It was two days after the night at the party with Jack, and Selena hasn't checked on him or anything, but now she felt like this would be the time to tell him about her disease. There was no reason for him to be unaware anymore.
She could feel her pulse pounding against her temples as her hand gripped the knob of the front door. When she opened the door, Jack gave her a small chuckle as he walked in. "Hey, babyface."
Jack threw her a mocking grin as she shut the door then led them into the living room. "Don't come in here like you weren't just on acid the other night."
"You should be happy I'm not on anything now. God knows that's the only way I can get through a whole day." He said, taking a seat on the couch.
"I wish I could help you, Jack. I really do. Especially since no one else even noticed that you are doing drugs. But, Hollywood is Satan's playground, so I'm sure you'd probably find your way back to them."
Jack rolled his eyes as he grew impatient. "What did you call me over here for, Selena?"
"I have something I need to tell you...And since we're always gonna be apart of each other's lives, I feel as if I am obligated to tell you even though it won't effect our relationship."
Jack intently stared at her, waiting for her to continue, kind of wanting her to make this fast, so that he could leave.
Only aware of the sound of her heart pounding against the cage of her chest, Selena digs her fingernails into the palm of her hand, hoping to distract herself from the nerves that were building up. "I have a disease called lupus and I had it for awhile, but I'm taking medic-"
Jack's face screwed up. "Wait, what is that?"
"It's an auto immune disease where my immune system attacks my tissues and organs, but it's okay. I'm okay. It's not contagious or anything, so don't freak out. I just wanted to let you know just in case if anything were to happen then it wouldn't be a surprise."
"What do you mean if anything were to happen? This can kill you?"
"Yeah, it can, bu-"
"Are you taking any treatments, so you can get rid of it?" He asked, scooting to the end of the couch to be closer to her.
Selena shook her head. "No. This is just something I have to live with for the rest of my life, but I do take medication to treat swelling and inflammation. But yeah, it's always gonna be here." She calmly informed, surprised at how well she was keeping herself together.
Jack got up from the couch and took a seat next to her. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. "I'm sorry that you have to go through something like this, but if you ever need anything then just let me know."
There are days where Jack's mind just won't function. Those were the days he only slept, his sprit drained from his body to the point where he couldn't get out of bed.
Then there are the days of clarity. Moments where he felt Yates beating on him with the stick. Moments where he could hear men screaming their lungs out and losing their minds.
The trigger could be something so small. A smell or sports on tv. Not even murdering someone played out in his mind the way those months in prison did.
Jack's body jerked suddenly as his eyes shot open. Almost forgetting where he was until he seen Bianca who was now awoken. He knew from the nightmare he had that he couldn't go back to sleep and this was going to be one of those days of clarity.
Flinching at the touch of Bianca's hand wrapping around his bicep, he gazed down at Bianca who softly smiled at him. "Another nightmare?" She questioned, running her fingers through his disheveled hair.
Jack let out a shaky breath and gave her a small nod, feeling his palms grow even more moist and wet than his forehead.
Bianca pecked his cheek then got out of the bed and put her bra and panties on then left the room.
Like a horror movie, the days spent in solitary confinement played again and again in Jack's mind as if somehow his brain refused to let the images, sights, and feelings go. He just wanted to forget everything and feel nothing.
Bianca walked back into the room where a glass of water in her hand. "Here."
Jack took the glass and drank a sip then watched as she crawled back into bed with him. "What time is it?"
Taking a quick look at her phone, she wrapped her arms around his waist and shut her eyes. "Only eleven."
Jack didn't want to sleep in , especially not past noon. "I gotta go. I have to get over to the hotel so I can sign the divorce papers. I'll call you later."
Ignoring whatever comment Bianca made, he got dressed then drove over to the hotel he was staying at. Once he pulled to the parking lot, he groaned at how many paparazzi were outside waiting for him.
Once Jack stepped out of his car, cameras flashed in his face and the paparazzi asked him questions that weren't any of their business.
"Is it true that Selena kicked you out the house?"
"Jack, are you cheating on Selena?"
"How's life going now that you're out of prison?"
Then there was another questions that stood out to him.
"Why are you and Selena getting a divorce?"
Jack then knew someone went to the media to tell them that him and Selena were in the process of getting a divorce and like he expected, he had the media in his business more than usual. His brothers wouldn't stop calling him either and now he knows why.
Wishing he had one of his bodyguards right now, Jack pushed threw the mob of vultures with their cameras and lastly made it into the hotel lobby where he could breathe.
Once he made it into his hotel room, Jack needed to wipe everything out of his mind. The nightmares and drama had to go.
He went into the bathroom and pulled out a small mirror and a razor blade then the bag of coke which he dumped most of it onto the glass.
Assisted by the razor blade, Jack chopped the white powder into neat lines. Without missing another second, he dipped his head and inhaled strongly.
After his third line, he finally found the numbness his body has been searching for since he woke up. That's what he wanted.
To be numb. Numb, every second of the day, so that he wouldn't have to feel anything. Heartbreak, scarring, loneliness, and trauma faded within seconds.
Jack cleaned the mirror, then looked into the one above the sink. Why were there dark circles under his eyes? He could've sworn he slept enough. And then he couldn't remember if he did get enough sleep, not with those nightmares at least.
But he could barely feel himself breathe, so what the hell did he know?
Jack brought his fingers to his forearm and squeezed the skin hard. Nothing. He didn't feel anything.
This wasn't the kind of numb he wanted. He was literally numb. Not just his soul, but his body.
Feeling as steady as a leaf in a storm, Jack did his best to walk into the bedroom, but his legs didn't work. Somewhere, deep inside he knew his brain was sending signals telling him what to do.
All he wanted to do was lay down on the bed because obviously this high wasn't going as he planned. His legs were swaying left and right ; no matter how many steps he took, Jack was no closer than what he wanted to be.
Then he felt his legs give out and without helping himself, he fell hard against the tile floor. But, he couldn't feel that either.
The only thing he could feel was how cold he was. How fucking freezing the room was. Jack wrapped his arms around his body to try to get warm, but it didn't work. Then everything went dark.
Getting through the swarm of paparazzi, Selena ignored her phone that wouldn't stop ringing and made her way to Jack's hotel suite. She knocked softly at first, patiently waiting for Jack to answer.
Selena knew he was probably in the middle of a fuck right now, but she needed to get the divorce over with, so she knocked harder. "Jack, it's Selena! Open the door, so you can sign the papers!"
It remained silent on the other side. Groaning, she pulled out the key that she demanded Jack give her then unlocked the door and walked in.
"Jack?" She called out, getting nothing in return, she proceeded into the bedroom.
No sign of him in the room, but when she started to turn around to leave, the mirror in the far corner of the room showed the reflection of his body lying cold on the bathroom floor.
Selena rushed into the bathroom where she could see his pale skin and blue lips under the fluorescent light. Her knees hit the tiles and she pulled his head onto her lap.
She brought her two fingers to his neck when she thanked God she could feel his pulse. "Fuck you, Jack." She choked out as she scrambled for her cell that was hidden under everything in her purse.
Flipping the purse upside down, every one of her necessities fell onto the floor including her phone. Selena reached for her phone and dialed the police.
As she sprouted off the information of where they were and what happened, she stood up and grabbed a cloth then ran cold water on it. Her lip quivered as she pressed the cloth against Jack's forehead.
Waiting for the ambulance to arrive, Selena prayed to God that she wouldn't lose the father of her children. She curled her hand around Jack's, and continued to pray.
Because all she could do was pray.