Destiny - Heart of a Baker, Soul of a Hunter

by SalaciousNothings

Peeta Mellark, the baker's son saved Katniss Everdeen's life at the age of eleven when he threw the burnt bread one rainy day. She never thanked him let alone acknowledged his existence. She hated owing him but knew there would come a day when she would repay him. Little did she realize that her life was bound to his forever. It was inevitable. AU HG, OOC Everlark

27. Chapter 27 - A Whole Lot of Hell

Chapter 27 – A Whole Lot of Hell

AN: My thanks to those who left a review [Mspriss523, DramionEverlarklover26, 32sheshe, pumpkinking5, Nai1987, LACR, J, jroseley, B Dizzy, pistonsfan75 and guest] and those who alerted and favored 'Destiny.' If I failed to acknowledge you, my site had a bug that didn't post your review. The problem wasn't fixed until 24 hours later. So if you don't see your name I THANK YOU.

Please note that the rating to this fic is now rated M for sexual content and foul language, etc. Turn back now for you've been warned if this type of content offends you. This chapter contains Jay, Jimmy, Peeta and Katniss' POVs. Yeah it's a lot but I know you love hearing Everlark's POVs. Any mistakes and errors found in this chapter are mine. Hunger Games belongs to Suzanne Collins.

---

Jay POV ––

The night before Rye's wedding -

It wasn't my intention to seek out Jimmy but as I was on my way home after the card game, I found myself headed towards the bakery. I still felt ill at ease with my interaction with my friend. His friendship was important to me; I couldn't afford to lose it. "Jimmy," I called out, as he was about to enter the bakery entrance. "Wait I need to talk to you."

He turned around. He was still angry as his face showed rage and a modicum of control. I stepped back in case he wanted to hit. I didn't blame him but I wasn't about to let him strike at me in anger. "Listen I know you're angry––"

"I'm beyond angry, Jay," he said my name with derision and vitriol.

"Can we not do this out here?" I gestured my eyes around us. It was dark and near curfew.

Jimmy turned around without a single word and left me outside to follow him. Once inside I could hear Rye snoring above us. "What do you want now? My son Rye too for your war against the Capitol? You want to make a video of him as well."

"Jimmy," I sighed with impatience and resignation. "Please listen. I know I hurt you and Peeta…"

"Not only did you hurt him, you condemned him to a life he never wanted. All he wanted was to…love a girl he's been pining for most of his life. And what did you do? Made him a target not only to Snow but to District 13," he spat.

"I know that there is nothing I can do to undo what I've done but we…you and I need to get past it," I uttered with desperation. I told the guys of my plans but there was something else I omitted because I needed Jimmy's consent first.

"Well, it's not like there is anything you can do is there but make him join our cause," he sneered back. "I…Peeta doesn't have a choice either. So guess what? Let's just move on and put a bigger target on my son's back." He walked over to the back of the bakery and entered the kitchen. He reached over a shelf and pulled out a glass and a bottle of whiskey.

"I want to speak to you not as the MockingJay but as one father to anoter," I said. I had to choose my words carefully because what I had to say to Jimmy would make or break our friendship. "But first as your leader, I made the decision with the districts in mind not about any individual because in order for us to succeed we…we all knew the sacrifices were going to make. The sacrifices we've already made. We will lose a lot before we achieve our goal." The loss of lives was inevitable; it was a certainty during war.

"And you were so quick to place my son's life in danger," he said between clenched teeth.

"Jimmy had I known that was going to happen––"

"The worst part was that you did this without consulting any of us," he mentioned. "I thought that we would consult each other with matters that concern the people in his district. You…created that video––"

"Jimmy," I sighed as he offered another glass and poured me a drink, which I took. The liquid burned my throat. "I will do everything in my power to protect the children, yours and mine to keep them safe." Jimmy was about to disagree but I cut him off. "And I know I failed Peeta. Unknowingly, I failed him regardless of my intentions. So I swear to you Jimmy. If he will stand by me, I will do whatever it takes to keep him safe."

"How can you guarantee his safety now? From Snow?"

"Let him join us and I will personally train him myself. Take him under my wing so to speak to learn how to fight."

"Peeta can and knows how to defend himself," Jimmy reminded me. "I didn't allow him to train as a wrestler just for the fun of it." I remembered the first time he told me how Peeta was being bullied in school. He came home with a black eye one day. At first I thought, it was Evelyn who had injured him, but later learned that the school bully was picking on Peeta. He wasn't built like Graham and Rye who were tall, broad and stocky. Peeta was lean and wiry; he looked frail to most eyes. He was also soft spoken and tender hearted.

"Yes, he's capable of defending himself during hand to hand combat but he's need to learn other skills like archery or shooting a gun," I suggested.

"You're going to teach Peeta how to shoot with a bow and arrow?" He looked stunned.

"Yes, if you'll permit it."

"We still haven't considered one thing," he said.

"And what is that?"

"Training him is a good idea and all, but what if Peeta doesn't want to join the rebellion?" he stated. "What if he decided that after everything that has happened to him, what if this is just too much for him to handle? He's only sixteen, Jay." I felt his pain and frustration. But I also as a father felt his fear most of all.

"Jimmy, do you honestly believe that Peeta who has endured so much pain, after almost dying from Cray and meeting Snow, that he would not want to fight for us. Your son was a born a fighter. He may not know how to fight with a bow or gun, but he has his words, his gentle soul but most of all his heart. People see that in him––his integrity, his courage and strength. I need that kind of inspiration to fight beside me."

I took another shot of whiskey. "Do you want to know why people admire and gravitate towards Peeta and Katniss? Because people even those in the Capitol see a boy and girl with heart and spirit. They see innocence and strength. They see his charm and his wit. They see her strength and courage. Those qualities are lost in this day and age. They epitomize the idea that there are people out there like them; that they still exist. He doesn't fight with a gun in his hand but with his courage and his heart."

"Then what are you, Jay? What do you symbolize?"

"I am defiance, a warrior against oppression and injustice. I am an avenging angel that wreaks death and destruction. I am the opposite of the Star Crossed Lovers of District 12. That is why I need Peeta and Katniss by my side. With him and Katniss fighting along side me people will follow because they need hope. They are the symbol of love and hope."

"I'm scared…Jay. I don't want to lose him," he confessed.

"You won't. Peeta's strong and brave, Jimmy. Trust in him and in me." He remained quiet for a few seconds absorbing what I said. "There is something you should know," I professed. "There are rumors out there that Peeta's name will be picked on reaping day." Jimmy gasped. His anger replaced by fear for his son. "It's just a rumor but you know about rumors? There is a tinge of truth behind it."

"But Haymitch said that Snow wouldn't dare rig the lottery to get to Peeta?"

"There so much chaos going on in the districts that no one knows about," I said. "He can't risk Peeta elevating his status any more that it already has. He knows he can't control him now. The dog attack a few weeks ago was a warning. Peeta is a threat to him."

"How certain are you with the information that you receive is real?"

"That's the problem, I'm not 100% sure it's true, Jimmy," I admitted.

"Oh my God, what should I do?"

"Nothing for now. Listen, it's just speculation. Maybe it's Snow way of trying to lure me out into the open. Who knows?"

"Why did you tell me this?" he cried out in anguish.

"I heard about it and debated whether I should warn you. I almost didn't."

"And you decided to tell me because?"

"If Peeta gets reaped and I knew about, I know that you would never forgive me for not telling you. I've already caused so much damage and hurt to your family, Jimmy," I relented.

"What do you think of Peeta's odds?" he asked. He needed reassurance and I knew I had to be honest with him no matter how much the truth may hurt.

"Realistically, I think…Snow won't reap Peeta, like Haymitch said it's a really bad political move. It would be coincidental if his name was picked." Jimmy sighed in relief.

"Anyway, I also came to tell you to get your family and all your relatives to start to prepare for quick evacuation. I didn't say anything to the other guys but, I feel we'll need to mobilize District 12 soon."

"How soon?"

"After the games and before the Victory Tour," I answered. "I have a suspicion that 13 is going to do something soon and they're leaving me out of their plans. In the meantime, let's stick to the plans."

"How do you know all this?"

"I've been communicating with Gale and he sensed that there is something going on that he's not privy to," I said. "It just a feeling he's sensing since they don't tell him anything. So in the meantime, your plan to have Peeta, Tyler and yourself visit your family in District 9 is a good idea. Haymitch will watch and protect Rye and Delly while you're away."

"I don't think I want to leave now, Jay," he said. "What if something happens to them while we're gone?"

"Trust Haymitch to take care of the rest of your family, Jimmy," I stated. "You've been trusting him to take care of Peeta, he will do the same for Rye and Delly." With a heavy heart he agreed. There wasn't much he could do but be with his family. He had no choice.

As for me, I was anxious. I needed to convince Peeta and Katniss to join the rebellion as they both were our only hope to rally the district to follow us. I never realized that when I joined and accepted the responsibilities of becoming the MockingJay that I would end up relying on two young kids to sacrifice their lives and join our cause. Had I been aware of this I would not have volunteered. The fate now belongs to unlikely kids from my district––the Star Crossed Lovers of District 12. May God help and forgive for what I must do to ensure Panem's future.

---

Jimmy POV ––

"Uh, Dad are you okay?" Peeta's voice startled me.

"Oh, Peeta. What?" I asked. My hands ached sweat beaded my forehead. I wiped the sheen with the back of my hand.

"Well, you've been pounding on that poor dough for the last ten minutes," he observed. "I think it's done." He had a big smile on his face. He was up bright and early making breakfast and preparing his lunch. At a young age Peeta was self reliant and independent. He made his own lunches not relying on me or his mother to prepare his school meal and snacks. I admired him for it but realized it was the first clue of him not depending on me, I missed it completely as a sign of him pulling away from me as a father he needed and trusted to take care of him.

"Oh, sorry," I apologized as I wiped my hands on a towel. "I guess my mind is elsewhere."

"I know. I've been trying to get your attention for the past five minutes." His demeanor changed from happy to concern. "Is everything okay?" I hated that my problems affected him in any way. Last night he was happy when he came back from walking Katniss and Prim home from the wedding. And for the first time in weeks I knew he slept well. When he came back from his 'visit' from the Capitol he tossed and turned in his sleep in a midst of a nightmare. But last night he slept right through. He looked well rested and content.

"Oh, son," I said. "Everything is fine. I mean, Rye and Delly are married and having a baby, and you're back with Katniss. Everything is great," I said as I tried to put a smile on my face. But Peeta knew me; he recognized that there was something wrong.

"Dad, no secrets please," he said. "I can tell something is wrong." I gulped. I have kept the biggest secret from him and my boys. I had to…to protect them. After the card game with the guys, I was unsettled, angry, frustrated and anxious. Soon I was about to change his life forever. Or least Jay was going to.

"Dad," Peeta sighed. He knew my 'tells' as I was not a good card player as I avoided confrontations and trouble.

"I do have to talk to you though after school," I said.

"Oh? You don't want to tell me now." I couldn't. He was having a good morning and I didn't want to ruin it. He was happy and cheerful for once.

"It could wait until then." Peeta turned and took out two large loaves of bread. "That's a lot of bread, Peeta. You hungry?" I was encouraged by his energy. Having Katniss back in his life seemed to have invigorated him and his appetite.

"Oh, I'm making lunch for me, Katniss, Prim and Madge" he answered. "I just couldn't make lunch for me and Katniss with Madge and Prim sitting with us. It would be rude."

"Oh, that's very nice of you." I returned. He whistled while he created four sandwiches, packed dessert and napkins in large brown bag. He worked with great concentration and purpose all along with a smile on his face. I sighed and smiled to myself. I haven't seen him this happy for a long time. However, days from now his world will once again be shattered.

"I'm going now, Dad," he said. "Remember that later this evening I'm going on my first date with Katniss. So don't make dinner." He waved good-bye and walked out the bakery. I watched him sauntered towards school when a voice cried his name.

"Peeta," Katniss called out to him. Peeta turned around and waited for her and Prim to catch up to him. He extended his hand and continued to walk to school together hand in hand. I smiled then a few seconds later as I watched them disappear in the horizon. My stomach lurched from anxiety. I didn't have time to react when I heard the sound of Tyler who was upstairs crying out for attention. I rushed to the second floor.

I picked him up and he settled down after a few minutes. He whimpered as his big blue eyes glued onto mine. The eyes mirrored back reminding me of my boys. Looking done to him brought back years to a time when I became a new father scared to death with the new role into fatherhood.

"Hey, Tyler. I know that you expected to see Peeta but…he's at school so you have me until Mrs. Cartwright gets here." I rocked him in my arms for a few minutes. The motion soothed him as his eyes slowly closed. As he slept in my arms, I thought back to years I held all my boys in my arms. I thought of the years I hid behind my cowardice not protecting them from Evelyn as she abused them mentally, emotionally and physically. I would never forgive myself for the damage she done to them. I was lucky that they turned out to be decent young man that any father would be proud of, especially Peeta since he received the brunt of Evelyn's bitterness and abuse.

"I know it's too late for Peeta and Rye, but I swear that I will never let your grandmother near you. I failed them but I won't fail you. As for your uncles Peeta and Rye, I will do my best to make sure nothing happens to the either," I swore. It was an empty promise since I knew that our lives in a few weeks or days were about to change especially for Peeta. I debated on whether I should reveal Jay's identity to Rye. It wouldn't be fair or right if I kept it him in the dark. But with his impending state of fatherhood, how could I add more pressure in his new life? I was in a conundrum.

Luckily, Haymitch turned up at the bakery around lunchtime. It hadn't been busy as I hoped but welcomed the peace and quiet. Since Peeta's rising popularity, the bakery was busier than ever as both Merchant and Seam visited the store in pretense to buy bread when I knew they wanted to see Panem's Golden Boy. "Haymitch, I'm so glad you stopped by," I greeted him.

He raised a finger to his lips as a sign to stopped talking. "How are you doing Jimmy? Certainly was a nice surprise Rye and Delly telling you about the pregnancy." While he spoke, he pulled out a small black devise from his pant pocket. I recognized it. He scanned the room as he continued. "Got yourself a new daughter in law and grandson that's pretty incredible news." He walked into the kitchen and inspected every room then upstairs. We spoke about nonsense for a few more minutes while he continued to scan the shop and residential area.

"Yes, best news I had in a long time." He gestured to an all clear sign that the building was free from any listening devise. I sighed in relief. I should have thought of that––with Peeta's newfound popularity with Snow and the Capitol I should have sought measures to find any listening devices in my home and business. However I was to busy worrying about Peeta and trying to get over Graham's death to think clearly.

"Thank you for thinking about that," I said to Haymitch as he too sighed in relief.

"It crossed my mind when Peeta visited me the night before the wedding," he returned. "I should have thought of it earlier but when Peeta came over––"

"Speaking of which," I started to say.

He raised his hands in surrender. "Jimmy, I'm sorry, but I can't help it if Peeta visited me the night before Rye's wedding," he defended himself. I had not completely gotten over the fact that Peeta refused to stay home the night before the wedding. It stung that he wanted to stay with Haymitch. I closed my eyes and tried to remember the argument between Peeta and me that made me realized that I had lost him and I never realized it.

---

Flashback ––

"Dad, please let me go," Peeta said between clenched teeth. "I can't…I don't want to stay here." His hands were balled up into fists.

"Why Peeta? I just don't understand why you need to leave. This is Rye's last night here at the bakery. This is our last night together with Rye." I thought of Graham, missing my eldest son. His death was still fresh and raw tearing into my heart and soul as each day passed. There was a hole in my heart that would never heal. Whenever I looked at Tyler, I had to remind myself that he wasn't visiting me, but now belonged to Peeta. My youngest boy, my sixteen-year old boy was now a father to his nephew.

"I just can't stay, dad," he signed in resignation. "Too many memories, it hurts living here knowing that Graham is gone and he left me his son. It's too much. I just need one night, dad. I want one night when I can sleep without thinking about Graham, Tyler and being here….tomorrow I'll be the responsible uncle to Tyler and best man for Rye but for tonight. I need space. Please dad?"

"Peeta, I know that we haven't really spoke since you came back." I didn't want to push him so I gave him space. I knew that if I pushed him to talk, he would dig into his heels and remain quiet. He was stubborn in his way as he took after me in that aspect of keeping his feelings and emotions to himself. Graham and Rye, they were the opposite. They let their feelings known whether they were angry, sad and happy. For Peeta, it was as if he was afraid to reveal himself to world.

It was only his crush and infatuation with Katniss that he had no control over. I watched him for years admire and long for her. He had his heart on his sleeves when it came to her. "Is this because of Katniss?" He sighed and shook his head.

"Yes, no, I don't want to talk about it dad," he said.

His refusal to talk to me stung. "But you can talk to Haymitch?" I was getting angry. Not at Peeta but his 'bond' that developed between them. For the past few weeks I watched him with Haymitch as he depended and relied on him especially coming back from the Capitol. "I'm your father––"

"Who instigated the fight between me and Katniss and ruined us," he sneered back. The look in his eyes he sent me was filled with anger. I gasped in shame and guilt. He was right. I ruined his tenuous and fragile relationship with Katniss. "Because of you she ran, we had a fight and broke up. So that is on you." I shrank back and turned my head not wanting to see the venom in his eyes. "There are no happy memories for me here."

"I'm sorry Peeta," I said with as much remorse and sincerity. "I never apologized for ruining things between you and Katniss. I never…I didn't mean to cause you anymore pain."

"But you did," he said. Peeta turned and bent over his hands on top of his knees. "How could you do that, dad? We…Katniss and I were just starting to get to know each other and you…you ruined it for me. You knew how much she meant to me."

"Peeta, please believe me. I didn't mean for that to happen," I said. "I was angry and I took it out on her." I took a step forward. "I didn't know she would run."

"I should have realized that it was too good to be true," he said as he straightened up and shoved both hands in his pockets. "I was kidding myself thinking I had a chance with her." The pain in my heart intensified.

"So you've decided not to give Katniss a chance?" He turned around and faced me.

"A lot has happened while I was in the Capitol." I opened my mouth to ask him but he raised his hand. "Please don't ask me, I'm not ready to talk about it."

"Does Haymitch at least know?" If I couldn't help at least I needed to know that someone else could.

"A few things, not a lot," he admitted. "Dad, I love because you're my dad, but there are some things I can't talk about. I'm not ready. I don't know if I'll be ready to tell you. Please don't take it personally. It's just my burden to carry." Secrets, he had secrets between Haymitch and him. I felt hurt and insulted that he didn't rely on me.

I stood before him feeling lost and useless. But Peeta, my ever forgiving and loving son had a big enough heart to not only forgive me but to comfort me even though I was the one that injured him. He walked over and hugged me. I had tears in my eyes. "Don't ever think that I don't love you because I do."

"But can you forgive me?" I needed his forgiveness for ruining his chance with Katniss. "Listen, Peeta. I know it was my fault that you broke up with Katniss."

"She shouldn't have ran," he said. "I don't know if I can keep running after her if that's how she will react when things go bad between us."

"She got scared. I'm not making excuses for her but I need you to do one thing before you decide and make a mistake that you'll regret for the rest of your life." I pulled him back and placed both hands on his shoulders.

"Listen, you've loved her all your life. I had always thought that you never had a chance to be with her because you're Merchant and she is Seam. But…for some miracle, fate intervened and…you got together. At first it as lie, but it was like fate kept pushing you together. And you had a chance to get to know her."

"It didn't last long."

"And that was my fault," I confessed. "Please don't let my anger and stupidity ruin what you wanted all your life. And by the looks of it, she wants you too."

"I don't know dad. What if we date and she finds out I'm not what she really wants?"

"Then at least, you gave it a try. There is no greater risk than giving you heart to someone. You don't want to go through your life wondering what ifs, Peeta. You don't want to have regrets." For a few seconds, I could see Peeta's mind churning. The clock struck displaying that it was almost curfew time.

"Now, go," I ordered him. "If you really need to get away then you better leave now before curfew." Peeta hugged me once more. "I don't like you leaving and I know you enough to know that you'll just sneak out anyway so go."

"Thanks Dad," he returned. He walked into Tyler's room to check up on him.

"Peeta, really think about what I said," I stated. "You have a really good chance to be happy with Katniss. Don't let your pride get in the way to your happiness."

End of Flashback ––

---

"It wasn't my fault," Haymitch boomed his voice bringing back to reality. "At least he was with me instead of him running around late at night––"

"Relax Haymitch, I'm not mad at all about Peeta staying with you," I said. I was but I wasn't about to rehash something that was over with and my jealousy of his closeness to my son. Haymitch was my friend that my son befriended as well. He only saw the good in people and despite Haymitch's sullen, brooding, and sarcastic disposition, Peeta enjoyed his company and admired him. He was a good influence to Haymitch. I saw the changes in him since Peeta's incident with Cray.

"You're not? Oh, okay good," he returned relief obvious in his eyes. "Because as much I adore your kid, he's a handful. I don't know how you manage to keep a business and keep that boy out of trouble."

"Just stop gripping Haymitch," I smirked. "You love Peeta. Just admit it."

"Anyway, what do you need to talk about?" he smirked back.

"I'm worried about him. Actually I'm worried about Rye and Delly too," I admitted.

"I can assure you that nothing will happen to you kids, Jimmy," he said.

"How can you been certain?" I asked. "Haymitch, I'm going to ask you something and you need to be truthful. Peeta doesn't talk to me. It's my fault that he doesn't confide in me. I know that."

"What do you need to know?" he asked. Haymitch looked uneasy. His posture and demeanor only solidified my fears.

"He hinted that something happened when he was at the Capitol, something bad. It hurts that he won't talk to me about it. Did something happen to him?" He kept quiet for a few seconds.

"If Peeta didn't confide in you, Jimmy," he started. "It's not my secret to tell. It has to come from him." I anticipated his answer. He wouldn't tell me. "But I can tell you that he's okay. Nothing really bad happened."

"Are you sure that nothing bad happened to him?" The silence between us answered my question. He wouldn't divulge more than he already hinted. "I need you to do me a favor."

"Anything, just tell me what you need," he said. "If I have it my power to help you, just ask me."

"I appreciate that you're helping Peeta. I know that he confides in you more than he does with me. So at least I know that you're helping him."

"He's a great kid, Jimmy. Despite his…upbringing he's pretty remarkable." I nodded my head. You did a great job raising your boys."

"Thanks but Graham, Rye and Peeta did that on their own without much influence on my part."

"Well, they had to get compassion and kindness from someone and its' definitely wasn't from Evelyn, I can assure you. Give yourself some credit. Be grateful they didn't inherit Evelyn's mean spirit." he comforted me.

"Anyway, I just need to know that you'll have his back, that when I can't protect him. You'll be there because I need to also make sure that I don't neglect Rye and Tyler. I know I've been so focused on Peeta that I don't want Rye to resent me."

"Has he said anything to you?" I shook my head.

"No, since he's focused on taking care of me and Peeta. I want him to be able to rely on me the way Peeta relies on you."

"Don't be hard on him, Jimmy," he said. "There's reasons why he's distancing himself from you. It isn't because he doesn't trust you. He's protecting you." I wished I could believe it but I knew a part of Peeta didn't trust me to protect him as I failed to protect him from his mother most of his life. "But you don't have to worry. I will watch over him, I'm promise." I sighed in relief.

"So are you okay with our plans?" He asked. 'Was I ready?' I will never be ready and okay playing with Peeta's life and Katniss as well. I thought of the repercussions and consequences to our plans.

"No, I hate this, Haymitch," I uttered. "I can't stand the fact that we're doing this to him and Katniss.

"Jay is right. We have to do this to protect them and everyone in 12." I nodded my head as I was resigned to Peeta's fate. "It's either placing their lives in President Coin's hands or President Snow. We need them and I swear to you that we will protect Peeta and Katniss."

His assurances only appeased me for a few minutes, but I knew that I could trust Peeta's life in their care. I just hoped that I didn't live to regret it.

With business slow, I headed towards the Justice Building and filled out a few forms. "Hey, Jimmy, what are you doing here?" Heath asked as he sauntered into the clerk's office. He elbowed me in teasing manner. "Anyone else getting married soon?" I smirked.

"I don't know what and who you're implying but no. No one is getting married," I confirmed.

"So what are you doing here then?" He leaned over my shoulder to look at my forms I was filling. Heath's eyes grew wide. "Is that?" I nodded my head. "Why?"

"I just need to do something for Peeta," I answered. "He's been through so much that I thought of taking him away to visit some folks I still have in District 9."

"That's a good idea," he agreed. "The poor boy has been through a lot. Are you going to take Tyler with you?"

"Yeah, I don't think Peeta would want to leave him behind with…you know who lurking around." I couldn't trust Evelyn to stay away. She legally may not have the right to have Tyler but she was devious enough to go behind my back as well as Peeta's to see him.

"I know it's going to take a month to get it approved so please don't say anything to anyone." I didn't want to have Evelyn disrupt or ruin my plans.

"Okay, Jimmy," he said back. "Does Haymitch know what you're doing?" I nodded my head.

"Good luck, you're going to need it," Heath chuckled and shook his head. I knew the odds of my request to be approved was fifty-fifty but…

I waited until the bakery was closed and sent Prim and Katniss home to talk to Peeta. When he came back from school he held Katniss' hand until he reached the bakery. Before going to the kitchen he kissed her cheek and went to work. All afternoon my stomach was in knots as I waited for the perfect moment to speak to him.

"So are you prepared for your date with Katniss," Rye smiled at his younger brother. There was glint in his eyes as he waggled his eyes brows. Peeta glanced at Rye suspicion in his eyes.

"Leave him alone Rye," Delly interceded. I had no idea what was going on but I had my suspicions.

"What? I just asking him a simple question," Rye returned with an air of fake innocence and mischief.

"Don't be a jerk, husband of mine," she said. Rye looked please with his new title as he smiled back to his wife. "Don't tease him. He already has a lot on his mind without you adding pressure on him."

"I bet," Rye leered. "So fine, I'm not going to say anything but give you this." He extended his hand to Peeta. Between his fingers was a condom. I smothered a laugh that was caught in my throat. Peeta's eyes grew big with shock and embarrassment. "And if you need some tips how to please Katniss I can give pointers––ow, Delly." She raised her hand and backhanded his head.

"Don't be dick. Peeta doesn't need your advise how to take care of Katniss," she berated him. "If you don't leave him alone I'll tell Peeta what Graham said to you––"

"You wouldn't dare?" Rye challenged her his face flushed with embarrassment. She stared back at him challenging him back.

"I was only trying to help," he laughed as she pulled on his arm and dragged him away.

"Good night dad, Rye and I are leaving for the day." She hugged Peeta goodbye and exited the shop with Rye's laughter resonating in the air. "See you tomorrow."

"You know that Rye's was only teasing but––"

"Don't start, dad," Peeta mumbled his cheeks were bright red like a tomato and his eyes closed.

"Don't be embarrassed, Peeta. I know that Rye was teasing you and I know that you're very responsible but sometimes your hormones and your body take over and––"

"Really dad, you need to stop," he whined. "You gave me that speech when I turned 12 and it was embarrassing then as it is now."

"Yeah, but now there is the reality that you and Katniss will eventually––" Tyler's cries interrupted me.

"Oh thank god, excuse me dad but Tyler needs me," he rushed as he walked passed me and exited the kitchen. I smiled then a second later I laughed so hard my stomach ached.

As Peeta prepared for his date, I continued to clean the kitchen and prepare my own dinner. It dawned on me that in the near future, Peeta would eventually marry and have family of his own. The bakery seemed empty and lifeless now without all my three boys. I've always known what lay ahead of me––the boys and Evelyn, the bakery and our growing family with Rye's engagement to Delly and as we anticipated their wedding. Now, within two months our lives changed so dramatically and profoundly. I almost lost Peeta so many times, Graham and Sonja's death, my divorce, Rye and Delly's wedding and pregnancy. It was too much to bear. Sorrow, grief and joy intermingled.

Soon, our lives will once again be altered but this time, it's the whole district with our fate held by Jay and District 13's hands. I knew that the rebellion was inevitable I just never imaged that my sixteen year old son Peeta become a major part of the power struggle as both the Capitol and District 13 wanted him for their own agenda.

With a heavy sigh I walked upstairs to talk to Peeta. "Do you think I should get flowers for Katniss' mom as well." He took time to gather flowers for her. It sat in the cold storage room downstairs. He put great effort in picking the blooms. The bouquet was beautiful.

"You're dating Katniss, Peeta," I smirked. "No need to impress her mom."

"I wasn't thinking about impressing her mom," he said his brow furled. "I just thought it's rude to bring flowers for her and not her mom."

"You should get flowers for Prim if that's the case. And something for her dad as well if you don't want to be rude to him too."

"Oh, I guess you're right," he returned as he slipped into his shirt. He appeared nervous for someone on his first date. But then again, he was pretending to date Katniss the first time so I can understood his uneasiness and feelings for this official date.

"I'm really proud of you Peeta." All his life I barely praised and supported him, but this…dating a girl from the Seam I felt frightened and proud at the same time.

"Thank dad. You saying that means a lot to me."

"Peeta, before you leave I need to speak to you for a second." My mouth felt dry and my forehead glistened with sweat. I hoped that I was making the right decision. "I was thinking…after the reaping ceremony, I was thinking of visiting my relatives in District 9." I had relatives who came from nine as they were farmers. My great, great grandfather fell in love with a girl visiting District 12. I haven't been in contact with them for years but I still had family there. "I was thinking of taking you with me. And Tyler of course."

"What? Why? Who's going to watch the bakery with the both of us gone?" He had valid questions and I was prepared to answer them. Jay, Haymitch and I thought of every single angle and scheme to pull this off. I just hoped it didn't backfire.

"Well, I was thinking of going after school is over. Rye is capable enough to watch the shop with Delly and Katniss, and I can easily get additional help if needed."

"When did you decide all this?"

"When you were at the Capitol?" I schooled my emotions as to not give away my feelings of fear, anxiety and the lie behind my suggestion.

"Why now? Why now just when Katniss and I are just starting out?" he said his tone filled with a tinge of anger. "Why do you…why does it feel like you're trying to separate me from Katniss, dad? I just don't understand why you're doing this now when we have never visited any relatives before?"

"I just thought with so much happening to you, I thought we can take a couple of weeks off away from work––"

"And Katniss," he interjected. "I don't want to leave her."

"I'm not trying to separate you from her, Peeta. In fact, I thought I can ask Garrett and Lily's permission to take Katniss with us." Peeta looked shocked and surprised.

"I just don't understand why now?" How could I explain to him without giving myself away, why I…we need to get Peeta and Katniss away from District 12 in order for our plan to work. Once they were free and clear I had to convince Rye and Delly to leave just as Garrett has to get Prim and Lily to safety as well. We were leaving 12 as soon as possible. The rebellion was soon to start and District 12 was the epicenter.

"Peeta, you have one more year," I started. "And the thing is I pray every day that you will survive the lottery. I'm not trying to tempt fate but I thought it would be nice to take you away from all this…" I gestured around me. "Just two weeks away from 12 with hopefully Katniss to join us."

"You think that you can convince Mr. and Mrs. Everdeen to let Katniss come with us, without a chaperone?"

"Well, she isn't really going to be without a chaperone. I am coming with you two," I chuckled. He was quiet for a long time that I thought he was ignoring me as he continued to dress for his date. "Peeta?"

"I can't think about this now, dad," he muttered back as he bent over to tie his shoes. "I'm already nervous about my date with Katniss and you had to…you had to bring this up now." I knew my timing was ill-conceived but time was running out. Jay was going to meet with them right after the reaping and it was only a few days from now. We have so many things to plan and execute before then.

"I'm sorry but…I had to ask since I already filled out the visitation/transportation forms at the Justice Building."

"You did? When?"

"This morning while you were in school," I answered. "Anyway, just think about it. I just filed the paper work and hopefully it'll be approved by the end of the month. Just think about it until then." He continued to dress so I left him alone.

Half an hour later, Peeta left for his date leaving me alone with Tyler. I felt guilty for adding more stress in his life, but this plan was necessary. It was planned for his safety in mind.

"Well, it just you and me, kiddo," I said as Tyler looked me into my eyes. "Uncle Peeta would here but he's on his date with Katniss. And you know what? I hope that in the near future, you'll be calling her Aunt Katniss one day. And oh, you'll have Aunt Prim too.' I sighed thinking about the future. It felt unreal and distant but possible. "And also, you're getting a cousin from Uncle Rye and Aunt Delly. I'm really sorry that your dad and mom are not here, everyone of us will take care and protect you as best we can."

I leaned back on the couch and sighed. There was so much uncertainty in my life but one thing I was sure of––I would die before I'd let anything happen to my family.

It dawned on me that I haven't missed Evelyn. My wife of twenty something years and I haven't given her any thought. I was too busy mourning the loss of my son and my fear and worry over Peeta and Rye's safety. She didn't enter my mind not for a single moment. For the umpteenth time I wondered when did I fail her as a husband?

I shook my head and cleared my thoughts. I had better things to worry about. This wasn't how I thought my life would end up––divorced, grieving for my eldest son and becoming a grandfather again. I had a lot to be thankful for but Graham's absence made me hyper sensitive with the well fare of both Rye and Peeta. I placed Tyler back into his crib after a night of chasing after him. At ten months he crawled and touched everything he could get his hands on. His energy was endless. I couldn't remember being this tired with any of the boys, but then again I had Evelyn with me to split the responsibilities as a parent and my day job.

Just as I had settled Tyler to bed, someone was banging on the front door. "Jimmy, open up." The voice filtered into the air. It was Garrett. His voice was mixed with fear and desperation. I ran downstairs as quickly as I could fearing the worst. 'Did something happed to Peeta?' was my first thought that echoed in my mind. 'Was he hurt or worse…dead?'

I pried the door open so hard it collided against the wall making a dent. "What's going on?" I asked as I noticed Wayne beside him.

"It's Peeta. Do you know where he took Katniss on their date?" he asked.

"No he didn't say, why? All I know is that he packed a basket for their date, but he didn't say where he was taking her."

"We have to find them both now," Garrett said his voice shook with fear.

"What's going on, god damnit someone tell me what's going on," I cried out in anger.

"I'll explain on the way, let's just go and look for them," he returned. I took a step but then remembered that Tyler was alone if I left the house.

"I can't leave," I said my head hurt with fear and anxiety. "Tyler is upstairs asleep. I can't leave him alone."

"Jimmy, you and Garrett go and find Peeta and Katniss," Wayne suggested. "I'll join you later. You know your son better than anyone as to where he would take Katniss on their date. I'll call Rye and Delly to come over. I'll join you once they get here." He ran inside and headed upstairs to call Rye.

"Wayne, call Haymitch too," I said.

"He's already looking as well," Garrett returned. "I called him at Wayne's place before coming here."

With my heart in throat, I ran out into dark night hoping that Peeta and Katniss were all right and safe. "Now for God's sake tell me what's going on or I'll swear––" My feet felt like lead and legs ached. My mind created scenarios that went from bad to worse.

"Just tell me, where do you think Peeta took Katniss and I'll explain along the way," he interjected. "Listen, Wayne and I looked everywhere without alerting the peacekeepers that are patrolling for the night."

"Where did you look?" I inquired. I didn't want look where they had already searched.

"The school, the park and at Remy's. Just fuckin' tell me where do you think they are?" he gritted his teeth as he spoke. It was a sign he was losing patience and control of his emotions. For as long as I've known Garrett, he was level headed, calm and patient. He didn't lose patience or control easily or quickly. Now he knew what it felt like to worry over your child who may be in danger. "Just please trust me." I scoffed then took a deep breath and thought where Peeta could have taken Katniss on his date. I just prayed they were there.

"I think I might know," I started. "Follow me." I ran off to the direct of the field where I spotted Peeta picking flowers the first time.

---

Peeta POV ––

"What do you want?" I asked him my voice shook my body trembled not from the cold air.

"You, Peeta," he said. "I want you."

I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. Just when things were falling into place his appearance not only startled me but angered me as well. I just experienced the perfect date with Katniss, her kisses lingered on my lips and body hummed with desire. I never felt this light and care-free in my entire life like I could endure anything as long as she was by my side. 'Fuck you, MockingJay,' my mind screamed. 'Fuck you, President Snow as well.'

"You want me?" I said in disbelief. "To do what? Parade me like Snow did when I was in the Capitol? To do more videos for you?"

"I want you to join us…me, our cause to––"

"Save your speeches, I heard them all," I returned. I heard enough to know that the rebellion was happening. It was only a matter of time. I just didn't know why he needed me to join him as I was not a fighter or warrior. He should have recruited Gale while he had the chance. My weapon was a rolling pin and a paintbrush; I'm useless in a war.

"Then you know the urgency…importance that I'm facing," he said. "Peeta, we…the rebels have waited a long time to strike against the Capitol and Snow. People everywhere are…suffering and dying and I'm not just talking about the Hunger Games. You...see it everyday the oppression and injustice." I kept quiet. He continued to spout things I already knew because I lived with them everyday. However as he kept going I felt uneasy with his speech like it was unrehearsed and choppy as he was unprepared. I dismissed his lecture as he tried to sway me. My only thoughts was going home and thinking about Katniss.

My date with Katniss lifted the dark shadow that loomed over me. I was happy for once. Now, I felt heavy and dishearten. Why couldn't I have had few days without feeling the world on my shoulders?

No matter how much Haymitch tried to comfort and convince me I knew that Snow will rig the lottery and my name will be called. It was inevitable. I just wanted to enjoy whatever time left with the girl I love. Was it selfish of me to string her along while I knew I was going to die? Yes, but I knew Katniss didn't love me the way I loved her. She would, in time, get over me and move on. She's strong and beautiful. Even though her relationship with Gale soured, it didn't mean that she would never fall in love one day. Yes, I'm selfish and if these were the last days in my life I wanted to die in the arena remembering the time I spent with her. It was enough to last me a lifetime.

"You're the MockingJay. I don't understand what you want from me?" I'm a sixteen year kid who had his first real day with the girl I've been in love with for most of my life.

"I need you to come with me?" I gasped and stepped back. A cold chill ran up my spine.

"Why?" I asked confounded and confused.

"You are needed. You don't realize your importance," he informed me. "Since the broadcast of your 'ordeal' you have become a symbol of strength and defiance against the Capitol."

"I don't want to be a symbol," I returned with anger. I never asked to be anything else but me. "I just want to be left alone. I want me and my family to be left alone."

"Well, you can't always get what you want," he said as he took a step towards me. He grabbed my arm but I was quick to dislodge him.

"No, I know who you are but that doesn't mean you can't make me go anywhere with you," I said.

"Mellark, don't be difficult."

"Difficult? I'm difficult? Why shouldn't I be? I'm in danger because of you," I reminded him. Since the video my life had never been the same. And he just expected me to follow him. Instead of feeling safe I felt scared, anger, lost and anxious.

"I'm going home," I told him. He took a step blocking my path.

"Listen, this will go easy on you if you just come with me willingly." I shook my head.

"I don't want to talk to you without my dad or Haymitch around," I insisted. "You can't make me go with you anywhere." He sighed.

"Stop hiding behind people and just come with me," he said in an irritated manner.

"Excuse me?"

"I just want to talk to you man to man," he reasoned. He sounded like my wrestling coach but there was a big difference––he wasn't the leader of rebellion and I wasn't afraid of him. He was scaring me.

"And I if I don't?" I dared him. I was scared out of my wits. Here I was alone with the MockingJay––a man I admired and feared. He pulled out gun from his waist. My eyes grew wide in shock. "I have a mission. You are needed––"

"No," I pressed further making my stand. "I'm not going with you anywhere. You're going to have to shoot me because I'm leaving."

He started to lecture me again and I wasn't having it so I tuned him out. I made an attempt to pass him when I felt a sting on my torso. It was painful as it lodged onto my scar. On my chest was a dart or pin. I had only a few seconds of consciousness as I recalled being lifted onto his broad shoulders. In the back of my mind I heard voices, someone screaming my name. "Peeta?"

"Stop, let him go right now," the voice ordered. "Put him down." Then the world turned black.

The next thing I knew I opened my eyes and squinted as light blinded me for a few seconds. "Mom, he's waking up," a voice said penetrating my haze and confusion. I took several deep breaths and opened my eyes again to be greeted by gray ones. It was Katniss, her brows furrowed and lips trembled. "Peeta?"

"Don't crowd him, Katniss," her mother instructed her. "Give him some space."

"Katniss?" I said my voice hoarse. My throat was parched and dry and my tongue like sand paper. I touched my torso as I remembered the dart. There was a circular bruise on top of my scar. Great I was drugged, again! 'Hell, where am I?'

"How are you feeling, honey?" 'Honey?' She called me honey as she palmed her hand on my face. She was warm and soft. I relished the touch of her skin as her thumb grazed my cheek. I was barely conscious as my mind tried to focus and look at my surroundings.

"What happened?" I looked around and discovered I was lying on a couch inside the Everdeen home. Dad, Haymitch and Mr. Everdeen stood behind Katniss as she knelt before me. I tried to sit up but fell back as bile rose from my throat. I felt nauseous and my head ached. The warmth of Katniss' hand on my head soothed me.

"Peeta, lie back," she said her voice soft and low.

"What do you remember?" Dad asked as he knelt down beside Katniss. He ruffled my hair. My mind went blank for a few seconds. "I was on a date with Katniss." She smiled. "I walked her home afterwards…then…" I blinked my eyes a few times. I remembered our kisses. I smiled at the memory then winced as recalled meeting the MockingJay.

"What else do you remember?" Mr. Everdeen said. He looked amused as his eyes bounced between Katniss and me. I blushed when I remembered the kisses that Katniss and I shared.

"I saw…MockingJay. I was walking home when he approached me." Dad looked up at Mr. Everdeen and Haymitch a look of concern on their faces.

"What did he say to you?" Haymitch inquired. I thought for a few seconds searching or trying to recall what happened. I thought I dreamt it all but by the look on their faces confirmed that it wasn't a dream.

"He said…that he wanted me," I answered. Katniss gasped a hand covering her mouth.

"Were those his exact words?" Mr. Everdeen asked.

"Yes, he said he wanted me to go with him. I didn't know where because it didn't matter to me because I told him wasn't going anywhere with him."

"This is important, Peeta," Haymitch stated. "I want you to describe him, whatever detail you can remember." I nodded my head.

"He was wearing black. I mean, it was dark but he was wearing black clothes and a hood covering his face."

"What else?" Haymitch prodded. "What else do you remember? Any small detail is significant not matter how small."

"Well, when I first saw him I thought that…"

"What?" he said.

"I thought he was kinda skinny. Too skinny not like I saw him in the video. And…I don't know he…but he sort of reminded me of someone."

"What do you mean?"

"I can't explain it." I slowly sat up and winced as the move made me dizzy.

"Okay, gentlemen," Mrs. Everdeen interrupted. "That's enough for now. Give Peeta some space." She sat down next to me as Katniss followed suit and held my hand. I didn't realize that Prim was also in the room as well. "You're going to feel a bit dizzy and unstable but otherwise, you're not hurt." I winced as I rolled my shoulders.

"Mom, the MockingJay was carrying him on his shoulder then dropped him on the ground," Katniss told her. "I think he landed on his head." She was angry as she spoke. Her mom searched for any bruise on my head. I flinched.

"Oh dear, you have a bruise the size of an egg right here," she observed. "Do you have headache? Do you feel nauseous?" I shook my head.

"No just a bit light headed," I answered back.

"Maybe I should keep him home," Dad suggested.

"No," I uttered. "I already missed so much, dad. I can't afford to miss anymore of my classes."

"Peeta!"

"Dad, please." He nodded his head.

"You'll miss first period," he said. "You need to go home, shower and change." I relented. It wasn't worth arguing with him as I still felt dizzy and I did need to shower and change my clothes.

"Girls, it's almost time for you to go to school," Mrs. Everdeen announced.

Katniss interjected. "What about Peeta? If he's missing first period I'm not going."

"Yes, you are," she quipped back. "You have no excuse to miss your first class."

"But––"

"You're going to school, no argument, Katniss," her mother asserted. "You'll see Peeta later." I turned my head. Katniss' head was down her eyes downcast. Suddenly she raised her head and her arms wrapped around me tight. I felt her small breasts pressed onto my chest. "I'm so glad you're okay," she whispered into my ear. Before she released me she kissed my cheek. "See you at school."

"See at school," I repeated.

"Aw, how cute," Prim gushed. Katniss scowled while her mom smiled.

Reluctantly I let her go and watched as she and Prim left the house. I leaned back as my head rested on the couch. The feeling of queasiness and dizziness subsided. "What happened, Dad?" I asked. "Why…what does the MockingJay want with me?"

Dad looked uneasy and angry. Haymitch sat down beside me. "I don't know if you know anything about the rebellion so…I guess I should tell since the MockingJay has made an appearance and introduced himself to you." He paused. "Your dad, Mr. Everdeen and I have been…we've been involved with a group of people who have been actively trying to usurp Snow and remove him as the President of Panem for…decades. We've been involved long before you guys were born." I looked at for confirmation.

"Did…did mom know?" I asked. He shook his head.

"Listen, Peeta," Haymitch started. "For a long time we've been waiting for the right moment, waiting for a spark that will help ignite and inspire the citizens of Panem to rise against Snow and the Capitol."

"I know that, Haymitch," I interrupted. "I hear the rumors and whispers that's been going around for as long as I can remember." I remembered a heated discussion between Graham and dad. It was the day I knew that the rebellion was alive and well.

---

Flashback ––

"Dad, I want to do something," Graham said. A day ago a young Seam man was punished for his remarks against Snow and the Capitol. Albeit he was drunk but he managed to incite a riot and disorder. Even in a drunken state Cray punished him for speaking against Snow. The Seam man also fought with the peacekeeper who was trying to restrain him, His punishment? Cray took him to the Justice Building charged him with treason against the Capitol and for assaulting a peacekeeper. He was quickly transported onto the next train and the rumor was that he was turned into an Avox.

"What do you suggest you do?" he argued. "You don't have any training or experience fighting."

"I can learn––I heard that there's a group in District 7 that are hiding in the woods training anyone who wants to join the rebellion."

"Does Sonja know about your feelings and decision?" Graham was quiet.

"No, I haven't said anything."

"How can you make a decision like that without her? She's your wife," he asked his voice low. "You've only been married a year and you want to what…join a rebellion? What are you going to do? Drag Sonja and Tyler with you? What am I supposed to tell the Peacekeepers when they find out you're missing?"

"I just feel helpless," Graham returned with a tone of exasperation and frustration. "I want to help. Rye survived the lottery last year but Peeta…he has two more years before he passes his reaping age. What if…?"

"There is no guarantee that anything will be done to prevent the lottery, Graham." Dad sighed. "Even if there is a way, the lottery will continue." I wondered where mom was as she was clearly not at the house. I wondered if she too was of Graham's decision. "You just can up and leave without thinking of the consequences. Hell, the rebellion could take weeks, months or even years. Are you ready to put Sonja and Tyler through that?"

"I'm sorry, Dad. I'm scared for Peeta. We've been lucky so far, but…"

"Don't borrow trouble, Graham. You can't start thinking like that. I know you want to help but now is not the time. Meanwhile, enjoy being married and think about your future with Sonja. Listen, I understand…you're young and what to do something, but really think about what you're asking yourself, what your asking from Sonja and everyone in our family. The decision you make affects us all."

"But you're…you've been involved for sometime, dad," I gasped. "You got involved without…" Graham paused. "You got involved without mom knowing…she doesn't know about your involvement after all this time." It made wonder how long and who was involved.

"My…my situation with your mother is different," dad said his voice tinged with sadness. "Our relationship isn't the same as you and your wife." That night the revelation changed my life in some degree. I told myself that I would try to get to know Katniss before the next reaping. Little did I realize that the next weeks that followed changed my life forever.

End of Flashback ––

---

It was really amazing how my dad was totally clueless that I knew his involvement with the rebellion. The card game night, please? Dad didn't know how to play poker or had a poker face to save his life. So I let him blissfully continue with his ruse.

"We've been in contact with the MockingJay," Haymitch announced. The news shocked me. I knew dad was involved but the fact he had personal contact with group leader was beyond astounding. "Things have been intense for the past few months. Because of the video broadcast…we've been able to recruit more people to join our cause." One brow furrowed. It was good news and all; I didn't understand what it had to do with me and MockingJay trying to kidnap me.

"It's because of you, Peeta and Katniss," Dad explained. "You're the spark."

"Spark? Fuck spark, what the hell does that mean?" I cried out in confusion.

"Peeta, watch your language," Dad berated.

"Fuck, I don't care. You talk about spark," I continued. "We are not a fucking spark. I didn't do anything but end up in video for all the world to see. It was humiliating and…neither did Katniss deserve this." My breath was harsh and choppy. "I…all…al…all I…k..know." My stutter returned. I was stressed, furious and exhausted mentally and physically. I felt as if someone stabbed me in the chest. "I almost…dd…died when C…Cray whipped me."

"Stop Peeta, take a deep breath and slow down," Mrs. Everdeen instructed. I bent over and cradled my head between my hands as I closed my eyes. "I told you to wait and let him adjust."

"We don't a lot of time," Mr. Everdeen stated. "He was almost abducted, Lily. He has to know the danger he's in." I pulled back and laughed. 'I'm in danger?' What else was new?

"Peeta?" Dad looked at me in concern. "I know it's a lot to take in." I shook my head. I laughed for a while that tears appeared in eyes.

"I'm n…nn..not totally oo…obliv..ious or stupid, dad," I sneered. "Fuck! I know you are involved. I've known fo…for a while." Dad gasped in shock.

"Why didn't you say anything?" he asked. I shrugged my shoulders.

"I told you, Jimmy," Haymitch said. "I told you he'd figured it out." I took several deep breaths to calm my nerves. My heart beat against my chest so hard I heard it ringing in my ears. 'Think of Katniss. Think of the kisses, her lips soft, plump and wet.'

"Peeta, do you feel sick?" Dad asked.

"James, leave him be. Let him relax," she said. "Don't push."

I thought of Katniss with her long black hair in a braid, eyes gray like steel. I thought of the dimples on her cheeks when she smiled which was rare. The twinkle in her eyes. Her soft skin and her plump lips.

"That's good, Peeta," Mrs. Everdeen comforted me. "Take a deep breath and clear your mind. Relax."

The room was quiet and everyone stood still waiting for me to recover. "What does this have to do with the MockingJay drugging me?" I felt for my upper arm and remembered that I had a tracking devise lodge in my arm.

"We're not sure but…" Haymitch's voice trailed off. "I think he was trying to recruit you."

"No shit, Haymitch." I snorted back. I felt the sting on my chest.

"Peeta?" Dad scolded me. "Have some respect––" I was angry and scared, I wanted to laugh, cry and rage against the world at the same time.

"It's alright Jimmy. I don't blame Peeta for being angry." He watched me rubbed my arm for a few seconds. I realized that the voice I heard was Katniss and him.

"What happened Haymitch?" I asked him. "I remember hearing your voice and Katniss' before I passed out."

He reached into his pocket. In the middle of the palm was the devise he used to look for bugs and Capitol technology. "I guess Snow did you favor." I nodded my head. "If he hadn't who knows where you would be by now." Who would have thought that Snow saved me from the MockingJay.

Dad said his voice hard. "Haymitch, Garrett, Peeta is not safe anywhere. How can we protect him when both sides are after him now?"

"I'm not sure we should discuss––" Mr. Everdeen interrupted.

"He has the right to know after this last incident," Dad bellowed. "He's not even safe from…from him let alone Snow." They spoke in riddles, not making any sense to me. I thought the MockingJay was our friend but with the tone in my father's voice, he implied that the MockingJay wasn't someone to be trusted. This whole conversation confused me. I stood up to get away from everyone. I wanted to be left alone. The movement made me dizzy that I almost toppled back to the couch. Mrs. Everdeen grabbed my arm.

"Peeta, sit back down," she instructed me. "You haven't eaten breakfast and you're probably dehydrated." I nodded my head and sat back down. I took several deep breaths to calm my nerves. My heart rate slowed but I felt weak and tired.

A moment later I drank a glass of water nonstop until I emptied it without taking a break. "Garrett, Peeta needs to rest. He has to be in school in an hour. Whatever you need to talk to him about will have to wait."

"So what do we do in the meantime?" Dad asked. "He…he can show up anywhere and try to take Peeta again?"

"Well, it's obvious that he can't walk around alone. He…he needs a bodyguard," Mr. Everdeen stated.

"Hello, stop talking as if I'm not here," I said as they continued to talk over me.

"At least we'll know wherever he goes with the tracking device in his arm. He has to have someone with him at all times," Haymitch added.

I shook my head. "No, no. You can't be serious?"

"Peeta," Dad started. Suddenly my life was not my own. I had enemies on both camps. "We're taking precautions for your safety." I had enough. This was one of the reasons why I debated and stayed away from any talk of the rebellion and the rebels. Snow could get to me anytime. I almost bit my tongue off the last time he drugged and at that time I knew a little. I would have endangered dad, but now Haymitch and Mr. Everdeen revealed their involvement as well. I stood up on wobbly legs and ran out of the Everdeen home.

"Peeta!" Dad and Haymitch's voice trailed behind me as I ran home. The sun beat on my head and the wind cooled my face. I had to get out of there. Once home I ran upstairs and locked myself in the bathroom. It was the only room that had a lock. My mom insisted that there shouldn't be any locked doors in our home because it would mean we had secrets to hide from her. She invaded our privacy any chance she got.

I stripped off my clothes realizing they were same clothes I wore on my date with Katniss. I could hear Dad behind the door calling out to me. "Peeta? Please talk to me," he said.

I ignored him. I wanted to be left alone. The water from the shower was warm and cleansing. I closed my eyes and remembered my time with Katniss––the time we spent together at the abandoned house. I concentrated on her plump lips and soft skin as she lay below me. My hand automatically wrapped around my erect cock. I fantasized our first time together…slow and desperate trying to… "Fuck!" I lost focus and time because I jumped when the water temperature changed from warm to cold bringing me back to reality. "Fuck," I repeated between clenched teeth. I felt ashamed and guilty causing hard-on to wane.

Twenty minutes later, my hair was still wet and the ache in my cock lingered. How was I to meet Katniss in school with… "Peeta?" my dad's voice interrupted my thoughts. "At least have something to eat before you head out."

"I'm not hungry," I said.

"Peeta––" He reached out to me.

"I said I'm not hungry. Just leave me alone, damnit," I yelled. He jumped back. I never yelled or cursed at him before. I even surprised myself but I was too angry to care.

"I'll be late for my next class, dad," I informed him as I was about to run past him. He laid a hand on my shoulder.

"Okay," he acknowledged with a tone of defeat and resignation. "I made you lunch." I grabbed the brown bag and exited the shop and ran straight to school without a backwards glance. During break I was nervous and anxious. I felt as though I was being watched.

"Peeta?" Katniss approached me. "Are you okay?" I turned around. She was a sight for sore eyes, the light in my dark world as she stood a foot away from me. Relieved, I grabbed her hand and led her away from the corridor. Once outside, I led to her tree. Prim, Madge, Delly and Rye greeted us.

"Peeta, Prim told us what happened," Rye started. He hugged me. I was startled at first but returned his embrace. "Did…is it true that the MockingJay tried to kidnap you?" I nodded my head. "Fuck, Peeta. What's going on?"

"I don't know Rye. Just don't say anything to anyone, please," I begged. "If President Snow finds out, I don't know what he might try to do." The more I thought it about the more I got scared for anyone involved in my life.

Delly had tears in her eyes. "Oh, Peeta, what are you going to do?" she asked as she too hugged me.

"There's nothing to do," I returned. "Listen, I know you're all concern but please act normal. Don't say anything to anyone."

"Did he say anything to you before…or did he just try to grab you and force you to go with him?" Madge asked. I related the incident to them. As I spoke and explained what happened, it felt unreal as if it was just a dream. However, the small puncture wound on my upper torso only confirmed the reality of the situation. I winced as I rubbed my hand over my chest where the dart struck me.

"Peeta, are you in pain?" Prim inquired. I shook my head.

"No, it just stings like a bitch," I answered back. "And I have a bruise the size of an orange and a bump on my head."

"The ass hole dropped him on the ground when he was unconscious," Katniss reminded me. It was obvious she was still upset her eyes hard and cold.

"Can I see it?" Delly was about to reach over and pull my shirt open when Katniss grabbed her hand.

"Hey?" she muttered. "Watch it. Hands off." Prim smirked and Madge hid a smile behind her hand.

"Geez, Katniss," Prim muttered. "It wasn't like Delly was going to molest Peeta. He's like a brother to her. Would you have reacted the same way if I did that?" Katniss glared and scowled back at her own sister.

"Prim, you're my sister and I love you. But Peeta is my boyfriend sister or not, no one touches him like that. Not even you." I wanted to hug and kiss her but held back.

"Sheesh, okay. I'll keep my hands off of him too." She paused. "But you know I'm training as a healer like mom, so you need to get over yourself." She snickered back. "I might need to 'touch' him some day." I laughed to myself. It felt good that someone cared about me especially if that someone was Katniss. Before Katniss could argue back the bell rang.

"Saved by the bell," Rye muttered. I grabbed Katniss' hand and walked her back to class. Fortunately we had the same class period together. During the next two classes I could hardly focus and concentrate. My upper body ached and I felt weak from not eating breakfast.

At lunch, I was surprised when both Delly and Rye joined us at lunch as well. They usually ate with their classmates and so their presence surprised me. I didn't have an appetite but forced myself to eat the lunch dad prepared. "Peeta, are you okay?" Katniss asked as she sat beside me. She looked troubled as she bit her lower lip and her forehead furrowed.

"Yeah, I'm tired. It didn't feel like I slept last night," I admitted. "It wasn't a restful sleep."

"Take a short nap before class," she suggested. I was about to lie back when she stopped me.

"No, not like that," she said as she stretched her legs before her. "Lay your head on my lap." Without any hesitation I lay my head on top of legs and sighed. I was too tired to appreciate her gray eyes staring down on me as seconds later I felt her hand on my hair and she rubbed my scalp. I immediately fell asleep.

---

Katniss POV ––

To my relief Peeta laid his head on my lap without an argument. When I first suggested it, I held my breath. He looked worn and tired that my heart ached wondering what I could do to help him. I remembered last night turn of events and thanked God for Haymitch who saved Peeta just in time.

---

Flashback ––

As soon as the door closed, Prim barraged me with questions. "How was your date? Where did you go and what did you do?" I smiled so wide my face hurt. "Oh my God Katniss you look…so happy!"

"Prim, it's not polite to pry into your sister's private matters," Mom reprimanded her.

"We share everything, Mom," she gushed. I giggled. Me, Katniss Everdeen giggled. I was too happy and overjoyed to contradict my mom because it was true, Prim and I shared everything. However, there was a four-year age difference between us. I'm in a relationship that is new to me that even I surprised myself. I never told her my biggest secret of all.

I kept my attraction to Peeta to myself not letting Prim know what he meant to me. I never mentioned the day he saved my life when he threw the bread that one rainy day. I only told her after I started seeing Peeta. Yes, Prim and I shared everything, but this is Peeta. What he and I now have was special to me. Could I tell her everything that I kept in my heart? Shouldn't Peeta be the first to know?

"Come on, Katniss," Prim said as she dragged me into our bedroom. She sat beside me and waited. "Well? Spill?" I smiled. She looked so happy for me.

"It was perfect," I told her. I talked about the moment we arrived at the abandoned house up until the last minutes he took me home––minus the making out that Peeta initiated, the kisses that had me yearning and wanting more than just his lips on mine. I didn't mention the tingling feeling that shot up my spine and down my legs, the ache in my center and how I wanted to feel his bare chest on my naked breasts. I didn't want our kisses to end.

"He asked if he could kiss you?" I nodded my head.

"Awwww, that so sweet and romantic," she sighed.

"So did he….kiss you good night too?" she asked with a big smile on her face. I blushed as speech left me high and dry thinking about his plump lips as he bit, sucked and nipped at my lips. And oh my God, the last kiss we shared when his tongue contacted mine. I nearly died from lust and desire as he angled my head to kiss me deeper. I wanted more.

"Katniss?" I turned my head as heat rose to my face. "Oh my God, Katniss you're turning bright red. It was that good?"

"Better," I answered back. "Better than I imagined." Prim squealed.

"I'm so happy for you." Just as I was about to change for the night someone banged on our door so loud, it shook the foundation of the house.

"Mom, where's dad?" I asked as she was about to open the door.

"He stepped out an hour ago," she explained but didn't go any further. She opened the door to reveal Haymitch standing at our porch with a look of…concern on his face.

"I'm sorry to interrupt your evening but––" He stopped talking once he noticed me standing behind mom.

"Haymitch, what's wrong?" she asked. He rifled his fingers through his thinning hair. Since his association with Peeta, he was dressed accordingly and sober. I didn't understand his connection to the Mellarks but I wasn't about to complain or question it. He had been protecting Peeta ever since the incident with Head Peacekeeper Cray.

"I don't want to…alarm you but how long have you been home?"

"Just a few minutes, maybe 10 minutes, why?" Something in his eyes scared me, a look of desperation and fear.

"Sorry, I…was just looking for him, that's all," he said. "I was hoping he was here so I could talk to him." He was lying through his teeth. I sensed it.

"What's going on Mr. Abernathy?" I asked. I was beginning to panic. Dad was gone and Mr. Abernathy was acting suspicious.

"Nothing, sorry to have disrupted your evening," he returned. "Good night."

Mom closed the door. "Well that was odd even for him," mom stated.

"Mom, where did dad go?" I inquired again.

"I don't know, honey. He was in the shed when he just said he needed to go out for a few minutes and that was half an hour ago."

"Something's wrong, Mom. Mr. Abernathy wouldn't show up on our doorstep asking for Peeta if nothing was wrong," I concluded. I didn't like the feeling that his appearance left me.

"It's probably nothing." Mom shrugged her shoulders. Impatient and anxious, I pried the door open. "Where are you going young lady?"

"I'm going to get answers," I returned and ran out the house as I ignored my mom's pleas to stay home. Morbid thoughts ran through my mind. Mr. Abernathy asked about Peeta. Something happened to him––that was my only conclusion.

Damnit. I just got him back. I prayed to anyone who would listen to me. 'Please let Peeta be okay. Now that I know I love him, you can't take him away from me now.'

I ran as fast as I could that I caught up to Mr. Abernathy. "Shit, Katniss," he blurted in frustration and impatience in his tone. "Go home."

"No, not until you tell me what's wrong," I seethed back in anger and fear. "You're looking for Peeta. Why? Is he in trouble?"

"I don't have time for this," he returned as he walked away from me. I noticed that he held a small black box in his hand waving it side to side as if he was scanning his surroundings.

"What are you doing?"

"Keep your voice down," he muttered between clenched teeth. "I just passed two Peacekeepers patrolling this area."

"Why are you looking for Peeta? He was on his way home the last time I saw him," I informed him. He remained quiet and scanned the area ignoring me.

"Go home and mind you own business."

"Peeta is my business. He's my boyfriend and if he's in trouble––" Then it dawned on me––dad left the house a few minutes ago without an explanation where he was headed and why. It was too much of a coincidence. "Something's happened to Peeta." My heart felt it––he was in trouble.

"Damnit, you're stubborn," he retorted. "If you want to help, just shut the fuck up and help me find him." We walked a few yards away when we spotted a man wearing an all black attire and hood. On his shoulders he was carrying…

"Haymitch!" I cried out.

"Fuck, let's go," he returned. With my heart in my throat I cursed myself for not taking my bow and arrow with me. Someone was kidnapping Peeta. Neither Mr. Abernathy and I had a weapon, but I didn't care. No one was taking Peeta away from me.

"Peeta?" I screamed. The kidnapper turned around.

"Stop, let him go right now," Mr. Abernathy demanded. "Put him down. Whoever the fuck you are, let Peeta go. Put him down now."

"I'm sorry but I can't do that," the man in black responded.

"Well, you're not taking him anywhere, not over my dead body," Haymitch swore. The man in black pulled out a handgun.

"I'll use this if I have to," he threatened.

"There's two of us and one of you," Mr. Abernathy stated. "You go ahead and shoot me. There are two Peacekeepers patrolling his area. All I have to do call out to them and they'll come running. And I guarantee you, MockingJay that they will love to meet you."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Try me," he challenged him. "You kidnapping him, MockingJay." He spit out MockingJay's name with disgust and loathing. MockingJay returned his gun back onto his holster. Then he dropped Peeta on the ground as if he was trash. Peeta landed on the ground hard that I knew he would have bruises on his body, especially his head.

"You motherfucker," I screamed. I was so livid that I walked over to him and hit his face square into his jaw. His head reeled back. I was about to land another hit to his stomach when Haymitch pulled me back wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Leave while you still can," Haymitch ordered him. MockingJay placed a hand on his face which was still hidden behind the mask. "Are you deaf? Fucking leave already. Katniss will tear your arms off so I suggest you run." He ran as suggested and didn't look bac.

"And stay away from Peeta," I screamed. I saw nothing but the image of Peeta falling onto the ground flashing in my head over and over. "Let go of me. He dropped Peeta on purpose to hurt him." I was so angry that… "I want to beat the crap out of him." Weeks of feeling helpless and rage surfaced. I couldn't see straight.

"Katniss, stop. Stop," Mr. Abernathy repeated. "Peeta might be hurt, okay? We have to get him home." His words paralyzed me. 'Peeta hurt, home.'

Hour an hour later my boyfriend lay on the couch inside my house. Mom looked Peeta over. She confirmed what I suspected. Peeta was drugged again. "Thank you, Mr. Abernathy," I said my voice trembled from exhaustion and anxiety.

"I think by now, you can call me Haymitch," he snickered.

"If it wasn't for you," I gulped a ball of saliva that was lodge in my throat. "He would have…he almost…" Tears brimmed my eyes. "I don't understand. Why…what does the MockingJay want from Peeta that he would…forcibly…that he would drug and kidnap him?" I was too busy looking at Peeta as he slept that I didn't notice the look that transpired between Haymitch, Dad and Mr. Mellark.

"I don't what to tell you, Katniss," he replied back. "I can't for the life of me figure out what's going on myself." His answer was not reassuring.

End of Flashback ––

---

Even after my mom's insistence that I go bed, I reluctantly left Peeta's side. I tossed and turned as I worried over him because sleep was the last thing on my mind. So an hour later, I crept back to watch over him as he continued to sleep on the couch. While I slept beside him I had nightmares of the MockingJay successfully kidnapping Peeta and feeling that I had lost him forever. Nope, no one was going to take him away from me.

At present, I continued to play with Peeta's curly locks as I stared into his face. I missed his long curly hair. I cursed at Snow for messing with perfection. While I watched him sleep, I took catalogue of his ashen blond eyelashes, the freckles on the tipoff his nose and the little brown mole above his upper lip. I ignored the snickers and comments around me. I was too relieved to care or make any comment. I almost lost him last night and nothing mattered.

"Shut up Rye," Delly snickered. "And if you know what's good for you, you'll stop teasing Katniss." She glared at him while she stuffed her face with her fourth cupcake that Rye packed for their lunch. For a small girl, she ate like there was no end to her appetite. Then I had to remind myself that was after all pregnant.

"Yes, dear,' Rye mocked back.

"Yeah, leave my sister alone Rye," Prim stated. "I think it's sweet."

Nothing could dissuade me from giving him comfort and love––feelings I knew that he was deprived of. Now that he was officially my boyfriend I felt a sense of ownership and possessiveness I never felt before. 'Well, it didn't help that someone tried to kidnap him,' my mind screamed. So I rationalized my behavior each time some girl flirted, talked or tried to touch to Peeta. He was mine to protect.

For example, while working at the bakery, I was acutely aware of the customers that visited the bakery as of late. Many of our classmates 'stopped' by for a loaf of bread, girls that I never knew or recognized came by. Rye and Delly were mostly amused at the attention. Jimmy was pleased that business was doing well. They were all pissing me off. As for Peeta, he was as usual oblivious. It was a good thing that he worked in the kitchen because I swear if another one of our classmates asked about him… was I ready to wipe that smarmy and smug look on their faces thinking they still had a chance with him because it seemed I was just a distraction or curiosity. Now that his mother no longer controlled his life, Peeta didn't have the sense to chose his own girlfriend. In other words, he was slumming.

Because of Peeta's new popularity and notoriety, not only did garnered attention in District 12, he gained popularity everywhere. "Rye, I noticed that there are two mail bags in the living room," I pondered. There were stacks of mail sitting on the kitchen table as well.

"Oh, those are for Peeta,' he said nonchalantly.

"What? What are they?"

"Oh, fan mail," he supplied. "Peeta's been getting them since he came back from the Capitol." I was taken aback. Fan mail? My Peeta was receiving fan mail from…

"When did he…have you read any of them?" I loathed to ask but was curious. Rye looked at me like he debating whether he should answer me.

"Rye, I'm hungry," Delly announced before he could answer me.

"Um…I think you better ask Peeta," he said. "Anyway, gotta take my pregnant wife home."

However, I didn't get a chance to ask as Prim and I walked back home. But before we departed, Peeta took me aside. "Meet me at our spot after dinner," he said. 'Our spot?'

After completing my homework and ate dinner, I confided in Prim. "Prim, I need to ask you a favor," I said to her.

"What is it?" she asked.

"I need to sneak out of the house––"

"What? What for?"

"I'm going to meet Peeta––"

"Yes, of course go ahead and I'll cover for you," she interrupted in an excited manner. "Oh my God, Katniss. This is crazy." I laughed to myself. I would never have thought that I would be sneaking out of the house to meet a boy––my boyfriend for that matter. I was so scared for Peeta that any chance I have time alone with him was worth it. Even if it meant breaking curfew to meet him.

Soon I found myself at 'our spot'––the abandoned house where we had our first official date. Peeta stood by the door leaning on the entrance with his hands in his pockets staring into the sky. It was a full moon so I could easily spot him.

"Peeta," I cried out as I ran to him. He ran towards me as well. I cried in relief as he wrapped his strong lean arms around me.

"You made it," he said with a tinge of surprise and relief in his voice.

"Of course I did," I said in return. How could he doubt it?

"Come on," he said as he grabbed my hand. "We're exposed. We need to go someplace where there are no peacekeepers patrolling." Surprisingly he led me to the cemetery. It was dark and creepy but…

"How do you know Peacekeepers don't patrol out here?" I asked as we situated ourselves under a tall tree. It was perfect hiding place. I shuddered as I tried not to notice the gravestone everywhere. Peeta placed an arm around my shoulder. His warmth and nearness comforted me. I felt at peace for once surrounded by dead bodies. It was ironic.

"Would you?" He shrugged his shoulders. "Anyway, I've been coming here before all the shit that's been happening to me."

"Why?"

"It's peaceful and I find being here calms me. I look at the grave stones and it helps me put things in perspective," he exclaimed.

"Well I think it's kinda morbid and creepy," I admitted.

"Yeah I can see that," he agreed and laughed. "For me, I look at these people. Some I knew and loved. I feel a connection somehow.

"I'm sorry Peeta. I know you miss your brother, Graham." I was being insensitive and I felt guilty.

"No, it is creepy hanging out here. It's just for me…I look at the people who are buried here. People I don't know, people who died even before I was born," he continued. "There's a section here that's been designated for our dead tributes. I look at them sometimes and wondered if I'm…"

"Peeta, that's…that's not healthy," I scolded him. "You can't think like that."

"I have two more years, Katniss." The thought paralyzed me. I couldn't fathom Peeta being reaped or dead.

"Peeta, please don't talk like that," I cried out. "You're scaring me."

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to be morbid. I'm being realistic." I grabbed his other hand as I laid my head on the crook his neck. He was warm and comforting. I wanted to bottle this feeling forever.

"How are you feeling, Peeta, really?" I asked. We hadn't talked about his ordeal with the MockingJay. I wanted him to feel and know that he could talk to me about anything.

"I'm so tired, Katniss," he confessed. "Sometimes, I feel like I want to give up. My family lost so much…there so much pain. I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel and…"

"What?" he was scaring me with his admission. He couldn't give up now.

"It's so tiring, worrying about my dad and Rye. And now there's Tyler and Delly to worry over. I just remembered that I'm going to be an uncle in a few months. There' s o many people to worry over. There's this weight on my chest…like I'm carrying a load I bear alone."

"But you have me now. Don't forget that," I reminded him. "You can talk tot me. I know that I didn't handle our first…hurdle. And you lost your trust and faith in me but I swear to you, I'll do my best not to run." I couldn't 100% promise that I would get scared and run. I've been running all my life. Every time I was forced to confront my emotions or feelings I ran.

"Katniss," he sighed his facial expression sad and resigned. "I don't expect our relationship to not have its' problems. I know you're sorry and all is forgiven."

I was grateful for his forgiving nature. "But?" I didn't like the tone of uncertainty and doubt in his voice. It made me doubt myself as well. I didn't doubt that I love him but that I doubted that I deserved him.

"There is no but…just I hate feeling like another shoe is going to drop, you know," he admitted. "Another surprise that would endanger you and everyone I care about. I hate feeling scared all the time."

"My dad once said that a life lived in fear is a life half lived," I quoted. "I never understood what he meant until now. We can't live or go on in our lives living in fear. I've been scared for most of my life, Peeta. Scared that my family won't have enough to eat, scared of being reaped. I'm scared for Prim. This feeling of fear eats away at you that other feelings fill in the holes it left behind. I was scared all the time that in order for me to go on I learned to hate, resent people and I became bitter and jaded."

I stopped and took a deep breath. Peeta kissed my forehead for comfort as if he knew I needed it.

"I'm not scared for me, Katniss. I scared for the people I love because of me," he said. I noticed that tears brimmed his eyes. He sniffed and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. I hated seeing him like this, feeling lost, hopeless and alone. "Sometimes, I think that it would be better for everyone if I…"

"Peeta, don't you dare think like that,' I said in anger and fear. "You have so many people who care and love you." 'I love you.' "Only a coward would think…like that and I know you, you are not a coward."

"I'm tired of being scared all the time."

"Then let's be scared together," I suggested. "Listen, before you I was scared and I was alone. I was scared to feel things that I avoided any human connection beside my family." I poked him in the chest right above his heart. "You changed me. I like who I am now and it's because of you."

"I didn't do anything, Katniss," he smirked. "I think that you do yourself a disservice by not taking credit for being already wonderful and amazing––"

"I'm not––"

"Quiet," he said as he placed a finger on lips.

"But––"

"It's my turn. You know for someone who claims she's not good with words, you were pretty eloquent a few seconds ago."

"I told you, you changed me, why––" I said. I was rudely interrupted when his soft lips pressed onto mine. I sighed into his mouth. 'Oh, I missed this,' my mind whispered. I groaned as his tongue invaded my mouth. Flustered I continued to kiss him as I clumsily straddled his legs. I was new to this world of romance and seduction. Oh god, he tasted tangy and sweet. I could kiss him forever.

A few seconds later, I needed to breath. I moaned in disappointment as his lips left mine. My heart raced and I could hardly breath our foreheads were pressed together. I lost my train of thought. "What were you saying?"

"You're so…wonderful," he whispered his soft breath grazed my heated skin. I felt his beating heart on my chest. I swore that his heartbeat raced in cadence with mine own.

"If you say so," I argued back. I didn't want to argue with him. Preferably I hoped he would kiss me again.

"I know so." I turned my head. "Hey, look at me. I wouldn't….couldn't be with anyone who wasn't amazing or special. I've never asked for much in my life, Katniss. There's so little joy in this world that I accepted what had been handed to me." I thought of his mother who abused him for most of his life. He didn't deserve it. Not with a heart so kind and gentle as his. "So when I say you're amazing, you are to…me." I returned his compliment with a hug. The need to hold him was strong as if I needed to brand him onto my skin to remain connected to him in an emotional level whenever we were apart.

"You're the one I want, Katniss," he said as he lips grazed my ear. "You…you are special to me." I melted down to my arms and legs. I felt hot and cold all over. And then he kissed me chaste at first then demanding as Peeta opened his mouth and gently probed my lips open with his tongue. 'Was this hygienic sharing saliva?' Fuck it, this felt too good to be wrong and unsanitary. I bit his tongue causing him to moan in response. For a few minutes we shared the intimacy I had long denied myself. We traded kiss for kiss not wanting it to end. Images of the MockingJay kidnapping Peeta flashed in my head. I bitterly shook them off not wanting to spoil this moment.

This is what I was afraid of––feeling this emotional attachment and connection to someone. Falling and being in love wasn't all hearts and roses. It was also painful and messy. What it means to love someone so much that it's scares me, but fear of losing Peeta scared me more. He changed me in ways I never anticipated or wanted. I have more to lose now. This revelation only solidified my resolve to keep him safe from harm and no one, not even the MockingJay was going hurt him or take him away from me.

So in the meantime, I would enjoy the dates and kisses between us because who knew what the future may bring and I wasn't about to take my time with Peeta for granted.

---

AN: Thank you for reading this chapter and for staying with me in this journey. My sincere apologies for posting a lot later than I hoped. RL took over and writing took a backseat, but now I'm back. Your support and your patience are greatly appreciated. Please leave review at your leisure. Have a great week.