next to his brother keeping him company while he slept.
"He looks better," Prim announced disrupting my thoughts. Peeta's complexion was deathly pale and he looked withdrawn as if he aged ten years. He wasn't the vibrant boy I knew a few days ago though the color of his eyes were piercing blue as ever. "I wished mom and dad would let me stay to help. Do you think Cray will still be after him?"
"He won't stop looking until he finds out who killed his nephew," I answered. Cray may have believed that Peeta didn't murder his nephew but I suspect that there is something else he's hiding. The next thing we knew it was time to go to school.
I wasn't looking forward to going as I remembered that I announced that Peeta and I were together. The declaration was to save him, but now I must face the consequences. One consequence also meant confronting Gale. He was at the moment working at the mines so I had a bit of a reprieve. However I now realized I had my classmates to gossip about Peeta and me.
"Bye, Peeta," Prim said to him while he slept. "I'll see you when I get back from school."
"He'll be okay, Katniss," Dad assured me.
"He'll be sleeping most of the time," Mom added. "Sleeping will help him heal faster. I'll be giving me a sponge bath while he's out." I blushed at the thought. It was best that Prim and I wasn't here for that. I mean it wasn't that I haven't seen men's…thingy, you know?
"While he's out, do you think he could give him a haircut?" his dad teased. "I've been wanting him to get his hair cut for weeks. But Delly's been so busy with school and the bakery." 'Please don't cut his hair,' my mind screamed. The last time he had a haircut it was so short. I missed seeing how tips of hair curled as it got longer. And, 'Delly cuts his hair?'
"Go or both of you will be late," Dad asserted.
The walk to school was tense as Prim and I passed through town. Both Seam and Merchant classmates stared at us, or rather me more than usual. It got worse as I entered the school building. I heard everything and everyone's whispers and comments.
"Why her? She's not all that." One Merchant girl commented.
"I thought she was with Gale. Does that mean he's available?" A Seam girl asked her friends. 'Have at him,' I mentally said back.
I have heard everything I wanted to hear from 'he's just slumming, it's no wonder he doesn't date, she's a slut' to ' she doesn't deserve him.' The last comment made my blood boil.
By morning break, I was tense, uneasy and angry with everyone. I lingered at my locker avoiding the playground. Both Seam and Merchant classmates stared at me during and after class. All everyone talked about was my 'relationship' with Peeta, not how he almost died when Cray was whipping him or that he accused him of killing his nephew.
At lunch Madge was quiet not knowing what to say. I bit her head off when she asked how I was doing. "Don't be mad at me, Katniss. I know that our classmates are talking behind your back. I haven't done any wrong." Then, I remembered that her father gave Haymitch the morphling for Peeta. Anger turned to shame.
"I'm sorry Madge," I apologized as a headache formed on the top of my skull. "You're right and I didn't mean to be short with you. It's just..."
"I know, Katniss. It's all everyone is talking about. Most of the girls both Seam and Merchant…like Peeta. They adore him. If you only knew how many…talk about wanting to take him to the slagheap."
"What?" I asked. I knew that the rumor was that many of my classmates 'visited' the slagheap.
"One time, Stella Moore thought she saw him there a year ago," Madge said. Stella was in Peeta's class. She was also the biggest gossip in our school. She blabbed about anyone whether you were Merchant or Seam. That's how I knew Gale frequented the place. However, Peeta's name was rarely mentioned. Until now.
"Did she see him?"
"Yeah, she was shocked because everyone knew he didn't go there so…"
The idea that Peeta took a girl there…sickened and disappointed me. How could he?
"…so Peeta found out that she was telling everyone that he was there with Delly. And boy, did he…he was so mad. Because, you know Delly sort a…had a crush on him." Huh, what?
"What are you talking about?"
"Well, Stella was right that she saw a Mellark there, but she was talking about the wrong one. At the time, everyone thought that Rye was with what's her name…before he got together with Delly." Delly Cartwright was in the same class as Peeta since she was a year older than him.
"Delly had a crush on Peeta?" 'What?' His brother's fiancée had as crush on Peeta?
"What, no? Katniss, you're not paying attention. I said that Stella caught Rye with Delly at the slagheap, not Peeta. She thought it was Peeta instead of Rye. Because, you know they both look alike in some ways." I couldn't see it. Peeta was shorter and lean while Rye and Graham were tall and stocky. There was no way I could mistake Rye for Peeta. He was…cuter.
"Then to find out that you're with Peeta and had been keeping it a secret." Not that it was true, but what was wrong with Peeta wanting me? "Not that's anything wrong with you and Peeta but…the fact that you two kept it a secret." She stopped then started. "You are with him, right?"
I debated to tell her the truth, but if I told her everything. Then she too would be involved with our secret and lies. "Peeta and I…it's complicated." Boy, was it complicated. I cleared my throat. I had to change the subject. It was making me…uncomfortable. "I wanted to thank you or at least thank your dad for the morphling."
"My mom has as few bottles she won't miss." She shrugged her shoulders. "Besides, I like Peeta. It was…he didn't deserve it." I agreed with her. I searched the playground looking for Prim. She was with her friends sitting quietly as her friends talked beside her. As I glanced to the left, a whole table of Merchant girls was glaring at my direction obviously talking about me. It was the same group of girls who gawked at him a couple of weeks ago when he was drawing during lunch before the celebration and the incident with Ivan.
Today felt like the longest day in school so when the last bell rang, I ran out to my locker and shoved my books in my bag. I met Prim outside and rushed to get back home. We passed the bakery to find both Seam and Merchant coming in and out of the shop. It seem that Mrs. Mellark's absence brought new business for them.
Just as we passed the edge of town, I was confronted by none other than Agatha Berridge. She stopped right in front of Prim and me blocking our path. She was the last person I ever wanted to talk to.
"Is it true?" she blurted her teeth gnashed together. I knew what she was referring to but ignored her as we tried to get past her. "I'm talking to you Katniss Everdeen." She said my name with disgust.
"What do you want, Agatha?" I returned with equal revulsion as I tried not to imagine her chasing and flirting with Peeta.
"Is it true that Peeta Mellark is…that you two are together?" Prim gripped my hand. "I wouldn't have believed it if I didn't hear myself yesterday." So she too was there when Peeta was whipped in front of the Justice Building.
"Well, then if you were there why bother asking me?"
"I think you're lying. I think Peeta just took you to the 'heap' for some fun and now you're latching on to him," she spat. "He deserves better than you." I wished that people would stop saying that. "You should do yourself a favor and just stay away from him."
"Why? So you could have him? He doesn't want you. He's with me so why don't you leave him alone."
"Mrs. Mellark spoke with my mother…Peeta and I are better match than you will ever be for him. They were about to sign––"
"Stop talking about Peeta like something you can buy over the counter. He's a person…a person who has a choice to be who he wants in his life." She was actually a good match for him. She was Merchant from a good prestigious family. Did he want her? Peeta deserves better than Agatha Berridge.
"You need to leave him alone––"
"No, you need to leave Peeta alone." 'He's not…yours,' my mind screamed at her.
My angered simmered to a point that I walked back home in silence. 'How dare she thinks she could have Peeta like some dress she can order?' The fact that his own mother would sell him off like that because she had…good breeding? She should pick on someone…her own age. Argh! I felt bad for Peeta.
To my dismay, while Peeta stayed at the house he slept for two consecutive days. He only woke up to eat soup and a piece of bread only to go back to sleep. I knew he needed the sleep to heal but…I wanted a chance to talk to him. Mr. Mellark felt guilty for intruding and disrupting our home.
"I can have Graham and Rye carry him back home," he suggested. "I want him home in his own bed."
"He's still in great pain, James," Mom told him. "He needs to stay still for another day or two." Mom was scared to move him since she didn't want his stitches to break open if we moved him to someplace more comfortable.
"Why don't you go home and we'll take care of him. You can't do anything for him right now but…worry."
"I don't want Peeta to think I left him alone…that I…"
"You're not abandoning him, Jimmy," Dad clarified. "He's safe here with us. I don't think my girls mind that he's here." Prim nodded her head as I agreed silently even though he was sleeping on our only dining table. And the table we used to do out homework.
Mr. Mellark finally relented and went back home with a promise from mom that she would send word once he was fully awake and feeling better.
School was the same. But, the gossip about Peeta and me settled down when a new rumor was spread. This time the new rumor was that the MockingJay was in District 12. Because of it, Cray implemented a new curfew and the electrical fence was switched on. No one was allowed to be outside after 7pm. All businesses were closed at 3pm instead of 5pm. It didn't matter for the bakery since their shop closed around that time. The only problem now is that I can't go hunting. Food was getting low at our house.
On the third day Peeta was awake and alert from having slept the past two days. He was quiet and somber only talking when questioned. The only thing he wanted to know was when he would be able to go back home.
"I want…to sleep on my bed," he said. "I don't want to take anymore of your time, Mrs. Everdeen." He confessed that he felt like an inconvenience.
"Peeta, you're still on the mend," Mom told him. "If you want to lie down, Mr. Everdeen and I can set you up to lie down on the couch. If that'll make you feel more comfortable."
Peeta bit his lower lip. "I want to go home."
"You can't just yet. I don't feel comfortable sending you home until the stitches are fully healed."
"Okay," he sighed sad and wistful.
Since his stitches were healing mom dressed him with a clean button down shirt, boxer shorts and loose cotton pants that Delly brought the first day he arrived. Then mom had to leave because Mrs. Hurley's pregnant daughter, Grace was four days overdue. When suddenly, her husband dragged mom out of the house saying that her water broke. So Prim was in charge of taking care of Peeta.
"It's cold so it okay to wear a shirt," Prim told him. "But don't button it up. It needs to be loose so the shirt isn't pressing onto your back." He nodded his head but looked uncertain. "What, Peeta? What's wrong?"
"I…I…my head itches," he said. I knew that mom had been giving him sponge baths but his head was unwashed. For emphasis, he reached over and scratched the hair behind his right ear. His fingers dug into his skull. His hair looked matted and dirty.
"I'm sorry, Peeta," Prim returned. "She couldn't wash your hair since you've been sleeping for the past couple of days. Do you want to wash it now?" He dipped his head down and continued to bite his lower lip. "It's not an problem if that's what you're worried about. I could help you."
"I'm sorry…I want to do it myself but…" his voice trailed off. He blushed from embarrassment. It was nice to see color in cheeks again.
"Don't be silly, Peeta," Prim interjected. "I'll help you if you want." I scowled and dad snickered. I was about to object when she walked to the kitchen and prepared a pot of hot water pulling a basin out of a cupboard.
"I'll be right back. I need to go get the soap from the bathroom and a clean towel," she said. 'What the hell?' I looked at dad hoping he would object and all he did was shrug his shoulders.
"The boy needs his hair washed," Dad stated as if it was a normal occurrence. "Prim can take care of that."
A few minutes later, operation 'Wash Peeta's Hair' commenced. For the life of me I couldn't understand how dad could let Prim…touch Peeta that way. I mean, it was intimate, something mom that should be doing not my 14 year old sister. I wondered if…'Does Prim have a crush on Peeta?' No, that's impossible I knew that Rory has been hanging around her.
I tried not to stare as Prim poured water onto his blond head. He was face down with his head at the edge of the table. Dad placed the basin below him. "It's not too hot, Peeta?" Prim asked him.
"No, it perfect," he sighed.
With the bar of soap, Prim lathered her hands then scrubbed his hair. I glowered realizing that she took her time cleaning his hair. A few seconds later, Peeta giggled. Giggled? "Sorry, I'm ticklish behind the ears."
"Sorry," she returned laughing back. The wash took too long as I watched her wash his head then rinsed his hair. She rubbed his hair dry with a towel like he was…a pet dog. 'What? Is she going to rub his belly next?' They both giggled like children at play. Then, she placed a new dry towel on his head since the night air was chilly. "Keep it on until it dries, okay?"
"Thanks, Prim," Peeta said with a big smile on his face. "I feel a whole lot better." I scoffed at them. Prim looked at me with her brows furrowed.
"Do you have a comb I can use," he asked. I wanted to…smack him. Because he was still immobile Prim combed his hair parting off to the left side. I scoffed remembering that Peeta parted on his right.
"The next time…" Prim started. 'Oh no, there isn't going to be a next time,' I swore in my head as Prim replaced the dry towel on his wet hair.
Later that night Peeta lay on the couch while Prim read to him. Seeing them together made me realize the friendship that had formed between them. They talked easily with each other like as if they had known each other for a long time. He was attentive and patient as Prim talked his head off. I would catch him sending fleeting glances towards me when he thought I wasn't looking.
"Prim," Dad's voice interrupted my musing. He gestured to Peeta who fast asleep. "I think you tired him out." She smiled. I didn't understand dad would allow and encourage the friendship that was obvious between them.
"It's time for bed for the both of you," he continued. Mom was still away tending to Grace. Probably staying through the night.
A few hours later, something had awoken me from my sleep. I lay in bed for a few seconds listening to the wind howl in the air. Then, I heard it. It was Peeta. I quickly ran to the room. "Peeta?" A shaft of light slanted into the room. Amidst the darkness I could see the tears that tracked down his ruddy cheeks. "Peeta?" I whispered as I placed a hand to his face. He was having a bad dream. "Hey, you're okay."
For a few minutes he continued to moan in his sleep. I pressed a hand against his forehead feeling his sweaty skin. "Shh, you're okay, Peeta. You're safe." The temptation was great as I finally succumbed my need to touch his hair. It was as I expected, soft and silky. I couldn't handle watching him in pain so I rubbed the base of head in small circular pattern. After a few minutes, he became quiet. I traced his furrowed brows with my finger. He opened his eyes slow then he closed it again.
"Peeta," I whispered. My voice sounded loud in the still of the night. His breath was soft and light. My mouth was dry as I opened it but no words befell my quivering lips. A few seconds later, I found my voice.
"I...I don't know how to…what I'm trying to say is…thank you. Thank you for saving me that night. Thank you for watching over me even though…I've been…" I sighed my throat tighten as I tried to find the words. "You saved me…you saved me years ago and I never thanked you. You saved me from Ivan and I never go the chance to thank you. I don't know why it is that you're there whenever I…needed you." I thought about that night. How things could have different if had made the other choices.
He sighed in his sleep. I wished he were awake but panicked at the thought of me talking to him while he slept. Confessing my feelings and thoughts in a cowardly way. I waited for the moment when we were alone and I finally found the courage to talk to him…in his sleep.
I sighed in frustration. "What is it about you that makes me want to throttle you and hug you at the same time? Why do you have…an affect on me? No one aggravates me the way you do…"
I felt vulnerable, grateful and scared. A combination of emotions that were new to me. I looked at him, really looked at him with my eyes and…my mind open. "You're the only person, boy to have ever shattered my resolve about things in my life. Things I dare not want or dare to need. Things that Gale wanted…no demanded with me." My mind was befuddled with thoughts of the Boy with the Bread, the same boy who threw the bread and saved my life twice; two occurrences in my life that has changed me forever.
The next morning, it was my dad who found me on the floor next to Peeta with my head close to his. "You sleeping with young Mellark again," Dad teased me. There was a twinkle in his eyes. He knew that I was not with Peeta but consorted to keep my lie alive. Why? I asked myself.
"Is mom home yet?" I ignored his tease and waited for me to scold me for 'sleeping with Peeta.' It never happened.
"Not yet. You know that labor may hours before she gets home," he reminded me. Mom had been gone for at least 12 hours. Eww…twelve hours in labor? Another reason why to not have children.
After a few days, I had managed to avoid Gale. Our confrontation was a conversation I knew needed to happen but was loath to discuss. I pretty much put Gale in the back of my mind since thought of my confrontation with Agatha preoccupied my thoughts.
At school my mind wandered back to the boy still sleeping on the sofa at my home. Even Madge teased me about having a handsome virile young boy sleeping at my house. "Prim told her classmates that Peeta has been sleeping on your sofa naked," she chortled.
"Katniss? Katniss?" Prim called out as she walked beside me.
"What?" I snapped out of my reverie
"Look." She pointed at our house, which came into view. Sitting on the steps was…Gale. His arms rested on his bent knees. I could tell he came directly from work. He stood up and walked over to us.
"I took an early shift so I could talk to you," he explained. Oh dear God, it was bad enough to confront Agatha. She was unexpected. The look of anger on his face hadn't diminished.
"Prim, go inside," I instructed her.
"Are you sure?"
"She said get in the house, Prim?" Gale yelled.
"Hey, don't you dare talk to Prim like that," I bellowed back. Prim was about to enter the house when I grabbed her arm. "You know what? I think I want Prim to stay."
"No, I need to talk to you alone." He stood towering over me. It was a tactic Gale used to intimidate me.
"Katniss, maybe you and Gale should talk alone," Prim said.
"Prim, I would like for you to stay," I said as she gripped my hand. She nodded her head. Gale stared at the both of us for a few seconds. 'He wanted to have a staring contest?' I could do that.
"I need to know…I need to know the truth that what you said about you and Mellark was true," Gale demanded. His hands clenched by his side. "That you have been seeing Peeta Mellark."
I looked at my best friend. It hurt knowing that I couldn't be what he wanted me to be for him, that I should feel what he felt for me. I didn't…I couldn't.
"And why is that any of your business?" I barked back.
"It is my business since you're been telling me that you never wanted to get married or have children––"
"And I still don't,' I bit back.
"So you're with Mellark because––"
"He has a name Gale! He's name is Peeta."
"I don't care. All I know is that for months you've been telling me that you didn't want to get married and have children. So I realized that you've been lying to me," he stated.
"I haven't lied to you. I don't want to get married or have children." The fact was true. But… "Just because I said that didn't mean that I didn't object to anything else."
My statement stung Gale. I could tell it hurt him. "So what you're really saying is that you don't want marriage or children but you're having a relationship with Peeta Mellark?" I swallowed the lie that sputtered out of my mouth.
"Yes," I confirmed.
"Why didn't you just…for months I've been waiting for you to change your mind. That if I wanted long enough you'd see that 'we' belong together. And all this time you've been…fucking Peeta Mellark. The youngest and most pathetic Merchant boy in the district."
I gasped in horror. Leave it to Gale to diminish my pretend relationship with Peeta to something as sordid and…vile. I could never imagine Peeta getting into a relationship with any girl for just sex. He wasn't like that, and to insult his character. Peeta wasn't pathetic.
I released Prim's hand. With all the strength I could muster I pulled my arm back and slapped him hard on the face that he stumbled back. "Don't you ever talk about Peeta that way ever?"
"Peeta is the sweetest and kindest boy I know," Prim added. "You're just jealous of him."
"Jealous?" Gale scoffed with disgust. "Why should I be jealous of him?"
"Because Katniss like him and he's our friend. You don't like Katniss having friends especially if they're Merchant," Prim stated. "You don't any right to tell Katniss who she likes and who she can be friends with." I was proud of Prim for telling his off but…
"So you like Peeta––" Gale started.
"Prim." I turned to my sister. It was time that I set Gale straight with my 'relationship' with Peeta. After all he was my best friend and keeping his friendship was important to me. "Go inside the house, I need to talk to Gale alone." Prim looked surprised but obeyed me.
After seeing her enter the house, I looked at Gale. His face was hard and a small bruise was forming on his right cheek. "I'm sorry Gale, I should have been honest with you from the start."
"Are you in love with him?"
"What?"
"With Peeta Mellark. Are you in love with Peeta?" The question paralyzed me body and mind. I knew nothing of romantic love. I was already confused with the feelings he left me but love? I wasn't sure of anything.
I shook my head. "I'm not in love with him," I admitted. I knew little of him to love him but maybe in time…
"Then why are you with him? Are you really together?" I walked towards his home not wanting mom, dad, Prim and Peeta to hear us. This conversation was too personal.
"Yes." I lied. I lied to protect Peeta. I lied to protect myself. But there one thing I could admit to him and to myself. "I don't love him but I do like him." I like him a lot but I wasn't admitting to Gale.
"Really," he scoffed again. "You know what? I should have known. I should have known that you were like any girl in the district." What? "I thought you were different, but you're not. You're just like the rest of them." I didn't like what he was implying.
"Oh, yeah and just how am I just like them?" I asked. I knew that whatever he said next was the end of our relationship.
"You're a tease. All this time I thought you were good and pure. That you wouldn't be like the girls that used guys to get what they wanted. To be a fucking tease pretending that you're innocent when you're really nothing but a slut opening your legs to a merchant boy who can lure you with pretty words and lies. I didn't think you'd be that stupid to fall for his big blues eyes and blond hair."
"You shut the fuck up," I said to him. It hurt that my best friend thought of me that way. I knew he struck back in anger but to be vile and hurtful. I was beyond hurt. "Is that how you see me?"
"I see what I see," Gale spat back.
"And what about you, Gale?" I struck back. "You claim to love me but it's okay for you to whore yourself with all those girls while you're supposedly waiting for me. How is that fair and you say that you love me?"
"I'm a guy." Oh, well. That answers everything. "What was I suppose to do? Wait? Wait for you to discover that you've been fucking with Mellark all along. I love you!"
"I love you too, Gale." He moved towards me grabbing my arms.
"Then why––"
"But not like that," I said to him soft and low. "Not the way you want me to. I love you like a brother, a friend." His hands gripped my upper arms tight that it hurt. I looked down and found broken skin and bruises on his knuckles. Then, I remembered. I remembered what Haymitch said that day.
"If Peeta beat up Ivan then he should have cuts and bruises on his hands. Look at his hands, damnit." So I looked and didn't like what I saw.
"Gale, how did you hurt your hands?" I inquired. He backed off startled, rubbed his hands together as he looked down on them. "Where did you get those bruises?"
"I got them working in the mines," he lied. I knew when he lied. His left eye twitched and then he'd look away avoiding eye contact.
"No, you're lying to me. I can tell you are."
"I'm not––"
"Tell me the truth?" He didn't budge as he hid his hands inside his pant pockets. "One way or another I'm going to find the truth so you might as well tell me." I watched his Adam's apple bob up and down his neck. Sweat trickled down his throat and formed on his forehead.
"Rory," he started. "Rory told me what happened at the night of the celebration. How Ivan almost…"
I gasped in horror. Gale knew. He knew that Ivan almost raped me and he…
"What did you do?" I bit back the anger that simmered in my chest. "What did you do?"
"I made sure Ivan would never hurt you again." I hide my face with my hands. My stomach clenched as bile rose up my throat. Then it dawned on me what he hadn't done.
"So…when Peeta was being whipped to death you just stood there," I said. "You stood there knowing that Cray was accusing him of beating up his nephew."
"I…" Gale started.
"You stood there…letting him punish Peeta for something you did." Then another thought crossed my mind. "Did you kill Ivan?"
"No, fuck no," Gale yelled. "I swear to you that I didn't, Katniss. I didn't kill him. I beat the crap out of him and told him to leave you alone." I laughed with bitterness and resentment tainting my emotion of disbelief as well. "But I should have."
"You should have?" I retorted back. "You wanted to kill him…and let Peeta take the fall? Like the way you let him for beating up Ivan?" The thought sickened me. "How could you?"
"I know I should have said something," he said. "I guess, I could have said that Peeta and I got into a fight since I did punch him in the face––"
"You what?" Oh my God, so that's how he got the black eye and busted lip. It was Gale and not his mother for once.
"I was drunk and we just had a fight, then he showed up asking for you like some damn puppy and––"
"So you got into a fight?"
"No, I…was really mad at you. And then he came along asking for you. I just saw red and I hit him…twice. The pussy didn't even hit me back because he's a coward."
I shoved him hard pushing him on the chest that he fell on his ass. "He's not a coward. A coward wouldn't have saved me from Ivan who was bigger and stronger than him. A coward wouldn't let someone else take the blame for beating up Cray's nephew. A coward wouldn't fight a drunk and take advantage of him. He saved my life and you hit him because you were jealous?" This was what Peeta kept to himself. That Gale punched him that night. He didn't want me to know about it.
"Katniss, please listen to me," he begged. His demeanor changed from anger to…I don't know what. "Listen, things are happening in this district."
"Like what?" I said between clenched teeth. My mind still reeled on the knowledge that Gale stood there, not speaking up for Peeta.
"You know the rumors going around? That the MockingJay is in District 12."
"And what does that have to do with anything?" I was beyond confused, angry and frustrated.
"I didn't, couldn't say anything because I'm…I volunteered to go on a mission for the MockingJay." I struggled between disbelief and anger at Gale.
"So…what you're telling me is that you sacrificed Peeta's life so you can go on a 'mission' for some guy you met? You met MockingJay?"
"I didn't exactly speak to him or meet him?" He looked sheepish.
"Oh, my God, Gale. How do you even know that you're mission is legitimate? You could be walking into a trap."
"There's a small group of rebels here that have been working with him and their leader asked me," he admitted. This was all too much to absorb. But there was one thing that stuck in my mind. Gale practically called me a liar when I told Cray that I was with Peeta on the night he was killed. Prim, Rory and myself did what we could to help Peeta. Only Gale who was filled with anger and jealousy was willing to let Peeta take the fall for beating up Ivan because he had a mission. All he had to do was tell Cray that he beat up Peeta. That Peeta didn't have an altercation with Ivan but with him. But Gale was too focused on his jealousy with Peeta and his 'mission.'
I knew how important the rebellion was to him. He wanted a war against the Capitol. My priority was my family to survive and keep Prim safe.
"Can't you see, Katniss," he continued. "This could be the beginning. I know that you're scared to marry and have children because of the games. But if…no when we go to war. We can end the games. We can get rid of Snow and the Capitol controlling our lives. You don't have to be afraid anymore."
It's so like Gale to dismiss my feelings as if I don't know my own mind or heart. "You don't have to be afraid to love someone…to love me back. We can get married and have children––"
"Oh my God, Gale," I shouted. "You're not listening to me. I don't want to marry you and have children. I don't love you that way. How many times do I have to tell you that…that I don't have feelings for you that way."
"You don't love me? But you're carrying on with a merchant…sleeping with him. Hiding your relationship with him?" he reiterated. He repeated it as if he's trying to drive it into his head that it wasn't true and real. I realized that in order for Gale to move forward in his life, I had to back up my lie.
"Well, it's not a secret anymore is it. Everyone knows now that I have a relationship with Peeta. His father knows so does my parents. It's all out in the open."
"And your parents are okay with that. That your boyfriend is Merchant?" He spat boyfriend like it was a dirty and disgusting word.
"And what is wrong with that? Did you forget that my mother is Merchant?" I retaliated. "Prim is half merchant." The air between us grew thick. The sun disappeared into the horizon. I was so focused on confronting Gale that we both failed to see the audience around us. People gawked and stared at us. It was embarrassing and humiliating. Seam folks poked their heads out their windows. I looked towards my home. Dad and mom stood at the front porch. God, I hoped they didn't hear us fighting in the middle of the road.
"We're done, Gale. I'm done talking about this," I told him in a tone that only he could hear. "Go on your mission. Join the MockingJay and his rebels. I have a family to take care of."
"Katniss––" he pleaded. "Please understand that I had to––"
"Save yourself, I know," I completed for him. "I do love you Gale, like I love my dad, mom and sister. You need to move on."
He dropped his head in resignation. "I love you too, Katniss. And I'm sorry."
"Me too, Gale. Me too." I accepted his apology but I'll never forget what he did. All I knew was that the war was coming and once again, Peeta had bound his life with mine. I am reminded of what Prim said about fate. That fate brought him into my life. I couldn't argue with it or ignore it. I had to accept it whether I wanted to or not. It was inevitable.
AN: Thank you for reading this chapter. I'm really glad that you all enjoyed reading the last chapter. Thank you for all the reviews and comments from FlyingFaeriesDance, ana, Nenahh, Nai1987, Tsukune08, loveROMONIEandEVERLARK, pumpkinking5, 32sheshe, wonderishome, Pearlfever, betazoid4, OneLiner, Shellibug, LACR, WhosJazzy, Browniangel, Tea43 and guest. Thanks again. Please leave any comments or reviews at your leisure. They are greatly appreciated. Have a great weekend.