Unforgiving

"Can I come in…?" She's the first to break the silence, not to mention the tension... because she can literally feel his anger rolling off of him in waves, and for the first time ever she feels on edge around him.

"I suppose you must…" He replies coolly, as he walks further into the living room. She gingerly follows behind him…

"Why are you here, it's been two years Olivia, why come back now?" He notes her visibly flinch at his abruptness; if she's hoping for niceties she has another thing coming, he thinks venomously.

As she clearly struggles to find the right words, he finds himself taking a long hard look at her… She doesn't look anything like how he imagined her to look; refreshed, like she's been away enjoying herself all this time, but instead she looks the polar opposite, almost withdrawn. She's lost loads of weight, her collar bone jutting out, revealing the true extent of her weight loss… and her eyes that once seemed to sparkle bright are now overshadowed with a gloomy darkness which encircling them hauntingly… She looks older too, as if she has aged a great deal since the day she left. Although, he suspects she could probably say the same about him too, after all he's had to endure… Wherever she's been, it's clear to him that the years have not been easy on her… How he actually feels about that, he doesn't quite know, his emotions are all over the place right now; anger, concern, betrayal, hurt and love all wrapped up into one, all fighting to take control of this impromptu meeting with her…

"I know there's a lot that I need to explain…"

"Too right you do!" He interjects.

Anger it is then- "Maybe you'd like to explain why you left your baby and husband without so much as a note detailing why, or maybe you'd like to explain where you've been the last two years, as I struggled to bring up our son without him knowing what it's like to have a mother…"

"Please Fitz…"

"Please Fitz, what? Take it easy on you, is that it?"

"Fitz, I'm sorry…"

"Forget it, I don't want your apologies, what I want is for you to rewind the time and stop yourself from walking out… Oh but you can't, can you?!"

"Believe me, if I could I would…" She fighting to keep the tears at bay, but he doesn't care, instead he's relentless with his onslaught, as he continues to lash out…

"Well seeing as you can't, then there's nothing else you can do for me, is there? So I suggest you go back to where you came from and leave me and my son be!"

"He's my son too Fitz…"

"Oh no you don't… Joshua is MY son!" His level of voice begins to rise, as he gets more and more incensed by her gall… "All you are is the woman who gave birth to him; you have no right to call him your son! The day you walked out on him was the very same day you forfeited your right to call yourself his mother…"

"Joshua will always be my son Fitz, I've never stopped loving him, never…" She replies with fierce conviction… "Not a day has passed where he has not been my very first and last thought... Please, I need you to know that when I left, it wasn't because I didn't care or love him Fitz… In fact, I left because I loved him so much; I didn't want to see him get hurt."

"Oh really, so you're telling me that it was love that made you up and leave him…"

"Yes!"

"Wow Olivia, you're even more screwed up than what I had perceived you to be!" He knows it's a low blow, but he can't help it, because all his self-restraint is been used up to prevent himself from physically removing her from this house…

She's crying now… "I really hoped that you'd give me a chance to put things right Fitz, that you'd allow me to explain and maybe try and understand why I did what I did…"

"I'd never begin to understand Olivia, NEVER… Because you see,I stayed, I never gave up like you, even when I had to except the fact that you were gone from our lives." He finds he can no longer hold back the tears himself, as the grief he's had bottled for so long now comes rushing out…"I stayed Olivia, I stayed and continued to love and care for our son, when you didn't, so no, I won't understand and neither do I want to… All I want to know is WHY… Why are you back?"

Honestly. "Because I want him,I need Joshua back in my life…" She pleads to him, but unfortunately for her it falls on extremely deaf and unsympathetic ears…

"Forget it, I'd be damned if you think I'll just let you waltz back into his life, like nothing ever happened… like you never abandoned him… I won't allow it!"

His point blank refusal however, stirs a whole new reaction from her, one of sheer determinacy and a strength, which she seemed to lack just moments before… "Fitz I will be a part of his life, whether you will it, or not... even if it means I'll have to fight you in court…"

He's utterly incensed, "Like any judge in his right mind would allow you to have custody of Joshua over me…"

"Maybe not custody, you're right about that Fitz, but maybe once the court gives me the proper chance to be heard, they might just consider that it's in Joshua's best interest to get to know his mother, and allow me to visit with him, maybe even have him on weekends or holidays even…"

"Over my dead body!"

"Fitz, I've not come back to take him away from you, if that's what you think, because that's not my intention at all, you're his father and he needs you… And to be honest if I had a choice I'd rather not go down the legal route at all, believe me… but I will Fitz, I will if you won't give me a chance…"

He doesn't answer her, so she carries on carefully… "I know this is a lot for you to take in right now, and I don't blame you for being angry with me either, I deserve it and more… And I'm not looking for your forgiveness either, because what I did was unforgivable,I know that… All I want is an opportunity to make this right again…" She puts her hand in her pocket and retrieves a small card; she places it on the table… "I'll be staying here until I can find somewhere more permanent, you might find this hard to believe, but I'm not planning on going anywhere else, I'm staying for good…"

He looks at her in disbelief, as she bravely adds… "I'll give you a couple of days to think things over, my cell number is on the back, if you want to get in touch and I hope you will Fitz, I'll be there waiting…"

He turns his back to her, he's heard enough… "I want you to leave…" he warns, barely keeping a lid on his desire to hurt her, hurt her the way she has, and is still hurting him… Sensibly, knowing she has outstayed her welcome, she takes heed of his warning and leaves without further ado, closing the door behind her, the words goodbye not even daring to pass her lips.

She barely gets to the lift, before she hears the table being thrown over in anger and frustration, splintering in two upon it collision with the front door.