Chapter 43 –– Interlude: Hawthorne's Dilemma
AN: My apologies for the late update. I was going to update last night but needed to do one last edit which you'll probably find mistakes anyway. A quick thank you for those favored, alerted and left a review. They mean a lot to me. Thanks to pistonsfan75, LACR, jroseley, Cassie Sharpie, Nai1987, Mspriss523, J and guest. Your thoughts and comments are always welcome and appreciated. There still a couple of chapters before the actual games––the Tribute dinner up ahead. This chapter contains Gale and Haymitch's POV and is rated R. THG belongs to Suzanne Collins.
Gale POV ––
The alarm clock rang interrupting my fitful sleep. Groggily I sat up from my bunk. I missed my bed back at the Seam. Though there wasn't much privacy since I shared a room with Rory and Vick, it was my home. I felt homesick. My roommate's bed was already empty and neatly made. I sighed in relief. What's his name Nick, Mick or something was up early always gone before I awaken. He slept soundly, snored through the night and awoken early. I envied his enthusiasm, why wouldn't he?
He had every right and cause since he was in training––a quick breakfast and then reported to his group as they trained for the better part of the day before completing chores.
Chores. I snorted. It's been weeks since my arrival and all I'm delegated to do is sweep and clean after each meals. My other duties required laundry and deliveries. Had I known this was how I would contribute to the rebellion, I would have not volunteered. I thought once you volunteered you automatically became a soldier. This was not the case.
Then I remembered Commander Boggs who had denied my request. He had refused and denied my training for insubordination as I insisted or rather demanded that I was useful and was prepared to train as a soldier. I had informed him that my line of work was demeaning and beneath me.
Flashback ––
"I'm a hunter," I bragged. "I've beenhunting and foraging the woods since was 12. I have been the only provider in my family. I'm ready. I am not cut out to be someone's maid service."
"Hunting for the game is not the same as a soldier," Boggs snorted. "You would need weeks of physical training but before that I need to access your strengths and weaknesses and which weapon you are fit to use."
"I'm good with a bow and arrow," I insisted with a smug look on my face. Though Katniss was a better bowman I wasn't that bad myself. When she started to work for the Mellarks I was on my own. I felt abandoned by my best friend. She had been generous in providing bread and treats for my family that I first refused, but reluctantly accepted.
"Gale, your friend Katniss is helping us––"
"I don't need her charity," I spat with fury. Katniss' 'help' was an insult shoved on my face as if couldn't provide my own family.
"The fences have been turned on," Mom reminded me. I cringed. "How are you going to provide for us when you can't even hunt in the woods?" Her hands fisted as they rested on her hips. "Katniss offering us bread is not charity. How are you going to explain to your brothers and sister when I can't place any food on our table? Why should I turn down any food to feed our family? Are you that arrogant and selfish to let your pride and ego get in the way of feeding our family?" I hated our situation but mom was right.
I had to swallow my pride each and every time Katniss and Prim came to our house to drop off bread and treats for my family. Guilt and shame, that was what I felt every time they appeared at my doorstep.
Men and women gathered around us. I needed to show my worth, that I was useful and wanted to be a part of the rebellion. I was bored to tears with all my menial jobs.
People snickered at me. "What?"
"Bow and arrow?" Boggs repeated. He walked towards an artillery rack. There were guns, spears and all sorts of equipment and firearms in the training room. He returned with a sleek bow and arrow unlike the one I used in the woods. Mine was made of wood and filament. This one was metallic and the string was made of some plastic material. The bow was well crafted and durable. And, it was heavier than I anticipated that the bow nearly fell from my grasp. "Show me."
Boggs dared me in front of people around us. Knowing I had something to prove, I took his challenge. He led me to an area with a field of targets 20 yards away. He gave me an arrow. Smiling and giddy I aimed my bow and drew the arrow at a target. I craned my neck and released it. To my dismay, the arrow landed on the furthest outer circle.
People around me laughed. I was embarrassed and angry for Boggs humiliating me in front of a crowd. "This isn't fair," I sputtered as I tried to hold back my anger.
"You said you were good with a bow and arrow," Boggs said in a calm tone.
"I'm…not used to this kind equipment. Mine was not as heavy," I explained. It wasn't an excuse but the truth. I wasn't used to using the heavier bow. This was not a fair test.
"I'll give you that," Boggs said in understanding. He then gave me four more arrows giving me an opportunity to get used to the weight. I sighed in relief. Taking my time, I aimed at the same target. Each arrow landed on the same outer circle. One even missed bounced off the target. The heavier weight made my wrist ache and my arms tired easily.
"I need more time and practice," I insisted. "I want to be trained." Boggs shook his head. "Why not?"
"You have not earned your place here," he said. "See those people over there?" He pointed to a group, training squad M. The group consisted of men and women age range from 20-35 wearing gray training suits with dark boots––Bailey and Douglas were amongst them. In District 13 the common color of the uniforms was gray. They didn't have the luxury of making clothes in different color. Even dying clothes black I was told was difficult to process and produce. It required a lot of energy which we they stored and conserve. Everything from food, energy, and materials were delegated and accounted for. Colored clothing was a luxury and not a necessity.
"They have been in training for months," he stated. "All of us depend on each other whether we out in the battlefield or here in District 13." He removed the bow from my possession. "Since you've been here, you have not earned your keep."
"I think I'm beyond kitchen and laundry duty," I snorted as I looked at my blistered and dishpan hands.
"No one is beyond doing work to help keep District 13 in order. We all must do our part for all of us to work, live, eat and survive the upcoming war we will have against the Capitol," he berated me. Boggs was an imposing man. He was tall like me with lean muscles. Men and women respected and admired him some even feared him.
"Then why can't I be trained like everyone," I demanded. "If everyone is also doing the same job as me, why can't I be trained as well?" It didn't make sense why I was left out.
"Since you've been here, Hawthorne," Boggs started. "You've done nothing to prove you belong and your worth. You have a chip on your shoulder, no a boulder. You have no respect for the people around you, like they are beneath you."
"No, I don't––" I shook my head.
"Go back to work," he commanded. "You are wasting valuable time."
"I'm capable enough to trained," I insisted. "You're not giving me a chance."
"You are not going to get a chance until you learn patience, control and respect for the everyone around you," he returned. "And that includes everyone from the guys and gals who do their jobs fixing your meals, cleaning your clothes. You would not be fed or clothed without them. Soldiers rely on everyone and they do not snub those 'beneath' them like you do." Boggs turned and grabbed a broom. "This is your new assignment." The broom landed a foot away from me. "And until I see you have an modicum of respect for the people around you, that is your job."
End of Flashback ––
Since then I kept my head down and my mouth shut. Everyday I watched men and women train while I swept and wiped the equipment they used in the training room. I knew Boggs reassigned me there for punishment. I grew new blisters in my hands––calluses from holding a broom, paint brush and hours of lifting carts of laundry. While others limped and got injuries from their training, I was treated from blisters holding a broom. It was humiliating. When I heard about rumors of the MockingJay and the rebellion, I imagined fighting alongside him and his rebels. This was not the life I imagined.
My alarm clock rang a second time reminding me that I have to wash up and get dressed for the day. My uniform was sent through a laundry shoot that was built inside the wall. I lifted the crisp, fresh and clean garment from the shoot and dressed quickly if I intend to have breakfast. Once you missed breakfast, lunch or dinner, there was no opportunity to get another meal until the next meal period. I learned that the hard way.
Grudgingly I stood in line with a tray in hand, as my food was dropped into their perspective slots. Carbs, protein, vegetable/fruit consisted of bread, chicken which they raised in a lower level of the bunker, and peas, corn or carrots for vegetables and orange or apple with water, coffee or tea. I hated to admit that I missed Mellark's bread from time to time, as the biscuits they served tasted like flour and water with no flavor. I might as well have been eating a cracker the first time I chewed on their version of bread. The one time I complained about the food I was denied the next meal and was given protein water as punishment. Life in District 13 was hard and rigid. I couldn't go out in fear of being detected. I missed the woods and my freedom.
I never thought I missed the Seam. Back in District 12 I had my friends and my family who cared for me. I took them all for granted in exchange for a dream of becoming a solider in MockingJay's army. Then I realized I was part of District 13's militia. Out there was MockingJay; fighting the fight I had thought I volunteered for. I had made matters worse as I requested Boggs to let me find the rebels who served MockingJay. I wanted to serve under MockingJay's command not Coin's rebels.
"Do you honestly think that President Coin will allow you to leave the comfort of 13 so you can look for MockingJay and his rebels," Boggs chortled. "No one here knows who he is and where his men are hiding."
"But if you let me go, I know I can find him" I boasted. "I've hunted and tracked game. I can easily find MockingJay."
Boggs stared into my eyes his brows scrunched. Then a second later he laughed––a big belly laugh that displayed his white teeth. "President Snow…his Peacekeepers have been hunting and searching for him for…years, decades. And you? You are going to find him?"
"I'm the best tracker in my district."
"You got a lot of balls Hawthorne, Of course, you are 12's best tracker. You're probably the only tracker in your district," he guffawed. "You have no one to compete with. Who else is tracking game in your district?" He laughed again tears ran down his eyes as he held a hand to his stomach. That wasn't true since Katniss was just as good as me, and maybe far better. But I wasn't about to admit that.
So I was two for two in humiliating myself but that time I knew to speak to Boggs in private. I ate my breakfast in silence grateful that the meal was filling if not satisfying. The emotion in the room was somber and sterile. It was so quiet you can hear the tinkling of silverware as it contacted the metallic meal trays. Suddenly the cafeteria monitored turned on.
Ordinarily the monitor televised information about the Capitol. It's been nearly two weeks since the reaping. We would have watched the interviews the night before but the whole compound was darkened as all lights were turned off and everyone was ordered to their rooms. Emergency lights and minimal activity was allowed. Usually that meant that Capitol hovercrafts were flying within the vicinity. We couldn't afford to be detected by the sounds emitting from the compound and the energy we used.
I sat in awe and longing as I watched Katniss appear wearing a dress. I have never see her look so beautiful and radiant. She also looked uneasy and anxious. I snorted as to the reason why. She was forced to have her interview with Mellark. She looked uncomfortable with him while he sat next to her his eyes in complete adoration. My eyes were stuck to the screen as the image of Katniss burned in my head. I missed her.
Everyone cheered and clapped when Katniss' talent performance was televised. Her score was even more than I imagined. She scored a 14 even after threatening the Head GameMaker. She was glorious and a sight to behold when she was in hunter mode. That as the Katniss I grew to love.
My happy disposition soured when Mellark's performance and score was revealed as well. I snorted. He received a 10 for throwing metals balls at the glass partition. 'Big deal.'
"What's wrong, Hawthorne?" Douglas asked. He was one of the two that found me in District 13 and 'carried' me to the hidden compound. The woman, Bailey was seated next to him. "Not impressed with Mellark's talent performance?" I snickered and shrugged my shoulders.
"I don't understand how he got a 10," I admitted. "Any guy with upper body strength can throw a 100lb kettle bell." I caught Commander Boggs attention. He sat two tables from me with his back turned. That's why I admired about Boggs he ate with the rest of us mingling with soldiers and not those high in command. They sat at a special table assigned to them.
"Oh, so you can do better than Mellark?" he asked his brow furrowed in interest.
"How hard can it be?" I returned. "If Mellark can do it, I bet anyone can."
"Can you?" Boggs inquired. "Do you know what kind of strength and control it takes to throw that much weight at the same spot?"
I shrugged my shoulders. People around me started to whisper around me. I turned back to the interview.
"Peeta and I are here in the Capitol together," Katniss said. "It is the worst and best thing that has happened. Circumstance brought us together, I would change a lot of things in my past but getting to know Peeta? It was the best thing that ever happened to me. I wouldn't change that. Maybe I'm being selfish, but I am glad that he…is here with me."
I cringed as Mellark responded.
"I don't regret a single moment or time we spent together. If you must know, I've had a crush on Katniss since I was five. How we got together, I never regretted it. The only thing I would change is her, being here with me."
"Don't say that. I want to be here with you."
"So exactly how long have you been together?" Caesar asked.
I flinched and wondered how long we were subjected to the sob story of their relationship––how they met. Blah, blah, blah. I was bored to tears but everyone around me was mesmerized.
"Not long," Katniss' image said. "As a matter of fact…" She talked about Ivan who had harassed her and how Peeta saved her life that night. I thought about that night over and over and wondered had I handled it better would Katniss be with me instead of Mellark?
"Everyone by now knows that Peeta was unjustly punished for a crime he didn't commit. He saved me from Peacekeeper Ivan. We've been together after that incident."
"And her family healed and save me," Peeta said.
"Yes I see, but is it true that no one was caught? The person who murdered Peacekeeper Ivan is still at large," Caesar continued. I still wondered who murdered Ivan that night.
"It's not a subject we talk about in length," Katniss stated.
"Yes, the most important fact is that it's in the past and we don't want to discuss it." Peeta stated.
"I see," Caesar surmised. "Katniss, we know of the unfortunate accident that took your sister, Prim. You were chosen to take her place."
"Yes, my sister Prim…is gone." Her voice was low and soft.
"My condolences on your family's loss," Caesar said with sincerity. "I just want to say that the Capitol will be rooting for you or at least I will during the games. Is there anything or anyone that you want to say a good bye to? Any last words." Peeta nodded his head at Katniss.
"I just want to say to mom and dad." She stared into the audience. "Thank you for everything. For being the best parents that Prim and I could ever have. To Prim…I know you are in safe place now––you will always be loved where...ever you are. I miss you."
"Peeta?"
"Dad, Rye," his voice shook. "There are no words to describe how much you guys mean to me. Don't be sad, Dad. I'm okay. I really am. And Rye, don't be angry too long. I expect you and Delly to have more kids and live happily ever after. Live the life you were meant to have. Honor Graham and I by living your life to the fullest and happiest you can be. And Delly, let Rye have his sugar fix every once in a while. He loves you so much. I love you all. Live for me that's all I want."
Everyone around me was quiet. Some women had tears in their eyes. I rolled mine from the sappiness.
"It's so sad and unfair," a woman wailed. "They love each so much and they are going to die in the arena." I snorted. Peeta wouldn't survive that I can guarantee but Katniss had a really good chance to win. She was a fighter and hunter with good survival instincts. Peeta wouldn't make it a day and he was a liability to Katniss. He was dead weight.
"She lost her sister too," another voice cried out. I was sad and angry when I heard the new of Prim's death. It was Mellark's fault I was certain. She died and he somehow survived. The thought of Prim dead made me hate Mellark even more.
"They are the Star Crossed Lover of District 12," someone voice. I snorted and rolled my eyes again. "It's such a tragedy. Those poor kids."
"Everyone before ending this program, I want to thank all the tributes and their mentors for a successful evening. It has a delight. And drum roll please. Ms. Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark, The Star-Cross Lovers of District 12."
Then the room became silent again as we watched Peeta led Katniss to center stage. She then started to…twirl? After one rotation her dress from bottom up lit on fire. A few seconds Peeta too was ablaze and the audience went wild. I heard screaming and yelling in the background.
"Katniss Everdeen, the Girl on Fire," Caesar exclaimed amidst the loud noise that nearly drowned his voice. "Katniss, Katniss."
"Hey, Hawthorne? Did you know Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark?" Bailey asked. Her red hair shone bright against the sickly greenish lights. I wondered if she has a boyfriend?
"Katniss was my hunting partner," I admitted. "She was my best friend." 'Until I ruined our friendship,' a voice echoed in my head. She was mine and I lost her to Peeta Mellark. The admission and realization didn't sit well in my stomach. "Peeta's father owned a bakery. I didn't know him well."
"Mellark is pretty strong," Boggs said with a gleam of admiration in his eyes. "Takes a lot of concentration and focus to throw those weights across that great distance." He said to no one in particular.
"Humph," I breathed through my nose. "His performance wasn't that impressive." I knew the moment I said those words I was going to regret it.
"Oh really?" Bailey inquired. "So you can do that? Throw five 100 lb bells across the room and have them land at the same spot? To throw that much weight and to shatter a 3" solid glass wall partition?"
"If he can, I don't see how I can't too." I was in to deep now. I couldn't back out another challenge. Besides, like I said if Mellark could do it, how hard could it be?
"Let's go, Hawthorne," Boggs stood up and pointed to me. "Training room right now." I sighed. I opened my big mouth once again.
Twenty minutes later I visited the infirmary as I opened the blisters in my hands. I winced as the medic peeled off the skin and wiped the puss that dripped down my fingers. It was painful. Who knew using a broom was hard work causing me to grow blisters in the first place.
Boggs instructed me to throw the metallic balls towards a target he perched 20 feet off the ground and ten yards away. He set up the same conditions by distance and height. I flinched as I recalled the humiliation I felt when I could only throw three 100 lb bells at a paltry distance––20 feet that barely made if off the ground. I failed miserably.
"This is the reason why you are not being trained," Boggs said. "Peeta Mellark volunteered to help his girlfriend's little sister. He wasn't reaped but volunteered. That was an honorable thing he did. Instead of sympathizing his situation you mocked him. He's in for the fight of his life and you're sizing him up like it's a competition." He shook his head in disappointment. "Where is your compassion? Sympathy? We work as team supporting each other in good and bad times. We are a group of people brought together under stressful circumstances. We need to rely on each other. We are family."
I hated that Peeta Mellark was admired by total strangers who didn't know him. What is it about him that drew people and strangers to him? They saw things in him I couldn't. I'll never understand it.
Boggs was right. I was never going to be trained if I thought less of people around me. They were my companions who I needed to trust and trust me back. What was it going to take for me to get into my head that I needed to change my attitude? Everyday I grew angrier and angrier. I'm alone, lonely and I miss my family and friends. I missed Katniss.
The day was long and boring. I avoided anyone and everyone since my last encounter with Boggs. I had a lot to think about; Katniss, my family and the rebellion––my purpose.
I hoped that my family are doing well without me. I didn't give them much thought when I volunteered as I was too busy thinking about the leaving District 12 and joining the rebellion. My only regret was that I never got the chance to say goodbye to them before I 'died.' I thought of my mother and my siblings often. They would have been heart broken. It was selfish of me to have abandoned them when they needed me. I realized that now.
Before heading to bed I wandered into the empty training room. It was covered in partial darkness as the lights were dimmed. "Hey Hawthorne," Bailey greeted with a smirk on her face. "What are you doing here at this hour?" She was doing curls with a 30 lb weight. She was impressive as her biceps bulged from her short sleeve. Bailey was tall, lean and muscular for a girl. Not the kind of girl I was accustomed to back at home.
I shrugged my shoulders. "Just thinking…I didn't really mean to go here but I guess my mind wandered and my feet led me here." It was true. There weren't too many places to go and hang out. Most places were restricted like the fourth level, which was the Command Center and Coin's private quarters. It was heavily guarded as well. You couldn't wander around if got bored.
"It's get pretty boring after a while. I don't blame you," she countered. "I come here when I'm bored." She returned the weights back at the rack. The training room was spotless and clean all the equipment and weapons were in their proper places.
"Let me take a guess," she started. "You're thinking about a girl back home. You left one behind to join the rebellion."
"Not exactly," I said as I winced as I thought of Katniss.
"A handsome young man like you has to have a girl back home," she said.
"Well…"
"So who is she?" she asked. "Why did you leave her behind to join the rebellion?"
"Why are you asking?"
"You're an open book, Hawthorne," Bailey commented. "It's obvious that Katniss Everdeen was more than just a hunting partner. I saw the way you looked at her earlier." I turned my head to avoid eye contact. Was I that obvious?
"You don't know what you're talking about?" I didn't need this. First Boggs humiliated me over and over. Now, Bailey acted as if she knew me.
"I may not know you well, but I know jealousy when I see it," she said. "And your obvious distain for Peeta Mellark. What? Did he steal her away from you? Big tall, handsome boy like you cheated on because of Mellark?"
"She was mine," I said.
"A girl doesn't wander unless something was missing in your relationship," she stated. I flinched. "You were in a relationship, right? Or were you the kind that step out on her because one girl wasn't enough?" I remained quiet.
"No." I said soft and low.
"No, what? You didn't cheat on her."
"No, we weren't exactly…in a relationship," I admitted. "Not a romantic one anyway. I thought were." Bailey laughed. It was a laugh of ridicule and disgust.
"Oh, I get it now," she blustered between pockets of laughter. "You were hunting partners and best friends. And you being a guy, you assumed and expected that there was a relationship between the two of you because…because you hunted together."
"Well, I thought it was understood." She laughed harder. "What?" I grew angry. "I was with other girls because I had needs and she wasn't ready."
"I bet…so you fooled around while you waited for her," she huffed. "You expected her to be your girl because you hung out together. You didn't even consider her feelings. You just assumed she was yours because, because you're all that, getting experience elsewhere while she supposed to wait and you get your rocks off until you were done and she was ready to be with you as your girlfriend. And in the meantime, she wasn't dating anyone and you thought it was because no one can love her like you did. I mean your version of love where you tell her what to do and she's supposed to be all girl-like and do as you say. Because you're the man in the relationship."
She couldn't contain her laughter as she summed up my relationship with Katniss. "So when you decide you were ready she was supposed to look into your eyes, fall madly and deeply in love with you?" I nodded my head.
She laughed again but this time she doubled over. Everyone has been telling me that my love for Katniss was one sided. She loved me but like a brother. The thought made my stomach turn because I hadn't looked at her at all until she started developing.
Was it wrong of me to be attracted to my best friend who grew up to be a beautiful woman? "But Katniss' eye was elsewhere," she taunted me. "While you ogling her and sleeping with other girls who weren't your girlfriend she was ogling Peeta Mellark."
"Stop," I said between gritted teeth. "I did love Katniss. I wanted her to be my wife."
"Really, while you were busy sowing your oats? So by the time you realize you were ready to settle down she was with Mellark?"
"Mellark had no right to take her from me?"
"Oh, Hawthorne. She was never yours to begin with. You had no understanding between the two of you. That was all one sided. How can you claim to love Katniss when you openly had relations with others girls which she knew about? Where was the courtship?"
"Katniss is not that kind of girl," I stated. "I never imagined her wanting flowers, picnics in the meadow or dinner dates. She wasn't the type."
"You're an idiot if you think that any girl who is attracted to a guy wouldn't want to romance her. She may not wanted flowers and presents but she would still wanted your undivided attention. Katniss would still be wanted to be treated special from all the other you dated." She air quoted her fingers. "I myself find flowers useless and wasteful but I would have appreciated the thought." My throat felt parched. Living in the Seam we didn't have the luxury of picnics and flowers. It was pointless but, I could have done something with her, spend time together getting to know each other better than just hunting partners. I didn't even know what her favorite color was. I could have courted Katniss.
"It's a moot point," I said. "Katniss is with Peeta. I know that. She picked him." Bailey shook her head, her mouth a thin line.
"You're missing the point," she voiced. "You can admit that now because she is out of your grasp. She is going into the arena for the Hunger Games. The simple truth is with or without the games she chose him. She chose Peeta before the games. She chose him over you."
I thought I had time with Katniss. I knew that I made mistakes––treating her disrespectfully while I was with other girls as I expected her to wait for me. But most of all, for taking her for granted and assuming she wasn't attracted to anyone, especially a blond hair blue eyed Merchant boy.
"I don't understand," I started. "I don't understand what she…Katniss sees in Peeta."
"You won't," she persisted. "You can't see or understand why she chose him. You'll never figure out what she sees in Peeta, what is it about him that fills her heart. You only see and feel the gaping hole she left inside you." I was heartbroken. She was the one person I trusted and loved besides my family.
Somehow talking to Bailey, she made me see sense and reason. I couldn't fight the bond between Peeta and Katniss or understand it. Looking at them together made no sense, she was a girl from the Seam living in impoverished conditions hunting to survive while he was a Merchant boy who didn't understand the meaning of poverty or sacrifice. But they gravitated towards each other––it was as if they were meant to be.
"You and I have gotten on the wrong foot, so to speak," Bailey started. I grunted. "You're not a bad guy, just arrogant and selfish." I snorted as she smirked back at me.
"Was that a compliment?"
"It's the truth. Joking aside, I can tell you really loved Katniss. She just wasn't for you."
"I really wish people would stop saying that," I said. Even if it was the truth I didn't need to hear it.
"And you, yourself have not exactly…endeared yourself to anyone here, Hawthorne," she countered. "Like Boggs said you have a big chip on your shoulder that needs to be knocked off if you intend to get along with anyone here."
"Hey, I get along with everyone," I argued.
"Sure, you do."
"How long have you been here?" I asked in curiosity.
"Long enough to know how to listen to orders and get along with people," she snickered. "You have a lot to learn if you intend to stay here."
"This was not what I imagined," I admitted.
"What? That you would be fighting in the districts killing Peacekeepers?"
"I don't know what I was expecting but this…" I pointed around us. "…was not what I had imagined."
"You're lucky," Bailey began. "You're safe, warm and fed. The rebel camps are lucky if they have fresh water and food. The MockingJay is commanding a paltry army of men and women living off the land while fighting Peacekeepers with advance weapons and supplies."
"See! That was what I expected," I said. "Not to be stuck here cleaning after people."
"You're really think that once you volunteered, the command was going to give you a weapon without training or experience?" she said. "That they were going to send you off to fight? A newbie like you with a temper and a chip of his shoulder?"
"Well…"
"You really are an idiot," Bailey said her tone hard and firm. "You think you can come here and fight against peacekeepers without any training? That we who have been together for months training together as group, would let you just waltz in here and insinuate yourself into our family? We don't know you, or trust you."
"I was never given a chance," I insisted.
"A chance you haven't earned," she persisted. "All this time, you haven't learned a single thing. We work as a unit training together, building trust between each other. You have never indicated that you are a team player, someone we can trust to watch our back. You don't trust anyone. How are we supposed to work and trust you?" This conversation was getting old––I haven't earned my place, they work as a unit––a family. It was repetitive and boring, but there was a grain of truth.
I never thought of the team dynamics––that I needed people to trust and people needed to trust me. So far, I have proven them right, that I was untrustworthy and uneasy to get along. I had a lot to prove not just to the people around me but also to myself.
That night in my bunk I couldn't' sleep. Conversations swirled in my mind––Mom, Katniss, Garrett, Bailey, Boggs. People I loved, admired and met. They spoke to me hoping to get through my stubbornness and pride. I knew I had disappointed my mother most of all.
The next morning it was same routine as I woke up, dressed and had my breakfast. An hour after wiping down the training room floor, Boggs asked for me.
"What did I do now?" I muttered underneath my breath. My shame and remorse ate into my being. I had never felt this before. "President Coin wants a word with you" he informed me. 'President Coin––the leader and president of District 13?'
"Holy fuck, why?" I sputtered as my hands gripped the handle of the mop tightly that my knuckles turned white. "Why would she want to see me?" I was stumped and scared.
"I don't know what you did, but she's asking for you," he stated in calm manner. His eyes revealed nothing––fear or curiosity. The president gave an order and the soldier obeyed no words or questions asked. The walk to the Commander Center felt long even though it only took a mere ten minutes to reach the restricted area. Several armed soldiers roamed the floor.
We entered into a room filled with several monitors on the walls. The largest monitor displayed the map of Panem as each districts were outlined. Little red dots peppered several districts. On other screens displayed landscape of certain districts. I recognized District 4 with the vast ocean and seaports. The other districts I was unfamiliar with but one caught my eye. It was District 12. I recognized the terrain as I mapped out the route in preparation for an emergency evacuation. I sighed as I longed to set my foot on solid earth, to feel the wind in my face, to breath in the smell of pine and earth and to listen to the sounds of forest critters and birds chirping. The sight of 12's foliage made me homesick.
Suddenly, President Coin appeared. She was small woman with long white hair. One might say she was kind of pretty for someone in her age. "Have a seat, Hawthorne," Coin said as she sat down and knitted her fingers together and place it on top of a long table. She addressed Boggs first. "Is he the one?" she asked him. 'What? I'm the one?'
"Yes, Madam President," Boggs answered back. "We picked him because…well it was his home. He knew where to go and not get caught, but he encountered the girl and Abernathy. We almost had him." They spoke about the mission Boggs had sent me weeks prior.
"How unfortunate that your mission failed," she said as she shook her head. I thought about my attempt to 'recruit' Peeta that one evening several weeks ago. It felt like a lifetime. I remembered the shock and surprise I felt after seeing Katniss that night. She wore a dress and her hair was down. For a moment I was so mesmerized that I had forgotten who I was pretending to be and my objective. As I was dressed like MockingJay, I tasered Peeta and was about to take him to my rendezvous point. A hovercraft waited for me and I was to deliver him to President Coin. It was first and only mission which resulted in failure.
Both Haymitch and Katniss caught me and I was forced to leave without my objective. But before I could escape she punched in the face leaving me with another black eye.
The fact that Coin didn't recognize or acknowledged me led me to believe she never knew who Boggs sent to 'recruit' Mellark.
"Can I call you Gale, that is your name, Gale Hawthorne?" I nodded my head. Boggs remained standing and perched near the door with his hands behind his back his posture straight with his head held high.
"Yes Ma'am," I confirmed. "My name is Gale." I hoped that my voice didn't shake from anxiety and fear.
"Commander Boggs tells me that you are having a difficult time adjusting here," she said. My eyes popped out of my sockets. 'Shit. Are they going to kick me out?' a voice whispered in my mind. "I realize that it will take some getting used to our schedule and way of life but Boggs also tells me that you have been troublesome. Not getting along." I struck was speechless.
"It is unacceptable behavior," Coin scolded me. "We must live in order and cohesion. We utilize every resource nothing goes to waste. Everyone has a job, a task assigned to them in order to live in this compound. Our very survival depends on it."
"Yes, ma'am, I understand," I choked out the words.
"Do you, Gale? Because from what I'm hearing from Commander Boggs and other officers, you are not 'playing well' with others."
"I…I mean no disrespect––"
"I don't need to hear any excuses," she interjected her voice hard and cold. A chill went up my spine. "Boggs says that you are a young man that needs direction, purpose. My gut instinct tells me you are driven and very proud. But pride can kill a man if he is not inclined to listen to others."
"I'm sorry ma'am," I huffed in anxiety. Sweat glistened on my forehead and my hands felt clammy. 'Did I remember to wear deodorant?'
"If I had it may way, I would send you back to the miserable existence where you came from," she started. "But Boggs has convinced me that all men should be given a second chance. To prove to himself and to others of his worth. I was told that men like you are worth keeping. Then another matter was brought to my attention––that the MockingJay was seen in your district. What say you? Is there any truth to that rumor? Do you have any idea who he is, his real identity?"
"No, ma'am. I don't know who is and I'm not sure about that rumor," I said. "From what I heard he was seen in Districts 8 and 9."
"I also heard a rumor that MockingJay is a resident of 12," she added. "That he lives amongst you." I gasped. "There were sightings of him a few weeks ago. Moreover, I want to know his real interest in Peeta Mellark. Why he used that young man in his broadcast? He must mean a great deal to him."
"There were rumors of the MockingJay in District 12, but I thought nothing of it. I don't believe he's from 12 let alone that he is hiding there." It was a mining district, faraway from the Capitol. I've been trying for years to leave 12 and join the rebellion. So why would the MockingJay hide in my district away from the incursions and rebel activity he supposed to be leading?
"Hawthorne may have a point, President Coin," Boggs interjected. "Our other source has not been able to locate or find any hints of the MockingJay's presence in 12."
"Well, my instincts tell me otherwise," Coin asked back.
"But why choose Hawthorne. He is not trained." 'Choose Hawthorne, me for what?
"Gale personally knows Mellark. I believe that Peeta has a connection to MockingJay." They spoke to each other as is if wasn't around.
"You believe that Peeta Mellark is related to the MockingJay?" Boggs asked.
"Why else would he use Peeta in his broadcast unless he meant something to the rebel leader? Maybe he wanted justice for the young man because the MockingJay knows him." Coin argued. Peeta related to the MockingJay? The baker of District 12 is the MockingJay? I wanted to laugh out loud but thought against it. It was impossible?
"Ma'am, he is not ready––" Boggs interrupted as my question was ignored.
"Nonetheless, if the MockingJay is a resident of 12, he knows Gale. Why else would he send him to find us?"
"Even if that's true, Hawthorne can't go back to 12. He's been declared missing and presumed dead," Boggs stated.
"I didn't say he was going back to 12. I have verified reports that the MockingJay is in District 2. I can only guess that he's going to rescue Peeta from the arena. He has demanded that we rescue him a few weeks ago. I disagreed."
"What? MockingJay is going to rescue Peeta?" I said. That also meant he was also going to rescue Katniss as well.
"What is your order, Madam President?" Boggs inquired.
"You are going take Hawthorne with you and stop MockingJay from his suicidal plans."
"But wouldn't it makes better sense that if he died, you can lead the rebellion?" Boggs stated.
"He is not only a symbol. MockingJay has many men who follow him. His death would cripple our rebellion. I can't have him working against me if we intend to succeed in freeing Panem from the Capitol and Snow."
"I don't understand," I interjected. "I thought that we are all on the same side." I was so confused. Who was leading the rebellion? MockingJay or Coin? And why would MockingJay risk his life to rescue Peeta?
"I have my reason which I don't have to explain to you," Coin said in calm but cold manner. "Listen, you don't have a good standing here in 13. As I see it, you will be assigned to your job indefinitely with no chance to take part of the rebellion. If you want be part of this, you must prove your loyalty to me. The MockingJay is a symbol, not leader of the revolution. I am. I have support and means to end Snow and his regime. You have to decide right now who you will follow."
I turned to Boggs for some words of wisdom and advise. For as long as I can remember listening to the MockingJay's broadcast was all I knew. He was my symbol of hope and my reason to fight for my home and family. The survivors of District 13 were a rumor, annihilated by Snow and his peacekeepers. It turned out that they had survived and were building their army and armaments. How do I choose? I'm alone and on my own with people who have no regard for me but I have a chance to make something of myself. MockingJay was a legend and a hero in my eyes who was far away and I felt abandoned by him.
I knew this was a turning point in my life––chose Coin or MockingJay. Both fighting for the same cause but each had their own agenda. Who had more to gain? "President Coin, I made a decision," I said, my voice shook as I decided my fate. I just hoped that I don't live to regret it.
Haymitch POV ––
Sweat beaded from my forehead. I didn't want to leave Katniss and Peeta anywhere in the mansion. I didn't want to be separated from them, but I had no choice. Now Plutarch led us to join Snow for dinner. I felt sick to my stomach wishing I was elsewhere. Effie's heels clicked on the stone floor. The sound resonated in my head like hearing drums beating before your execution.
So it made me wonder if this––Peeta and Katniss invited to the dinner and Peeta assaulted, was planned. It felt like it. I looked at Cinna he was calm. His demeanor bothered me. Didn't he realize that lighting Katniss' dress, making that kind of spectacle made her a target as well? Peeta was already in Snow's hit list as Cinna made sure Katniss' name was added along side him. I needed to have a long conversation with Katniss' stylist about the 'order' that was given him. Then I'm going to kick Jay in the ass for giving said order to set Katniss on fire and placing his daughter in more danger.
Cinna knew what he was doing––inciting and inviting trouble and attention. Why?
"Please, everyone have a seat," Plutarch suggested as he seated at the other end of the table. Effie sat next to Cinna. Both Peeta and Katniss would have been seated next to me had they made it for dinner. Not that I wanted Peeta to be injured, but his injury prevented him from participating and Katniss would never leave his side. So Effie, Cinna and I still ended up having dinner without my tributes anyway. Thank God for small favors.
"Very impressive and successful program tonight," Plutarch commented. "I was very impressed with your tributes, Haymitch. I don't in all the years I've have been a GameMaker that I have ever seen such talent especially from…District 12."
"Peeta and Katniss are special," Cinna stated. I bit my lip. Why was Cinna making it worse for Katniss and Peeta? They didn't the endorsement of how special they are.
"I have to admit lighting Ms. Everdeen's dress ended the night in a spectacular fashion. he persisted. "And no one will ever forget their Talent Performance scores––10 and 14."
"I'm surprised you allowed the rating," I confessed.
"We've never had tributes like Katniss and Peeta before," Plutarch admitted. "I mean tributes from Districts 1 and 2 are trained. We expect a lot from them, but after a while we've seen knife and spear throwing performances every year. It gets old."
He lifted a wine bottle and filled his glass. "Tonight, we have heard about Peeta, how he volunteered and Katniss was chosen. That is a rare honor for the President of Panem to hand picked a tribute. And their talent performance and score? Well, that will be a conversation for weeks to come."
I snorted. "Yeah, right." Peeta forced to volunteer and Katniss hand selected to be chosen for death.
"One thing is for sure," Plutarch smirked. "This years' games will be the best we'll ever had. I promise you."
"I was afraid you were going to say that," I said and sighed in resignation. There was nothing I could do but wait until our plans were executed because of tonight's performance definitely sealed Peeta and Katniss' fate.
Suddenly the door opened and President Snow appeared. Dressed in a black suit he looked ominous as ever his crystal blue eyes and face emotionless. The man lacked a sense of humor and as Effie would say 'fashion sense.'
"Good evening," he greeted us as he approached the table. I took a deep breath, sat up straight and planted my feet on the floor. Plutarch offered me a glass of wine which I refused. I knew I had to keep my head clear and my mind opened. This was going to be a long dinner and the night was still ahead of us.
AN: Thank you for reading this chapter and also for your patience. One more day until the Hunger Games and for Peeta and Katniss' adventure to begin. Thanks for those you have stayed in this journey. I hoped I didn't disappoint. Have a great weekend.