Not before time
It had been two days since she let Fitz know that she was back; two days since she had the first glimpses of her little boy and much to her dismay two whole days with not so much as a word from Fitz. She was beginning to worry. Worried that she'd have no other choice but to take legal action… God knows she does not want to do it this way, just the thought of it was making her feel ill, doubting her abilities to cope with the stresses that family court will bring, but like she told Fitz, it was something she had every intention of seeing through to the end, if he was unwilling to reason with her. She really hoped he would come around, or at the very least give her a chance to explain, but the way he immediately cut her down that day, uninterested and unforgiving, she realised she might not stand a chance. Of course she had not expected him to greet her with open arms either, but his cold indifference was something else, it was clear that any compassion he once felt for her was long gone… He didn't even afford her the opportunity to be in Joshua's presence for more than a minute; considering the way in which he had ordered his parents to quickly remove him from the apartment, or mores the point, as far away from her as possible; the actions of which had left her feeling wounded… In fact, she had spent most of that night and the following day in floods of tears just thinking about it… Knowing Josh was so close by, but being unable to see him, hold him; play with him, it was torture in itself. Since leaving Washington, the longing to be with her son had always been immense and it had not faded over time either, but now that she was back it had somehow intensified a thousand fold and she was finding it harder and harder to deal. At times like these reverting back to her old ways seemed the easiest thing to do, by giving in, giving up and letting her emotions completely consume her… However, in a bid to stop herself from doing just that, she decides to keep herself busy instead, anything to pass the time of day until Fitz eventually calls. And although doubts were already threatening to creep in and overwhelm her, knowing Fitz's character, deep down she still believes that he'll make contact. So staying positive, as well as proactive was the way forward, and therefore she was currently on hold to yet another estate agent, hoping to secure an apartment…
Staying at the motel was all well and good for a few days, but she needed something more permanent and fast, however finding somewhere suitable and financially affordable was proving to be more difficult than she had envisioned.
"Hello mam, unfortunately we have nothing under that price bracket at the moment, but if something does come up, I have your details on the system and will endeavour to get in touch…"
"Oh that's a shame, well, thank you anyway… and yes…please do, please call…" she offers politely, despite the lump building up in her throat, before hanging up the phone on the receiver. That was the eighth estate agent she had spoken to today, she was having no luck… Hope was fading fast, and unbidden tears were filling her eyes once more…
She takes a deep breath. "Everything will work out fine, everything will work out fine" she whispers to herself, almost like a self-professing mantra, anything to block out the feeling of despair that was presently trying to set in.
Eventually pulling herself together, tears wiped away on her sleeve, she decides that fresh air is needed, a change of scenery… something other than the self-wallowing taking place in this room… so she slips on her shoes, puts on a jacket and heads through the door… Only to be met by Fitz on the other side it, resolve face in place and his hand raised, just about to knock the door.
She knew he would come, and with that lingering thought a tiny shred of hope was momentarily restored.