Chapter 12 – Guess Who's Coming To Dinner
AN: Oh my, thank you for all the reviews and comments. I am so pleased that everyone is enjoying reading 'Destiny.' You guys are awesome. Thanks to hstrywlk, Shellibug, pistonsfan75, Nenaah, pumpkinking5, Lhaine07, LACR, jmjames, Nai1987, J, wonderishome, Ines123 and guests. This chapter has Haymitch, Peeta and Katniss' POV and is rated R for foul language. Hunger Games belongs to Suzanne Collins.
Haymitch POV ––
"What the fuck!" I screamed as freezing ice water poured down my head and sliced through my clothes. My first reaction was to swing my carving knife at my 'assailant.' The cold freezing water filled my eyes and chilled my skin. I'll ask for forgiveness later if I accidentally kill an innocent bystander. But in the meantime, I swung back and forth until my mind and eyes were focused.
"Hello, Mitch," a voice registered in my head. I opened my eyes.
"Fuck, Jay," I screamed. "Do you have to do that all the time?" This was déjà vu from the last time he awoke me the same way. God damnit, why do I keep forgetting to remember to lock my damn door? I realized that it wouldn't have matter since Jay easily entered my home lock or no locked door to stop him. He was resourceful.
"I tried budging you for the last ten minutes," he said as he shrugged his head. "Nothing worked. The ice water worked the last time. I thought you said you were trying to stay sober?"
"It's been a rough couple of weeks," I confessed. I swiped water off my eyes and face. "What are you doing here? It's not safe for you to be here?" I said in a whisper my teeth gnashed together.
"I checked out the rooms before I woke you." He gestured to a gadget in his hand. It was a machine to detect listening devices. "Your house is clean."
"I could have told you that," I snorted. Since the celebration, I had routinely searched my home for bugs. I was paranoid. It was better to be safe than sorry. Too much was at stake.
"I'm keeping my head down, Mitch," he said. There something in his eyes that disturbed me. He sighed. "No one knows I'm here."
"With everything that's been going on, you have to know that this district is the last place you should be hiding in. What if you get caught? What if someone saw you?"
"I'm being careful. It's amazing how easy it is to blend in," he chuckled. I looked at his clothing. He wasn't wearing his 'uniform.' He wore a worn out cotton blend shirt and pants with scuffed boots. He did looked like one of us.
"That's not the point," I uttered. "Listen, Cray is on a rampage. You're lucky that his focus right now is finding who killed his nephew. It doesn't mean you can be reckless."
"I know," Jay returned. "This is the perfect time to execute our plans since he's distracted." He smiled for a moment then his demeanor changed. He looked pensive and uneasy.
"What's wrong?" I've known Jay for most of my life. I could tell that something was bothering him.
"I just…" he started. "I'm concern about sending Hawthorne. He worries me."
"I know what you mean." I too was concerned. Gale was distracted. His involvement with Cray to cause trouble for Peeta showed me where his mind was focused. We couldn't afford to rely on him if he was too busy 'fixing' his love life with Katniss. Any sensible human being would realize that if the girl you love doesn't love you back and is involved with someone else, you should get over her and move on. Gale couldn't. What is it about Katniss that both Gale and Peeta saw in her? I just didn't get it.
"We need an alternate," Jay disrupted my thoughts.
"Who else can we send?" There weren't a lot of people in the district who knew the woods. There was only one other...
"I don't like what you're suggesting," I croaked. The fact that Jay was suggesting another alternate now astounded me. "There is no way that her family would agree to it."
"If we can't trust Gale. Our only option is to send Katniss Everdeen," he announced. "She is capable of finding her way to District 13."
"No, I wouldn't even suggest it," I said. Katniss was capable. I was sure of it, but the idea of sending her alone?
"Listen, I'm not saying that we are going to send her," Jay said. "All I'm saying is that she is an option. And I don't mean sending her all alone either. She'll need help." I scoffed. Katniss was proud of her ability as a hunter. She balked at the idea of having someone to accompany her, but this was beyond hunting and snaring game. The mission was dangerous.
"She won't do it," I added. "She has her family to care of. She doesn't even know about our plans. We're set to execute it before the reaping."
"You can pick her up to speed." I shook my head. "I'm just saying just in case we can't rely on Hawthorne."
"You really trust her…you would send Katniss to District 13?" I was flummoxed at his suggestion.
"She is capable––"
"She is but that doesn't she will agree to it. Have you mentioned your suggestions to the others?" He shook his head.
"You forget that I have considered every single person in this district. We can't send a Merchant. It has to be someone from the Seam side. One goes missing and Cray can care less. To him one less person from the Seam is one less person he's responsible for. Only a few Merchants are aware of what's going on. We can't trust most of them."
"I can't…the idea is to send Katniss…I'll tell you she won't leave her family," I stumbled to complete my sentences.
"Give her an incentive."
"What?"
"She needs a reason to fight for our cause––"
"She'll only volunteer if she's forced to and I'm not going to force her," I stated. "This war is difficult as it is, Jay. We can't force people to join our cause. They need to come to us on their own."
Jay sighed. "Listen, all I'm saying is that Hawthorne is unstable. How do know he won't turn on us the way he turned on Katniss?"
"He won't betray us. Gale…he hates the Capitol. I can admit that he hates them more than anyone."
"But not enough to know his priorities," he reminded me. "Someone should have a nice long chat with him." Gale was outspoken with his hate for Snow and the Capitol. I wasn't surprised when he volunteered. I had expected it.
"Listen, Jay. I'll speak to Gale," I told him. "After the last incident, I think that he knows where he fits in Katniss' life. He'll concentrate on the mission." Or at least I hoped he would.
"Haymitch, I know that we haven't been eye to eye in the decision I've made in the past," Jay started. 'Oh, hell what now?' my mind formulated. "But at least we agree in one thing––that now is the time to act, to free Panem from Snow." I nodded my head. The last rebellion failed in epic proportion. All the districts maneuvered in their own without a single leader to guide them. We had the strength in numbers but what we needed most was unity from Panem, to fight together as twelve districts not warring individually.
"The existence of District 13 has been confirmed," he stated. My eyes bulged in surprise. Well, that came from out of nowhere.
"How do you know that?" It was the reason why we were sending Gale, to confirm their existence.
"I was…contacted."
"By whom?" I was flabbergasted. District 13 existed.
"I cannot reveal who but I need you to know that they will stand by us with a few conditions," he sighed.
"What conditions?" Damnit 13 was already making demands. "What do they want?"
"They know who we are and what we've accomplished. But it's not enough they say. They need a guarantee from us. We will unite with 13 as long as we fall under their command of their leader. We will take orders from them as I relinquish my leadership from District 12 to join them."
"That's bullshit. I know we need their help," I snapped. "You, Jay should at least have a say or authority to make decisions along side them." District 13's main industry was manufacturing graphite mining but also weaponry. We needed on each other. Thirteen would supply us with guns and weaponry but they needed the numbers, people to fight. "I'm not about to blindly follow them. We need equal footing in this rebellion."
"As individual districts unto themselves, we fought individually but not as one. We need to unite all of Panem if we intend to go head to head with Snow." I knew what they were asking. We were already arguing with 13 without even joining them. They wanted us to fight but under their command diminishing Jay's position as our leader.
"I know that, Jay," I recounted. "Do you remember the countless conversations we had on that topic?" It was endless. We couldn't get all the districts to fight Snow. A few districts followed Jay but others were too scared. We needed a symbol or a cause to unite Panem.
"What if I told you that I found a solution?" I gasped in surprise. There was a look in his eyes that troubled me. He was planning something.
"What are you planning?"
"I can't tell you yet––"
"Why the fuck not?" I roared.
"You need deniability." He sighed. "Mitch, please understand I didn't have a choice. If my plan goes wrong, you won't be accountable. District 13 can't blame you for my decision." I knew Jay's personality. He was stubborn but reasonable. He was smart and decisive. Any decisions he made were thought through always thinking of the consequences. He was selfless and brave. He became the MockingJay unwillingly fighting and kicking until he realized he was what we needed to fight against Snow. We drew strength from him. He was making a decision for us. For the sake of the rebellion.
"What did you do?" I insisted. I didn't like that fact that he was hiding a secret from me, from us.
"For now I can't tell you," he said with steel in eyes. "I made this decision for us. I know that I should have consulted––"
"You damn should have, Jay," I bellowed. Ultimately, he didn't have to since he was our leader, but Jay always wanted our input.
"No, this decision I made on my own," he stated with an air of authority. He put his foot down metaphorically. "I'm pissed that District 13 has made conditions in order to join them. But I have figured out a way to have a seat at the table so to speak. We need them just as much as they need us. I won't relinquish my part as your leader. I didn't become the MockingJay just to be put aside, Haymitch."
"Jay––"
"I just…I need to know that you will stand by me, Mitch. When hell passes through District 12 and 13 is making demands, I need to know that you will be by my side."
I gulped. My throat felt dry. I needed a drink. No I needed a bottle of scotch. I was committed to fighting in the war against Snow. Jay was asking for my loyalty, my allegiance to him.
"I would follow you to hell, Jay." He sighed in relief. His shoulders drooped as if a weight was lifted from him. "I'm not just a compatriot…I'm also your friend." I wasn't lying when I said that I would follow Jay to hell. With the future of Panem at stake, we were definitely at the path of entering hell's inferno.
"Thank you, Haymitch," Jay said. "Just be prepared. There is firing burning in Panem and it's headed towards District 12." God help us all.
I thought about inviting Gale to our 'card game' night but I decided against it. I wouldn't expose the players yet until I was certain that Gale was committed to our cause. I hated the idea of asking Katniss. I trust that she could find her way to 13. As for Gale, sending her would definitely bruise what's left of his ego. He had already lost his girl to Mellark then to be replaced by a girl, the same girl who rejected him. It would be more than disappointing to Gale to be replaced by her. It would be a devastating blow.
"Gale," I shouted as he exited the mine. He took a deep breath as he rolled his eyes. For a grown man he was petulant and acted like a child.
"What do you want, Abernathy?" he gritted his teeth. What was his problem? With his long stride he tried to outpace me as he walked around me. I didn't wait for him for the most of the night to be ignored. I had better things to do with my time.
"I need to talk to you. We either have this conversation now or later."
"I don't' need another lecture," he spat. So, someone has spoken to him already. I wondered whom. Jimmy came to mind but I guessed it would be Garrett.
"I'm not your father, Gale, but I like to think that we are friends." He scoffed. "I'm not here to lecture you. So you either talk to me man to man or I'll treat you like a child. Like a child you lost his favorite toy he and is having a temper tantrum." I almost felt sorry for him as I saw the look in his eyes. There was pain and loss, but most of all there was anger, fury behind his stormy eyes.
He followed behind me as the walk to my home towards the Victor's Village took less than ten minutes. Once inside he sat on the sofa with arms crossed against his chest. He looked defiant and vulnerable. I let him sulk for a few minutes.
"Gale, I know that things look bleak right now for you," I started. "But I need your reassurance that you're head is on straight." He looked away and remained silent. "What you did or try to do to Peeta and Katniss was…childish." Gale's face grew angry as his eye turned cold and hard.
"Whatever," he said in a dismissive manner.
"What were you thinking?" I flinched as I realized that this was starting to sound like a lecture. "You, Gale are an integral part of our plans. The MockingJay is depending on you. He was asking about you today."
That got his attention as his demeanor changed from anger to curiosity. "He asked about me?"
"He knows you volunteered," I added. "Listen, you need to focus and concentrate on the mission. What you did to Ivan…you put our plans in danger. And your obsession with Katniss and Peeta, well I hate to tell you that your reckless behavior is being questioned whether you should be the one to go to 13."
"What, no––I'm the only person who knows how to get to 13. I know the woods."
"You're not the only one, Gale," I stated. He looked confused for a moment.
"No, Katniss? They would replace me with Katniss?" I nodded my head. I saw a range of emotions on his face––fear, anger, disgust and panic. "They can't do that."
"Why not? She is more than capable. Listen, Gale. This thing with Katniss has to stop. She obviously made her choice." He snorted. "You have to accept it if you want to be involved in the rebellion. This is bigger than all of us. You Gale are important in this mission." I needed to boost his ego. "I need you to be a leader. People your age will be looking up to you." He looked thunderstruck and pleased.
"We have been waiting for this moment for years, decades. Your father would be so proud if he knew what a brave and strong man you have become. To volunteer for the MockingJay. If your father was alive today he would have been so disappointed and disgusted with your behavior." I knew I was getting to him as his shoulders drooped and his head hung downward.
"Think of your position in war against the Snow and the Capitol. Do you want a better life for you and your family?" He nodded his head.
"So tell me, what is most important to you. Your obsession with Peeta and Katniss or your future, your family's future where there were be no more games. A better future where we are no longer subjugated by Snow and the Capitol." I could see the cogs in his head working. "So do yourself a favor and think hard and long about your priorities."
"You're making me choose between Katniss and the rebellion?" he asked. "Is that what you're asking?" Oh, dear God, what was it going to take for to realize that he didn't have a choice?
"Gale, for God's sake," I sneered. "You don't have a choice. Katniss made it for you. She chose Peeta."
"I don't––" I wanted to smack him in the head.
"Why are you forcing yourself on Katniss?"
"I'm not forcing her––" His bulged from his sockets.
"Yes, you are. What if Katniss kept telling you that you're in love with…Madge Undersee…that you really don't know your own heart or mind for that matter."
"But I'm not in love with Madge," he uttered.
"That's my point. What if Katniss insisted that you don't know your own mind? What if she insisted that you're better off with Madge…that you're really in love with Madge, making the decision and choice for you? That's what you're doing by telling her who to love or feel. You can't make people fall in love you. It isn't fair to you or her."
Gale looked despondent and hurt as if I struck him. I did though I struck him in the heart. I truly believed he loved Katniss, but she rejected him and he couldn't handle it. "Think about it Gale. Think long and hard at what you're doing to your best friend. You're only thinking of yourself and that's selfish."
I knew that his friendship was over with Katniss. Garrett pretty much alluded it. He too was saddened by Gale's behavior and actions. What he did was unforgivable. He was willing to point the finger on Peeta for beating up Ivan and he prove that their relationship wasn't real. It was a despicable act.
I had hoped that I had gotten through to him. We needed him. Though I was certain that Katniss would be an option to replace him, I didn't want her to be placed in a position that forced her to join the rebellion because we gave her an 'incentive.'
"Go home and take care your family, Gale," I said. "Make preparations to make sure that they are taken care of when you die." The plan could only work if we convinced his family that Gale perished in the explosion. It was cruel to inflict such pain but it was necessary. We couldn't trust Rory, Vick, Hazelle and Posy with the truth. The death had to look real and convincing. Gale knew it when he volunteered. He was quiet for a few second. I hope that I had finally gotten through to him.
"Just think about Gale. This mission will go ahead without you. Prioritize what's important to you," I said. "Go home."
As I led him towards the door, the Capitol viewing monitor sounded. God help us, President Snow was making an announcement. "What the hell happened now?" I shouted at the screen.
The monitor displayed the Capitol symbol. "Good evening, Panem," President Snow addressed us. He spoke for a few seconds then the transmission was interrupted.
"This is the voice of the MockingJay," another image appeared on monitor. "Shit, Jay! What have you done," I yelled at the screen.
Peeta POV ––
'This was not happening. No, it's not.' "You what?" I asked my voice high pitched in reaction to dad's announcement.
"The Everdeens are coming over for dinner this evening," he announced. He was so nonchalant about it like as if it was an everyday thing that we did.
Dinner with the Everdeens? With Katniss' family? It was bad enough that he had hired her to work for us. My mind was in a jumbled state the first time he told me. I remembered the sick and nauseous feeling that grew in my stomach. I thought he was kidding, he wasn't. The memory of that conversation was branded in my head. My mind was muddled from the drugs. I couldn't tell what was real or not. When out of the blue he announced that he hired Katniss to work for us. I thought I dreamt it.
After arriving home from the Everdeens I knew I had to move forward with my life. After overhearing Katniss' admission that she didn't love me, it was the last time I was going to dream or fantasize about her in my life in any capacity. She didn't want me for a suitor let alone a friend. I was done. I was going to move forward and find myself a nice Merchant girl and settle down. Settle. That was what I was going to do. Then he made his announcement.
"I hired Katniss to work for us." Oh my fucking God. I was going to die. I had adored and loved her from afar––never talking or socializing but admiring from a distance. Now when I decided to give up, Dad sealed my fate once again to be tormented and tortured by her presence in the bakery. Katniss Everdeen was going to work alongside me at my family bakery. 'Oh, shit I'm fucked.'
'What had I done to deserve this punishment?' I would be forever be haunted by her eyes, hair and lips. 'What the hell was dad thinking?'
"What? You hired Katniss," I expressed in shock and disbelief. 'The world hates me.'
"Why?"
"I need help, Peeta," he stated. "Graham has been wanting to work for Sonja's father for some time. With him gone, we need another person to fill his spot."
"He has?" I never knew that. I thought the bakery would be handed down to him, as he was his first-born.
"He never had any interest in working for the bakery, Peeta," dad said in a tone sad. "And I'm okay with that." He'd never forced us to work at the bakery if we had other interests.
Dad had always known that I would take over if given a chance. Rye didn't want the bakery and had said so. "Delly said that she'd take care of the accounting once she marries Rye." Delly had a head for numbers. She was perfect to replace mom. That meant we needed to hire someone when Graham left. 'But why Katniss Everdeen?'
The next thing I knew she and Prim showed up in the bakery. There was little I could do or say to oppose dad's decision.
Yesterday's event was enough torture to last me a lifetime. The whipping from Cray was less tormenting than the shave Katniss had given me. "Breathe, Peeta," I said to myself. "Breathe." My body shook from anticipation and shock.
Flashback ––
My mind and my body shook as Katniss assisted Delly in washing my hair. I needed to get back to my room so I could alleviate my…
"I have," Katniss said. "After my dad's accident, I learned how to shave his face when my mom wasn't available."
'Oh, no, please no.' my mind chanted. She is not going to give me a shave. No way.
"You don't have to––" I started to rise. 'This was not happening, no sir. No way is she going to––' The rant in my head was interrupted as Delly pushed me back on the chair. 'What the fuck, Delly.' I sent her a look of confusion and betrayal.
"Sit down," she ordered. I turned to look at Katniss. The look on her face was filled with…hurt? I banished that thought out of my head. Why is she here in the first place? Wasn't she supposed to be downstairs working? It was bad enough that she helped Delly wash my hair. Her hands stayed secured on my shoulders and waist during the whole ordeal. My stomach contracted each time she touched me. God I hoped she didn't look waist down as my erection was pressed between my legs.
'God help me, not now, not now.' I flinched each time her hands and fingers pressed into my skin. She was killing me. Then, she rubbed my hair with a towel. 'Oh, shit I hoped I didn't moan in pleasure.' She smelled of pine and lavender. She was even wearing a dress. A dress I've only seen on a few occasions. She looked beautiful. I sighed in resignation since I had no control of my life. My body betrayed me each time Katniss was near me. 'Shit, I'm fucked.'
Now she wanted to shave my face? Did she realize how intimate that would be between us? She hated my guts for God's sake. I tried to formulate excuses in my head but none came. The next thing I knew she placed a warm towel on my face.
"Sit up Peeta and stop moving," Delly commanded. 'Katniss Everdeen my crush since I was five was touching my face.' Her body was between my legs. 'Oh God I hoped that I wasn't sporting an erection the size of a loaf of bread.' How humiliating that would be.
I sat straight up and moaned. "Don't strain yourself. You asked for this remember?" Delly's voice registered as the cloth covered my face muffling my voice.
"Fuck you Delly," I muttered underneath the towel. I took a deep and cleansing breath to help even out my beating heart. It pumped hard against my chest.
Katniss was killing me slowly as she proceeded to lather my face with shaving cream. She brushed my face with light and fluid strokes covering me from cheek to chin. I could tell that she knew what she was doing. She was gentle and methodical.
"Peeta, just relax," Delly giggled. I winced. My knee bounced in place, as I couldn't figure out where to place my hands. I was a mess. 'Just don't grab her,' my dirty mind scolded me.
Suddenly Katniss grabbed my hand. 'Fuck me.' Her hand was soft but firm. I swallowed balls of saliva that formed in my mouth. My throat was tight and parched.
'Touch me, don't touch me,' my mind warred with itself. I was relieved that the shaving cream hid my blush. For I knew I was red as a tomato as heat radiated from my neck to my face and down to my extremities. 'Someone open a fucking window. It's hot in here.' My dick hardened in between my legs. 'Good God, please, please calm down.' I chanted in my head.
"Peeta, relax. I won't hurt you. I promise. Please trust me," Katniss said.
'Too late, you already hurt me twice.' I reminded myself. 'And you don't like me remember?' I wanted to blurt out. That memory was enough to soften my erection. I found no relief. The ache in my chest and heart expanded to my stomach.
"Up or down?" she asked.
'Up or down?' I was stunned by her question then remembered––she's fucking shaving your face, you idiot. This was not the time to fantasize about her doing naughty things to you as I stared at her lips and hands. 'Oh, shut the fuck up with the fantasies.' It was never going to happen.
"Down first then up," I answered as I bit my inner cheek. 'Don't run, don't run, don't run...'
Katniss was thorough I had to admit. She took her time as she shaved my face with such gentleness. I felt cared for. Then I remembered her rejections and her scorn. Her words rattled in my head like I song I couldn't get out of mind. She confused me. She looked like she cared but I knew better. This was pity and she felt guilty. I couldn't trust what I was feeling but…the way she was looking at me…Could I trust what she was trying to do? Was all this even real?
Before I could stop myself I caved. "Thank you, Katniss," I said. I could at least thank her for helping me wash my hair and giving me a shave. I could accept her pity if this all I was ever going to get from her.
"Peeta," Katniss started. "I––"
"Hey, Delly," Rye's voice disrupted our moment. "Is everyone okay up here?" Fucking Rye.
End of Flashback ––
Nope, it was not happening. What I thought I saw was just my imagination. I was making up feelings that I conjured in my head. Feelings I wanted to come true. I was done dreaming about having a future with her. I laughed at my foolishness. What was I thinking after all these years? She didn't even want to know me as a friend. At least I was there to save her from Ivan. I could never forgive myself had anything happened to her.
I was destined to save her. Everything that happened before led me to that fateful night. I could never regret that. But my hope was dashed as the reality set in. I could never be what she wanted or needed. I know that now. It was time to pick up the pieces of my heart and try…try to live without her.
How am I supposed to do that when she's working in the bakery? 'Thanks Dad.' And what was Delly trying to accomplish? I better tell Rye to marry her soon. She had too much time in her hands.
"Hey, Peeta," Prim greeted me as she walked into the second floor. "You look better."
"I feel better, Prim," I returned. If Katniss didn't want to be my friend, at least I had my friendship with younger sister. "It's the first times in weeks since I slept on my back." It felt good to lie on my back after lying on my side and stomach for days. Then, she hugged me.
"I'm really glad that you're okay, Peeta," she whispered in my ear. "Thank you again for saving Katniss." I just realized. Had Katniss ever thanked me for saving her life that night? I couldn't remember. I wouldn't hold my breath on that one.
I walked down the stairs. It was first time in days since I arrived home that walked on my own without any assistance. It felt good to be mobile again. I hated feeling useless so I decided to work for a couple of hours. That's if my dad would let me.
"You just had the most traumatizing experience," dad mentioned. "You don't have to come back to work right away. We have enough help for now." He had to mention and remind me of our 'new help.'
"I don't like feeling idle and non productive dad," I said to him. "Can I at least make the cheese buns for dinner tonight?" He relented.
"Peeta!" a voice shrieked. The tone was so loud and high pitched that I flinched in reaction. 'Oh, shit.' The owner of the voice was Shelly Martin, a classmate from Delly's class. I didn't even know she knew I existed. She made it known that she was attracted to the tall and strong Merchants boy in her class. Not that it mattered since I had my eyes on Katniss. I didn't want Shelly's attention and I even wanted it less now.
"You look wonderful," she started. "You were so brave." She rattled on for a few minutes. I ignored her as I noticed Delly's amused smile while Katniss' scowled at Shelly. She rattled on for a few seconds as her words went over my head. I couldn't focus as I was too busy staring at Katniss.
"…I wondered if you want to go with me to the Spring Renewal next weekend." 'Huh, what?' Did I hear that correctly? She wanted me to take her to the school's yearly Spring Renewal dance?
It was the dreaded school event before the reaping. It was created to give us the opportunity to have party before Reaping Day. I hated the dance. It felt as though we were given our last party before they send us to our death. It was also a sort of rite of passage as many of my classmates visited the slagheap. At the age of thirteen, a couple of girls from my class invited me. I've always said no as I thought about Katniss. She was the only girl I ever wanted. When turned fourteen, girls stopped asking and I knew why.
I heard the rumors that spread about me. I didn't care if it meant that my classmates left me alone. I was relieved. Now, however, I didn't know what changed. Why all of a sudden, I'm getting gifts from girls who have ignored me. I was puzzled by the attention.
"I'm sorry Shelly, but…" I stumbled. "I'm…" Heat rose from my chest to my face.
"Shelly, you should know better than to ask Peeta to the dance," Delly berated her. "He's not available and you know that." 'I'm not available? Since when?' Before I could ask what she meant dad appeared by my side.
"Peeta, are you sure you're well enough to work this afternoon?" he asked.
"Dad," Delly interjected. "He just got his stitches removed yesterday. He shouldn't be working." I hated when they talked around me as if I wasn't there.
"Tell that to Peeta," dad sighed. "Rye will be there to help him just incase he gets too tired." 'I don't need a babysitter.' I wanted to blurt back, but resisted. My dad meant well. So did everyone.
"I won't overdo it, dad," I promised him. I was still wobbly on my feet but my hands itched to feel dough between my fingers tips. I missed the smell of yeast, flour and butter permeating my skin. If working for the bakery was all I had left in the world, I could live with it.
I dared not look at Katniss. Her presence unnerved me. This was my home, my place of safety and comfort. She was now a part of it. Like a moth to a flame my eyes were transfixed to a pair of stormy gray orbs. I couldn't help it as I noticed her attire. She wore a light blue shirt and dark brown pants. So did Delly. My brows furrowed. When did dad implement a uniform for the bakery? Mom was against it saying that it was expensive and frivolous. Both Delly and Katniss' hair were in ponytail. So many changes occurred while I was stuck in bed in pain and in delirium. When did all this happen?
"I…um…I'm going to work now," I muttered as I turned around and smacked right into Rye. "Shit!" I flinched as the contact caused me to lose balance. I was still fuzzy and woozy from the drug withdrawals so I had to move slowly.
"Peeta, you should watch where you're going," Rye said in concern as he held my biceps with both hands. "Are you okay?" I hated that look on his face like I'm someone broken, someone weak, and someone who couldn't take care of himself. If my own brother thought that of me, who else did?
"Just got woozy from turning to fast," I said as I gritted my teeth. The room spun before my eyes as I fought the dizziness.
"Maybe it's too soon for you to be working back in the bakery."
"Not you too, Rye," I argued as I walked into the kitchen releasing me from his grasp.
My mood shifted from uncertainty to anger. "Just leave me alone so I can work," I told everyone.
It took a few minutes to gather all the materials and ingredients I needed. I calculated the portions to accommodate for a party of ten. For a moment my mind went blank as I stared at the preparation table. The flour, yeast, salt looked foreign to me. I almost forgot what I was doing. From the corner of my eye dad and Rye hovered. It was obvious that they were concerned about me. I was concern too.
Swallowing my moment of panic, I took a deep breath and then plunged. Without the use of measuring cups, I poured flour and a bit of yeast onto the table. I couldn't explain to you how I guessed the measurements for each ingredient. It was instinctual for me.
For a few minutes, my mind guided my hands, blending each ingredient together. This…working with my hands is what gave me peace. No one could tell me what to do as I created each bread, confection or pastry I mastered to perfection. I was proud of my skill and talent…a talent I inherited from my father, the baker of District 12.
My mind was so set on my task that I didn't realized that I had an audience. Dad, Rye, Delly, Katniss and Prim watched as I covered with cheese cloths two baking sheets of perfectly lined up rows of cheese buns aside to help the dough rise before baking. The fragrance of yeast, flour, butter and garlic permeated the air. I felt at peace and relief as I sighed at my accomplishment.
"That's my boy," dad complimented me as he placed a hand on his chest with pride.
"You did it," Delly exclaimed her hands clasped together in front of her face.
"Show off." Rye teased and snickered.
"Wow," Prim gushed. As for Katniss, she had look on her face I've never seen before. I blushed from all the attention I received from my cheering squad. But my moment of triumph and pride was interrupted as my knees buckled. I grabbed onto the edge of the table to prevent myself from falling.
"Peeta," dad cried out. He was quick on his feet as he held me upright by grabbing me by the waist. Everyone followed behind him.
"Peeta, are okay?" Delly asked.
"I knew he was overdoing it," Rye replied worry stamped on his face.
"Sit down, Peeta," Prim ordered. "You've been on your feet too long." I winced as I landed unceremoniously on a chair Rye provided for me. I felt winded as if I ran a marathon. I was that tired.
"I'm fine, really guys," I assured them. I gasped in surprise as Katniss clasped her hand into mine. Her hand was warm and soft. I stiffened in response prepared to let go but she held on. 'Shit, shit. Do I let go or hold on?' I didn't want to hurt her feelings if I let go.
"Rye, can you get Peeta a glass of water," dad ordered her. I lost track of time and space as my focus centered on the small hand that was intertwined with my fingers. I stared at the difference of our skin color her olive skin tone against my pale complexion.
"Hello, is anyone here," a voice was heard from the front of the bakery. Saved by the bell?
'Nope, not gonna happen. I wasn't going to be tricked into believing that she cared for me,' my conscience reminded me.
"Delly, Katniss get back to the front of the store please," dad stated. I held back the feeling of disappointment and relief from my face. As Katniss and Delly exited the room, I dropped my head on the prep table.
"Peeta?" dad asked. "What's wrong?" Rye stood before me with a glass of water.
"Nothing, nothing," I repeated to myself. This rollercoaster of emotions tired me out.
An hour later it was closing time, the dinner was scheduled two hours from now. Dad permitted Katniss and Prim to go home early so they had time to dress. I wasn't looking forward to the Everdeen-Mellark dinner. It left me anxious, as I would once again be in Katniss' presence.
I took a long hot shower to relieve my anxiety and stress. I couldn't recall the last time I felt at ease in my own skin.
An hour before the dinner, Delly appeared preparing the dining table. Dad unpacked our best flatware, dinner setting and glasses. The last time the china was unpacked was at Graham and Sonja engagement dinner two years prior. I couldn't understand why dad was making such a fuss.
"Peeta, we're celebrating your recovery," he stated.
"Oh," I flinched at his explanation. It wasn't a big deal to me.
"Peeta, this home. Our home," dad started. "We never had many occasions to celebrate. I'm not just talking about birthdays and engagement parties. Tonight, we are celebrating life. A celebration in thanks for your health…for surviving…" Dad started to tear up.
"It's okay, dad." I hugged him. He needed the reassurance more than I did.
"I almost lost you."
"You didn't."
"Only because…you were strong and brave." I scoffed at his image of me. I remembered crying like a baby and calling out to him. "Peeta, you were. You faced Ivan and Cray…and survived. That is why we're celebrating. And we're celebrating with people who helped with your recovery. If it wasn't for Lily and her family…"
"Okay, dad. I get it." I couldn't deny him in giving thanks for my recovery and his gratitude with the Everdeens. I was also grateful.
"You need to change your shirt," he stated out of the blue. Dad never criticized my clothes or appearance. As long as it was pressed and clean, he never commented on it.
"What? What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" I looked down. The shirt was a hand me down from Graham to Rye then to me. It was a faded blue button down shirt. The buttons were replaced with new ones as the others fell off over the years. After years of washing, it shrunk enough for me to wear. I liked it because it was comfortable and it didn't rub against my scars on my back as my other shirts.
I also had to wear a belt buckle. I had lost weight and had to resurrect a different size belt from my closet. The belt snapped into place as it cinched my waist. I just wished that Delly had cut my hair. It was getting too long as my bangs covered my eyebrows and the tips started to curl. I looked at myself at a mirror. My face was sallow with bags under my eyes, skin pale and my frame slight. I didn't recognize myself.
Dad walked over to the coffee table and presented me with a bag. "What's this?"
"Just open it," dad said with a big smile on his face. I reached inside and pulled out a brand new blue shirt that matched the color of the sky. Most of the shirts or clothing I wore were from Graham and Rye. Because I was shorter than my brothers, my pants were my own.
"What the occasion? My birthday isn't months from now," I asked. Dad's right brow lifted.
"I don't need an occasion to buy my son a shirt," he sounded exasperated. "Just change your shirt, Peeta."
"Okay, okay." I acquiesced as I slipped on my shirt feeling invigorated and renewed for some reason.
"You look very handsome, Peeta," Delly complimented me.
"Thank, Delly." Handsome was far from the description I felt or looked.
I dug my hands into my pants to hide my discomfort and anxiety. The table was set and the food ready. Rye and Delly were seated on the sofa his arm around her shoulders. I envied their closeness and love for each other. "Hello, everybody," Graham said as he and Sonja announced their arrival.
They greeted everyone. "Peeta," Graham muttered as he wrapped his big beefy arms around me. I was startled by his display of affection. We never hugged or displayed any affection towards each other before. His gestured shocked me. "I'm so glad you're okay."
I winced as the pressure from his hug pressed onto my back. "Sorry, Peet," he apologized when he noticed my discomfort.
"It's okay, Graham," I reassured him. "I'm still a little tender."
"I guess no wrestling tonight then after dinner," he teased me.
"Peeta, I'm so happy to see you," Sonja said as she leaned over and kissed my cheek.
"Hi, Sonja," I greeted her back. I liked Sonja. She was perfect for Graham's restless spirit. She calmed him. Watching my brother's with their significant others made my chest ache. Would I be lucky enough to find love like Graham and Rye did? My odds for a happy love life looked bleak since my chances with Katniss didn't exist.
"You look good, Peeta," she said. I knew she was lying so I just smiled.
"Where's my nephew?" I asked. I haven't seen him since the party. I looked forward to spending some time with him.
"My sister is babysitting him," Sonja explained. I felt disappointed and she sensed it. "Peeta, he hasn't changed much since you last time you saw him." Still, I wanted to see him. "Of course, if you insist you can drop by. I'm sure my sister would love to see you." I smiled back and tried not to grimace. 'No thanks,' the words formed in my head. The last time I saw my sister-in-law she tried to kiss me and grab me below the waist and I had avoided since then.
The doorbell entry to the bakery sounded disrupting the memory. I took a deep breath. This was it. The Everdeens had arrived.
Katniss POV ––
Last night had to have been the worst night ever. I couldn't sleep. In school I was in a fog. Even Madge noticed my behavior as I had ignored for most of the lunch hour.
"Katniss, is something wrong?" she asked as concern marred her face. She was my friend, a girl friend from my school. I didn't have many if you count the Hawthornes. Well, one less friend recently. His absence didn't hurt at all.
I stared back at Madge. I hated lying to her…she was only person I trusted besides Prim. I can actually admit she was like a sister to me. I couldn't lie to her any longer. So with a quiet and soft voice I told her everything. Everything leaving no detail unmentioned––Ivan, Gale, the night I was almost raped and most of all, Peeta.
"You could have told me, Katniss," she blurted with hurt behind her eyes. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I…everything happened so fast and when Peeta got hurt because of me, I had to protect him," I admitted.
"Poor Peeta," she exclaimed. "I can't believe that Gale…is such a jerk."
"You don't know how much…" I stopped myself. I sympathized Gale's hurt and anger towards me since I did chose Peeta, but Gale's reaction and attempt to hurt him, I could never forgive him for that.
"So Peeta…isn't really your boyfriend." I held back the sob and tears that threatened to fall. I nodded my head.
"No he isn't." How I wished I could change that. How I wished I could go back in time and treated Peeta differently…both times when he attempted to talk to me.
"Katniss?" Pain bloomed on my chest as I remembered my treatment of him
"Sorry, I didn't sleep well last night." If I slept at all it was fleeting. All night I was kept up by the memory of shaving Peeta's face. The fleeting look of tenderness and longing was embedded in my memory. It would haunt me until I saw it again. His indifference ate into my soul. I never thought I would feel like this for anyone. A hunger that I never knew existed. And, I felt it for a Merchant boy with blond hair that curled at the ends when it grew too long, eyes blue as the clear spring day and a smile that lit up a room.
I could see him now sweet, shy and vulnerable. I missed that side of him.
"If I asked you something, will you be honest with me?" she asked. I nodded my head.
"I've never seen you look like this before," she continued. "Like you lost something." I sent her a pained smile. "Do you like Peeta? Like really like him not just a friend."
I nodded my head and sobbed hiding my face with my hands. "Hey, he's likes you too, you know. He had a crush on you for a long time."
"How do you know?" Did everyone know but me?
"You're not my only friend, Katniss." I looked confused. "I'm friends with Delly Cartwright, Rye's fiancée." Well, that figured. "So I'm going to tell you something else so please don't get mad, okay? This happened along time ago before we were friends."
"What?" I asked. What deep dark secret did I not know about?
"I had a big crush on him as well."
"What?" I screeched.
"Well, you can't blame me for liking Peeta when you didn't show any interest in him. He's so sweet and––"
"Oh my fucking God." As far as crushes for boys in our school, Madge would mention a few in passing. Had she mentioned Peeta at the time, it wouldn't have bothered me. But now? The confession shouldn't surprise or anger me but it did.
"Don't be mad at me," she said. I gave her my stink eye. "Hey, I was 16 at the time and he was…developing you know what I mean." I didn't. I knew about Peeta Mellark but I never once looked at him in any way. I groaned in frustration. The list of his admirers grew adding Madge to the list.
"Anyway, Katniss. That's ancient history," she muttered. "As I was saying, I want you to tell me the truth. Do you like Peeta? Do you want him to be your boyfriend for real?"
I nodded my head. "Yes, I want…a chance with him." It felt to good to admit it. Then, I told her of my two encounters with Peeta and how I treated him. "Now…that…I want him, he won't look or talk to me. I really hurt him."
"I'm sorry, Katniss," she said. Me, too. I felt sorry for myself and for Peeta.
"You know what I don't get?" My anger resurfaced. "Even though people don't know we're not together like boyfriend and girlfriend for real, he's getting a lot attention from the girls in school. They keep coming by and leaving presents and stuff."
"He's a keeper no doubt about that," Madge reminded me. I agreed wholeheartedly. Peeta was a keeper and I intended to keep him. But first I had to get him to keep him.
"Hey, Katniss, Madge," a Merchant classmate addressed us. I didn't acknowledge him as I kept my eyes towards Prim's direction. She sat with her usual group of Seam classmates. She was never out of my sight.
"Hello, Digby," Madge greeted him in cold manner. Digby? Who the hell would name their child Digby? "What can I do for you?"
"Just saying hi to you beautiful ladies," he leered at us. Madge winced in disgust. "So Katniss…" He leaned down to us as we sat underneath our usual tree during lunch. "How's Mellark doing?" His eyes travelled from my face to my chest. Eww…really?
"You mean my boyfriend, Peeta?" I annunciated. "He's doing great actually."
"That's great," he returned. He stood for a few seconds staring down at me. "I can see why he likes you. You have great…assets." Bile rose from my throat. "The thing I just don't get is what you see in him."
"You mean besides the fact that my boyfriend is sweet, kind, generous, and gorgeous. What's not to like about him. He's perfect." 'For me,' I finished in my head.
"You know when he gets tired of you––" Before he could complete the sentence I stood up and decked him in the face. He landed on his ass backwards. My hand stung from the impact but it was worth it as a red bruise formed around his eye. Speechless and angry, I walked away before I caused more damage. I was already high strung, angry and anxious.
"Don't ever let Peeta know you tried to pick up Katniss, Digby," Madge warned him. 'Yeah, because he would kick your sorry ass.'
The rest of the school period was a blur. I was petrified as I approached the bakery. Jimmy greeted Prim and I holding a shirt and pants in his hands.
"Hello girls," he said. "To mark the occasion of the new policies I have enforced, I want you and Delly to wear these." He extended the clothes to me. "This will be your new uniform as you two represent the bakery up front." I stared at the shirt. It was light blue while pants were dark brown. "You have four extra shirts and pants for the week. I hope that I got the size right." I thanked him and changed into my new uniform.
The afternoon was boring and quiet as customers trickled in. Of course, a classmate of Delly's appeared inquiring after Peeta. I gritted my teeth in irritation as she completely ignored me knowing that by now everyone knew I was Peeta's girlfriend. She had a lot of nerve about Peeta in front of me
Suddenly Peeta appeared at bottom of the staircase. He looked tired and worn. I wondered if he too slept horribly as I did. However, my heart raced as I stared at him in adoration. Then admiration turned to fury as 'Shelly' asked Peeta to the Spring Renewal dance.
Before I could react Delly put her in her place reminding Shelly that he was already taken. Peeta looked shocked and confused at the whole situation. I realized that he didn't know that I had basically claimed him as my boyfriend without him knowing it. He was drugged for days and was not aware at the turn of events. 'Oh, boy, I had to tell him.'
Everyone believed he was my boyfriend––everyone except Peeta.
An hour later, I watched as Peeta turned a pile of flour on the table to a row of cheese buns onto a baking sheet. It was like watching a master complete a piece of artwork as he kneaded the dough with his bare hands. The muscles on his arms and back flexed underneath his shirt. He worked quietly with ease as he was lost in concentration on the cheese buns. I couldn't wait to eat them for they looked and smelled divine.
Of course, it was another missed moment between us as I held Peeta's hand moments after he collapsed from standing too long. He looked scared and in disbelief as he stared at our clasped hands. He tried to pull away but I wouldn't let him. When we parted I felt a ghost of his hand in mine his rough skin against my own.
Jimmy let Prim and I go home early. I took my time as I dressed for dinner. It mattered to me how I looked for the Mellarks. I never bothered before but since I was basically having dinner with my boss and the boy I wanted to be with, I had to make a good impression. Will Peeta notice the effort I was making to get his attention? God, I hope so. I hoped that I'm also given an opportunity to get some time alone with him.
"Katniss, stop biting our lower lip," Prim reprimanded. Biting my lip was a bad habit I formed when I'm nervous or anxious. I hadn't realized I was doing it. "Stop worrying, it's just dinner. What could possible go wrong?"
With my luck, a lot can happen. Not all of it good if was I betting how the night would end. I'd probably say something stupid and humiliate myself or worse say something to Peeta that would alienate him more. The walk to the bakery felt longer than usual. Mom held onto dad's arm as they walked in front of us. We had never had dinner at anyone's home before other than the Hawthornes. I wondered if this was to become an occasion for us––having dinner at each other homes.
I felt dizzy and out of breath once we reached the bakery. This was it. This was my chance to talk to Peeta. To finally talk to him and say what I been longing to say since the whipping. I recalled Prim and Delly's encouragement before we left the bakery this afternoon.
"Katniss," Delly called me. "I'm really glad that you're family is coming over for dinner tonight." The look on my face must have surprised her. I didn't realize that she was also invited. "I'm Rye's fiancée and we're going to be married within two weeks. I'm basically a Mellark already." She giggled. "Besides, who's going to help you with Peeta?"
My brows raised in curiosity. "Help me with Peeta?"
"I'm not blind, Katniss," she returned. "I've seen how you been looking at him. He may not be your real boyfriend, but I know you want him to be, right?" I blushed. Was I that obvious? Then, cringed. "Don't be embarrassed, I think it's sweet."
Prim giggled. "I've been trying to get her to notice Peeta for weeks." How humiliating that my own sister and Peeta's soon to be sister in law was playing matchmaker for us.
"Don't worry Katniss," she chortled. "Prima and I…we'll make sure that you get some alone time with Peeta." They eyed each other for a second then laughed. Whatever they were planning I hope that I didn't regret it.
I was grateful for their help but hoped that it didn't backfire making Peeta distance himself from me more than ever.
We walked inside the bakery causing the bell to ring. Prim squeezed my hand once then released it. "It's going to be okay, Katniss. Relax and enjoy the evening." Her advice was easier said than done. I was sweating buckets from sheer panic and anxiety.
Walking up the stairs, the place looked and felt foreign to me, as if I wasn't there hours before. I took a deep breath and tried to relax. My mouth felt dry and my knees buckled when I saw Peeta. He wore a blue shirt that matched the color of his eyes. His hair was curly but combed back revealing his ruddy cheeks. He looked handsome as he hid his hands inside his pant pockets. I wanted to walk over to him and hug him. He looked lost as uncertainty marred his chiseled jaw and expressive eyes.
"Thank you for joining us, all of you," Jimmy announced. He had a smile on his face that lit up the room. I rejoiced in his happiness that Peeta was alive and well. He was still recovering but survived his ordeal. This was a cause for a celebration. Dad presented Jimmy a bottle of wine for the occasion.
Peeta's dad sat at the head of the table while Graham at other end. Sonja was seated to his left then Rye, Delly and Prim. Next to Jimmy's left side were Peeta, myself, mom and dad. Jimmy at first wanted Peeta at the other end, but Peeta argued against it.
"I want to sit next to you dad," he said. Prim and Delly maneuvered their way into having me sit next to Peeta. It worked out somehow as I hoped that it wasn't too obvious what they had planned. He looked stunned and petrified as I sat next to him.
Before dinner, Jimmy stood up while Rye filled our glass with the wine dad brought over for dinner. Even Prim was allowed a glass to mark the occasion.
"Before we start dinner, I would like to make a toast," Jimmy started. "To my sons, Graham, Rye and Peeta. You boys are everything to me." He stopped as tears appeared in his eyes. "But most of all to you, Peeta. You are the bravest and strongest person I have ever known. You are the heart of this family. Without you we would be lost. To Peeta."
We raised our glass in salutation. "And…" Jimmy continued. "To our friends the Everdeens, Garrett, Lily, Katniss and Prim. I don't how I could ever repay you for saving my boy. I will be eternally grateful for all you've done for him." Another round of salutations commenced as we clinked glasses together. I saved the last for Peeta as I turned to him.
"To you, Peeta," I said to him. "Thank you." My voice was low only for him to hear. He looked startled and confused as he turned his head in embarrassment. I wanted to clarify further but now was not the time. I swore before the night was through that I would get him alone and finally talk to him. It would have to wait.
Dinner consisted of skirt steaks with mashed potatoes with gravy. Steamed carrots and asparagus with cheese buns accompanied the main course. The steaks were soft and tender compliments from Graham's in laws. We never ate beef since it was only affordable to the Merchants. It was a rare treat.
The meal was so delicious that no one spoke during dinner. The silence gave me a reprieve as I tried to organize my thoughts of the things I needed to say to Peeta. I had so much to say to him. Every few minutes I snuck at look at his direction. He was quiet, as I felt nervous tension radiate from him. We both simultaneously reached over to grab a cheese bun that he accidently grabbed my hand instead. The feel of his hand sent a jolt to my stomach.
"Sorry," he said. "Go ahead I didn't mean to grab you." His face blushed a bright red from his cheeks to his ears. We both blushed from embarrassment.
"Hmm, these are delicious Peeta," Delly said as she savored a cheese bun. "I think you should make these from now on. Rye's version isn't as scrumptious as yours."
"Hey," Rye cried out. "My cheese buns are not that bad."
"It's okay, sweetie," she soothed him. "You have other talents in the bakery. You make really delicious white bread." Rye snickered.
"Anyone can make white bread, Delly." They teased and argued between themselves. Prim looked at me as she gestured to Peeta. 'Say something,' her eyes and face transmitted.
"Your cheese buns really are delicious, Peeta," I said to him. "They're perfect." 'Cheese buns, really.' I'm an idiot. I could have said something else, something meaningful, but nooooo I said, 'your cheese buns really are delicious.' Prim grimaced as she watched the whole incident unfold. I'm pathetic.
For dessert, Graham served us chocolate cake––another rare treat for us. Jimmy certainly went all out in Peeta's celebratory dinner. It was worth it to see him smile when Rye told a joke or when Prim teased him about the flock of girls that visited the bakery. He was all smiles and laughter. The sight of him happy warmed my heart.
After dinner, Graham and Sonja left early. "Got to pick up Tyler," Graham stated. "He gets cranky if he's not in his own bed." So for the rest of the evening, Jimmy, dad and mom conversed at the dining table reminiscing about the old days. It was odd seeing them together like they've been friends for a long time. Then, it dawned on me that they were classmates a long time ago. There was friendship that existed between them that I had never known before.
Rye and Delly kept Prim busy by teaching her a new card game. As for Peeta, he sat on the sofa with a pad and pencil in his hands. Delly looked up at my direction as she sent me smile. Prim held a thumbs up for encouragement.
With a deep breath I walked over to Peeta and sat beside him. He stiffened but kept drawing on the pad. "Can I ask see what you're drawing?" I inquired as I kept our conversation neutral nothing heavy to startle him. I inhaled as I felt my heart beat ramming against my chest. 'Peeta, look up,' I mentally sent to him. I needed to see his eyes. They spoke volumes to me now that I was willing to listen.
Instead of answering he extended the pad to me. I gasped in awe at the drawing. He drew the front of the bakery in great detail. You could see the broken step and the worn out sign on top of the building. The drawing displayed minute details of paint peeling from the side of the building, the windows displaying an array of cakes and in the front stood a solitary figure sweeping the floorboards.
I had never seen anything like it. "It's not any good," Peeta said as he belittled his ability as an artist.
"No, Peeta," I interjected. "This is wonderful. It looks so real, like a photograph." He shrugged his shoulders. My stomach plummeted at his reaction to my compliment. He fiddled with the pencil in his hand. This was not going well. The awkwardness between us grew.
"Um…Peeta. I just want you to know that…" He turned his head. "I'm really glad that you're better," I stuttered. Heat rose to my face, my stomach churned. I clasped my hands on top of my lap as I controlled my impulse to grab his.
"Thanks," he returned. "Your mom…and Prim. I wouldn't have…they helped me a lot." I noticed I was absent in his remark. "I owe your family a lot."
"No, you don't," I started. "You don't owe them anything." I flinched as I remembered our conversation in back of the bakery. I remembered how I treated him as he tried to give me the cookies without paying for them. He was sweet and kind extending his generosity and I paid him back by throwing the coins at him. I was angry and insulted that he pitied us. I repaid his kindness with scorn and anger.
I flinched as I realized that he too was thinking about it. This was not going well or the direction I had hope it would lead to. I had to recover from this.
"I'm sorry…that I haven't…said anything to you, you know. For saving me from Ivan…that night. I––""
"Your welcome." His response was fast, dismissive as if he didn't want to talk about it.
"No," I shouted my voice carried into the room alerting everyone disrupting the atmosphere. I flushed in embarrassment. "Let's take a walk."
"What?" Peeta was startled fear and anxiety etched on his face. I grabbed his hand and pulled him up from the sofa. I gave him no room to argue as I dragged him down the stairs.
"Woohoo," Rye cheered. "Go get him, Katniss." Prim and Delly giggled.
"Don't go too far," dad's echoed. "We have an hour before curfew." Once we were outside the bakery, Peeta yanked his hand from my grasp. He looked puzzled, hurt and bit angry.
"You didn't have to do that." Peeta snuck his hands into his pockets. "Dragging me like that."
"Sorry, it just that…what I need to say to you…I didn't want an audience," I admitted. He was nervous as his Adam's apple moved up and down his throat. He looked like…he was going to cry or throw up as he squinted his eyes.
"You don't have to do this," he said. "You already thanked me for saving your life."
"I need to talk to you," I asserted. "You've been nothing but decent…and nice to me. And I've been…" He avoided eye contact his breath harsh as he shook his head.
"Please don't do this."
"No, you're going to listen to me."
"You've said thank you, it's enough," he blurted.
"No, it's not," I argued back. Why was he resisting me? I was losing patience and hope.
"What do you want from me?" I didn't mean to upset him but I knew I was as he turned away from me. I was sick and tired of seeing the side of his head.
Before I could answer Jimmy appeared beside us. "Katniss, Peeta come inside quick. There's announcement coming in from the Capitol."
This was unusual. It was two weeks before the Reaping Ceremony. Nothing good can come from the Capitol if they were sending video this early. Peeta took off finding an opportunity to escape. I sighed as I gritted my teeth. 'You can't run from me now,' I said to myself. 'I won't let you.'
The music from the monitor blared into the room. We were anxious and scared. Prim walked over and wrapped her arms around my waist. Everyone was holding onto someone. Mom clutched onto dad's arm. Rye held Delly in his arms as Jimmy placed an arm around Peeta's shoulders. I wanted to be the one to hold him.
President Cornelius Snow appeared on the screen. "Good evening, Panem."
"The old geezer needs another suit," Rye joked. Snow wore his white suit like it was his second skin. I have never seen wear anything else whenever he appeared to make an announcement.
"Shh, quiet Rye," Jimmy admonished him.
"In two weeks time, we will commence with 74th Hunger Games." Suddenly, the screen flickered as Snow's image faded and another image appeared. It was an image of a bird painted on a side of a building.
"It's a MockingJay," Rye identified. The symbols was red incased in a circle with its' beak clutching an arrow. "Dad, it's the MockingJay."
"I know, Rye," his dad confirmed. I heard rumors of the rebel in other districts. I paid no mind to them since my priority was to my family. This act of defiance was bold and frightening. The MockingJay would not disrupt Snow unless he was…
"This is the voice of the MockingJay," a loud baritone voice emitted through the screen.
"Oh my God," Mom uttered in astonishment. "Garrett?"
"Quiet," dad shushed her.
"Panem, where are you loved ones tonight? Are they safe in your home? Are their bellies full?" The screen changed flashing images of people being bodily removed from their homes. There were people rioting in the streets. Families with small children huddled together seeking shelter in the alleys. We couldn't tell from which district. It only mattered that people were being dragged from their homes and their homes lit on fire.
"Or are they in the streets hungry, cold and sick from exposure with nothing but their clothes on their back. Are your children crying because their bellies ache from starvation and dehydration? Or…" I gasped horrified at the image displayed. It's Peeta hanging half naked on a post as Cray delivered lash after lash. I turned to look at him. His eyes glued onto the screen. There was no emotion on his face.
"This is happening in our district. What you're witnessing is the Capitol punishing a young man for protecting his girl. His girl was almost raped by a peacekeeper and this young man was punished for defending her. Where is justice? There is none. Must we continue to be treated like animals? Born to breed innocent humans for Snow and the Capitol's entertainment. Year after year we let them send our children to their death. When will the Capitol stop murdering our people? They are killing us not just bodily but our pride and our spirit. We are not animals to be put down for their whim."
"Hell, how did…oh my God, Garrett," Jimmy seethed in anger. "What is Jay doing?" Jay? The MockingJay? Both Jimmy and dad knew of his existence. Were they involved with the rebels?
Dad was motionless. "He had no right to expose Peeta like that?" Jimmy continued. "To use Peeta for the cause. Tell me Garrett, why?" I didn't understand why Jimmy was addressing my dad in such a manner. His anger was directed at my father.
"Jimmy––" Peeta's dad grabbed him by the shirt. "I didn't…"
"Hey, let him go," I screamed. I understood Jimmy's anger but to take out on my dad? It didn't make sense.
"Did you know? Did you, Garrett? That he would use Peeta like that?"
"I'm sorry, I knew that he was…I knew that he was going to hack into the Capitol's system but… Listen, Jimmy. It was fast and I doubt that anyone can identify that the boy on the video was Peeta."
"Everyone in 12 has seen the video and knows that it was Peeta," Jimmy spat. Delly looked stricken with fear as Rye's face was filled with rage.
"Dad," Peeta spoke. "It's okay, dad." His voice was soft and calm. He walked over to his distraught father and placed a hand on his arm. "Maybe it's time that the district knows what's happening."
"No, Peeta." Jimmy shook his head as he gritted his teeth in anguish. "It's not right." Pain and sorrow etched his face.
"Panem needs to know that there is injustice happening everywhere. That we're not safe under Snow's subjugation. The MockingJay is right. We're not animals to be put down when the owners are unhappy." Jimmy wrapped his big arms around Peeta.
"I'm so sorry, Peeta," he said his voice strangled with tears and sadness. "I didn't protect you. I wasn't there to protect you. What kind of father––"
"You're the best father," Peeta interjected. "It wasn't your fault I got hurt. Please, stop beating yourself over that. I…everything I did, I don't regret. None of it. You said that I'm strong and brave, I am my father's son. I would not be me without you. You have nothing to be sorry for."
Delly sobbed. "I'm okay and alive. If any good can come out of that video than I'm okay with it." I wasn't. How dare the MockingJay use Peeta's pain and suffering for his cause. To rally Panem and join their rebelloin. Jimmy was right, it wasn't right to use him like that.
The door downstairs banged opened. All of us were startled by the noise. "I came as soon as I saw the video," Haymitch uttered. He was out of breath, panting through his mouth.
"What the hell, Garrett––"
"Hey, before you start screaming at me," dad interrupted him. "I'm…sorry Jay made a decision and didn't consult us, but he is our leader and if he made a decision on his own then it's done."
"When I get him alone––" Haymitch threatened.
"Stand in line," Jimmy spat. Peeta sighed. He looked tired, beat.
"Please don't fight with each other," he said. "It's no one's fault." Peeta was the subject of a controversial video and yet he wasn't the one angry being used by the MockingJay. I would have been spitting mad.
Just as I reached out grasp his hand, Head Peacekeeper Cray and four of his guards appeared. 'Oh, fuck. What does he want now?'
"Oh, it's good that you're all here."
"What the hell do you want, Cray?" Haymitch demanded as he stood in front of Peeta.
"I am here to escort all of you to the Justice Building." 'What?'
"What is this all about?" Haymitch demanded answers. The tallest and biggest Peacekeeper poked him in the stomach with tip of rifle but Haymitch stood in place not budging from his spot.
"Quiet, I am to take Jimmy and Peeta Mellark, Garrett and Katniss Everdeen, Haymitch Abernathy to the Justice Building as ordered."
"By whom?" dad insisted.
"By order of President Snow," Cray answered back. We were astounded by the announcement.
"Why?" Haymitch asked again. "We have not committed any offense or crime."
"Why are you all gathered here?" Cray asked in suspicion manner as he looked around him for the first time since his arrival.
"Not that it's any of your business but we were celebrating for the recovery of my son, Peeta, from the vicious treatment he received weeks ago," Jimmy reminded him.
"For God's sake what do think they were doing? Planning an attack on the Capitol?" Haymitch spat. "Look around you. There is no hidden agenda here."
"No matter. You have saved me time. You will come with me willingly or I am granted any means to get you there." His finger tapped on the trigger of his assault rifle. "Give me a reason Abernathy." He itched to shoot one of us with the rifle.
"We will go willingly," dad stated as he turned to Peeta's father. "Jimmy is it okay if Lily and Prim stay here until whatever this is, is over? I don't want them alone at the Seam."
"Yes, of course. Rye take care of them until Peeta and I get back," he ordered his second eldest son.
"But dad, I want to go with you and Peeta," he suggested. He was scared for his dad and his brother. I was scared too.
"Rye, please don't argue with me," he pleaded. "I need you to take care of our women. Take care of Delly, Lily and Prim."
"Please, Rye. I'll feel better knowing that you're here to watch over Lily and Prim for me," dad added. "Please take care of my family."
Rye nodded with great reluctance. "Dad?"
"We'll be fine, Rye," he tried to assure him. "Don't worry about us."
Dad led me down the stairs with his arm around my shoulder. I looked back to find Peeta walking side by side with his father. Peeta is once again being sent to the Justice Building, but this time President Snow demanded our presence. I felt sick to my stomach.
"We're going to be okay, Katniss," dad said. I nodded my head hoping it was true. Haymitch walked ahead of us like a centurion ready to fight for us. I couldn't help but admire his loyalty and friendship with Jimmy and my dad. He seemed quite fond of Peeta as well. I didn't blame him. This was not how I wanted the night to end being escorted to the Justice building and meeting President Snow.
This was the MockingJay's fault for exposing Peeta and the rest of us to him. What did President Snow want from us? We're about to find out.
AN: Thank you for reading this chapter. I hoped you enjoyed it and was not disappointed with the outcome. Have a great week.