A/N: This story is not just about happily ever after. It is about Elsa's journey to get to what we hope will be her happily ever after. So...
TRIGGER WARNING: DEPRESSION, ATTEMPTED SELF HARM/SUICIDE
Elsa leaned against the railing of the balcony of hers and Nico's new apartment in New Rome. Her arms were crossed, resting on the outer edge of the railing. She was bent over a bit. Her chin rested on top of the railing. Her braid was over one shoulder, resting on the railing to. She heard footsteps leading over to her.
"Thought you might be hungry." Reyna's voice said softly. A paper plate showed itself in Elsa's peripheral vision. "I brought you some cake." Elsa stood up straight slowly. She turned to face Reyna. The older girl was holding out a slice of marble ice cream cake. Elsa accepted the plate, and the fork that she was handed, even though she wasn't really hungry. She hadn't really eaten all day. Just told Nico that she would, as soon as she did this, that, or the other. He was distracted as well. They had just moved into their apartment, and had finally finished unpacking that day. The two of them were having a house warming party. Reyna, Frank, Hazel, and Jason were there of course. Gwen, Dakota, and Leila were too.
Elsa didn't really want to be a part of the party. She just greeted everyone, sticking on a smile for five minutes, and then slipped out onto the balcony to look at the sky. The stars were coming out. And the moon was out too…
"Thank you." She sighed. She stared at the cake for a moment, taking another bite. Elsa couldn't bring herself to eat anymore. She let out another sigh, and placed the paper plate on the railing. "I'm sorry. I'm just not hungry." She muttered.
"Nico told me." Reyna informed her sadly. "I'm so sorry." Elsa shrugged. And then Reyna gently hugged her. Elsa leaned into it, hugging back. She buried her face into Reyna's shoulder, willing herself not to cry.
"I wish I were dead." Elsa whispered, her voice shaking.
"I know it hurts." Reyna rubbed Elsa's back. "Though, I don't know exactly how much. I'm here for you, Elsa. Alright? You can talk to me."
"I know." She whispered.
The problem was, Elsa didn't know what to say. She felt empty. Like every day, she'd drag herself along. She didn't really feel like leaving the apartment. She'd eat and drink when Nico or someone she cared about (Reyna or Hazel) asked her to, but she wouldn't otherwise. Elsa found herself lying awake for most of the night. She felt hopeless.
Her powers still didn't work. Elsa tried every morning, until she stopped trying. Most days, she locked herself away in her room. She shoved her bed into the corner, sometimes only sleeping a couple of hours if she was able to do so at all. The bed was almost never made, and the sheets were rarely changed. The blinds stayed open, unless Elsa was trying to sleep during the day, which was rare, except in mornings. Often, when the sun began to grace the horizon, Elsa would try to sleep.
She spent most of the rest of the day painting. She'd taken up the hobby to pass the time. There were stacks of paper with her paintings on them in her room. One was up to her waist, coming from the floor.
Elsa would sit at her stool with her watercolor palette, mainly using the dark colors. She'd only leave the apartment to get another roll of paper for her easel, more paint, or brushes. She'd have music playing in the background—a playlist that she'd created.
Where was Nico during all of this? He was off taking classes to get his GED. Elsa had been able to convince him that she was alright, and had persuaded to just leave her be. However, this did not mean that Nico had totally abandoned Elsa. This just meant that Elsa was guaranteed time alone in the apartment to cry. He did bring her dishes and cups of food and beverages.
If Nico was home while Elsa went out to get more art supplies, he'd quickly change her sheets, tidy her room, and wash her clothes. He'd remove cups, dishes, and silverware from her room.
Elsa was usually able to bring herself to take care of her personal hygiene. Nico would remind her of things like this. But crying in the shower was something Elsa often did, because then she could be alone, and just let it out while Nico was home. He couldn't do a thing about it when she cried in the shower. For one thing, Elsa locked the door. Second, he couldn't just go in there while she was showering.
To be blunt, Elsa was pushing Nico away. She was really withdrawn now. She wasn't very responsive. Neither Hazel nor Reyna could really do very much either. But Nico no longer heard her screaming from having nightmares anymore. What he didn't know was that the nightmares left her curled up in a ball on her bed (often crying), or painting at her easel. Her night showers didn't wake him up anymore, so she was free to cry in there.
This went on for two months. Nico felt so useless during all of this. Elsa would not be helped. She'd refused to see a therapist. She refused to see any type of doctor, in fact.
One morning, she dressed herself in her nightgown. Well, technically it was morning. The sun had not yet risen. It wouldn't for another hour.
Anyway, Elsa had cried in the shower. She was sick of the way that she'd been living. So, she went to the kitchen, and took a steak knife from the drawer. She opened the door to the balcony. Elsa stepped out into the cool September morning air. It rustled her nightgown. It was old fashioned; white, with ruffles. It had short sleeves, and tickled the top of her feet.
She climbed on top of the railing, wobbling slightly. Her arms were out like a tightrope walker. She was on the third floor—the top. Had Elsa been able to find a way to jump off the roof, she would have. Anyway, her plan was to stab herself in the heart, and fling herself off the balcony. She would be found by whoever was in the courtyard soonest.
Elsa tried to stab herself, but found something strange… The knife wouldn't go in. It cut the fabric of her silk nightgown, but it would not pierce her skin.
"What the fuck?" She muttered. She tried to drive the knife into her heart. But it just would not hurt her. Because of Elsa's surprise, she went over the edge of the balcony. This also surprised her, and she let out a hoarse scream.
Elsa felt like she was falling in slow motion. She was facing up; her arms reaching for the balcony desperately. Her gut dropped.
When she fell flat on her back; onto the concrete of the courtyard, Elsa laid there for a moment, and began to realize what she'd done. She had attempted suicide. All for a girl. Albeit, her soulmate who didn't love her back, but all for a girl, nonetheless. The thing that saved her was the fact that she was immortal—indestructible.
"Oh gods… I am so stupid." She whispered, sitting up. "What's wrong with me?" Elsa was in disbelief with herself. She needed help.
Nico had been awakened by Elsa's scream, knowing that sound anywhere. He'd checked the bathroom, and her room, before realizing that it had come from the direction of the living room, where there was the balcony. Realization had dawned over him, and he'd rushed to see if she was still alive. But he found Elsa sitting on the ground in the courtyard, knife in hand, but unharmed. Nico grabbed the keys to the apartment, and sprinted down the stairs and to his sister.
"Are you okay?" He gasped, panting. Elsa looked up at him, and guilt washed over her. She hadn't thought about what her suicide would do to him or their friends. Or Calypso…
"Yeah. I'm fine. Now I am." Elsa smile ruefully. She stood up, and looked down at the ground. "Can we talk?"
And so Elsa talked to him about everything. She showed him all of her paintings. Most of them were depressing, as Elsa was depressed. She recognized that her behavior was that of a depressed person. So Elsa agreed to therapy, having realized that she really needed it. She apologized to Nico and their friends, even though nobody really blamed her for anything. Elsa had a mental illness: PTSD. That meant that she was prone to feelings of depression. She was having a rough time.
Elsa promised herself and everyone around her that she'd shape herself up. She'd improve her mental health. She'd rise again.
She had the materials and support to do so. Now, it just depended on whether she could or not.
A/N: I never wanted Elsa to be the type of character who relies on a lover to make everything better. So she isn't. She relies on her friends when she needs them, but not some romantic lover.