A/N: Hey guys! A while back I wrote this piece for Fandom4LLS, and someone recently requested that I post the full piece! This is from 2012 at some point and I kind of forgot it existed, but I hope you enjoy it! Make sure you check out Fandom4LLS, they're serving a great cause and are such friendly and wonderful people!

A Twist of Fate

Madge

Being the mayor's daughter I don't usually have to worry about the Reaping. This year, however, is the year my father gives me the golden pin. The year he tells me about how Aunt May was Reaped when she was 16. The combination of the age and the mockingjay that I wear on my dress is what makes me nervous.

There's also the visit from Katniss and Gale that gets me riled up too. Just an exchange, I remind myself. But that's false, there's more to it than that for me.

There's a reason I wear my hair down in long golden ringlets on the days they bring me strawberries. It's him. The slight chance that he'll see me as more than just the mayor's daughter, maybe a hint of desire in his eyes. So far, however, that has not happened. His stony eyes meet mine and I see the hidden loathing, the anger he'd never express to my face because he's making a trade.

It even echoes in his voice as he 'compliments' my outfit. "Pretty dress," he says, his eyes skirting over the smooth lace of white.

It's not like me to sass but I'm already nervous from it being Reaping day. "Well, if I end up going to the Capitol, I want to look nice, don't I?" It's as if I can see the mirth in his eyes at my response.

"You won't be going to the Capitol," he draws, his eyes stopping on Maysilee's pin. I feel the lump form in my throat. "What can you have? Five entries? I had six when I was just twelve years old."

"That's not her fault," Katniss says quickly. I smile lightly at her and cross my arms gently across my chest. She's right, it isn't my fault.

"No, it's no one's fault," Gale continues as if he's reading my thoughts. "Just the way it is." He locks his jaw as I turn to Katniss, passing her the money in exchange for the berries.

"Good luck, Katniss," I say quietly. I want to include Gale but he makes me nervous, also the fact that he was kind of an ass to me isn't helping.

"You too," she says before turning away, Gale following on her heel. The two are attached at the hip. Everyone thinks they're dating, even me, but I don't ask. Even though Katniss and I are kind of friends we avoid talking about boys. Besides, I don't think she would appreciate it very much if she found out I was crushing on her best friend/possible boyfriend.

It's just a crush, anyway. He's one of those people that would pick apart every flaw in a relationship. He'd make it seem like I was pitying him, or that I was destined to be better than him. I don't think either of that is true. For starters, he's nice to look at. Compared to my milky pale skin, his deep olive tone is beautiful. Not only that but I have a thing for boys with darker hair. And his eyes, don't get me started on his eyes. Seam grey? Not a chance. They're grey like a clear sky before a storm hits. Past looks, however, he's just… different. He gets me fired up, really he does. Angry, and in a household in which emotions are rare it's so much better than numbness. Not only that but he makes me think. He was the first person to get me to question the absurd amount of money my household possesses.

"Madge, dear, you should be going," Eris, the woman who raised me, nudges me toward the door. "Can't be late for the Reaping, especially if you're going to get Peeta first."

I nod and slip my shoes on, throwing my arms around her quickly. "I'll see you soon," I tell her. She nods as well and opens the door for me. Eris is basically my mother considering the one I have is strapped to her bed at all times with terrible headaches. I can't recall the last time I saw her up and walking around. I talk to her every day, including this morning, but she seems so distant, so trapped in her own head. The last piece of advice she gave me was to stay myself. How original.

My thin sandals carry me across the district to the bakery where I'll meet Peeta and walk over to the square together. Peeta's been my best friend since preschool; I can't imagine life without him. He waits outside with his arms crossed as he leans against the brick wall, humming something to himself. He looks so calm, his face smooth and stress free, his hair gelled back trying to impress.

"Come on, Mellark," I call to him. His eyes shoot open and he smiles. "We're going to be late." His new shoes carry himself down the steps until he reaches me, our pace evening out together. "Are you nervous?"

He shrugs, "I don't know, Madge. Not really. That's what makes me nervous, I guess." I nudge him lightly with my elbow as an encouragement and he smiles softly at me. "Are you?"

"More than usual," I admit, glancing down at my pin. "Maybe not. I don't know." Peeta throws his arm playfully around me and we walk the rest of the way to the square like that. No words. We don't need words, we're best friends. Just his presence is a comfort.

Before we split up to our gender sides he gives me a quick hug. "Whatever happens, you're my best friend." I nod and squeeze him closer. He then leaves me for his own side, his eyes trailing the other girls in our area. I try to look for Katniss so I can stand next to her but she strolls in just before the name drawing starts, her hand locked with her younger sister Prim.

Effie Trinket takes the stage, welcoming us, calling out to us, making us feel younger than we are. She acts as if we're newborns and she's trying to get a message through our tiny brains. I fiddle with the tips of my hair as my father takes the stage, monotonously reciting the Treaty of Treason and all about the Dark Days. Somewhere in the middle Haymitch Abernathy, our only living Victor, falls off the stage. It should make me laugh but it just makes the knot in my throat even bigger. Soon enough Effie is back, reaching her hand into the female bowl.

The first slip she picks up, she drops. Everyone's eyes widen as she sighs and reaches in again, the drama of the moment lost. Everyone's mind is racing the same questions, who's name did she drop? Was it mine? Maybe Katniss or her sister? A younger girl I've never met? An older girl? What about the one she's opening now?

But that question is answered in no time. The gasps from the crowd, the parting of the people around me. "Margaret Undersee," my name is still echoing over the speakers. It's like I'm frozen. I know it's my name, they've called my name, but I can't move because it doesn't feel like they did. The funny thing is the lump in my throat is gone. Vanished. I only move when the peacekeepers grab my shoulder and force me into the row in between. Only when I hear my own footsteps does it click in that I'm being ushered toward the stage.

My father sits, his jaw locked as he glances at me climbing the stairs. Tears form behind my eyes but they don't fall, they just sit there. The crowd is huge. I glance down at all of them expecting to feel something, anything other than numb. Numb, numb, numb. It's all I'm getting right now. Except I'm shaking. God, am I shaking. My entire body. Effie welcomes me brightly and says something about how dramatic it is considering I'm the mayor's daughter. My eyes skirt the crowd and Katniss stands staring at me, her eyes wide like she was caught in a spotlight. Next I glance toward the boys looking for Peeta but Gale catches my eye first. It's only for a second, and his jaw is locked too just like my fathers, and then he looks away. He doesn't look back. Again I look around for Peeta as I feel a tear streak down my cheek.

But then, I see him walking toward the stage. His eyes are trained on me, wide and scared. His name echoes off the nearby buildings. "Peeta Mellark. Peeta Mellark." I feel my chin quivering as Effie forces us to shake hands. His eyes lock with mine and he squeezes as hard as he can while I stifle a sob. Without thinking I reach forward and hug him.

"Peeta," I whimper, but he lets me go quickly.

"Whatever happens," he repeats gently before we're ushered into the Justice Hall.

My father's first to visit me. Instead of saying goodbye he just holds me in his arms while I cry. He strokes my hair and whispers quietly in my ear. As if he's a secret just for me.

"You're brave, Madge," he chokes out. "My beautiful Madge."

"Daddy," I cry, wiping my tears away. "Tell Mother I love her, okay? Eris, too. Make sure they know I love them. Don't let Mother watch the Games."

"I won't," he promises, his arms engulfing me again. "Stay yourself, alright? Be brave." I nod as the peacekeepers usher him out of the room.

All I can think about is Peeta in the room next to me. I wonder who visits him. I wonder who doesn't. I turn toward the window and give the district I call home one last feeble glance. I wonder if people who don't visit regret it later in life. Who would I visit?

"Madge?" my voice is in the air as the door shuts behind my next visitor. I turn; my eyes squint as I watch him step closer.

"What are you doing here?" I ask quietly, trying to keep my voice from cracking, although to no avail. Gale Hawthorne. Here to say goodbye.

He watches me for a moment and then shakes his head, "I don't know." I take a step closer and cross my arms across my chest. "If I didn't I… I don't know," he says again. After a brief pause he adds, "I'm sorry." And then his arms are wrapping around me tightly.

I don't question how my form fits perfectly in his or how warm his body is in this chilling room. I just allow my eyes to fill with tears again and cling tighter to his shirt. What's he sorry for? His comments earlier? The fact that I'm going to die? Maybe both? He pulls away and with one last glance I absorb his stormy grey eyes as he leaves the room before the peacekeepers come. Without another word. He's gone. And now he'll always be gone.

Gale

The opening ceremonies are the worst. The way the children who are destined to die are paraded around like puppets. Viewing is mandatory in the Square but I try my hardest to get out of it. Everyone pads their way to the screen, everyone tries to get a good view.

Everyone but me.

I don't want to watch Undersee and her friend on a chariot. They might be stark naked, they might be dazzling. Either way everyone will be interested, and I'm not.

Undersee's father, the mayor, sits on the stage and gazes out on the crowd. People watching, that's what he's doing. Studying the way the citizens of his District gather to watch his child die. How they gather to see her dressed in Capitol clothing, waving to the crowd and blowing kisses so she can get sponsors that won't end up saving her life.

"It's tough for him," Katniss says quietly, motioning to the mayor in his seat. "With Madge gone and his wife…" she trails off and drops her gaze to her feet. I raise an eyebrow, confused at her words. "Mrs. Undersee overdosed on morphling last night," she says weakly. "They couldn't save her."

I have nothing to say in response.

The waiting is agonizing; the murmur of the crowd sends shocks of anger through my blood. Why did it have to be her? The one girl it never should have been. The blonde that played piano and chewed her lip when she got frustrated. Katniss' friend. My friend? No. We weren't. But I said goodbye. I told her I was sorry. Does that count for anything?

When Mellark and Undersee ride out in the chariot the crowd is in awe. It looks as though the two tributes are also in awe at themselves. Undersee can't stop laughing, the way her cheeks tinkle with pink gets me thinking that she's nervous. Mellark grabs her hand, I've been told that they're best friends after all. They hold it up to the world and the citizens go wild.

They're on fire.

Behind me I hear Rory whispering to Primrose. "Think they have a chance? They look incredible!"

The small girl lifts her shoulders in a shrug, "I don't know. I know Madge, she… she's kind of quiet. I'm scared for her." Katniss rests her hand on her sister's shoulder and squeezes gently, casting her eyes up to me. I retract my gaze and return to the screen, watching the District 12 tributes finally stealing the show for once.

"They look beautiful," Posy whispers as the flames that trail behind them light up our screen. I squeeze my baby sister closer to me as she points. "Look Gale, she looks like an angel!"

"Yeah Pose," I murmur, unable to pull my eyes away. "She does."

Madge

"We're pathetic," Peeta laughs, throwing his head back and laying on the floor of the cave. "We could be dead in a few hours and we won't tell each other who it is we're crushing on."

"That's not pathetic," I say back. "It's considerate. If we are to die then we'd be doing them a favor. They wouldn't have to live with the guilt." He considers this a moment and looks back up toward me.

"You know, Madge, I never thought of it that way."

"Exactly, it makes more sense to just…"

"But then again what if we do get back? You heard them, two Victors! It could be us!" I groan and shove my face into my hands. The baker's son and the mayor's daughter, two unlikely candidates for survival now in the final five. "I'll say it if you say it."

"Peeta I've known you my entire life," I laugh lightly. "I already know who it is you like."

"Then who?" he jabs, a grin stretching across his face. "Go on, I'll tell you if you're right."

I hesitate and then the word slips out. "Katniss." His smile drops for a moment, but as he nods it comes right back. "Katniss Everdeen." My only other friend. The person who didn't even bother to visit me when I was being shipped off to my death.

"Alright, so you did know. There, Panem! I'm in love with a girl that doesn't acknowledge my existence, and her name is Katniss Everdeen!" He shouts it so her name echoes off the cave walls. I jump on him and slam my hand to his mouth. "You're turn," he mumbles with a smirk.

"He has a girlfriend anyway," I think, crossing my arms stubbornly. "If I'm going to die I'm not going to let him feel guilty about this…"

"Madge!"

"Peeta!" I jeer back. "It's pathetic, he doesn't like me. In fact, I'm almost 100% sure he hates my entire being." He did visit me, though. He did come to say goodbye. Why did he do that? Why did he…

"Well if you'll never know then just say it."

"My father taught me not to cave in to peer pressure," I say back. "I can't, Peeta. It's humiliating! Plus they'll interview him and it'll just mortify him more and…"

"Name. Now. If I die without knowing this I'm going to kill you."

"Gale," I mumble.

"I'm sorry?"

"Gale! Gale Hawthorne…" the moment his name escapes my lips I feel my face flare up. "Oh, God I'm such an idiot!" I can just imagine his reaction back at home. If he's even watching the Games. Why would he be? Stupid, stupid, stupid! "This is me formally apologizing to whatever they ask you, Gale." I talk to the darkness.

"And me, Katniss," Peeta laughs. "We really are pathetic, aren't we?"

Gale

"Gale Hawthorne!"

"Gale, Gale over here!"

"Have you seen the latest of the Games?"

Reporters swarm me as I reach the town square. I avoid all of them and continue to walk, what would they want with me? I don't have anything to do with anyone in the Games.

"Get away from me," I growl. "What's your problem?"

"What's your relationship with Madge Undersee?" The mention of her name makes me freeze.

"What happened to her? She dead?" My heart drops into my stomach as I wait for them to answer. The pretty blonde that bought my strawberries. The mayor's daughter so unjustly reaped.

It feels like forever before they answer and I'm about to get angry when one of them says, "Look!"

My head snaps around to the screen in the Square where Madge and Peeta sit in a cave together laughing.

"Gale," she mumbles. I look back to them and surely they're filming my reaction. She can't be…

"I'm sorry?" Mellark smirks as if he had heard her anyway.

"Gale! Gale Hawthorne!" Even in this state she looks beautiful, the way her ragged hair is knotted up in a bun, the way her cheeks tingle with pink. "Oh, God, I'm such an idiot!" She drops her head into her hands and then she mumbles something about apologizing to me.

"She… likes me?" The reporters thrust their microphones in my direction and nod enthusiastically. "But I…" I want to say we're just friends, but are we even that? The screen continues to roll as Madge keeps talking.

"It's just a stupid crush," she mutters. "Besides, him and Katniss are together, right? So we're both out of luck."

"Maybe we should just get married then," Peeta drones on unenthusiastically. "Save everyone the trouble." There's a pause as I try figuring out what to say. What do I say? "What do you like about him?"

"He's going to see this!" She's blushing again. "Peeta, this is mortifying."

"Who cares?" he laughs back. "Like I said, we could be dead in an hour." My heart hammers in my chest as I watch the back and forth. Will she say what she likes about me? What's there to like about me? I have to know.

"Gale!" They beg for my thoughts.

"Shhh!" I shove one of the bubble headed freaks away, craning my neck toward the screen. My steps draw me closer and the crowd parts for me as I walk.

"I don't know," she finally continues, a blush still on her cheeks. "We don't even talk that much," she sighs. "The day of the Reaping he even said something about me not getting drawn." Then she laughs, "I bet he feels like an ass now."

"That I do," I mutter under my breath.

"He just… he really butt heads with me. No one does that, they think I'm Ms. Prim and Proper and I'm not allowed to have an opinion. But he… he gets me riled up. He gets me angry and that's a hell of a lot better than feeling nothing."

"Madge, you're blushing," Peeta pokes her and she swats him away.

"I know because this is embarrassing," she shoots back. "Your turn."

"No, no you go on."

I feel like I'm bouncing on my toes as she starts talking again. The mayor's daughter. Has a thing for me, the illegal hunter from the Seam. I can't tell if this is laughable or what… "His dad died in that mining accident a while ago," she mumbles. "Katniss told me, hers did too." Peeta nods. She thinks for a moment because I know she doesn't want to give anything away. "He takes care of his family and all that and it's just really… brave. I guess. Determined."

I want her to keep talking but she doesn't, the screen flashes to another set of tributes. "Well?" one of the interviewers pries again. "How do you feel about that, sir?"

I rack my brain for an answer, I can't just wave this off. I have to help her. "Madge is sweet," I say gently. "She's right, we really do butt heads…" the camera crew laughs and I grin. The words flow naturally out of my mouth. "I've been rooting for her since day one… I'd love to see her come home. See what could happen with us." An audible sigh echoes around me and I play the charm up even more. "If she doesn't come home… I don't know what I'd do."

"Quick," one of them shouts. "Get this to the Capitol, stat!" I act uncomfortable and shuffle on my feet. "What would you do if she came home?"

"God, I don't know," am I really this good at playing the love struck teen boy? "I'd be at a loss of words, I guess."

"Like now," one of them teases.

I laugh, "Yeah, I guess. Like now."

"One more question," they say. "How do you feel about her relationship with Peeta?"

"You heard it yourself," I say gesturing toward the screen. "They're best friends. Always have been. He's keeping her alive, that's all that matters. When they get home I'll have to thank him."

My interview airs that night, and moments later they flash to the Games where a silver parachute arrives filled with food for the two of them. Rory nudges me from the couch.

He asks, "Do you really like her?" Her face lights up the screen, her smile is so breathtaking at a time like this. The two in the cave are obviously confused as to why they suddenly have a sponsor but they couldn't be any happier.

My shoulders lift into a shrug, "I don't know, Rory."

"Then why'd you act like you did?" he mutters.

"So she could get that," I point toward the screen. "People will be going crazy to help her get home now." And it's true. Whenever there's someone at home pining for someone in the arena the Capitol bubbleheads go crazy. They eat it up. They do anything to get their precious tribute home to their love.

"But when she gets home you won't like her…" he glances toward the screen. "She's really pretty. Even now." I have to agree, Madge Undersee always looks stunning. "Do you think you could like her?"

"I said I don't know, Rory," I repeat angrily. "She's a nice girl but…"

"But Katniss," he rolls his eyes. "So what's going to happen is she's going to get home," Rory says angrily, "and then you're not going to care about her whatsoever. You know what people are like when they get back from the Games. They're scared and hurting and," Rory pauses and stands up from the couch. Before he storms away he says, "And you're just going to make it worse."

"Whatever you said was to get me home?" she squeaks, her eyes widening as I force my head into a nod. Madge's eyes are instantly filling with tears, the bright blue that once shined is now dark and empty.

"It's not like I wanted you to die, Undersee!"

"You don't… like me at all…" she takes a step back and blinks to keep herself steady. "That's right, you have Katniss."

"Madge," I try to take a step towards her but at the same time she scoots back.

"Save it, Hawthorne," she bites out at me. I've never heard her voice take on a tone so weak and angry. So desperate. "God, I'm so stupid…" she stumbles away from me. "Even as a Victor I'm not good enough for you."

"That's not it," I call after her, but her feet pick up her pace and she scurries away quickly. Despite whatever she picked up in the arena she's no match for me and I catch up to her quickly. "Madge,"

"Just leave me alone, Gale," she pleads. I reach forward and place my hand on her shoulder but she twists it around, locking eyes with me angrily. "Don't touch me," she hisses. She drops my arm and I trip backwards in fear, my arm tingling from the way she twisted it. "You learn a lot when you're fighting for your life," she growls.

"Madge," I try again, but that doesn't work with her, not anymore. The soft spoken girl I once aspired to know is gone, replaced with a bitter, cold woman, who knows nothing but pain.

"What exactly did I have to come home to?" she asks me as her chin quivers. "My mom's gone; my dad's slowly going insane. District 12 is hell, Gale. So what happens when they lift me up in that hovercraft? They show me you. The interviews of you." A tear streaks down her face and she wipes it away quickly. "I thought I had a reason to come home after all,"

"I couldn't watch you die, Madge," I croak out.

"I shouldn't've said anything," she mutters, striding away from me again. This time, I don't follow.

Madge

"It was all made up," I cry into Peeta's chest. "He made it all up…"

"Madge," he soothes, stroking my hair. "He did it to get us… get you home. He cares for you in some way…"

"Not like that," I choke. "Never like that."

"If it makes you feel any better," Peeta says quietly, "Katniss refused interviews. And won't talk to me." I can't help but snort, rubbing my eyes and forcing back tears. "Maybe we were meant to get married after all."

Even though he's in pain Peeta still wears a soft smile. His fingers curl through my hair as I pull myself into a sitting position and rest against his side.

"I won't marry you," I mumble. He laughs and I repeat, "I won't. Snow would like it too much."

Now Peeta snorts, "Look at you, breaking rules, defying the Capitol. Who would've thought?" Ever since the arena he's become more soft-spoken, gentle. His teasing attitude is still there but it's like he's submerged in water. Quiet. "He's just a stupid boy, Madge."

"I don't want to think about it," I huff, lifting my eyes to stop the flow of tears. "Or talk about it."

"If you bottle everything up you'll explode," he murmurs. "Talk to me."

I force myself away from him and towards his door. "I'll be alright," I lie. "I just need some time alone." Peeta tips his head once and then pulls his hand through his hair. "I'll talk about it," I tell him. "Just not… not today. Not after he…" my stomach clenches as I think back to Gale's confession. Again Peeta nods, and then I'm out the door.

Gale

She moves methodically across the dance floor, her and Peeta laughing together. It's nice to see her smiling again. Peeta catches my eye but darts away quickly; I know he says nothing to Madge as he spins her slowly. Her eyes close and she says something to him, but he just shrugs.

"I want to talk to her," I tell an interviewer, "I want to talk to her now."

"It's a shame she doesn't want to talk to you," he says back. The Capitol, their inhabitants and their leaders, aren't very pleased with me.

"Listen, I need to…" the entire room quiets as my voice rises. Peeta spins Madge out of his arms and she glances at me, her eyes suddenly filling with tears, the happiness gone from her face. "Madge,"

Mellark strides across the room as Madge makes her way backwards, toward a different room. "You shouldn't be here," Peeta says to me. Voices gradually start picking up in the room again. "You broke her heart."

"I didn't mean to," I stress. "I just want to talk to her, I just want to say sorry."

"Sorry for what?" His voice is angry and dark, I've never seen Peeta Mellark this way. He's always so kind, so caring. "She's my best friend. Day after day I have to wake up to her screaming in terror while I can do nothing to help her. All I want is for her to be happy, for her to get what she deserves." He shakes his head. "And that isn't you. You don't deserve her, God you don't deserve anyone."

"And you do?" I snap back.

"I may be a killer, and I may be lucky to be alive, but at least I'm honest. At least I don't put on this parade that I don't care about anyone or anything. You want to know what I care about? Madge. And you want to know what she's like now because of you? More broken then she could ever be."

I can't find the right words, "I didn't…"

"She won the Games, she was coming home to a boy that told everyone he loved her too, only guess what! He didn't. He doesn't. And now she has nothing. Her mom's dead, her dad's basically gone. I walked in on her with a pill bottle the other day, you know that? She said it was sleep medicine but I don't buy it." He shakes his head angrily. "I've gotta keep my eye on her 24/7 now because I'm scared for her." I don't have anything to say, I can't figure out what to say. Madge with a pill bottle. I start shaking my head. "Yes, Gale. Now get out. I don't want to see you again. I'm sure she doesn't either."

Madge

The cold air wraps around me as I lean out on the porch. It's weird attending parties for me in my own home; it's strange walking the empty halls of the mayor's mansion. I often find myself unable to breathe, too overwhelmed with thoughts of the arena or the suicide of my mother.

So the to the porch it is. I inhale the scent of the autumn leaves and watch the clouds that hide the stars away from me. I like to think I'm like the stars. Beautiful, still, but hidden from everyone. Now I'm just seen as the killer. The girl that would cry herself to sleep yet slit throats in the morning once she woke up.

Am I still beautiful inside? Gentle? Is there anything left of the mayor's daughter? The girl who played piano for herself instead of for Panem? Hidden like the stars. Maybe.

"You look nice," a voice slices through my thoughts. I don't move from my spot, it doesn't startle me. Nothing startles me anymore. "You always did, though."

"I didn't know you'd be here, Katniss," I say back. She makes her way next to me and leans as well. "I didn't know you still considered me a friend. Or cared about Peeta."

She shrugs and crosses her arms over her chest to protect herself from the breeze. "I got tired of being afraid." I raise an eyebrow but don't turn to look at her. "I was afraid for you when they called your name, too afraid to say goodbye. I thought, maybe if I didn't say goodbye then you could actually come home. And then Peeta pronounced his love for me. So I thought, maybe if I don't say anything he'll realize he doesn't actually love me."

"But he does," I note. The wind carries the hair off my back and I suck in a deep breath. "What changed your mind?"

Again Katniss shrugs. I finally turn to her, observing the fact that she's in a Capitol made dress with her hair elegantly braided. "You were never afraid."

"I was always afraid," I nearly hiss. "I didn't have the chance to hide."

There's a pause as my words linger in the air. Too harsh, they came out too cruel. Maybe there really is nothing left of the mayor's daughter.

"I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye," she whispers. "I'm sorry I didn't greet you when you got off the train. I'm sorry I acted like a coward." Another pause as I try to absorb her words. I realize I have nothing to say to her about any of this.

"Have you talked to Peeta yet?"

A thin smile forms on her lips, "I'm working up to it."

I remember back when Katniss and I sat at lunch together we would avoid talks about boys. Mostly because I thought no boys liked me and Katniss didn't want to invest in anyone. She didn't want to get married, have children. Who would in a place like this? District 12 is nothing but pain, suffering. Especially for someone from the Seam like her.

"Don't be scared that he won't love you anymore," I tell her. "He does. He always has, he always will." Katniss nods and chews her lip, casting her gaze back out over the backyard. "Even if you're not ready for that I'm sure he'd still love to talk to you."

"Do you still love Gale, then? If Peeta still loves me then do you still…" I turn away from her and go to head back inside but she grabs my shoulder. Just before I attempt to snatch myself from her grip she drops her hand. I have to remind myself that I'm not in the Games anymore. "He doesn't love me," she says. "I mean I'm sure he doesn't love you yet but he doesn't love me. He could love you."

With that I march back inside, unable to listen to her voice anymore. I search the crowd until I find Peeta and collapse against his chest. He doesn't have to ask what happened, he just whispers soothing words in my ear and spins me across the dance floor, hiding me from the world like the clouds hide the stars.

Peeta doesn't trust me to be home alone anymore, he thinks I'm going to go insane and do something drastic. He has me sleeping at his house, some nights we share a bed, some nights we both fall asleep on the couch. Today, however, I've got my house to myself.

My fellow Victor has an interview today about his relationship with Katniss Everdeen. It's slow moving, no doubt, but at least they're friends now. She's still very awkward, confused, unsure of how to act, but a few pictures of them together has the Capitol public in a frenzy.

So here I am, time to myself to play the piano. It seems like it's been years since I've had this opportunity, to play for myself and only myself. I used to play for my mother but ever since she committed suicide the day after I was Reaped I can only play for myself.

It's comforting, mostly. Relaxing. It takes me back to when my nanny, Eris, would do my hair as I sat in front of the mirror and my butler would bring me tea. They offered to move in to my new house with me but my father needs them more. I'm better off alone. Or well, with Peeta's constant visits.

Just as I begin to lose myself in a song a gentle knock on the door disrupts me. I should be angry, but I'm not. It's not a normal thing for me to have visitors anymore, the company is always welcome. It could be Delly, I suppose. Maybe my father got off work early. Perhaps Peeta sent Katniss' sister Prim to check on me.

As I reach the door I don't know what I expect. But I know I don't expect Gale Hawthorne with a basket of strawberries.

His voice is hesitant as he searches my eyes, "They're on the house?" I'm so overwhelmed with surprise that I can't properly respond. I blink once and he goes to lower them on the ground. "I know they're you're favorites and I don't,"

"No," I raise my hand to the bridge of my nose and take a deep breath. "Come in." I take a step backwards and leave the door cracked, waiting to see if he'll take up the offer. He does, slowly making his way into the house. The strawberry basket rests uncomfortably in his hands as he glances around, trying to absorb his surroundings. "You can put them in the kitchen," I tell him, gesturing toward the back room.

I almost wait for Gale to make some sort of comment on the house, the way it resembles the mayor's yet is completely different. I think he's smarter than that now, though. Smart enough to not comment.

"I didn't think you'd let me in," he tells me when he returns to the living room. "I put the basket in the sink, I figured,"

"That's fine," I say, slipping my hands into my back pockets.

He asks, "Peeta here?" I jerk my head into a no and the tension eases a bit. I wonder what he has against him. "I heard you playing. You know, the piano." I tip my head into a nod and he smiles slightly. "I watch whenever they show it on TV." I pull my eyes away from his and swallow, noticing it takes a bit effort to get it down.

"What are you doing here, Gale?"

He frowns, also slipping his hands into his back pocket. "I don't know."

"Yes you do."

"I wanted to say sorry, but now that I'm here," he shakes his head and pulls his hands to his face. "I don't know what to say. I don't know how to apologize to you. It's not like my goal was to break your heart. It wasn't, I just couldn't… I had to do everything I could to save you."

I fold my arms lightly across my chest and ask, "Did the Capitol set you up to this? Peacekeepers?"

Gale scoffs and strides across the room to close the distance between us. "You really think I'd do what the Capitol wanted?"

"You did when you pretended to love me," I drop my voice, "why not now?"

"Because it's different," he says. "Because I still feel like I have to protect you. Like I have to keep you safe, like I should be doing something to make sure you're okay."

I roll my eyes, "I'm fine. If anyone needs protection it's you because…"

"You aren't fine, Madge," his voice booms and causes my eyebrows to rise. "You aren't. Don't act like you are."

There's a moment of silence before I say, "Fine. I'm not okay."

"And it's my fault."

I laugh, taking a step backwards and resting against the wall. "No it isn't. It's everyone's fault. It's the arena and how Peeta treats me now and the way my father looks at me. It's how no one can knock on my door because they're scared I'll slit their throat or the way I'm an item of the Capitol and the only reason I'm not being used as a sex toy is because of Peeta's friendship." Gale's eyes narrow on me and I see something there, something like pain or anger. I can't tell the difference, not sure if I want to. "Don't act like you don't know that."

"You're not any different to me," he says softly. I decide the look was pain. I'd rather it have been anger. "You're just scared."

I think back to what Katniss said the other night. You were never afraid. How is it I come across so differently to two people who are so similar? How is it Gale sees through my mask? My clouds?

"I'm not scared of anything," I lie. "Not anymore."

"You're right," he closes the distance again and rests on the wall above me. "You're terrified."

"I don't want you near him," Peeta nearly growls later that night. "He thinks it's okay to just toy with your emotions, to break you and…"

I rest my hand on Peeta's arm, willing him to stop talking. "You don't make that decision," I tell him gently.

"Just the other day you went off about how much you hated Gale Hawthorne and now you're… you're what?"

"Acquaintances," I shrug, removing my arm. "Have to start somewhere."

"He's only doing this to you because he feels guilty," Peeta mutters, desperate to get me to understand. His hands rake through his hair and I study the bags that rest under his eyes. He spends so much time worrying about me that he barely has time for himself anymore. "Don't you get that?"

"Maybe so," I sigh. The thought crossed my mind once or twice. "But what if he does want to be friends? Do you know how many friends I have, Peeta? I can count them on one hand. One." My best friend sighs, his eyebrows knit together as he watches his hands. "There's no harm in it."

"If he hurts you then I swear to God,"

"If he hurts me," I smile, "then you won't have to do anything. Because I will." Peeta laughs and I slip back onto his side. "I think you forget that I'm a Victor too, sometimes. I'm the one who did the dirty work."

Peeta wraps his arm tightly around my waist and sighs, dropping his forehead to my shoulder. "Do you resent me for that? That you killed six and I killed one?"

"No," I say honestly. "And neither should you."

Gale

I used to think there was nothing I enjoyed more than the sound of spring. The way the birds would wake up and chirp early in the morning, the buzzing of the bees and splashing of the pond. But there is. It's the sound of Madge Undersee's piano at ridiculous times such as 3 or 4 AM.

She has trouble sleeping so she plays the piano. She tells me it soothes her. It soothes me, too.

Or maybe it isn't the piano, maybe it's the girl. She thinks I'll never love her, never truly care, and yet every day she welcomes me into her house that's too big for one person and she makes me hot chocolate.

Perhaps that's how this started. Through lying, through pity, but that's not what it is now. My stomach aches whenever her eyes gloss over with tears, my toes curl every time she buries herself in my chest and begs me to make it stop.

God, I wish I could make it stop.

"I have nightmares too," I tell her one night. I work the next day, I shouldn't be here, but I am. I long for the moments we spend together, the time I can sit on her couch with her stationed next to me. "About my dad. You know, back when the mines collapsed." She nods, bringing herself closer to my chest.

"I don't like to talk about it," she says gruffly. Her voice is scratchy, tired. I know she just wants to sleep but she can't. "Peeta… Peeta tries to get me to but he doesn't understand… he didn't…" I nod, wrapping my arms tighter. The only real kill he has is when someone stole poisonous berries from him. There's no real blood on his hands. "Sometimes I just want…" Madge shakes her head and attempts to pull away from me, only I don't let her.

"Want what?"

Her eyes don't meet mine as she says, "To be held."

"That's why I'm here," I say back quietly. Again Madge buries herself against me. My fingers find her hair, curling through the precious golden locks. "They always say it helps to talk about nightmares but I don't believe it. It makes it worse, having to relive it."

Sure, my demons aren't as cruel as hers, but they're still demons. They still claw and scratch at the person I am.

"You don't have to come," Madge whimpers. "You don't. I don't know why you do, I wouldn't if I,"

"Stop," I command softly. "I'm here because I want to be here. Here because,"

"Don't pity me," she pleads. "Please. Please don't pity me." I drop my forehead to hers as she weakly switches to look at me. Her bright blue eyes are filled with tears and her chin quivers. "I don't want that."

"I don't pity you," I whisper, cupping her cheek. Her eyes drop to my lips and then back up to meet my gaze. "I'm here because I want to make you feel safe. Here because I like you."

Madge shakes her head, "There's nothing to like about me. Not anymore."

"That's a lie," I dip my head down until our noses brush. Her breath catches in her throat and her eyes lightly close. "You're determined as hell, Madge Undersee. You're brave and strong. You're talented. You're beautiful, God, your laugh is the very definition of a starry night." Her eyes open again and this time they aren't filled with tears. "The list is endless," I murmur.

Without warning she presses herself up until our lips collide. I drop one of my hands to circle around her waist while the other slips into her hair, the slightest mew echoes in the back of her throat and causes my heart to pick up pace.

"Gale," she breathes between our lips. Her hands wrap around my neck and pull me closer, desperate to keep me here. "Stay tonight," she pleads, pressing a kiss to my jaw. When I don't answer right away because I'm suffering affects from her kiss she repeats, "Gale," I nod and nod and nod until I see stars, pulling her bottom lip between mine as she climbs onto my lap. She smiles against me and I can't help but laugh.

At that she pulls away, her eyebrows finding each other as she smiles. With a grin I ask, "Why do you want me to stay?" I can't help but kiss her as she comes up with an answer.

"Because you're the only one that doesn't make me feel broken," Madge whispers. My lips find her neck, slipping down until they find her collarbone. "You didn't treat me different when I got back," she arches against me. "You told me the truth, not what I wanted to hear. And that's what I needed. It's what I need." I stop my kisses and raise my eyes to hers. "I need you."

I grin, finally relieved to be saying this to her, "Well good thing I'm not going anywhere."