Disclaimer: All stories are individuals of themselves and are unrelated to each other.
He blames himself.
He doesn't know why he blames himself over the death of Mayor Undersee and his wife, he just does.
When the peacekeepers had ushered everyone into their homes and then their trucks started rolling out, Gale knew what was happening. He grabbed as many people as he could, told them to get to the fence line, to stay out of town. He ran past screaming children and families and once he knew his own family was safe started straight for the Everdeen home.
They mayor's house was on the way.
Madge was outside by her fence and it gave Gale pause, her golden hair illuminated in the moonlight. He stopped, if only to catch his breath, and yelled her name. And then he grabbed her and forced her to come with him. It was instinct. And she screamed and writhed against him yelling about her parents her parents and he didn't listen, pulling her along forcefully because he had no fucking idea how long it would be until the bombs fell.
His instincts were right because not even a full minute after he stole Madge away from her home did the first one fall.
The first night on the outskirts of 12 she wakes up in the middle of the night, gasping for air. Gale sits up in a panic at the noise and finds she's caved into herself, heaving for air. He looks around and finds most everyone else asleep.
"Hey," he rasps, reaching for her. She peeks up at him, her eyes full of tears. It hits him square in the chest, the look on her face, and suddenly he's struggling to figure out what to do. It isn't like he and Madge Undersee have ever been friends. But some instinct inside of him is kicking into overdrive and he asks, "Wanna talk about it?"
She sniffles and jerks her head to the side, blinking back her tears. "There's nothing to talk about anymore," she tells him, her voice shaking. Madge sniffles again before looking away. "Go back to sleep."
And because he doesn't know what to do, what to say, he nods and awkwardly looks away. Gale lies back down and curls away from her, trying to drown out the sound of her cries.
He makes sure Madge is on the same hovercraft as him when they arrive from District 13 to cart the survivors to safety. She walks everywhere with her arms crossed over her chest and her eyes squinting as though the light is too bright for her. When the hovercraft lifts over District 12 she doesn't look out the window to see what remains. Neither does he.
Gale keeps his eyes trained on her throughout most of the trip.
She's assigned a unit in the singles dormitory. There was a disease that wiped out a sizable portion of District 13 and many lost their families. Madge will be sleeping among them, as well as some of the survivors from 12.
"You think we could get them to allow her to stay with us?" Gale asks. Hazelle turns to him with her eyebrows raised. "She shouldn't be alone," he mutters, only just realizing how ridiculous his idea must sound to his mother. "Forget it."
He doesn't tell his mother that he makes inquiries about getting Madge Undersee into their unit. It doesn't go through anyway.
"Please stop looking at me like I'm wounded," she says. Gale blinks a few times, surprised that her voice is so sharp. He doesn't think he's heard Madge speak in days. They're sitting on a bench outside of the medial wing, waiting for permission to go in and see Katniss. She turns her head to look at him and he's met with cold blue eyes. "I'm not." He opens his mouth to say something but she jerks her head to the side, still holding his gaze. "Don't. Just stop looking at me like I'm broken."
"I don't," he forces out.
It's a lie. She knows that. When Madge laughs it's empty. "Whatever." She pulls her eyes away and looks toward the ground, shaking her head. "You don't owe me anything, Gale. So stop…" she tries to piece her words together, but it's all mush. "Just, stop."
"I'm not doing anything," Gale mutters. He looks toward the medical wing and wonders if someone is going to come get them soon.
He finds out about her breakdown through Prim one breakfast and sprints to the psychiatric ward. Madge woke up in the middle of the night screaming. Screaming. It was so loud that people in nearby units thought someone was being murdered. She tore at her hair, she refused the assistance of anyone. Madge was shot with a tranquilizer gun and carried away before she could hurt anyone.
Gale tells the woman at the desk Madge's name and she points him in the right direction. He ends up outside of her room with his hands pressed against the glass. They've restrained her, she's thrashing about on her bed with tears streaming down her face. Gale storms into the room and she cries out when she sees him.
"Hey, hey," he looks toward the door to make sure no one's coming and quickly un-dos her restraints. When Madge's arms are free she throws herself at him. At first he panics, but when he feels her wrapping around him he squeezes her back, his hands gently rubbing up and down her spine. "It's okay," he whispers. Madge heaves for air. Her entire body is shaking from her sobs, but he stays with her. Gale doesn't know how long it takes but soon enough her cries die down until she's hiccupping and sniffling, still pressed against him. "You're okay," he tells her, again and again like a mantra.
And then he hears her squeak, "I'm sorry," and his heart shatters.
The guilt returns and weighs him down so heavily that he can't move. He just holds her until the doctors come.
Katniss doesn't understand why he's never more than a few feet from her. She doesn't know of Madge's breakdown because anything that might upset the Mockingjay in her fragile state is completely off limits. And though that would be one way to explain his attachment to Madge, he still doesn't think Katniss would understand.
"She isn't your responsibility," Katniss would say. "You don't have to do this."
But he does. And it's easier to say nothing than to try and explain it.
Gale slips Madge his strawberries when they have them for lunch. It's the first time he's seen her smile in days.
When Katniss finally does get around to asking about it Gale lifts his shoulders, not knowing how to respond.
"I need you, Gale," Katniss says. She grabs his hands and tries to make him understand this. That she needs him or she can't do this, she can't be in 13.
He can't look at her when he says, "So does she." Katniss drops his hands as though they're burning and he clenches his jaw. "I'm sorry." She shakes her head and murmurs something under her breath, something that might sound like it's okay or whatever, but Gale doesn't ask her to elaborate.
Madge ends up in a supply closet and he's in after just a few seconds. "Stop following me," she shouts the second the door opens. "Stop following me!" Her hands slam against his chest and she tries to push him out the door but he's taller and stronger and isn't budging. Gale lets her hammer against him until he can't take the cries clawing up her throat any longer. Gale grabs her wrists and holds them above her head, looking down at her with soft eyes.
She crumbles after that, collapsing against him and sobbing into his shirt.
They settle onto the floor and he pulls her close. Her tears are hot against his skin. "Why?" she croaks. He doesn't know what she's asking. Why are my parents dead? Why did you make me leave them? Why are you here? Why do you care so much? She cries until she can't any longer and he sits with her the entire time.
Vick's the first one to get her to laugh. Gale doesn't remember what he says to her, he's too lost in the sound of Madge's happiness.
She likes to fight with him. He lets her, because at least she's getting upset about something other than her parents. Besides, he likes the fire in her eyes.
He doesn't know when he stops doing it out of obligation. All Gale knows is one day he wakes up and Madge is his first thought. Not her sadness or her tears, but instead the way she says his name. It makes his chest feel tight. After scanning his schedule he marches straight to her quarters. They moved her after her outburst. Still in a singles unit but much closer to his.
She's waiting outside when he gets there. At first Madge would do things on her own, she'd be gone before he could make it, but Gale would chase after her. She became so frustrated at the anger in his tone when he caught up to her ("Why are you walking around by yourself? We don't know these people. Wait for me, for fuck's sake.") that she caved and would wait like he'd asked. She doesn't smile at him and they don't talk as they walk to breakfast.
But when their hands brush Gale lets her warmth consume him.
They're yelling at each other again.
Gale's realized that he lives for it, the way her voice is sharp and cuts him open. It's over something stupid. "I hardly think it's any of your business when I visit Peeta," Madge is saying. Her points are valid. She and Peeta are friends. Peeta needs a friendly face. Gale's presence would only just upset him. "What are you going to do, tie me down so I can't see him?"
"It's not that I don't think you should go," Gale growls. "I just want to be there in case something happens." His points are valid, too. She's still weak, still not eating as much as she should. Peeta's violent. She gets too close to him. "He's not the same person that you knew!"
"I'm not the same person either!" she shouts back, shoving his chest. "I can't believe you stillthink—" another chest shove, "—after all this time—" again, he's almost at the wall, "—that I'm still this little princess!" Gale hits the wall and she leans away, breathing deeply. Her eyes are like embers, glowing, and her hands are shaking with anger.
Before either of them know what's happening he's cupping her cheeks, pressing his lips to hers. And then suddenly Madge is the one against the wall, gripping his shirt to anchor him down instead of pushing him away, and his hands are tangled in her hair desperate to bring her closer. Their kisses become frantic as he gathers her into his arms and presses her against the wall. Her legs wrapping around his hips and her hands scrambling over his chest and up his neck and behind his head.
When they part because both of them are breathless he pins his forehead to hers. "I don't think that," he rasps. Madge cups his cheeks. Her breath is hot against his mouth. "I just don't—" Gale shakes his head. "I couldn't stand it if you got hurt."
Her eyes search his frantically before she stretches forward, kissing him again. And this time it's slow, and sweet, and he savors every second of it.
Her hand fits perfectly in his.
It's how the others begin to figure it out, that they're together. Gale will tangle his fingers with hers when they're walking places, when they're sitting beside one another, when she starts to get upset. Sometimes he'll kiss her knuckles before pulling her close to him. The first time Hazelle catches it she smiles to wide her face nearly splits in half. Gale tries not to roll his eyes.
He pulls her to a stop before they reach her unit.
Madge looks up at him with wide, scared eyes. "What's wrong?" she asks. They move until they're against the wall and he grabs her hands. "Gale, what's wrong?"
"I—" he starts, but stops, not knowing how to broach this subject. "I can't stop thinking about it, Madge." Her scared gaze doesn't relent and he finds himself with a slew of words coming that he can't stop. "If I had let you go back for your parents," he croaks, "then they might be here with you. If I had let you call for them but I just, I pulled you, I made you come with me and—"
"Gale," she cuts him off, shaking her head. "No." Her eyebrows are furrowed together on her forehead. "You think it's your fault?" He looks away, unable to look at her. Madge grips his hands. "Gale, if you had let me go back I wouldn't be here."
"You don't know that."
"Yes I do." He sucks in a sharp breath. "You saved my life," she whispers. Madge reaches forward and grabs his cheek, pulling him until he's looking at her. "You saved my life," she says again, needing him to understand that. She's blinking away tears now. "Is that why… that's why you stayed by me all this time. Because you blamed yourself?" Gale reaches up and lies his hand atop hers, leaning into Madge's grasps. "Gale…"
"That's not, no," he shakes his head. "No. That's not why I stayed with you."
Her voice is quivering alongside her chin, "Then why bring this up all of a sudden?"
They've just come from game night with his family. Mostly they play cards considering there aren't many games in District 13. But seeing Madge laughing with Hazelle and tickling Posy and teasing his brother, Gale kept thinking about her with her own family. How they would've had their own unit. How the mayor of District 12 might've helped out with the rebellion. And the thoughts crept back, how he didn't let her go for them.
Gale doesn't know how to put that into words for her. Madge tilts her head and waits for him to explain but an exasperated sigh escapes him instead.
"I don't blame you," Madge says strongly. He sighs again, moving so his forehead is against hers. "I never did," she adds softly.
"But I blame myself," Gale croaks.
Madge shakes her head and he reaches up to cup her cheeks. "You didn't send the bombs," she whispers. "You did everything you could to get as many people out of 12 as you could. Gale, you saved so many lives." He squeezes his eyes shut and tries to absorb her words. "My parents… they just weren't… on that list."
"I'm so sorry," he rasps, but again she shakes her head. "I am, Madge." Tears are spilling from her eyes and he wipes them away frantically. "I'm so sorry."
"Don't be," she forces out. "Please. Please don't be."
And then they're kissing, because neither of them can say anything that can make them feel okay. But this feeling, his body pressing against hers, settles something in their bones. It's a peace they haven't known. And like this, he thinks, maybe he can learn to breathe again. He hopes that she can, too.