Flashback; Six months after Fairy Tail's disbandment.
Oh, how he hated the heat! You'd think that living more than half of his life in Magnolia would have helped him build some tolerance towards the excruciatingly warm weather but no such luck. Ur's training ran deep and his connection to ice even deeper.
Gray ran a hand through his hair, fed up with the sun and his current circumstances.
Fairy Tail had disbanded. It was crazy how vividly he could recall the series of events that have unfolded immediately after flame brain left them. The Master's saddened yet resigned voice, Erza frozen in shock, Lucy's heartbroken expression, Cana dropping her barrel of beer, Levy in tears, Gajeel glaring at the ground as if it was somehow its fault they were falling apart, The Strauss siblings comforting each other, The Raijin Tribe's reluctance to leave.
And most importantly, he could recall exactly the depth and magnitude of his own conflicting emotions. Half of him had wanted to track down Natsu and drag him home by that stupid pink hair of his. But only after he smashed his face into the ground for making Erza and Lucy lose the home they found in Fairy Tail, though.
That they all found.
He had even planned it out in detail. He'd start by convincing Happy with fish. Truth be told, Gray wasn't above doing some harmless bribing if that ensured his loved ones were happy again. The Dragon Slayer will budge harder but things wouldn't be fun if they were easy.
As such, he'd exploit Natsu's motion sickness to its full potential by throwing him inside a train. Eventually, they'd get home. Bruised and looking less like mages and more like savages but oh well, it would hardly matter. Because the guild would be whole again. Of course, Erza would be vocal about her own rage and give them one or two more bruises to show-off and Lucy would hug them and possibly kick them into next week for worrying her. They'd take it all their frustration and anger with little to no complaint. Anything was better than seeing them cry. Gray was sure Natsu would agree.
As for Master, he would, without doubt, take back his decision, scold and praise them simultaneously and announce the revival of the number one guild in Fiore. Someone would pick up a fight and soon enough Fairy Tail would be back to doing the one thing no other guild could compete with:
Express their strong emotions through fists and flying objects. They'd remember and laugh about it afterwards when they were too old to do so again.
His plan had seemed perfect.
Except it wasn't and that's how Gray made his choice by listening to his brain rather than by following his heart. Six months after Fairy Tail's fallout and he still couldn't say without lying through his teeth that he had made the right call though. His head was full of what ifs and buts and almosts and maybes. If Juvia breathing down his neck and the scorching summer heat won't drive him to an early grave...the guilt he felt for doing nothing surely will.
Thinking of the water mage, Gray couldn't help but let out a deep sigh then looked behind him, least he had somehow summoned her by accident with his train of thought. He had gotten better at spotting her so when he found no evidence of her presence, audio or visual, he let out another sigh, this time a relived one. He was grateful for her company, help and devotion but the extent of her...affection from him was one inch away from crossing into unhealthy territory and he really didn't want that to happen.
For her sake and his own.
Juvia, and every girl for that matter, deserved more out of life than pinning after him or any other guy when they could do so much more, for themselves, their career, and the world. Gray was honestly starting to believe that maybe he shouldn't have allowed her to live with him. He should have put his foot down and told her no. Yet the only thing that came out of his mouth back then had been a strangled and resigned 'fine', closely followed by a scowl.
So, he had agreed and told himself that perhaps this was a good thing. That living with him would open Juvia's eyes to the fact that no, he wasn't perfect, far from it actually and that he was as human and flawed as the rest of them. Gray had hoped that she'd start seeing him as more of a comrade and less like a potential boyfriend that could do no wrong.
Because Kami knew how he had managed to survive this long, what with the amount of screwing-up he did on a daily basis.
And though Gray was honest about all these reasons as to why he couldn't accept Juvia in his heart the way she wanted him to...he'd be lying to himself if he said those were the only things standing between them. He knew, that had he wanted her in that way...there would be nothing stopping him. Not insecurities, not rationality, no higher-ups, no nothing… but he didn't, which is how he found himself in this current predicament. He had woken-up early in the morning, did his usual routine, scribbled a message on a piece of paper so she wouldn't worry and left the house they shared in the woods to train.
Looking back on it, Juvia would have probably followed him anywhere he wanted to go so he could have done himself a favour and choose to live in the mountains instead of this hellhole.
No, Gray had not made his decision based on the fact that Ume Town was one hour away from Magnolia, should the guild decide to reunite overnight and the close proximity would ensure he'd be able to get there as soon as possible. He wouldn't sabotage himself like that! He had a completely logical explanation behind his reasoning and that was the existence of delicious fruits...such as, that orange thingy in the tree besides him called peach...or was it apricot?
Whatever. Gray wasn't known for remembering details. Fruit was fruit and it was good for your health and having plenty of it at his disposal was something his body was surely thanking him for, as he often used to remind Erza back when things were normal (as normal as it got where Fairy Tail was concerned anyways).
She had argued by saying that she ate many fruits.
Gray had cocked an eyebrow, not believing her in the slightest. "Name one other than strawberry."
Nevertheless to say, Erza had gone uncharacteristically quiet afterwards. It had worried him enough that he almost ran to the nearest bakery and bought her favourite cake. Almost. Looking back on it, he thinks that he should have moved his behind and done exactly that. Maybe he could have at least softened the damage he was prone to suffer in the nearby future.
It was two days later when he learned, after having his heart come dangerously close to a stroke, that Erza was not to be taken lightly. Something that, by all means, he should have already known better than anyone.
If he hadn't been aware before, he surely was after she proceeded to eat a banana right in front of him. Kami, from all fruits, known and unknown to him...she had to go and pick that one. Gray never criticised her choice of eating again. His fragile heart wouldn't have been capable of handling another demonstration of Erza's...never mind. The heat was a really bad influence on his capacity to think straight.
As he walked the paved streets of Ume, it didn't take him long to reach the local bar where people either went to gamble or drown in their sorrows. Frankly, he just needed a quick, iced drink after training under the sun from dusk until now. Gray knew it couldn't be helped. The Devil Slayer Magic his father had given him was relatively new and unpredictable. He had to learn to control it.
Which he had succeeded. Now he had to master it.
"Gray. What brings you here?" Tanya asked as he sat down in front of her. She was a short, purple-haired, skinny girl but she could pack one hell of a punch if provoked.
He had seen it happen to the less noble of costumers who stumble inside looking for booze and more often than not, a fight.
"To be honest, the heat. Bring me the usual, please?" he dropped the money needed on the counter, impatient already. Tanya didn't have Mira's skills when preparing drinks or food, and neither did she give that vibe of 'coming home' but she had a friendly face and didn't freak out whenever he lost his clothes.
And that was good enough for him.
She smiled in understanding. "Right away." she replied as she began preparing his order. Gray couldn't help but notice the engagement ring on her finger. He chuckled. "Aaron finally proposed, huh?"
Tanya blushed but didn't let his comment affect her work. "Yeah, you should have seen him. He was more nervous than I was but...it was sweet." she paused, cocking an eyebrow as she added the much-desired ice to the drink and handed him the glass. "How's Juvia-chan doing? She was very supportive of our relationship and I think she'd be happy to hear the news."
He thanked her and slowly nodded his head. Gray remembered how the water mage had, in the beginning, behaved towards Tanya. In the same way she thought of Lucy as 'her love rival'. However, once the resident bartender had told them that no, she was not attracted to him and that she had a boyfriend she loved dearly, which they later met, Juvia's attitude drastically changed...for the better.
Which he was glad for.
The comments coming his way about when is he, going to propose? Not so much.
"She is doing alright. Actually, she has taken a liking to the blue orchids that grow in the area surrounding the house we live in." Another thing that he was grateful for. It made the little trips he did in town alone more enjoyable because he didn't have to feel guilty for spending an hour or two away from her.
Tanya bit her lip, as if she was hesitating to tell him something. His curiosity now peaked, he cocked an eyebrow. "What?"
When she answered, it was with concern and weariness. "A woman came by yesterday and asked whether I know of your whereabouts. She frightened all of my customers with effortless ease."
Gray already had a hunch about who might be looking for him. Though he could be wrong...and someone was out to get him. Fairy Tail had disbanded. It would be easy for their enemies to hunt them now that they were left in such a vulnerable position.
He had to ask though.
"Was she a redheaded knight?"
Tanya breathed a sigh of relief and made him another drink. "Yeah. Bossy and quite a looker too, I might add."
Gray chuckled, shaking his head. "Oh, that's Erza alright." Suddenly, even his iced drink looked more colourful than earlier.
The purple-haired pixy, having noticed the endearing, proud look on his face, wiggled her eyebrows in a suggestive manner. "Never thought you'd be the masochist type, Gray. But oh well, each to their own, I suppose." she paused. "Does Juvia-chan know...?"
Fairy Tail's ice mage jumped as if burned and almost spilled his drink all over. "Know what? Erza and I, actually scratch that...there is no Erza and I to begin with..." he protested.
Tanya interrupted him knowingly. "But you wish there was." then she huffed when he gave her an incredulous look and opened his mouth to start protesting once more. She jabbed a finger into his chest. "Don't give me that. I watch boys and men drown in what you are drinking daily over unrequited love. I know how it looks like. More often than not, they pity themselves even before making their feelings known. True, we, women, are pretty amazing but there is a damn line drawn to mind reading."
Gray didn't have the energy or the will to further deny it, to himself or to the intuitive bartender so he shook his head, drinking his second glass. "I will not ruin my friendship with her because of some silly, boyish crush I've been dumb enough to develop."
It was not just some silly crush he felt and they both knew it but referring to it as such gave him the illusion he needed to believe that things won't stay like this forever. That, he won't always look at Erza with suppressed longing and affection so deep that it both scared and amazed him at the same time.
Tanya sighed and decided to let the subject go...for now anyway. She knew Gray will talk when he feels like doing so. "She hasn't left town, you know. Ryuji baka told her where you are staying at so I'm surprised she hasn't approached you yet."
Ume was a small town and only had one inn and one bar so Gray won't be having any trouble finding Erza. What confused him though, was why didn't she reach out to him if she knew where he was? He didn't get it but he was determined to find out. "Thanks. I will let Juvia know the great news. I'm sure she will want to stop by and talk." he left some money for the second drink and a small tip for everything she has done. He was almost outside before he called. "And Tanya..."
She looked up then glared at him when she noticed the tip. Gray was beginning to think that she was considering throwing something his way.
"Congrats." he grinned before rushing out the door.
Gray walked for some time and reflected on what he could do, what he couldn't. What he should, and what he shouldn't. Nevertheless to say, he had discovered that there was a monumental difference between could and should, a difference he hadn't been aware of before.
With his mind clearer, he decided now it was as good of a time as any to approach Erza.
His eyebrow twitched. "No, I'm not a pervert lady! I just wish to see my best friend."
The elderly woman rose an elegant eyebrow, humming noncommittally. "Who happens to be a young woman..."
He nodded, running a hand through his hair. "Exactly! Now could you please..."
The ice mage never got to finish what he had to say because the owner of the inn waved a... broom in his direction? "Listen here, boy who apparently has no shame..." it was then Gray realized he had somehow ditched his shirt and pants...again.
His profound apologizes fell on deaf ears though.
"I can't go around giving suspicious people like you, information about my costumers. Least something bad ends up happening to them."
He fought the urge to snort in disbelief and amusement, thinking to himself. She hasn't heard of the mighty Titania, had she? Gray blew an exasperated sigh as he picked up his scattered clothes to dress up. Then he crossed his arms over his chest, standing his ground. "Fine. I will wait here for her."
The elderly mumbled something about rudeness and foreigners under her breath before she walked away to fetch Erza. In the meantime, he made himself busy, ice moulding different things on the palm of his hand. Roses were his most frequent creation although he knew the ones he made couldn't hold a candle to the ones made by Ur...or Ultear.
He closed his eyes tightly, regret filling his heart once more as he remembered the end of The Grand Magic Games and the shock he had on his way back home. He wished he could have done something more for both mother and daughter, other than get himself into trouble and get rescued...at the expense of their own lives.
Scratch that.
Gray gritted his teeth, clenching his palm tightly into a fist.
I should have done more. What kind of mage am I if I couldn't protect... my family?
A bitter laugh went past his lips. He never told Ur and Ultear what he thought of them. That they had been like the mother and older sister he never had.
And now they will never know.
"Gray!"
His eyes snapped open, the sound of Erza's alarmed tone breaking his musings. He blinked when bright red hair entered his line of vision. He only registered the gravity of the situation a few moments later though. "Oi, don't be like that. This is the first time we see each other in six months..."
She interrupted him, a stern look marring her face, accompanied by the frown creasing her forehead. "You cut yourself." the you have been moulding ice for as long as I've known you and for even longer than that remained unspoken. Whether for her sanity or his, Gray wasn't sure.
He looked down at his wounded, bloody palm. The ice shards of his latest creation had dug into his skin, he realized with shame. "Oh, that."
"Yes, that." Erza echoed, her voice demanding that he does something about it.
Sure, Gray was an ice mage but that didn't make him invincible to the damage that his own powers could inflict. "Leave it alone, Erza. It's not that bad." he protested when she grasped his wrist to inspect the wound.
She didn't argue with him but merely informed him that they were going upstairs to her room to talk in private and that was final. It was fine by him. That's why he had sought her out in the first place. To talk. Important things first, more trivial stuff later.
…
Once they were alone with no more passive observers around and that elderly woman giving him warning glances, he felt as if he could finally breathe again.
"Here." Erza gestured towards the med aid and kit she brought with her, then leaned with her back against the wall, watching him expectantly.
He walked inside the bathroom, kept the door open, and begun nursing the palm of his hand.
The redhead remained quiet throughout the whole ordeal. Gray found it mildly concerning the way she was busy glaring at the floor as if it had offended her greatly. He had never seen her this distressed before. "What is it?" he probed. From his wound, blood was heavily oozing out and there was a bluish-purple bruise forming around it. With some tissues and alcohol, he cleaned it carefully.
Erza met his eyes in the bathroom mirror and for a split second, whatever he had been doing earlier didn't look half as important as the sight of...his best friend.
He realized with a sudden jolt, then adverted his eyes, calmly cutting off some bandage with a pair of scissors.
"Have you heard of Avatar?"
He narrowed his eyebrows. "The name sounds familiar. Why?" he asked as he finished patching up his wound. Then, he exited the bathroom.
"It's a dark guild." she informed him, all business-like as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Apparently, they are planning a ritual. I don't know when or how but the consequences of that will be devastating...for all of us. I'm thinking they could end up destroying more than half of Fiore's Kingdom, if not all of it."
He made an incredulous face. "They can't be that stupid. They'd destroy themselves too."
Erza shook her head. "I didn't mean it in the literary sense. Destroy as in, destroy our conscience, our heart. Bring us to the dark side."
He was quiet for a while. "Brainwash us, you mean?"
"Precisely." she nodded grimly.
He cocked an eyebrow. "Jellal told you this?"
If the way Erza looked uncomfortable was any indication, Gray got his answer already.
"We met two weeks ago. He asked for my help. Indirectly."
Something I can agree with.
He didn't want Erza getting involved with these guys any more than Fernandes did, apparently. "I hope you are not planning on going ahead and doing it anyway."
He knew her too well.
"To fight all of them would be reckless, even for me yes, and though there is another way...
"Undercover, you mean." he completed.
"Yes. Stop them from the inside..."
Gray shook his head and smiled. "They'd never buy it. Erza Scarlet, Queen of the Fairies, to fall out of grace? There are higher chances of hearing flame brain say he likes winter."
They chuckled at that.
"I never thought there will come a day when my reputation would become a downside." the knight confessed, seemingly even more depressed than earlier.
"It didn't. Kami knows on how many missions we have been together where the enemy chose to run for the hills rather than risk being on the receiving end of Titania's wrath."
Her expression softened and it didn't take a genius to know what she was thinking about.
"How do you think Natsu and Lucy are doing?"
His own expression must have gone pretty soft too at the mention of his closest friends. "Miserable without each other, I bet." he scoffed, but it wasn't in a mean way.
Erza smiled slightly. The kind of smile that spoke of pride, but not in herself. "They have become pretty close, yes and they make a brilliant team."
Gray hummed noncommittally. "I guess they do, huh?"
The silence that followed was comfortable, a silence between two long-time friends. They enjoyed the warmth of companionship for a few moments, rather than the noise of chattering incessantly.
It was the calm before the storm, however. Gray could see it in her eyes. She was hesitating. Hesitating to speak, to voice out loud the reason behind her unexpected visit, if he could call it that.
He had his suspicious.
Might as well see if they are right.
"You want my help." when she said nothing, Gray ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head in disbelief. "It's not a crime to ask for it once in a while. It doesn't make you weak, Erza."
She clenched a fist. "That's not it."
"Then what is? You have been in town for three days, knew where I live but didn't stop by once to see how Juvia and I have been doing since Fairy Tail had disbanded, six months ago! What if I didn't come looking for you today? Would you have pretended we are not in vicinity?" Gray knew it was wrong to pour out his frustrations on her, all things considering but the words had escaped him against his will.
He needed an answer, damn it! Even a bad one. At this point, the quality didn't even matter anymore.
"I was having second thoughts." she sighed.
Gray adverted his eyes. That hurt. He snorted. "You didn't think I'd be able to help you."
Her eyes flickered to him, a whirlpool of emotions herself. "I thought you wouldn't want to." she retorted.
What?
Gray felt completely out of the loop here. His eyebrows reached sky-rocket heights and if the way he kept opening and closing his mouth was any indication...
"In what universe would that make any sense, Erza?" he wondered out loud once the initial shock disappeared. The confusion was still very much present though.
Hell, he was sure even his Edolas counterpart would fall on his knees and fulfil her wishes. Out of fear, if nothing else.
"But..."
He didn't let her protest though. "But nothing. Fairy Tail might have fallen apart. However, I refuse to look the other way when a nakama needs my help. Be it you, Natsu or Lucy."
"When I heard you and Juvia are living together..." Erza trailed off, voice completely serious.
"She followed me around!" he exclaimed.
She glared at him. "Be more sensible."
"Fine..." Gray scowled. "She...wanted to come with me wherever I went." he quirked a brow, indignant. "Satisfied?"
The redhead hummed noncommittally.
"What has that got to do with anything though?"
"You'd be leaving her alone." she stated as if that explained everything.
The ice mage shrugged. "I don't see the problem Erza. She has survived without me this far."
"Gray!" the knight scolded him.
He groaned, fighting the urge to stomp his foot childishly. "Alright, I will go explain the situation to her, gently even, apologize for being a jackass and..." he paused when he noticed her frown. "What? You want me to buy her flowers too? because I'm not doing that. She'd never leave me alone then."
Erza shook her head. "You can't tell her."
It was Gray's turn to frown. "So, you want me to sneak out at night or something?"
"This is not one of my greatest plans, I'm well aware of that but it's for the best. Nobody from Fairy Tail, other than you and me, know about this." she paused, meeting his eyes. "Will you accept?"
How in Kami does she expect me to refuse her?
Gray answered with no hesitation. "Of course. I will stop by tomorrow so we can discuss the details." He needed some time to come to terms with the idea though, think it over in his head. Night was said to be a good adviser.
Before he could have walked out, however, Erza grasped his forearm. "I wouldn't think any less of you if were to decline."
"I know." he paused, clenching a fist. "But I would."
The moment she released him, Gray knew she understood. Turning around, he almost left. Almost. There was something else that needed to be said. "Hey Erza!"
She arched an eyebrow, genuinely curious.
His expression softened. "I've missed you."
Gray never really forgot the smile she gave him that day.
A/N: Hey guys! Alright...this, I don't even know how I wrote this much, like...there is a monumental difference between the first chapter and this one? I don't really know why. It's usually the boys' perspective I have such a hard time writing. For those who read my Naruto fanfics, that's obvious from the lack of male povs which wasn't done on purpose. It's just really hard to get in any of their heads!
Paradoxically, it's exactly the other way around with Fairy Tail. I'm not very good at portraying the girls but the boys...well, at least Gray, came so much easier to me!
Huh, must be the reason why I wrote 4000 words. I stopped the chapter here because it feels so long (seriously, I hope I didn't bore you guys to death. I know there are some people who don't like stuff like these).
Natsu's side of things will be revealed next time so stay tuned!
Would you have lasted all the while through 8000 words? (I'm just curious)
jbpendragon: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it! As for the phrases that seem awkward...English is not my first language and I've still got a lot to learn. *sheepish smile*