Claire yawned as she heard a bird chirping outside. The sun had already risen over the mountains, which meant that it was time to wake up. Even so, she could theoretically allow herself to enjoy just a few more minutes of rest. She continued to breathe deeply, ignoring the morning for a little while. She drifted in and out of dreams, but eventually, she decided to stop with this wishy-washy nonsense and wake up for good. She stretched out her legs and wiggled around, trying to get herself out of her lethargic state. It was then that she noticed something wrapped around her tail. After a couple of shakes, she realized that it was Owen.

"Mmm . . ."

"Did I wake you up?"

He stared at her with drowsy eyes and shook his head.

"No. I've been awake for a while."

"Why didn't you get up, then?"

"I was comfortable. You're very warm. Warmer than before, even."

Claire bit her lower beak, and Owen realized too late that he had brought up the elephant in the room. Namely, the fact that she was very similar to an elephant in the room. Claire didn't necessarily encourage complete evasion of the topic, but she definitely didn't enjoy being reminded of the fact that she was a stegoceratops. Of course, the issue was hard to avoid, because there were many limitations that needed to be addressed. Claire still felt guilty about that one morning when Owen had made her bacon and eggs, only to find that she couldn't eat them. Well, at the very least, he didn't seem to have any sensitive topics of his own to deal with . . .

"I'm going to take a shower."

Claire blinked.

"What? Already?"

Owen nodded.

"I, uh . . . I like to have showers in the morning."

Claire rolled her eyes.

"Owen, we need to talk about this."

He went rigid.

"Claire, I-"

"You always take a million years to shower in the morning, and when you're done, the mirror is all fogged up."

He sighed with relief.

"I can take shorter showers, if you want."

Claire nodded.

"Please do. Fifteen minutes of water is expensive each morning, and I don't want to inconvenience Ellie."

Owen nodded.

"Sure thing. I'll just . . . go."

He hobbled over to the bathroom quickly. Claire wondered if he'd be true to his word. The one advantage of his long showers was that she had time to graze outside. She wasn't too happy about her current eating habits, but there was not much she could do to change her biology. She wasn't sure if she was hungry all the time because she was starving herself or because that was just the way she was. She'd have to ask Ellie.

During all of this pondering, Owen had come out of the shower. He had taken hardly any time at all. He wasn't in for long enough to fog up the mirror, apparently. In fact, he hadn't even washed his hair. Claire smiled as he reentered the room.

"Thanks, Owen. I really appreciate it."

He nodded in reply, his teeth chattering.

***TSJWFEW***

Having missed her secret grazing opportunity, Claire was forced to eat grass in plain sight. Owen sat on the bench-swing reading a novel while she stepped down from the patio and into the field. He lifted his head briefly when she tore up her first clump, but promptly turned back to his book, finding nothing out of the ordinary in her behavior. Claire was self-conscious at first, but after a while, she got into a rhythm. She'd tilt her head, grab a clump, then tear it from the ground.

Tilt, grab, tear.

Tilt, grab, tear.

Tilt, grab, tear.

After a few minutes, she decided to quit the endeavor. Although she was happy with her system, she realized that Owen must feel very uncomfortable watching her, and it would be rude to continue. When she looked up, however, he was still engrossed in his novel. Claire lumbered over to the bench-swing and sat down beside him.

"Hey."

He put his book down and wrapped his arm around her (as far as it would go).

"Did you have a good breakfast?"

Shit! He brought it up. What was she supposed to say?

"It was . . . grass . . ."

Owen twisted his mouth.

"We should plant you a garden."

"Why?"

"Well, if you don't like grass, I want you to have different options."

Claire shook her head quickly.

"No, the grass is fine. It's just . . . Is it weird for me to eat grass?"

Owen narrowed his eyes.

"Well, there wasn't any grass in dinosaur times, so I don't know if it's-"

"That's not what I meant."

Owen frowned in confusion. When he realized what she was getting at, he shrugged.

"I see nothing wrong with it. But you shouldn't have to care what I think."

"I don't!"

"Then don't be afraid."

"I'm not!"

"Good."

He leaned against her shoulder and smiled. After a second, his eyes flicked open.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you: Barry's taking me into town today."

Claire blinked.

"Barry's coming? Today?"

Owen nodded.

"He says I have to preserve my masculinity, now that I have a girlfriend."

Claire frowned.

"Did he."

"Mhm. It doesn't mean much coming from him, though, because he once said that he only eats smooth peanut butter because the other kind is too 'bumpity' and gross."

Claire rolled her eyes.

"Great. How long will you be?"

"Couple of hours, tops. Don't worry. I couldn't possibly forget about you . . ."

He stretched up and gave her a kiss. To make it easier for him, Claire knelt down on the swinging bench like a crouching lamb and let him crawl beneath her. They embraced for a few seconds before Owen pulled away.

"Claire, why don't you ever kiss me?"

Claire blinked in confusion.

"What?" she asked cluelessly.

"I'm always the one to initiate our kisses," Owen remarked, "Why don't you ever kiss me first?"

Claire shrugged.

"I dunno. It's no big deal, Owen. If we kiss, we kiss."

He nodded halfheartedly.

"I guess . . . I just wish you would surprise me once in a while."

Claire smiled.

"I can be plenty surprising . . ."

They turned their heads as a shrill horn beeped twice. From a glimmering portal, Barry sped forward in a very small car. Claire took one look at him and laughed.

"A smartcar! He bought a smartcar!"

She turned to Owen.

"Tell me, who was questioning your masculinity again?"

Barry pulled up to the porch and turned off his vehicle. He stepped out and punched Owen's shoulder jovially.

"Hey, Owen! How have things been?"

"Great, Barry! You?"

"Good, good. I just finished fixing a water heater in the other world. Zara says hi."

Claire smiled.

"How is she doing?"

"Better, I think. She's keeping herself busy, anyway. Now, Owen, do you need a second to get ready?"

Owen shook his head.

"Naw, I can go now. Do you need anything, Claire?"

"When you get back, can you saw my horns off?"

Owen's eye twitched.

"I think I misheard you."

Claire shook her head.

"I want you to saw my horns off. They're getting in the way."

Owen bit his lip.

"Claire, I can't do that . . ."

"It probably won't hurt-"

"Claire, I can't saw your horns off because you really ought to keep them. They're beautiful."

"And very useful for hanging coats," Barry snickered.

Owen kicked his leg and turned back to Claire.

"We'll talk about this later. Don't try anything until I get back, okay?"

Claire nudged him with her beak.

"Okay."

He mussed the area where her hair would have been and smiled.

"I love you, Clairebear."

He glowered as Barry burst out laughing. With a helpless shrug, he followed him into the car. As they sped down the dirt road, Claire bit her lower beak.

"I love you too, Owen."

***TSJWFEW***

Owen tapped his fingers on the rim of the car's window, feeling the wind blowing through his hair. He glanced at the rearview mirror every few seconds, even though the ranch was out of sight. Barry elbowed him lightly.

"You seem nervous."

Owen nodded.

"I'm worried about Claire."

"She probably won't saw her own horns off . . ."

Owen frowned.

"It's not about that. I'm just worried about her in general."

"She can't cause too much damage, can she?"

Owen frowned.

"Barry, she's not an animal. That's the point. Ever since she was stuck as a stegoceratops, she's been . . . different."

"Different?"

"She's gotten really shy and quiet, and she cries a lot."

"How often?"

"Regularly. I didn't mind, at first, because I thought it would be a one-time thing, but she's still at it."

"Well, if she's crying, she's probably upset," Barry said unnecessarily.

"I know. I try to understand what's wrong, but she keeps tiptoeing around the issue. I want to help her, but she won't tell me what she needs."

Barry rubbed his chin. He sat in silence for a bit, then snapped his fingers.

"She must be upset because she's a stegoceratops."

Owen slapped his forehead.

"Barry . . . I know. That part is kind of obvious."

Barry shrugged.

"Well, I tried. Why don't you forget about her for a bit and enjoy yourself?"

Owen groaned.

"I can't enjoy myself while she's miserable."

He sighed and looked out the window.

"Maybe we ought to go back . . ."

Barry shook his head.

"Owen, it's been forever since we hung out. Don't let her ruin this."

Owen crossed his arms.

"Barry, she's all I have. I've lost a lot of family members as of late, and I'm not about to let her go."

Barry made a whipping sound.

"Stop that!" Owen complained, "Being concerned for Claire does not make me her slave. Now turn the car around. I have to make sure she's okay."

Barry sighed.

"You're making a mistake, Owen."

"Do it."

"I refuse. Claire is a grown woman. She can take care of herself."

***TSJWFEW***

Claire grunted in frustration as she tried to rub her horn against the electric saw. There was no way she could operate the machinery by herself, but she could at least get started on her project while Owen was in town. She moved her head back and forth, hoping to make a small cut. Growing frustrated, she pushed her horn harder. That was when she slipped. She slid down the blade, and before she knew it, she was blinking blood out of her eye. She tossed her head and mooed in distress.

"Shit! Owen is gonna kill me!"

She thundered out of the tool shed and made her way to the main cabin. Once inside, she darted to the right and entered the unfinished bathroom. Ellie had been renovating the house like crazy for the past few days, so there was no tile on the ground. Luckily, there was a mirror large enough for her to use. Claire placed her front feet on the sink and peered at her injury. The cut didn't appear to be deep, but it was bleeding like crazy. To make matters worse, she hadn't even put a dent in her horns, and-

CRACK!

Claire brayed in surprise as the sink broke under her weight. The porcelain shattered as it hit the ground, making a powdery, white mess. She looked at the jagged fragments and bit her lip. It looked like a shark had taken a bite out of the bowl. Claire whimpered as tears began to form in her eyes. She sniffled as quietly as she could manage, but when the first drop of water slid down her cheek, she knew it was Game Over. She sat down on her big, fat rump and started sobbing into her front feet.

As she made a shrill whimper-scream, Claire turned to examine her figure. Her tail was hanging limply behind her like a wet baguette. With a deep frown, she stood up, grabbed the wretched thing in her beak, and pulled hard. She didn't know what she hoped to accomplish by tugging on her tail, but she knew that she'd be a lot happier without it. Slamming her thagomizer to the ground, she stepped on it and attempted to trample it with her back feet. Maybe she could reduce it to a bloody pulp and it would fall off on its own.

Claire continued to batter herself until the pain set in. She had done some real damage to her tail, but unfortunately, it was not enough to warrant amputation. She bit down hard on one of her spikes and tried to yank it out. Of course, it was stuck to her, but she didn't care. There came a point when she stopped attacking herself and simply tossed her head in distress. She mooed dolefully, but when she caught sight of her reflection in the mirror, her sorrow turned to anger.

"AAAAAAAAAH!"

She screamed in fury and slammed her face against the glass. After a few seconds, she realized how foolish she was being. As she slid her horns out of the wall, she heard the loose pieces clinking to the floor. She avoided looking directly at the mess she had caused. Instead, she backed out of the bathroom, stepped outside, and continued to cry there. She sobbed and sobbed and sobbed until she realized that she had begun to graze unconsciously. She spat out a mouthful of grass, sincerely disappointed in herself. On one hand, she was clearly comfort-eating, but on the other hand, she needed to adjust her diet. She was absolutely starving, but if she were to eat properly, she'd get fatter, and then she'd have even more to be upset about. She didn't want to be a chronic eater, but if left to her own devices, she'd have nothing else to do. Maybe she could take up a hobby. She could knit. No, that wouldn't work, because she didn't have hands. Besides, she'd end up becoming a chronic knitter or something. Maybe she could just help out around the house. Would that make her a chronic cleaner? Oh, why did everything have to be so hard?

***TSJWFEW***

"Ah! Barry! Let me go!"

Owen struggled to escape Barry's grasp, but he had him pinned under his arm.

"Sorry, Owen. This is for your own good."

"Damnit, Barry, she needs me!"

Barry tossed Owen to the ground.

"Listen to me, Owen. Claire can handle herself. Take a day off."

"Love doesn't get a holiday!"

Owen tried to push past, but Barry immobilized him.

"Owen, you'll feel a lot better once we've socialized with other people. You're getting cabin fever."

Owen grunted as Barry dragged him away from the car.

"Barry, I'm not getting cabin fever! Claire is all alone right now, and-"

Barry held up his hand.

"Tell you what? Why don't we compromise? You come into town with me, and we'll buy something for Claire. Sound okay?"

Owen nodded reluctantly.

"Alright . . . But I'm not staying for any longer than two hours. Claire is waiting for me."

Barry rolled his eyes.

"I'm sure she's keeping herself busy."

***TSJWFEW***

"Mooooooooo . . ."

Claire rolled around on her back miserably, letting her plates fold every which way. She lowed like a sick animal, and her tongue flopped out of her mouth lazily.

"I'm disguuuuuuuuusting . . ."

She rolled onto her side and kicked her legs.

"I'm repuuuuuuuuulsive . . ."

She rubbed her cheek against the carpet.

"I haaaaaaaaate myself . . ."

She gave up on her self-pity and waddled through the house, making her way towards the fridge. She was both grateful and furious that Ellie's allosaur friend had volunteered to provide her with food, because she had left no less than five tubs of chocolate ice cream in the freezer . . . soon to be one.

Claire finished the bucket, licking it clean with her massive tongue before putting it with the others. She was feeling less hungry now, but the ache in her stomach had shifted to her head. It felt like someone was whacking a hammer against her skull. Claire waddled over to the medicine cabinet and pulled out a bottle of Advil. She stuck the cap in her mouth and bit down hard. Unfortunately, instead of giving her extra grip, the bite crushed the entire bottle. Claire stood with the broken plastic hanging from her beak. She was beyond tears now, and just wanted this day to be over. She looked down at the scattered pellets and began to lap them up directly off of the floor. It couldn't hurt to ingest every single one, considering her body was fifty gazillion times larger than a normal human being. If anything, they wouldn't be enough for her.

Probably.

***TSJWFEW***

Owen scanned the items in his shopping basket with a furrowed brow. He rummaged through, trying to get a better look at his haul.

"Green apple soap, green apple bubblebath, green apple shampoo . . ."

"She's doesn't even have hair!" Barry snorted.

"Yes, but she has a frill. It's practically the same thing."

Barry shook his head.

"You're unbelievable. Are you sure she likes green apples?"

Owen nodded.

"Yeah, yeah, she told me that she liked the smell of green apples, once."

"Does she like it enough to warrant buying all of this junk?"

Owen pouted.

"What else am I supposed to do, Barry? I can't get her clothing or gift cards . . ."

"Dinosaurs don't use gift cards?"

"Not if they're being hidden on a ranch."

Barry's face fell.

"You mean she can never leave?"

"Of course not. She's a dinosaur."

Barry shook his head.

"That's rough."

Owen nodded.

"I know. I want to be there for her."

Barry sighed. After a moment, he nodded.

"I guess we can head back."

Owen smiled gently.

"Thanks for understanding, Barry."

"Yeah, well, don't be surprised if you're overreacting."

***TSJWFEW***

Claire screamed in pain as her stomach twisted violently. She didn't know what was going on inside of her, but whatever it was, it hurt like hell. She winced and placed her front feet on her belly, only to find that it made the pain worse.

Suddenly, Ellie appeared out of nowhere and crouched down beside her.

"Claire, don't say a word. I've been surveilling your physical state, and you have a hole in your stomach. It's very likely that you overdosed on Advil."

Claire's eyes went wide. She tried to move, but Ellie held her down.

"Hold still. I can fix you."

She placed her hands on Claire's side and ran them over the burning area. The pain disappeared.

"There. Now, what were you doing, taking all of that medication?"

"I had a headache," Claire whispered shamefully.

Ellie cocked her head and frowned.

"Claire . . . Don't be so impulsive. This is a new body, and it has new limitations. Don't assume that you can endure anything."

Claire whimpered and bit her lip.

"I know. I'm sorry. I just . . . It's not . . . It's not fair!"

Claire sniffed loudly.

"I had everything back home. I was a human being. I could go outside without worrying if anyone was around. I could walk to the grocery store and buy food. I could do anything anyone else could do, and nobody gave me a second glance."

Ellie sighed.

"I'm sorry, Claire, but you're just gonna have to accept the fact that you aren't human anymore."

Claire took a shaky breath.

"I know. It's just so hard . . ."

Ellie nodded.

"Nothing in life comes easy."

With a tired moo, Claire stood up and shook the dust off of her sides.

"I broke the sink you installed. I'm sorry."

Ellie smiled.

"Don't be. The more things you break, the better for us, because we get to learn how to design things for different dinosaurs. You're helping a lot of people by being our guinea pig."

"Cow-sized guinea pig."

Ellie turned to the door.

"It sounds like Owen is on his way down the main road. I'll leave before he gets here."

"Are you going to tell him about the Advil?"

"No, honey, of course not."

Claire nodded slowly.

"Thank you . . . For everything."

Ellie winked.

"No problem."

She disappeared as the rattling of a motor became audible. Claire charged through the hall and out the front door. She thundered down the dusty road, heading for the punchbuggy at full force. Owen got out of the car as it was still moving and ran over to meet her. Their collision appeared to be brutal, but it was really a lot more gentle than most hugs. Claire fell on her back as she held Owen against her belly, and as she did, he slid forward, setting himself up nicely for a kiss (which Claire initiated). Barry rolled his eyes as they embraced, pretending that there was something that needed examining on his car. Owen and Claire ignored him, both smiling dopily.

"You're home early . . ."

"I couldn't stay away."

"Thank you for coming back."

"It was my pleasure."

They continued to kiss, but to Claire's horror, she uttered a gentle moo. Pulling back immediately, she stared at Owen with wide eyes.

"Oh my god . . . I'm so sorry."

Owen gave a lopsided grin.

"Don't be. I find it en-dearing."

Claire blinked.

"Wow. That's such an original pun. I've never heard that one before."

Owen raised his eyebrow.

"Really? Because you'd think someone would have . . . Oh. You were being sarcastic."

Claire smiled.

"Well, I suppose I can let bad puns slip, since I'm s-owen love."

"Clairely."

Beside them, Barry snorted.

"Get a room!"

"Get a girlfriend, Barry!" Owen retorted.

"If you find me a nice French girl, we'll talk."

Owen rolled his eyes and turned back to Claire, still perched on her belly.

"So, is everything okay?"

Claire nodded.

"Yeah. Why?"

"There's a cut on your eyebrow."

Claire gulped. She tried to think of a clever excuse, but settled on telling the truth.

"I tried to saw my own horns off."

"Oh, Claire . . ."

"It's okay, though," she said quickly, "I don't think I'll try that again. Besides, you said they were pretty."

Owen smiled.

"As I recall, I used the word 'beautiful'."

"Even better."

As they made a dive for their third kiss, Barry gave an exasperated sigh.

"Seriously?"

Owen held out his middle finger without breaking contact.

"Oh, real mature!" Barry laughed, "Should I leave you two alone, then?"

Owen broke away from Claire briefly to speak.

"Yeah. Can we hang out some other time?"

Barry nodded.

"Sure. Sounds good. Just as long as you never make out in front of me again."

Owen laughed.

"Deal. See you later."

And so it was that Claire kissed Owen for the very first time after her transformation. She had been expecting it to be a big deal, but really, once she had a reason to kiss him, it came naturally. Somehow, he had a way of making her forget what she was. That was fine by her. Maybe, in some strange way, Owen was her Advil. That would explain why she felt so much better when he was near. Maybe there would come a time when she'd have to face the world alone, but for now, she was willing to just sit back and enjoy her good fortune.